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Created To Bond – Changes That Heal Part II
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Failure To Develop Relationships

Emotional ties have a dramatic effect on our well-being. When one fails to develop relationships or bond with others, it can and often does affect their ability to stave off or recover from a variety of not only physical but also emotional ills. When they learn to attach to and trust others, they begin to develop not only emotionally, but also psychologically. Thus, their ability to bond with others… to become closely knit, often carryover into their home life.

When a child is distressed, he/she may show unusual signs such as increased pulse, increased or labored respiration, helplessness, and hopelessness and may easily become enraged. These signs are often seen when the biological parent remarries and the child tends to believe that he/she must compete with the step-parent for the biological parent’s attention.

When the adoptive or step-parent enters the situation with food, physical contact, compassion and other help, the child learns her parents can meet her needs. The child is then more active and able to respond to stimulation such as playing. When the child is content, she is able to sleep and feel comfortable in her surroundings.

According to Deborah Gray, author of Attaching in Adoption, “attachment is a relationship formed primarily with members of the family and requires more time and interaction to be created. Attachment is what most adoptive parents are referring to when they talk about bonding with their child. Adopted children of all ages may have an attachment to their birth family, even if the relationship was neglectful or abusive. Many adoption experts agree that if a child can form an attachment to birth and foster parents, she will have the skills to attach to her adoptive family as well.”

Signs of Secure Attachment

The parental attachment process can often take weeks or years to fully develop, and in some cases there maybe pervasive attachment disorders for which professional therapy will be required. A strong indicator of whether attachment is taking place is the comfort with which the adoptive or step-parent is able to recognize the child’s needs. It is important to remember that the repetition of parents meeting a child’s needs is the foundation of forming a secure attachment with children of all ages, not just infants.

The attachment bond shapes an infant’s brain

The attachment bond is the term for our first interactive love relationship-the one we had with our primary caregivers, that is, our mothers. The mother-child attachment bond is instrumental in shaping infants brains. This important attachment profoundly influences our self-esteem, our expectations of others, and our ability to attract and maintain successful relationships. So, the success, or failure, of our first love-the attachment bond-has a life-long effect.

Our secure attachment bond shapes our abilities to:
- feel safe
- develop meaningful connections with others
- explore our world
- deal with stress
- balance emotions
- experience comfort and security
- make sense of our lives
- create positive memories and expectations of relationships
Attachment bonds are as unique as we are. Primary caretakers do not have to be perfect. They do not have to always be in agreement with their infants’ emotions, but it helps if they are emotionally available a majority of the time.

We were born with an innate or preprogrammed need to bond with one very significant person-our primary caregiver, usually our mother. Like all infants, you were a small bundle of disjointed emotions-intensely experiencing fear, anger, sadness, and joy, often at the same time. The natural emotional attachment that grew between you and your caregiver was the first interactive relationship of your life, and it depended upon nonverbal communication. Therefore, the bonding you experienced in this relationship determined how you would relate to other people throughout your life. This bonding relationship established the foundation for all verbal and nonverbal communication in your future relationships.

For better or worse, the attachment bond profoundly influences the infant brain. It is a baby’s first love relationship. When the primary caretaker can manage personal stress, calm the infant, communicate through emotion, share joy, and forgive easily, the young child’s nervous system becomes “securely attached.” The strong foundation of a secure attachment bond enables the child to be self-confident, trusting, hopeful, and comfortable in the face of conflict. As an adult, he or she will be flexible, creative, hopeful, and optimistic.

People who fail to establish this type of bonding relationship often experience confusing, frightening, or broken emotional communications during their infancy and often grow into adults who have difficulty understanding their own emotions and the feelings of others. This hampers their ability to establish, build and/or maintain attachments leading to successful relationships.

What is Attachment?

Attachment is the relationship between infants and their primary caregivers-is responsible for:
- shaping the success or failure of future intimate relationships
- the ability to maintain a normal emotional balance
- the ability to enjoy being ourselves and to find satisfaction in being with others
- the ability to successfully rebound from various disappointments, discouragement, and misfortune
Many scientific studies of the brain-and the primary role attachment plays in shaping it-has given us a new basis for understanding why vast numbers of people have great difficulty communicating with the most important individuals in their work and love lives. Once, we could only use guesswork to try and determine why important relationships never evolved, or developed chronic problems, or fell apart. Now, thanks to new insights into brain development, we can understand what it takes to help build and nurture productive and meaningful relationships at home and at work.

