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  • How Smoking (Drug Abuse) and Drinking (Alcohol) Affects Your Academic Performance

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    One day, Barack’s mother, Ann Dunham marched into his room, wanting to know the details of Pablo’s arrest. “Don’t you think you are a little casual about your future?” she asked. “What do you mean? he responded. “Bar, you know exactly what I mean. Your friend Pablo was just arrested for drug possession, and your grades are slipping. You haven’t even started on your college application.”

    Barack Obama was a serious and brilliant student before he gained admission into Punahou School, Honolulu. In this school, he joined the “Choom gang”. It was a self-named gang that spent time together drinking alcohol, smoking marijuana and sniffing cocaine. Drugs made the choom gang popular in school. His relationship with the choom gang prospered, but his academics suffered. Drugs and alcohol made him lose focus. All he thought about was how to get high. He and his friends Ray, Pablo, Mark and others exhausted their time devising simply ways of doing drugs, which include total absorption (TA), the antithesis and the choomwagon. Reading was difficult because he was always high and confused. Indeed, he was heading towards becoming a junkie.

    His performance in school was a mess. Barack’s mother was right. His grades were going down every term. He was not even bothered about admission to college. All he thought was drugs because it was part of him. Truly, his friend Pablo was arrested by the police for drug possession.

    When pressure from his mum and his poor performance became unbearable, he thought about not going to college. Nevertheless, Barack’s mother kept encouraging him. She always told him that he could get into any school in the country if he just put in a little effort. Within him, he knew that the “effort” he needed was to quit drugs.

    He managed to graduate without mishap and was admitted into Occidental College in Los Angeles. Even without the choom gang around, Barack continued his drug escapade. To continue his education, Barack was transferred to Columbia University, New York.

    In New York, he decided to stop getting high. For the first time in years, Barack applied himself to his studies. He regained his love and strength for reading. Reading and understanding became easy because he was focused and at alert always. Barack began to trace out his future. It became clear that he had been wasting his precious time on drugs. He attended class regularly and soon graduated with good grades.

    “Using drugs and alcohol was a seriously misguided mistake. It was my greatest moral failure that could have destroyed my future. Maybe if I had not stopped doing drugs, I might have dropped out of school and wouldn’t have become the 44th President of the United States”, he once said.

    Lesson

    Drug and alcohol use on campus is universal. Students articulate many reasons why they do it, but most neglect to consider the academic and long-time consequences of their actions. Some are compelled to use drugs at social gatherings either because everyone else seems to be doing it or they believe it’s the cool thing to do. Others feel that drug and alcohol abuse offers an escape away from school or work-related stress, financial worries or relationship problems. Some feel that alcohol and drug abuse provide a way to compensate for feelings of shyness or low esteem.

    According to one study, 90% of teens said they have used alcohol; 50% have used marijuana; 17% have used cocaine, and 13% have used some form of hallucinogenic drugs. Drug use has been classified as a major problem of students as early as in primary 4. A recent report published by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration suggests that adolescents who receive grades of D or below are more likely than those in good academic standing to have recently used cigarettes, alcohol and/or other illicit drugs.

    The new research is part of a large-scale study of health and development conducted in New Zealand. Researchers administered IQ tests to over 1,000 individuals at age 13 (born in 1972 and 1973) and assessed their patterns of cannabis use at several points as they aged. Participants were again tested for IQ at age 38, and their two scores were compared as a function of their marijuana use. The results were striking: Participants who used cannabis heavily in their teens and continued through adulthood showed a significant drop in IQ between the ages of 13 and 38-an average of 8 points for those who met criteria for cannabis dependence. (For context, a loss of 8 IQ points could drop a person of average intelligence into the lowest third of the intelligence range.) Those who started using marijuana regularly or heavily after age 18 showed minor declines. By comparison, those who never used marijuana showed no declines in IQ.

    Researchers studying the effects of alcohol use on the brain are aided by advanced technology such as magnetic resonance imaging (MRI), diffusion tensor imaging (DTI), position emission tomography (PET) and electrophysiological brain mapping (EBM) showed that long-term heavy drinking lead to shrinking of the brain which impairs learning, memory formation and retrieval. That is why most times we read and forget within a short period.

    The process of generating new brain cells (i.e., neurons) is called neurogenesis. High level of alcohol leads to a disruption in the growth of brain cells. The decline of the number of brain cells leads to problems in learning and behaviour. The number of brain cell a student possesses determines his level of understanding. A student who has a higher amount of brain cells will do better academically.

    Thiamine, also known as vitamin B1, is an essential nutrient required by the brain. Up to 80% of alcoholics have a deficiency in thiamine, which may lead to memory loss and mental confusion. It might also affect your attention and concentration. Substance abusers easily get distracted; misplace things, forgetting to keep appointments and so on. As the brain continues to adapt to the presence of the drug, regions outside of the reward pathway are also affected. Brain regions responsible for judgment, learning, and memory begin to physically change or become “hardwired.” Learning, reading, and comprehension becomes difficult because the brain had been wired to focus on alcohol.

