Tag: Temporary

  • I’m Hoping That My Marital Separation Will Only Be Temporary. How Do I Communicate With My Spouse?

    I’m Hoping That My Marital Separation Will Only Be Temporary. How Do I Communicate With My Spouse?

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    Many people are understandably confused about how they should communicate with their separated spouse, especially when they are hoping that the break is going to be only temporary. Some have people advising them that it’s better to speak only sparingly, while their heart might be telling them that they want to keep in constant communication.

    Someone might ask, “how are you supposed to keep in touch with a separated spouse? I’m hopeful that we will not be separated for very long, but I don’t know that for sure. My husband did make a point of getting a week to week place rather than signing a lease, so that does offer me a bit of encouragement. Still, things are not really all that great between us. We don’t fight horribly or anything, but we just seem to misunderstand one another all of the time, so things are tense and chilly. I am used to talking to my husband multiple times per day, but I don’t know how to proceed now. Some of my friends tell me that I need to follow the ‘no contact’ rule, but I don’t like the sound of that. I want to know that my husband is okay and I’d hope that he’d feel the same about me. Still, it would feel awkward calling and have him not sound like he is happy to hear from me. So I am not sure how I should be communicating and how often. What do most couples do about this?”

    It truly does depend on the couple and on the state of the marriage. In my experience, it greatly helps to try to agree on the agree that you’ll talk on certain nights and see one another at regular times, this is ideal. It allows you to check in regularly. Plus, literally seeing one another allows you to still be invested in each other’s lives.

    I know that this might seem like overkill, but too many couples leave this to chance and then some time goes by and then it’s suddenly awkward and weird to call. People also tend to assume the worst of each other when they aren’t in regular communication. So if your spouse is receptive to regular communication, I’ve found that this is best.

    With this said, sometimes one of the spouses doesn’t want excessive contact initially, especially when things are volatile. In this instance, texting can be better than nothing. That allows you to check in and let your spouse know that you are thinking of him, while it’s not as intrusive as calling so that he has to pick up.

    To be honest, I see “no contact” going wrong more than I see it being helpful. Often, with “no contact” the couple just drifts further and further away and assumes the worst of one another. The only time that I’ve seen “no contact” work is when one spouse is blatantly rejecting the other so much that communication is only possible when the rejected spouse is doing all of the heavy lifting. I had to do a variation on this, but I wouldn’t call what I did “no contact.” My husband got very tired of me always asking how he felt and what he wanted. When he wouldn’t answer me, I’d just keep calling and texting. He eventually shut down. It got to where I really had no choice but to back off. I went out of town. I told him that I was going and that I was available if he wanted to talk. I checked in every once in a while. So this wasn’t traditional “no contact,” where I completely went silent. I just toned down the communication on my end because it had become too much. But I made it clear that he could reach out to me at any time. And he eventually did. So it was to my benefit to tone down what my husband perceived as overbearing behavior. However, I would never have given my husband the perception that I didn’t want to talk to him and wasn’t available.

    Ideally, it’s best to have open and regular communication in a way that feels comfortable to both spouses. You may prefer phone conversations. Your husband might prefer texting. You might want to actually see each other at regular intervals. Whatever works for you is okay. But in my experience, it’s best to remain in contact if you can make that work. It’s so easy to not check in and then before long, you’ll find that things have deteriorated even further. You’ll worry that your spouse is seeing other people or avoiding you. These things are avoidable if you communicate, but I realize that not everyone has that luxury. Sometimes, a text might be all that you get. But at least you know that your spouse is okay and is checking in. I tried to tell myself that my goal for each communication was to make it so that my husband was open and receptive the next time that we communicated. When you leave things on a positive note, then it’s more likely to be pleasant the next time. When you look at it this way, you are more likely to be in regular communication, which in my experience is the ideal way to go.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

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  • Drugs – An Ugly and Temporary Escape From Reality

    Drugs – An Ugly and Temporary Escape From Reality

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    People that use drugs to cope with life do so because of what the drugs do to them. Most drug addicts have experienced pain from something that has happened to them in the past and the drugs, for a short time, have made that pain go away. Once they realize that the drugs do in fact make them feel better is when the abuse begins to happen.