What is the attachment bond?

The mother-child bond is the primary force in infant development, according to the attachment bond theory pioneered by English psychiatrist John Bowlby and American psychologist Mary Ainsworth. The theory has gained strength through worldwide scientific studies and the use of brain imaging technology.

The attachment bond theory states that the relationship between infants and primary caretakers is responsible for:
- shaping all of our future relationships
- strengthening or damaging our abilities to focus, be conscious of our feelings, and calm ourselves
- the ability to bounce back from misfortune
Scientific research reveals the infant/adult interactions that result in a successful, secure attachment, where both people are aware of the other’s feelings and emotions is the necessary precursor for successful relationships. These studies also reveal troubled, or insecure attachment, in which the communication of feelings fails thus resulting in an inability to form the bind needed to establish a solid relationship. Researchers found that in order to have successful adult relationships there must exist in us and we must depend on the ability to:
- manage stress
- stay “tuned in” with emotions
- use communicative body language
- be playful in a mutually engaging manner
- be readily forgiving, relinquishing grudges
The same research also found that when an insecure attachment exists some type of abuse may have caused it, but it is just as likely to be caused by isolation or loneliness. These recent discoveries offer a new glimpse into successful love relationships. Taking these observations into account often provides the keys to identifying and repairing a love relationship that is strained or falling apart.

Insecure attachment affects adult relationships

Insecurity can be a significant problem in all of our lives, and it usually takes root when an infant’s attachment bond fails to provide the child with sufficient structure, recognition, understanding, safety, and mutual accord. These insecurities may lead us to:
- Tune out and turn off-Most often, if our parent is unavailable and self-absorbed, we may-as children-get lost in our own inner world, we become introverted, avoiding any close, emotional connections. This often causes us as adults to become physically and emotionally distant in relationships.
- Remain insecure-If we have parents who are inconsistent or intrusive, it’s more than likely that we will become unrealistically anxious and fearful, never knowing what to expect. Then as adults, we may become willingly available one moment and totally rejecting the next.
- Become disorganized, aggressive and angry-When our early needs for emotional closeness and comfort is neglected, or when a parent’s erratic behavior is a source of disorienting terror, emotional problems are sure to follow. As we grow into adults, we may lack the ability to love easily and may unknowingly be insensitive to the needs of our partner.
- Develop slowly-Problems often occur when we fail to develop as rapidly as we should, both emotionally and intellectually. Such developmental delays often manifest themselves in the form of deficits and often result in subsequent physical and mental health problems, and generally lead to social and learning disabilities.
Lessons Learned From Our Attachment Bond

There are many powerful, life-altering lessons we learn from our attachment bond-our first love relationship continues to teach us as adults. The gut-level knowledge we gained from this bond then guides us in improving our adult relationships and making them secure.

Lesson No. 1-All adult relationships depend on nonverbal forms of communication for their success. These nonverbal communication skills are learned in infancy. Newborn infants cannot talk, reason or plan; yet they are equipped to make sure their needs are met. Infants don’t know what they need, they feel what they need, and communicate accordingly. When an infant communicates with a caretaker who understands and meets their physical and emotional needs an attachment takes place and the strength of that attachment influences other relationships later in life.

Lesson No. 2-Relationships in which the parties are tuned in to each other’s emotions are called attuned relationships, and attuned relationships teach us that:
- nonverbal cues deeply impact our love relationships
- as we play it helps us smooth over the turbulent times we endure in love relationships
- inevitable conflicts can build trusting relationships if we approach them without fear or a need to punish or retaliate
When we can recognize knee-jerk memories, perceive expectations, inappropriate attitudes, unfounded assumptions and improper behaviors as problems resulting from insecure attachment bonds, we can squelch their influence and their effect on our adult relationships. That recognition allows us to readily reconstruct the healthy nonverbal communication skills that ultimately produce an attuned attachment and successful relationship.

Becoming an Adult and Relationship Orientation

As we grow into adulthood, for the most part we bring with us the ideas and communication lessons we have learned from the time of our infancy. Whether these are good or bad depends on our ability to not only view life from our perspective but also have the ability and the willingness to see things from the other person’s point of view as well. When we are able to do that, then we are in a more astute position to deal with situations and circumstances that are adverse to us.

