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  • Timeshare Sales Techniques – The Statement of Intent

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    The statement of intent is an excellent sales tool for establishing a number of things right at the beginning of your sales presentation. Firstly and most importantly it is used to calm your clients down and make them feel more comfortable about being on a Timeshare or Holiday Club presentation.

    Once you have collected your clients from the reception, have them seated correctly in the warm up area and ordered their drinks, you should give them what is known in the Timeshare Industry as “The Statement of Intent”. Or “Breaking of the pact”

    Your clients are probably very nervous, either because of a past personal experience on a Timeshare presentation, or because of all the bad press and warnings they have read or heard about what happens when you attend a Timeshare sales presentation.

    The easiest way to alleviate their fears is let them know exactly what is going to happen during their presentation. People only fear the unknown. So if you let them know what to expect and in what order. They will normally calm down immediately.

    A good statement of intent should go something like this:

    “Ok John and Mary, while we’re waiting for our drinks to arrive let me tell you exactly what’s going to happen while you’re with me here today”. “Firstly I’m going to ask you to help me with a brief holiday survey about where you’ve been in the past, where you would like to go in the future, and what you’ve liked or disliked about some of the holidays you’ve taken in the past. It’s a very important part of my job as the information people like you give us, help my company to keep up to date with the ever changing holiday trends and stay ahead of the competition, then I’m going to show you around the resort and you will see why we now have so many members in my holiday club and you’ll realise the benefits that my members get from being part of such a large and well established holiday company, at the end of my presentation you will be given the option of either saying no thanks, in which case I will make sure you get any gifts you have been promised and a taxi back to your hotel, or you can choose to join the other thousands of families who said yes and are now enjoying the many benefits of being part of my club and I will make sure my manager is available to sort out the best possible deal at the best possible price, either way the choice will be yours.” “All I ask is that you allow me to do a full presentation and answer all your questions before you make your choice.” “Is that fair enough?”

    Now get all parties to agree and shake all their hands. At this point you must confirm that they are OK for time, that they’re not rushing of to meet any one in half an hour and they haven’t left Grandma alone on the beach in full sunshine.

    Apart from relaxing your clients and making them more open minded, you will have also got rid of the time problem. If they start pushing you to speed things up you can just remind them that they agreed to allow you to do a full presentation and you shook hands on it.

    Your clients will have agreed to give you at least ninety minutes. It’s up to you to turn that ninety minutes into a three hour presentation that ends in a deal!

    They won’t even notice the time if you, entertain them, win them over, and close them using the “Simple Selling Skills” you’ll be learning when you keep dropping by my site on a weekly basis.

    See you next week.

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    Source by Alan Roy Hocking

    Views: 0

  • Welding Jobs: Ideas You Can Use At Home To Make Money Welding (No Boss While You Make $100,000)

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    What if you could make $100,000 a year welding from home?

    What if you could make even an extra $500 a month from home, using your current skills? If you are a welder with basic welding skills and you are between jobs or you are being under paid in your current job, it might be worth your time to read this article – let’s think outside the box for just a minute on how you can make money welding from home.

    From Home Welding # 1:

    Teaching or tutoring any skill is a very profitable business. In any town of any size you’ll see at least one tutoring business in a strip mall brick and mortar location. In that same town will be at least a dozen other tutors working from home, making good money.

    Yes, most of the time they are tutoring math and reading to students. Lean back and think about what skills you have that can also be used in a tutoring business you can set up and milk cash from, like milk from a cow.

    Let’s say you are good enough with TIG to weld razor blades or pop can butts.

    If you can teach a non welder to operate a TIG torch good enough to go on and practice on their own at their home in about 3 hours of your hands on theirs – they will pay up to $100 an hour for 3 hours of TIG instruction. Just 2 students a day would bring you $100,000 a year. If you think I’m kidding I’m NOT! There are many reasons why education is so valuable – and that includes intense, focused tutoring in welding.

    6G pipe welding is the highest paid of all welding certifications – most 6G welders make $100k to $300k a year – and demand is crazy. However, if you are a 6G welder and you want to stay home, you can set up and teach 6G in your garage. Let’s say you do this with 7 students, each paying you $10,000 for a 3 month course. Yes, they will pay it – especially if you show them how they will have more time with your hand on theirs (the #1 secret to learning 6G fast).

    From Home Welding # 2:

    I was in Palm Springs the other day. I have been in and around the trades for 30 years… and when you see a tradesman’s truck and it is late model without dents or many scratches, clean, organized and well equipped, it means (99% of the time) that guy is making money.

    I pulled up to a light behind just such a truck – “Joe’s BBQ Service and Repair.” That’s it – that is all Joe does. He will weld cast aluminum or steel. He’ll clean and polish. He’ll replace a burner or a control. OR he’ll buy your old unit and sell / or sell you a new one.

    Yes, you need a town with a lot of high end BBQs. Other than that, go get it.

    From Home Welding # 3:

    Large steel cut outs. In art of all kinds, size matters. For example, 20 years ago we purchased two 4′ long coat racks – each is a piece of 1.5″ x 1.5″ x 1/8″ angle 4′ long with 6 horse shoes welded to the angle to hang the coats.

    On the horizontal surface of the angle is welded a scene made of 7 horse and 7 tree cut-outs. We paid $185 for each of these 20 years ago… that would be about $300 a piece in today’s dollars.