    Most drugs do a great job of taking reality out of the minds of the user. They feel free once the drugs begin to kick in. They don’t care about the past or anything of that pain that has haunted them and they feel invincible living in the moment. The only problem is that each time the addict does the drug, he or she needs to do even more of it to get to the same feeling.

    What drug abusers don’t understand is that the drugs don’t take away from the problem, they only add to it. The reality of life never goes away it is just masked and distorted due to the effect that the drugs have. In order to overcome this life full of pain and hurt is not to go to drugs for relief, but to deal with life head on. And this is what the drug rehab places do so well.

    Drug rehab centers are there to help the addict overcome their physical addiction to the drug or drugs. They then confine in the individual to learn that the drugs are in fact not their best escape but just a temporary release that compounds their own situation for the worst. True relief from the pain that haunts them is to see the past for what it really is, something that happened before and is now out of everyone’s control. Once they realize that they can’t change something that has happened, they can then learn to live life from this point on.

    The drug rehab centers goal is to educate the addict about their illness so they can understand how to control their mind and eventually learn to live a productive life. They hope to instill in them a confidence that any goal they set to achieve can be accomplished no matter what their situation was or where they came from.

    Drugs are in ugly escape from reality that gives the user an invincible feeling for a short amount of time. Drug addicts too can change but first have to become knowledgeable about their situation and then want to make the change.

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    Source by Wade Davis

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  • Losing Her Religion: Nigeria’s Faith Unveiled In The Face Of COVID-19 By R. Evon Benson-Idahosa

    Losing Her Religion: Nigeria’s Faith Unveiled In The Face Of COVID-19 By R. Evon Benson-Idahosa

    Me, circa 1984, in my choir uniform and what was possibly the now infamous tambourine.
    Me, circa 1984, in my choir uniform and what was possibly the now infamous tambourine.

    R. Evon Benson-Idahosa, Esq
    R. Evon Benson-Idahosa, Esq

    Losing Her Religion: Nigeria’s Faith Unveiled In The Face Of COVID-19 By R. Evon Benson-Idahosa 3R. Evon Benson-Idahosa, Esq


     

    I remember falling asleep at a Tuesday evening church service as a 9 year old child. I had a tambourine on my lap and as I fell to the floor, it reverberated thunderously throughout the hall, drawing the attention of everyone who had been attentively listening to the dynamic preacherman. I awakened to piercing stares and side eyes- particularly from my father- whose message I had disrupted. Every Nigerian child knows that stare, that glare that silently speaks a thousand words, cloaks you in debilitating fear and assures your quivering being that there will be consequences. Needless to say, it was a quiet ride home and for the rest of the revival week, I was ushered to the front row where I forced my eyes open, humming tunes to myself to stay awake.

    Losing Her Religion: Nigeria’s Faith Unveiled In The Face Of COVID-19 By R. Evon Benson-Idahosa 4Me, circa 1984, in my choir uniform and what was possibly the now infamous tambourine.


    Saying that I literally grew up in church would be an understatement. Week long revival services, such as the one I reference above, were customary. I was also in the choir, went to Sunday school before church services on Sunday, Agape Force Children’s meetings on Saturdays, mid-week services and the occasional 6:30 am morning prayer services, followed by our home bible study with Auntie B. And because my father was Archbishop Benson Idahosa, there were no negotiations. It just was.

    At the age of10, shortly after the infamous “tambourine experience,” the truth of those messages became real and I earnestly became a follower of The Way. And so, as news began to sweep the globe of the novel corona virus and its import, I found myself immediately turning to my faith as a source of comfort and peace. I also called my mother, who now heads CGMI, the global ministry my father left when he passed away 22 years ago. Her words of encouragement and the tone of her voice assured me that, as we like to say in Nigeria, ‘it is well.’

    And it will be.

