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  • An Insight Into Multi-Level Marketing/Network Marketing Techniques

    An Insight Into Multi-Level Marketing/Network Marketing Techniques

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    You have reached the perfect place to discover how to be successful with Network Marketing or Multilevel marketing. Most people who embark on a new challenge struggle at first but for the Network Marketing beginner, he’s not an exception. It might seem complicated and sometimes a fearful path to pursue, nevertheless take advantage of the following Network Marketing strategies and run with it.

    Success Tip 1: Manage “YOU” and “YOUR” Expectations.

    You are answerable for the success or failure of your own unique network marketing business! This is usually a huge one, simply because the overwhelming majority of completely new as well as skilled network marketers pin the blame on absolutely everyone but themselves with regard to things that fail. But in fact, whatever happens to you, in business and also in your personal life is a direct result of choices you made.. You, and you alone are accountable for your business.

    Manage your expectations and be accountable to yourself!

    Success Tip 2: Set Goals.

    We understand you need to generate income in your network marketing business, but HOW do you plan to generate such income?? It’s essential to set desired goals that may be Short, Medium or Long Term. Set S.M.A.R.T. goals for that HOW. Your S.M.A.R.T.goals ought to be

    • S-pecific

    • M-easurable

    • A-chievable

    • R-ealistic

    • T-imely.

    Evaluate these goals regularly and as soon as you meet them, raise the bar.

    Success Tip 3: Keep Learning!

    Cultivate your mind by getting informed through quality publications, CDs, network marketing business video tutorials in the first couple of months right after starting a new network marketing business. This might look like a time waster to many beginners since they’re thrilled to generate income immediately and it must be right now! It often doesn’t work like that.

    When l began my network marketing business, I put away a specific percentage of my earnings to get resources regarding how to take my business one stage further. I learnt a whole lot (and still learning) on how to offer value to my clients. These are individuals who bring the cash. Begin to see the link?

    Success Tip 4: Efficient Use of Your Time And Effort.

    Be extremely organized particularly if you intend to continue working while starting your business. You’ll want to become a personal time management pro to offer your best to each side. Remember that you might want to allocate more time to your start-up business since your start-up business is similar to a newborn – it requires nurturing, focus, care and time.

    Create time daily to work on your new business. Make use of the audio system in your car by listening to CDs or tapes if you are driving. Get a good mp3 player and plug-in some great informative content while taking a stroll or you’re at lunch or cleaning the house. The more effective time spent on your business, the quicker you’ll make it grow.

    Success Tip 5: Be patient!

    The journey of a 1,000 miles begins with one step. And you have started your journey. On this journey you’ll need loads of patience. In business the truth is most start-ups consider it a huge success if they can make money soon after they start business.. So, what makes you believe the income will begin rolling in after a few days, or even months? Building a solid business needs time, effort, and lots of patience.

    Likewise note that you need to be prepared for the rough patches because there will be loads! When those times come, it’s not the time to pull the plug but time to remember that success is a process. Every positive step you take brings you closer to your goals. Therefore keep doing the “right” things, persevere and be patient!

    Success Tip 6: Expect to get out of your comfort zone.

    When a baby starts to learn to walk, he or she finds it uncomfortable at first but as soon as he gains self-confidence and steps out of the world of crawling, he or she makes his / her first step and others follow afterwards. It’s similar in the business world. You’ll be learning new and different ways of expressing yourself. You will need to meet, talk and connect with people.

    No one ever made it big in network marketing by hiding behind their computer screen. You may very well feel uncomfortable trying new things that you may or may not be good at. The important thing there is TRY. Try new things.

    Learn from your mistakes and celebrate success when it happens and it will happen; because you have earned it!

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    Source by Nkem Bamgbose

    Views: 0

  • Loving Yourself Can Heal Fear

    Loving Yourself Can Heal Fear

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    "I believe that anyone can conquer fear by doing the things he fears to do, provided he keeps doing them until he gets a record of successful experiences behind him." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

    I know from my own experiences that what Eleanor Roosevelt said in the above quote is very true.

    • I used to be scared to speak up for myself or speak my truth, and now I do it easily.
    • I used to be afraid of public speaking or doing radio or TV shows, and now I do these easily.
    • I used to be scared to be in my power, and now it's natural for me.
    • I used to be afraid of confrontation and conflict, and now I welcome these experiences in order to learn from them.
    • I used to be scared that if I opened to learning with my higher guidance, there would be nothing there, and now I know that I'm never alone and am always being guided.
    • I used to be afraid of my deeper painful feelings, and now I embrace them with love and compassion and allow them to move through me. I now know that I can lovingly manage them and that they won't overwhelm me.
    • I used to be afraid to write, and now writing flows easily.

