Global Digital Store – Ebooks and Softwares

Tag: Sounds

  • Stopping Employee Theft in Your Coffee Business

    [ad_1]

    Regardless to how good of an employer you are, and even if you treat your employees well, understand that employee theft is a reality, and you need to control it. While it may only be a very small percentage of your staff that might steal from you, it can have a significant financial impact on your coffee business. If it goes unnoticed, employees will usually become even more brazen in their activities.

    When it comes to theft, your employees are likely to fall into one of the following four categories:

    Mr./Ms. honest – these are people who would never think of taking anything if it doesn’t belong to them. If they happen to go home with one of your ballpoint pens, they’ll bring it back the next day, and feel guilty that they took it home, even though it was unintentional.

    Incidental theft – these are people that will take home your pen by accident, and will keep it. And, they may scarf a piece of cheesecake occasionally when you aren’t looking, even though they know they shouldn’t. Because these items have minimal value, they have no great sense of guilt related to their activities.

    Theft because of need and opportunity – this is when you have an employee who is perhaps living on the edge financially, and because they have the need, and because your security may be lax, they’ll take advantage of an opportune situation to take something.

    Compulsive theft – this is the person who is always looking for something to steal, and they have absolutely no conscience about it. They typically rationalize the theft in their own mind. They consider you to be the rich, fat cat, and feel that they are over worked and under paid, so stealing from you is justified.

    Employee theft probably exists to some extent within your operation, whether you are aware of it or not. You can most likely live with incidental theft, provided it doesn’t get out of control. Theft related to need and opportunity is, in reality, your fault. These people would probably not steal from you normally, but a lack of security procedures has created the temptation and means for them to do so. Compulsive theft must be discovered, stopped, and you must eliminate the person(s) responsible.

    Losing product due to theft:

    Your employees may have no desire or need for a sleeve of 12oz. paper cups, Java Jackets, or a roll of toilet paper… but they might like a frozen cake, gallon of chocolate sauce, 6-pack of beer, or a bottle of wine.

    There are some simple things you can do to greatly reduce the chance of being ripped-off. First, don’t allow your employees to store their jackets, backpacks, and purses near where you store products. This makes it incredibly simple for someone to slide something into their bag or jacket pocket when no one is watching. I always had my employees store their personal belongings in the cabinet under the cash register (where someone would always be watching), or in my office, under lock & and key.

    Second, keep the back door of your store locked with a key at all times (you or your supervisor being the only ones having a key). If customers regularly enter through your back door, this may not be an option. If your back door is an emergency fire exit (and it probably is), you’ll need to install an alarmed breaker-bar. The whole point is that you don’t want your employees to be able to flow in and out of the back door without you knowing about it. Carrying product out the back door to their car, a hiding place for later pick-up, or an awaiting friend, is one of the most common ways products will exit your store.

    Once you have made it more difficult to stash things in their personal belongings, or carry them out the back door, employees may resort to hiding items in the trashcan. Of course you will unlock the back door to let them take out the trash. If they have hidden something in the trashcan, a dumpster-diving expedition will certainly be planned for after-hours to recover their treasure.

    Periodic trashcan checks should eliminate this problem, or make it a far less appealing option to anyone considering this method to smuggle things out of your store. Buy a long handle 3-prong garden rake. When employees ask to take out the trash, accompany them, and have them hold the can up on the edge of the dumpster while you rake out the trashcan contents. What you are looking for are things that might have been hidden in the trash, but you can tell your employees that you are merely making sure that small wares aren’t being accidentally thrown away. During the 15-years I owned and managed restaurants, I discovered everything from six-packs of beer, bottles of wine, and packages of steaks hidden in the trash!

    Another situation that will create an ideal opportunity for employees to steal from you is having only one person working in your store. If your baker comes in each morning a hour before you or the next employee, or if one person is left to clean and lock-up the place at the end of the day, opportunities for theft abound. As the old saying goes: when the cat’s away…

    Always try to have at least two people in your store at all times. If there is not justification for having a second employee on the clock, then you will need to be that second person. If this requires you going from a 60-hour workweek to 80-hours, then this may not be a tolerable option. If this is the case, then at least invest a couple of hours more each day for a week or two to do some detective work.

    During those times of day when only one employee is working, park at the far end of the parking lot, or across the street, so that you will reduce the chance of being noticed by your employee. If they are familiar with your vehicle, use your spouse’s or friend’s vehicle for a few days. Watch carefully (with binoculars if necessary). I know this all sounds a little CSI – like, but better to rest-easy, feeling fairly assured that your employee isn’t carrying away your store when you’re not watching. If I had the time, I could tell you countless stories of my experiences in catching employees red handed, loading the trunks of their cars.

    If you suspect that theft of product might be occurring, but you’ve seen no direct evidence of it, then conducting a daily key item inventory may shed some light on the situation. Write down a list of 15 to 20 products that you think would be most appealing for someone to steal. In your coffee business, this might include items such as coffee, syrups and sauces, smoothie puree, biscotti, cookies, and desserts, sandwich meats & cheeses, and of course beer & wine (if you serve those from your operation). Then take an inventory of these items every day. Your employees don’t need to know what you are doing, and if they ask, simply tell them you are taking an inventory for ordering purposes.

    What you are looking for are anomalies in usage. For example, let’s say that from your daily inventories you assess that you use about half a gallon of chocolate sauce per day. Then, one day you notice you used 1 1/2 gallons of chocolate the previous day. This should send up a red flag! Why did you go through an extra gallon of chocolate? Were you significantly busier yesterday, or did you featuring several drink specials which contained chocolate sauce? A quick review of individual item sales from yesterday’s cash register report should provide you with the answer. If you average one ounce of chocolate per beverage, then using 1 1/2 gallons means you should have sold approximately 192 beverages containing chocolate (128 oz. per gal. x 1.5 = 192). If this was the case, no problem. But, if you discover that you only sold 64 beverages containing chocolate, then 128 oz. (or 1 gallon) is unaccounted for and missing! A good indication that it probably walked out the door. If this happens, keep track of who was working on the day of the shortage. If this happens continually, eventually you will discover that the same person or persons were working every time.

    Theft of money by employees:

    Hopefully, none of your employees will have the desire to steal products from you, but some will be tempted by the lure of cold, hard, cash. Everyone could use an extra $20 a day. Employees who steal money from you will definitely hurt your bottom line, and must be eliminated.

    The first way to reduce cash theft is to have a cash handling policy in place that will discourage theft. If multiple employees are using the cash register, and no one person is responsible, then I can almost guarantee that your cash drawer will keep coming up short on a regular basis. The fact that no one person can be held responsible for the shortages, will make grabbing a bill or two easy and appealing.

    Implement a policy that one, and only one person is responsible for the cash register for the entire shift. They should count the drawer at the beginning of their shift to verify that they are starting with the designated change bank. Then, they should be the only person to ring up sales and make change. Even you, the owner/manger, should keep your hands out of their cash drawer. Finally, at the end of their shift, they should set aside the amount they started with in the change drawer, and total all the remaining cash, checks, and charges, and balance against what was rung up on the register. If they started with the right amount of money in the cash drawer, rang everything up, took all the money, counted back all the change, and they end up short… who’s fault is it? It can only be theirs. By implementing this simple policy, I once took an operation that was coming up $100 a day ($3,000 a month) cash short, and reduced it to $3 a day, in just 30 days! That’s over a $2,900 bottom line improvement, (in case you didn’t do the math)!