    Alcohol can produce detectable impairment in memory after only a few drinks and as the amount of alcohol increases so does the degree of impairment. Large quantity of alcohol can produce a blackout or an interval of time for which the intoxicated person cannot recall key details of events or even an entire event. Think about how much study time you have lost because you were too hung-over the next day to go to class. Drug abusers oversleep and are always tired.

    Severe Hallucination is another problem faced by drug users. Most times they lose touch with realities during lectures or examination. Physically they are in class but mentally they are somewhere else. Academics requires both physical and mental alertness. Therefore, a “high” students can attend lecture but will derive nothing because he was busy building castles in the air. Hallucination leads to academic failure.

    Everyone who became a drug or alcohol addict started with “let me taste or try it.” Smoking cigarette or Indian hemp or drinking alcohol is not a sign of “big boy or big girl”. It is not a sign of maturity but immaturity. You should not please your company by abusing drugs or alcohol. Drugs and alcohol are slow poisons. It solves no problem, if you get high because of financial stress, relationship problems, shyness or peer pressure, after some minute, you will get low and the problem will still be there.

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    Source by Anyaehie George Kelechi

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  • Department Administrator Interference in the Doctor-Patient Relationship

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    I contacted a resident doctor in Internal Medicine at a teaching hospital and asked if he would be interested in becoming my primary care physician (PCP). My note briefly described my background in health outcomes research and two of my prescription drugs. He wrote back that he would be honored to be my PCP, and came across as professional, humble, and sincere. A new doctor-patient relationship was formed, and I contacted my existing doctor’s office to arrange for my medical records to be transferred, which immediately informed that office that I must be dissatisfied and going to a new doctor. I also shared with the resident doctor confidential information from my medical records and a copy of one of my professional presentations at a health care conference.

    A department administrator then contacted me to say the resident doctors are not available every day of the week for clinic and are not even here when they do their ICU rotation. Also, the Internal Medicine department protocol would not allow the resident doctor to write me a drug prescription for off label use. Finally, she was concerned that in the past I have ordered and correctly interpreted my own blood tests. The administrator’s attitude reflects one of the chief complaints Americans have with the health care system: the system is coming at them and requiring them to get health services in some predefined structure to which the facility is accustomed but which eliminate any potential for individualized treatment according to individual patients’ needs.

    Apparently the administrator did not spend enough “careful consideration” to get her facts straight. I do not need to see my PCP daily or even monthly. My track record shows I saw my existing doctor once in a calendar year, and the prior doctor before him I saw once in a 15-month period. So the administrator based her decision on her own ignorance of the facts.

    She also misstated facts concerning off-label prescriptions for drugs by resident doctors. One of the drugs we are talking about is Clomiphene. Both a resident doctor and an attending faculty physician at the teaching hospital advised me that they would be willing to write me (off-label) prescriptions for this drug, and the attending physician did indeed phone in a prescription for one of the drugs at my request. Similarly, the Dept. of Obstetrics and Gynecology (OB-GYN) advised me that their doctors, both resident and attending, have prescribed Clomiphene to patients. Therefore, residents in Family Medicine and OB-GYN (both primary care departments) can write prescriptions for Clomiphene, but “protocol” prevents residents in Internal Medicine (also primary care) from writing off-label prescriptions. What kind of a cockamamie rule is that? What, the residents in Internal Medicine are too dumb or too naive to understand off-label benefits of medicines?

    Finally, I had planned for my resident PCP to order and interpret blood tests each time I visited him. The administrator could have learned that fact if she had bothered to call or write me before jumping to conclusions and interfering in my doctor-patient relationship. I strongly reject the Director’s paternalistic view of medicine in which she feels she has to protect resident doctors from patients who order or interpret their own blood tests. These resident doctors are young professionals who have completed their medical degrees; they don’t need paternalistic oversight from a department administrator telling them who they can and cannot invite to be patients.

    Apparently, an overwhelming number of patients who visit this teaching hospital’s doctors want to be told what to do and how to feel. I am the exact opposite; I take personal responsibility for and manage my own health, which is strongly advocated under health care reform. Having a more equal, collaborative relationship with my PCP works for me, and that seems to be the true reason for the administrator’s interference. Studies show that medical malpractice rates drop with a non-paternalistic model of health care services. That fact of reducing litigation risks is pushing more health care systems across the country to migrate to a non-paternalistic model.

    LEGAL ANALYSIS

    I. Formation of Doctor-Patient Relationship

    The first question to address is whether, based on this fact pattern, a doctor-patient relationship was formed. When I gave the Internal Medicine resident doctor confidential information on two off-label drugs that I take, that act would be analogous to a prospective client approaching a lawyer with facts about his case to see if the lawyer will assist him. Contacting a lawyer this way does not create an attorney-client relationship. However, the lawyer is under an ethical duty to protect the confidentiality of the information shared by the prospective client. Similarly, the resident doctor was under an ethical duty to keep the information I shared with him confidential.