    We can't talk ourselves out of fear, which is what our ego wounded-self tries to do. When we choose to operate as a loving adult with a strong motivation to love ourselves, then we don't put our inner child out there alone to do something we are afraid of doing.

    For example, when I first started public speaking and teaching – before Spirit brought us inner work – I was very scared of not knowing what to say or of forgetting what I wanted to say. I was scared that I would get so nervous that I wouldn't be able to talk. After I started to practice inner work, I realized that I had been putting my inner child out there to do the teaching. Of course she was scared! It was not a job for my inner child!

    Now, before I speak or teach or do a radio or TV show, I make sure to tell my inner child that this isn't her job – that it's the job of my loving adult allowing my higher self to speak through me. Instead of trying to control what I say, I surrender to my higher guidance and allow her to be the speaker and teacher.

    After doing this many times, the fear went away.

    Healing Fear Through Loving Yourself

    The more my inner child knows that I am here loving myself through fear, the safer she feels with things that used to feel very scary. Healing fear through loving myself means:

    • Consistently showing up as a loving adult so that my inner child doesn't feel alone with scary things.
    • Being willing to do the scary things over and over until the positive experiences become part of my neural pathways.
    • Letting my inner child know that it's okay to make mistakes and to fail, and that my worth and lovability are not attached to outcomes.
    • Valuing my willingness to try new and scary things so that my inner child feels valued for the effort rather than for the outcome.
    • Being compassionate rather than critical with my feelings when things don't turn out the way I want.
    • Letting go of having to know ahead of time whether or not something is best for me and being willing to trust what I want and the information I receive from my guidance regarding what is in my highest good – willing to go with the flow of life rather than trying to control it.

    I encourage you to start doing what you want to do rather than allowing fear to stop you, and see what happens!

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    Source by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

    Views: 0

  • Love Bombing: Are Some People Easy Targets For ‘Love Bombers’?

    Love Bombing: Are Some People Easy Targets For ‘Love Bombers’?

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    If one was single and they were to meet someone who showed a lot of interest in them, they could find that they end up being drawn to them. And what might also play a part here is that one may be physically attracted to them.

    Through being in this person’s presence, one could start to experience a lot of positive feelings. In a way, it could be as if this person is a breath of fresh air; with them being someone who has come into their life to make it better.

    A Fast Build Up

    After the first encounter, it might not be long until the other person is acting in a ways or talking about things that wouldn’t usually take place or be mentioned for quite some time. It will be clear that the other person doesn’t want to take their time and to allow everything to develop organically.

    It will be like starting in first gear and going straight into the last gear; instead of starting in first and gradually moving through each gear. At this point, one could have put their thinking brain to one side and be completely caught up in what is going on.

    For Example

    So after one has had their first encounter with this person, their phone could constantly go off. This can be a time when this person will message and call them, telling them how much they like them, how special they are and the type of things that they want to do with them, for instance.

    This person could also say that they should move in together and go into what their future will be like. Additionally, one may find that this person sends them gifts while they are at work and they could come across love notes and letters from them.

    The Next Stage

    After they have seen each other a few times or only known each other for a matter of weeks, the other person could ask them if they are now in a relationship. They could even go one step further than this by talking about how much they love them.

    And if they do end up moving in together after such a short period of time, one could spend even less time with others. In fact, ones whole life could end up revolving around their partner – someone they have only just met.

    On Top Of the World

    At this point one could feel as though they are on cloud nine, with them basking in positive feelings and the loving behaviour of their partner. Nonetheless, it might not be long until their partner starts to change.

    Now that this person has pulled one in, they could end up trying to control how they live their life. If one doesn’t do what they want, they might find that their partner leaves or that it is not possible to get hold of them.

    Hot and Cold

    This person will have done everything that they could to warm them up in the beginning and, how that they have them in the palm of their hands, so to speak, they will take advantage of them. Due to their fear of losing their partner and being rejected and/or abandoned, one can have the need to do whatever their partner wants them to do.

    If this means no longer seeing their friends and family, putting their interests to one side and/or neglecting their own health, for instance, they will do it to try to regain their ‘love’. Ultimately, one will have become hooked on their partner’s attention or the dopamine that they trigger inside them, which is why they won’t feel good when their attention is no longer there.

    Drawing the Line

    One could then do what their partner wants and before long, they could pull away again. They might turn up in a few days or it could be a number of months before they reappear.