    The other common method that a cashier might use to steal money from you is by using a method called, building a bank. This is the process of not ringing up items on the cash register, while still taking money from the customers, and then pocketing that money. Typically, they will obscure the view of the cash register display on the customer’s side with something like a flower, retail merchandise, or by turning the display so that it cannot be easily seen. Then, they will pretend to ring up an item, but will hit the no sale key instead, popping the drawer open so they can take the cash and make change, but in reality, they haven’t rung up anything. The other thing they might do when it is busy is to just not shut the drawer between transactions. They simply convey verbally the cost of items ordered by customers and take the cash, but once again, nothing has been rung up.

    A cash register that prints out the order on a remote receipt printer to the person who will be preparing the item, can eliminate this problem. Quite simply, if the item isn’t rung-up, it won’t print out. If your barista or cook won’t prepare anything without a receipt (and they shouldn’t!), it will force your cashier to ring everything up.

    If you observe that the cash register’s display has been blocked from the customer’s view, or there are an excessive number of no sale indications on your cash register’s detail tape, or notice that your cashier is not shutting the drawer between transactions, beware! While these may not be indisputable proof that your cashier is stealing from you, they should certainly heighten your vigilance to find out if something is going on.

    If your coffee business only warrants having one employee working at a time, perhaps because you own a cart, kiosk, or low volume drive-through operation, then how do you go about keeping your employee from building a bank and stealing from you? The best solution I’ve seen is to turn your customers in to watchdogs. Affix a sign to the front of your cash register, in plain sight of the customer, that reads: If you don’t receive a receipt with your order, it’s FREE! This will force your cashier to hand each customer a receipt for their purchase. If they are building a bank, this means they will have to hand the customer a receipt that says – NO SALE; something they probably won’t fell comfortable doing!

    The financial impact of theft of money can be extremely damaging, for example: Let’s say you have a cashier who is skimming off $20 a day by not ringing things up, and then pocketing the money. Not only did you loose the stolen $20, but the $7 of ingredients that were probably used to produce the ordered products; ($20 x 35% ingredient cost = $7.00). So in reality, you lost $27, and it will take an additional $41.54 in sales, to recover this loss; ($41.54 x 65% gross profit = $27). $27 a day lost to theft, X 21 days worked by the employee = $567 lost cash & product per month; $872 extra sales required to offset this loss. (Annual loss, $6,804; $10,468 in additional income required to offset loss.) You must stop theft of money!

    Theft of money management:

    If you have a manger running your operation for you, this can really create an opportunity for cash theft. Just about anyone who has ever run a food service operation (self included), probably felt that they were over-worked and under-paid. Some are tempted to grant themselves an unapproved raise. Your manger has the control key to the cash register, which means they have the ability to back off items that were sold. You would be wise to check your cash register detail tapes on a regular basis. If you see multiple items backed off in groups, or more worrisome yet, all backed off at the very end of the shift, beware!

    A good way to keep this from happening is to establish a policy that no over-rings are to be backed off of sales on the cash register with the management control key. Instead, when the cashier makes an over-ring, they should take the receipt, write over-ring on it, sign it, and put it in the cash drawer. At the end of the shift, the total of all over-rings should be manually backed off of the sales total indicated on the cash register report.

    Many years ago I had a manager that was stealing money from me in another creative way. This manager, who opened the store each day, would reset the cash register by Z-ing it out after the first half hour of business. He would then pocket the proceeds earned during that first half hour. Because additional sales were generated during the second half hour, the cash register hourly sales report would always show sales for the first hour of operation, thus eliminating any suspicion that something might be going on.

    It wasn’t until I was doing a routine audit of cash register Z tapes that I noticed something wasn’t right. When you run a Z report, which resets the cash register at the end of each day, a multi-digit number will usually be printed somewhere on that tape. The next time you Z the register, that number will advance by one digit. I noticed that even though the tapes were sequential in date, every other number was missing. This tipped me off that the register was being Z-ed twice a day! When I confronted my manager with the tapes, his look of panic spoke volumes.

    If you are doubting the honesty of any of your employees or managers, one way you can verify or eliminate your suspicion is by baiting the cash drawer. Slip an extra $20 bill in the drawer sometime during the day when they aren’t watching. If they don’t end up reporting at the end of their shift that they were $20 cash-over, I’ll do it a second time (just to make sure). If they don’t report it a second time, you should have no doubts that they are indeed, dishonest.

    NEVER accuse an employee or manger of stealing unless you catch them red-handed (actually stuffing money into their pockets). Even though the circumstantial evidence may be overwhelming, unless you actually catch them in the act, they are likely to deny your accusations, and will probably file a complaint against you with the department of labor! The brief moment of satisfaction you will gain from letting them know you are aware of what they’ve been doing, will be quickly overwhelmed by the legal predicament you will find yourself in. You will be far better off to not make accusations. Simply terminate their employment. In many states, you do not need to provide a reason as to why you are letting them go. When they ask for an explanation as to why you are firing them, simply say: I don’t need to give you a reason, I’m just letting you go, goodbye!

    Finally, don’t over look technology to help you with security. Surveillance cameras linked to a DVR (digital video recorder) can provide you with peace of mind, or evidence of theft. These systems have become very affordable, and many are easy to install. The value of these cameras go beyond having a video record of operations. The mere fact that employees understand that their activities are being video recorded, will usually discourage them from doing things that they might not think twice about, if no one was watching.

    I think it’s important to not be paranoid about employee theft. Certainly, you don’t want to be constantly obsessed with the suspicion that everyone is stealing from you. In reality, the majority of your employees are probably honest people. But, you would be wise to establish some simple safeguards, and maintain a watchful eye.

    [ad_2]

    Source by Ed Arvidson

    Views: 0

  • How Nootropics Make You A Better Entrepreneur

    [ad_1]

    Just imagine a pill you can take to enhance your points of view, increase your memory, and make you more productive. In it sounds like an ultimate life hack, you’re not the only one.

    There are pills that guarantee that out there, yet how they work is a little complicated.

    These pills are known as nootropics or smart drugs.

    So what are nootropics?

    Nootropics are a class of brain power enhancing supplements that are utilized to enhance focus and help to boost memory. Nootropics are regularly used to increase capacity to focus, help people concentrate more and reduce anxiety.

    You will often observe Nootropics called as “smart drugs” as they are connected with increased intelligence, focus and motivation.

    Be they are not at all like brilliant medications which can frequently bring about negative reactions or side effects with long term use. Nootropics are safe to use and pose a low risk of any side effects if used properly.

    Numerous nootropics have similar systems of working by improving communication between neurons in your brain, adjusting neurotransmitter levels or by balancing brain cell health.

    They also improve metabolism of your neurons, support neuroplasticity, or even support the development of new neurons and neurotransmitters.

    How Nootropics work?