    The problem with you making these is that the 14 cut outs on each unit are too small too many to cut by hand – you need a computerized plasma table to make these.

    Here is where the magic of size makes all the difference.

    The artist who drew the cut outs on our coat rack was good. Each of the 7 horses is different and beautiful, as well as the trees. Any – or all of these – cut outs can be scaled up with chalk onto a sheet of say 4′ x 8′ x 3/16″ steel. Now, all you need is a plasma or an oxy torch to create the large version.

    What would a horse cut from a 4′ x 8′ sheet sell for?

    $300 to $700. It would depend on where you are and how you market it. Marketing is a large part of any business. Good marketing is not hard – you can do it.

    You can see, if you could get a “business pipe” full of inventory and sales and you were delivering 2 horses a day, you could easily make $100k. The other major opportunity with big cut outs is gates. The key to all of this stuff in the art category is beautiful line drawings. If you are not an artist, hire one on the condition that they sign the copyright to you.

    There are endless ideas to utilize even your most basic welding skills from home to make an excellent living or just extra money. The trick is:

    Step A:

    Find what will work best for you.

    Step B:

    Write out a simple plan of attack. Don’t put the cart before the horse. Many small businesses fail because the owner gets all wrapped up in the details and loses site of what is important. Here is what is important: Don’t spend money – MAKE MONEY!

    Step C:

    The first rule of business is to GET NOTICED. That is also the end goal of all marketing – once you have enough eyeballs on you, you will succeed. The common mistake is to leave marketing for last while concentrating on every little rule and piece of paper. A business license will do you no good if you don’t make money! Save your money and get it (if you really need one) when you make some money. Towns and cities will simply say, “do you have a business license?” When they ask, say: “I’m getting one now.”

    Conclusion:

    You are blessed to live in a country where you can go from nothing to something in a hurry. However, to get anywhere in a hurry requires running hard. You’ll never regret it.

    What should you do next?

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    Source by Scott R. Linden

    Views: 0

  • Mindset Vs Skill – How to Succeed in Business

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    An online mentor of mine, Jennifer Allwood, shares that “business is 20% strategy and 80% mindset”. While the “strategy” of a business is very important, to be successful you must have the right mindset about yourself, your company and your customers.

    If you are a small business owner and you are looking for the “secret strategy” to change your business, you could spend all of your time in search of strategy. For example, scroll through Facebook and you will see the 100’s of trainers, coaches and experts who are trying to sell you the latest “gadget” for success.

    Stop enrolling in every Free Group and Free Download that you see. You are WASTING your time by chasing a shiny new object that is just not out there.

    Learn the skills you need, know your audience, and stay plugged in to your industry. After that? It’s all about Mindset.

    How do you know if you have a mindset problem?

    You keep searching for the “right” skill, the “right” training or that “right” coach that will give you the Magic Pill or Secret Sauce for success. Here are a few examples that might indicate you have a mindset problem:

    • Complain about the success of others
    • Enroll in every course/training you see on social media
    • Continue to ask for the Right Words to describe your product or what you do
    • Buy every planner in search of a better system
    • Always busy but not completing Income Producing Activities
    • Not consistent in small, daily activities

    If you are searching constantly for skills, then you don’t believe in yourself or your business. To succeed, you need the mindset component along with the skills.

    Subconscious Mind

    Your Subconscious Mind runs the show based on unfiltered information known as beliefs. Your Mind believes everything that you think. For example, when you say these things, your mind believes it:

    • Why am I so stupid?
    • I will never get that promotion.
    • I’m not very pretty.
    • I’m not smart enough.
    • I’ll never be successful like “Suzy”.

    Each and every time you say these phrases out loud and in your mind, your brain believes the statement! Next, you must learn how to change your mindset.

    How to Change Your Mindset?

    If we know that changing our mindset is key, then why are we not doing it? And most importantly how do we change our mindset? It’s not easy, but keep it simple and you can Change Your Mindset!

    There are several recommendations that I can make for changing your mindset.

    • Personal Development?-?I highly recommend Mel Robbins and her resources.
    • Daily Affirmations! Write them on your bathroom mirror or maybe a Pinterest board.
    • Eliminate Distractions and get new friends
    • Don’t allow yourself to say negative things about yourself
    • Make it an everyday habit

    To get the life you want, you must let go of old limiting beliefs. Tackle the mindset beliefs that are keeping you from moving forward, keeping you from reaching your greatness!

    If you have a small business, please know that you must have the skills for your business. But, you must also have the right mindset for success. You need skills and mindset!

    How do you continually feed your mindset?

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    Source by Kathleen C Olivieri

    Views: 0

  • Success With Emotional Intelligence

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    Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage your own emotions and the emotions of other people in positive ways. Today we can clearly see that being only “book smart” and having a high intelligence quotient or IQ does not guarantee a successful, happy and fulfilled life. There are many people in all parts of the world who are very brilliant academically but are inept at dealing with people and successful at work or in their personal relationships. Academic intelligence is not enough on its own to be successful in life. IQ can help you get a job and earn a living, but it does not show you how to live a life. When it comes to happiness and success in life, emotional intelligence helps you build stronger relationships, succeed at work, and achieve your career and personal goals.