    Clearly, having this person in their life is not doing them any good, and the sooner they cut their ties with them the better. There are a number of things that they can do to gradually get back on their feet and to regain their energy.

    A Few Steps

    Firstly, it will be a good idea for one to no longer speak to this person in person, over a screen, or over the phone. If this person won’t accept this, one may need to get in touch with the police.

    Secondly, it will be good for them to get back in touch with family and friends, so that they can go over what took place and gain their support. Thirdly, taking time to do what they enjoy will make it easier for them to take their mind of this person, and, fourthly, they may need to reach out for the assistance of a therapist or a healer, for instance.

    Stepping Back

    It could be said that just about anyone could be love bombed, yet there are going to be things that will make one more susceptible to this type of behaviour. And if one has gone through this experience on more than one occasion, it is likely to show they need to take a deeper look into why this keeps taking place.

    However, this is not about one blaming or shaming themselves for what has taken place; it is simply about them taking a step back and looking into what they might need to do to prevent this from taking place again. This is about awareness as if one can see that there is a reason why this keeps taking place; they can do something about it.

    A Closer Look

    If they were to do this, what might become clear is that they don’t feel good about themselves. Therefore, as soon as someone comes along and gives them so much positive feedback, they drink it all up.

    Said another way, they are in a position where they desperately want someone to love them. Consciously or unconsciously, a love bomber realises this and ends up exploiting their weakness.

    An Easy Target

    If one did value themselves, they wouldn’t need as much from another person, and this would enable them to be more discerning when it comes to who they allow into their life. And as opposed to feeling good when another person comes on strong right at the start, they might end up feeling as though something isn’t right.

    They might realise that as this person knows very little about them, it probably shows that they are trying to manipulate them. The love that they have for themselves will also allow them to have strong boundaries.

    Additional Points

    Furthermore, through valuing who they are, they would most likely have a number of close friends who they can share their life with. These people would then be there to give them feedback and to support them.

    Another part of this is that one would also do things that they enjoy and this would strengthen them and fill their life with meaning. They would value themselves enough not to neglect themselves.

    The Reason

    If one was to find that they don’t value themselves, it could show that their early years were not very nurturing. This may have been a time in their life when they were abused and/or neglected.

    Thanks to how they were treated, they would have come to believe that they were worthless and they may carry the pain of being rejected and abandoned. Being treated badly is then going to be something that feels comfortable at a deeper level.

    Awareness

    If one can relate to this, and they want to embrace their inherent value, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

    ​

    There will be the negative beliefs that that they need to question and replace, and there will be the emotional wounds that they need to heal. The main thing is that one does what they need to do and doesn’t give up on themselves.

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    Source by Oliver JR Cooper

    Views: 0

  • Tips to Help You Put Together an Effective B2B Sales Strategy

    Tips to Help You Put Together an Effective B2B Sales Strategy

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    If you are a B2B business owner, make sure you reevaluate your sales strategy from time to time. Since this is the age of the Internet, product / service related information is easily available to B2B buyers. Given below are a few tips and tricks that can help you put together a solid sales strategy.

    Research your Customers

    First off, you may want to call your prospective leads right away. Actually, you should give them some time to do their homework before you ask your sales reps to contact them. You can take a look at their sites and then follow them on major social media websites, which will give you a pretty good idea of ​​which leads you should target.

    Train your Sales Reps

    Also, make sure your sales representatives have good knowledge of your products and services. In other words, they should have solid know-how of the features and functions of your products. With this knowledge, your sales reps can find it easier to convince your customers.

    Ask Questions

    Once you have done your research, you can give a call to the qualified leads. The idea is to find out more information about them and the problems they have been facing. For the resolution of their problems, you can recommend your products or services.

    Listen More

    Make sure you can communicate well with your target customers. Learn to listen to them and then present your services as a solution to their problems.

    Here, it's important to keep in mind that an effective sales strategy should revolve around the customers instead of your products alone.

    Have a Consultative Approach

    If you want to grow your B2B sales, make sure you have something to give to your customers. For instance, you can provide good advice and general tips that can help your customers grow their business using what you offer. You can even recommend good online courses, blogs, and books.

    Develop Relationships

    If you have some customers who show some interest in your offers, don't push them to sign a deal. Instead, give them enough time to think about the deal. Offering a free of charge demo is also a great idea.

    Remember: developing a strong business relationship is a lot more important than the deal. What you need to do is work on building a strong reputation as an honest business advisor.

    Have a Customer-Oriented Approach

    As far as a B2B sales strategy is concerned, it's important to show empathy towards your customers. The more you do it, the better. Also, make sure your teams communicate with each other to find out more about what your customers want. This will help your teams get equipped with more knowledge.

