Tag: Save

  • Why You Need to Express Emotion

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    When I was young I was taught that crying was not good. After all, the message was that if you cry too much, “you’re going to get sick.” Crying, especially in public, definitely was bad news. In short, crying, even when grieving, was considered to be a sign of weakness. If you were going to cry, then do so in private.

    Through the years this and many other natural ways of showing emotion have been stifled by many of the celebrities who always assume a stoic pose when appearing on camera. (I always remember the death of President Kennedy and the way Jackie showed little emotion during the funeral and on TV.)

    Many additional beliefs about expressing emotion were looked down upon for years as western culture had adopted the “rugged individualism” view of dealing with life in all its manifestations. Expressing emotion was out and being strong was definitely in. Keeping emotion within is presently the cultural norm.

    However, psychology and the social sciences have shown time and time again the importance of expressing, in some form, what is happening inside; it can actually save your life. If you have been trained by the authority figures in your life to suppress your feelings or if you are unable to cry (much to do with unconscious beliefs instilled early in life) when one might be expected to do so, consider the following.

    1. We are built to vocalize feelings and tell our stories. This is an inherent and normal human response. Its purpose is to relieve the stress of trauma and massive change that occur in every life. There is a basic human need to externalize the pressure and pain that develops within.

    2. What is the alternative when we bottle the anxiety, anger, fear, guilt or pain that is generated by a major loss? The physical self pays a huge price to perform this task. Stress hormones go into overdrive and every cell in the body is affected. I repeat, every cell in the body is heavily stressed. Energy stores are depleted.

    3. A more vicious result of stuffing feelings is that our unconscious and our memory banks keep them forever alive in full force. Consequently, we are easily thrown into deep pain throughout life when something we see in a movie or on a TV show or read in the paper, cues up the terrible feelings and memories we never dealt with.

    So what can you do? The obvious answer is to find a way to tell your story of pain and disappointment. If you don’t have a best friend who is a good long-term listener, (a resource we all need to develop), then seek out a counselor, clergy person, or support group. You also can express feelings through writing, drawing, painting or sculpting. Reach out to God to unload your burden. You may need several avenues of release.

    Give in to the natural inclination to share the pain of loss. There is nothing weak about doing so. It is not merely highly therapeutic, it will lead to insights into your loss and how to cope with it (verbalizing our feelings often leads to new interpretations and thoughts). When appropriate, request your good listener to give you valuable feedback.

    Make every effort to change the pattern of the way you deal with loss and change and encourage your children to be open with you about their feelings. See the process as wisdom seeking and in making wise choices. Let periodic expression, where you plumb the deepest depths of your feelings, become part of your long-term healing process. We all need the nurturance and feeling of community that sharing feelings naturally brings forth.

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    Source by Lou LaGrand

    Views: 0

  • Re-Vamping Your Living Room

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    Redesigning your living room can make your home feel brand new, being the first thing you see when you walk through the door. Your updated space can start conversation with guests and bring a new sense of energy and pride.

    Making wood the key feature of your room does not have to create a rustic vibe depending on the type of wood used. Going outside of the box entails the search of vintage furniture, where every piece has its own story and face, moreover the detail found in antiques can't be found in newer models. So what do you do when picking out vintage pieces? Go to a store where you feel the authenticity as soon as you walk through the door. When shopping around don't get too caught up in finding the same shade of wood because I'll tell you now, it's difficult and the piece probably won't have the same vibe. Therefore, avoid the matchy-matchy and collect various shades and when you place it in your room it will flow effortlessly together.

