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Why Can’t I Forget My Ex Wife? Help for Moving on After Divorce

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It is 3 a.m. Silence echoes inside the empty house. You know you will not meet tomorrow’s deadline for that project at work, but you don’t care. All this seems so trivial. It’s been that way a year now. A veil has been covering your perception, your goals and your aspirations. Only this one phrase keeps repeating itself inside your mind: “Why Can’t I Forget my Ex Wife?” You keep wondering if there was anything you could have done to save this marriage. You cannot understand why you sink deeper and deeper into this vicious circle inside your mind, instead of getting over it. They say time heals, but it does not seem to be happening to you. Time cannot heal, unless you want it to.

Healing from divorce for men is just as hard as it is for women, maybe even harder. The reason for this is that women express their emotions, but for men it’s not as easy. They suppress their feelings. They struggle to abide by the role imposed to them by society and this always backfires. The pain inside of them accumulates and it multiplies to the point that it becomes unbearable.

1. Express Yourself

This is the most important thing you need to do during and long after the divorce. The phrase “men do not cry” couldn’t be far from the truth. Men do cry, but they do so in solitude. Do not struggle to hold back your tears in the company of a dear friend.

2. Communicate

Talk about it for hours with your friends and relatives, if you feel the need to.

3. Avoid By All Means Mutual Contacts

Whatever you say will be more than likely transferred in a distorted version to your ex-wife and vice versa. This creates a never-ending gossiping circle, which completely destroys a man’s chances to recover after divorce.

If contact with mutual friends and relatives is inevitable, demand that they do not talk to you about this matter.

4. Get It Out Of Your System

A day will come, when you are finally sick and tired of mourning. Gather all the pictures, letters and any other reminders and keep them in a safe place away from your sight. Stop going to places you went together. If you are the one who’s kept the house, move to a new house or even area.

5. Avoid Rebound Relationships

Most of the times, these relationships do not work. They slow down a man’s healing process after divorce and they end up hurting even more people.

6. Take A Trip Alone

Take a trip on your own to some remote, peaceful place with warm climate and tranquil water for swimming. It will help you relax, realize the beauty that still exists around you and give you the opportunity for introspection. All the pain you’ve gone through will be for nothing, if you do not learn from it.

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Source by Larry J Milton

Views: 0

November 10, 2022
Breaking Down the Strip-Lining Sales Technique

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In our most recent blogs, we’ve been reviewing Negative Reverse Selling and how it is very effective in creating great bonding and rapport with sales prospects. Negative Reverse Selling is a way of saying and doing the opposite of what the prospect expects from a salesperson, disarming them and creating trust with them. One of its more compelling techniques is called strip-lining, a method of using reverse questions to get the prospect talking, and you keep “throwing more line and let them swim”. However, you need to do this step right or it could backfire on you. When you do it correctly, prospects feel like they are in control of the conversation, and you have a better chance of making a sale. Practice this step frequently in low risk situations before using it on your biggest and best prospects.

What should you practice? Getting the fit right means executing as follows:

• Neutral prospects get very hard strip-lines, such as, “It sounds like you’re very happy and I should leave. Before I go, what do you like about who you’re doing business with now?”

• Negative prospects get hard strip-lines, but not as hard as neutral prospects. For example, “Based on what you just said about your current vendor, it makes sense to me why you’re not interested in switching your business to another company. We get great feedback like that from our customers, too, but your vendor sounds really good at what they do. I don’t know if you can do any better than that. There doesn’t seem to be much opportunity for us to work together here, is there?”

• Positive prospects get strip-lines that are just a light tug: “Thanks for reaching out to us. I have to say, your friend Bronwyn gets almost all the credit for having a great experience with us. She was very good about explaining the application problem, and that really helped her have a happy outcome with us. Since I don’t know your application, I’m not sure if I can help you at this point. Could you be nice enough to tell me about it?”

In all three examples, you’ll find three components. Look at each of them, and you’ll see how strip-line responses are structured.