    In the same way, make sure your sales team knows everything about what they want to sell. Ideally, they should have the industry knowledge as well. So, you may want to train them to keep your customers delighted.

    Long story short, if you use these strategies, you can attract a lot of B2B customers, which will grow your business at the end of the day.

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    Source by Shalini M

    Views: 0

  • Dislocations – When There Is No Doctor

    Dislocations – When There Is No Doctor

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    The bones that form a joint are normally congruous and in apposition to each other. When this relationship is altered due to injury, it leads to a separation of these bones, called a dislocation.

    What you shouldn’t do is as important as what you should when someone has suffered a dislocation. Let’s discuss how to recognize when bones have gone astray, and the correct way to handle such an emergency.

    A fracture is often mistaken for a dislocation especially if it occurs near a joint, such as the upper end of the thighbone (femur) which is near the hip joint, or the upper end of the arm bone (humerus) which is near the shoulder joint. What distinguishes the two is that a fracture is a break in the continuity of any one bone.

    The elderly are more susceptible to dislocations because, with age, the muscles and ligaments that form the support system around the joints lose their tone, weakening their hold over the joints.

    Other susceptible groups, especially for shoulder dislocation, are those involved in active sports like gymnastics and cricket (bowling and fielding).

    SHOULDER DISLOCATION

    This is the commonest site of dislocation because the socket of the shoulder joint is shallow compared to the other ball-and-socket joint – the hip, which is deeper and hence more stable. The cause is usually an injury, typically when, during a fall, the person lands on his outstretched hand (thus throwing his entire body weight on it) and the rest of his body is thrown backwards.

    Symptoms:

    • When the two shoulders are compared, the affected one will appear flatter (the normal shoulder has a rounded outline) because the ball has shifted out its place.
    • There will be pain and swelling around the area, and the person will be unable to move the affected arm.

    First Aid:

    DO NOT

    • attempt to click the joint into place, especially if you are not trained in this, and the dislocation has occurred for the first time. In fact, do not even move the arm; let the person hold it in the position he finds most comfortable.
    • give anything by way of mouth, including a pain-killer (even if the person is yelling for it), in case anaesthesia is to be later administered at the hospital.

    WHAT TO DO:

    Your priority should be to transport the person to a hospital urgently. Sometimes if the circumflex nerve at the shoulder joint is injured, it could lead to paralysis of the deltoid muscles (of the shoulder), leading to an inability to raise the arm.

    If time permits (while transport is being arranged) the affected hand could be supported by a cuff-and-collar sling, i.e. a bandage gauze going around the neck and the wrist, or by a triangular sling.

    (At the hospital after an x-ray is taken, the bone will be set into position, very often under general anaesthesia.)

    Recurrent dislocations of the shoulder, in which the shoulder keeps getting dislocated as a result of trivial injury or even an action which involves raising the arm above the shoulder are common. The reason is a tear in the tissue surrounding the joint which becomes a weak area through which the bone comes out easily.

    As the frequency of such dislocations increases, the pain reduces to the point, where the person learns to click hi shoulder back into place without much ado.

    HIP DISLOCATIONS

    The hip joint has a deeper socket compared to the shoulder joint and has the body’s strongest ligaments surrounding it, which is why it is inherently a very stable joint. But it may dislocate as a result of a high-velocity vehicular accident. If a person sits in the front seat of a vehicle with his legs crossed at the knee, when the dashboard hits against the knee, the force is transmitted from the knee along the thighbone to the hip joint which usually dislocates the hip joint.

    Symptoms:

    • Severe pain in the area; the person will not be able to stand on the affected leg.
    • The leg will appear flexed (bent) at the knee and hip.
    • The limb may also appear shortened.

    First Aid:

    DO NOT:

    • attempt to click the joint into place or to move the leg in any way.
    • give the person anything to eat or drink in case he is required to be given anaesthesia later.

    WHAT TO DO:

    Immediately arrange to transport the person, lying on his back and preferably in an ambulance. If treatment is delayed and the surrounding blood vessels are disrupted, the blood supply to the ball of the hip joint may be permanently cut off, leading to early wear-and-tear of the hip joint and arthritis of the hip. If the dislocation is associated with an injury to the sciatic nerve which is in close proximity to the hip it could lead to a paralysis of the foot muscles or a foot-drop. (At the hospital, under general anaesthesia, the hip will be manipulated into position or surgery may be required.)