    There's nothing like that smell of real wood. Finding furniture made out of 100% wood can be difficult and expensive but by shopping vintage you will save a few bucks while still having you stand out in the crowd. By adding a vintage table or a bookcase, the space is colored to your liking even if you stick with your old sofa and chairs. Hand-painted accents on a bookcase can help you bring in the color you want into your space that can flow with other accents. You can also change your space while still keeping the colors neutral with the style. With antiques you can find a variety of styles that speaks to you. Going for the lightness of the Indian boho vibe? Place a carved elephant at the center of your coffee table providing luck while reflecting a smile onto your face. So you found your perfect piece … or two (you can't help it because vintage shopping will pull you in), now how do you style it? A coffee table with a washed blue coloring and carved legs speaks for itself and place it where you need it. Remember, you know what works best in your living space! Empty wall? Hang up a hand-carved panel, colored or simple wood, that will make people look twice. By adding pieces that have design or texture, you won't have to complicate yourself with adding a ton of details in order to make the room feel whole.

    Next thing you know, your living room looks eclectic with a new vibrancy that will reflect onto you. Take the chance and walk into an antique furniture shop and maybe you'll be inspired to make a fresh start.

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    Source by Era Chandok

    Views: 0

  • How To Rescue Love And Heal A Relationship Or Fix A Broken Marriage

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    Many couples experience rainy weather in their relationship at one point or another in their lives.

    This is very natural since there are a lot of aspects that can develop common relationship problems and disputes in between couples and sometimes, nobody wants to pave the way.

    This is where most of the relationship issues begin, when both partners do not recognize their faults and imperfections, and both are attempting to point out that they are best and it is always the other who is incorrect.

    Disputes should never be reason enough to end a relationship. There are still easy ways to heal a relationship and effective rekindling the old love.

    Interact with your Partner

    Interaction is among the most effective keys to complete a relationship rescue strategy.

    Because increasingly more couples these days breakup without even acknowledging the real reason things go wrong, this must considered on the to-do list of how to fix the broken marriage.

    That’s why family counseling can open newer doors for seeing the light in repairing the relationship issues.

    The Course in Miracles asks us to contemplate, “How much do you want salvation.”

    Partners need to talk things over and voice out their sides and open up their grudges prior to being far too late when things are getting rather out of hand.

    Through interaction, both will have a clear image of exactly what is going on, why the conflict is happening, and exactly what relationship rescue approaches can be done to exceed this duration.

    When to Keep Quiet

    Silence could not be the best solution for a reliable relationship rescue, but it does contribute a lot so a relationship struggle doesn’t worsen.

    Frequently, when couples are having conflicts, they have the tendency to talk excessively and say things that can be hurtful, thus they disregard one of the most important parts of a relationship which is listening.

    When to keep quiet and peaceful throughout a heated argument is something couples need to learn, because it’s always best not to raise voices, yell at each other, and worse, resort to physical violence to silence the other.

    When both are angry, they must let their heavy emotions subside first before speaking because typically, a mad person speaks even without sense and never takes any reason.

    Spend some Time Alone at Times

    Previously I discussed and reviewed the many tidbits and free advice available online for saving the marriage or a love relationship when both parties are willing and ready to heal.

    If communication and keeping silence did not work as part of the relationship rescue plan, having time to be alone could be a good thing to do for the meantime.

    Conflicts have two impacts: one is to reinforce the relationship and two is to break the relationship.

    If these disputes repeat in circles every day, the tendency is that both partners will be fed up, and thus the very first thing that concerns their mind as a solution is to end the relationship.

    If both have some space for a while and try to reassess their sensations and recognize where their errors are, this can be avoided.

    Give some Space

    When he or she is not around, this can be a reliable common relationship problems solution due to the fact that in some cases individuals realize the importance of their partner.

    These are some of the effective ways that couples can do in order to achieve an effective relationship rescue and rekindling the old love.

    Both partners need to recognize that ending the relationship is not always a good path to take just to end a dispute, however rather follow these relationship rescue techniques to resolve them.

    With all these things in mind, no matter what common relationship problems can be found in the relationship, both partners can get through these and make their relationship even stronger.

    Finding Strength

    Try to remember that unsettled arguments and disputes have a few effects, and one is to strengthen the relationship and open each other’s eyes, and another is to end the relationship.

    These are some of the efficient lessons that can be learned in family counseling, and what to address so that you may save your relationship.

    Both partners need to realize that leaving the relationship is many times not the best solution to end a conflict, however instead follow these marriage tips to solve them.