    But for now, the pandemic continues to rage, as thousands succumb to its will. First China. Then South Korea. Japan. An epidemic. Then Italy, the UK, the US. Thousands upon thousands of cases were being reported and every day brought the reality closer to home. Then it became a global pandemic and as it stands, the WHO estimates that there are 719,700 confirmed cases globally, with almost 34,000 deaths.

    On February 28th, Nigeria, Africa’s most populous nation, confirmed its index case of the corona virus which arrived the country via an Italian businessman. As I write, her Centre for Disease Control is reporting a total of 135 confirmed cases and two deaths, having conducted just several hundred tests, even though thousands of passengers have arrived from varying countries since the index. Self isolation has been deemed an advisory, not mandatory measure.

    Nigeria has taken what some would consider drastic, yet in this writer’s opinion, insufficient and strikingly Western style measures to address what is likely to come in the absence of a miracle. In addition to finally closing her borders from international travelers, including Nigerians, schools have been shut down, civil servants are being asked to work from home, “social distancing” policies are being enacted and several states, including my home state of Edo, have prohibited religious, social and public gatherings of more than 20 persons.

    In a country where over 90% of her citizens profess to be religious, most Nigerians are accustomed to turning to their faith in times of crisis. The corona virus pandemic is no exception. Many who had strayed from God are now repenting of their sins and brandishing the sign of the cross as they leave their homes. Others are praying for a “Passover,” as CNN and other news outlets flood us with “end of the world,” doomsday messaging. As a result, many of us are yearning to collectively gather to pray.

    Whether the desire to collectively gather is buttressed by denial (“coronavirus is not here” — “the spirit of corona virus is dead in Nigeria”) or stems from a deep seeded longing for God to show mercy to a healthcare system that is wholly unprepared to handle the worst case scenario, the fact remains that Nigeria’s religious faithfuls are unaccustomed to missing gatherings for anything. Services are considered sacred times to commune with God and to be encouraged by the brethren. Others hang on to every word of their clerics who, in some cases, insist on serving as a religious crutch- intermediaries between their congregants and God. Many believers who engage with God on a transactional basis come bearing tithes and/or offerings in the hopes that God will hear their prayers. (He hears them regardless.)

    As such, the prohibition on religious gatherings of more than 20 (which essentially translates to a prohibition of services in general) has resulted in many Nigerian believers losing their ‘religion,’ i.e., left bewildered as to how to make the adjustment to a God who potentially exists outside the four walls of their churches; to a God who speaks directly to them in God’s long forgotten voice. Who, precisely, are Nigerian believers without our religions and religious houses of worship?

    Could it be that for the first time in a long time, Nigerian believers are being presented with a church-less opportunity to develop even more meaningful personal relationships with their God; to ‘lay hands’ on themselves and speak words of healing into their children from a God who has always heard them? Could this pandemic serve as an opportunity for believers to be what Murray Bowen describes as a ‘non-anxious presence’ to those who may be paralyzed by fear? Or as a practical example, to give our hired staff the much deserved paid time off to assuage the fears of their own elderly parents? As we creatively consider our individual responses, it is imperative that we recognise that our actions are a reflection of what we truly believe about our faith and the One who implores us to be salt and light.

    As the Church, however, it is unhelpful that some of our pastors are refusing to comply. The other day, I was tagged on a rather unfortunate video of a pastor irresponsibly screaming to congregants that the corona virus cannot withstand Nigeria’s “corrosive anointing.” However, even Jesus instructed us to obey the law of the land (render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s). This blatant refusal to consider the reality that may most aggressively affect those on the margins begs the question of why some churches are so adamant against temporarily closing their doors.

    Sure, we all need hope and encouragement in these perilous and uncertain times, but have we not, after all these years, fed the flock enough “meat” to trust that they can and will turn to God for themselves? Or are we, draped in our own egos, more selfishly concerned that they may not return to our fold and thus, affect our financial bottom line?

