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Tag: Strengthen

  • WHO, UN Foundation and partners launch first-of-its-kind COVID-19 Solidarity Response Fund

    WHO, UN Foundation and partners launch first-of-its-kind COVID-19 Solidarity Response Fund

    GENEVA and Washington, D.C. – A new coronavirus disease (COVID-19) Solidarity Response Fund will raise money from a wide range of donors to support the work of the World Health Organization (WHO) and partners to help countries respond to the COVID-19 pandemic. The fund, the first-of-its-kind, enables private individuals, corporations and institutions anywhere in the world to come together to directly contribute to global response efforts, and has been created by the United Nations Foundation and the Swiss Philanthropy Foundation, together with WHO. 

    “We are at a critical point in the global response to COVID-19 – we need everyone to get involved in this massive effort to keep the world safe,” said Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, WHO Director-General. “We are immensely grateful to the UN Foundation and the Swiss Philanthropy Foundation for coming forward to help us set up this fund. A lot of people and institutions have been saying they want to contribute to the fight against the novel coronavirus. Now they can.”

    The fund launches with major support already lined up, including from Facebook and Google who have instituted a matching scheme for funds raised through their platforms, while individual donors are also supporting the fund through www.COVID19ResponseFund.org.

    “We can’t ignore the fact that this is a truly global problem – one that requires truly global solutions,” said Elizabeth Cousens, UN Foundation President and CEO. “The case for global cooperation could not be clearer – communities everywhere are affected, and people want to contribute. This new fund will create space for people everywhere, together, to fight this virus.”

    Funds will go towards actions outlined in the COVID-19 Strategic Preparedness and Response Plan to enable all countries – particularly those most vulnerable and at-risk, and with the weakest health systems – to prepare for and respond to the COVID-19 crisis including rapidly detecting cases, stopping transmission of the virus, and caring for those affected.

    WHO and its partners are seeking financing for protective equipment for frontline health workers; to equip diagnostic laboratories; improve surveillance and data collection; establish and maintain intensive care units; strengthen supply chains; accelerate research and development of vaccines and therapeutics;  and take other critical steps to scale up the public health response to the pandemic.

    The COVID-19 Solidarity Response Fund is hosted by two foundations, the UN Foundation (registered in the United States) and the Swiss Philanthropy Foundation (registered in Switzerland). Both foundations have established relationships with the World Health Organization, allowing for efficient transfer of financial resources to enable COVID-19 response efforts.

    Apart from giving online at www.COVID19ResponseFund.org, the UN Foundation can also receive donations via check or wire from around the world by contacting COVID19Fund@unfoundation.org.  

    All donations made to the United Nations Foundation and Swiss Philanthropy Foundation are tax-deductible to the extent allowable by the law, where applicable (U.S. and Switzerland). Additionally, Swiss Philanthropy Foundation has partnered with Transnational Giving Europe to extend tax benefit to certain additional European countries where applicable.

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    More:

    COVID-19 Strategic Preparedness and Response Plan

    Coronavirus disease (COVID-19) outbreak information

    About the United Nations Foundation

    The UN Foundation brings together the ideas, people, and resources the United Nations needs to drive global progress and tackle urgent problems. Our hallmark is to collaborate for lasting change and innovate to address humanity’s greatest challenges. With an insider’s knowledge and outsider’s flexibility, we stay agile to get things done. Learn more at: www.unfoundation.org.

     

    WHO, UN Foundation and partners launch first-of-its-kind COVID-19 Solidarity Response Fund
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    https://www.who.int/news-room/detail/13-03-2020-who-un-foundation-and-partners-launch-first-of-its-kind-covid-19-solidarity-response-fund

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  • The economic cost of female genital mutilation

    The economic cost of female genital mutilation

    An interactive data tool launched by WHO reveals for the first time the current and future financial cost of health care for women living with conditions caused by female genital mutilation (FGM).