As we move through the adolescent stage of life we find ourselves at odds not only with others but also with ourselves. We want to be an adult with all of its rights and privileges sooner that we can become one, yet at the same time we want to abdicate the responsibility that goes with that station in life. It is a time of being able to make your own decisions and taking authority over your own life, but you are not there yet. You must learn to maintain control of your impulsiveness and your inhibitions. You must be able to objectionably reevaluate your beliefs, see your parents and authority figures realistically, recognize and pursue your God-given talents and goals, and be willing to take ultimate responsibility for yourself. Finally you must be able to accept and appreciate people who are different.

This ability helps us to be able to accept the good and the bad because we are able to address situations in a mature manner. When we are able to do this, we place ourselves into a position of strength, resulting in a proper evaluation of ourselves. Thus we are able to overcome some of the most persistent problems we face daily because now we are not only able to see things in black and white but also in the various shades of gray. As such, we are able to make allowances for our and other peoples mistakes.

We at that point come to realize that everything in life doesn’t have to go our way in order for us to be happy. We gain a new perspective on ourselves, others and God as a result of our changed thinking. We are then able to deal with each other with mercy, in grace, with the understanding that we too make mistakes. When we move into the realm of tolerance and forgiveness, we are able to love others without them having to be perfect.

Yet, in order to accomplish the task and responsibility of growing up we must also be willing to take responsibility and be accountable for those things of which we have been put in charge. Those things include our attitude, tongue, and actions. As we continue to grow in stature and wisdom the maturity level of our life should also increase proportionately.

Differences Between Men And Women

From my experience in dealing with women, (my mother, aunts, seven sisters and many friends and associates) I find that the majority of women are generally oriented towards their existing friendship networks whereas men were more interested in meeting new people and finding people who had similar interests — in other words, men would rather enjoy the adventure of reaching out to new people rather than cementing their existing relationships.

These results contribute to the growing research on social capital, networking and highlight the importance of examining specific interactive applications. The importance of distinguishing between strong and weak ties plays a major role in establishing new relationships. Also, it is necessary to consider the importance of taking into account gender differences in social interaction patterns. Whereas, women increase their bonding social capital as a result of using these sites but men do not. Women, on the other hand, show a decrease in bonding social capital with those whom they meet outside of their normal sphere of influence.

The fear of incorporating emotional intimacy into these association/relationships is mainly due to a fear of rejection and engulfment – a fear of losing the other and/or losing yourself. To overcome this obstacle you must be able to establish an inner bond with yourself. Inner Bonding is a transformational process for healing the fear of intimacy related ideas that have been carried from past experiences.

The mental visualization of these experiences often cause us to digress into a self-contained state of emotional security that hinders our ability to openly tolerate the inconsistencies we see in others. As a result, we ourselves are moved to a protective state and therefore unable to deal with the negative feelings that we will invariably experience. This barrier can block us from resolving issues that in reality are non-issues.

The Immaturity In Adolescence

Struggles with adolescent identity and depression usually set in when an adolescent experiences a loss. The most important loss in their lives is the changing relationship between the adolescent and their parents. Adolescents may also experience strife in their relationships with friends. This may be due to the activities their friends take part in, such as smoking, which causes adolescents to feel as though participating in such activities themselves is likely essential to maintaining these friendships. Teen depression can be extremely intense at times because of physical and hormonal changes but emotional instability is part of adolescence. Their changing mind, body and relationships often present themselves as stressful and that change, they assume, is something to be feared.

Your experiences in life help you to mature. The maturity is developed when you know you have no one to blame for the past but the circumstances and your immaturity. Oftentimes your immaturity stopped you from having a proper perspective of the facts facts and seeing things as they were. This made you blame others for your sufferings. You may have created and escalated your suffering without realizing the facts and circumstances and taking a easy way out by holding others responsible for it.

You feel you are always on the receiving end of every wrong or perceived wrong due to your immaturity. However, life has a knack of replaying memories and after few years it recreates the same circumstances but this time puts you on the opposite side (giving end), you are left with no choice but to accept the fact that you were so immature then and have grow-up with years. As you mature, life makes you see your ‘old you’ in somebody else now in these replaying of circumstances and you know that the other person still has to wait years ahead to grow and realize these facts.