    When a lawyer responds to a prospective client, “I agree to take your case,” or “I will be your lawyer,” or words to that effect, then an attorney-client relationship is created, and the protection afforded to the client’s information rises to the level of constitutionally protected attorney-client privilege. In this case, when the resident doctor responded that he would be honored to be my PCP, we have offer and acceptance forming a contract. The offer-acceptance could be construed as my offering to be his patient, which he accepted, or his offer to be my PCP, which I accepted.

    But offer and acceptance are only two of the three required elements to form a contract. The third essential element is exchange of consideration, expressed in Latin as the quid pro quo. In this case, there were several separate exchanges of consideration that complete the formation of a contract and thereby render it enforceable in a court of law. Consideration is defined as some act or some transfer of an item from one party to the other, for which the receiving party had no legal right to otherwise obtain that consideration. There is no requirement that the consideration have intrisinc value. For example, the transfer of a scrap piece of paper can constitute valid consideration that renders a contract binding and enforceable.

    The initial disclosure of confidential information from my health history amounts to sufficient consideration. Second, the fact that both I and the doctor each began pursuing scheduling an appointment for me to see him is also consideration: neither of us had a prior legal right entitling us to that action by the other person. Third, when we continued to correspond after offer and acceptance, with additional information being shared back and forth, further consideration was exchanged. My sending the resident doctor a copy of one of my professional presentations was a fourth example of consideration. Finally, my request that my medical records be transferred to the resident doctor’s clinic constituted an obvious legal detriment based on reliance rendering the contract enforceable.

    If a lawsuit were filed for enforcement of this contract, I am confident that the plaintiff would overcome any attempt to dismiss the lawsuit by the teaching hospital’s attorneys based on the absence of a contract. Defendant might attempt to argue that no contract could be formed, because the resident doctor is not licensed. According to the website http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/resident+physician, a “resident physician is a graduate and licensed physician receiving training in a specialty, usually in a hospital.” The resident’s licensing status would not prevent the formation of an enforceable contract, as we have in this fact pattern, for treatment in the supervised residents’ clinic.

    In court, we would pose a series of questions: 1) Is the resident a graduate of a medical school? Yes! 2) Was our conversation focused on health care treatment? Yes! 3) Does the resident see other patients (whether supervised or unsupervised) in the resident clinic? Yes! 4) Are the resident’s services billed to the U.S. government and to private insurers as the services of a doctor (not a student or a doctor’s aide)? Yes! 5) Did we both use the term PCP in describing our relationship? Yes. 6) Did the resident undertake to assist me in obtaining a medical appointment to see him? Yes! With these answers, any court of law is going to recognize if it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it is a duck. Therefore, the defendant’s argument on licensing will be viewed as a red herring and will fail. In a similar vein, courts have noted “it is axiomatic that a doctor-patient relationship may arise from, briefly exist, and be limited by the unique circumstances presented in a transfer situation.” Sterling v. Johns Hopkins Hosp., 145 Md. App. 161 (Md. Ct. Spec. App. 2002). It does not matter how long the doctor has been seeing patients or how brief the contact with any given patient, a doctor-patient relationship can be formed.

    Selection of a PCP and other medical decisions are “core” private decisions. A fundamental tenet of privacy jurisprudence, as it has been applied to other types of personal matters, is that the individual most directly concerned is entitled to make and implement the protected decision autonomously and free from paternalistic government intrusion. See, e.g., Zablocki v. Redhail, 434 U.S. 374, 54 L. Ed. 2d 618, 98 S. Ct. 673 (1978) (decision to marry); Moore v. East Cleveland, 431 U.S. 494, 52 L. Ed. 2d 531, 97 S. Ct. 1932 (1977) (decision to live with extended family members); Griswold v. Connecticut, 381 U.S. 479, 14 L. Ed. 2d 510, 85 S. Ct. 1678 (1965)(reproductive choice). I would argue that the constitutional right to privacy also protects autonomy in selecting a PCP among a wide choice of available doctors, selecting which medications I want prescribed, and choosing what lab tests I want to order myself to monitor my health.

    In 2005, the Supreme Court of Arkansas provided the best statement in American jurisprudence on the elevated status of the doctor-patient relationship. The court noted the relationship of doctor-patient is unique. “The loss of this relationship, even temporarily, causes irreparable damage to the doctor and the patient. There is no adequate remedy at law because the loss is a loss of a one-time opportunity.” Baptist Health v. Murphy, 362 Ark. 506 (Ark. 2005)

    The court noted that the hospital had violated the Arkansas Department of Health rules and regulations for hospitals by failing to enforce policies that protected the doctor’s selection of patients and the patient’s choice of a physician. “We interpret this to mean that an otherwise qualified doctor must be granted access to his patient for the purpose of treating his patient, if that is what both the doctor and the patient want. Or, stated another way, a hospital cannot deny the services of a physician of the patient’s choice if the patient is already being seen by physicians at the hospital. Baptist Health v. Murphy, 362 Ark. 510-511 (Ark. 2005)

    Based on reading Baptist Health, I will now forward a copy of this article to the state Department of Health to determine whether the teaching hospital violated any of my state’s regulations requiring Tennessee-licensed medical centers to have policies or bylaws that respect the patient’s right to select his own physician. If so, then the teaching hospital is violating those regulations.

