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  • Sex Toys: Good or Evil? (2)

    Sex Toys: Good or Evil? (2)

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    Consequences

    There are dire consequences for using sex toys. First, it will attract legions of sex demons (incumbi and succumbi) spirits to you. Second, it will make you permanently spiritually unfit and cause leakages of spiritual powers, gifts, confidence and abilities. Third, it is immoral and thus, a sin against God. Four, it will attract curses from God and from demonic spirits. Five, the curses may turn generational. Six, it can lead to psychological and mental hang-ups that can make you hate or withdraw from the opposite sex, and thereby not fulfilling the original plans of God to have a healthy sexual relationship and union.

    Incumbus and Succumbus (sex demons)

    You cannot use or keep sex toys, objects, dolls, pornographic materials or masturbate without opening doors for very sex hungry marauding demon spirits. There are satanic spirits that specialize in attacking humans through sex. Like the bible has given us a little window into the dark world, these demons like their fellows go to and fro, day and night searching for victims. In fact, Jesus said they roam about looking for where to enter and occupy. True. And worse, they are in millions and that was why Jesus could cast out thousands of them from just one person! And seven terrible ones from the woman prostitute – Mary Magdalene:

    “Not long afterwards Jesus began a tour of the nearby cities and villages to announce the Good news concerning the kingdom of God. He took his twelve disciples with him, along with some women he had healed and from whom he had cast out evil spirits. Among them were Mary Magdalene, from whom he had cast out seven demons. Joanna, the wife of Chuza, Herod’s business manager, Susanna, and many others.

    – Luke 8:1-3.

    All prostitutes, immoral sinners including sex toy users and other ‘masturbators’ are possessed with sex demonic spirits. You may not know all they battle with until they open up. They struggle with many seen and unseen things and beings – physically and spiritually; even in their dreams. Mary Magdalene; a prostitute and other women were having these issues until they came to Jesus who cast out those spirits upon their repentance. And they became free. Look at Mary, after that encounter with Jesus her real person, gift, love for God came out. She immediately became one of the most trusted followers of the Lord Jesus. She ministered to Jesus, stood by Him at the Cross, watched His burial, came early to observe his sepulchre and also was privileged to see the risen Lord. Wow!.You real personality, your love for God will only come out when you throw away or burn those instrument of immorality called sex dolls, toys and vibrators. True. Burn those toys now! We will continue next. God bless!

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    Source by Gabriel Agbo

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  • Emotional Labour – Organisational Behaviour

    Emotional Labour – Organisational Behaviour

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    Abstract:

    Putting on a good show, keeping face, professionalism in customer treatment can all be examples of emotional labour. When in the workplace dealing with others whether they be colleagues or customers we tend to give a positive emotional response despite the negativity of the other person (customer complaint) or our own current mood state (sadness, irritability) known as emotional dissonance. In this paper we will explore the phenomenon of emotional labour and its effect on workers productivity and social relations. The general outcome being that the strain of that dissonance creates mental health problems in the workplace.

    Introduction:

    Emotional labour can be seen as the affect of the current mood of a worker whilst engaging in interactions with others – putting on a good face for example despite feeling emotionally uncomfortable. (1. Robins/Judge 2013) These emotions can be driven by organisational expectations of an employees behaviour towards customers, clients and co-workers in support of the business goals to profit. For example in the service industry, customer complaints should be handled with a polite professional smiling attitude so that the customer perceives that their complaints are receiving serious attention. Despite the fact the service provider (customer relations officer) maybe be in a personal bad mood, have life problems or employment concerns – all this is swept aside to provide the company’s public positive image to the customer. For the employee engaged in such activities the strain of appearing positive and enthusiastic may cause both physical and emotional strain often leading to further deterioration in mood after work and in between assignments. You could argue that a good deal of the time we are in fact faking our emotions (feelings) in front of and towards others to support social conventions for example being polite. If a customer’s complaint is unreasonable, they are showing anger, accusing the company or misleading them and selling shoddy products – the company service support worker must maintain control over their own emotions despite feeling that the customer is wrong and the complaint is unwarranted or even ridiculous they still have to maintain the company driven reaction to the customer with calm professionalism. (2. Myler – Case Studies 2018) Some companies make being happy at work almost mandatory – where staff entertain, create an atmosphere or encourage excitement over the product and its associated feelings of happiness. For example, theme park staff forced to smile all day – try it yourself – it is very stressful to keep a happy demeanor in the face of disgruntled visitors waiting hours in a queue for a five minute ride or the phone shop worker being asked to entertain the queue of waiting customers with hi-fives and silly games. (3. Grandey et.al. 2010) Many customers in fact reporting discomfort at being targeted for unwanted attention and interaction). Therefore there is a difference between felt emotions (what I am actually thinking and feeling) than with displayed emotions (what is expected of me). After an interaction the employee can feel both exhausted by the forced situation and emotionally angry at faking their feelings for the benefit of others. Many people who suffer from depression report that faking happiness is the biggest strain of the day.