Maturity slowly leads to wisdom when you know that it is only you who has to stand up and take responsibility for your past – action / inaction, sufferings / failures instead of holding others responsible. It is truly said that you create your own happiness. By blaming others and holding grudges you keep happiness at bay and give way to hatred and self pity. However, with time and wisdom when you accept the responsibility for your sufferings and embrace all your successes without pride -you are truly happy.

Divorce And Its Affects On Maturity

Children of divorced parents often bitterly vow not to repeat the same mistakes. They want to avoid putting themselves and their own children through the pain that comes from the dissolution of a marriage. But, according to University of Utah researcher Nicholas H. Wolfinger, these children’s aspirations face unfavorable odds. “Growing up in a divorced family greatly increases the chances of ending one’s own marriage, a phenomenon called the divorce cycle or the intergenerational transmission of divorce.” Dr. Wolfinger has spent almost a decade studying the marriages of children from divorced homes in America. These children are more likely to marry during their teenage years, cohabitate and marry someone who is also a child of divorced parents. And they are also one-third less likely to marry if they are over age 20.

“Understanding the Divorce Cycle: The Children of Divorce in Their Own Marriages,” by Wolfinger, published by Cambridge University Press, contains important information for those interested in divorce and its repercussions. “Divorce is an important topic because it has so many consequences for well-being,” writes Wolfinger,

“Its transmission between generations adds a whole new dimension by perpetuating the cycle of divorce. The divorce cycle, in short, can be thought of as a cascade. Ending a marriage starts a cycle that threatens to affect increasing numbers of people over time, a sobering thought in an era when half of all new marriages fail.” His research also suggests that if one spouse comes from divorced parents, the couple may be up to twice as likely to divorce. Spouses who are both children of divorced parents are three times more likely to divorce as couples who both hail from intact families.

Besides observing the marital stability of the offspring of divorced couples, Wolfinger’s book provides another perspective on how parental divorce affects offspring marriage timing, mate selection, cohabitating relationships as well as historical trends in the divorce cycle. Wolfinger also explores the divorce reform movement in America and argues in favor of no-fault divorce laws, arguing that a return to an age of tough divorce laws would recreate the social conditions that used to make divorce harder on children.

It is my opinion considering all that has been written on this subject that one reason children from divorced families get divorced more often is because they have a tendency to marry as teenagers. Social history demonstrates that the older you are when you marry, the less likely you are to get divorced. It’s good advice for everyone.”

On the other hand, the more transitions children experience while growing up, the more they will experience as adults. Taking this into consideration, the question that needs to be asked is, “What is the hardest for kids is how many disruptions they experience — the up-and-down cycles.

This is a valid question because many children will have stepparents, and some will see their new families dissolve. This type of disruption occurs any time they lose a parent — except from death. That’s different, and doesn’t have the same negative effects on children… whereas divorce is ambiguous. Children wonder whether the divorce was their fault or who is to blame. And they wonder ‘Is he coming back?’” It is certainly good news that people are less likely to stay in high conflict marriages than they used to. However, “ending a low-conflict marriage may hurt children as much as staying in a high-conflict family,” and the odds of divorce transmission are actually highest if parents dissolve a marriage after little or no conflict. It therefore behooves us to evaluate the effects divorce will have upon our children and their emotional well being should we decide to travel that road.

But before making that decision, we should honestly examine ourselves and the motivating things that are moving us in that direction. This inventory, if prayerfully done will allow us to see the other persons point of view more clearly and thereby make the necessary adjustments, where warranted, to resolve the issues that precipitated situation to begin with. If we are truly willing to continue the relationship, then we must take the necessary steps needed to resolve the issues of what is good or bad by first considering what we could have done to alleviate the problem rather than casting blame. When we allow the power of forgiveness to flow in us we cannot only deal with the past and present, but also the future as bonds are cemented.

Gray, Deborah. Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today’s Parents. Indiana:Perspectives Press Inc., 2002.

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Source by Franklyn T. Johnson, Ph.D

Views: 0
February 3, 2020
Giving a Great "Walk Around" Sales Presentation

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Salespeople should know that a walk around isn’t just a presentation, it is a chance to discover the customer’s needs and turn your product or services features into a benefit for that customer.