    Emotionally intelligent people are able to recognize their own emotional state and the emotional states of others and as a result they connect more easily with people. They therefore communicate better, form stronger relationships, achieve greater success at work, and lead a more fulfilling life. John Gottman was right when he said “In the last decade or so, science has discovered a tremendous amount about the role emotions play in our lives. Researchers have found that even more than IQ, your emotional awareness and abilities to handle feelings will determine your success and happiness in all walks of life, including family relationships.”

    Emotional Intelligence consists of five basic components namely self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy and social skills. The first three competencies are intra-personal and concern your ability to know and manage yourself. Empathy and social skills are inter-personal competencies and concern your ability to interact and get along with others. The better your intra-personal skills, the easier it becomes to express your inter-personal skills. Mastering these skills will allow you to live a better, happier and more successful and fulfilled life.

    Self-awareness is the first component of emotional intelligence. It is the ability to know which emotions you are feeling and why. When you understand your emotions, it is easier for you to acknowledge and control your emotions and prevent your feelings from ruling you. You also become more confident as you do not let your emotions get out of control. Being self-aware also enables you to take an honest look at yourself and better know your strengths and weaknesses, and work on these areas to achieve better outcomes for yourself and others.

    Self-Regulation is the ability to control your emotions and impulses and choose the emotions that you want to experience instead of being the victim of whatever emotions arise. When you are able to manage your emotional state, it becomes easier for you to think before you act and this prevents you from making impulsive and careless decisions. This skill also allows you to transform negative exhausting emotions into more positive and productive ones

    The third component of emotional intelligence is motivation. This is about using your emotions to remain positive, optimistic and persistent rather than negative and pessimistic. When you have a high degree of emotional intelligence you tend to be very motivated, productive and efficient in everything they do. You also use your emotions positively to take the right actions to persist and achieve your goals even in the face of considerable adversity or difficulty.

    Empathy is the fourth element of emotional intelligence. It is the ability to truly recognize and understand the feelings and point of view of people around you. Empathetic people usually possess the ability to listen effectively and accurately to others and are normally excellent at managing relationships, improving communication, building trust and relating to others.

    The fifth component of emotional intelligence is social skills. Emotionally intelligent people have good social skills and are excellent at building and maintaining relationships. When you are highly emotionally intelligent, you no longer focus on your own success first and you always have other’s best interests in mind. You always promote an environment where people cooperate with each other instead of compete with one another and you always help others develop and grow.

    Today emotional intelligence is a key to success in life and the good news is that whatever your actual level of emotional intelligence, you can improve it The best way to develop your emotional skills is through practice. You can then become more efficient at recognizing and managing your emotions as well as the emotions of others and lead a happier, more successful and fulfilled life. Always remember the wise words of Daniel Goleman who said, “What really matters for success, character, happiness and life long achievements is a definite set of emotional skills – your EQ – not just purely cognitive abilities that are measured by conventional IQ tests.”

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    Source by Priya Deelchand

    Views: 0

  • Fugazi – 5 Dollar Shows, 10 Dollar Albums And 1,000,000 Dollar Passion

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    Few bands in recent years have enjoyed the critical acclaim that this influential rock band has received. Formed in 1987 by the remnants of crucial hardcore bands Embrace and Rites of Spring, this band has reached the title of underground legends. This reputation is not the result of their evolution of hardcore punk and their experimentation with several other musical genres but of their ethics and ideals. This essay’s purpose is to expose one of the best bands of the American underground. Fugazi is composed of vocalist and guitarist Ian Mackaye, vocalist and guitarist Guy Picciotto, bassist Joe Lally, and drummer Brendan Canty.

    To start to chronicle Fugazi’s history, one must first look at their hardcore roots. Ian Mackaye was the vocalist of the iconic and often called “definitive” hardcore punk band Minor Threat formed in 1980. Minor Threat has a legendary status in the punk scene because of their music, their ideas and their approach. After Minor Threat disbanded in 1983, Mackaye went to form Embrace in 1985. Meanwhile, Guy Picciotto was part of Rites of Spring, often called the “first and definitive emocore band,” formed in 1984. These two influential bands were part of the movement known as “Revolution Summer,” an attempt to change the punk scene to more melodic music and introspective lyrics; several hardcore bands from the 80’s had attracted a lot of violence and intolerance because of their aggressive music and raging lyrics. The two bands were short-lived, and their members joined other groups. Ian Mackaye then formed a trio with Joe Lally and Colin Sears, who left and was replaced by Brendan Canty. Fugazi is a Vietnam acronym for bad combat scenarios that stands for F*cked Up, Got Ambushed, Zipped In. After a few shows they decided to add Picciotto into the mix and continued playing for several years.

    Fugazi are very difficult to classify and labeling them into a single genre is nearly impossible and, in some ways, insulting. Their music integrates elements of punk, hardcore, noise rock, and even soul, with innovative rhythms influenced by funk, jazz, reggae and dub. In fact, they have been categorized as post punk and post hardcore by many critics because their music is an evolution, progression and reaction to hardcore punk. This band is also notable because of the interlocking guitars of Picciotto and Mackaye, which stay in a balance as equals, unlike most bands that have a leading guitar and a rhythm guitar. Also, the contrast in both guitarists singing styles is fascinating. Mackaye’s hardcore roots make his singing be way more straightforward and anthem-like while Picciotto prefers a more abstract way of singing. Their experimental sounds have influenced many bands, like At the Drive-In and are regarded as one of the best bands of the last twenty years.