    Usually a hip dislocation is non-recurrent except in the case of an associated fracture of the socket. (In this case, to prevent re-dislocation, the fractured socket has to be reconstructed by surgery.)

    SPINAL DISLOCATIONS

    As a result of injury, the spine could dislocate either at the cervix (back of the neck) or in the dorso-lumbar area (the junction of the middle and lower back). It may or may not be associated with neurological deficit (paralysis).

    Symptoms:

    • Severe pain in the area.
    • If there is paralysis, there may be reduced sensation or a lack of sensation below the point of injury.
    • If the body is paralysed below the level of injury there will be a loss of bladder and bowel movement.

    First Aid:

    DO NOT

    • delay transportation in any way.
    • impart any movement to the spine.

    WHAT TO DO

    As soon as possible, rush the person to the hospital in the position that he is lying, as a change of position could worsen his condition. In the event of paralysis below the point of injury, early treatment plays a crucial role in ultimate recovery.

    OTHER DISLOCATIONS

    Other superficial dislocations include those of the elbow joint, finger joints and ankle joints.

    Symptoms:

    Pain, swelling and an inability to move the affected joints.

    First Aid:

    DO NOT

    • attempt to click the joint into place, however easy it may seem, as an injury to a nearby nerve or blood vessel during the process could bring on long-lasting complications or could produce a fracture of a nearby bone which was not initially present.

    WHAT TO DO

    The elbow joint may be placed in a triangular sling to provide support to it till the person can be taken to hospital.

    In case of an ankle dislocation, the victim should not be made to walk or to exert any pressure on the affected leg. He should be carried to the transport and, later, from the vehicle to the hospital.

    Finger joint dislocations may appear minor but they too need the attention of an orthopaedic surgeon who will usually click them into place under local anaesthesia. However, if there are complications involved, surgery may be required.

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    Source by Andy G

    Views: 0

  • "Negotiator – Embrace Right Buy-In – Cure Stupid Hidden Disasters" – Negotiation Tip of the Week

    "Negotiator – Embrace Right Buy-In – Cure Stupid Hidden Disasters" – Negotiation Tip of the Week

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    A good negotiator knows, when you embrace the right buy-in, you cure hidden disasters before they can occur.

    For almost a year, they secretly planned the rollout. They touted it as a facelift that would change the name and position of the association. Doing so would give it a fresh look and appearance for the 21st century. But when the rollout occurred, the backlash was severe. All the money, time, expenses, and efforts that went into the new face of the association went down a drain of despair. The question that buzzed throughout the association was, how could this have happened? The response was when you embrace the right buy-in, you stop hidden disasters. And this disaster was easily avoidable.

    First, as a negotiator, what do you think went wrong? What buy-in do you seek when thinking about the obstacles you might face in your negotiations? To the degree you obtain the right buy-in, you have a better chance for a successful outcome. To the degree you get the right buy-in at the right time, your chances of a successful outcome increases substantially.

    Problem:

    Secrecy – In the opening situation, the president of that association assembled a team of prominent members – all were members of the association. Their expertise stretched across the spectrum of branding, marketing, and social media. None were members of the vanguard that had watched over the association for decades. And the omittance of that group’s input was a silent blinking red light that foretold the death of the project.

    Negotiating in secret environments can be beneficial. It can prevent unwanted distractions from slowing the progress of the negotiation. It also serves to gather the buy-in of stakeholders that might torpedo the negotiation. Thus, secrecy can be a form of control – it can also be the deliverer of disaster if not used right.

    Forgotten power players – The name of the association had stood for four decades. And some of the revered founding members were still active in the association. When the new name was revealed, that vanguard was the catalyst that caused the committee’s efforts, and the new name, to meet a swift death. Had the committee consulted this vanguard, the committee would have known its efforts were doomed. They could have avoided a hidden disaster.

    Consideration:

    Had the committee charged with creating a new name involved the vanguard of the association and brought them along during the planning stage, at minimum, the new name would have stood a greater chance of becoming implemented successfully. At worse, the committee would have known that the new name was in trouble. Losses could have been averted at an earlier point and resources could have been spared.

    The challenge a negotiator faces when employing secrecy is making sure the right people are involved. If they’re not involved, hidden disasters may lie in wait.

    Always take into consideration who might be involved in a negotiation even if they’re not physically or visually involved in it. Seek those individuals that might have a stake in the outcome of the negotiation no matter how small you think their stake might be. There’ll be times when you won’t know the power source behind some people’s means – that’s something else to consider. There’ll also be times when smaller stakeholders will combine forces, which will present a more powerful force for you to contend with.

