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Selecting the Character's Emotion

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The last article covered the process used in selecting and portraying the character's objective. Many of the same principles also apply to the selection of the emotions. As with the objective, the ability to choose and convey strong emotions is a valuable tool for the actor. Many performances work mainly because of the powerful emotional portrayals.

In a dramatic sense, what are emotions and how do they affect the audience? Emotions, together with intentions and obstacles, are the forces that move the characters through the story. They are feelings so powerful that they can change the character's life or destroy it. And by destroy, I mean decimate one's inner powers, beliefs, even one's life. For the actor, such feelings must be larger than life. They must also be readable to stir and lead the audience in the desired story direction.

Emotions affect the audience in many ways. Most important is the empathy they create causing the audience to care about certain characters and follow their struggles. They likewise, create a for or against polarity for each main character as the audience observes, evaluates, judges, and even takes sides. As part of the behavior, emotions create deeper awareness of the character, often justifying their actions. In addition, emotions can change the audience perspective and the way they feel or think about a given issue. They are instrumental in leading the audience in the desired story direction

Like the intention, the emotion can intensify the conflict within or between characters. It can likewise, establish sympathetic or antagonistic roles, ones that make the audience root for the hero and boo the villain.

In choosing the emotion, the guidelines are similar to those used in selecting the objective. First read and study the entire play. Look for clues in the dialogue, the action, the stage directions, and in the resolution of the story. Select choices that result in the story line making sense.

Like the intent of the character, the emotion is derived from the character's viewpoint, what the character knows and feels up to that point in the story.

No one lives in a realistic world. We occupy a space of our own creation – bits and pieces of actuality mixed together with our internal perceptions, our hopes, our fears, our memories, and our anticipations. This "reality" we live in – half fact, half fantasy – is as much the product of our emotions as our rationality. Thus, in any given situation, what might be an acceptable intention and emotion for one character might be a contradiction for another character. Knowing the character's goals, flaws, and inclinations in context of the total story will aid in determining these choices.

Next, we need to answer the question, does the character's emotion assist the intention or does the emotion create an obstacle? Placing the objective, what the character wants, in conflict with what he or she feels will likely shift the focus of the scene to the character with the greater internal struggle.

Let's use the example where a man is at a dance and sees the women of his dreams sitting alone. His intention might be: To get to know her. But his emotion, fear of being rejected, would be in conflict with his intention. Thus the focus of the scene would be primarily on his internal struggle and the purpose of the scene might be to show the man overcoming his fear.

But let's say her intention, to marry rich, is assisted by the emotion, ambition. And the scene resolves when the women walks away when she discovers the man is dirt poor. If his initial emotion of fear were replaced by desire and his intention remained to get to know her then the focus of the scene would center more on the relationship and the impending discovery. The purpose of the scene could be to introduce his major obstacle in the story, the women, along with his over all goal: To win her love.

The initial choices for each character might look like this:

MAN

Objective: To get to know her

Emotion: Fear / Desire

WOMAN

Objective: To marry rich

Emotion: Ambition

The above choices set up confrontations, the inner doubts of the man, and then, his desire for her is countered by the revelation that he's not rich enough for her. After the woman learns this, her emotion changes to contempt for the man and she walks away. The characters' choices would now change to:

MAN

Objective: To win her love

Emotion: Determination

WOMAN

Objective: To marry rich

Emotion: Contempt (for the man)

These choices place the focus of the scene on the major conflict that is resolved later in the story when he wins her love. It, likewise, centers on what's important, the relationship.

As with the intention of the characters, the emotion need not follow the logic of the dialogue and action. Modern plays and movies do not always express the thoughts and emotions of the characters clearly, nakedly, up front. Today, we have to play the duality of people; playing what they appear to want against what they really want. And sometimes the two may have no connection what so ever.

In modern plays, every character has two behaviors. What is really going on and what they are willing to show to the world? So many emotions, to be played properly, need to be partially masked or repressed.

Using the man and woman from our earlier example, let's set up a scene later in the story, one that demonstrates the duality of the characters and uses of partially masked or repressed emotions. At a shopping mall, they meet by chance and their dialogue is mainly small talk. The scene ends with each alluding to errands undone. The only hint about what is really going on is found in the following script action lines:

He rarely looks directly at her.

They shake hands, each holding on longer than necessary, and then each goes their way.

In view of the story's final outcome, this is likely a scene where her objective, to marry rich, is weakening, and that she has some attraction for the man. Based on how their first meeting resolved, their selections might be as follows:

MAN

Objective: To not upset her / To win her love

Emotion: Desire / Determination

WOMAN

Objective: To show him I don't care / To make him want me

Emotion: Determination / Curiosity

This would be a scene where the characters are not open with each other, yet the audience (or camera) is aware of the inner conflicts and what's really happening. The behavior could best be reflected through masked and / or repressed emotions.