    The total costs amount to USD 1.4 billion annually.

    fgm-cost-thumbnail

    The FGM Cost Calculator is being launched on this year’s International Day of Zero Tolerance for FGM. This new tool shows that if FGM were abandoned now the associated savings
    in health costs would be more than 60% by 2050. This data, available for 27 of the 30 countries where FGM is practiced, will strengthen the economic argument of community activists, policy makers, programme planners and donors working to end this
    human rights violation.

    Q&As on the FGM Cost Calculator
    Access the FGM Cost Calculator

    A human rights violation with economic costs

    FGM includes procedures that intentionally alter or cause injury to the female genital organs for non-medical reasons. More than 200 million girls and women alive today have been cut in 30 countries in Africa, the Middle East and Asia where FGM is concentrated.
    [1] An extreme form of gender discrimination, it is recognized internationally as a violation of the human rights of girls and women: including the right to health, security and physical integrity and the right to be free from torture and cruel, inhuman
    or degrading treatment.

    FGM has no health benefits and causes only harm. Women and girls who are subjected to FGM are at risk of both short- and long-term negative health consequences – including for their physical, sexual, mental, and social well-being.

    The direct financial cost of treating the negative health complications caused by FGM can span generations, starting as early as childbirth. This puts a significant economic burden on health systems and national budgets, especially in countries with rates
    of FGM greater than 10%.

    Until now, there have been limited data on the financial costs associated with FGM, making it hard to demonstrate the cost-effectiveness of programmes and policies that can prevent FGM by 2030 – a global priority in the Sustainable Development Agenda.
    The new WHO Cost Calculator now provides an economic argument which can be used by those advocating for an end to FGM.

    Calculating health care costs of FGM

    Users of the new FGM Cost Calculator can choose a country and identify current costs of treating health conditions caused by FGM. Since the tool is interactive, it produces bespoke graphs showing the potential amount of money saved if FGM is prevented
    by a selected percentage.

    If no action is taken to prevent FGM, it is estimated that related health costs will soar by 50% by 2050, as populations grow and as more girls undergo the procedure.

    How it works

    The FGM Cost Calculator combines data on health risk associated with FGM, health costs and national FGM prevalence to analyze the economic impact on national health services of treating the consequences of these harmful practices.

    Health risk data were taken from a WHO database created for this analysis, pooling all available information from systematic reviews of health consequences of FGM. The following categories were used, each with a biological link to FGM: gynaecological,
    obstetric, urological, mental and sexual, as well as the immediate health complications that can result following the cutting.

    To be included in the calculator, a health condition needed to show evidence of increased risk when comparing women with and without FGM. It also needed to have a treatment which could be implemented and costed in the health sector.

    Health costs were calculated from the WHO One Health Tool and other data. The financial burden of treating selected health conditions was calculated at a national level.

    A strong case for investment in preventing FGM

    Rates of FGM have declined over the past 30 years, but not fast enough to keep up with population growth. If trends continue, the number of girls and women undergoing FGM will rise significantly in the next 15 years, in turn raising national health care
    costs of caring for them.

    Additional resources are urgently needed to scale up interventions that can prevent FGM in the future and reduce health complications.

    By providing quantifiable numbers on the cost of treating health conditions directly linked to FGM, for the first time, the FGM Cost Calculator can be a crucial tool in building an investment case for a future where no girl or woman is cut.

    [1] Female Genital Mutilation/Cutting: A Global Concern, UNICEF, New York, 2016
    The economic cost of female genital mutilation
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    https://www.who.int/news-room/detail/06-02-2020-economic-cost-of-female-genital-mutilation

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  • WHO Action framework to advance universal access to safe, effective and quality assured blood products 2020 -2023

    WHO Action framework to advance universal access to safe, effective and quality assured blood products 2020 -2023

    In response to calls for action, WHO has provided guidelines, physical standards, training and technical support to improve blood product quality, safety and availability in WHO regions and in countries. Despite these actions, progress in blood availability and safety under effective regulation has been slow in many parts of the world.

