Tag: Understanding

  • The "Key" to Writing Great MLM Success Stories

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    Wouldn’t it be great if your MLM success stories could be remembered and shared by those who read them? Most of us are not natural storytellers and it’s hard to craft a good story. However, there is one key that can help make your stories more successful. This key ingredient is a skill that you must learn if you want to make connections with the prospects. You don’t have to be an extrovert to be successful. What is this key to creating successful content that resonates with your readers?

    Empathy is the key to great MLM success stories.

    Empathy is the key to MLM success stories and to life. It helps builds relationships through trust, compassion and understanding. This umbrella used to be in great abundance, but with technology and society determining the course of everything, it has fallen away. Back in the day, people used to connect in the real world, by having barbecues, going out to dine, and hosting parties. This trend has fallen away, because of environmental issues.

    Your MLM success stories is a chance for you to build a connection with your prospects. When a story fails to relate with a reader, they will find something else that is more “in tune” with them. This is a disaster for authors and businesses that use content marketing. A bad story is like having bad public relations. People will not forget the story. This is a serious issue that can close doors forever, the difficult to overcome bad press would take a few pages to discuss. If you have a boat load of money, you can overcome it a lot faster than one that has to do everything on a small scale. It seems like it’s an impossible task, but it may require some significant changes on the tactical level.

    How you can use empathy in your MLM success stories?

    Empathy is a viable tool to build personal relationships and every MLM success story has that opportunity to do so. The key is writing the content relates to a certain issue that your ideal reader has. Most MLM success stories do not focus on the right elements, they focus on the outcome and the cause, but if you focus on the relation between all the elements. Your stories have a better chance to help your marketing. If you can relate and not be fake about it, the reader will likely stay with the story and engage with you further. They may engage with a simple action, but it is better than abandonment and you don’t want prospects to abandon your content.

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    Source by David L. Feinstein

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  • How Smoking (Drug Abuse) and Drinking (Alcohol) Affects Your Academic Performance

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    One day, Barack’s mother, Ann Dunham marched into his room, wanting to know the details of Pablo’s arrest. “Don’t you think you are a little casual about your future?” she asked. “What do you mean? he responded. “Bar, you know exactly what I mean. Your friend Pablo was just arrested for drug possession, and your grades are slipping. You haven’t even started on your college application.”

    Barack Obama was a serious and brilliant student before he gained admission into Punahou School, Honolulu. In this school, he joined the “Choom gang”. It was a self-named gang that spent time together drinking alcohol, smoking marijuana and sniffing cocaine. Drugs made the choom gang popular in school. His relationship with the choom gang prospered, but his academics suffered. Drugs and alcohol made him lose focus. All he thought about was how to get high. He and his friends Ray, Pablo, Mark and others exhausted their time devising simply ways of doing drugs, which include total absorption (TA), the antithesis and the choomwagon. Reading was difficult because he was always high and confused. Indeed, he was heading towards becoming a junkie.

    His performance in school was a mess. Barack’s mother was right. His grades were going down every term. He was not even bothered about admission to college. All he thought was drugs because it was part of him. Truly, his friend Pablo was arrested by the police for drug possession.

    When pressure from his mum and his poor performance became unbearable, he thought about not going to college. Nevertheless, Barack’s mother kept encouraging him. She always told him that he could get into any school in the country if he just put in a little effort. Within him, he knew that the “effort” he needed was to quit drugs.

    He managed to graduate without mishap and was admitted into Occidental College in Los Angeles. Even without the choom gang around, Barack continued his drug escapade. To continue his education, Barack was transferred to Columbia University, New York.

    In New York, he decided to stop getting high. For the first time in years, Barack applied himself to his studies. He regained his love and strength for reading. Reading and understanding became easy because he was focused and at alert always. Barack began to trace out his future. It became clear that he had been wasting his precious time on drugs. He attended class regularly and soon graduated with good grades.

    “Using drugs and alcohol was a seriously misguided mistake. It was my greatest moral failure that could have destroyed my future. Maybe if I had not stopped doing drugs, I might have dropped out of school and wouldn’t have become the 44th President of the United States”, he once said.