If the man were to play his emotion of desire openly, he would surely upset her. So he has to repress it or use a mask technique and unleash his desire when she is not looking at him. The woman is determined to show the man she doesn't care about him, but now he appears to have no desire for her. From her point of view, something has come to change the relationship and as a result, she alters both her objective and emotion.

His apparent disinterest makes her curious and her objective in now: To make him want me, like all men do. Her actions might be to get his attention, to entice him. But the problem is, he's not looking at her. How can she obtain what she wants? She uses the lingering handshake.

You can see where these choices create conflict both within and between the characters. They also create subtle shifts in behavior that move the story forward. Interest in the relationship is likewise increased because the audience is aware of something the characters are not. And as the scene ends, the audience has a pressing question: "What will happen the next time they meet?"

The foregoing example demonstrates one answer to the character's choices. These are, by no means, the best or only selections. In fact, the type of actor you are is also a consideration. If you were Jack Nicholson, your emotions might be different than if Arnold Schwarzenegger were he playing the same role. Each actor brings to the scene his or her own perspective and emotional latitudes. Furthermore, a scene played as a comedy versus one being played as a drama might result in different sets of emotions for the characters.

Here are some other factors that should be considered: Who are you in the story? What is the situation, and what is the relationship? For instance, if you were playing a love scene as a character that had little experience with the opposite sex, your emotion might be fear (fear of the unknown) rather than the expected desire or lust.

Now change the situation to your having a good dinner with your loving spouse. Your emotion would change to maybe contentment or joy. Now change the relationship to your having dinner with an important client. Your emotion might range from apprehension to ambition to greed. Who you are, the relationships, and the situation, all have a bearing on the emotion selected.

How many emotions can you use in a scene and how long do you play an emotion? As a general rule, work with only one dominant emotion in a scene – until something occurs to change it. These occurrences could be a change in the relationship, the situation, who you are, new information, overcoming obstacles, new obstacles, and succeeding or failing at one's intention. Any one of these events could have enough impact to motivate a change.

Most scenes have one dominant emotion running through them and while the actor may use subtle shadings of other emotions, that one feeling prevails – until something occurs to change it. If the actor were to change the emotion at each minor occurrence, the audience would question the character's integrity and loyalty to the cause for which he is fighting.

Too many changes cause the character to lose part of his identity. We become uncertain about who he is, what he's attempted in the past, or what he's after now. Credible characters are made up of consistent behavioral patterns. By that I mean, what has happened before will likely happen again should the same situation occur. There will, of course, be a few surprises, but for the most part, certain emotions will dominate each character's behavior as he or she progresses through the story.

So when you research and study the entire play, you will likely find certain emotions and emotional patterns repeated to reinforce the identity and commitment of the character. For instance, the repeated pattern of mischief – embarrassment – fear might be the dominant emotions for a small overly rambunctious boy. A young executive struggling with business ethics might have an emotion pattern of ambition – determination – greed – guilt. A woman in jeopardy might follow a curiosity-suspicion – fear – terror progression.

As you can see, certain emotions and their progressions make up a portion of the character. Also look for surprises where the emotion swings 180 degrees, ie, contentment to fear, desire to contempt, revenge to compassion.

When working on a play or scene, write down in the margin of the script your choices in objectives and emotions, where the changes occur, and the motivation for making the change. Beginning actors tend to be non-committal while experienced actors, however, take dramatic risks and commit themselves to their choices. By writing them down, you've made a major step to that commitment.

To aid in selecting the emotion, I've compiled discussions of root emotions , the primary forces in most scenes. These discussions explore the physical sensations, sources, forms, and dynamics of the most common root emotions. They will serve as a guide in stretching the clarity, strength, and polarity of your emotional repertoire.

This article has covered the basic skills used in the selection of dramatic emotions. Use these skills as tools to nurture and release the character's true feelings, to foster the isolation and control of emotional behaviors, and to achieve the desired strength (story importance), clarity (audience knowing / feeling it) and polarity (protagonist-antagonist orientations ).

Implementation of your selections is addressed in another article. This article will cover the various methods used to generate credible emotions.

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Source by Erik Sean McGiven

Views: 0

November 12, 2022
Sex Toys: Good or Evil? (2)

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Consequences

There are dire consequences for using sex toys. First, it will attract legions of sex demons (incumbi and succumbi) spirits to you. Second, it will make you permanently spiritually unfit and cause leakages of spiritual powers, gifts, confidence and abilities. Third, it is immoral and thus, a sin against God. Four, it will attract curses from God and from demonic spirits. Five, the curses may turn generational. Six, it can lead to psychological and mental hang-ups that can make you hate or withdraw from the opposite sex, and thereby not fulfilling the original plans of God to have a healthy sexual relationship and union.