    Culture and Emotional Labour

    Culture may impact on how someone sees emotional labour as the expectations of others in the light of social comparison. (4. Matsumoto etal. 2009) For example many American service jobs, such as retail staff, service providers and customer interaction workers all feel that a positive upbeat smiling enthusiastic person is a definite requirement for the companies image management. The monocor – have a nice day – often rings false in the ears of those who understand this is not a genuine sentiment but a practiced social grace. In other cultures such as Japan or Asia in general – forced politeness or deference to not displaying emotions may in fact cause particular strain on everyday life where displaced emotion can be seen in acts of violence and sexual deviance. The French tend to not display openness in dealing with customers but in fact a non-smiling or even impolite attitudes towards their clients. This can cause companies dealing in global markets problems with staff in having to adapt and understand policy in line with the cultural underlying expectations of behaviour.

    Mental Health

    Many psychologists, counsellors and others such as nurses encounter patients (clients) who maybe presenting mental health problems such as anxiety (worry about future events) or depression (living with the past) that report difficulties in the work place in faking their emotions towards both colleagues and customers – that they feel the strain of the day at home later through irritability, sexual indifference a lack of appetite and sleep. Keeping up appearances at work therefore effects the very quality of our lives both in and out of the work place. (5. Myler Case Studies 2018) Dealing with difficult people whether customers or colleagues leaves us feeling exhausted physically and mentally. In therapy the psychologist maybe searching for psycho-dynamic reasons for the negative feelings from past patterns of behaviour and often miss the power of the here and now effect of faking your feelings at work simply due to enforced company policies that require us to present an image of well- being and happiness that actually is not there. Treatment therefore should focus on workplace stress rather than personal history.

    Role Play & Emotional Labour:

    Of course we are schooled from an early age in how to act given certain social situations, for example being happy at a birthday party ( don’t spoil it for everyone) to look sad at the funeral (even when we did not even like the deceased). We have learned behavior for situational displays of affect. Have you ever been told off – criticised – looked at the person with a smile on your face – and they say, “what are you smiling at?” they think you are not taking them seriously enough, acknowledging their concerns – the truth maybe that we think their remarks are unwarranted and silly – however our learned correct response is to – look serious and be intently listening – while all the time inside feeling what an idiot this person is! In other words we are often asked to fake it – for the sake of the other persons feelings – this is often seen as high empathy when in fact it is more often just a learned reaction to a situational event. Emotional intelligence is seen a as a panacea for management effectiveness but maybe little more than learned responses to situations, rather than a genuine cognitive response to some event. In other words emotional intelligence maybe more pop psychology than a fact. Measurement for emotional understanding may reflect no more about the learned response to given situations we have come to understand through cultural, generational and traditional customs of our community or group behaviour. Psychometric tests for emotional intelligence may in fact be invalid and not robust enough to provide any useful measure of a persons feelings towards others but in fact reflect that learned behaviour – what should be the response not what I actually feel inside.

    Attributions Theory – Misunderstanding Others:

    Attribution theory ( 6. Heider – 1958) suggests that we attend to what we see more than what we know. In other words – we do in fact judge a book by its cover. So if we are busy faking our emotions so must everyone else? So how do we know that the mood being displayed to us is genuine or faked. We pride ourselves on being able to know others feeling by their facial expressions, there seemingly genuineness and authentic sounding responses. In fact much of the time we maybe reacting to the faked emotion rather than the real one. We are often surprised to hear someone committed suicide – we may say – they always seemed so positive and happy looking – but that is exactly what a mis-attribution is – the lack of skills to identify a real emotion from a faked one – we are actually quite good at emotional labour at work and so do we really know what anyone is actually feeling, as opposed to what they are displaying to us. So the helpful shop assistant may in fact be bored rigid at having to seem enthusiastic about a product she has already spoken about ten times that day already.

    In Summery:

    Emotional labour is a situation where the employee expresses the companies desired response to a given situation. Emotional dissonance are our feeling of confusion between our internal feelings and the face we put upon the situation given company policy towards others. Felt emotions therefore being what we actually feel as opposed to displayed emotion being the faked response to another person. Finally emotional intelligence being no more than learned responses to events as we behave given the situation we find ourselves in. The consequences of faked emotions can be strain leading to emotional exhaustion that has both physical and emotional outcomes for mental health and general well-being. Judging others may in fact lead to mis-attributions where we think the faked emotion is in fact the real feelings of the other party.

    To be honest, open and authentic would be real intimacy in our relationships but carries the high risk of rejection and misunderstandings.