    There are various sorts of Nootropic supplements accessible. Also, there are distinctive classifications and “families” of Nootropics, for example, Racetams and Ampakines.

    Each of these particular supplements work in different ways and have different working mechanism. Given this, there is not one answer to the question “How Do Nootropics Work?” rather a wide range of answers.

    There are however some basic ways in which nootropics work and modulate the neutrons in your brain. One of them is listed below

    Together, the neurotransmitters and the receptors make up a “framework.” There are an immense huge number of these neuronal frameworks inside the mind.

    What a Nootropic supplement does, generally, is to explicitly target and increase the proficiency of those frameworks which result in enhanced cognitive abilities.

    How Nootropics will make you a better entrepreneur?

    The initial step for an entrepreneur is to investigate what they are doing battling against. For some (myself included) it is to enhance focus and effectiveness during the working hours was my primary objective.

    Diehard business people working 18-hour days require to last longer during the day and work normally when sleep deprived.

    This is where nootropic role come into play. Below are the benefits of nootropics that will help you to become a better entrepreneur.

    1. Increase concentration

    Before you consider enhancing your memory capacities, you should first increase your concentration. Nootropics can help with that, particularly in case you can’t concentrate on a particular work over a longer period of time. This is a noteworthy issue with entrepreneurs who encounter inconvenience in concentrating for longer hours of work.

    2. Enhances memory

    It is easy to read and comprehend a specific topic but the vast majority discover it somewhat troublesome to recover data from their memory. Nootropics have appeared to have beneficial outcome on a man’s memory.

    It enhances and repairs all parts of your memory capacities, including the working memory and recall. It additionally supports brain cell development and enhances the connections between the neurons. Aside from these advantages, they additionally repair the neuron, which thusly gives a help in comprehension of data information and recalling it.

    3. Improves brain health

    With busy schedule and poor diet, out brain takes a genuine bashing. Nootropics not only enhance your memory and information investigation but also improves the overall health of brain. They increases oxygen stream to the brain and maintains neurons and brain cells which keeps the brainwaves casual and more effective.

    4. Better mood

    The primary reason behind why many individuals can’t concentrate and focus at a specific task is foul mood. A few studies demonstrate that improper eating habits and sleeping habits can affect your mood. Nootropics can boost and stimulate mood enhancing neuroreceptors which makes your mood better and helps you to concentrate more.

    Conclusion

    Being an entrepreneur is not an easy job. You have to think outside the box that will make your business grow. Nootropics can help you to concentrate more and help you make your product awesome. If with a single nootropic you do not see significant results, you can combine different nootropics to see greater results. This is known as nootropic stacks.

    [ad_2]

    Source by Ritika Singh

    Views: 0

  • Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? A Review of My Millionaire Mentor

    [ad_1]

    My Millionaire Mentor Review

    Who wants to be a millionaire? Everyone! And yes, this opportunity promises to make you one in a matter of months. But hey, don’t we know that if there is something that sounds too good to be true, it is likely to be not true? Whenever we see any opportunity that promises a lot of money very fast, and with minimal efforts, it is natural to feel a little skeptical about it. There are thousands of such scams on the internet which claim to let you into a secret which will make you a millionaire in a matter of months. But eventually, you just end up spending your precious time and your hopes are dashed when time passes by and you make no money at all.

    However, My Millionaire Mentor seems to be slightly different from all those false promises that are strewn around the internet. So let’s try and figure out whether this is actually a good opportunity or yet another internet money making scam.

    What is My Millionaire Mentor?

    My Millionaire Mentor is Ryan Matthew’s personal website where he offers to train fifty internet newbies and teach them a six step secret which will make them earn anything from $1000 to $5000 per day. Wow! That’s a lot of money, right? But what does one have to do in order to earn this kind of money? That is precisely what millionaire Ryan Matthews wants to teach you.

    He is going to personally coach the first fifty people who sign up for this program, and he promises to let them in on the secret which has made him earn around $11 million in just two years. He adds that in order to make that whopping amount of money, he had to work for only an hour per day! When you see his San Diego beach house and his neat set of supercars, it seems like a fantasy. And when he promises that you can have all of that, it seems to be an even more unlikely proposition.

    Ryan Matthews also adds that this process is completely risk free, and does not involve going to your friends and family to sell a particular product. He makes it very clear in his promotional video that you will not be a salesperson of any kind. Moreover, he guarantees that there is no way that you can lose money by participating in this program. So what is this program all about? Read on to find out more.

    Is My Millionaire Mentor A Good Opportunity?

    In the promotional video for the company, we find people from different walks of life thanking Ryan Matthews for completely transforming their lives. One instantly identifies with those people. All of us have debts and mortgages that we struggle to pay, even though some of us work on two jobs. We spend all our days working hard to pay off our debts, while the best times of our lives just pass us by. Who wouldn’t want to spend more time with their kids rather than working in office on a Saturday night? Moreover, there are so many other financial pressures that we have on our shoulders – like college funds, home loans, health worries – that we hardly find time to follow our dreams and live our lives to the fullest.

    Thus, when an opportunity like My Millionaire Mentor comes to us, it is absolutely alluring. But the thing is, the internet is full of many financial scams which claim to transform your lives, but end up taking money from you. All of us have been disappointed many times through various such programs that claim to make us millionaires but end up taking our own hard earned money.

    So we need to be very careful before getting into any such program which offers easy money. My Millionaire Mentor states it very clearly that it is a scheme which has long term returns. On the plus side, that means that your grandchildren can enjoy the fruits of your labor. However, on the other hand, it means that it will take some time before you can earn some real money for yourself.

    How Does My Millionaire Mentor Work?

    It is clear from the promotional video on the website that the product is basically a free traffic source that you will get unlimited access to if you become a member of this program. The other benefits include special coaching by Ryan Matthews over the phone. He will personally mentor you on how to best use his product and maximize the profits for yourself. Once you become a member of what Matthews calls a secret millionaire club, you will have access to the various tips and tricks that will help you to make money. It is also mentioned in the video that the way in which you will make money is 100% legal, moral and ethical.

    So once you have access to the free traffic source, you will get clients who will pay you $1000 to $5000 a day for sending them traffic over the internet. Internet traffic is basically all the clicks that lead people to different website. According to Ryan Matthews, he has access to clients who are ready to pay that much amount of money for access to your traffic. In effect, you will be an internet traffic broker who will work with millionaire Ryan Matthews to coordinate internet traffic and redirect it to your clients.

    Basically, it is an opportunity where you will be doing affiliate marketing. Affiliate marketing is an actual money making source on the web where you get paid for traffic that you send to your client’s website. And if you have access to a good traffic source which you can turn on or off at will, it is possible that you will make a lot of money online.

    There are six steps to making this work – but that is classified information which you will get access to once you become a part of this program.

    How Can You Make the First $500 Through My Millionaire Mentor?

    In the promotional video, Matthews promises you that once you become one of the private members of the My Millionaire Mentor program, you will earn $500 and much more in the first month. In fact, you can around $5000 a day, without even leaving the comfort of your home. And to top it all, you just need a computer with an internet connection to do this job.