Incumbus and Succumbus (sex demons)

You cannot use or keep sex toys, objects, dolls, pornographic materials or masturbate without opening doors for very sex hungry marauding demon spirits. There are satanic spirits that specialize in attacking humans through sex. Like the bible has given us a little window into the dark world, these demons like their fellows go to and fro, day and night searching for victims. In fact, Jesus said they roam about looking for where to enter and occupy. True. And worse, they are in millions and that was why Jesus could cast out thousands of them from just one person! And seven terrible ones from the woman prostitute – Mary Magdalene:

“Not long afterwards Jesus began a tour of the nearby cities and villages to announce the Good news concerning the kingdom of God. He took his twelve disciples with him, along with some women he had healed and from whom he had cast out evil spirits. Among them were Mary Magdalene, from whom he had cast out seven demons. Joanna, the wife of Chuza, Herod’s business manager, Susanna, and many others.

– Luke 8:1-3.

All prostitutes, immoral sinners including sex toy users and other ‘masturbators’ are possessed with sex demonic spirits. You may not know all they battle with until they open up. They struggle with many seen and unseen things and beings – physically and spiritually; even in their dreams. Mary Magdalene; a prostitute and other women were having these issues until they came to Jesus who cast out those spirits upon their repentance. And they became free. Look at Mary, after that encounter with Jesus her real person, gift, love for God came out. She immediately became one of the most trusted followers of the Lord Jesus. She ministered to Jesus, stood by Him at the Cross, watched His burial, came early to observe his sepulchre and also was privileged to see the risen Lord. Wow!.You real personality, your love for God will only come out when you throw away or burn those instrument of immorality called sex dolls, toys and vibrators. True. Burn those toys now! We will continue next. God bless!

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Source by Gabriel Agbo

Views: 0

November 11, 2022
Relief for a Sore Penis – Healing After Aggressive Sex
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A good roll in the hay or an especially sensual round of solo action can lead men to unbelievable ecstasy, followed a glow of satisfaction and a sense of relaxation and well-being. However, it can also lead to soreness, aching and a lingering feeling of discomfort – not the takeaway most men are looking for from the experience. While a sore penis after sex is common, and in general nothing serious, knowing how to prevent the pain from happening, and how to relieve it when it does occur – can improve men’s overall penis health and even enhance the sensations they feel during the proceedings.

What causes penis pain?

Penis pain can occur for a number of reasons and can even be related to more than one of these factors:
- Chafing – while the sliding, gliding and thrusting of sex feels tremendous in the moment, there is actually a lot of heat being generated by the friction. Most men won’t notice this when it is happening, unless things are particularly dry, but when the heat of the moment is over, this chafing can lead to red, raw-looking skin, or even the appearance of a rash. Over time, friction from intercourse or masturbation can cause the skin to overcompensate during healing, and a thicker layer of keratinized dermal tissue may be the result. Since this callus-like tissue can actually block pleasurable sensation, preventing it from occurring through regular moisturizing and use of a lube is highly recommended.
- Irritation – the penis skin is fairly delicate, and exposure to a partner’s body fluids, as well as lubes, latex, or other substances which may come into play can cause the skin to become irritated. Redness, itching, burning and even swelling may ensue. Avoiding known irritants is important here, so if a reaction seems to occur any time a particular product is used, eliminating this from the process is a good idea.
- Blunt force trauma or torsion – in a heated moment, it is natural to get overly enthusiastic, but abrupt moves can lead to sudden impact with a partner’s pelvic bone or with a sudden twist or turn that can cause penis pain and even rupture the penile tissue. Taking care during play sessions and avoiding sudden, forceful moves may take some of the excitement out of the process, but it can also prevent a world of hurt later on.
How to relieve a sore penis

When soreness and injuries do occur, pain relief may be the first thing on a man’s mind. In some cases, all that is needed is a little time off, but in others, some TLC at home can do the trick. Applying cold compresses (not too cold, or frostbite can be a real danger) or using an over-the-counter oral pain reliever may help to take the edge off while things heal. It is always a good idea to check with a doctor before trying any self-care techniques, however, especially in the case of sudden injury or for men who are being treated for other medical conditions.

When professional help is needed

If a penile injury is accompanied by a popping sound and/or sharp pain; if bruising or bleeding occurs; or if a man experiences an erection that does not dissipate after several hours, prompt medical attention is necessary to treat potentially serious issues.