    For that reason, the WHO Action framework for blood products 2020-2023, proposes a renewed effort to scale up programme implementation to improve global adequacy of blood donation, and universal access to quality and safe blood and blood components for transfusion, and plasma derived medicinal products.

    The Action Framework provides strategic direction to WHO’s work for the years 2020-2023. It identifies six strategic objectives: appropriately structured, well-coordinated and sustainably resourced national blood systems; regulatory capacity to ensure the quality and safety of blood; functioning and efficiently managed blood services; effective implementation of patient blood management to optimize transfusion practices, effective surveillance, haemovigilance and pharmacovigilance, supported by comprehensive and accurate data collection systems; and partnerships, collaboration and information exchange to achieve key priorities and jointly address challenges and emerging threats at global, regional and national levels.

    The Action Framework will improve coordination and collaboration at all levels of WHO. The document will promote and strengthen new and existing partnerships, as areas for collaborative action are clearly identified. Moreover, it demonstrates the need for support to WHO (including sustainable funding) to coordinate the implementation of this ambitious plan. As a result, the Action Framework for blood products will allow WHO to more effectively carry out its mandate on blood, and to increase the impact of WHO activities to strengthen blood systems and blood regulation in countries and regions and eventually to ensure universal access to blood products worldwide.

     

    WHO Action framework to advance universal access to safe, effective and quality assured blood products 2020 -2023
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    https://www.who.int/news-room/detail/19-02-2020-who-action-framework-to-advance-universal-access-to-safe-effective-and-quality-assured-blood-products-2020–2023

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  • Statement on the meeting of the International Health Regulations (2005) Emergency Committee for Ebola virus disease in the Democratic Republic of the Congo on 12 February 2020

    Statement on the meeting of the International Health Regulations (2005) Emergency Committee for Ebola virus disease in the Democratic Republic of the Congo on 12 February 2020

    The meeting of the Emergency Committee convened by the WHO Director-General under the International Health Regulations (IHR) (2005) to review the current Ebola virus disease (EVD) outbreak in the Democratic Republic of the Congo (DRC) took place on Wednesday, 12 February 2020, from 14:00 to 16:45 Geneva time (CEST).

    Proceedings of the meeting

    Members and advisors of the Emergency Committee were convened by teleconference.

    The Secretariat welcomed the Committee and thanked them for their support. The meeting was turned over to the Chair, Dr Robert Steffen.

    Dr Steffen also welcomed the Committee and gave the floor back to the Secretariat.

    Representatives of WHO’s legal department and the department of compliance, risk management, and ethics briefed the Committee members on their roles and responsibilities.

    Committee members were reminded of their duty of confidentiality and their responsibility to disclose personal, financial, or professional connections that might be seen to constitute a conflict of interest. Each member who was present was surveyed and no conflicts of interest were judged to be relevant to the meeting.

    The Chair then reviewed the agenda for the meeting and introduced the presenters.

    Presentations were made by representatives of the Ministry of Health of the Democratic Republic of the Congo (DRC), the WHO Secretariat, and the UN Ebola Emergency Response Coordinator.

    The current situation in the DRC was reviewed. As of 10 February 2020, there were a total of 3431 cases, of which 3308 were confirmed and 123 were probable. 2253 persons have died (66%). Between 3 and 9 February 2020, three new confirmed cases were reported in Beni Health Zone, North Kivu. These three cases were already registered as contacts and two were under surveillance at the time of detection. More than 2000 contacts are being followed. There has been an increase in the number of security incidents in recent months.

    Challenges that remain include: strengthening of community acceptance for full commitment to response measures; protection of personnel at strategic health checkpoints; improvement of infection prevention and control practices in health facilities; strengthening of the local health system; and comprehensive treatment and support for patients in recovery.

    The WHO Secretariat gave an overview of the epidemiological situation, which shows an overall encouraging trend in case incidence and geographic spread. It was noted that sustaining this progress depends on the security situation and control of the well-known drivers of transmission, particularly in traditional health facilities, and on continued trust and communication with the community.