    II. Tennessee’s Tortious Interference Statute

    Tenn. Code Ann. § 47-50-109 is captioned, “Procurement of breach of contracts unlawful – Damages.” The administrator tortiously interfered in my doctor-patient relationship and prevented the resident doctor from performing his services under our contract. She therefore procured a breach of that contract. The administrator will argue that she was merely performing her duties, but that is no excuse for interfering in an existing doctor-patient relationship.

    Although Tennessee jurisprudence does not have a case on point, courts across the country have taken a dim view and expressed disapproval of employer interference in the doctor-patient relationship. For example, the U.S. Supreme Court stated, “The ethical objection has been that intervention by employer… makes a tripartite matter of the doctor-patient relation. Since the contract doctor owes his employment and looks for his pay to the employer… rather than to the patient, he serves two masters with conflicting interests.” United States v. Oregon State Medical Soc., 343 U.S. 326, 329 (U.S. 1952).

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    Source by Michael Guth

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  • Heal Yourself With Water – The Water Cure

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    Most people have figured out by now that medicine does not cure disease. Medicine isn’t necessarily bad; it just isn’t necessary. Do not let your fear of disease make you forget that humanity wasn’t exactly dying off when pharmaceutical companies saw a financial opportunity and exploded onto the scene. You need to know the facts; then, if you still choose to be ill, it will truly be a “free choice,” and not one born of the absence of awareness.

    You are mostly water. You are made of cells (30-50 trillion of them); and they are mostly water. You need to replenish the water in your body in order to keep it fresh and clean, so that you can stay fresh and clean – healthy. Water cleans you, nourishes you, energizes you, cools you, lubricates you, supports and sustains you, and is truly most of what you are. And water is simply Hydrogen and Oxygen; both of which are atoms – which are simply Energy. You are Energy; but between pure Energy and the form you have currently assumed, there is water.

    When I say, “Water,” I do not mean to say, “Coca cola, Gatorade, Milk, Diet Coke, Orange juice, Beer, or any other liquid solution; these do not clean and support your body. These substances add chemicals to your body which alters the way you feel. Drinking water helps cleanse these chemicals and other toxins from your body returning you to your natural state of health – a state which most Americans have truly not seen since they were very, very young (if then!).

    It is estimated that most Americans are chronically dehydrated. How do you know if that’s you? If you don’t drink 2-3 liters of pure water each day (an estimated one-half your body weight, in ounces), you are most likely dehydrated. Even if you do, you may still be dehydrated depending on your weight and the amount of other solutions, salts, and sugars in your diet. You are mostly water; and good health is primarily predicated on the maintenance of your water level and the cleanliness, or purity, of the water in your body. If the water is heavily-laden with suspended materials, you are toxic. If you are toxic, you are sick, overweight, or on your way to both of these conditions. There are no other options; and there is no escaping this simple reality.

    “But I don’t like drinking plain water!” I hear it all the time; but what most people have been conditioned to Not Realize is that this statement is only an indicator light that you are addicted to the flavoring and chemicals in the beverages you do consume. In the absence of true awareness, what we LIKE is what we choose. If I told you that drinking coffee would make you explode, and then the guy next to you took a big drink of coffee and exploded, I bet you a dollar you’d put your coffee cup down. But what if it took 20-years for you to explode? Would you start drinking water instead of coffee today, or would you put it off hoping you could quit nineteen-years from now and be none the worse for wear?

    I know the things we drink taste good; and I’m not saying that they are “bad.” But there is an obvious effect from the chemicals in the things we drink; and you are definitely not doing yourself any favors by not drinking enough water. I am not necessarily trying to change anyone’s ways; but some of you do indeed want to feel better and have simply never been told anything other than what you’ve been told – none of which contained the answers to your problems, or you wouldn’t have them right now. If you want different, you must think and do different; and yet most people simply can not do this – and don’t even realize it.

    In the Declaration of Independence, there is a line which reads: “…and, accordingly, all experience has shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed.” I realize that words do not teach, and that you can lead a horse to water, but you can not make that horse drink water when it could have a Diet Coke instead; but maybe nobody ever told you what happens when you don’t drink enough water, so here goes…

    If you do not drink enough water, you could quickly experience any of the following, in any combination: Dyspeptic pain, Colitis pain, False Appendix pain (of course the surgery will be real…), Hiatus Hernia, Rheumatoid arthritis pain, Low back pain, Angina, Headaches (one of the first signs of dehydration), Stress, Depression, Asthma, Allergies, Excess body weight, High blood pressure, High cholesterol, Diabetes, Fainting, Insomnia, and many other serious and not-so-serious symptoms. If you have any of these symptoms or conditions, they could have been brought on by not drinking enough water; and some of them could be caused by the drugs you are taking for problems you could be drinking water to get rid of. Yes, there is a good chance you are treating “thirst” with prescription drugs that only “clog your filters” (liver and kidneys) and give you the added bonus of “side-effects” which could actually kill you. I’ll just have the water, please…