Extra support for a stressed, sore penis

Aside from pain relief and waiting out the healing process, men can take some proactive steps, not only to promote healing, but also to prevent a recurrence of the problem:
- First of all, using a lubricant – and a little bit of common sense – for future sessions can also help to prevent injuries from friction, accidental impact, or sudden bending or twisting.
- Second, in order to heal properly, the penile tissues need to work harder than normal. Repairing damaged tissue requires essential nutrients that men can obtain through a penis vitamin cream. (health professionals recommend Man 1 Man Oil) that is fortified with vitamins and amino acids, as well as natural emollients for extra relief. After the healing process is complete, continuing to apply a quality penis health cream can help to reduce the degree of cellular damage that can result from rough treatment.
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Source by John Dugan

Views: 0
November 11, 2022
Clues That Your Relationship Might Be Coming To an End

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Nobody likes going through a break up. A break up can leave you feeling betrayed. It hurts and often takes a long time to get over. A break up can be especially be bad if it comes as a surprise. This often leaves a person confused. So how can a person recognize if the relationship they are in is about to end? There are clues you can look for. These often involve a change in behavior being exhibited by your significant other.

Here are some common signs that your relationship may be coming to an end:

1. Is you partner avoiding your phone calls?

This a major clue to understanding why your relationship could be coming to and end. Lets face it when you don’t answer your cell phone it is because you do not want to talk to that person or organization. So why would your significant other not answer your phone call? It could be they are romantically involved with somebody else.

2. Has your partner become less Romantic?

Of course when you are lying in bed with your significant other and they are not romantically inclined is a definite sign to the beginning of the end to your relationship. This is especially evident when there a general lack of foreplay In fact this could me they are already romantically inclined to another individual.

3. Is your partner spending more time with friends?

There is nothing wrong when your significant other spends time with their friends. This is there play time. However this a place where they can meet other people of the opposite sex. If your relationship is on the rocks. If she or he is spending more time than usual with friends this could be a very strong clue to the end of your relationship

4. You often get into arguments over trivial things.

These situations often mean much bigger problems are the root cause. It is alright to discuss things with you partner. Sometimes there will anger in the discussion. However a good relationship will forgive and be capable of compromise. But if you and your significant other argue over trivial things them you are heading foe a possible separation or worse a divorce.

5. Has your partner become disrespectful towards you?

Bad behavior such as checking out other women or men could a definite sign. This a definite sign of possible break up. This is also a sign when a woman starts looking at other men. She will do to indicate to her man that she is not satisfied with him.

Understanding your relationship with somebody is not easy. However this relationship is worth keeping. the first thing you must develop is a friendship before you become romantically involved.

best regards

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Source by Paul Luciw

Views: 0

November 10, 2022
The Gay Solution (1): Finding a Loving Male Partner to Marry

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Sex without love wouldn't satisfy you for more than 15 minutes and love without sex wouldn't satisfy you at all. So how do you find both in the same man? That was the question I left you with in a previous article.

A friend of mine is a life-insurance broker. He always says that there is only one rule for survival in sales and that is see people, see people, and see people. It's a numbers game. Of all the people you are going to see only between 2 and 10% will buy from you, so the more you see, the better your sales. Meeting people is exactly the same; the more people you meet, the better your chance of meeting the right person. Luckily there are a few possibilities in meeting new people.

The older guys (read: even older than I am) tell us that they didn't have gay clubs, bars, or dating services so they had to refine their gaydar and flirting skills. The fact is that those skills are still just as valuable today as they were years ago. Another important skill is taking it one step at a time. Two types of guys never end up with a perfect match; those who fly off in a second, and those who never come out of the starting block. The guys that fly off are proposing marriage before they even know the other guy, and those in the starting blocks only stare evening in and evening out.

If you are a flyer you need to relax. Look for friends in stead of possible partners. Nothing is a bigger turn-off than a guy who hits on you after he has tried everybody else on his way to your table. Friendly people have a few good friends, many acquaintances, and two or three possible people they might be interested in. Guys who try to fly into serious relationships have no friends, one or two acquaintances, and the whole city as possible people they are interested in. The important thing you should learn from this is that you start by meeting lots of people, you will find a few very good friends among them, and in time you will meet somebody you are really interested in. Flyers always run the risk of getting their heart broken on a weekly basis. You can never keep up with who they are in love with – it changes every time you see them, and every month or two they try you yet again. That is when you decide to ignore them completely.

The guys who never take off are almost in the same position. They see a possibility every night, but they are too scared to do anything about it. They look a bit weird if they stand in a corner ogling everybody so you ignore them as well. They have a few acquaintances that turns into friends because they normally end up in a group of seekers – waiting for something that never happens. If you are in such a group get out and start building your self-esteem. If you do not think that you are good enough as a partner, nobody else will believe in you either.

With that in your mind go back to the gay clubs, gay bars, dating sites, and the gay section of your local bookstore – start by making friends, being a good friend, and enjoying friendship for its own rewards. Stay away from the friend-zone – that is the ogling bunch in the corner. You will do fine.

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Source by Brand Doubell

Views: 0

July 28, 2022
Gay Marriage and Similarity With Legitimising Children Born Out of Wedlock

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It is not that long ago that children who were born to unwed parents were ostracised by society and illegitimate according to the law. The only thing they were responsible for was being born of parents whom religion targeted because their union was not 'sanctioned' by the Church. That type of baloney is no different to banning gay or transvestite people from legal recognition of their love for each other and a bonding relationship.