    References:

    1. Robins S.P. Judge T.A. 2013 – Organizational Behavior 15Ed Pearson Publishing

    2. Myler S.F. 2018 – Myler Case Studies 2018/19 Unpublished

    3. Grandey A. et.al. 2010 – Work in the Global Services Economy – Journal of Service Management.

    4. Matsumoto D. 2009 – Culture & Emotional Expression – New York, Taylor & Francis publishing.

    5. Myler S. F. 2019 – Myler Case Studies 2019 Unpublished

    6. Heider F 1958 – Attribution Theory – Oxford Dictionary of Psychology 2001

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    Source by Stephen F. Myler

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  • Am I Ordained To Marry?

    Am I Ordained To Marry?

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    One common question people ask us during counseling is whether they are ordained to marry or not. Few weeks ago, a sister walked up to me to ask if she was ordained to marry or not. I asked why she thought so. She said, her pastor taught them that it is written in Matthew 19:12 that some people were made to be eunuchs and therefore, not everyone is expected to marry. And now she was worried because of the series of disappointments she had experienced in her relationships. When I asked her whether they were equally taught how to differentiate between both groups she said that was why she came to ask me. I said she should have gone to her pastor to ask but she said she would not because they were more interested in how many souls they had won to Christ than their marital plans.

    Her vehement refusal to go to her pastor for counsel was a clear indication that she had gone through some elements of frustration. I don’t know how many people are in the same situation today. All I know is that someone will be free from this bondage today.

    Before I address the core issue, let me tell you that Christianity is a balanced relationship. The same God that says he that wins a soul is wise also says marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral, (Hebrew 13:4 NIV). The practice of holding back mature adults in church from marriage because you don’t want to lose them to other churches or distract them from actively engaging in church growth is unbalanced and unhealthy for the growth you desire. Marriage is an honor before God. It brings glory to God. Anyone that desires to marry should be encouraged before they begin to defy themselves right under your pulpit.

    My counsel is that while encouraging them to continue winning souls they should also be counseled on the right way to find the right kind of spouse and the right way to marry. Teach them to let their marriage become a plus to the church instead of minus. If you alone could chase one thousand souls, let you and your spouse join in marriage to chase after ten thousand souls.

    Matthew 19:12 says: ” For there are some eunuchs, who were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, who were made eunuchs of men; and there are eunuchs, who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it let him receive it.”

    The above scripture clearly defines the three categories of eunuchs. Our point of emphasis here shall be on those born eunuchs from their mothers’ womb. The other two are those forced into it and those that became so by their choice.

    When God created man in His image and likeness, He decreed that he should go into the world and multiply. That declaration is for you and me. The only approved way to achieve this multiplication is to marry legally and keep the matrimonial bed holy. You don’t need an angel to whisper into your ears that it is time to marry. The rules are there in the bible. That is not our focus for today anyway.

    Take example from Abraham, the father of faith. He didn’t need any prophecy to discern whether his son Isaac, needed a wife or not. All he needed was simple wisdom drawn from the Word of God. God told him during his call that through him the earth shall be populated with His new generation of children. He settled it in his mind to get a wife for Isaac to make that calling and purpose come to fruition. At the appointed time, he sent his servant, Eleazar to go to his kindred to get a wife for Isaac. You know the rest of the story in Genesis chapter twenty-four.

    God designed man with all the features required to perform all that He wants him to do on earth in the same way a manufacturer will not put his products in the market place without the inbuilt features to function. Signs of puberty, sexual emotions and strong attraction towards the opposite sex are some indicators that you are ordained to marry. When His due season is near, He begins to impress His desires in your spirit for onward transmission to these dormant sexual potentials in you and suddenly you will awaken to certain pressure in that direction. The bible says, ” it is God who works in us both to will and to do of his good pleasure”, Philippians 2:13. Marriage is one of the good things that bring pleasure to God. When you start feeling the urge or willingness to get married just know God has begun this good work in you. Anybody that has this urge or desire to marry is one of those God has ordained to marry. Period!

    To become a eunuch or to marry is your choice. God has given you the free will to decide it. He will not choose or impose any one on you. Apostle Paul chose not to marry because he wanted to use his life to serve God and not because God said he should not. His case should not become a doctrine to dissuade people from fulfilling God’s purpose for their lives. He even admonished anyone that is unable to bear it to marry instead of burning in lust. If you choose to live a life of celibacy or choose to marry as you have desired, God is pleased with you. Do not allow previous disappointments dissuade you or make you start thinking that it might be that you are among the chosen eunuchs. You are ordained! If things are not working well, find out what you have not been doing right, keep correcting and working on yourself so God can connect you with the right kind of spouse.

    However, it does not mean you should rush into anyone because God has willed it so for you. There is period to find the right kind of spouse and there is time for preparation. My stake here is to let you know that these signs put you in the category God has ordained to marry. You do belong to the group of those made eunuchs from their mother’s womb.