1. The first component is a build-up (a compliment or validation of the prospect’s point of view). In the above, an example of that was, “It sounds like you’re very happy.”

2. The second component is a takeaway (a conclusion that goes in the opposite direction to what the prospect expects). In the above, an example was, “… and I should leave.”

3. The third component is a question (a continuation of the discussion). In the above, an example was, “Before I go, what do you like about who you’re doing business with now?”

Looking at the example above for positive prospects, notice the buildup portion of the response validates how well things went “with Bronwyn” and gives most of the credit to her: “Thanks for reaching out to us. I have to say, your friend Bronwyn gets almost all the credit for having a great experience with us. She was very good about explaining the application problem, and that really helped her have a happy outcome with us.”

The takeaway portion includes words to the effect that you’re not yet convinced you can help the prospect. “Since I don’t know your application, I’m not sure if I can help you as well at this point.”

The third part, the question, is pretty obvious; you ask a question to start to understand the application, the problem, and ultimately the prospect’s pain: “Could you be nice enough to tell me about it?”

When you strip-line a prospect using all three components of the technique, you are likeliest to uncover the most meaningful information. You now know what a good fit looks like. What does a bad fit look like? Let’s say a prospect calls your office and says, “I’ve heard really good things about your company. A friend of mine, Bronwyn, told me all about you, and I’m very interested in doing business with you.” Obviously, that’s a positive prospect. It wouldn’t be appropriate for you to do a hard strip-line since the prospect is almost ready to buy. Saying to the prospect, “You must have used some other vendors in our space. Why wouldn’t you want to use them now?” will not only confuse the prospect, but would probably ruin the sale. So that’s a bad fit. Instead, you’d want to use the approach I shared with you above, the one that begins “Thanks for reaching out.”

Sometimes the prospect says something that more or less does the buildup for you. In that case, you don’t need to do it, but you still need to do the takeaway and pose the question. For example if the prospect says, “I heard really good things about your company,” you could strip-line by saying, “That’s nice to hear, but we’re not for everyone. Would you like to tell me why you thought it might have been a good idea to call, and hopefully we find out that we’re a good fit”?

In summary: Strip-line very hard with neutral pros-pects, even sounding like you are getting ready to leave the sales call or implying that you think the sales call is over; strip- line hard with negative prospects; strip-line lightly with positive prospects.

Strip-lining is a great way to uncover pain because it’s extremely disarming and helps build trust. When you do it right, it doesn’t sound like you’re selling. Prospects feel like you truly embrace and care about their goals and pain. (As, of course, you do!) If you don’t uncover pain with strip-lining, then perhaps that particular prospect doesn’t have enough pain to do business with you. Strip-lining combined with other pain-finding Sandler approaches will put you in a different league from all those other salespeople who traditionally start with the hard sell, list off features and benefits, and offer prospects free quotes.

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Source by Greg Nanigian

Views: 0

November 10, 2022
Oxalic Acid – The Cure For Cancer

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Daily, certain foods and beverages are revealed as great antioxidants. For example: carrots, spinach, broccoli, tea, nuts, berries, garlic, onions, grapes, red wine, herbs, spices, and chocolate are foods known to be great antioxidants. We hear about flavonoids and vitamins. It is estimated there are 4,000 identified flavonoids. Isolating each one and determining what effect each, or a combination of each, has on a specific disease is an endless pursuit without an answer. However, common sense and research reveals there is one common denominator in the foods known as great antioxidants. They are all high in oxalic acid.

Are you aware that every mammal on earth has oxalic acid as a normal blood value? Ask any doctor or researcher what its purpose is and the best answer they will give you is that it aides in bowel movement. So here we are with a surprisingly high quantity of oxalic acid running through our blood with no real purpose?

There isn’t a place on earth that a plant containing oxalic acid can’t be found. Weeds are the most tenacious of all plants and are rich in oxalic acid. This is no accidental occurrence. There is purpose.