    Conclusion:

    Getting the right buy-in is a vital component of every negotiation – even when it’s just you and the other negotiator. Doing so when you have multiple participants is even more vital to the negotiation’s success. Therefore, when you assess the impact of the buy-in component during your negotiation planning stage, consider its impact thoroughly… and everything will be right with the world.

    Remember, you’re always negotiating!

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    Source by Greg Williams

    Views: 0

  • Secrets to A Winning Mindset

    Secrets to A Winning Mindset

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    To succeed in life requires a lot of courage because there is almost

    nothing in this world that is 100% risk-free. Winning or losing comes

    from the mind that is why a winning mindset is crucial to achieving

    set goals irrespective of the difficulties or challenges encountered.

    No matter how small your goals are or how lofty your dreams may be,

    you cannot achieve much without a winning mindset, which is the force

    that generates the power and enthusiasm that drives you.

    When you see successful people, they not only have a winning attitude

    but also possess the winning mindset. Giving up is not among the

    traits of winners and following through to the end is never the habit

    of losers. To get to the pinnacle of success, you must have a winning

    mindset that results from positive thinking and perspective to issues.

    Tips to Having a Winning Mindset

    Do you see successful people and wish to follow in their footsteps?

    Are you searching for ways to develop a positive mindset? Do you want

    to nurture your mind with the winning attitude? Here are the tips to

    help you have a winning mindset.

    1. Have an It-Is-Possible Belief

    There is a great connection between what you believe and the result

    you get from your efforts. The best way to start creating a winning

    mindset is to have a positive belief and be addicted to that thought.

    By having an ‘it-is-possible’ mindset, you are setting your mind above

    all limitations and obstacles on the path to achieving your goals.

    When this thought gets into your subconscious mind, it will become

    effortless to see possibility in having things go your way.

    2. Set Goals and Have a Detailed Plan

    Remember that every success has an equal chance of failure. As a

    result, do not attempt anything without setting a goal and creating a

    detailed plan to achieve your goal. Identify factors that could cause

    your failure and plug every necessary hole and take advantage of the

    factors that can drive your goals to success. Be meticulous in planning.

    3. Spare No Efforts / Never Think About Quitting

    To have a winning mindset, be ready to go all out and leave no stone

    unturned. Do not spare any efforts and you must be prepared to see

    your goals achieved regardless of how long you need to labor or how

    much pain you must endure. You must not think of quitting – it is the

    habit of losers.

    4. Declare Your Anticipated Result to Yourself

    There is a strong force behind positive confession. Make a declaration

    (speak out) of the result you are expecting to yourself every time.

    Let this positive thought fill your head then get into your heart; let

    it take over your mind and finally get into your subconscious mind.

    Doing this will embolden you with positive energies and a winning

    mindset that will push you beyond your limit to achieve your dream or

    set goals.

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    Source by Carl Mathis

    Views: 0

  • The Clearest Sign of Mental Health

    The Clearest Sign of Mental Health

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    Am I mentally ill, could be the question? Every healthy person learns to ask such a question, as is the paradox that is health and ill-health.

    Now, let’s be crystal clear about what this paradox is about. Let me use myself as an example. The times I have been most unhealthy mentally, emotionally, spiritually, I have lacked something very important – something critical for health. I lacked the capacity to see that I wasn’t healthy, and perhaps others knew it. I’m sure they did. I may have suspected something was wrong, but I would not at that time be able to pinpoint it. Eventually I might, and when I did, I would be on the cusp of recovery.

    What is the clearest sign of mental health?

    Insight.

    It’s like being in mental health inpatient facility. The main indicator psychiatrists are looking for. Can the person perceive reality? Are they delusional? Is there grandeur? Of course, the purpose for admitting people to these hospitals is to give them time and treatment to come back to reality – to receive insight.

    It’s a scary individual that does not have insight. Yet, the narcissist is one who seems fine – until you get close to them – but has a major lack of insight. They cannot see a single fault within themselves. And they may only ultimately agree they have something to change when they see there is some advantage coming to them for appearing humble.

    Now, this is dangerous; to see yourself as unequivocally superior to others is bad for everyone. You cannot be corrected when you need to be, and others are not acknowledged for the goodness and attributes they have.

    The person who has insight, however, sees the faults inside themselves, and they have copious humility to be able to see the wrong, the error, the mistakes they make; that we all make from time to time. They’re not fearful of exposure because they see what is wrong and they see that it is straightforward to attend to it and fix it.

    There’s the paradox in all its glory: the one who thinks they’re perfect is unimaginably dangerously imperfect, because they cannot see their fault, yet the one who sees their imperfections might as well be perfect, for human intents and purposes.