    A risk communication and community engagement programme has been developed, as has an EVD survivors programme. It is critical to ensure the long-term sustainability of these two initiatives.   

    The situation in countries neighbouring DRC was reviewed, as was preparedness in nonaffected areas of DRC. An EVD operational readiness standardized approach has been implemented in 9 priority countries. More than 2400 alerts have been investigated, and more than 14,600 health workers have been vaccinated.

    The UN Ebola Emergency Response Coordinator gave a brief report on operational support, focused on security challenges and preparations for any resurgence of disease.

    Context and Discussion

    The Committee noted a great deal of progress in the situation since its last meeting and commended the response, under the leadership of the DRC Ministry of Health and the multisectoral coordination commission established in July 2019. Support provided by WHO, UN agencies, nongovernmental organizations and other partners has also contributed to limiting the spread and impact of this virus in a difficult context. An increase in the number of alerts was attributed to strong and proactive community surveillance.

    Conclusions and Advice

    It was the unanimous view of the Committee that this event still constitutes a public health emergency of international concern (PHEIC) under the IHR (2005).

    The Committee acknowledged the revised risk assessment, which puts the risk now as high at national and regional levels, and low at the global level.

    The Committee was concerned that withdrawing the PHEIC now might have adverse consequences for the response efforts through diminishing focus. Additionally, although the primary concern of the Committee is EVD, there are serious ongoing outbreaks of other diseases, including measles and cholera, in DRC. The country continues to need support to combat infectious diseases as well as to strengthen its health system. Further, there remains an urgent need to maintain international solidarity for the response.

    The Committee noted the ongoing discussions about the interpretation in the text of the IHR (2005) of the terms international and regional spread, and about creating an intermediate level of response between the binary possibilities of PHEIC or no PHEIC, in a way that does not require reopening negotiations on the Regulations. The Committee supports these discussions, as an intermediate level would be as useful for gradually ending a PHEIC and for signaling the potential for one to be declared.

    The Committee provided the following advice to the Director-General for his issuance as revised Temporary Recommendations under the IHR (2005).

    For DRC:

    • Sustain the political commitment and multisectoral coordination approach to the response.
    • Continue to engage and build trust with associations of survivors to facilitate rapid detection of any cases arising from exposure to infected bodily fluids of survivors.
    • Continue to strengthen capacity, implementation, and coordination for community awareness and engagement, including a focus on hotspots, preventing resurgence where cases have declined, and to support survivors in their communities.
    • Further enhance the acceptance of response measures and address access and security issues by engaging influencers and decision makers for all interventions.
    • Strengthen measures to prevent and manage nosocomial infections, including systematic mapping of health facilities, targeting of IPC interventions and sustain support to those facilities through monitoring and supervision, including in private-sector and traditional health facilities.
    • Continue cross-border screening and step up monitoring at checkpoints around hotspots and at main roads.
    • Continue to implement and share real-time full-genome genetic sequencing of all new confirmed cases.
    • Strengthen measures to prevent and manage nosocomial infections, including systematic mapping of health facilities, targeting of IPC interventions and sustain support to those facilities through monitoring and supervision.
    • Strengthen preparedness in non-affected provinces of DRC, and more generally strengthen the health system across the country to respond to concurrent health emergencies.
    • Continue to implement optimal vaccine strategies that have proven maximum impact on curtailing the outbreak, as recommended by WHO’s Strategic Advisory Group of Experts (SAGE).

    For countries at risk:

    • At-risk countries should maintain their work with partners to improve their preparedness for detecting and managing imported or locally acquired cases, including the transparent sharing of detailed information on suspect cases, as required by the International Health Regulations (2005), and sharing laboratory samples of suspect cases for confirmatory testing in accordance with WHO norms and guidance.
    • Countries should continue to map population movements and sociological patterns that can predict risk of disease spread.
    • Risk communications and community engagement, especially at points of entry, should be maintained.