    Parents should watch out for these signs in their children and wards. When these signs begin to show up, it is a signal to parents to start preparing their children or wards for the next phase of their lives. Unfortunately, many parents and guardians around these children do not always prepare them on time, and sometimes they misdirect them through wrong information. We owe the upcoming generation this responsibility as guardians. Those who fail at this level of parenting always regret it because late stitches steal real good time.

    Those made eunuchs from their mother’s womb do not have and will never have the urge to get married because they do not have the features in them. I do not mean those incapacitated by sickness, diseases and infirmities like down syndromes, depression or paralysis. These are healthy and virile folks who are repugnant to the site of the opposite sex. They never have any amorous feelings towards the opposite sex even when they are both nude in a secret room.

    Whether we choose to marry, remain single or born incapacitated, it does not make us sinners or better before God. He loves all of us equally, but it will please Him to see us fulfill His desires for us. I have cleared the obstacles before you. The onus is now on you to decide what you want. Apostle Paul chose not to marry because it was his choice. Apostle Peter did not divorce his wife because of God’s work, yet God accepted them all. Decide your case by yourself.

    Remain Blessed!

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    Source by Christopher UI Ogholoh

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  • Sex Tips: Temperature Play Methods

    Sex Tips: Temperature Play Methods

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    Looking for sex tips to spice things up? There are many ways to do so, but one that many couples are unfamiliar with is incorporating hot and cold play in the bedroom. Altering the temperature can awaken the nerve endings and circulatory system in ways that deliver mind-blowing pleasure to both partners. The following examples, along with safety tips for maintaining vaginal and penis health, can help couples get their bearings in this exciting new world of sensation play.

    Cup of Water

    Keeping a cup of warm (not hot!) water near the bed can boost his oral sex enjoyment. A partner can take a sip, swallow, then take another sip and hold the warm water in his/her mouth, then take the man’s penis inside. Swashing the water around his penis for a few moments then swallowing it will give him a tantalizing experience.

    Breath Play

    Warm, moist breath is one of the body’s most pleasurable heat sources, and making use of this natural heat during foreplay and sex can bring both partners thrilling waves of enjoyment. Gently exhale on a lover’s sensitive spots, including the stomach, neck and ears. Gently breathing on the clitoris and testicles is also encouraged.

    Candle Wax

    Most people have heard of dripping hot candle wax on the skin as part of sex play, and many find this frightening. For good reason – most people don’t want to actually burn their skin. The trick to safely participating in wax play is to use candles made of soy, which don’t require as much heat to melt as those made of beeswax or regular wax, so they are less likely to deliver too much heat. Also, of course, if one has very sensitive skin concerning heat, this method should be avoided.

    Chilled Spoon

    Chill a metal spoon for a bit in a bowl of ice or cold water, then apply the back of the spoon to a lover’s neck, nipples, stomach, etc.

    Plain Old Ice

    An ice cube in the hand can go a long way. Trace a line extending from one side of a lover’s neck all the way down the side of the leg, them up the inside of the leg, down the inside of the other and back up the other side of his or her body. It’s best to avoid the penis and testicles.

    Ice Dildo/Hot Towel

    This is one of the more hardcore forms of temperature play, which should be pursued with caution. The idea is for the man to masturbate with a warm, wet towel around his member while a woman masturbates with a chilled dildo. Then, he enters her, and the sensation change for both is out of this world.

    There are several options for a chilled dildo. Some glass and metal dildos are made to be chilled, but caution should be taken. Glass that gets very cold and then undergoes a sudden temperature change, such as inside the body, can break – yikes! And cold metal may stick to a lady’s warm, wet inside – also no good. Use proper precautions. Let the glass or metal warm just a little; use lube; use condoms; always, always follow packaging instructions.

    Blindfold

    Any of the above techniques can be combined with one another, and all of them may be more enjoyable with a blindfold in place. This will leave a lover anticipating, eager and unaware of what sensation is to come. Sight deprivation may be most exciting when lovers are combining a form of heat play like candle wax with a form of cold play, like ice cubes or a cold spoon.

    Keeping it Safe

    Always check in to be sure that the skin is not being burned or losing sensation due to excessive cold or heat. Don’t freeze or heat toys that were not designed to withstand such temperatures. Ease into temperature play to get to know what one’s skin can tolerate.

    Maintaining skin health on the sexual organs can’t be overrated; one’s ability to sense pleasure depends on it. Men can take an extra step in the penis care department by using a quality penis health creme (health professionals recommend Man1 Man Oil) daily. Shea butter and vitamin E keep the skin moisturized, protecting it from the frictions of a vigorous sex life. Show one’s sex life some excitement with temperature play, and one’s manhood some love with a penis health crème.