    Just as famous as their groundbreaking music are their ethics and ideals. They’re one of those hard-to-find bands that, while keeping their DIY punk ethics, still achieved mainstream success. They normally charged form $5 to $10 per show and insisted that their shows be open for everybody, age notwithstanding. They don’t sell merchandise like posters, pins, patches or t-shirts because they thought that having a person managing merchandise involved more costs and they wanted to keep the prices of their albums and shows at a minimum. At their shows, Fugazi encouraged the underage fans to wear black exes on their hands to stop them from consuming alcohol, particularly, a tradition created by Mackaye during his days at Teen Idles, a band older than Minor Threat. Much of Fugazi’s reputation comes from word of mouth. They had the reputation of powerful, cathartic shows and an eagerness to play anywhere. Another famous characteristic of Fugazi is that they, unlike most bands from their time, discouraged slam dancing, fist fights, and moshpits during their shows and are ready to stop playing and ask the problematic people to step out with their money back so they can continue their show.

    Fugazi have proved to be one of the most revered bands in the American Indie and Punk scenes because of their contribution to music. Just the fact that they never sold out when they had a myriad chances proves how valuable their music was for them, an admirable quality. In this conformist and corporative world where sounds are synthesized and copied to manipulate the masses, those underdogs that rebel against the mainstream and seek to achieve musical pleasure are the ones that are worth listening to. Many bands have taken Fugazi’s example but no band will ever compare to the greatness that was Fugazi, the band that could.

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    Source by Juan Diego Alvarado

    Views: 0

  • Mercury Retrograde As Healing

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    Oh no! Mercury retrograde! Well… not so fast.

    It happens every time Mercury goes retrograde (the effect that makes the planet appear to travel backwards in the sky). Things go wrong-well, thanks a lot mercury retrograde. It’s an ingrained response. And it reveals a not-so-hidden problem (if a generally ignored one).

    Mercury, of course, doesn’t really go backwards – it simply appears to do so from our perspective on Earth. And that’s the heart of the matter – perception. We see an elliptical orbit from our own elliptical spinning. It distorts reality.

    You know this, of course, and that “mercury retrograde” refers to the astrological energetic correspondence. But consider – what is simply an ongoing cycle is perceived as ups and downs. It’s neither. It just is, a fundamental reality.

    And that’s the problem with “my current troubles are because mercury is retrograde.” No, they’re not. Rather, mercury retrograde is shining a light on fundamental problems. Literally – the foundation is lacking, creating the perception that problems have abruptly come about that were actually a long time coming.

    There’s disruption – True. But the fault isn’t negative energy.

    I had a strained conversation with my dad. My partner said something dismissive. My muscles are sore and stiff. And I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed. Mercury retrograde, right? (And let’s not forget the annoying slow Internet speed). I even blew up a wheelbarrow tire yesterday, just pumping air back into it after it went flat.

    The problems here, though, are fundamental. My dad and I have had awkward conversations for years. My partner and I have busy schedules and don’t always communicate well. Instead of rotating cardio, weights, and swimming at the gym, I did all three one day, then stacked firewood the next. My schedule is too packed, and I already knew that three months ago (will be better shortly). The Internet is often slow here (trying to get a new provider to come in). And the tire was ancient.

    Foundations build potentials – constant yang eventually fails.

    Yin energy is about potential. Before I undertake strenuous physical tasks, I have to build up over time. Before I can have open conversation when topics are difficult, I have to build trust and connection over time. Before I can enjoy fast services, I need the supporting infrastructure in place. Tires don’t last forever, and need to be inspected and maintained. And schedules packed tight don’t work.

    We’re mainly all about the yang energy. But just like mercury, it travels in circular motion (and not in a straight line and then back, however it might appear). We push and strive and force and stubbornly persist, working against nature herself, thinking we have to do so, but fooling only ourselves.

    Research shows multi-tasking is a myth (we can do both tasks separately faster than both together). “Overwhelmed” is an over-reaction we invented for dramatic effect (“whelmed” means exactly the same thing). And no matter how far you need to drive, you’ll have to stop and get fuel. Vehicle maintenance is a good idea too. If not – you’ll be sitting at the side of the road.

    Healing can’t be all yang (if you want to remain healthy)

    No one ever says: “Hey, I’d like to work on the fundamental pieces creating the health, emotional, and spiritual challenges I’m facing. Ever. Instead, it’s mostly “can you just do a session and fix this?” Frankly, sometimes yes, that can happen, but that’s not ultimately the best approach.

    Trees grow extensive root systems before branching into leafy canopies – or they’d fall at the first strong wind. Busy successful and happy people don’t “find” time to meditate-they know that an hour of focus in the morning is the reason for their continued happiness and success. Schedules can be more organic and realistic by making choices and delegating (“but I have to do these things because no one else can” is a lie we all tell ourselves). And 1 in 25 people never get sick, their entire lives – because they understand (and continually practice) balance.

    That’s why to pursue more than straight healing sessions

    Self-healing, integrating levels of being, getting unstuck, building effective meditation practice, understanding and overcoming long-term pain, overcoming emotional challenges, the 12 keys to healing-these essential building blocks help you learn to live in wholeness and ongoing health – including thriving in spiritual balance.