    With all these things in mind, no matter what common relationship problems creep in, both partners can get through these and make rekindling the old love even more powerful.

    Try to look at the strong components for healing a love problem so that a wonderful relationship is lived.

    (I suggest searching the net for further helpful and healing material on trying to save your relationship and addressing the issues that could potentially reach the end of the line and become too hard and disastrous to handle.)

    To saving your relationship!

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    Source by James Nussbaumer

    Views: 0

  • Top 5 Frugal Living Ideas to Save Money for Emergencies

    Top 5 Frugal Living Ideas to Save Money for Emergencies

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    Are you looking for ways to live frugally and save money? Frugal living means being resourceful and not spending more than required. In short, it implies that you are a careful spender and stay content living with less to save money for emergencies!

    Benefits of Frugal Living

    Practicing frugal living cannot only save you a lot of money but also help you in many other things, including:

    • Fast debt repayment
    • No paycheck to paycheck living
    • Safe early retirement
    • Fulfillment of dream vacation goals

    Tips for Frugal Living

    Here is a list of frugal living tips that will help you do away with some of the less significant things in life to save money for emergencies:

    1. Budget Your Finances: Having an effective budget is crucial if you want to achieve financial freedom. Know where your money is going and restrict where you are spending unnecessarily. Moreover, you cannot decrease your spending if you are clueless about your income and expenses! Therefore, creating a budget will reveal everything you need to know to cut back from your costs significantly!
    2. Learn to Appreciate Frugal Living: Being frugal helps you to take a look at your spending habits and reevaluate them. Previously you might have bought something that you thought you needed, but in reality, it’s not of any benefit and value at all to you. When you start to get rid of these unnecessary and expensive spending, you can learn to appreciate a more modest way of living.
    3. Quit Expensive and Unhealthy Habits: You should consider quitting expensive and unhealthy habits such as consumption of fast food, drinking excessive alcohol, smoking cigarettes, and more. These habits can be okay when done in moderation, but indulging too much in these unhealthy activities can be harmful.
    4. Save Money for Emergencies: According to a Bankrate report, 26% of Americans have no emergency fund at all. Everyone should have an emergency fund because it’s one of the best ways to prepare for any future financial crisis. Having an emergency fund can help you manage tough situations like loss of a job or an unexpected expense.
    5. Avoid Debt Wherever Possible: One of the great tips for frugal living is to avert any debt, which can be accomplished by purposely maintaining an emergency fund. Another tip is to utilize materials without owning them, like borrowing them from friends or using trading services. Make sure to think through your options to avoid piling up credit card debt for unnecessary purchases.

    Conclusion

    The above tips can help you begin your own frugal living journey. However, the first step towards your frugal living journey is to become debt-free. Also, securing a cash cushion accessible during emergencies will help get you to financial freedom.

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    Source by R. Williams

    Views: 0

  • My Husband Keeps Saying That He’s Going to Leave Me – Tips and Advice That May Help

    My Husband Keeps Saying That He’s Going to Leave Me – Tips and Advice That May Help

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    I recently heard from a wife who confided that every time that she and her husband disagreed or hit a rough patch in their marriage, the husband pulled out what the wife called the “leave card.” She told me: “every time things get rough, my husband says he’s going to leave. He’s packed his bags before, but he’s never actually left. Still, this hurts me and I’m getting tired of it. How can I make him see how old these threats are getting? At the same time, I’m afraid that someday soon, he’s actually going to follow through and walk out the door. I’m not sure what to do or how to handle this.”

    This type of correspondence is not all that uncommon. I hear many comments like this. And I can absolutely identify with these wives. This is a very difficult position to be in. It’s hard to move forward and to improve matters with the constant threat of him leaving hanging over your head. You can start to feel like you’re walking on eggshells or have to edit yourself or hold back in some way. So it’s very advisable to consider being proactive and addressing this before things deteriorate any more. I will discuss this more in the following article.