The Catholic Church uses marriage as a sacrament and is bitterly opposed to anything that weakens its grip over society. Established by Constantine, a Roman Caesar who is identified as 666 in Revelation 13: 12-18, the religion has used everything from violence to murder to maintain its position.

Thankfully people are waking up to its lies and the agenda it serves, but not quickly enough. It is based on the premise of heaven and hell as places of eternity after death. This is its greatest lie as no such places exist.

Professing to hold the 'keys to heaven' its rituals and laws are based on those of ancient Babylon and the Islamic religion, which developed in that city. Constantine was an Amorite, that is the nation who raided Italy and built Roma (reverse Amor).

He reinstated Mary, the Mother God of that city, as the Mother of God. Men marry 'Mary' to become priests, exactly as was practiced in that place. Jerome, who followed soon after, wrote the New Testament based on the laws, festivals, calendar, and rituals of Islam.

My research into the roots of Catholicism and, therefore, religion followed my reincarnation and knowledge that there is a Great Spirit of the Universe that controls all things. Nowhere in the bible is marriage mentioned and as the New Testament is fake anything in it is not and should not be of concern.

Just as people fought to be recognized as legitimate in the eyes of the law those who are gay or transvestite are fighting now a very similar battle. As a man in my last life and a female in this one it is something I understand all too well.

In my early life my body felt strange but the insight given to me showed that this was done for a reason. I missed the strength of being a man and have never been 'womanly' as such, although I am also not gay. It is time, therefore, to put all questions of equality to rest and to legalimise same-sex marriage. After all, what harm is it to anyone other than the Catholic Church?

If people want a ritual and to dress up in fancy clothes and have a party, then they should be allowed to do so. While there is no such thing now as an 'illegitimate' child, nor should there be prejudice and hate towards those who life their life in a loving relationship outside of what is considered the 'norm'.

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Source by Norma Holt

Views: 0

July 27, 2022
Dating: Is It A Bad Idea To Have Sex On The First Date?

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Many, many years ago, sex was something that people would typically have if they wanted children. Nowadays, it is something that lot of people have if they want to experience pleasure.

In the past, then, it was generally seen as having one purpose and in the present, it is generally seen as having another. Now, while there were people in the past who did have sex for other reasons, there is no denying how different it is today.

Separated

If it wasn’t for the contraceptive pill, it is highly unlikely that sex would be seen in the same way as it is often seen today. Naturally, this has lowered the risk of a woman getting pregnant, thereby making it possible for her to have sex without needing to worry about what will happen after.

Along with this, a man can use a condom to stop his sperm from causing any problems. So, in the same way that someone might have a piece of chocolate to experience pleasure, they can also have sex to achieve the same outcome.

It’s Just Sex

Unlike most of their ancestors, this could be the only thing they know. Therefore, if they were to hear about how, in the past, people typically had sex to procreate, they may find it amusing.

In their eyes, sex could be seen as something that is there to be enjoyed; only having it to create a child is not going make any sense. And, as sex is something that can be extremely enjoyable, why would anyone only want to have it in order to procreate?

An Easy Decision

If someone has this view when it comes to sex, they may have no trouble sleeping with another person on the first date. This could be seen as a way for them to find out if they are sexually compatible.

Sex will be such an important part of their life that they won’t want to be with someone who doesn’t do it for them in the bedroom. In addition to this, they could believe that this will allow them to get to know them better.

Nothing to Lose

The alternative would be for them to wait a little while, only to find out that they are not sexually compatible. After having been with them for a while, it could be a lot harder for them to move on.

One would then have wasted a fair amount of time, time that they would have saved if they got down to business straight away. It would have also taken them a lot longer to find out about things that they might have found out about in a night.

The Only Option

Taking this into account, someone would be old fashioned or even a prude if they chose to behave differently. It would be in their best interest to ‘liberate’ themselves and to just go for it on the first date.

This might go against what they currently stand for, but they will soon realise that it is the right thing to do. When this happens, one will no longer be allowing an outdated inner model to run this area of their life.

Back To Reality

However, although this might seem like the best approach to take, it doesn’t mean that this is the case. One of the big problems with having sex more or less straight away is that it can cloud one’s judgment.

If human beings didn’t have an emotional self and only had a mental and the physical self, it wouldn’t matter. Their emotions wouldn’t be there to effect their judgment, allowing them to think clearly afterwards.

Numb

If someone can have sex straight away and not be affected by it, it could simply show that they are emotionally shut down. Having sex with someone straight away is not going to affect them, but as if they are out of touch with their emotions, it is unlikely that they would be able to have a real relationship anyway.