    Lesson

    Drug and alcohol use on campus is universal. Students articulate many reasons why they do it, but most neglect to consider the academic and long-time consequences of their actions. Some are compelled to use drugs at social gatherings either because everyone else seems to be doing it or they believe it’s the cool thing to do. Others feel that drug and alcohol abuse offers an escape away from school or work-related stress, financial worries or relationship problems. Some feel that alcohol and drug abuse provide a way to compensate for feelings of shyness or low esteem.

    According to one study, 90% of teens said they have used alcohol; 50% have used marijuana; 17% have used cocaine, and 13% have used some form of hallucinogenic drugs. Drug use has been classified as a major problem of students as early as in primary 4. A recent report published by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration suggests that adolescents who receive grades of D or below are more likely than those in good academic standing to have recently used cigarettes, alcohol and/or other illicit drugs.

    The new research is part of a large-scale study of health and development conducted in New Zealand. Researchers administered IQ tests to over 1,000 individuals at age 13 (born in 1972 and 1973) and assessed their patterns of cannabis use at several points as they aged. Participants were again tested for IQ at age 38, and their two scores were compared as a function of their marijuana use. The results were striking: Participants who used cannabis heavily in their teens and continued through adulthood showed a significant drop in IQ between the ages of 13 and 38-an average of 8 points for those who met criteria for cannabis dependence. (For context, a loss of 8 IQ points could drop a person of average intelligence into the lowest third of the intelligence range.) Those who started using marijuana regularly or heavily after age 18 showed minor declines. By comparison, those who never used marijuana showed no declines in IQ.

    Researchers studying the effects of alcohol use on the brain are aided by advanced technology such as magnetic resonance imaging (MRI), diffusion tensor imaging (DTI), position emission tomography (PET) and electrophysiological brain mapping (EBM) showed that long-term heavy drinking lead to shrinking of the brain which impairs learning, memory formation and retrieval. That is why most times we read and forget within a short period.

    The process of generating new brain cells (i.e., neurons) is called neurogenesis. High level of alcohol leads to a disruption in the growth of brain cells. The decline of the number of brain cells leads to problems in learning and behaviour. The number of brain cell a student possesses determines his level of understanding. A student who has a higher amount of brain cells will do better academically.

    Thiamine, also known as vitamin B1, is an essential nutrient required by the brain. Up to 80% of alcoholics have a deficiency in thiamine, which may lead to memory loss and mental confusion. It might also affect your attention and concentration. Substance abusers easily get distracted; misplace things, forgetting to keep appointments and so on. As the brain continues to adapt to the presence of the drug, regions outside of the reward pathway are also affected. Brain regions responsible for judgment, learning, and memory begin to physically change or become “hardwired.” Learning, reading, and comprehension becomes difficult because the brain had been wired to focus on alcohol.

    Alcohol can produce detectable impairment in memory after only a few drinks and as the amount of alcohol increases so does the degree of impairment. Large quantity of alcohol can produce a blackout or an interval of time for which the intoxicated person cannot recall key details of events or even an entire event. Think about how much study time you have lost because you were too hung-over the next day to go to class. Drug abusers oversleep and are always tired.

    Severe Hallucination is another problem faced by drug users. Most times they lose touch with realities during lectures or examination. Physically they are in class but mentally they are somewhere else. Academics requires both physical and mental alertness. Therefore, a “high” students can attend lecture but will derive nothing because he was busy building castles in the air. Hallucination leads to academic failure.

    Everyone who became a drug or alcohol addict started with “let me taste or try it.” Smoking cigarette or Indian hemp or drinking alcohol is not a sign of “big boy or big girl”. It is not a sign of maturity but immaturity. You should not please your company by abusing drugs or alcohol. Drugs and alcohol are slow poisons. It solves no problem, if you get high because of financial stress, relationship problems, shyness or peer pressure, after some minute, you will get low and the problem will still be there.