    The bottom line is that you are water and need to renew yourself daily. Failure to do so is typically the result of ignorance and addiction; one of which should have been remedied by the last paragraph. Chronic (constant/ongoing) cellular dehydration is a painful way to die prematurely of outward symptoms and manifestations which have, until recently, been thought to be diseases of “known” and unknown origins. Until you are properly hydrated and oxygenated, you have absolutely no way of knowing what is causing your pain and illness, regardless of what you have been told about your health up to this point. You are water. You have a choice. What kind of ending do you want for your story?

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    Source by Pete Koerner

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  • Jeffrey Archer’s "Old Love" Redefines Love Story

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    The “Old Love” of Jeffrey Archer is a unique amorous tale between two brilliant students of English literature from Oxford. Archer makes an exploration of the theme of love from a completely unusual standpoint. The rendition is fiercely honest while he portrays a chronic sense of envy and rivalry between two sworn arch-rivals in the Oxford University: William Hatchard and Philippa Jameson. Initially, their aggressive competition unsettles their tutor Simon Jakes. In their constant intellectual debates, Philippa confronted the deep, confident voice of William with her high-heeled boldness. The mutual hatred was absolute. Their sharply perceptive and analytical mind refused to be submissive to each other. Indeed, this fierce sense of competition enabled them to outshine everyone else in the field. Given the background of 1930’s she, to him, was “that silly woman” and he “that arrogant man”. Yet strange is the way of destiny that an unusual love story should blossom between the bitterest of academic rivals!

    This rivalry assumed an unpalatable intensity when both excelled as toppers in their final degree exam. The Charles Oldham Shakespeare’s essay writing competition fed fat to this fire of passionate jealousy and became a life and death question for each to defeat the other.There were liberal exchanges of scornful remarks between the two to play each other down. However, things took a dramatic turn when William unwittingly discovered about the death of Philippa’s father (who was a Vicar) from cancer, and also, his secret dream to let his daughter study in Oxford and win the Charles Oldham award. The sight of silent sobbing of his proud and powerful adversary stirred up a sudden feelings of empathy in his guts. He got over his tentative doubts and offered to accompany her to her village for the burial ceremony. They held hand for the first time and discovered the new bond of friendship as they started their journey to her village. They communicated with each other spontaneously while returning to Oxford which bounces Philippa back to her normal competitive spirit. She slowly discovers the growth of her new found intense attraction for William. The latter secretly enjoys this interesting conversion in the Vicar’s daughter.

    The transformation of hatred into love has always been a captivating subject in itself, and Archer makes the situation entertaining with the employment of sparkling wit in their conversation. They make a visit to Stratford and have meals together. But their first date was far from usual: it is a unique blend of warmth and intellectual antagonism! If this instinctive antagonism triggered a strong sense of hatred before, now it drew them closer. In fact, this killer instinct became a delirious source of entertainment for both. Archer makes the reader question if intense hatred could indeed be an expression of hidden attraction?

    Anyway, the situation takes a quirky turn while returning from Stratford. On their way back to Oxford, Phillipa and William had to spend the night in a car as the petrol gauge showed empty. The former obviously did not miss the chance of expressing her doubt about the cerebral power of a person who couldn’t even read a petrol gauge! The day next William gave her the reason why he let the car run out of petrol: He said with a rare sense of humor: “My father told me if I spent the night with a barmaid then I should simply order an extra pint of beer, but if I spent the night with the vicar’s daughter, I would have to marry her.” He came down on his knees and said,” Will you marry me if I win the Charles Oldham?” Philippa answered that “as there is absolutely no fear of that happening I can safely say, yes… ” When William declared his love for her she told him not to show his face in Somerville again if he failed to win Charles Oldham. The readers wonder if the writer reveals Philippa’s secret wish that she could marry himeven at the cost of losing Charles Oldham! Otherwise why would tears come to Philippa’s eyes when a girl informed her that she had won? It was a moment of crisis for her because between the conflicting emotion of ambition and love in her heart, the latter had won and for once the proud girl confessed, “I do love nothing in the world so well as you; is that not strange?”

    However, when she discovered that William was a joint winner, her puckish spirit returned as she said ” I take thee for pity” to which William replied ” I yield upon great persuasion… ” They were locked in a passionate embrace, and after that, they were never apart for more than a few hours. Strangely, their honeymoon in Athens ended up in a heated argument over the relative significance of Doric and Ionic architecture!