This could then explain why someone like this would put such a big emphasis on sex; the other part of their being, their heart, is not going to be open. A lot of their energy will be stuck in their genitals as it won’t be able to reach their chest area.

Many Elements

Sex is undoubtedly an important part of a relationship, yet there are a number of other things that are just as important. It will be vital for one to find out if they actually have anything in common with someone and to find out if their values match up.

As there are many parts to their own being, they will need to be with someone who has a being that matches up with these parts. This will be what allows the relationship to last once the early sparks have settled down.

The Easy Option

Getting naked and having sex with someone may seem like a great way get to know who they really are, but this may be a time when they are still hiding their true self. Ultimately, it is one thing for someone to reveal their body; it is another thing altogether for them to reveal who they actually are.

If one thinks that getting naked with someone means that they are getting intimate with them, this is not going to cross their mind. What will also make it harder for them to realise this is if they have come to equate sex with love.

Awareness

This is then not about whether or not having sex on a first date is ‘good’ or ‘bad’, it is about looking at the consequences of behaving in this way. Having sex on a first date could lead to a fulfilling relationship; then again, it could cause one to end up with someone who is not right for them.

Their emotions and hormones will be all over the place, making it just about impossible for them have a balanced outlook. Their thinking will be off and their view of the other person will also be off.

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Source by Oliver JR Cooper

Views: 0

July 27, 2022
Am I Ordained To Marry?

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One common question people ask us during counseling is whether they are ordained to marry or not. Few weeks ago, a sister walked up to me to ask if she was ordained to marry or not. I asked why she thought so. She said, her pastor taught them that it is written in Matthew 19:12 that some people were made to be eunuchs and therefore, not everyone is expected to marry. And now she was worried because of the series of disappointments she had experienced in her relationships. When I asked her whether they were equally taught how to differentiate between both groups she said that was why she came to ask me. I said she should have gone to her pastor to ask but she said she would not because they were more interested in how many souls they had won to Christ than their marital plans.

Her vehement refusal to go to her pastor for counsel was a clear indication that she had gone through some elements of frustration. I don’t know how many people are in the same situation today. All I know is that someone will be free from this bondage today.

Before I address the core issue, let me tell you that Christianity is a balanced relationship. The same God that says he that wins a soul is wise also says marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral, (Hebrew 13:4 NIV). The practice of holding back mature adults in church from marriage because you don’t want to lose them to other churches or distract them from actively engaging in church growth is unbalanced and unhealthy for the growth you desire. Marriage is an honor before God. It brings glory to God. Anyone that desires to marry should be encouraged before they begin to defy themselves right under your pulpit.

My counsel is that while encouraging them to continue winning souls they should also be counseled on the right way to find the right kind of spouse and the right way to marry. Teach them to let their marriage become a plus to the church instead of minus. If you alone could chase one thousand souls, let you and your spouse join in marriage to chase after ten thousand souls.

Matthew 19:12 says: ” For there are some eunuchs, who were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, who were made eunuchs of men; and there are eunuchs, who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it let him receive it.”

The above scripture clearly defines the three categories of eunuchs. Our point of emphasis here shall be on those born eunuchs from their mothers’ womb. The other two are those forced into it and those that became so by their choice.

When God created man in His image and likeness, He decreed that he should go into the world and multiply. That declaration is for you and me. The only approved way to achieve this multiplication is to marry legally and keep the matrimonial bed holy. You don’t need an angel to whisper into your ears that it is time to marry. The rules are there in the bible. That is not our focus for today anyway.

Take example from Abraham, the father of faith. He didn’t need any prophecy to discern whether his son Isaac, needed a wife or not. All he needed was simple wisdom drawn from the Word of God. God told him during his call that through him the earth shall be populated with His new generation of children. He settled it in his mind to get a wife for Isaac to make that calling and purpose come to fruition. At the appointed time, he sent his servant, Eleazar to go to his kindred to get a wife for Isaac. You know the rest of the story in Genesis chapter twenty-four.

God designed man with all the features required to perform all that He wants him to do on earth in the same way a manufacturer will not put his products in the market place without the inbuilt features to function. Signs of puberty, sexual emotions and strong attraction towards the opposite sex are some indicators that you are ordained to marry. When His due season is near, He begins to impress His desires in your spirit for onward transmission to these dormant sexual potentials in you and suddenly you will awaken to certain pressure in that direction. The bible says, ” it is God who works in us both to will and to do of his good pleasure”, Philippians 2:13. Marriage is one of the good things that bring pleasure to God. When you start feeling the urge or willingness to get married just know God has begun this good work in you. Anybody that has this urge or desire to marry is one of those God has ordained to marry. Period!