    If you want to know if you’re healthy, do you have the capacity for honesty?

    Can you see what you need to be able to see? Not just for yourself, but for others, too.

    Now, we can see that there are maladies of anxiety and depression that express themselves in many ways, but do not manifest in a lack of honesty. Comparatively, mental health is less of an issue, even if there is a lot of pain the person must wrestle with. This is not to say that their mental ill-health is any less important. Indeed, many times people can suffer mental ill-health because someone close to them has had narcissistic impact on them.

    People who suffer depression and anxiety can often still have good relationships. Even with comparative mental ill-health they may often operate in such a way that others are benefactors relationally. They may often find ways of loving well despite what they suffer, which is an incredibly inspiring reality.

    We see here that good mental health is not just about the struggles we have living our lives; it’s also how we treat other people. A mental health that impacts negatively on other people is of grave concern, because of how people can be damaged. Of course, there is, on the other hand, also the matter of how suicide damages those left behind. That can never be understated.

    Or, perhaps we can see it this way: the person who may have no pain but has troubled relationships, and indeed may appear to be happy, even powerful, may be more mentally ill than the person who endures much pain but who serves and loves others to the end of good relationships.

    The person who consistently puts others first has better mental health ultimately than the person who has no interest in or capacity for others.

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    Source by Steve Wickham

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  • My Separated Husband Claims To Being Open To A Gradual, Slow Reconciliation. Should I Believe Him?

    My Separated Husband Claims To Being Open To A Gradual, Slow Reconciliation. Should I Believe Him?

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    I sometimes hear from wives who could have been my past self. The reason for this is that they are separated and somewhat desperate to reconcile and save their marriages. I typically have a very good idea of how they feel because I have been there. I know that when you are separated, there is little else that you think about, other than a reconciliation. You want the reconciliation to happen today – or tomorrow at the very latest. Unfortunately, our husbands don’t always feel the same way. In fact, they are usually the one who wanted the separation in the first place, so they may be very noncommittal when you attempt to talk about a reconciliation. However, it can be hard not to become hopeful when you make start to make progress and you feel like you are connecting again. Understandably, the improvement process can make you anxious to begin to inch toward a reconciliation. But your husband may bristle at this idea. And some husbands even back away from you a little, because they don’t want to be rushed. This can leave the wife feeling a bit stuck. Because she loves her husband and she wants to reconcile, she might be willing to move at his pace. But she can worry about his sincerity.

    She might say, “I have been separated for over three months. In the beginning, I was nearly certain that a divorce was in my future. But over the last month, things have slowly started to improve. My husband has been coming over regularly to eat dinner with my son. After we put him to bed, we have been talking for hours. We have had some great talks. I have started to feel a little bit of hope that we might reconcile and I finally got up my courage to ask my husband about this. He said that he is not opposed to reconciling one day, but he insists that it is going to have to be a very gradual process because he isn’t ready to commit to anything. He said that we are both still figuring things out. I admit that I was disappointed and I wondered if perhaps he was saying this just to get me to back off. My girlfriend said that she would have her doubts too and that I shouldn’t put my heart into this until I get a commitment. I am torn. It’s not like my husband is asking anything of me. We aren’t sleeping together. So it’s not like lying to me is really to his benefit. At the same time, I don’t want to get my heart broken. Is it an awful sign that he wants to move slowly?”

    Why A Gradual Reconciliation Can Have Advantages: I know why this hurts. You think that he’s just trying delay hurting you and it is scary to get your hopes up. However, I can tell you that even when my husband and I were doing really well as a couple at the tail end of our separation, we both made the conscious decision to take it slowly. It was very hard for me. Because I wanted an immediate reconciliation. But I also knew that I didn’t want to fail and to have to get a divorce. I fully realized that our relationship was still fragile. I also knew that when I tried to pressure or rush my husband, he had a tendency to retreat. So I didn’t want to do anything to make him uncomfortable. I knew that I was probably going to get one chance at this reconciliation thing and I did not want to do anything at all to jeopardize it.

    What did help was that, like you, we were making some progress. So when I would get impatient, I would tell myself to contrast the weeks that we went not talking with the fact that we were regularly seeing one another, getting along, and enjoying ourselves. This was just not worth risking by rushing it. I understand your dread about your husband just trying to gain some time. But look at it this way: As long as you continue to make progress, why would he want to prolong the separation? As long as each day is a little better than the last, hopefully, you will both be more optimistic about the future. Why would he want to turn his back on that?