    Later in life, this constant battle of wit prevented their romance from dwindling into boredom and banality. Their serious research works and creative activities, though on different fields, kept them deeply connected. After three years, “with well-received D. Phils”, they moved on, in tandem, to college teaching. But their fierce encounters continued and their sharp wit at each other’s expense would flash across the dinner tables at Oxford. However, those who understood their love felt envious of their unique relationship! They were childless yet their life was not tasteless.

    Returning home after the celebration dinner (being declared the Joint Professor), their heated argument over Proust’s monumental work took such an intimidating turn, that a policeman, nearby, asked Philippa “Is everything all right madam?” “No, it is not”, William declared “this woman has been attacking me for over 30 years, and to date the police have done deplorably little to protect me”. Yet, beneath this apparent antagonism, their bond continued to grow stronger with each passing year. Interestingly, their intense love was inseparable from their zealous intellectual antagonism which lent a peculiar aura to their relationship. When Philippa was made the Dame of the British Empire, William referred to her as an “Old Dame” he had to live with now. It is this bitter-sweet flavor of their love which defines their marriage.

    The most irritable habit of Philippa to William was her determination each morning to complete “The Times” crossword before he arrived at the breakfast table. One fine morning in June, William, studying the clue, filled in the eight boxes left incomplete by Philippa. Philippa’s instantly retorted that there was no such word. To the delight of Philippa the word “Whym Wham” could not be found in the shorter Oxford Dictionary. William assured her that the word could be found in OED on his desk, made for scholars like him. William left the breakfast table with sharp comments on Philippa’s limited command of English language and that she will have to eat a humble pie at Somerville’s Gaudy Feast as she reads the collected works of John Skelton…

    William left with a sigh, kissing his wife on her cheek, wishing he had lost Charles Oldham. Philippa replied that he did indeed because it was highly inappropriate during those days to declare a woman as the sole winner! Having closed the front door, as she entered the kitchen, Dame Philippa suddenly suffered her lone heart attack. She called out to William hoarsely but in vain. The news of her death was conveyed and the story ends with a note of dark humor in the suicidal note of Sir William (who shot himself with his pistol): “Forgive me, but I had to let her know”. There was the volume of the work of John Skelton held open in one of his hand with the word “Whym Wham” underlined neatly, his fingers stiff and cold around it. Such weird ending, subtly hints at the essence of special relationship this couple shared so that they rise above the great marriage vow “TILL DEATH DO US PART.” Archer’s love story excels because death could not part Sir William and Dame Philippa! Even while following his wife to her grave, William felt the need to camouflage the inseparable bond they shared, and the insufferable loneliness he would feel without her… he does it with a wry sense of humor!

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    Source by Mandira Mazumder

    Views: 0

  • My Husband Says That I Am Too High Maintenance

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    Any complaint that causes your husband to disconnect from your marriage, to distance himself from you, or to consider a separation hurts. There is no scenario where this isn’t painful. But I suspect that it can feel a little more painful when the reason for his distance seems personal.

    What I mean by that is that sometimes, a man will be unhappy because of reasons that have to do with him. He may be having a midlife crisis. He may believe that marriage doesn’t suit his ideology. He may be having a personal crisis. I am not saying that these scenarios are not horribly painful. They are. But at least the wife has no reason to blame herself.

    And then there are the scenarios where things do feel personal. These are the instances where your husband is blaming the issues in the marriage on the wife. It could be something that she has done or something about her, about her actions, or about her personality that is the supposed problem.

    Here’s an example. A husband might tell his wife that being with her is “exhausting.” She might explain: “for the past three months or so, I have been noticing my husband acting distant and weird. I confronted him about it right away, but he denied that there was a problem. Then we were at a family gathering this weekend and it was held outside in 90 degree heat. Like everyone else, I said it was hot and wanted to leave after dinner because I felt sick. My husband got angry at me and said he was tired of dealing with my ‘high maintenance personality.’ As we were leaving, he said that being married to me is ‘exhausting’ and that he may want a separation because he can not stand living his life this way anymore. He says that nothing makes me happy and that I can’t just sit back and roll with the punches of life like a normal person. He says that I am spoiled. He says that he feels like he always has to pick up the slack. I admit that I am not as thick skinned as some when it comes to sitting in the heat all day, but that doesn’t make me a bad person. And he knew that when he married me. I told him that I could try to change and he said that people like me never change and that we are just not compatible. He says that I make him ‘feel tired’ and he doesn’t want to feel that way anymore. Where does that leave me? I don’t want to lose my husband. This really hurts my feelings and feels like a personal attack. But I could forgive it and move on if he would give me the chance. The problem is that he does not seem at all receptive to me right now.”

    I understand why you are hurt. These types of issues can feel, and sound, like a criticism. When someone tells you that you are ‘exhausting,’ that phrase makes it seem as if they no longer want to do the work to keep up with you. Of course it hurts.

    Understand The Context In Which The Comments Were Made: I think that your husband’s ‘fatigue’ might be due to the fact that the maintenance issue may have bothered him for a while, but he sat silent and said nothing – even when you asked him what was bothering him. So things built up until they exploded. His silence is not your fault. And things may have been easier now if he had addressed the problem much earlier – before he became so angry that he lashed out at you.