Learning good selling techniques takes practice and learning how to give a “walk around” sales presentation is essential to the sales process.

An excellent walk around presentation is not a canned presentation. It has been said, “A good walk around presentation doesn’t work because it’s canned; it got canned because it works.” That’s what a walk around should be – not canned, but planned. Salespeople need to know where they are going all the time. Hopefully they can help guide the customer down the Road to the Sale.

Before we can attempt a presentation we must understand what a “feature” is and what a “benefit” is. A feature is what something is – a benefit is what something does. Let’s use automobile sales as an example. So let’s look at some car sales techniques. A “walk around” occurs when a salesperson pulls a vehicle out of the line of cars in front of the dealership. The salesperson opens the doors, the trunk, and the hood. They turn on the car and get the A/C running in the summertime (or the heater in the winter time). They take the customer and tell them about the vehicle as they walk around it.

The aerodynamic styling of a vehicle is a feature; great gas mileage and a quiet ride are the resulting benefits. A lot of salespeople are good at reciting features, but not at explaining why the customer needs them – and this is for two reasons. One is they don’t know enough about the car and the other is they did a poor job qualifying the customer’s needs. Ask questions of your customer. Ask what they want from their next vehicle and listen to what is said.

How can a salesperson enthusiastically talk about the double steel cargo box if they don’t know what the customer is going to use the vehicle for? They can’t.

In a typical selling situation a salesperson might say something like, “Yes sir, this car has everything you’re looking for: a fuel efficient engine and a hands-free Bluetooth communications system. It also has ABS brakes, limited slip rear axle, and terrain management.” Sounds all well and good, right? Wrong. There is nothing your salesperson has told this customer that 1,500 other salespeople and brochures and Internet research haven’t already told him.

So the customer looks at the salesperson like a deer in the headlights. He doesn’t know what he is what he is supposed to say, except what he is probably thinking, “I can see all of these options, Mr. Salesperson. Tell me something I don’t know.” You see, when the salesperson recites his or her cornucopia of knowledge, it isn’t a question so it doesn’t really move the sale forward. He is just repeating what the customer told him he wanted.

The customer’s only response is, “Yes, Mr. Salesperson, I can see it has everything I asked for. How much is it?” Or worse yet, the customer may say nothing. The worst thing that can enter a walk around presentation is silence. When there is silence, there is pressure and in the selling process, we want no pressure. As I mentioned many times, the only common ground a customer has is the price. When you stop talking, the only thing they can say is how much… or goodbye.

To do an excellent walk around, salespeople need to remember the thing the customer wants to know more than anything, “What will it do for me?” Until you tell customer that answer, then he is probably isn’t listening.

Back to the walk around – how long did it take me to recite the options above, 30 seconds? What do I do now? I am out of things to say. Obviously there are lots of options and I could probably go on for a while, but even if I could memorize them all on every model, the customer will be yawning. Why? Because he wants to know what it will do for him. If salespeople are just going to recite options, they would be better off to hand the customer a brochure and send him on his way. The brochure is better than a salesperson will ever be at features. They break down the passenger compartment to cubic inches for heaven’s sake! When it comes right down to it, does the customer even care that there is 28 inches of legroom? No. But he will be interested to know that, “Because of the transverse mounted engine, Mr. Customer, when you and your family take that trip to Colorado this summer you can really stretch out your legs!” That is how you sell legroom. Note: Without asking good questions, how could you make the above statement? But here’s the good news: you can make that statement even more powerful in two ways – by moving the sale forward and by asking for the order.

There are many ways to move the sale forward, but here are a few. These are simple phrases that keep the customer following you:

“Let me show you this feature on your new Ford Explorer.”

“Let me show you this,”

“Let me show you one more thing,”

“Great, follow me.”

Ask for the order, it is quite simple, for example:

“That’s a feature I’m sure you’d like, isn’t it?” The customer says, “Yeah!” The salesperson says, “Great, follow me,” or “Great, now let me show you one more thing.”

The above question is one which you should already know the answer. Use it with a feature the customer wants, for example, seat belts, air bags, crumple zones, etc. A customer just won’t say no to seat belts.