    In order to become a private member, the entry fee is $1000. But in effect, you pay only $49 because you are refunded $500 immediately. You get your money back immediately, and Ryan Matthews guarantees that you don’t have to spend a penny more than $49 to get into this program.

    Matthews also tells that by becoming a private member, you will get to be a part of a highly regarded company that is going to be the next big billion dollar internet empire in times to come. Though it is a speculation, in the internet age, anything is possible.

    The process which Ryan Matthews is going to teach you is actually a very simple process which many people have used on the internet in order to make money. It is called affiliate marketing. Affiliate marketing is basically a process through which you send traffic to the websites of your clients. And for each click that leads a person to your client’s website from your source, you get paid a certain amount as commission. And if you have access to a source from where you can send millions of clicks to your clients, you will seriously earn a lot of money online. So, technically, My Millionaire Mentor is a concept that could actually earn if you serious money if Ryan Matthews actually handed out a free traffic source to you.

    Pros and Cons of My Millionaire Mentor

    It is evident that this is a program which appears to have some sort of risk. But then, that is life. There are certain risks that one has to take, especially if you want to be a millionaire.

    Technically, Ryan Matthews is asking for just $49 from you for getting access to a private group where you will be coached on the secrets of making money on the internet. This scheme does not have an MLM structure, and you need not sell anything. It is absolutely legal, and all you have to do is broker internet traffic.

    Moreover, once you sign up, you get an immediate return of $500, which is a very good proposition. If you really get that money, it is a fantastic deal. Especially since you could go on to make more money in following months.

    One of the cons of this entire program is that by watching the promotional video, you get to know very little about the process. There are many things which are not spelled out clearly, which makes it difficult to take the plunge and actually subscribe to the scheme and be a part of the millionaire mentor club.

    However, the testimonials from the various people who have tried this out spells out that there are people out there who are making money from this program. And that is exactly what makes you want to go ahead and try it.

    Another con of this program is that earning money through affiliate marketing can sometimes be a very slow process. But this is something that Matthews tells you in the promotional video itself. It is a long term investment plan whereby you will take some time to earn money.

    But on the other hand, Ryan Matthews is also promising to let you on into a secret six-step process which will make the money making process much faster. So once become a part of the secret millionaire club and get to know the secret process which gives you access to more traffic, you might be able to make serious money online. And the success stories that are shared in the promotional video clearly say that people are making money quite fast. In fact, one woman said that she made more money through My Millionaire Mentor in two months than she had made in two years.

    Now, that is something!

    The biggest minus of this entire project is previous experience. Whenever we hear about something that promises to give us a lot of money without working hard, it raises our suspicions. Also, there are thousands of scams on the internet which make a fool of people who do not have sufficient knowledge about the topic and subscribe to various programs hoping to make money. In the end, they realize that all of it was a scam.

    Conclusion

    The good thing about My Millionaire Mentor is that you get to see people for whom this process has worked, and that tends to give you some courage to go ahead and take the plunge. What you need to do is hear Ryan Matthews for yourself. Go to his website and have a look at his promotional video. If you feel that what he is saying is worth giving a try, you can go ahead and become a private member of the millionaire club. It is a conscious decision that you need to take for yourself, now that you already know the pros and cons of the program.

    If you think that this is yet another money-making scam on the internet, don’t sign up for it. However, if you think that this program really has the potential to completely turn your life around, go ahead and become one of the protégés of Ryan Matthews. After all, every one of us dreams of having a Lamborghini parked at our garage, and a wonderful, spacious home from where we can see the sunset with our loved ones. There are some dreams that can be fulfilled when you become a millionaire, and if you are a person who nurses such dreams, you might want to try out My Millionaire Mentor to see what’s in store for you.

    [ad_2]

    Source by David Morgan

    Views: 0

  • Recreating Lindsey Buckingham’s Signature Sounds – Big Love

    [ad_1]

    One of the less well known guitarists of the last entry is Lindsey Buckingham of Fleetwood Mac. Newer guitarists may not be familiar with Buckingham, but his style and sound inspired several generations of guitarists. He’s probably most well known for hist signing, songwriting and production skills, but his guitar playing was instrumental in Fleetwood Mac’s success, so it’s worth taking a look at. I’m going to take a look at his sound and give you an idea of the kind of setup that’s required to reproduce some of his signature sounds.

    The first thing that makes Buckingham so unique is the fact that he uses a fingerpicking style. Originally a Banjo player, Lindsey Buckingham made the transition to guitar, and his virtuoso performances are a signature sound of Fleetwood Mac. Buckingham plays bass lines with his thumb while he uses the other fingers to voice melodies and sweeping arpeggios. The resultant music is truly original and inspiring.

    Looking at his setup, one thing that you’ll notice is that he has a truly unique axe. His Turner electric is not a guitar that has much fame, outside of Lindsey Buckingham. It’s shape, distinctly violin like, is one of the most unique features of the guitar. You will also find Buckingham playing an acoustic on various tracks. There’s nothing especially important to be said about his acoustic, other than the way he plays the instrument.

    There’s one performance in specific that I’d like to analyze. During one particular Fleetwood Mac reunion, back in 1997, Buckingham performed the song “Big Love”, playing a Gibson Chet Atkins sold-body nylon string guitar. The reason that I’ve chosen this one is because of the unique sound that he got using that particular guitar. You can actually recreate this sound, even if you don’t have this particular axe. Using your acoustic electric guitar, I will show you how to simulate this sound using your guitar and a few simple effects.

    In order to simulate this sound, you’re going to need delay and reverb. If you have an amp with these effects built in, that will do just fine. For the delay time, you’re going to want to set it around 125 milliseconds. You’ll need to be able to adjust the blend on the delay, adjusting it to be mostly the direct signal. This is important because when you’re soloing and playing intricate melodies, you don’t want the delayed notes muddying down the sound you’re trying to create. If you’re using a delay unit, such as those built in to some amplifiers, that only allows you to adjust the delay time by tapping a button, you may find it difficult to get the exact sound that I’m trying to teach. You can play around with the settings to see if you can get a sound that’s similar or just use this guide as a way to get ideas for new sounds.

    Another adjustment that you may want to consider, if you have a nice delay, is to roll off some of the high end from the delayed signal. Again, this is to make sure that your original notes really sing through. As for your reverb, you’re going to want to reduce the size of the room to around 35 percent. If you’re not allowed to change the room size, don’t worry, just know this is going to be more of a creative exercise for you, rather than an all out recreation of the original sounds of Buckingham. Finally, you’re going to want to roll out a good bit of the midrange from your amplifier (or board if you’re going directly into one). This is going to keep things crisp and clear when you’re really laying on the notes.

    While using built in effects are limiting, you can get a unique sound using this guide. For those with a nice effects board or pedals that allow them to adjust all of these settings, you’ll find a deep airy sound is the result of these settings. This is great to add some depth to a track where the main guitar part is played on an acoustic. If you haven’t heard the version of “Big Love” that I’m talking about, get on the net and look for videos or recordings from the ’97 Fleetwood Mac reunion show. It’s truly worth your time & is a great performance! Good luck & happy guitarring!