    It is not a lack of faith to use wisdom or to be practical. Even Jesus reached out his hand to save Peter when he could easily have let him drown and then used his “corrosive anointing” to raise him from the dead. Wisdom is profitable to direct and I believe my father, who I consider one of the greatest men of faith to ever walk this earth, would have done the needful to protect the sheep. My mother most certainly is.

    To this end, some larger churches are offering their services online. However, for the working poor who faithfully make up the backbone of most Nigerian churches, internet connectivity and/or live streaming of an entire service make that option impractical and/or unaffordable. They are the ones, who because they live day to day, cannot afford to practice social distancing, “stay at home” and for some, even “wash your hands,” because soap becomes a luxury when one’s ‘daily bread’ is devoid of the ‘daily.’ If our government does not step up to courageously seek support that is tailored to our unique realities and then provide that support to those on the margins, the import of the corona virus in our beloved Nigeria could be felt by generations to come.

    As such, could this pandemic present an opportunity for churches to fill the glaring gaps and practically serve the last and the least in a manner that reveals who we profess to be as followers of The Way? Might this be an opportunity for the church to put our egos aside and creatively heed Jesus’ instructions to ‘feed my sheep’, to apply the Balm of Gilead, by serving those who will be most physically, mentally and economically impacted? Practically speaking, could we convert our sanctuaries to temporary hospitals or food pantries where those in need can obtain essentials? Can we use the funds of those who have faithfully donated over the years to buy ventilators and personal protective gear for our hospitals and health workers on the front lines? Can we purchase hygiene products and distribute them to those who may be confined to their homes? This, I believe, is our mandate.

    At the end of the day, my faith in God runs deep. It has guided my life since I was 10 and I prayerfully trust that we will get through this. But as the Nigerian Church temporarily loses her ‘religion’ and her faith is unveiled in the face of COVID-19, she is presented with an opportunity to reverberate thunderously and rise up to be who she professes for such a novel time as this. After all, in the words of Dietrich Bonhoeffer, ‘the church is the church only when it exists for others…not dominating, but helping and serving.’

    WRITTEN BY

    R. Evon Benson-Idahosa, Esq.

    Lead table turner and expert troublemaker at Pathfinders Justice Initiative (www.pathfindersji.org); creating more space for women at the table.

     

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  • More temporary hospitals to be opened if Covid-19 cases spike

    More temporary hospitals to be opened if Covid-19 cases spike

    More temporary hospitals to be opened if Covid-19 cases spike 6

    PUTRAJAYA: The Ministry of Health (MOH) will open more temporary hospitals if Covid-19 cases increase drastically.

    Health director-general Datuk Dr Noor Hisham Abdullah (pix) said the temporary hospitals would be for patients who did not need respiratory aid.

    “For example today we have 150 new cases. If we look at the daily situation, there is a sudden increase in new cases, we might open more temporary hospitals at halls and stadiums, if necessary.

    “If we receive 1,000 cases a day, we would probably use the temporary hospitals for cases of non-symptomatic but tested positive or patients tested positive with mild symptoms, which do not involve respiratory aid,“ he told a media conference on the development of Covid-19 today. – Bernama

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  • Schistosomiasis elimination: refocusing on snail control to sustain progress

    Schistosomiasis elimination: refocusing on snail control to sustain progress

    Substantial progress has been made during the past decade to prevent and control schistosomiasis (also known as bilharziasis) globally. The disease affects more than 230 million people, mostly in sub-Saharan Africa.

    Progress is mainly due to large-scale periodic treatment of affected populations with praziquantel, the only medicine recommended by the World Health Organization (WHO) against all forms of schistosomiasis. Regular treatment cures mild symptoms and prevents
    progression to severe, chronic disease.

    “Through progressive scale-up of periodic large-scale treatment
    to control morbidity in many endemic countries, we are closer to
    achieving the minimum target of 75% global coverage of all school‐aged
    children,
    ” said Dr Amadou Garba Djirmay, who leads WHO’s global schistosomiasis control programme. “But
    if we want to achieve elimination, we must go a step further to
    introduce snail control in hot spots and in areas targeting elimination.
    This is bound to increase impact and accelerate progress towards
    interruption of transmission
    .”