    Some people do monthly combination programs, so they can benefit from both healing sessions and program material to heal and to maintain their health, their mental and emotional peace and balance, and to best show up in the world to thrive as the beautiful people they always were and were meant to be.

    Because Mercury doesn’t travel back and forth on a straight line. And neither does healing. For ongoing health and progress, you must master circular effort.

    So thank Mercury for the reminder. Then turn your attention to fundamentals.

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    Source by Tim Emerson

    Views: 0

  • Teaching Entrepreneurship To Children: Should We Do It?

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    Should we be teaching entrepreneurship to children? When you were a child did you ever have a stand where you sold soft drinks like sodas? Did you ever offer cakes and candy to other students at school in order to make some money?

    Not everybody is bitten by the entrepreneurial bug when they are kids however. I truly believe that it’s vital teaching entrepreneurship to children. The harsh realities of entering into the workforce in a difficult economy presents a lot of challenges. The alternative of being an entrepreneur and working for yourself is something that should be explained to children and young people.

    Making then Aware of an Alternative

    The main thing working against our children having an entrepreneurial mindset is our education system. With only a few exceptions, most of the teaching we get from the time we are in kindergarten to the day we graduate from college is…

    * Make sure you get a good education

    * Study hard and graduate with your degree

    * Get a wonderful job with great additional benefits and you’re set for life!

    There are a number of issues with this.

    There is absolutely nothing wrong with working and getting a good job with for a terrific company. A lot of people end up doing this and a some enjoy it and make a huge contribution to their company.

    The real truth is that there is a HUGE portion of people who are not pleased with their jobs and are in fact totally dissatisfied. This can be due to the fact that they either do not like the work they do, who they actually work with or they may not get paid enough being just one paycheck away from being broke.

    The Second problem is that it is very RARE in these modern times to find anybody that works at one specific job for more than 3 to 5 years. Switching between jobs regularly has actually become the “brand-new standard”.

    That’s why it’s so essential in teaching entrepreneurship to children and revealing to them that there is an option to having to go out into the workforce to make a living. Would it not make more sense to instruct children about entrepreneurship and show them a that there is a very real alternative to living a life in the corporate world.

    Teaching them about things like beginning their own home-business… particularly an online business. We have to remember that the younger generation now invest most of their time online nowadays. So,when they are young, why not instruct them about how to make money with a medium like the internet that they are so comfortable using.

    Keeping it Real

    Understanding that children these days can truly benefit from finding out how to begin their own business, how do we begin teaching them about it?

    I think it’s extremely important to set the right expectations early on. Having your own business can be an amazing experience, however children should be taught that it does also include hard work and dedication. This is something that children (and adults) in some cases choose to skip over.

    The reality is beginning an online business has the possibility to make you a lot more money than most everyday jobs.

    It’s essential to offer children choices. Make them understand the benefits and challenges of working in the “Rat Race” and the alternative of working for themselves in their own business.

    To be really practical we have to remember that children will regularly want to select the most simple and “Safest” method rather than something that might present a greater challenge and require a little additional effort even though in the long-term they could be much better off.

    Keep Their Dreams Alive

    The last thing to keep in mind is to be supportive of children who wish to start their own company. You see most children still have dreams and goals when they are young.

    As time goes and life presents some obstacles to their dreams in various forms, children then start to lower their goals and become more willing to settle for mediocrity. That is unless they have someone to look up to and admire and to learn from. Be the kind of individual who motivates and supports those children to dream big and work hard to realise their ambitions.

    With it becoming harder to find a good job nowadays, young children (and lots of grownups) need to be aware of the option of a home based business as a vehicle to achieve their dreams and objectives. Teaching entrepreneurship to children and assisting them in preserving their dreams can help pave a path on their journey to financial freedom and a life filled with passion.

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    Source by Merv Stevens

    Views: 0

  • You Can Heal Your Life Book Review

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    At a time in our lives where everything seems to be changing it is good to know that a book that was written many years ago still can have a profound impact on our lives.

    Louise Hay’s book “You Can Heal Your Life” is one of those books. I purchased the gift edition back in November of last year but didn’t actually open the book till the end of December. I know now that it was the perfect time for me to read “You Can Heal Your Life”.

    Over the past year I have been wondering what God had in store for my life, what my purpose in life was and feeling like I was running around in circles.

    I started to read “You Can Heal Your Life” during the two weeks that I took off at the end of the year. On January 3, 2009 I was hospitalized for Bell’s Palsy. After being released from the hospital I came home and immediately opened up the book again and looked to see what Louise Hay had to say about Bell’s Palsy.

    Bell’s Palsy-Extreme control over anger. Unwillingness to express feelings.

    For a couple of years I have struggled with exactly that! I didn’t want to show anger or express my feelings of despair or my feelings of feeling totally out of control. I wanted to yell at anyone and everyone who had hurt me or had in some way made me feel out of control, even so much as blame God and myself for what I was going through. But I could not do it, I could not blame others or let go of those feelings of anger…I wanted to but I just couldn’t express them for the fear of feeling even more out of control.

    After reading “You Can Heal Your Life” and working through my anger with affirmations that Louise suggested such as:

    “It is safe for me to express my feelings. I forgive myself.”