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    Source by Anyaehie George Kelechi

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  • Understanding the Definition of Health Related Fitness

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    Being a Health and Fitness Professional, it is my job to understand terms and definitions which are commonplace to this industry, as well to keep abreast of evolving trends. Through my experience, I have found that a number of terms deserve a little more clarification than that which they are granted.

    Aside from clarifying the definition of Health Related Fitness, this article intends to shed some light on a few of the associated terms, and to show their respective distinctions.

    Is it simply all in a name?

    The fitness world seems to use the concept Health Related Fitness like a generic fitness principle – interchangeable with others like “Physical Fitness”, “Health and Fitness” or simply “Fitness.”

    While all of these terms can be included under the broad term Health and Physical Fitness, they individually refer to different aspects – both generic and specific. Unfortunately, references to these and other fitness-related terms are often vague, while consistency in their intended use is meager at best; there is a kind of “generally accepted” use for them, but individuals often rely on own interpretation, and this can lead to confusion.

    With that said, does Health Related Fitness simply infer fitness by means of good health? Not quite. That is why we need to understand a little more behind these words before digesting the definition.

    How did the term Health Related Physical Fitness come about?

    That is a good question. One could probably ask what is this concept all about – can we not simply use the terms “Fitness” or “Physical Fitness” instead?” Why Health “Related”?

    The main reason stems from the fact that most health and fitness terms are used inconsistently and often refer to different concepts or notions. Subsequent to the 1996 report from the US Surgeon General (Physical Activity and Health; a report of the Surgeon General), there was a move to try and address the alarming rise in obesity levels among the general American public. Studies and initiatives required standardization among clinicians, health practitioners and fitness trainers to grapple with the task at hand. Enter “Health Related Physical Fitness”, a working term to address the general state of health among the public.

    The definition of Health Related Fitness

    According to the American College of Sports Medicine (ACSM), the main authority in this field, ineffective definitions with unclear and subjective wordings, as well as definitions containing terms which themselves require defining, have contributed to confusing the term “Physical Fitness.”

    There exists no reliable guide for Health and Fitness Professionals to measure “Physical Fitness”, because the term has been so loosely and inconsistently defined. It is therefore that one should consider the concept of Health Related Fitness. The definition therefore centers on the 5 Components of Physical Fitness which relate to “good health.” These Components are:

    • Cardiorespiratory Fitness
    • Body Composition
    • Flexibility
    • Muscular Strength
    • Muscular Endurance

    On the other hand, Skill Related Fitness Components are:

    • Balance
    • Reaction Time
    • Coordination
    • Agility
    • Speed
    • Power

    According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the definition of Physical Fitness emphasizes the difference between Health Related Physical Fitness and Athletic Ability Physical Fitness. Its point-of-departure is the “health” of the US nation, which is often referred to as the “public health perspective.” In that respect, the 5 Health Related Fitness Components are more important than those related to Athletic Ability (or Skill Related Components).

    Although the concept of Health Related Fitness has an integral association with “good health”, the 5 Components are addressed individually by health professionals to allow for their measurement.

    Now that we have a deeper understanding of the term, what purpose does it serve?

    Continuing from where the definition left off, the objective of measuring the 5 Components is to advise clients about their own particular Health Related Fitness, and to use data obtained from the tests to design appropriate exercise programs which can then be evaluated.

    The 5 Components contribute evenly to make up a holistic Health Related Fitness, which is of direct interest to the health of the ordinary citizen, in that the concept is normative. In other words, it is a standard which allows for consistent application.

    It is therefore important for those working in the health and fitness industry not to mistake “overall physical fitness” with “Health Related Physical fitness.”

    To conclude, let us consider this distinction between Physical Fitness and Health Related Fitness

    One needs to bear in mind that regular physical exercise can improve overall Physical Fitness, as well as Health Related Fitness. However, overall fitness is a generic term and is up to subjective interpretation, while Health Related Fitness can be assessed.

    The distinction therefore, between these two terms, exists in that Health Related Physical Fitness can be measured according to a set of established comparative norms.