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    Source by John Dugan

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  • 7 Qualities of a Good Wife – Part I

    7 Qualities of a Good Wife – Part I

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    Whether you’re a man looking for a good wife or a wife wanting to improve yourself, your marriage or your relationship – take a look at these 7 qualities of a good wife. Good fruit will come from these basic qualities anyone can develop.

    7) Nag free. Ladies, a good wife is going to be nag free. Nagging is an ineffective method of trying to get your husband to perform a task you desire. Trust me ladies – it doesn’t work and often will have the opposite of its intended affect.

    6) Supportive. Are you supportive? What does it mean to be supportive? Do you belittle your man or do you help him to feel good about himself, his job, activities? Your husband will be much more respectful of you if you support him. Even when you don’t agree with him – respectfully let him know you don’t agree – then support him anyway. Otherwise, if he has difficulties – he’ll feel as though you’re adding to his troubles.

    5) Build up your man. Ladies, there’s no quicker way to build resentment in your man than to criticize him – especially in front of others. On the flip side – try genuinely complementing your husband in front of other people. Your husband will glow with admiration toward you and you’ll feel his appreciation as love.

    4) Keep him happy in the bedroom. Unfortunately, many women underestimate the importance of keeping her man’s needs met. Often this comes from the basic differences in women and men. For men, sexual desire is much like physical hunger and if it’s not fed properly – the relationship will struggle. Women must look to understand the needs of the man from his perspective not hers.

    3) Respect. A good wife will try to treat her man with respect. How? Much of learning how to be respectful toward your husband has to do with the way you talk to him. The old phrase “It’s not so much what you say but how you say it” should become a wife’s motto. This doesn’t mean you need to be careful what you say to your husband – just be respectful in the way you say it.

    2) Communicate. Ironically, good communication between men and women can be quite frustrating. However, a good wife will seek to discover what’s on her mind and find a way to express herself to her husband. Often, men and women will make a joint decision – while the man thinks she’s in agreement with him – but only to discover later that she thought the decision was a bad idea.

    1) Be pleasant. Work to be pleasant toward your husband. Don’t be one of those people who makes everyone around you feel bad just because you’ve had a hard day. Good things will come from being pleasant. It’s a decision – just decide to be pleasant. But if you can’t be pleasant – make a decision not to bring him down with you.

    Marriage & Love Blog

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    Source by Edward Welch

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  • Teen Relationships

    Teen Relationships

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    Before I start to talk about teen relationships I feel I have to make a clarification. Many people when they think of the word relationship, automatically equate it to love or sexual relationship. According to the general definition of relationship this is any connection between two or more elements and these elements can be anything from chemical substances to human beings. So from this definition it is simple to deduct the meaning of this word applied to human beings. A teen relationship can be any kind of relationship

    1. between teens of the same gender
    2. between teens of the opposite gender, like boyfriend girlfriend relationships
    3. between teens and other persons of the same or different gender and different age.

    The quality of these relationships can also vary, but there are two kinds of teenager relationships I’m going to talk about here;

    • teen friendships and
    • teen love relationships

    Teen Friendships

    This kind of teenager relationship will fit into all three categories above. It can exist between a teenager and other persons of same or different gender and age. A good friend – no matter age or gender – is one of the best things you can have on this earth. A really good friend that is special to you and means much to you. A person that is always there for you.

    Many successful love relationships has started with friendship and this is probably the reason for it’s success. The better you know the other person, the better you’ll go along with him or her and in a long lasting love relationship – as man and woman – your appreciation of your partner as a friend will mean much more than anything else. If we look at it from the other end, it seems much more difficult to build a friendship from a love or sexual relationship. In fact, I have not heard about it, maybe you have but the point is that a good friendship is always good to have both as a basis of a future love relationship and as a friendship by itself.

    A teenage friendship can exist between anyone no matter what gender, age, race, background or whatever. A 13 year old girl and a 50 year old man can have a great and even lifelong friendship together as well as two teenagers of the same gender.

    Teen love relationships

    While you can talk quite frankly and straight forward in a friendship most of us are more aware of not hurting the partner in a love relationship. This can evolve to a degree of lies and even no communication at all just to protect your partner.

    There are also more mutual expectations in a love relationship and more intimate emotions are involved than in a good friendship. A teen love relationship can be great and long lasting but if there is no basis of friendship in it the probability of sustaining it is significantly lower. There are some legally defined limitations with regards to who can go into a teen love or sexual relationship. It is illegal for people of 18 years and above to have a sexual relation to a minor but It is definitely not illegal to have older friends.

    A good friendship is one of the best gifts God has provided our lives with and even if you marry the sweetest boy or girl in the world, neither of you will be happy if you aren’t good friends.