    I know that moving at a gradual pace requires more trust. But, trust is a skill that will enhance your marriage anyway. One positive of gradual movement is that it allows you to make little tweaks along the way. You’re not in a situation where it is all or nothing. When you hit a speed bump, you adjust. When things go well, you might accelerate a bit. But you have the flexibility to do so because no one is any huge hurry and no one needs to move out again when things feel rushed. When you reconcile gradually, there isn’t so much pressure when he moves back in because you’ve already encountered many of the issues that may crop up and you have already fixed them. Therefore, your reconciliation has a much higher chance of success. That is why it is important to keep your eye on the real prize.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

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  • My Wife Thinks I’m Immature! What Steps Can Help Change This

    My Wife Thinks I’m Immature! What Steps Can Help Change This

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    Your wife tells you that you’re immature. Perhaps you agree with her, or maybe you think she’s way off base. Regardless of your stance on the issue, she’s clear on hers. It’s hurtful knowing that the woman you’ve chosen to spend your life with sees you as nothing more than a child in a man’s clothing. Her comments sting, her attitude overshadows all the great things you do and you’re getting tired of trying to please her when you truly believe you’re fine exactly as you are, right?

    There’s a very specific dynamic that dominates a marriage when the wife views her husband as immature. She’ll tend to take the reins on everything from major decision making to raising the children. Over time, a man in a relationship like this will start to feel as though his opinion and contributions aren’t welcomed or embraced. Once a marriage hits this bump in the road, it can be difficult to get it back on a loving and mutually respectful path.

    Talk to Your Wife About Your Concerns

    Before you can work on changing how your wife views you, you must get to the root of why she holds the opinion of you that she does. In some marriages, it’s obvious in that the husband refuses to take on the necessary responsibility that a married partner must carry. This may manifest itself in a man who hasn’t chosen a career path yet even though he’s been out of college for a decade, or it can be a man who insists on splurging on things that the couple can’t afford.

    If you’re unsure why your wife continually views you as immature, ask her. You must be prepared to hear some difficult things about yourself. In fact, when you ask your wife about how she sees your behavior, this may actually open the floodgates and she’ll pour out every criticism she has of you.

    View this as a step in a positive direction. Try not to become defensive. Instead, absorb it as a tool for change and a means towards a closer, more enriching marriage.

    Do Things Within Your Marriage That Command Respect

    If someone views you as immature it may be a sign that they simply have little or no respect for you. In the case of a married couple, this can stem from any number of circumstances but it’s generally something that can be rectified.

    Commanding respect may feel like an ominous task, particularly in the case of a man who wants his wife to show him more respect. But it’s often your own view of yourself that others will follow. For instance, if you don’t take care of yourself physically or emotionally, your wife may start to believe that you don’t value yourself. In turn, she’ll begin to devalue you as well which can result in her seeing you as someone who isn’t on the same level as she is.

    Working on improving yourself is a simple way to garner more respect from your wife. Take stock of where your life is compared to where you want it to be at this point. Perhaps you believed that you’d be running your own company by the age of thirty, or maybe you envisioned yourself a successful investor by the time you entered your forties. Whatever your life goals have been now is the time to redefine them and start making them a reality.

    When a person invests more energy, care and time in themselves, others follow that lead. That’s why you must start putting more effort into becoming the man you know you’re capable of. You can show your wife, through dedicated actions, that you aren’t the immature boy that she believes she marries. Instead, begin showing her that you are indeed a focused and mature man who now sees the potential within himself.

    Don’t Try and Hurt Your Wife in Retaliation for Her Criticism

    When a person we love hurts us verbally there’s a very strong temptation to throw something just as hurtful back in their direction. You may have already done this with your wife when she referred to you as immature. If you have, ensure that it’s the last time it happens.

    If you fall to the same level of your wife and throw hurtful words in her direction, you are showing her that you are the definition of immature. You are, in fact, proving her own point for her. Children like to engage in hurtful banter that often results in one person being so stung that the relationship will never be the same. It’s much worse when it’s married adults who are engaging in this type of destruction behavior.

    The next time your wife tells you that she thinks you are immature, you need to respond in a very specific way. Look her straight in the eye and calmly say, “you are entitled to your opinion, but I disagree.” Then end the conversation by leaving the room or saying goodbye if it’s via telephone. Don’t engage her a moment longer because if you do you will be tempted to say things that will escalate the situation until you both are hurt.

    If you repeatedly handle the situation with this type of dignity and grace your wife will soon realize that her words are hollow. You’ll be showing her that you are indeed mature, calm and reasonable.

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    Source by Gillian Reynolds

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