To become a eunuch or to marry is your choice. God has given you the free will to decide it. He will not choose or impose any one on you. Apostle Paul chose not to marry because he wanted to use his life to serve God and not because God said he should not. His case should not become a doctrine to dissuade people from fulfilling God’s purpose for their lives. He even admonished anyone that is unable to bear it to marry instead of burning in lust. If you choose to live a life of celibacy or choose to marry as you have desired, God is pleased with you. Do not allow previous disappointments dissuade you or make you start thinking that it might be that you are among the chosen eunuchs. You are ordained! If things are not working well, find out what you have not been doing right, keep correcting and working on yourself so God can connect you with the right kind of spouse.

However, it does not mean you should rush into anyone because God has willed it so for you. There is period to find the right kind of spouse and there is time for preparation. My stake here is to let you know that these signs put you in the category God has ordained to marry. You do belong to the group of those made eunuchs from their mother’s womb.

Parents should watch out for these signs in their children and wards. When these signs begin to show up, it is a signal to parents to start preparing their children or wards for the next phase of their lives. Unfortunately, many parents and guardians around these children do not always prepare them on time, and sometimes they misdirect them through wrong information. We owe the upcoming generation this responsibility as guardians. Those who fail at this level of parenting always regret it because late stitches steal real good time.

Those made eunuchs from their mother’s womb do not have and will never have the urge to get married because they do not have the features in them. I do not mean those incapacitated by sickness, diseases and infirmities like down syndromes, depression or paralysis. These are healthy and virile folks who are repugnant to the site of the opposite sex. They never have any amorous feelings towards the opposite sex even when they are both nude in a secret room.

Whether we choose to marry, remain single or born incapacitated, it does not make us sinners or better before God. He loves all of us equally, but it will please Him to see us fulfill His desires for us. I have cleared the obstacles before you. The onus is now on you to decide what you want. Apostle Paul chose not to marry because it was his choice. Apostle Peter did not divorce his wife because of God’s work, yet God accepted them all. Decide your case by yourself.

Remain Blessed!

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Source by Christopher UI Ogholoh

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July 25, 2022
Sex Tips: Temperature Play Methods

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Looking for sex tips to spice things up? There are many ways to do so, but one that many couples are unfamiliar with is incorporating hot and cold play in the bedroom. Altering the temperature can awaken the nerve endings and circulatory system in ways that deliver mind-blowing pleasure to both partners. The following examples, along with safety tips for maintaining vaginal and penis health, can help couples get their bearings in this exciting new world of sensation play.

Cup of Water

Keeping a cup of warm (not hot!) water near the bed can boost his oral sex enjoyment. A partner can take a sip, swallow, then take another sip and hold the warm water in his/her mouth, then take the man’s penis inside. Swashing the water around his penis for a few moments then swallowing it will give him a tantalizing experience.

Breath Play

Warm, moist breath is one of the body’s most pleasurable heat sources, and making use of this natural heat during foreplay and sex can bring both partners thrilling waves of enjoyment. Gently exhale on a lover’s sensitive spots, including the stomach, neck and ears. Gently breathing on the clitoris and testicles is also encouraged.

Candle Wax

Most people have heard of dripping hot candle wax on the skin as part of sex play, and many find this frightening. For good reason – most people don’t want to actually burn their skin. The trick to safely participating in wax play is to use candles made of soy, which don’t require as much heat to melt as those made of beeswax or regular wax, so they are less likely to deliver too much heat. Also, of course, if one has very sensitive skin concerning heat, this method should be avoided.

Chilled Spoon

Chill a metal spoon for a bit in a bowl of ice or cold water, then apply the back of the spoon to a lover’s neck, nipples, stomach, etc.

Plain Old Ice

An ice cube in the hand can go a long way. Trace a line extending from one side of a lover’s neck all the way down the side of the leg, them up the inside of the leg, down the inside of the other and back up the other side of his or her body. It’s best to avoid the penis and testicles.

Ice Dildo/Hot Towel

This is one of the more hardcore forms of temperature play, which should be pursued with caution. The idea is for the man to masturbate with a warm, wet towel around his member while a woman masturbates with a chilled dildo. Then, he enters her, and the sensation change for both is out of this world.

There are several options for a chilled dildo. Some glass and metal dildos are made to be chilled, but caution should be taken. Glass that gets very cold and then undergoes a sudden temperature change, such as inside the body, can break – yikes! And cold metal may stick to a lady’s warm, wet inside – also no good. Use proper precautions. Let the glass or metal warm just a little; use lube; use condoms; always, always follow packaging instructions.

Blindfold

Any of the above techniques can be combined with one another, and all of them may be more enjoyable with a blindfold in place. This will leave a lover anticipating, eager and unaware of what sensation is to come. Sight deprivation may be most exciting when lovers are combining a form of heat play like candle wax with a form of cold play, like ice cubes or a cold spoon.

Keeping it Safe

Always check in to be sure that the skin is not being burned or losing sensation due to excessive cold or heat. Don’t freeze or heat toys that were not designed to withstand such temperatures. Ease into temperature play to get to know what one’s skin can tolerate.