    I was able to express those angry feelings, I yelled, I screamed and then I release those feelings and let go.

    Amazingly this past week, my Bell’s Palsy went away! I am now able to smile again without having my face droop. It is amazing how what we feel inside and out affects our health.

    While I knew this to an extent, this time I understood thoroughly what I had to learn from this situation!

    I have always said I was a stubborn person for me it doesn’t take 3 times to be hit on the head, nope it takes a 4th time before I wake up…” The Bell’s Palsy was the 4th time I have been hit on the head 🙂

    Now everyday I open up “You Can Heal Your Life” or “The Present Moment-365 Daily affirmations” or “Everyday Positive Thinking” to remind me of things to say to myself that are positive.

    I just open the books and I believe where they open up I was meant to read that day.

    So if you are struggling with staying positive in this day and age or are wondering why you are suffering from an illness and are looking for help I strongly recommend any book written by Louise Hay or for that manner any book from a Hay House author.

    “If you are willing to do the mental work, almost anything can be healed”-Louise Hay

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    Source by Rebbekah White

    Views: 0

  • Addiction To Unrequited Love

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    The Torchbearer – S/he will love me one day

    It sounds silly for one to be addicted to unrequited love, but it can sometimes be the result of growing up in a household where love was either conditional or not consistent. As a child, the “torchbearer,” may have been always trying to win the love, praise or affection from a parent (or someone else influential) who was unavailable, abusive or failed to provide proper nurturing…. or the child could have witnessed one parent in a sort of unrequited love relationship with the other and could have taken that energy on. If it wasn’t an issue of childhood environment, then possibly some sort of other trauma occurred to upset the torchbearer’s self-esteem and their ability to feel safe receiving love. It can also result from a sudden and unexpected separation, betrayal, health, or appearance issue.

    At an existential level, the torchbearer may have developed a belief that they are not worthy of love and they may find themselves attracted to love situations that seem to keep them stuck in this dynamic: loving someone, but not able to fully receive love back. Although the person feels unworthy of love on some level, often they know they are worthy on another level, which the torchbearer then may become confused as to why they stay addicted to an unavailable person. The relationship then becomes about fantasy, idealization, avoidance, or a love-hate relationship ensues where the addict both loves and disapproves of the object of their devotion.

    According to love addiction expert Susan Peabody, the main categories of love addictions include:

    • obsessed love addicts: obsess and can’t let go even if their partners are unavailable or abusive
    • codependent love addiction: needy to please partner for sense of self
    • narcissistic love addicts: take advantage of their partner and can act disinterested, selfish or abusive and yet still feel addicted to partner and can’t let go
    • ambivalent love addicts: this category includes unrequited love addicts (also known as “torch-bearers”), saboteurs, seductive withholders, and romance addicts. The main goal through this kind of love addiction is the avoidance of true deep emotional intimacy and bonding. These addicts crave love and affection, but are afraid to get too close at the same time.

    Unrequited love addicts are part of the category of Ambivalent Love Addicts. Susan Peabody was the first to create the term “Ambivalent Love Addiction”. Her book “Addiction to Love: Overcoming Obsession and Dependency in Relationships,” is an amazing book for anyone wishing to learn more about love addiction.

    To be an ambivalent love addict, or torchbearer, means that one deeply craves love, intimacy, commitment, and unconditional love. However, at the same time, one has fears of relating deeply to another person. Such love addicts can end up pushing love away or holding it at a distance. Subconsciously, it can feel much safer for these individuals to love someone who isn’t fully there or who doesn’t want a full-on commitment. Picking an individual who is married, committed to another, distant, a player, a saboteur, or a sex addict may act to help the torchbearer avoid a true relationship. Some torchbearers end up addicted to friends or colleagues and hope the relationship will become something more.

    With many of the torchbearers that I have read, I find there is usually an excuse to continue chasing the love interest. However, there is also always a counterproductive excuse for never letting the love interest know their real feelings. It is even possible that if the object of infatuation actually returned affection or expressed desire for commitment towards the love addict, the love addict might not crave the interest anymore. One popular excuse that I have heard reads something like: “getting what I wanted or asked for took too long, therefore I no longer trust the love interest anymore, so I no longer want a relationship.” Once the love interest gives up, separation anxiety sets in again. Why does this occur? An illusion has been broken and the person idolized has become more human and less of a challenge to the ego.

    The torchbearer runs the risk that even if they obtain the object of their desire they may not achieve the closeness or intimacy they desire unless they change why they were addicted in the first place. Sometimes the addiction simply changes. An addict may transform from a torchbearer into a seductive withholder. They can even start becoming a codependent love addict if the once unrequited love relationship begins to become real.

    So, how do you know if you are addicted to unrequited love?