Research oxalic acid and you’ll discover it’s a deadly poison. So, we have a deadly poison in all the foods that are great antioxidants. Huh? Stop and simply think. Rather than isolating the smallest compounds within foods and researching each, analyze each food known to be a great antioxidant and find the common compound in each. This is exactly what has been done by an amazing 85 year old warrior of a man deep in the hills of Arkansas. This man is Colonel Joe Hart.

When is the last time you knew of anyone being granted a patent for anything natural? That folks, never happens. It has for Colonel Joe. He has been granted three (3) Patents for the Application of oxalic acid for treatment of cancer, bacterial and viral infections, and vascular diseases. Why isn’t the medical community screaming its merits? I wonder if the fear that this would eliminate a trillion dollar yearly health industry have anything to do with it? Talk about an answer to our nation’s health care crisis.

Colonel Joe discovered the benefits of oxalic acid during 1992. Once oxalic acid was identified as the acid which kills cancer cells without harming normal cells, he was then able to identify what foods and environmental factors inhibited the therapeutic value of oxalic acid. His approach to eliminating disease by ingesting high oxalic acid foods, has resulted in cures of all kinds of cancer and disease. Do you need to pitch a tent in your backyard and live by a campfire? No. Is this going to cost a fortune? No. Do you need to travel to Mexico? No. Is the information freely given? Yes.

There is always a sacrifice for gain. Prepare to give up milk and cheese, citric acid (an additive found in far too many processed and canned goods), red meat, cell phones, microwaves, and alcohol. If this proves too difficult, you can always go in for traditional surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy only to find that the cancer comes back eventually or you die. You do know doctor’s never tell you you’re cured……you’re in remission. “Cure” is not in their vocabulary.

Ask your doctor the next time you or someone close to you is diagnosed with cancer what caused it. They don’t know. The answer is low levels of oxalic acid in your blood. Having adequate levels of oxalic acid in your blood eliminates all abnormal cells effectively with no harmful side effects. Oxalic acid is God’s Poison With Purpose.

If you seriously look into every alternative cancer cure that shows some success, you will find the foods, herbs, grasses, and teas they suggest all contain high amounts of oxalic acid. They simply don’t know why their protocols sometimes work. Connect the dots people and stop throwing your money away.

Ask the American Cancer Society about tests they conducted over 50 years ago using oxalic acid in the treatment of cancer in experimental mice. The papers and evidence of positive results exist; however, they will tell you they know nothing about it.

Simply go to the grocery store, eat your chocolate, vegetables, fish, dark chicken, tea and wine. Toss out the microwave and cell phone. Say “No” to fast foods and truly enjoy eating your way to excellent health.

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Source by Jennifer Prescott

Views: 0

November 10, 2022
Clues That Your Relationship Might Be Coming To an End

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Nobody likes going through a break up. A break up can leave you feeling betrayed. It hurts and often takes a long time to get over. A break up can be especially be bad if it comes as a surprise. This often leaves a person confused. So how can a person recognize if the relationship they are in is about to end? There are clues you can look for. These often involve a change in behavior being exhibited by your significant other.

Here are some common signs that your relationship may be coming to an end:

1. Is you partner avoiding your phone calls?

This a major clue to understanding why your relationship could be coming to and end. Lets face it when you don’t answer your cell phone it is because you do not want to talk to that person or organization. So why would your significant other not answer your phone call? It could be they are romantically involved with somebody else.

2. Has your partner become less Romantic?

Of course when you are lying in bed with your significant other and they are not romantically inclined is a definite sign to the beginning of the end to your relationship. This is especially evident when there a general lack of foreplay In fact this could me they are already romantically inclined to another individual.

3. Is your partner spending more time with friends?

There is nothing wrong when your significant other spends time with their friends. This is there play time. However this a place where they can meet other people of the opposite sex. If your relationship is on the rocks. If she or he is spending more time than usual with friends this could be a very strong clue to the end of your relationship

4. You often get into arguments over trivial things.

These situations often mean much bigger problems are the root cause. It is alright to discuss things with you partner. Sometimes there will anger in the discussion. However a good relationship will forgive and be capable of compromise. But if you and your significant other argue over trivial things them you are heading foe a possible separation or worse a divorce.