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    Source by Terje Ellingsen

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  • Guilt Is a Useless Emotion

    Guilt Is a Useless Emotion

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    I once read a poem in my doctor’s office that went something like this:

    If a child is raised in anger, he will feel anger.

    If a child is raised with guilt, he will feel guilty.

    If a child is raised with shame, he will feel shame.

    If a child is raised in love, he will feel love.

    Of course that is not the whole poem, but you get the point. At the time, the poem was just something to read while I waited. Today the meaning is very clear to me.

    There is no such thing as guilt, you can not go to the store and buy a pound or bag of guilt. It is a man made ego minded emotion this is detrimental to humans living to their full potential.

    It seems to me that women carry so much guilt, whether it stems from being a woman, or the way we raised our children, or for being/or wanting to be successful, to being a sexual human. Where did it all start? Why have we continued to pass this down to each new generations? Mostly we do it subconsciously, although I know there are times when it is used for our advantage in certain situations.

    Many moons ago the female Goddess energy was the ruler of the universe, it was honored and valued. Did guilt arise when we stopped tuning into that energy and were slowly overpowered by the male energy that has dominated the universe for so long? Was it because we stopped standing our ground and speaking our truth? Who knows were guilt originated. I am not saying it is a female only emotion, nor pointing fingers, my point is for this particular article only.

    Guilt has kept so many stuck in the same place for years. Why? Just like the poem says, it is passed down through the stories we were told by our parents, grand parents, teachers and role models. These stories were laced with limiting beliefs that blocked us from actually achieving our full potential in life. This useless emotion became a vicious circle that many are still trying to step out of, or don’t even realize they are in.

    You get a great idea that will make you lots of money. Then the guilt thinking comes in, you start to hear the old stories, you can’t make more money than your husband, men are supposed to support the family. You may even see pictures of the people telling the story. OR, even worse, you want to express your sexuality, or your sexual energy and you hear that voice saying “good girls don’t” Well guess what, good girls do, and they have been for years. Even those catholic girls in high school that swore they didn’t. They do. We are human, we don’t need to feel guilty about anything. Especially expressing our true selves.

    Everyone makes mistakes in life, everyone, but we don’t have to feel guilty about it and carry it with us the rest of our lives. It is time to free ourselves of the past, to free ourselves of the guilt. It is time to forgive ourselves for allowing this to control any part of our lives.

    Guilt is an emotion that comes from fear based thinking. If we take a really good look at why we feel guilty for any particular situation, we will probably find that the thought process is not even our own. It was something passed down to us from someone else. And to think that is ruling our days!!

    Fortunately there is good news. The choice is ours as to whether we are going to carry the guilt or let it go. Give a moment to think how you would feel if you decided right this moment to let go of it. How would it feel to have put it out with the garbage on Monday morning? How does it feel? Light? Airy? Expansive? Free? Now ask yourself this. How often do you put the garbage out at the road, and then walk out and bring it back into the house? Never, Right? The same needs to happen when letting go of guilt, once you put it out, leave it out. In fact don’t even go back to smell it.

    How can we release guilt? Here are a few steps, these require you to love yourself enough to give yourself permission to feel good.

    1. Write out what you feel guilty about and why. Take one situation at a time. Write adamantly, don’t hold back on anything, just let it all go, allow the emotions to flow. Once you are done, set it down for a few moments, then go back and write a little more. Don’t read it over, tear it up, or burn it. As you do repeat ” I now choose to let this go, it no longer affects my life.”

    2. Sit with a situation in mind. Allow yourself to feel how you feel about it, visualize it, hear the stories other people told you about the situation. Feel where you feel this in your body. Ask yourself if the guilt is yours or someone else’s? When you have sat with it as long as you can, allow yourself to let it go. Visualize it leaving your body, feel it leaving your body and say I choose to let this go. I no longer need this in my life. I let it go in exchange for peace.

    3. Change the story you are telling yourself. When you catch yourself telling the guilt story either to yourself or someone else, catch it, don’t judge it, just change it to something possible, with positive emotions. Be aware of the thoughts and stories you tell, after all we get to choose them, they might as well be positive.

    4. Train your mind to look for thing to be grateful for. You will always find what you are look for, again it might as well be positive.

    In doing these exercises you will release the emotional charge the thoughts and feelings have on you. The memories may come back from time to time, but the emotions will not take hold of you, they will not control you. Quilt really is a useless emotion, with a choice attached. I choose to let it go so I can soar through the rest of my life free as a bird. Free yourself.

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    Source by Jenn Prothero

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  • Penis Protection and Oral Sex

    Penis Protection and Oral Sex

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    Conduct a poll among men of their favorite kinds of sex, and oral sex would be right up there near the top. Indeed, for some men, oral sex is their number one choice. Its pleasures and appeal are obvious, but for those in non-monogamous relationships, the penis protection issue always arises when discussing forms of sex. There is debate over how much concern there should be about penis health when oral sex comes into play. So, should a guy take any steps in terms of penis protection where oral sex is concerned?