    For all countries:

    • As recommended previously, no country should close its borders or place any restrictions on travel and trade.
    • The Committee does not consider entry screening at airports or other ports of entry outside the region to be necessary.

    The Committee emphasized the importance of continued support by WHO and other national and international partners towards the effective implementation and monitoring of these recommendations.

    Based on this advice, the reports made by the affected State Party, and the currently available information, the Director-General accepted the Committee’s assessment and on 12 February 2020 maintained the Ebola outbreak in the Democratic Republic of the Congo as a Public Health Emergency of International Concern (PHEIC).

    The Director-General endorsed the Committee’s advice and issued them as Temporary Recommendations under IHR (2005) to reduce the international spread of Ebola, effective 12 February 2020. The Director-General thanked the Committee Members and Advisors for their advice and requested their reassessment of this situation within two months or earlier if the situation requires.

    Statement on the meeting of the International Health Regulations (2005) Emergency Committee for Ebola virus disease in the Democratic Republic of the Congo on 12 February 2020
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    https://www.who.int/news-room/detail/12-02-2020-statement-on-the-meeting-of-the-international-health-regulations-(2005)-emergency-committee-for-ebola-virus-disease-in-the-democratic-republic-of-the-congo-on-12-february-2020

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  • WHO and FIND formalize strategic collaboration to drive universal access to essential diagnostics

    Geneva, Switzerland – 10 February 2020 – The World Health Organization (WHO) and the Foundation for Innovative New Diagnostics (FIND) announced today that a memorandum of understanding has been signed by the two organizations to formalize a strategic collaboration that will strengthen diagnosis in resource-poor countries by closing major diagnostic gaps at country level and bolstering disease surveillance that will inform public health initiatives and enhance outbreak preparedness and response.

    “This collaboration is an inspiring development that will take us a long way towards ensuring access to diagnostics to all who need them,” said Dr Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, Director-General of the World Health Organization. “Global health challenges such as the ongoing novel coronavirus (2019-nCoV) outbreak demonstrates that without these essential elements of health systems, we cannot hope to promote health, keep the world safe, and serve the vulnerable. I look forward to working closely with FIND to determine what countries need and to forge a path to deliver these innovations so that no one is left behind.”

    Diagnosis is a driver of patient, financial and health systems impact, and a critical enabler of universal health coverage, but it is also the weakest link in the care cascade. This is especially true in primary healthcare settings in low- and middle-income countries. A unique and unprecedented opportunity exists to expand the role and impact of diagnostics to fully realize their potential to address major health security threats and evolving disease burdens through technological and digital advances.

    FIND has been an active partner with WHO since 2008 and a WHO Collaborating Centre since 2014, acting in the areas of laboratory strengthening and diagnostic technology evaluation. This expanded collaboration will put in place the building blocks necessary to enable transformative change in a move toward a country-led diagnostics alliance. Initial workstreams will focus on demand-driven access to essential diagnostics and the development of national Essential Diagnostics Lists, alongside collection of data that assist the scale up of diagnostics to support low- and middle-income countries on their paths to universal health coverage.

    “Each and every person has the right to a quality, timely diagnosis,” said Catharina Boehme, CEO of FIND. “Comprehensive diagnostic services underpin functional and efficient health systems not only to manage day-to-day healthcare needs, but also to ensure new disease outbreaks can be spotted and contained quickly. Working closely with WHO as part of a country-led alliance, we will strive to ensure that low- and middle-income countries have what they need to develop their own comprehensive, data-driven diagnostic strategies that enable universal health coverage and empower disease surveillance. Our ambition is that all patients, providers and decision-makers have access to the diagnostic solutions needed for optimal health outcomes.”

    The strategic collaboration agreement will initially run for a period of 5 years, until 2025.