5. Has your partner become disrespectful towards you?

Bad behavior such as checking out other women or men could a definite sign. This a definite sign of possible break up. This is also a sign when a woman starts looking at other men. She will do to indicate to her man that she is not satisfied with him.

Understanding your relationship with somebody is not easy. However this relationship is worth keeping. the first thing you must develop is a friendship before you become romantically involved.

best regards

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Source by Paul Luciw

Views: 0

November 10, 2022
3 Ways Web Design Works to Help Your Business Grow

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As you know, web design and development affects your business and audience. It is the first thing they see concerning your business, so it ought to make a good impression. Below are three important aspects of web design:

1. Makes the first impression

Like I said, your website is the first thing a potential client sees before knowing your services and how your business works. Those first few seconds are essential in your business because they determines if a potential client would become a client or not. And, it also determines your bounce rate. Would the client leave the site almost immediately? Or would they stay and check your services out?

An unappealing website or – God forbid – an outdated one would make your audience immediately bounce. This is because first impression matters. What they see first – your branding and website – matters a lot on your business. So you should always keep yourself and your business up to date on the latest technological trends and developments.

2. Helps your SEO

A great web design is beyond how great it looks or how easy it is to navigate. Although these two are important on their own, a great web design should also be SEO-friendly.

A great way to stay on top of your game among your competition is SEO. Let SEO be integrated into your website design from scratch on a long-term basis, and watch as your website improves its rankings in search engines like Google or Bing.

If you don’t know how to integrate SEO into your website, do not leave it for a latter period. Instead, get a professional web developer who knows what he/she is doing.

3. Builds up the character for your company

How your website looks and feels to your audience is how they perceive the customer service to be. For example, when you enter a company for the first time, several things happens. You get recognised as a potential client, and immediately get attended to by the receptionist. The receptionist further directs you to either the waiting room or the person in charge directly.

If you get transferred to the waiting room, you would be given certain refreshments – like coffee or tea – depending on your preference. And when you finally meet the person who would handle your request, the manner at which he/she treats you, their character, is what makes you stay or leave.

The same thing goes for websites. Your website tells a potential client how the character of the company is. So you have to ask yourself, is your website user-friendly? Natural? Welcoming? Easy to navigate through? And most importantly, is it SEO-friendly, so that more clients can find your business?

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Source by Karina Popa

Views: 0

November 10, 2022
Health Anxiety and Solutions

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It's always important to take care of oneself using all the principles of good health. Regular check-ups, proper nutrition and healthful living all enable one to keep on top of their health in a careful yet reasonable way. Often one becomes overly concerned with health issues and caught up in a cycle of health worries. One health issue is reconciled when another immediately pops up to take its place. These worries become all encompassing and exhausting after a while.

Eventually, the individual realizes that this cycle of health anxieties has intruded upon the quality of their life. A dark cloud, always hovering over daily living, this intrusive form of anxiety has to be addressed. One begins by determining why this is occurring, what purpose does it serve and how to interrupt this behavior.

Reason for Health Anxiety

Health worries actually serve a purpose and this purpose is not difficult to detect if one looks deep enough into this pattern of behavior. Often this pattern involves the brain distracting from specific emotions which the individual finds difficult to address.

Many emotions are so overwhelming, such as anger, grief or fear, that the brain looks for ways to distract. Health worries fit the bill because when one worries intensely about their health, there is little room to address an upsetting emotion.

Health worries blanket every other thought and this WORKS. This is the perfect distraction from unsettling emotions. When one worry is reconciled, another takes it place to veil the unaddressed emotion. Each health worry has a strong purpose, as it masks the true upsetting emotion, which is much more difficult to face in the long run.