    Risks

    As with penetrative sex, oral sex does carry some risk of passing sexually transmitted infections (STIs) from one partner to the next. For example, if a man’s penis is orally pleased by someone who has an STI like chlamydia or gonorrhea in the throat, there is a significant risk that the STI will be passed on to that man’s penis. Similarly, if a man is orally servicing the penis of a man with an STI like chlamydia or gonorrhea on the penis, that STI can be passed onto the man’s throat. In the latter case, the chances of a man contracting the STI are increased further if he has issues such as bleeding gums or gum disease.

    What about HIV? The risk of transmission is much, much lower through oral sex than through anal or vaginal sex; there are few reported cases, and some researchers suspect that some cases attributed to oral sex may actually have originated through anal sex. However, the official consensus is that while the risk of HIV transmission through oral sex is very low, it is still possible. It is further thought that the risk is even lower if there is no swallowing of ejaculate. As with other STIs, the risk of transmission is thought to increase if the person servicing the penis has poor dental hygiene, such as bleeding gums or gum disease.

    Penis protection

    Doctors recommend that condoms be used to decrease further the risk of transmission of STIs and HIV. However, in practice, it is thought that few men follow this recommendation. If such is the case, and if a man is sexually active outside of a mutually monogamous relationship, there are several things he can do to provide better penis protection. These include:

    – Limiting the number of sexual partners with whom he is active. The greater the number of partners, the higher the risk of transmission.

    – Partnering with others who limit their number of partners. Similarly, if the individuals a man partners with also limit their number of partners, the penis is better protected.

    – Getting tested regularly. Sexually active men in non-monogamous relationships are encouraged to be tested for STIs and HIV on a regular basis; every three months is the general recommendation. This enables STIs to be caught early on so that treatment can begin. It is also advised that a man choose sex partners who are similarly tested on a regular basis. (Remember, in many instances, it is possible to have an STI and exhibit no symptoms; therefore, regular testing is the best bet for an early diagnosis.)

    In general, oral sex is much safer than other forms of sex, and is especially so when a condom is employed. But it is not without risks by any means.

    Penis protection goes beyond covering one’s bases where oral sex is concerned and includes daily steps to maintain overall penis health. One of the most important steps in that area is to regularly apply a superior penis health creme (health professionals recommend Man 1 Man Oil, which is clinically proven mild and safe for skin). For the best results, find a cream that features a wide range of healthy vitamins, including A, B5, C, D, and E. Ideally, such a cream will also include L-carnitine, a neuroprotective ingredient that is helpful in maintaining penis sensitivity, especially when a penis regularly undergoes rough handling.

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    Source by John Dugan

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  • Study Links Drug Use to High Rates of Syphilis

    Study Links Drug Use to High Rates of Syphilis

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    A connection between drug use and high syphilis rates in the United States was established by a recent report released by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Sarah Kidd, lead author of the report, pointed out that two major health issues, namely addiction and syphilis, seemed to be colliding with each other.

    The report displayed a connection between drug use and instances of syphilis in heterosexual men and women. As per the report, the usage of heroin, methamphetamine, and other injection drugs by the aforementioned group almost doubled from 2013 to 2017.

    The report however, did not display a similar increase in drug abuse in gay men suffering from syphilis. According to the researchers, the results of the study indicated that risky sexual behaviors associated with drug abuse may be one of the key driving factors for this increase in syphilis among the heterosexual population.

    People using drugs more likely to engage in unsafe sexual activities

    According to experts, people abusing drugs are more likely to engage in unsafe sexual activities, thereby making them more susceptible to sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Syphilis significantly increased among heterosexuals especially during the ‘crack cocaine epidemic’ prevalent during the 1980s and 1990s. It was observed that during this particular time period, the usage of drugs was connected with the higher transmission rates of syphilis.

    According to Patricia Kissinger, professor epidemiology at the Tulane University School of Public Health and Tropical Medicine, it is common tendency among people abusing drugs to indulge in unprotected sex, exchange sex in lieu of money or drugs, and have multiple sex partners. All these are considered as significant risk factors contributing to the spread of the disease.

    Syphilis rates are setting new records

    At the national level, the occurrences of syphilis jumped by around 73 percent at an overall level and 156 percent in case of women patients between 2013 and 2017. While syphilis had been almost eradicated, of late, the highest resurgence of the disease was reported in California, Louisiana, and Nevada. Syphilis can be treated with antibiotics, but if left untreated, it can cause organ damage and even death in some cases. In women, congenital syphilis typically occurs when a mother transmits the disease to her unborn baby, leading to cases of premature birth and newborn fatalities.