    Expansion of treatment is largely supported by donated praziquantel from Merck KGaA of up to 250 million tablets annually. In 2018, almost 78 million children were treated, representing 63% of all school‐aged children eligible for treatment.

    Transmission: role of snails

    Schistosomiasis is an acute, chronic parasitic disease caused by infection with trematode worms of the genus Schistosoma. It is prevalent in tropical and subtropical areas, especially in poor, rural communities that have little or no access to
    safe drinking‐water and basic sanitation. Infection is transmitted when people suffering from schistosomiasis contaminate freshwater sources when evacuating urine and faeces containing the parasite’s eggs.

    Once an egg comes into contact with fresh water, it releases miracidia (hatchlings) which enter a snail and produce hundreds of cercariae (larvae) daily. The cercariae enter the human body on contact with the skin and develop into adult worms.

    Besides treatment with praziquantel, eliminating snail hosts and improving sanitation are important methods for sustainable prevention of the disease. Dam and irrigation projects are known to be potential sites for outbreaks of the disease. Snail management,
    often achieved through mollusciciding, can help to reduce transmission by eliminating these intermediate snail hosts.

    Vector control

    In 2017, the World Health Assembly – WHO’s decision making body – adopted resolution WHA70.16 on the Global Vector Control
    Response, calling on Member States to develop or adapt national vector control strategies and operational plans. The strategy aims to reduce by at least 40% the incidence of vector borne diseases, including schistosomiasis, by 2025.

    In response, WHO is reinforcing snail control as part of its strategic approach to achieve the target of eliminating schistosomiasis as a public health problem and, ultimately, the goal of elimination of transmission. Snail control will complement mass
    treatment campaigns and sustain the public health impact of this core intervention.

    To facilitate implementation of snail control, in 2019 WHO published on specific, standardized procedures and criteria for efficacy
    testing and evaluation and in 2017 a manual on the use of molluscicides in the field. WHO is also planning to strengthen capacities
    of health staff in medical malacology in order to reinforce snail control activities in countries.

    In the past, molluscicides (particularly niclosamide1 based products) were widely used in schistosomiasis control programmes. For example, in China programmes largely relied on snail control for over 30 years to overcome the disease as a public
    health problem. In other parts of the world, however, snail control programmes were gradually discontinued and competencies faded away.

    “Snail control is a crucial component of the global schistosomiasis elimination strategy,” said Dr Rajpal Yadav, Scientist, WHO Department of Control of Neglected Tropical Diseases. “It
    is time we look for new snail control products that are cost–effective
    and of low risk to humans and the environment. Some efforts are being
    made to explore molluscicide compounds from plants, marine algae and
    microorganisms
    .”

    An integrated control strategy involving mass treatment with praziquantel, snail control and environmental modification, wider access to sanitation and safe water, economic and environmental development, health education and poverty-alleviation can greatly
    contribute to sustainable control and elimination of schistosomiasis.

    WHO’s new road map on neglected tropical diseases for 2021–2030, due to be launched later this year, advocates enhanced financial and political support to achieve the target of interruption of transmission. Additional research to address gaps,
    develop tools and optimize the impact of existing programmes with snail control will complement the core strategic approach.

    Schistosomiasis: forms of the disease

    There are two major forms of schistosomiasis – intestinal and urogenital.

    Intestinal schistosomiasis usually results in diarrhoea and blood in the stool; enlargement of the liver and of the spleen and portal hypertension are common in advanced cases.

    Urogenital schistosomiasis is characterized by the presence of blood in the urine. Chronic infection results in fibrosis of the bladder and ureter that can evolve to hydronephrosis and create conditions for bladder cancer.

    In women, urogenital schistosomiasis can cause vaginal bleeding, pain during sexual intercourse and nodules in the vulva, a condition now described as female genital schistosomiasis. In men, urogenital schistosomiasis can induce disease in the seminal
    vesicles and prostate.