    [ad_2]

    Source by John T Halbert

    Views: 0

  • Giving a Great "Walk Around" Sales Presentation

    [ad_1]

    Salespeople should know that a walk around isn’t just a presentation, it is a chance to discover the customer’s needs and turn your product or services features into a benefit for that customer.

    Learning good selling techniques takes practice and learning how to give a “walk around” sales presentation is essential to the sales process.

    An excellent walk around presentation is not a canned presentation. It has been said, “A good walk around presentation doesn’t work because it’s canned; it got canned because it works.” That’s what a walk around should be – not canned, but planned. Salespeople need to know where they are going all the time. Hopefully they can help guide the customer down the Road to the Sale.

    Before we can attempt a presentation we must understand what a “feature” is and what a “benefit” is. A feature is what something is – a benefit is what something does. Let’s use automobile sales as an example. So let’s look at some car sales techniques. A “walk around” occurs when a salesperson pulls a vehicle out of the line of cars in front of the dealership. The salesperson opens the doors, the trunk, and the hood. They turn on the car and get the A/C running in the summertime (or the heater in the winter time). They take the customer and tell them about the vehicle as they walk around it.

    The aerodynamic styling of a vehicle is a feature; great gas mileage and a quiet ride are the resulting benefits. A lot of salespeople are good at reciting features, but not at explaining why the customer needs them – and this is for two reasons. One is they don’t know enough about the car and the other is they did a poor job qualifying the customer’s needs. Ask questions of your customer. Ask what they want from their next vehicle and listen to what is said.

    How can a salesperson enthusiastically talk about the double steel cargo box if they don’t know what the customer is going to use the vehicle for? They can’t.

    In a typical selling situation a salesperson might say something like, “Yes sir, this car has everything you’re looking for: a fuel efficient engine and a hands-free Bluetooth communications system. It also has ABS brakes, limited slip rear axle, and terrain management.” Sounds all well and good, right? Wrong. There is nothing your salesperson has told this customer that 1,500 other salespeople and brochures and Internet research haven’t already told him.

    So the customer looks at the salesperson like a deer in the headlights. He doesn’t know what he is what he is supposed to say, except what he is probably thinking, “I can see all of these options, Mr. Salesperson. Tell me something I don’t know.” You see, when the salesperson recites his or her cornucopia of knowledge, it isn’t a question so it doesn’t really move the sale forward. He is just repeating what the customer told him he wanted.

    The customer’s only response is, “Yes, Mr. Salesperson, I can see it has everything I asked for. How much is it?” Or worse yet, the customer may say nothing. The worst thing that can enter a walk around presentation is silence. When there is silence, there is pressure and in the selling process, we want no pressure. As I mentioned many times, the only common ground a customer has is the price. When you stop talking, the only thing they can say is how much… or goodbye.

    To do an excellent walk around, salespeople need to remember the thing the customer wants to know more than anything, “What will it do for me?” Until you tell customer that answer, then he is probably isn’t listening.

    Back to the walk around – how long did it take me to recite the options above, 30 seconds? What do I do now? I am out of things to say. Obviously there are lots of options and I could probably go on for a while, but even if I could memorize them all on every model, the customer will be yawning. Why? Because he wants to know what it will do for him. If salespeople are just going to recite options, they would be better off to hand the customer a brochure and send him on his way. The brochure is better than a salesperson will ever be at features. They break down the passenger compartment to cubic inches for heaven’s sake! When it comes right down to it, does the customer even care that there is 28 inches of legroom? No. But he will be interested to know that, “Because of the transverse mounted engine, Mr. Customer, when you and your family take that trip to Colorado this summer you can really stretch out your legs!” That is how you sell legroom. Note: Without asking good questions, how could you make the above statement? But here’s the good news: you can make that statement even more powerful in two ways – by moving the sale forward and by asking for the order.

    There are many ways to move the sale forward, but here are a few. These are simple phrases that keep the customer following you:

    “Let me show you this feature on your new Ford Explorer.”

    “Let me show you this,”

    “Let me show you one more thing,”

    “Great, follow me.”

    Ask for the order, it is quite simple, for example:

    “That’s a feature I’m sure you’d like, isn’t it?” The customer says, “Yeah!” The salesperson says, “Great, follow me,” or “Great, now let me show you one more thing.”

    The above question is one which you should already know the answer. Use it with a feature the customer wants, for example, seat belts, air bags, crumple zones, etc. A customer just won’t say no to seat belts.

    During the sale you are always closing — in sales terminology that means you are always asking the customer for the order. For example, a very successful salesman in a 20-minute presentation will ask the customer in several different ways, in more than a dozen times if they want to buy the vehicle.

    Some of the best closing techniques to use during a sale are called tie downs. Some call them trial closes. A tie down is simply a question at the end of a statement that demands a response. Instead of saying, “Those airbags are a wonderful feature.” In the eyes of a customer, this is just an opinion. But, if I added, “Aren’t they?” to the end of that statement, it forces the customer to respond, hopefully in a positive way.

    Or, “On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the highest rating, how would you rate this vehicle so far? What would it take to make that number a 10?”

    However, sometimes a customer may say something that implies that they don’t like the vehicle. For example, “Oh, that looks like something else that will break.”

    One way to handle these “objections” is to address the issue with the “Feel, Felt, Found” response. For example, you might respond by saying, “I can see why you might feel that. A lot of people have felt the same way, but once you’ve found out the engineering behind, you’ll see how beneficial this can be for you.”

    These few tips will build the foundation for a confident walk around presentation.

    – Learn your product inside and out, research what’s being said about your product on the internet.

    – Get to know your customer’s needs in the initial greeting and qualification.

    – Present with confidence and tie the features back to their needs.

    – Help make their needs become their wants.

    – Remember to refer to competitive brands and create value.

    – Take full advantage of your product expertise when doing a walk around presentation and SELL yourself and your product.

    And remember, selling is a process of listening to customer needs, finding solutions to their needs, building value you in your product or service, and giving them an opportunity to buy that product or service that serves their needs!

    [ad_2]

    Source by Vincent Hennigan

    Views: 0

  • Fugazi – 5 Dollar Shows, 10 Dollar Albums And 1,000,000 Dollar Passion

    [ad_1]

    Few bands in recent years have enjoyed the critical acclaim that this influential rock band has received. Formed in 1987 by the remnants of crucial hardcore bands Embrace and Rites of Spring, this band has reached the title of underground legends. This reputation is not the result of their evolution of hardcore punk and their experimentation with several other musical genres but of their ethics and ideals. This essay’s purpose is to expose one of the best bands of the American underground. Fugazi is composed of vocalist and guitarist Ian Mackaye, vocalist and guitarist Guy Picciotto, bassist Joe Lally, and drummer Brendan Canty.