    What are the symptoms? The symptoms listed below are not comprehensive, but ones I typically see with clients (usually women):

    • Do you obsess over or find yourself only attracted to love interests who are not available in some way or who are married, playing you, who are “just friends,” or have left you?
    • Do you fear communication or to let the person know your interest in them, feelings, and other basic questions for fear of rejection or to keep the fantasy going? Or do you find yourself communicating but unable to accept a lack of response or a non-commital response without hoping if you wait long enough you will be wholly wanted?
    • Do you suffer in silence while you hold adoration towards someone who doesn’t really know? Some unrequited love addicts pursue their interests opening and ardently, but others can hold torches for people who they will not let themselves get close to nor let themselves be revealed in any real way.
    • Do you expect your love interest to be psychic/empathic and to just know and interpret your feelings and needs, even though there has been no grounded communication? Are you living out your relationship psychically or vicariously through “signs” or empathic feelings that the other person may be thinking about you, even if there is no contact?
    • Do you find yourself always hoping and waiting for the other person to make an interest in you known?
    • Can you never feel “close” in a real way to the person you are holding a torch for?
    • Are you always living out the relationship in your head?
    • Are you continually asking yourself many questions, wondering about the other person feelings and intentions (or potential future intentions) without ever grounding anything to test to see if any fantasies are real?
    • Do you have other addictions, such as to sex, psychics, alcohol etc?
    • Do you feel you cannot let go of the love interest even though it is not making you feel loved? Do feel powerless to stop at will.
    • Is the preoccupation with this interest having a more negative affect on you spiritually, financially and other ways than positive? In the end, are you losing more than you gain?
    • Do you have a history of being hurt or obsessing on lack of love, attention or approval by a parent or someone else influential in your earlier life?
    • For those with less intense expressions of this addiction: are you confused why you only seem to attract or are attracted to unavailable people or people who are not 100% wanting a relationship? And with this, do you feel bored with people who are into you or once a relationship starts to develop? Does it seem that all the people who would be right and loving towards you, you cannot “fall in love” with?

    If you have an “interest” that you crave but are afraid to reach out to in any real and genuine way for fear of rejection, then you might be addicted to unrequited love. You may also be addicted if there is an underlying knowledge that expressing your wants and needs would not be appropriate. I’ve talked to many clients who are totally engaged with these types of interests, sometimes even sexually. But, usually they know on some level there are certain things they cannot ask/dare put forward cause the relationship is casual though they want something more. Though the “craving” is not always required, this article is mostly written for the hard core unrequited love addict.

    Here is an example of one kind of non-communicative unrequited love addict who does have some relationship and interaction with her love interest:

    A woman starts to like an attractive man. They meet and there is some flirting — the man seems interested to the woman. Information is exchanged followed by mixed signals that mark the relationship. The woman starts obsessing and fantasizing about having a relationship with the man. However, the man won’t make a clear move and the woman ends up doing most of the contacting to keep interaction ongoing. The woman acts casual because she wants the man to make his interest known first. She is getting some cues of affection and indication of interest, but it’s kept superficial and she is always unsure. This goes on for some time, sometimes months, and she starts thinking “Does this guy really want a relationship or am I just casual or a friend?” Despite feeling a sense of unknowing and distress, the woman will never risk asking to find out. She starts asking advice from other friends who tell her to forget about the man, but she hangs on in hope he will ask for a real date or commitment or show he cares.

    The man is simply not putting out vibe of wanting a full-on relationship. However, she starts to fantasize that maybe he is just scared, can’t communicate or is insecure. She fantasizes that he will start to be more demonstrative or want something more if she can just hang in or never upset the status quo. She even wonders, “should I say something or make a move”, but something inside is telling her it’s not safe to tell this person how she feels because they are not on the same page, so she withholds keeps holding a torch for this person. She finds out the man has started to pursue someone else and she feels upset and feels betrayed. But, still, she has never had clear indication they are in a “relationship.”

    In the worst cases of unrequited love addiction I have seen, the client is addicted to psychics, using spell casters to cast spells to make their love more available, or are even asking for healing sessions on the person they are addicted to hoping healing something in their love interest will change the reality of what is going on.

    What Can You Do If This Sounds Like You?

    Often, I see two main themes running in these relationships: fear of true communication (or fear of accepting a communication or lack there of), and fear of vulnerability & rejection. Many times I also recommend torchbearers learn how to set boundaries and how to respect others boundaries. If the torchbearer is holding on waiting for a “sign” or demonstration from the love object, afraid of giving up, learning communication would help with getting out of fantasizing a relationship and making it more real. In the least, the torchbearer can get closure, if the love addict’s desires are not reciprocated.

    Getting closure isn’t always an easy thing for a love addict. It is often considered to be a harsh rejection. Many frightened unrequited love addicts wish to avoid being hurt at all costs. However, with this cost, these love addicts avoid true intimacy and relationships.

    Most unrequited love clients I work with have a shut down throat chakra. They may have been raised or learned through some experience that expressing feelings or needs is a burden on others, a sign of weakness, inferiority or something to be afraid of. Codependent types are afraid to cause any sort of confrontation or rejection for themselves. However, the only way out is through. The crux is that this dynamic is used to avoid another hurt or rejection and this continues the cycle of avoiding true commitment, intimacy and bonding.

    Step 1: Communication With Yourself

    The first step is for the torchbearers to ask themselves what they truly want from a relationship. What is their vision of how they want to be loved and committed to? This step may be one of the hardest. The unrequited love addict may be so used to avoiding confrontation that asking them to figure out what they want and need seems strange. Torchbearers ask themselves “How do I get someone who doesn’t care to do so? How can I be better? More lovable?” Simply leaving an unrequited love may not solve the problem either. It may just transfer the love addiction from one of pursuing the unrequited love interest to holding a torch and suffering in silence while pining after the loss. They may remain stuck, wondering if maybe this person is still missing them or thinking of them and it gives them hope for reconciliation.