    1Limitations with the use of formulations based on niclosamide include restrictions on the usage of water immediately after application and temporary toxicity to non-target aquatic organisms including
    fish, amphibians and invertebrates. 

     

        Schistosomiasis elimination: refocusing on snail control to sustain progress
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      • Court Orders Forfeiture Of Retired Army General’s N293m, Property Over Financial Theft

        Court Orders Forfeiture Of Retired Army General’s N293m, Property Over Financial Theft

        Court Orders Forfeiture Of Retired Army General’s N293m, Property Over Financial Theft 7

        Court Orders Forfeiture Of Retired Army General’s N293m, Property Over Financial Theft 8


        The Federal High Court in Lagos on Thursday ordered the forfeiture of N293m, six parcels of land and 30, 000 MTN shares recovered from a former commander of the military Joint Task Force, Operation Pulo Shield, in the Niger Delta, Maj. Gen. Emmanuel Atewe (retd).

        Justice Mohammed Liman made an order for the temporary forfeiture of the assets to the Nigerian Government following an ex parte application by the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission.

        The EFCC alleged that the assets were part of proceeds of N8.5bn, which Atewe allegedly diverted from the military operation between September 5, 2014 and May 20, 2015.

        The landed properties were identified as 50 hectares of farmland at Plot No. FL746B Gaube Farmland Extension II Layout, Kuje, Abuja; a piece of land located at Commercial Layout, Yenagoa Gardens, Bayelsa State; one hectare of land in Kuje District, Abuja; Plot No. CP10, Sector Centre B Layout, Kuje, Abuja; Plot MF62 Outer Northern Expressway Cadastral Zone, Abuja; Plot No. 1228 Jahi, Abuja; four hectares of land designated as Plot No.CP6386 and Plot No.CP6387, Sabon Lugbe, Abuja.

        An investigating officer of the EFCC, Adamu Yusuf, said Atewe purchased the 30,000 MTN shares for N170,350,000.

        Counsel to the EFCC, Rotimi Oyedepo, said it would be in the interest of justice for the court to order the temporary forfeiture of the assets.

        After listening to him, Justice Liman granted the prayers and ordered that the temporary forfeiture order be published in a national newspaper.

        The judge adjourned until April 20 for anyone interested in the assets to appear before him to show reasons why they should not be permanently forfeited to the Nigerian Government.

        The EFCC had since 2016 been prosecuting Atewe alongside a former Director-General of the Nigerian Maritime Administration and Safety Agency, Patrick Akpobolokemi; Kime Engozu and Josephine Otuaga.

        They were accused of conspiring to divert N8.5bn of the military Operation Pulo Shield in the Niger Delta.

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        Court Orders Forfeiture Of Retired Army General’s N293m, Property Over Financial Theft
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      • Socso launches programme to assist workers who have lost jobs

        Socso launches programme to assist workers who have lost jobs

        Socso launches programme to assist workers who have lost jobs 9

        KUALA LUMPUR: The Human Resources Ministry, through its agency, the Social Security Organisation (Socso), has launched the Employment Retention Programme (ERP) to assist workers who have lost their jobs.

        Minister Datuk Seri M. Saravanan (pix) said the programme which was introduced as part of the 2020 Economic Stimulus Package, will be implemented through the Employment Insurance System.

        “The assistance will be provided in the form of temporary financial benefits and employment services,” he said in a Public Service Announcement today.

        In this connection, Kumpulan Wang Pembangunan Sumber Manusia (KWPSM) also launched a 2020 Training Stimulus Package which will benefit more than 40,000 local workers in the hotel, tourism management and air transport sectors which have been affected by Covid-19.

        Saravanan reminded employers not to impose employee pay cuts or force employees to use their annual leave during the length of the government’s Movement Control Order aimed at containing Covid-19.

        “It is the responsibility of employers to ensure the well-being and health of their workers,” he stressed.

        The minister also called on Malaysians to abide by the Movement Control Order which took effect on March 18 and was recently extended to April 14.

        “Stay calm, stay home,” he urged. – Bernama

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