    To start to chronicle Fugazi’s history, one must first look at their hardcore roots. Ian Mackaye was the vocalist of the iconic and often called “definitive” hardcore punk band Minor Threat formed in 1980. Minor Threat has a legendary status in the punk scene because of their music, their ideas and their approach. After Minor Threat disbanded in 1983, Mackaye went to form Embrace in 1985. Meanwhile, Guy Picciotto was part of Rites of Spring, often called the “first and definitive emocore band,” formed in 1984. These two influential bands were part of the movement known as “Revolution Summer,” an attempt to change the punk scene to more melodic music and introspective lyrics; several hardcore bands from the 80’s had attracted a lot of violence and intolerance because of their aggressive music and raging lyrics. The two bands were short-lived, and their members joined other groups. Ian Mackaye then formed a trio with Joe Lally and Colin Sears, who left and was replaced by Brendan Canty. Fugazi is a Vietnam acronym for bad combat scenarios that stands for F*cked Up, Got Ambushed, Zipped In. After a few shows they decided to add Picciotto into the mix and continued playing for several years.

    Fugazi are very difficult to classify and labeling them into a single genre is nearly impossible and, in some ways, insulting. Their music integrates elements of punk, hardcore, noise rock, and even soul, with innovative rhythms influenced by funk, jazz, reggae and dub. In fact, they have been categorized as post punk and post hardcore by many critics because their music is an evolution, progression and reaction to hardcore punk. This band is also notable because of the interlocking guitars of Picciotto and Mackaye, which stay in a balance as equals, unlike most bands that have a leading guitar and a rhythm guitar. Also, the contrast in both guitarists singing styles is fascinating. Mackaye’s hardcore roots make his singing be way more straightforward and anthem-like while Picciotto prefers a more abstract way of singing. Their experimental sounds have influenced many bands, like At the Drive-In and are regarded as one of the best bands of the last twenty years.

    Just as famous as their groundbreaking music are their ethics and ideals. They’re one of those hard-to-find bands that, while keeping their DIY punk ethics, still achieved mainstream success. They normally charged form $5 to $10 per show and insisted that their shows be open for everybody, age notwithstanding. They don’t sell merchandise like posters, pins, patches or t-shirts because they thought that having a person managing merchandise involved more costs and they wanted to keep the prices of their albums and shows at a minimum. At their shows, Fugazi encouraged the underage fans to wear black exes on their hands to stop them from consuming alcohol, particularly, a tradition created by Mackaye during his days at Teen Idles, a band older than Minor Threat. Much of Fugazi’s reputation comes from word of mouth. They had the reputation of powerful, cathartic shows and an eagerness to play anywhere. Another famous characteristic of Fugazi is that they, unlike most bands from their time, discouraged slam dancing, fist fights, and moshpits during their shows and are ready to stop playing and ask the problematic people to step out with their money back so they can continue their show.

    Fugazi have proved to be one of the most revered bands in the American Indie and Punk scenes because of their contribution to music. Just the fact that they never sold out when they had a myriad chances proves how valuable their music was for them, an admirable quality. In this conformist and corporative world where sounds are synthesized and copied to manipulate the masses, those underdogs that rebel against the mainstream and seek to achieve musical pleasure are the ones that are worth listening to. Many bands have taken Fugazi’s example but no band will ever compare to the greatness that was Fugazi, the band that could.

    [ad_2]

    Source by Juan Diego Alvarado

    Views: 0

  • How To Sell More Affiliate Products As A Blogger

    [ad_1]

    As a blogger, if you are selling affiliate products in a bid to maximize your passive income potential, there may be several things that you could be doing to improve it even more.

    Selling affiliate products allows you to put the links on your blog and receive commission whenever somebody buys that products or other products through clicking the link on your site.

    Here are some of the ways you can sell more affiliate products as a blogger.

    Make It Personal

    It has been statistically proven that people are much more likely to buy (or avoid) something after reading a personal review. With that in mind, rather than just posting some objective comments about the products you are promoting as an affiliate buy them and try it out for yourself.

    You can then write about what you liked and didn’t like, and people who follow your blog religiously will really value your thoughts. You could even contact the seller and come to an agreement regarding free trial products for you to review on your blog.

    Write About Other Things

    If everything you ever write is centered around a product and why other people should buy it, you will struggle to make much money through affiliate marketing.

    People want to read something that sounds genuine, so only review and promote the products that you really believe in. Your blog will stand out and sound more real, and you’ll be able to benefit from quality buyers and readers.

    Give Things Away

    This can vary depending on what your blog is about, but you can give away free guides, tutorials, checklists, newsletters, magazines, or even physical goods sent out in the post. By giving free things away on your blog as well as promoting or reviewing the pricey items for sale, your readers will come to regard your blog as something fun and exciting, rather than just a platform for trying to get commission from them.

    Offer Something Extra

    If you really want people to buy the item through your blog rather than through the website of another affiliate marketer, you’ll need to offer something extra. People will buy without hesitation if they feel like they’re getting a really good deal. This could be your own personal guide to using the item, or it could be a small extra that you like to use with it and will send out to all buyers separately.

    [ad_2]

    Source by Jon Allo

    Views: 0

  • Addiction To Unrequited Love

    [ad_1]

    The Torchbearer – S/he will love me one day

    It sounds silly for one to be addicted to unrequited love, but it can sometimes be the result of growing up in a household where love was either conditional or not consistent. As a child, the “torchbearer,” may have been always trying to win the love, praise or affection from a parent (or someone else influential) who was unavailable, abusive or failed to provide proper nurturing…. or the child could have witnessed one parent in a sort of unrequited love relationship with the other and could have taken that energy on. If it wasn’t an issue of childhood environment, then possibly some sort of other trauma occurred to upset the torchbearer’s self-esteem and their ability to feel safe receiving love. It can also result from a sudden and unexpected separation, betrayal, health, or appearance issue.

    At an existential level, the torchbearer may have developed a belief that they are not worthy of love and they may find themselves attracted to love situations that seem to keep them stuck in this dynamic: loving someone, but not able to fully receive love back. Although the person feels unworthy of love on some level, often they know they are worthy on another level, which the torchbearer then may become confused as to why they stay addicted to an unavailable person. The relationship then becomes about fantasy, idealization, avoidance, or a love-hate relationship ensues where the addict both loves and disapproves of the object of their devotion.

    According to love addiction expert Susan Peabody, the main categories of love addictions include:

    • obsessed love addicts: obsess and can’t let go even if their partners are unavailable or abusive
    • codependent love addiction: needy to please partner for sense of self
    • narcissistic love addicts: take advantage of their partner and can act disinterested, selfish or abusive and yet still feel addicted to partner and can’t let go
    • ambivalent love addicts: this category includes unrequited love addicts (also known as “torch-bearers”), saboteurs, seductive withholders, and romance addicts. The main goal through this kind of love addiction is the avoidance of true deep emotional intimacy and bonding. These addicts crave love and affection, but are afraid to get too close at the same time.

    Unrequited love addicts are part of the category of Ambivalent Love Addicts. Susan Peabody was the first to create the term “Ambivalent Love Addiction”. Her book “Addiction to Love: Overcoming Obsession and Dependency in Relationships,” is an amazing book for anyone wishing to learn more about love addiction.