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    About FIND

    FIND is a global non-profit organization that drives innovation in the development and delivery of diagnostics to combat major diseases affecting the world’s poorest populations. Our work bridges R&D to access, overcoming scientific barriers to technology development; generating evidence for regulators and policy-makers; addressing market failures; and enabling accelerated uptake and access to diagnostics in low- and middle-income countries (LMICs). Since 2003, we have been instrumental in the development of 24 new diagnostic tools used in 150 LMICs. Over 50 million FIND-supported products have been provided to our target markets since the start of 2015. A WHO Collaborating Centre, we work with more than 200 academic, industry, governmental, and civil society partners worldwide, on over 70 active projects that cross six priority disease areas. FIND is committed to a future in which diagnostics underpin treatment decisions and provide the foundation for disease surveillance, control and prevention. For more information, please visit www.finddx.org

     

    About WHO

    The World Health Organization is the directing and coordinating authority for health within the United Nations system. It is responsible for providing leadership on global health matters, shaping the health research agenda, setting norms and standards, articulating evidence-based policy options, providing technical support to countries and monitoring and assessing health trends. WHO is committed to the enjoyment of the highest attainable standard of health as one of the fundamental rights of every human being without distinction of race, religion, political belief, economic or social condition. WHO’s current global programme of work sets out three interconnected strategic priorities: ensuring healthy lives and well-being for all at all ages; achieving universal health coverage; and addressing health emergencies and promoting healthier populations. These priorities are linked to three ambitious targets, the “triple billion”: one billion more people to benefit from universal health coverage; one billion more people better protected from health emergencies; and one billion more people enjoying better health and well-being.

     

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    https://www.who.int/news-room/detail/10-02-2020-who-and-find-formalize-strategic-collaboration-to-drive-universal-access-to-essential-diagnostics

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  • Online training as a weapon to fight the new coronavirus

    More than 25 000 people across the globe have accessed real-time knowledge from WHO experts on how to detect, prevent, respond to and control the new coronavirus in the 10 days since the launch of an open online training.

    The learning team of the WHO Health Emergencies Programme worked with technical experts to quickly develop and publish the online course on 26 January – 4 days before the 2019-nCoV outbreak was declared a public health emergency of international concern.

    Approximately 3000 new users have registered for the training every day since its launch, demonstrating the high level of interest in the virus among health professionals and the general public. In addition, more than 200 000 people have viewed the introductory video to the course on YouTube.

    The high engagement levels emerged as the international community launched a US$675 million preparedness and response plan to fight further spread of the new coronavirus and protect states with weaker health systems.

    The free learning resource is available to anyone interested in novel coronavirus on WHO’s open learning platform for emergencies, OpenWHO.org. The platform was established 3 years ago with emergencies such as nCoV in mind, in which WHO would need to reach millions of people across the globe with real-time, accessible learning materials.

    The online training – entitled “Emerging respiratory viruses, including nCoV: methods for detection, prevention, response and control” – is currently being produced in all official UN languages and Portuguese.

    “Our job is to work with technical health experts to package knowledge using adult learning principles, quickly so that it is most useful to health workers and our staff,” said Heini Utunen, who manages OpenWHO for the WHO Health Emergencies Programme (WHE). “Our online platform – OpenWHO – is already accessed by users from every country on earth, providing more than 60 courses in 21 languages. Delivering trainings in the local language of responders is really important, especially in an emergency”.    

    WHE has been investing in learning and training to strengthen preparedness and real-time response to health emergencies. The programme developed its first-ever learning strategy in 2018 and has a small dedicated Learning and Capacity Development Unit that allows WHE to develop trainings quickly and get know-how to those who most need it at the front line.  

    For the latest information on the new coronavirus, visit the 2019-nCoV page.

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    https://www.who.int/news-room/detail/07-02-2020-online-training-as-a-weapon-to-fight-the-new-coronavirus

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  • When Your Husband Leaves You Without Any Warning

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    I often get correspondence from wives who are now living alone but who never saw this coming. Generally, they will come home from work or from running errands one day and find that their husband has left them. Or, the husband will abruptly pack his bags and announce that the marriage is no longer working for him and he thinks that he might “want out.” However this plays out, often the wife will tell me that she had no real warning and that this was very much an abrupt and unwelcome surprise.