    Asking Him To Stop Constantly Making The Threats To Leave You And The Marriage: Admittedly, I don’t personally know this couple. But, from the little bit that the wife told me, two immediate facts jumped out and seemed most important. First, despite the husband’s repeated threats, he had not left. He was still there, repeating the same old things. This tells us that he’s either not 100% committed to leaving or he’s not yet reached the breaking point or place where it’s feasible or comfortable to move on.

    The second thing that was important was that the husband kept repeating the threats. Now, the wife was very frustrated with this, but one possibility was that the husband was repeating or accelerating his words because nothing was changing or improving and this was the only way that he knew to attempt to get the response that he wanted. Sometimes, people keep repeating the same patterns out of frustration. And, sometimes, they do this because they know no other way.

    But whatever the reason for this negative cycle, I felt that the wife might gain some ground if she approached this subject with both directness and empathy. It was going to be very hard for the two of them to get on the same page when he kept on retreating. So, the next time that he started with the “I’m just going to leave you,” talk, I felt that the wife should have asked him to sit down and talk about this for a minute.

    With a break in the action, the wife might consider telling the husband that they both knew that this was a path that they had been down many times before. And yet, nothing was really changing except that they were both getting frustrated with the same old course of events that never yielded the outcome that either of them really wanted. I suggested that the wife offer to make the husband a deal. She would genuinely listen to why he felt the way that he did and make a very honest effort to address and improve things if he would stop with threats to leave her every time things got tough.

    Understanding The Opportunity That Has Presented Itself And Taking Positive Action To Stop This Cycle: I understood why the wife doubted that she was in so great of a position, but I had to admit to her that there were some advantages that she did have. On an almost daily basis, I hear from wives who were either served divorce papers or who came home to an empty house missing a husband (because he left) with seemingly no warning whatsoever. These women would’ve loved to have had a warning period and a chance to fix things before this action was taken.

    So, while the wife was tired of all this, she had to admit that she still had a chance to make things better and to save the marriage. This was an advantage as was the fact that, despite all of his empty words and posturing, the husband was still there. Clearly, he wasn’t sure that he really wanted to leave, but he was sure that he wanted change that he wasn’t getting, which is why this cycle kept repeating itself.

    Once the wife was able to see this, she was willing to approach things differently. But, before she charged forward wanting to make drastic changes, I told her that it might be a good idea to focus on reconnecting. There was a lot of underlying resentment and anger and I felt that the changes and efforts might not last if they attempted to work things out while both people were still a little lukewarm to one another.

    Do you remember when you were first together and your issues were always little spats that passed over quickly? This is because you were deeply connected and didn’t want to allow for anything to derail that process. Sure, things change and people mature. But often, you’ll find that if you can get to a place where you feel genuine affection and empathy for your spouse, working out the remaining issues becomes so much easier and you’re much less likely to continue to hear the threats that neither one of you are listening to anymore anyway.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

    Views: 0

  • Should Marriage Coaching Or Family Therapy Be An Option For Your Marital Problems?

    Should Marriage Coaching Or Family Therapy Be An Option For Your Marital Problems?

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    In an article released by the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, customers of marriage and family counselors from over a dozen states reported on their experience with family therapy.

    The findings suggested that marriage and relationship counselors treated a large range of concerns in relatively short-term fashion. It said that couples therapy and marriage coaching are briefer than specific treatment, which customer satisfaction and practical improvement are rather high.

    Particularly, of customers from over 500 marriage and relationship counselors in over a dozen states:

    – Over 95% rated services outstanding or great

    – Over 90% would recommend their therapist to a buddy

    – Over 90% would go back to the very same therapist in the future

    – Over 90% stated they were assisted in dealing more effectively with problems

    – Over 90% were generally pleased with the service they got

    – Over 95% got the kind of assistance they wanted

    – Almost 75% indicated enhancement in children's behavior

    – Just under 65% reported enhanced physical health

    – Over 95% were pleased with the amount of assistance they got

    – Just under 55% reported improvement in operating at work

    – Almost 60% revealed enhancement in kid's school efficiency

    [NOTE] Excerpted from "Clinical Practice Patterns of Marriage and Family Therapists: A National Survey of Therapists and Their Clients", Journal of Marital and Family Therapy.