Solution

– Recognition and acknowledgment of the Health Anxiety habit, one worry quickly following another in a noticeable loop that never ends. Awareness of this cycle is always the first step to reconciliation of the issue.

– Determining if this health worry is a true physical problem by visiting one's primary physician and ruling out a definite physical cause for the difficulty. Always rule out a physical cause before assuming it is merely health anxiety.

– Noticing that these health worries settle down when you become intensely interested in another topic or swept into a new relationship, job or cause.

– Identify your patterns. Do you experience twinges of symptoms that often jump from one area of the body to another? Do you find yourself overestimating physical intrusions and instantly jump to the conclusion that they signify danger or warrant the attention of an alert?

– Find interests that involve your entire being. Lose yourself in things that allow you little time for inward thinking. True illness does not surface through boredom as do these behaviors. True health problems do not generally follow the same time table as health anxieties do. Health worries are stronger during times of boredom and when one lacks interests. An intelligent mind requires challenges and goals.

– Activity is an important therapeutic tool against health worries. Exercise and movement invigorate and stimulate the mind and body in a positive way. Endorphins are released and Serotonin levels are boosted naturally when activity is a part of a daily routine. Moderate walking, jogging, tennis, swimming and dancing are all helpful activities that bring forth positive results.

– Nutrition is also essential to good health which in itself helps eliminate the strong habit of negative thinking, often concerning health worries. When eating properly, Serotonin levels are naturally boosted and blood sugar levels remain stable. This helps settle down an over-reactive mind, leading to a lessening in health anxieties.

– Talk back to the brain by firmly telling it to stop when health worries enter the mind. Shift into a more positive mode of thinking because you always have a choice in what you think about.

The mind will respond by quieting down as negative thoughts subside. The brain, caught red handed in this behavior is instantly embarrassed causing it to suspend this cycle of negative thought. This is comparative to a child being caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Embarrassment at being caught, stops this intrusive behavior.

– Be aware of "what if" thinking. If the majority of sentences you think begin with "what if" then this is proof of a strong health anxiety habit. Change "what if" thinking to "so what" and watch the cycle break.

Most of all, understand that worry solves nothing. Health worries, in particular will only serve to exhaust and deplete both mind and body. Consciously make a concerted effort to change the way you think and you will succeed in changing your life. You will go from self victimization to freedom from the intrusive habit of fearful worry.

You always have a choice. Life can be wonderful and fulfilling when you learn to alter your perspective and chose a more positive point of view. You always have a choice. Never define yourself by your habit of worried thinking. Do not be victimized by health anxiety and fear. With a few simple corrections, especially in thinking, you will find your life changes from being difficult and upsetting to becoming easier and much more fulfilling on a daily basis.

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Source by Dr.

Views: 0

November 10, 2022
Can Emotional Pain Build-Up If Someone Doesn’t Have A Strong Connection With Their Body?

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After someone has experienced loss, they could end up experiencing emotional pain. When it comes to how severe this pain is, it can all depend on who has passed on.

So, if a family member has passed on, the amount of pain that they are in could be unbearable. Through being in so much pain, one could reach out for the support of family and friends.

Additional Help

This might not be enough, though, and one might end up reaching out for professional assistance. Perhaps their friends and their family are unable to be there for them on a regular basis.

It could be said that this is just part of life as these people are going to have their own responsibilities to deal with. There is also the chance that these people are also in a lot of pain and haven’t always got the energy to be there for them.

The Sensible Approach

The main thing here is that one will be embracing how they feel, and this will allow them to gradually embrace life once again. This doesn’t mean that they will ever ‘get over’ what took place; what it means is that they won’t stay stuck in this emotional place forever.

Additionally, one may also allow themselves to cry when they need to or during certain times. What this will illustrate is that one has a healthy relationship with the emotional part of their being.

Just One Example

If this is the case, it is going to be normal for them to embrace how they feel. Therefore, regardless of whether someone passes on, a relationship comes to an end, or something else takes place that has an impact on them, they will go with how they feel.