    This is where the “rubber hits the road.” The guidelines set out by the ACSM enable health professionals to work with clients to assess and measure their response to exercise and prescribe appropriate exercise programs. A client’s progress can then be monitored and adjusted where necessary in order to obtain the desired fitness goals.

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    Source by Cleto Tirabassi

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  • Explore a Luxurious Lifestyle With Flats in North Kolkata

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    North Kolkata and luxurious lifestyle? They are not quite synonymous to each other, right? Are you sure about this outlook? Well, the reality is based on a different story altogether.

    North Kolkata essentially represents the vintage charm of the city. There is something unique about the region. While walking down the lanes of this region, you'll come across homes which were built during the British era or even before. The lanes are narrow where you'll find children indulging in playing 'gully cricket'. You'll come across the traditional shops selling fried eatables or as the Bengalis call it 'Tele Bhaja' along with some iconic sweet shops. However, luxurious lifestyle calls much more than such features. It calls for modern features that will upgrade your living standards and simplify it as well.

    Hence, things are changing for North Kolkata. The small shops, old vintage houses and narrow lanes are getting replaced by contemporary facilities and modern living spaces. However, does that mean this place will provide you with a luxurious lifestyle? Let's delve into the blog to familiarize with the truth.

    Luxury Living & North Kolkata- Do they Go Hand-in-Hand?

    Modern Residential Projects: Luxury starts with residential complexes defined by opulence and style. The housing complexes in North Kolkata will provide you the same. Most of the projects in this region are stunning defined by comfort, luxury and modern-day conveniences under one roof. The residential complexes are wrapped in the pure essence of nature backed by modern features, bringing you the best of both worlds.

    Most of the projects are spread across a huge acre of land with 60-70% open spaces defined by lush green foliage. Such projects also consist of landscaped gardens, ponds, pocket gardens, children's park and the likes to provide one with well-rounded lifestyle amidst a stunning milieu.

    Upgraded Living Spaces: With modern housing complexes, you'll also get the advantage to live in fine living spaces which will essentially improve your living standards. Constructed using cutting edge technology, the projects consists of comfort packed rooms, quality apartment specifications (like bathroom & kitchen fixtures) and an amazing city view. What's more? The modern luxury apartments in North Kolkata are open on 3-4 sides and are Vaastu compliant, thus bringing comfort and good vibes in your new home. Some projects will also provide you with duplex living spaces within a price range of 30 lakhs to 40 lakhs. Isn't that incredible?

    Excellent Amenities & Facilities: In today's world, it is mandatory for a residential complex to provide the residents with a remarkable set of amenities and facilities. Understanding the significance of the same, the developers are making sure to provide the residential complexes with clubhouse amenities and residential project facilities that will enhance the living standards a step further. Luxuriate with residential complexes in North Kolkata consisting of features like:

    • Rooftop swimming pool.

    • Adda Room

    • Pool Table

    • Modern Gymnasium

    • A Multi-Purpose Grass Court.

    • Landscaped Green Areas

    • Reflexology Park, etc.

    Apart from these three primary features, connectivity quotient in North Kolkata has improved as well. The region has seen an increase in local train routes, buses, auto-rickshaws, call cabs and even metro links, easier simplifying the daily task of traveling to various parts of the city. For example, if you buy flats in Barasat, you'll stay considerably close to the airport, local railway stations and upcoming metro link for an easy traveling affair.

    With connectivity, the region has also seen an improvement in commercial facilities. The region now consists of popular schools, health care centers, malls, departmental stores, entertainment zones, etc., thus meeting your requirement for a well-rounded lifestyle.

    Hence, does luxurious lifestyle and North Kolkata goes hand in hand? We can say without any second thought they do go hand in hand. Hence, North Kolkata is becoming a hub of high end residential projects to provide you with a posh living standard. Are you planning to buy a new home? Why don't you check out the residential complexes in this region? Your dream home is probably hidden here.

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    Source by Jems Hug

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  • If You Want to Be Rich You Don’t Need Good Grades

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    Did you parents ever give you the advice that in order to become wealthy they need to study hard, get good grades so they can get a good job? I know I have heard this advice on many occasions from my parents. But the fact is that getting good grades no longer ensures that you will become wealthy. Even many doctors, who are often the ones with the best grades, are now struggling to earn a lot of money. If you want to get rich, without needing good grades, then read on.