    Analyzing the syphilis cases that occurred between 2013 and 2017, the researchers discovered that methamphetamine abuse was the biggest contributor. The report revealed that more than one-third of women and a quarter of heterosexual men suffering from syphilis were reported to be abusing methamphetamine within the last year. The California Department of Public Health reported that methamphetamine use by people suffering from syphilis, doubled in case of heterosexual men and women between 2013 and 2017.

    Why is it difficult to treat sexually transmitted infections?

    Owing to the overlapping instances of substance abuse and sexually transmitted infections (STIs), it becomes challenging to identify and treat people suffering from syphilis. That is because, typically, people using drugs are less likely to visit a doctor or report their sexual activities or partners.

    Likewise, pregnant women may refrain from seeking prenatal care and get themselves tested for syphilis owing to concerns such as their gynecologists reporting their drug abuse. To combat this issue, the CDC urges to bring about more collaboration between programs treating substance abuse and programs addressing STIs.

    Fresno County reported highest rate of congenital syphilis

    According to the report, the highest rate of congenital syphilis was reported in Fresno County in California. The county’s community health division manager, Joe Prado, said that the California Health Department analyzed around 25 congenital syphilis cases in 2017 and more than two-thirds of these women were abusing drugs.

    To address this issue, the country took proactive measures such as offering STD testing for patients getting admitted into inpatient drug treatment centers. Patients coming back for reports were provided incentives including gift cards. Apart from this, for patients undergoing drug treatment, the county offered a care package comprising of contraceptives and education materials about STIs.

    Challenges faced

    While it is significant to have an increased collaboration between STD clinics and drug treatment providers, it is not always that simple, since these two entities have not worked together previously. Usually both these units tend to focus only on their relevant specialties and often fail to screen people for associated ailments like syphilis or other forms of STIs or for drug abuse.

    According to Jeffrey Kalusner, professor of medicine and public health at the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA), in order to fight the rising rates of syphilis more resources are needed. He added that though policies can be implemented towards syphilis testing, these policies need to be accompanied with appropriate resources.

    Seeking treatment for drug abuse

    Drug abuse is often associated with the development of physical ailments like hepatitis C, human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), syphilis and other STDs. These infections can be severe and result in rapid deterioration of overall health. The best way to avoid the contraction of these diseases is to avoid taking drugs or if addicted, to seek addiction treatment help at the earliest.

    The drug rehab centers of Hillside Mission offer comprehensive evidence-based treatment plans for substance abuse. Whether selecting an inpatient, outpatient, or a residential plan, the detox process at Hillside Mission is designed to minimize the patient’s discomfort and result in a shorter treatment cycle.

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    Source by Susan Navarez

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  • HIV Dating Site Profiles – Five Valuable Tips You Needs To Consider

    HIV Dating Site Profiles – Five Valuable Tips You Needs To Consider

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    It will be easier they obtain the wrong understanding of you. Here’s a month-by-month search the rearview mirror at AIDS in DC. It comes with more than 10,000 people Washington State living with HIV.

    No one person’s life runs completely smoothly at some time our lives, things become difficult and difficult to bear. This is at that time when most of us turn to others seeking some support and getting a grasp on. Should one of the crosses to deal with be coping with AIDS or HIV than not only is this support of value, but it may well also bring a whole new meaning for life. The actual reason being especially so when the HIV support stems from a supply of knowledge, truth and complete understanding.

    Many individuals with HIV or AIDS have managed to branch out and date people that don’t also possess disease. The herpes virus can be passed through either blood or sexual fluids, so doable! Greatly solve your risk of spreading flu citrus by just taking vital precautions. Are usually keep your physical romance to simply kissing, there isn’t a risk whatsoever. Condoms are a great option for people who wish to get more involved with another without worrying about disease smeared. Check out the HIV dating sites.

    The Internet has connected people from all of over disease. It currently is possible to meet up with someone within the country or even just across your city with the click of the handle. When you join a world-wide-web dating site for along with HIV happen to be not limited to meeting locals you’re the area. You can meet people from anywhere. The thing about produce is people today you meet already know you are HIV positive. Your biggest fear is already conquered.

    When you see real love, it is easy to feel ready to get on the world. Really loving someone means loving them for who they are and accepting the whole life.

    Is meeting real people today value $five – $ten a month? How considerably is invested heading to be able to bars fulfilling people? And in case a person is spending, aren’t they significant about meeting a buyer?

    A further decision to make is getting in touch with join an absolutely free or a paying membership site. Free websites do not usually possess any advanced features and may necessitate an individual essentially pay before purchase access emails etc. Paid HIV dating sites will have better security as perform not let the entire internet to examine your data. Check out features of sites to unearth one particular fit you’ve.

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    Source by Dinah Taylor

    Views: 0