It is not going to be an issue for them to cry or to get angry, for instance, which may generally stop too much emotional pain from building-up inside their body. This is going to allow them to operate as whole human being.

Two Sides

Of course, there will be times when facing how they feel will be hard, even overwhelming, but it will be worth it. The reason for this is that having a good connection with their feelings will benefit their life in a myriad of ways.

For one thing, it will give them the ability to form deeper connections with others, and this wouldn’t be possible if they were emotionally disconnected. Also, their feelings will give them the guidance that they need to live a fulfilling.

A Different Experience

For someone else, it could be normal for them to deny how they feel after they have experienced loss. It is then not going to matter what kind of loss takes place as they will respond in the same way.

Through taking this approach, they may believe that the emotional pain they were in has simply disappeared. Yet, although it may seem as though is the case, this couldn’t be further from the truth.

Disconnected

In reality, their mind will have lost touch with their body and this part of them will still be carrying their feelings. However, as their point of awareness is generally in their head, this is unlikely to occur to them.

To maintain the illusion that they have created, it will be vital for them to do what they can to stay out of their body. If this doesn’t take place and they were to get back in there, they would end up being overwhelmed by emotional pain.

Twp Parts

Living on the surface of themselves may allow them to be successful when it comes to their career, for instance, but it unlikely that they will be able to experience intimacy or to live a life that is deeply fulfilling. It could also be a real challenge for them to relax and to just be; if they were to settle down, all the pain that is inside them could start to rise up.

Being on the go just about all of the time, acting like a ‘human doing’ as opposed to a ‘human being’, will be a way for them to avoid themselves. Nonetheless, this kind of behaviour is often seen as a sign that someone is ‘driven’ or has ‘high self-esteem’, so very few people are likely to realise that something isn’t right.

What’s going on?

If someone has the tendency to avoid how they feel as an adult and to live in their head, this could be something that has taken place for as long as they can remember. Perhaps, their early years were a time when they didn’t receive the attunement that they needed to develop in the right way.

As a result of this, leaving their body and getting into their head would have been the only way for them to stop themselves from being overwhelmed. The years will then have passed, but staying out of their body will still be a way for them to stop themselves from being taken out by how they feel.

A Build-Up

Their body can then carry the emotional pain that they avoided as a child and it can carry all of the pain that they have avoided as an adult. The longer they avoid themselves in this way, the more pain there will be.

With this is mind, the sooner that they face this pain the better it will be. Facing this pain is what will allow them to not just look whole on the outside, but to feel whole on the inside.

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Awareness

If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they will most likely need to reach out for external support. This can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

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Source by Oliver JR Cooper

Views: 0

November 10, 2022
Exploring The Forex Trading System

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Most people are familiar with the most basic form of Foreign Exchange Trading. They know that when you travel abroad, one of the first things you do after disembarking is to find the nearest place for currency exchange. Depending on the country you call home and the country you are visiting, currency exchange will leave you either richer or poorer based on the exchange rate.

Nowadays however, Foreign Exchange Trading, or Forex, has taken on another meaning. If you hear two people excitedly chatting about Forex in an elevator or coffee shop, they are most likely referring to a type of investment trading that is growing in both popularity and esteem.

How It Works

Basically, Forex trading is how investment traders speculate regarding the trends and fluctuations in currencies. If a trader is able to stay on top of trends and accurately predict the disparities between pairs of currency values, they can make considerable profits through Forex trading.

For instance, the USD (US Dollar) and EUR (Euro) is a very commonly traded currency pair. If you had reason to believe that the USD will drop in value compared to the EUR then you would “go long” and purchase EUR/USD. If, on the other hand, you predict that the USD will rise in value, then your reaction would be to “go short”. Of course, this is just a very basic example of the principles of Forex; experienced traders keep track of many different currency pairs simultaneously using Forex Trading Systems.