    I often hear things like “I can’t believe he left me. I never really saw this coming. I knew we had issues, but every married couple has issues. I just can’t believe that he would leave me without ever trying to work things out. And, I don’t know where to go from here. I don’t want a divorce. I want him to come back home, but I’m so angry that he didn’t try to approach me first that I don’t even know how to approach him. What should I do?”

    The answer to this question is going to depend upon the circumstances and the people involved. But, it will often help to deal directly with the real situation that is in front of you, rather than trying to deal with the situation that you envision or hope exists. I will discuss this more in the following article.

    Don’t Focus Only On The Fact That You Had No Warning When He Left. Focus On What To Do Now And Where To Go From Here: It’s completely normal to be floored by the fact that one morning you woke up with a husband living at home, but by evening you were alone without any warning. This is an abrupt blow that can be devastating. But, because it can be important to act quickly, you will often have to make a conscious decision not to focus on the way in which this happened.

    Yes, your husband could most certainly have handled this in a different and preferable way, but neither of you can change that now. There’s a real risk in allowing your reaction to how he handled this to interfere with how you act toward him in the present. It can really help to ask yourself what your ultimate goal is in this situation. Some women will just want to handle themselves with dignity and grace while coping and moving on in the best way that they know how.

    Others will decide that their primary goal is to get their husband to come back home as quickly as possible. Often, what will help with one of these goals will also help with the other. No matter what you decide that you ultimately want, it’s my experience that you will often have an easier time getting it if you focus on what is right in front of you rather than the manner in which it happened. Yes, being blindsided is very painful and shocking, but it can hurt rather than help the situation to dwell on this rather than taking action.

    Evaluating What Is Going To Most Improve Your Situation: Once you’ve decided where you want to go from here, it’s important to step back and to try to take the emotion out of it to come up with the strategy that is most likely to get you what you want. It’s so easy to lash out, feel resentful, and to feel sorry for yourself. But these things usually won’t get you any closer to what you want. In fact, allowing your feelings to run your actions will often keep you from getting what you want.

    Debating with your husband, arguing with him, or lashing out will often push him even further away and just make you more upset with your situation. It’s usually better, at least in my experience and observation, to try as best as you can to limit yourself to the actions that strengthen you and allow you to feel in control rather than to surrender to those feelings or actions that are natural (and may relieve some tension) but which will only make the situation worse.

    It’s usually when you can somewhat rise above this and handle yourself with strength and calm that you will often begin to gain some ground. I absolutely know that this can be difficult. Sometimes, you might need to wait to interact with your husband until you can actually be calm. This may not be possible in the very beginning. But it can really help to always keep in mind your ultimate goal so that you don’t lose control of your strategy.

    Interacting With Your Husband During This Difficult Situation: It’s probably fair to say that there will come a time when you will need to communicate with your husband about where your marriage is going from here. Whether it’s fair or not, your husband has sent a clear message by leaving. Now, it’s up to you as to how you are going to reply to that message. But, before you do, define how you ultimately want for this to turn out. If you could put aside the shock, the hurt, and the fear, what is your greatest wish right now? The answer to this question is what you must place your focus upon.

    Because I would argue that no matter what your ultimate goal is, you’ll usually get closer to it by trying to interact with him in a positive way. Even if you are ultimately going to end the marriage, this was an important relationship in your life and it will likely help you going forward if you can keep this as positive as you can. If you want to save the marriage, improving your relationship and communications going forward will go a long way toward helping you to eventually save your marriage.

    There is absolutely nothing wrong with telling your husband that although you’re devastated that he would leave you without warning, you would like to interact with him in a positive way going forward. Since the two of you were once the most important people in one another’s lives (and may well still be) it just doesn’t make sense to allow for one negative action to turn into something that is even worse. He may not be all that receptive to this at first, but when he sees that you’re not reacting as he anticipated and are working with him rather than against him, you will sometimes be able to slowly rebuild with time. This is often true even if you are not 100% sure how you want to approach him right now.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

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