    Something that they don’t teach you in school is that you banker never asks for your report card. If you go to your bank and ask for a loan, either for a business, property or some other investment, then your banker is not going to ask for your school report card. Your school report card has very little relevance on whether or not you will become rich. There are many highly educated people who are poor and struggling for money. There are also some very uneducated people who a millionaires and billionaires.

    Schools are developed to train people to look for a job, but this alone will not make you rich. Often it is the educated people with the highest paying jobs that have the most debt and are in the worst spot financially. You don’t need good grades in school to become rich, but you do need a good financial education. A lot of people leave school without the slightest financial education. Many leave deeply in debt from school fees and they spend their entire lives trying to get out of debt.

    Some very simple financial education can save you a lot of time and trouble and can make you rich a lot quicker. In fact someone with a lot of financial education, but not a lot of school smarts, is much more likely to become rich than someone with school smarts but now financial education.

    In school you are more intelligent if you can make finer distinctions. Let me give you an example. If you can distinguish a car from a truck then you have some intelligence. However, if you can distinguish a 1987 Ford Laser from a 1990 Ford Laser then that is a greater distinction. You are able to understand things in finer detail and are therefore more intelligent. In school you will also be taught that there is often more than one meaning to a word. For example, the word pound means many different things. It can mean money, in the form of English currency, it can refer to weight, it can refer to a lost dogs home or it can mean to hit with a force. The one word has multiple meanings.

    In finance, some words have different meanings. Only in finance one meaning will make you poor, and another meaning will make you rich. Neither meaning is right or wrong, just different, but they have very different outcomes.

    One of the most important words you will ever understand in finance is the term asset. Now your banker will tell you an asset is anything you own that is of monetary value. This includes you old golf clubs, your suits and your car. This is one correct meaning of the word asset, but it will make you poor. A better understanding of the word asset is something that generates you an income whether you work or not. To put it simply, if you stop working today an asset will continue to put money into your pocket. A liability is something that takes money out of your pocket whether you work or not.

    A lot of people are poor because they spend their time buying assets that are liabilities. They buy things of monetary value that cost them money to own. A car costs money to own every month. So although, according to the bank’s definition of an asset, they are acquiring an asset, they are becoming poorer. Rich people focus on spending their time and money to acquire assets that generate them income. It is these assets that make them rich, and it is the ability to define the difference between an asset and a liability that makes them financially intelligent.

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    Source by Ryan Mclean

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  • What Can I Say To Make My Husband Understand The Pain That His Cheating Has Caused?

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    It’s very common from me to hear from wives who are struggling to explain to their husbands just how much his cheating or affair hurt them and caused them pain. But often, their husband doesn’t react in the way that they were hoping for and they are looking for a way to explain their feelings so that he actually understands them.

    I recently heard from a wife who said, in part: “I have repeatedly tried to explain to my husband the depth of and reasons for my pain after his infidelity, but he either doesn’t want to hear it or he’s not understanding what I’m saying. Sometimes, I pour my heart out to him and try to explain how he has hurt me and all I get is blank stare back or empty assurances that he really is trying. This is so frustrating to me because I need him to understand the extent of my pain so that I can have some reassurance that he’ll never cheat again. I want him to understand why I sometimes act in the way that I do because of what a grave mistake he has made. But part of me thinks that he’s unwilling or just incapable of hearing me. How can I explain my pain in a way that he’ll actually understand and be willing to listen?” I’ll address these concerns in the following article.

    Pick The Right Time And Know That, Once You Start Repeating Yourself, Your Words Lose Their Effectiveness: I hear from both wives who are faithful and husbands who are not on my blog and I can tell you that if you are constantly talking about your hurt and pain, eventually, even the most sincere husband will begin to tune you out. One reason for this is that no one wants to constantly be reminded of the pain that they have caused. And husbands will often want to place their focus on moving on while the wife wants to place her focus on understanding and digging a little deeper.