All foreign exchange trading is done through a Forex broker. These brokers handle the trades and place them on the open market by networking with banks. Because of the fluctuating nature of currency exchange, Forex is a very dynamic form of investment trading. Also, unlike the international stock market, Forex is open throughout the day. The primary reason people engage in Forex is, of course, to make a profit. However, many are motivated to stick with it because of its thrilling nature.

Best Strategies for Up-and-Coming Traders

Although many people are able to supplement their incomes through Forex, it is by no means a quick and easy way to get rich. Using the Forex Trading System correctly takes time, experience, and patience. Those who are new to a Forex Trading System will need to spend time getting familiar with the jargon and tuning into ever-changing currency trends. Some general tips for newcomers to the Forex scene include:

Select a Forex Trading System that accommodates and adapts to the dynamic nature of the market. If you are using a software package to manage your trades, you will be best served by a program that keeps pace with the lightning fast changes that occur in currency trading. There is also a lot to be said for software that has a clear, easily understood format so you aren’t struggling to keep track of what’s happening in the market.

When you first dip your toes into the world of Forex, a good rule of thumb is “less is more”. This means that you should start small with your trading and build up slowly from there based on your successes. For instance, focus your initial efforts on a single currency pair and use that experience to inform future trades. Along those same lines, don’t use the maximum amount of leverage when you are new to Forex; that’s a sure-fire way to rapidly accumulate losses. Instead, begin with small leverage ratios and gradually increase as you become more experienced.

If you really want to stay on top of trades and trends, you will need to use a Forex Trading System that will send you messages regularly. This will allow you to immediately take advantage of trends and reap the financial benefits.

Most Forex brokers allow you to use a trading demo to get some practice before actually investing any money. Take advantage of these demos as they can give you a feel for currency trading in a risk-free environment.

Foreign Exchange Trading can be difficult to master, but with a level head, an effective Forex Trading System, and patience, you will be rewarded for your efforts.

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Source by Tiffany M. White

Views: 0

November 10, 2022
Why Healing Requires Integrating Our Unconscious Experiences Into The Wholeness Of Our Being
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Nurture The Deepest Part Of Your Core Nature

Healing involves integrating our fragmented parts into the entirety of our being. However, the paradox is: we are not broken but merely disassociated from our wholeness. The term healing denotes restoring what is not functioning as it is intended. When we are caught up in the distorted beliefs about ourselves, it leads to separation or what we consider being broken. In fact, it is merely being separated from the completeness of our true nature. Think in terms of a hologram where the whole is contained in every part. This was an idea espoused by the late theoretical physicist David Bohm who believed the universe is a solid and brilliant hologram. He recognized how each part of our physical reality contained information about the whole. Therefore, our thoughts, emotions, soul and physical body are composed of our soul nature.

How does this idea appeal to you? Are you comfortable knowing whilst you were born whole and pure, through your beliefs, thoughts and experiences it leads to separation? I'm not suggesting it is entirely your fault because we are all bound to experience this. It is said, while our painful experiences are not our fault, healing the pain is our responsibility. Although there's an element of truth to it, we ought to remember there is nothing to heal other than to attend to our unconscious memories in order to return to wholeness. By attending to these aspects, we integrate our known sense of separateness. Release and Renew is a mantra I often repeat in my writing when I discuss healing and emotions. In doing so, we release that which is not conducive to the present moment. Similarly, we renew our commitment to nurture ourselves by connecting with our core emotions. The integration I speak of is an association with our soul nature, which at its essence is pure, whole and knows nothing of separateness or brokenness. It is the egoic mind which disconnects us from our spiritual self to create two identities ie the darkness and the light.

How To Heal Your Fragmented Parts

I am drawn to a passage by the South African author Michael Brown, who writes in The Presence Process : "I dropped my use of the word" heal "because of its connotation that something was wrong and had to be fixed. using the word "integrate," which to me meant there was a part of my experience that was unconscious- a part of my experience that I resisted, controlled, and sedated-which was asking to be incorporated into the whole.Whereas healing felt like I was excluding something from my experience, integration felt like I was embracing everything I experienced . " I believe Brown makes two important points here: we mustn't resist nor control the past, but perceive them as the whole of our life's experience. Second, integration means to embrace or at the very least acknowledge everything that happened to us. Perhaps not right away, but when we are ready to make peace with the past.