    To be an ambivalent love addict, or torchbearer, means that one deeply craves love, intimacy, commitment, and unconditional love. However, at the same time, one has fears of relating deeply to another person. Such love addicts can end up pushing love away or holding it at a distance. Subconsciously, it can feel much safer for these individuals to love someone who isn’t fully there or who doesn’t want a full-on commitment. Picking an individual who is married, committed to another, distant, a player, a saboteur, or a sex addict may act to help the torchbearer avoid a true relationship. Some torchbearers end up addicted to friends or colleagues and hope the relationship will become something more.

    With many of the torchbearers that I have read, I find there is usually an excuse to continue chasing the love interest. However, there is also always a counterproductive excuse for never letting the love interest know their real feelings. It is even possible that if the object of infatuation actually returned affection or expressed desire for commitment towards the love addict, the love addict might not crave the interest anymore. One popular excuse that I have heard reads something like: “getting what I wanted or asked for took too long, therefore I no longer trust the love interest anymore, so I no longer want a relationship.” Once the love interest gives up, separation anxiety sets in again. Why does this occur? An illusion has been broken and the person idolized has become more human and less of a challenge to the ego.

    The torchbearer runs the risk that even if they obtain the object of their desire they may not achieve the closeness or intimacy they desire unless they change why they were addicted in the first place. Sometimes the addiction simply changes. An addict may transform from a torchbearer into a seductive withholder. They can even start becoming a codependent love addict if the once unrequited love relationship begins to become real.

    So, how do you know if you are addicted to unrequited love?

    What are the symptoms? The symptoms listed below are not comprehensive, but ones I typically see with clients (usually women):

    • Do you obsess over or find yourself only attracted to love interests who are not available in some way or who are married, playing you, who are “just friends,” or have left you?
    • Do you fear communication or to let the person know your interest in them, feelings, and other basic questions for fear of rejection or to keep the fantasy going? Or do you find yourself communicating but unable to accept a lack of response or a non-commital response without hoping if you wait long enough you will be wholly wanted?
    • Do you suffer in silence while you hold adoration towards someone who doesn’t really know? Some unrequited love addicts pursue their interests opening and ardently, but others can hold torches for people who they will not let themselves get close to nor let themselves be revealed in any real way.
    • Do you expect your love interest to be psychic/empathic and to just know and interpret your feelings and needs, even though there has been no grounded communication? Are you living out your relationship psychically or vicariously through “signs” or empathic feelings that the other person may be thinking about you, even if there is no contact?
    • Do you find yourself always hoping and waiting for the other person to make an interest in you known?
    • Can you never feel “close” in a real way to the person you are holding a torch for?
    • Are you always living out the relationship in your head?
    • Are you continually asking yourself many questions, wondering about the other person feelings and intentions (or potential future intentions) without ever grounding anything to test to see if any fantasies are real?
    • Do you have other addictions, such as to sex, psychics, alcohol etc?
    • Do you feel you cannot let go of the love interest even though it is not making you feel loved? Do feel powerless to stop at will.
    • Is the preoccupation with this interest having a more negative affect on you spiritually, financially and other ways than positive? In the end, are you losing more than you gain?
    • Do you have a history of being hurt or obsessing on lack of love, attention or approval by a parent or someone else influential in your earlier life?
    • For those with less intense expressions of this addiction: are you confused why you only seem to attract or are attracted to unavailable people or people who are not 100% wanting a relationship? And with this, do you feel bored with people who are into you or once a relationship starts to develop? Does it seem that all the people who would be right and loving towards you, you cannot “fall in love” with?

    If you have an “interest” that you crave but are afraid to reach out to in any real and genuine way for fear of rejection, then you might be addicted to unrequited love. You may also be addicted if there is an underlying knowledge that expressing your wants and needs would not be appropriate. I’ve talked to many clients who are totally engaged with these types of interests, sometimes even sexually. But, usually they know on some level there are certain things they cannot ask/dare put forward cause the relationship is casual though they want something more. Though the “craving” is not always required, this article is mostly written for the hard core unrequited love addict.

    Here is an example of one kind of non-communicative unrequited love addict who does have some relationship and interaction with her love interest:

    A woman starts to like an attractive man. They meet and there is some flirting — the man seems interested to the woman. Information is exchanged followed by mixed signals that mark the relationship. The woman starts obsessing and fantasizing about having a relationship with the man. However, the man won’t make a clear move and the woman ends up doing most of the contacting to keep interaction ongoing. The woman acts casual because she wants the man to make his interest known first. She is getting some cues of affection and indication of interest, but it’s kept superficial and she is always unsure. This goes on for some time, sometimes months, and she starts thinking “Does this guy really want a relationship or am I just casual or a friend?” Despite feeling a sense of unknowing and distress, the woman will never risk asking to find out. She starts asking advice from other friends who tell her to forget about the man, but she hangs on in hope he will ask for a real date or commitment or show he cares.

    The man is simply not putting out vibe of wanting a full-on relationship. However, she starts to fantasize that maybe he is just scared, can’t communicate or is insecure. She fantasizes that he will start to be more demonstrative or want something more if she can just hang in or never upset the status quo. She even wonders, “should I say something or make a move”, but something inside is telling her it’s not safe to tell this person how she feels because they are not on the same page, so she withholds keeps holding a torch for this person. She finds out the man has started to pursue someone else and she feels upset and feels betrayed. But, still, she has never had clear indication they are in a “relationship.”

    In the worst cases of unrequited love addiction I have seen, the client is addicted to psychics, using spell casters to cast spells to make their love more available, or are even asking for healing sessions on the person they are addicted to hoping healing something in their love interest will change the reality of what is going on.

    What Can You Do If This Sounds Like You?

    Often, I see two main themes running in these relationships: fear of true communication (or fear of accepting a communication or lack there of), and fear of vulnerability & rejection. Many times I also recommend torchbearers learn how to set boundaries and how to respect others boundaries. If the torchbearer is holding on waiting for a “sign” or demonstration from the love object, afraid of giving up, learning communication would help with getting out of fantasizing a relationship and making it more real. In the least, the torchbearer can get closure, if the love addict’s desires are not reciprocated.

    Getting closure isn’t always an easy thing for a love addict. It is often considered to be a harsh rejection. Many frightened unrequited love addicts wish to avoid being hurt at all costs. However, with this cost, these love addicts avoid true intimacy and relationships.

    Most unrequited love clients I work with have a shut down throat chakra. They may have been raised or learned through some experience that expressing feelings or needs is a burden on others, a sign of weakness, inferiority or something to be afraid of. Codependent types are afraid to cause any sort of confrontation or rejection for themselves. However, the only way out is through. The crux is that this dynamic is used to avoid another hurt or rejection and this continues the cycle of avoiding true commitment, intimacy and bonding.

    Step 1: Communication With Yourself

    The first step is for the torchbearers to ask themselves what they truly want from a relationship. What is their vision of how they want to be loved and committed to? This step may be one of the hardest. The unrequited love addict may be so used to avoiding confrontation that asking them to figure out what they want and need seems strange. Torchbearers ask themselves “How do I get someone who doesn’t care to do so? How can I be better? More lovable?” Simply leaving an unrequited love may not solve the problem either. It may just transfer the love addiction from one of pursuing the unrequited love interest to holding a torch and suffering in silence while pining after the loss. They may remain stuck, wondering if maybe this person is still missing them or thinking of them and it gives them hope for reconciliation.