    While the above research study supplies raw information that supports the efficiency of marital relationship and household counseling, a very interesting conversation on the question, "Does Marriage Counseling Work" from a public forum devoted to this subject offers a less medical, but still positive view .

    I found that what seems to be an extremely sincere and frank conversation among couples, "who've been there," the response to the question of whether marriage counseling works is a favorable one.

    Will Marital Therapy Work for You?

    Regardless of the studies and viewpoints which seem to support the question of, 'Does couples therapy work,' there are those who question its effectiveness.

    Previously I had a discussion on 'what's going on today with males and how the men actually feel about close relationships and what turns the men on about women.'

    This got the subject going on the science of marital therapy is being studied in excellent detail these days. Research is showing that it is not as reliable as individuals believe that ladies seem to get more from it than men.

    Surely there are times when it may not have a long-lasting result on the couple's marital relationship.

    What type of couple gets the most from couples therapy? The response is young, non-sexist, still in love, open couples.

    Which couples get the least after finding what seems to the best marriage advice?

    Some factors that can make couples therapy not successful consist of couples who wait too long before seeking assistance. I mean that typically one or the other is set on getting a divorce and is closed to any suggestions that may save the marriage.

    It appears that couples who seek relationship healing or marriage coaching due to the fact that they want their relationship to work are more likely to prosper with marriage therapy.

    Many Do Benefit

    Yes, they will benefit more than those who enter into couples counseling with the (maybe hidden) reality that they really more deeply want out of the relationship.

    Again as the Course in Miracles further states, "It is still up to you to choose with truth or with illusion. Remember that to choose one is to let the other go."

    When thinking about best marriage advice, it's hard not to wonder whether seeing a marital relationship counselor will actually work.

    An honest marriage psychologist would agree that the inspiration of a couple might be the single most crucial aspect in identifying the success of marital therapy.

    It's not likely that even a fantastic counselor would be able to conserve a marital relationship where one spouse really doesn't want to put in the effort for relationship healing.

    The best marriage advice you find from a marriage therapist can most likely help a couple who are utterly devoted to making their marital relationship work.

    (I like to often suggest seeking out the web for more helpful material on things like should you separate or divorce now instead of trying to fix a broken a marriage or love relationship?)

    To success in healing and finding happiness!

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    Source by James Nussbaumer

    Views: 0

  • 5 Rules for Entrepreneurship

    5 Rules for Entrepreneurship

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    1 – Find a need and fill it. It seems obvious, but so many companies and individual entrepreneurs just to not follow this most obvious rule. Sometimes, however, they do manage to create a need or desire with the product itself. But most often, the customer has a need and requires your product or service to fulfill that need. There are always needs that have to be filled, and, if your company can supply that needed service or product, it will do even better!

    2 – Find a problem and solve it. Like your customer’s needs and wants, they also have problems. If your company can solve that problem, they you will probably succeed. It’s linked very closely to their needs. For example, a customer needs more money. The problem is a lack of money. Your financial education system will fill that need and solve that problem! If a customer needs more time, the problem is a lack of time. Your time management system will fill that need.

    3 – Focus on the customer. How many companies have fallen away from this one? And how many are starting to fall away? Very recent surveys have shown that customer service is the most important part of a business. Without a customer-focused program, the company will likely get a bad image, and lose customers, and it will likely have some financial setbacks… You get the idea. Without customers, the company can not even stay open, let alone do anything.

    4 – Put your time, talent, energy, and your whole heart into producing a product or service they will buy. If you do not already have an established company, of even if you do, you must always remember to invest into the business. Not always financially either. Invest your time and energy into making what the people want, need, and will use to solve their problems. Put your heart into the company, and the company will put the dollars into your pocket. You would be surprised at how many business people just do not put enough time into their companies.