    Know That Context Doesn’t Mean That It Isn’t Time To Take Action: It’s normal to hope that this will blow over. And it may – for now. But any time a husband is uttering words that indicate he is tired of your marriage or thinks that there is a compatibility issue, you want to pay very close attention and you want to take action right away. I say this not to scare you, but from the concerned place of someone who was in a similar situation. I hoped for the problem to pass over, but I ultimately ending up separated. I think that I possibly could have avoided that fate by taking action at the first sign of trouble.

    Moving Forward Quickly: It’s unfortunate that your husband waited so long to share that this issue has been bothering him, but you can’t undo that at this point. What you can do, however, is be careful of what (and who) you are presenting to him moving forward. It doesn’t sound as if he has made definite plans to move out or to pursue a separation, which means that you may have some time to address this.

    Sit back and be really honest with yourself. Which of his concerns have some validity? What is he right about? Is this issue something that other friends and family members have expressed? If so, then there is nothing wrong with addressing it. Sometimes, it takes a painful situation to stimulate growth. If you take this and use it to move you forward so that you grow and improve in some way, then at least the pain will have been for something. At least you can use this as a stimulus to improve your marriage.

    If you are very honest and you find that his words do not have validity, then you may went to dig a little deeper. Sometimes, a husband will project another problem onto to what is obvious or handy. It may not have been the heat or your personality at all during that family gathering. But the situation might have given your husband an easy explanation. Sometimes, a husband can be frustrated and not quite sure why. That’s one more reason why it’s very important to be extremely observant right now – so that you are taking action on the items that are truly at issue.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

    Views: 0

  • MLM Training – How To Answer the 30 Most Common Questions And Rejections In MLM or Network Marketing

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    Ok, so you’ve made the call, initiated the invitation, but things didn’t go as smoothly as what you expected.

    Your prospect started to ask some tough questions.

    Gulp, all of a sudden your tongue got tied up! You panic and said something stupid.

    Just yesterday, one of my downlines asked me after she made her first few calls to some prospects.

    What do you say when they ask you, Is this MLM? or Do I need to sell stuff? or Do I need to spend a lot of time?

    Here are your answers to the 30 most asked questions in MLM or Network Marketing.

    1. What is this business all about?

    Answer 1 (refer back to your website): Well, everything is explained on my website. Can you check it out today?

    Answer 2 (if your company does not provide a website): Well, I can’t explain it over the phone, so the best way is to meet up either today or tomorrow so that I can show you the details.

    * Now, the reason why we do not want to explain over the phone, is simply because there is no way the prospect can see the full big picture with some words transferred over the phone! Remember, our responsibility in MLM is to pass the message on and the clearer the message, the lower the chance of rejection or misinformation.

    2. Is this MLM?

    Answer: (Answer a question with a question) Why do you ask that? Have you done MLM before?

    * In this case, we answer a question with a question because we want to know if the prospect is NEGATIVE towards MLM. If the prospects answers your question with a negative response eg. Yes I have and I failed terribly or No I have not, but my relative/friend was involved with some MLM and failed, then you must be more tactful and answer Well, its not what you think or have seen. Check out my website or I can show you the details when we meet up today or tomorrow.

    3. Is this one of those pyramids or money games?

    Answer: No, of course not. Why do you say that? Did you have a bad experience with something like that?

    *Again, we want to find out if the prospect had a negative experience and we want to reassure them that our business is nothing like that.

    4. So do I need to sell anything?

    Answer: No, this business is not about being a super salesperson if you do not like sales.

    *The reason why we say this is because more than 90% of the worlds population does not like sales. However, its more of a fear of having to sell stuff because they do not see the benefits or whats in it for them.

    5. Do I have to sell stuff to my family and friends?

    Answer: No, you do not have to if you do not like doing that.

    * Most people fear peddling products to their family and friends, however most of the time, their opinion will change when they realize how good the products are and how they can benefit from those products.

    6. Do I have to make cold calls?

    Answer: No, you do not need to make cold calls if you do not want to.

    7. Do I have to spend long hours to do this business?

    Answer: Well, its actually flexible and totally up to you. The more time and effort you put into the business, the more you will earn as there is no limit to the amount of money you can make.

    8. I don’t have many friends.

    Answer: Its ok. You do not need to depend on your friends and relatives to succeed in this business.

    9. So what do I need to do?

    Answer: You need to go through our company training and learn the basics of the business, then follow our step by step system to guide you towards success.

    10. Do I need to invest a lot of money?

    Answer: That’s the beauty of this business. You do not need to invest a huge sum of money to start the business. How much will you need to start a McDonald’s or Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise?

    *The idea here to make a powerful reference to a business like McDonald’s which everyone knows or has heard about. Then, inform the prospect that a McDonald’s franchise takes something like US$1 million dollars to start. However, our business just needs a few hundred or thousand dollars to get started. Comparatively, that’s not a huge investment at all!