    This doesn’t necessarily mean that the husband doesn’t care about your pain or just doesn’t want to hear it. But, at least sometimes, he hears your words as accusations. He might constantly hear that his selfishness and weakness has hurt you deeply and this just isn’t a message that he wants to hear on a continual basis, day after day. Men will often give comments like “she constantly wants to tell me how much the infidelity has hurt her. I do believe and understand that and I’m sorry for it. But, do I really need or have to listen to what an awful person I am every single day? How many times does she need to explain where I went wrong or how awful I am before she will feel satisfied that she’s said it enough? I tell her I’m deeply sorry. I listen. But it doesn’t seem to be enough and we repeat this process constantly.”

    I’m not telling you this to imply that you can’t regularly discuss and try to work through the infidelity. I’m telling you this because I want you to understand the obstacles that are in your way and the dynamics that are at play here. If you really want your husband to listen and to take your words to heart, then sometimes you have to pick the right time and limit the message so that it has the maximum impact.

    Consider What Your Husband Is Actually Going To Hear Before You Say The Words: I alluded to this in the previous paragraph, but sometimes the message that your husband hears has more to do with your tone and your delivery than the words that you say. So you might say something like “your infidelity has hurt me deeply. It’s made me doubt your integrity and your love and commitment to me. It’s affected my self esteem and my level of trust. And I’m not sure when things are going to get any better.”

    But what he hears is often something more in line with: “your poor decision to cheat on me has ruined my life and will probably ruin our marriage. You are an awful, selfish person with very little impulse control. And your actions have caused me so much pain that I might not ever fully recover. Because of this, I am going to feel pain and resentment every time I look at you or even think of you. And, this is going to be our lot in life from this day on because I don’t anticipate any changes.”

    These examples might seem a little extreme, but they aren’t that far off from the comments that I hear. An unfaithful husband can hear a message that you never intended. And because of this, he is often somewhat resistant to that message. Of course, the wife will often take this to mean he isn’t listening or he just doesn’t care and so she will continue to repeat herself with more feeling. And of course, this just keeps the cycle going. She doesn’t feel heard and he feels beaten down and neither person is getting what they want or need.

    If you think about it, what you probably really want is to feel heard. You want for him to know, understand, (and even feel) your pain because if he does, he’s less likely to cheat again and more likely to show the remorse that so many of us really want and need. So, think about what’s most likely to accomplish this.

    You don’t want to come across as too accusatory or too despondent because unfortunately, these things will contribute to him feeling defensive and to tuning you out. Instead, you want to use “I” phrases so that it sounds as if you’re talking responsibility for your own feelings and you’re not just trying to lay on the blame or make him feel continuously guilty for the rest of his life. And, you want to choose the time when your message is most likely to be heard. You don’t want to try to explain yourself in the middle of a fight or when you’re main goal is to hurt him. I’ve found that the message is often more likely to be heard if you say it when things are going a little more positively and both people are calm.

    An Example Of What To Say To Express The Pain His Cheating Has Caused: An example would be something like: “if this is a good time, I’d like to briefly explain how much your infidelity has hurt me. I’m not doing this to punish you or to paint you as a horrible person. I love you and don’t think you’re an awful person, but I need to feel as though you care enough to hear me. And I need to know that you truly understand so that you will hesitate to cheat again. Having someone who you love more than anything betray you in this way is something that is more devastating and hurtful than I could have ever imagined. It calls into doubt things about your marriage and yourself that are just devastating. Can you even begin to put yourself in my shoes and imagine that the rolls were reversed? Because I need to know that you understand how much pain I’m in so that we can begin to move forward once and for all. I don’t intend to keep bringing this up, but before I move on, I need to know that you truly understand.”

    Phrasing like this is much more likely to get the response and the understanding that you are after. But you can only play this card so often before your husband begins to tune you out. So once you’ve laid your cards on the table, it’s best to begin to move forward so that your husband can see that you’re sincere about not using your words to continuously punish him.