    Step 2: Communication With Your Love Interest

    If communication is possible to ask for closure, this is the next step. I recommend asking in direct ways and not just looking for “signs.” State what you want out of love and a relationship, and ask the object of your affection if they feel they will ever be able to give it. Risk hearing the truth and risk rejection. This helps break the fantasy and though may be incredibly painful, it is the next step towards risking true intimacy and attracting the right relationship and breaking through all the fears that prevent it from coming. The whole idea of love addiction is the belief that without love one is nothing. If one can risk losing love and still see themselves as whole, then one can start going into relationships with sense of self as a sole identity which another can complement, rather than feeling another will complete them.

    Fear of intimacy (getting to know someone deeply), commitment, communication, rejection, boundaries, and confrontation needs to be challenged. Love addicts can also seem like perpetual victims or trauma junkies. So healing the need to be a victim is key too.

    Taking on the challenge of learning to set boundaries, risk confrontation and rejection, to communicate ones wants and needs (and listening to another’s – which this might be the real fear) may seem overwhelming. But, it is the only way out. All of this should be targeted, in addition to working on childhood issues, which implanted some of these fears and patterns.

    Step 3: Accepting What Is Communicated Back or Any Lack Of A Response

    Sometimes, the love addict at this stage may have been totally clear with their love interest what they want and they still feeling or receiving mixed signals. The person of their infatuation may be ambivalent, stringing them along, or afraid to just be honest and give them the closure they need. Sometimes there may be a lack of response — ie: an email is sent to the love object who appears to be avoiding sending a response back. In these cases, aim for setting a boundary for yourself on how long you will wait for what you need and stick to it. Be willing to recognize when you need to either end a relationship or at least bring it down to a more casual and detached level while you pursue other options.

    For those who find they are always making clear what they want and are still waiting to receive it or feeling unheard, the lesson may be in knowing when its time to stop voicing your needs and wants realizing they will not be met or cared for. Just affirm to yourself as much as you can that you can and are willing to find someone who can meet your wants and needs.

    Step 4: Changing and Challenging One’s Views on Love

    I also recommend changing how one views love. There is something self-absorbed in all the withholding and holding on. It is focused on fear and self-protection instead of love or generosity and true interest in another person and their needs and feelings. Many love addicts actually fool themselves into thinking their co-dependence is proof that they are being more loving than anything else. However, love is about extending and exposing oneself in the face of rejection and providing a safe and open place for someone else to extend and expose themselves. Love is not manipulative, wanting to change people or situations or waiting for such situations or people to change.

    Love is not about being a martyr either. If you can’t take a risk to know anyone else or have them tell you their wants and needs, or accept or listen when they are not on the same page, how can you expect someone to care and listen concerning your own wants and needs?

    Not all unrequited love addicts are afraid to state their wants, needs, and boundaries. But, often what can happen is the torchbearer is always stating needs and boundaries and they are not listening to what is being conveyed back. They keep hoping the love object will change, mature, or outgrow his detached stance.

    A Few Self-Help Healing Tools

    While one can always benefit from professional therapies, coaching, and alternative healing sessions geared towards transmuting thought patterns, there are a few healing tools that can be used to assist recovery from love addictions (feel free to look for others as I only mention a few here).

    If one has ever used “flower essences” before (a form of homeopathy), Australian Bush Flower Essences (www.abfeusa.com for more information) has a “Relationship Essence” which contains the following:

    • Boab: helps bring change, helps clears negative core patterns that are rooted in family and which are inherited. Can also help clear negative lines of karma that exist between individuals and past life influence.
    • Bluebell: is for those who cut themselves off from their feelings and helps to open the heart and to disolve greed and rigidity. Emotions are present but withheld and there is even fear of expressing positive emotions such as joy and love, etc through operation of fear that there is just not enough and they can’t survive if they let go of all they hold onto.
    • Bottlebrush: helps one to resolve mother issues and helps one embrace major life changes. It brushes away the past allowing individuals to move on and go forward.
    • Bush Gardenia: helps one to renew passion and interest in relationships. Helps with intimacy, and resolving where there is too much self-interest or lack of awareness in a partnership.
    • Dagger Hakea: Is for helping on to release resentments, bitterness and grudges.
    • Flannel Flower: is for those who fear emotional or physical intimacy, getting too close and who have a hard time maintaining personal boundaries. Helps one to garner trust to express ones innermost feelings.
    • Red Helmet Orchid: Helps for resolving father issues, probelms with confrontation or authority.
    • Red Suva Frangipani: Is for the rocky relationship that is challenged and is also for resolving deep sense of loss and sadness when a relationship is in trouble or has ended. Helps to heal that feeling of Wedding Bush: Is for issues with commitment to a relationship, job, goal etc. It can be used for individuals who tend to flit from one relationship to another, or for those who leave relationships when the crush phase or initial attraction has diminished.

    A book I highly recommend is Addiction to Love: Overcoming Obsession and Dependency in Relationships by Susan Peabody (co-founder of LAA).

    Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is another tool that can help with love addictions. EFT can be easy to learn for free from demonstrations on YouTube or free downloads on various sites.

    [ad_2]

    Source by Mandy Peterson

    Views: 0

  • Shamanic Healing Through Sounds

    [ad_1]

    Shamanism, often considered to be the oldest of the healing professions, makes use of voice, drum, and rattles to communicate with the spirit world, seeking its positive healing energy for a patient. The human voice is the most common means used to summon the spirit worlds.

    In our Native American cultures, specific ‘songs’ are used for healing and these are passed down from one generation to the next. Each culture, having its own traditions, also has its songs.

    When one first hears a shaman’s song, one can’t help but feel the words all sound the same. Much of this may be due to the imitation in movies and television programs. The standard song appears to be “Ah Hey Ya” or something similar to “Ye Ha No Ha.” A careful listening reveals the sounds are the vowel sounds of A, E, I O, and U. During the chanting of these sounds; the sound of each vowel is elongated and is sung with specific intent-the intent to heal an ill patient. Each vowel has its own meaning.

    As tradition dictates, the four directions are acknowledged. The vowel A represents Earth and refers to the direction North. E represents Air and the direction of East; I represents Fire and the direction South, O represents water and the direction West. The vowel of O represents the aether and significantly it refers to being about. Once the four directions and the aether are recognized, the vowel sounds shift in use and meaning. The vowel sound of A is for purification while I emphasizes our relationship to all things (living and nonliving), E, brings a connection to the spirit world, and U takes the shaman into the spirit’s presence. O invokes the idea of innocence.

    During the singing, the shaman may accompany himself with a drum beat or the beat of a rattle. A helper may beat the drum or shake the rattles. During this time, the shaman may dance around the patient.

    Because of modern science, we have a better understanding of what the physical aspects of sound have on the human being. Simply, all things are vibrating molecules. When we are ill, those vibrations get out of sync. The shaman and his chanting and his drums connect to that vibration and realign the natural harmonics of the body; thus, allowing it to heal itself.

    Norman W Wilson, PhD

    [ad_2]

    Source by Norman W. Wilson, Ph.D

    Views: 0