Maintaining skin health on the sexual organs can’t be overrated; one’s ability to sense pleasure depends on it. Men can take an extra step in the penis care department by using a quality penis health creme (health professionals recommend Man1 Man Oil) daily. Shea butter and vitamin E keep the skin moisturized, protecting it from the frictions of a vigorous sex life. Show one’s sex life some excitement with temperature play, and one’s manhood some love with a penis health crème.

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Source by John Dugan

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July 25, 2022
Pompeii by Marry Beard

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Marry Beard’s Pompeii succeeds in several quite different and sometimes surprising ways. This is a guidebook, a history, a survey of social relations, a description of culture and religion, a catalogue and analysis of art, and an archaeological record. It is also an excellent read, highly informative, enlighteningly descriptive and scrupulously accurate.

Pompeii is a complicated site. At first glance, it may appear to be very simple. One day in 79 AD a coastal town in modern-day Campania, near Naples, which was then at the heart of a Greco-Roman culture, was buried under volcanic ash that spread from the eruption of the nearby Mount Vesuvius. The town was completely destroyed, smothered under metres of ash. The disaster progressed quickly giving the town’s inhabitants little chance of escape, let alone a chance to gather their possessions. This naive description might thus suggest that all archaeologists need to do is uncover what the ash buried, and first century life in a Roman town will be revealed.

The reality, however, is somewhat different. The volcano did erupt and did bring about the end of Pompeii. But the town had previously in AD 62 suffered an earthquake, which had damaged many buildings, some of which was still not repaired in AD79. And Pompeii has been excavated many times. Some digs a couple of centuries ago extracted treasures for the titillation of monarchs, before volcanic ash, original construction materials and much of the historical and other material was randomly piled back to fill the holes. On the other hand, some areas have never been excavated and others still wait to be uncovered, but possibly not for the first time. Much work in previous centuries was undocumented, so who would know? Only the finds, and only some of those, were lodged in museums, and the provenance of many of those remains unclear.

Such a complicated history presents tremendous difficulties for modern archaeologists. There are many layers of possible interpretation, many potential complications. A great strength of Mary Beard’s book is that she always acknowledges these difficulties and, where simplistic, convenient or fashionable positions might create more attractive copy, consistently she is cautious with her assertions and considered in her conclusions. Refreshingly, where evidence is lacking, contradictory or merely open to interpretation, she usually leaves the matter open, thus allowing the reader to appreciate how hard it is to be definitive about the unknown.

Descriptions of everyday life in the first century AD are in many ways reassuringly familiar, with one significant exception. The modern reader may be rather shocked by how much daily life seems seemed to revolve around sex. But Mary beard does point out several times that this may be an overstatement. One is tempted to imagine how a modern town might be seen, if, once buried and uncovered, all that could be identified were advertising hoardings along a street where the only shop not to be obliterated sold sex toys. Our contemporary lack of knowledge about Pompeii’s inhabitants is illustrated by our inability to decide what might have been stored in the terracotta jars that were built into many of the town’s shop fronts. Mary Beard points out that theories they might have contained wine or oil are undermined by the simple fact that terracotta is porous, so it is more likely they contained dry goods. In one shop, a jar may have been a till, because it was found to contain a stash of small coins. But who knows whether the shop’s owner, frightened by a sudden eruption, merely tipped a box of small coins into the jar in a vain attempt to fill the box with more valuable possessions that might be carried?

The area of life that was clearly different in first century AD was that of religion and beliefs. There seemed to be a market in gods, as well as one in goods, and most buildings seem to have paintings or altars dedicated to a panoply of deities, drawn from several different traditions. Whether people did pick and choose, or whether people’s origins or ethnicity dictated allegiance, we simply do not know.

Pompeii clearly did have its own version of mass entertainment, both in theatre and amphitheatre. There was even a famous riot after a disputed contest, where supporters from a nearby town fought with locals. It made regional news. There was also a local language that was not Latin, but we have precious little of its literature.

A concept such a slavery, which in the modern mind is inextricably linked with the trade of recent colonial powers, is yet another aspect of ancient Roman life that is more complicated than contemporary assumptions allow. Mary Beard regularly refers to the complexity of these relationships throughout the text and long before then end we feel we really have learned something about a culture that quite suddenly feels much more distant than a mere couple of millennia.

Mary Beard’s Pompeii is a brilliant book that is worth reading in itself. But anyone who has visited or plans to visit the site will find it brings the experience or memory completely to life. It is a comprehensive description of the site and its culture, but makes clear that there are still stones to be turned. Unusually, however, readers who previously might have thought they were well-informed on the history, culture and archaeology of Pompei might just find, after reading this book, that they knew rather less than they thought.

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Source by Philip Spires

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July 23, 2022