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    Source by Katie Lersch

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  • Relationship Anxiety – Why Doesn’t My Boyfriend Want to Marry Me?

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    Relationships aren’t always viewed as investments, but in many ways that’s exactly what they are. This is especially the case for a woman who is dating a man who is somewhat resistant to the idea of marriage. If you’re that woman, you know that you’ve invested a great deal of time and emotional energy into the connection. It’s understandable that you’d want and expect a diamond ring and a romantic wedding at some point, but what do you do if that end goal is nowhere in sight? If your boyfriend has made it clear to you that he’s not interested in marriage, you’re left flabbergasted. Before you throw in the towel and walk away from everything you two have built, you need some answers. Understanding why he isn’t feeling drawn towards marriage can help you overcome the problem and get things moving in a more positive relationship direction.

    Think About His Reasons for Not Wanting to Marry

    Obviously, by this point you and your boyfriend have discussed the issue of marriage and how you both feel about it. In all likelihood you’ve pushed your boyfriend to share with you where his reservations are coming from. Each man is unique which means that his reasoning for not wanting to take the plunge is going to be specific to him. Generally there are several common threads that seem to run through relationships in which the man isn’t in any rush to get married.

    One of the most common reasons why men refuse to make such a strong commitment is they sense that they’ll lose their own identity when they become a “husband.” Instead of being a self sufficient, single guy they suddenly become one half of a couple who are joined together forever. To most women this sounds like a dream come true but for a man who doesn’t feel emotionally mature, this can be a very frightening proposition. Not only does he see his own identity being pulled away but he senses that his role, from the wedding day forward, is simply to please his wife.

    Other men won’t get down on bended knee to make that all-important proposal because the financial aspect of it weighs heavily on their mind. Men want to be viewed as providers and if your man doesn’t have the means to support himself, let alone you and any potential children in the future, he isn’t going to want to take any steps towards commitment. He also likely won’t reveal his true motivations for not getting engaged. He doesn’t want you to think poorly of him. To a man the most important thing is that the woman he loves sees him as a hero in every sense.

    Devote Your Energy to Helping Him Overcome His Resistance

    There’s something to be said for not pushing a man to commit, but there are obvious exceptions every woman should be aware of. If you believe your boyfriend would love to be married, but he does have some lingering reservations that you’ve been able to identify, you can then start work on helping him move past those.

    It’s not advisable for you to sit down with a man who you believe is struggling with finances so you two can have an honest discussion about how he can’t afford a wedding, let alone an engagement ring. It is helpful if you share with him how you see marriage as an equal partnership and how important it is to you to contribute equally, always. If your boyfriend feels that some of the financial burden has been taken off his shoulders, in a very subtle way by you, that may steer him closer towards a proposal.

    You can also persuade your man to see the gains he’ll make in being married to you, as opposed to the losses he may believe he’ll suffer. If your guy is surrounded by single male friends, this may prove a bit more challenging, but don’t ever view it as impossible.

    Simply start mentioning how important you believe it is that couples always have their own interests. You could even bring up the example of a married friend of yours. Talk about how you think it’s great that her and her husband still have their own independent friends and that they each spend time apart from one another visiting with those friends.

    If your boyfriend senses that your attitude after you marry is going to be that of a woman who doesn’t want her husband spending all his time with her, he’ll be more inclined to see marriage in a much more positive light.

    Be Realistic About the Future of Your Relationship

    Even if you’ve determined why you believe your boyfriend is being hesitant about committing, and you’ve been working at getting him to move past his reservations, there is still a chance that he’ll refuse to marry you.

    If this is the case, it’s important that you look within yourself to decide if waiting endlessly is the right thing for you. Some people just don’t see marriage as something they want in their lives. If this depth of connection is important to you and your boyfriend has continued to resist, even after you’ve helped him understand the benefits of it, it may be time to rethink your future.

    You, and only you, can decide if marriage is a deal breaker within your relationship. If it’s vitally important to you that you two marry, share that with him and leave the ball in his court. If he continues to ignore your needs, you really have to consider whether a partner like that is truly the best choice after all.

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    Source by Gillian Reynolds

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