What are your thoughts about this? I realize you may have questions related to your personal experiences. Whilst I am not present to answer them, I assure you trying to make sense of them consciously is a healing process rather than an integration process. It is what author Dr. Mario Martinez means when he writes in The MindBody Code: How to Change the Beliefs that Limit Your Health, Longevity, and Success : "The true agents of change are elevated cognitions and exalted emotions. These agents of change provide sustain transformation; in fact, they have triumphed over the greatest infamies and darkest periods in our human journey. " It does little good to dwell on why the past took place as it did. Instead, we ought to turn the tables and consider the following questions as a basis for self-enquiry. Instead of trying to make sense of the past which keeps us trapped replaying painful memories, we identify how the experiences served us.
1. How can I use the past to facilitate my greater growth?
2. In what ways can I use my emotional wounds to bring peace and love to the part of me that is pure and whole?
3. How can I integrate my sense of separateness into the wholeness of my being?
4. Whom do I need to become and let go of to achieve this inner state?
Once we can perceive the pain of the past through the lens of: compassion, forgiveness, peace and love we heal our fragmented parts. It may involve deep exploration into ourselves with or without the guidance of a trained therapist. Considering this, I'd like you to spend the following week journaling your answers to the four questions above. Call it a remote coaching session if you like. Write what comes to mind even if it involves images or symbols. Similarly, pay attention to your dreams via the symbols that appear. Note how you feel within the dream and upon waking. Look for messages in your waking life in the form of people, places and situations that cause you unrest. This is your soul guiding you towards integration. Ultimately, to heal ourselves we must be willing to integrate the pain of the past, so healing happens naturally as nature intended it to.

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Source by Tony Fahkry

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November 10, 2022
Stuffed Emotions Don't Die – They Multiply!

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As I work with clients on a daily basis, I am often amazed at how much fear is involved in showing emotion. Granted some people go the other way and completely out of control with their emotions. However, numerous others are entirely out of touch with how they feel. You can tell a person is in this situation because when you ask them the typical therapist question, "And how did that make you feel?" there will be a long pause. Uhhh …. ummmmm … truly the thought of putting emotion to an event is almost impossible for them.

This process can be very frustrating when a person's spouse tends to be very in-tune with their emotions. They know exactly how they feel at all times. When an inquiry into what their partner is feeling brings a blank stare, there can be a complete break-down of communication. My common answer to help the aggravated partner understand what's happening inside their loved one's heart is, "when he / she tells you they don't know how they feel they are telling the truth. They truly don't know how they feel."

Typically, a person who stuffs will respond to any situation requiring emotions in one or two ways. They will give you the one emotion that our culture allows us to show: anger. However, anger is not the real emotion they are feeling. It is just the emotion that we are allowed to express openly. Anger is really about hurt, unmet expectations or other pain. If a stuffer doesn't show you openly expressed anger, they will just push the anger down inside and do what they do so well … stuff it!

The problem is that stuffing doesn't stop the emotion. Stuffed emotions don't get buried. Truly, stuffed emotions multiply. They become stronger and more powerful. Stuffing emotions over the long haul will eventually cause your body to break down. You can only carry so much emotion on the inside. Pretty soon your internal systems will start responding to the heavy load you are forcing them to carry.

If you are a stuffer, please know that this information is coming your way via divine providence. It is time to step back and start finding new ways to identify and process your emotions. Emotions don't have to be scary when you learn better ways to get in touch with them. Emotions are just like the light on the dashboard of the car. They serve the purpose of letting you know that "something under the hood" needs looked at. You can take out the fuse so the light doesn't go on, but that doesn't stop the damage to the inside that could possibly happen if you drive on down the road ignoring the warning signal.

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Source by Trudy Johnson

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November 10, 2022