    Step 2: Communication With Your Love Interest

    If communication is possible to ask for closure, this is the next step. I recommend asking in direct ways and not just looking for “signs.” State what you want out of love and a relationship, and ask the object of your affection if they feel they will ever be able to give it. Risk hearing the truth and risk rejection. This helps break the fantasy and though may be incredibly painful, it is the next step towards risking true intimacy and attracting the right relationship and breaking through all the fears that prevent it from coming. The whole idea of love addiction is the belief that without love one is nothing. If one can risk losing love and still see themselves as whole, then one can start going into relationships with sense of self as a sole identity which another can complement, rather than feeling another will complete them.

    Fear of intimacy (getting to know someone deeply), commitment, communication, rejection, boundaries, and confrontation needs to be challenged. Love addicts can also seem like perpetual victims or trauma junkies. So healing the need to be a victim is key too.

    Taking on the challenge of learning to set boundaries, risk confrontation and rejection, to communicate ones wants and needs (and listening to another’s – which this might be the real fear) may seem overwhelming. But, it is the only way out. All of this should be targeted, in addition to working on childhood issues, which implanted some of these fears and patterns.

    Step 3: Accepting What Is Communicated Back or Any Lack Of A Response

    Sometimes, the love addict at this stage may have been totally clear with their love interest what they want and they still feeling or receiving mixed signals. The person of their infatuation may be ambivalent, stringing them along, or afraid to just be honest and give them the closure they need. Sometimes there may be a lack of response — ie: an email is sent to the love object who appears to be avoiding sending a response back. In these cases, aim for setting a boundary for yourself on how long you will wait for what you need and stick to it. Be willing to recognize when you need to either end a relationship or at least bring it down to a more casual and detached level while you pursue other options.

    For those who find they are always making clear what they want and are still waiting to receive it or feeling unheard, the lesson may be in knowing when its time to stop voicing your needs and wants realizing they will not be met or cared for. Just affirm to yourself as much as you can that you can and are willing to find someone who can meet your wants and needs.

    Step 4: Changing and Challenging One’s Views on Love

    I also recommend changing how one views love. There is something self-absorbed in all the withholding and holding on. It is focused on fear and self-protection instead of love or generosity and true interest in another person and their needs and feelings. Many love addicts actually fool themselves into thinking their co-dependence is proof that they are being more loving than anything else. However, love is about extending and exposing oneself in the face of rejection and providing a safe and open place for someone else to extend and expose themselves. Love is not manipulative, wanting to change people or situations or waiting for such situations or people to change.

    Love is not about being a martyr either. If you can’t take a risk to know anyone else or have them tell you their wants and needs, or accept or listen when they are not on the same page, how can you expect someone to care and listen concerning your own wants and needs?

    Not all unrequited love addicts are afraid to state their wants, needs, and boundaries. But, often what can happen is the torchbearer is always stating needs and boundaries and they are not listening to what is being conveyed back. They keep hoping the love object will change, mature, or outgrow his detached stance.

    A Few Self-Help Healing Tools

    While one can always benefit from professional therapies, coaching, and alternative healing sessions geared towards transmuting thought patterns, there are a few healing tools that can be used to assist recovery from love addictions (feel free to look for others as I only mention a few here).

    If one has ever used “flower essences” before (a form of homeopathy), Australian Bush Flower Essences (www.abfeusa.com for more information) has a “Relationship Essence” which contains the following:

    • Boab: helps bring change, helps clears negative core patterns that are rooted in family and which are inherited. Can also help clear negative lines of karma that exist between individuals and past life influence.
    • Bluebell: is for those who cut themselves off from their feelings and helps to open the heart and to disolve greed and rigidity. Emotions are present but withheld and there is even fear of expressing positive emotions such as joy and love, etc through operation of fear that there is just not enough and they can’t survive if they let go of all they hold onto.
    • Bottlebrush: helps one to resolve mother issues and helps one embrace major life changes. It brushes away the past allowing individuals to move on and go forward.
    • Bush Gardenia: helps one to renew passion and interest in relationships. Helps with intimacy, and resolving where there is too much self-interest or lack of awareness in a partnership.
    • Dagger Hakea: Is for helping on to release resentments, bitterness and grudges.
    • Flannel Flower: is for those who fear emotional or physical intimacy, getting too close and who have a hard time maintaining personal boundaries. Helps one to garner trust to express ones innermost feelings.
    • Red Helmet Orchid: Helps for resolving father issues, probelms with confrontation or authority.
    • Red Suva Frangipani: Is for the rocky relationship that is challenged and is also for resolving deep sense of loss and sadness when a relationship is in trouble or has ended. Helps to heal that feeling of Wedding Bush: Is for issues with commitment to a relationship, job, goal etc. It can be used for individuals who tend to flit from one relationship to another, or for those who leave relationships when the crush phase or initial attraction has diminished.

    A book I highly recommend is Addiction to Love: Overcoming Obsession and Dependency in Relationships by Susan Peabody (co-founder of LAA).

    Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is another tool that can help with love addictions. EFT can be easy to learn for free from demonstrations on YouTube or free downloads on various sites.

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    Source by Mandy Peterson

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