    11. I can’t talk as well as you.

    Answer: In this business, its not about being able to talk well. Besides, well be guiding you with our step by step system that does not require you to talk well or be a good salesman.

    12. I am just too busy.

    Answer: Will you like to have more time freedom then?

    *Explain to the prospect the ideas I shared in WHY MLM about exchanging your time for money and exchanging OPT(Other peoples time) for your wealth. Many people think they are doing well, but they don’t realize they are still caught in the rat race.

    13. I don’t think MLM or Network Marketing is a professional career.

    Answer: Have you heard of Donald Trump(ultra rich billionaire property mogul in the hit show THE APPRENTICE) or Robert Kiyosaki (World famous author of the book RICH DAD POOR DAD)? If both of them strongly recommend network marketing or MLM as one of the best businesses for people to get rich with, do you think that they will risk their reputation on something that is not professional?

    *The best way is to show them Donald Trump and Robert Kiyosaki’s book which they co-wrote together, Why We Want You To Be Rich? and flip to that one entire chapter where both of them recommend that we join network marketing in order to get rich!

    14. Have you made any money yet?

    Answer(if you just started): No, I just started the business and any business takes time to generate income. However, I can introduce to my upline who has made money already and is very successful. You can check out his website or I can arrange a 3 way call for a conversation with him.

    15. How long will it take for me to make any money?

    Answer: Its up to how much time and effort you put into the business. However, give yourself at least 3 months to learn the ropes first.

    16. What if I run out of friends?

    Answer: As I mentioned, you do not need to limit yourself to your friends and family. We will guide you step by step how you can have an unlimited number of people to share the business with.

    17. I don’t think I can afford the money to start.

    Answer: Do you really seriously want to achieve your dreams? If yes, figure out a way you can get the money to start. You can start saving up now so that you can start later.

    18. You are already successful, that’s why you can do it but I am not like you.

    Answer: Do you want to change your life then? If yes, start by being a good student and learn how to do it. We are willing to guide you towards success.

    19. Do I have to become a products expert?

    Answer: No, we are only the messengers who pass the information on to others. We do not need to become doctors, or nutritionists or product experts.

    20. Can I build my business overseas to other countries?

    Answer: Yes, of course. With the internet, we are able to share our business opportunity with anyone in any country around the world. So long we are able to deliver the products there, anything is possible.

    21. Can I start part time and still succeed?

    Answer: Yes, of course. Many of us start part time and build up a significant income before we go full time.

    22. How long will it take to achieve a full time income?

    Answer: Just like any business, give yourself at least 6 months to 1 year to build up a significant income.

    23. Can I register a company to do this type of business?

    Answer: Yes of course. You are already considered a self employed business owner by starting this business, so you can register a sole proprietorship, partnership or incorporated company to do this business and enjoy all the tax benefits.

    24. Can I do this business together with my spouse?

    Answer: Yes of course. In fact, we have seen many success stories of couples who work together as partners in this business and it not only helps with their finances, but their marriage as well.

    25. The money in network marketing is too slow for me.

    Answer: Well, if you’re looking for fast money, usually its associated with high risk. However, if you want low risk, but highly leveraged passive residual income i.e. income that grows while you sleep without risking high investments, network marketing will give you that if you work the business for 1 to 2 years.

    26. Too many people fail in MLM.

    Answer: Isn’t that true in any industry? Example, insurance, property agents, even 9 of 10 traditional businesses fail in any given year. Be it in MLM or in any industry, the only people who fail are those who give up. And those who succeed are those who never ever GIVE UP.

    27. I hear too many horror stories and negative comments about MLM.

    Answer: There is nothing wrong about MLM as a business model. Its just misunderstood by the general public. However, did you know that when franchising first started in USA, everyone said it’s a scam? The same thing happened when personal insurance policies were first introduced to the general public. It took more than 20 years before the public started to accept that personal insurance wasn’t a scam to cheat your money but a necessary protection instead. But if you had been one of those pioneering leaders in the Insurance industry, today you will be very rich! So its the same situation for MLM, when less people understand it, that’s when the opportunity is BIG.

    28. Do I need to convince people to buy products?

    Answer: No. Your responsibility is to pass the information to them so that they can review the DVD, website or magazine so that they can convince themselves if they are interested. You do not need to do any convincing at all.

    29. I have no extra time to do this.

    Answer: If today I told you that I’m selling my ferrari sports car for $1000 and you only have until tomorrow to grab this limited time offer, will you find the time to get $100 to me right now? If yes, it means that the point is whether you really want it bad enough to find time to do it. So do you really want to succeed or are you just fooling around?

    30. I have no idea where or how to start.

    Answer: No problem, let me guide you step by step with our new distributor orientation training system and quick start checklist.

    * By this time, your company or your organizations training system should have a simple step by step checklist or training guide that you can use to duplicate your new downline to get started.

    So there you have it!

    The 30 most common questions, answers and rejections in MLM or Network Marketing.

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    Source by Dennis Bay

    Views: 0