    5 – Start small. It’s great to keep your dreams big, and your successes bigger, but you just can’t start your company or a new product with a large output. Start off small. Small test runs. Small production amount. Small output of money. You will save a great deal of time, energy, and money than had you started out big and failed dramatically.

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    Source by Arthur Langton

    Views: 0

  • Questions Are the Key to Success in Business and Life

    Questions Are the Key to Success in Business and Life

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    It was Kipling who gave us what was perhaps the greatest advice for business success and, in fact, success in life that has ever been given. He told us the key to success in all areas when he said “I had six honest serving men. They taught me all I knew. Their names were: where and what and when and why and how and who.”

    The late great Earl Nightingale suggested we add two more friends to this group. They are, which and if.

    Whether you are seeking to find ways to increase sales or control and reduce costs, questions are the key. Whether you are striving to improve your customer service or the quality of your product, or your life, questions are the key.

    Asking the questions and developing the answers are the keys to any and all success you will have in business and in fact life.

    Questions like:

    If we do this, what happens?

    Why do we do it this way?

    Why don’t we do it this way?

    Who else can we sell to?

    Where else can we get this?

    What can we do to reduce costs?

    What can we do to improve productivity?

    What can we do to improve quality?

    What can we do to improve our service?

    How else can that be done?

    How can we do it better, faster, cheaper?

    How can we improve quality, service, and profits?

    How can we cut costs?

    If we do this, will we improve quality?

    If we do this, will it improve service?

    If we do this, will it increase profits?

    Which provides us with better quality?

    Which is best for our customer?

    What do we get in return for this cost?

    Who else can provide what we need?

    Why are we paying that much?

    Why do we not deal with another company?

    Why are we dealing with them?

    How many other bids have we gotten?

    What if?

    How can we replace that with equal or better quality for less?

    What are other companies charging for that product or service?

    What are other companies paying for that product or service?

    Will this process or step add value to our product or service or does it produce added profit?

    When would this investment pay off?

    You see my point I am sure. You must ask questions and seek out the answers. You must also justify the answers.

    You must never stop asking. If you are not continuously asking the questions and reacting to the answers, you are either assuming or stagnating. Either one can be deadly to your business.

    You must review every phase of your business. You may be very surprised when you see how little effort it will take to find huge savings and to make major improvements in how you conduct business.

    You can always improve how you do things. You must find ways to conduct business more efficiently, eliminate needless steps, improve quality, increase productivity, reduce errors, increase sales, ways to increase profit in a business, reduce expenses, and control costs.

    Let me give you one small example of how an assumption proved to be very costly at one company. One of the many products this company offered was a holiday label strip. This was simply a strip of peel off labels to affix to holiday presents showing “to” and “from”. Banks around the country would buy them and give them out one strip at a time to their customers around the holidays.

    For years this company shrink wrapped these in packages of 250 and sold them in a minimum quantity of 1,000. The shrink wrapping was time consuming and costly. I asked them why. Why did they need to be shrink wrapped? How did they know if this was important to the customer? What, if any, difference did packaging make to their customers?

    They asked the questions and found the answers. The answer in this case was that the customer either couldn’t have cared less about the packaging or did not like the shrink wrap as it simply meant more work for them to unwrap. After years of doing it the way they always did and assuming that was what the end user wanted, they found out differently. They now bulk package. They save between $20,000 and $30,000 per year and their customers are either happier or neutral about this change.

    Did this company sacrifice quality in any way to save money? No, they improved productivity, improved customer satisfaction, and, by doing so, improved profitability.

    Ask the questions. They are the key to the door of improvement.

    You should constantly be reviewing every area of your operation to seek ways in which you can improve. Use common sense. From office expenses to customer service, from distribution and production to quality control and shipping, you will be shocked at how little effort it will take to improve your operations, reduce waste and redundancy, and realize huge savings.

    From the way you sell things to the way you buy things, it is up to you to improve things. Improvement is always possible in everything we do.

    You possess the greatest power ever created and it sits right between your two ears. You own it, free and clear. All you need to do is put it to work.

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    Source by Derrick Welch

    Views: 0