During the sale you are always closing — in sales terminology that means you are always asking the customer for the order. For example, a very successful salesman in a 20-minute presentation will ask the customer in several different ways, in more than a dozen times if they want to buy the vehicle.

Some of the best closing techniques to use during a sale are called tie downs. Some call them trial closes. A tie down is simply a question at the end of a statement that demands a response. Instead of saying, “Those airbags are a wonderful feature.” In the eyes of a customer, this is just an opinion. But, if I added, “Aren’t they?” to the end of that statement, it forces the customer to respond, hopefully in a positive way.

Or, “On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the highest rating, how would you rate this vehicle so far? What would it take to make that number a 10?”

However, sometimes a customer may say something that implies that they don’t like the vehicle. For example, “Oh, that looks like something else that will break.”

One way to handle these “objections” is to address the issue with the “Feel, Felt, Found” response. For example, you might respond by saying, “I can see why you might feel that. A lot of people have felt the same way, but once you’ve found out the engineering behind, you’ll see how beneficial this can be for you.”

These few tips will build the foundation for a confident walk around presentation.

– Learn your product inside and out, research what’s being said about your product on the internet.

– Get to know your customer’s needs in the initial greeting and qualification.

– Present with confidence and tie the features back to their needs.

– Help make their needs become their wants.

– Remember to refer to competitive brands and create value.

– Take full advantage of your product expertise when doing a walk around presentation and SELL yourself and your product.

And remember, selling is a process of listening to customer needs, finding solutions to their needs, building value you in your product or service, and giving them an opportunity to buy that product or service that serves their needs!

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Source by Vincent Hennigan

Views: 0

February 2, 2020
Here Is Why Everyone Needs Health Insurance

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Today, healthcare insurance is one of the hottest political topics. Everyone is asking who should be able to have health insurance, what will be the costs of it, can you survive without insurance and what will be the penalty? In this article, we are going to help you know the reasons why everyone needs health insurance.

Life is Unpredictable

While the spontaneity of life is pleasant, know that your health and budget may be hit hard due to unpredictable circumstances. Major health illnesses like diabetes, cancer or HIV have high medical costs. If you don’t have health insurance, the cost of these medical treatments may ruin your credit rating. As a matter of fact, medical bills is one of the reasons why many people go bankrupt.

Regardless of your circumstances, it’s important that you have insurance. You have no idea what is going to happen in your life down the road. We hope that nothing bad is going to happen in your life but it’s great to have peace of mind by signing up for an insurance policy. This will give you the peace of mind that your medical bills will be covered, and that you won’t go bankrupt.

Maintain Your Health

In your life, your most valuable asset is your health. Most of us take insurance as a type of financial support we get in the event of an accident or illness. However, it’s important to keep in mind that it’s equally important to maintain good health. If you eat well, you can stay in good shape.

If you don’t have insurance, you won’t need to go to a doctor for medical checkups. Actually, a health insurance policy enables you to benefit from the “preventive care”, which is part of most plans. What you can do is see your qualified doctor for checkups and take part in other benefits like health screenings. This can help you maintain your health. Also, the insurance policy plan you have chosen can help you find out what is included.

Reduce Your Costs

It’s important to keep in mind that insurance providers offer special rates for doctors who are part of their network. So, if you have health insurance, you can reduce your medical costs significantly.

Avoid a Penalty

Aside from saving on your health care costs, an insurance plan can help you avoid a penalty as well. Today’s health insurance laws have a requirement that you should have a health insurance plan or you may have to pay a penalty for the month for which you or your partner or your tax dependants don’t show that they have the minimum coverage. And typically, this fee is based on a person or household income whichever is higher. This penalty can be avoided if you have health insurance.

It’s important for everyone to have health insurance. After all, you have no idea what is going to happen in the future. You can enjoy the best health care provided you get the right insurance policy.

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Source by Shalini M

Views: 0

February 1, 2020
Discover How to Become Rich, Famous & Successful With a Modeling Career

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The road to becoming rich, famous and successful in modeling is not for everyone though. In the old days you had to be extra extra skinny in order to become a rich and famous model. Today however there are far more modeling avenues that entice many looks and body types.

You may have looked at a fashion magazine and have a pretty good idea of what modeling is. To get a good look into the requirements of modeling you may want to catch an episode of Americas Next Top Model. Most of the models on the tv show are high fashion models, but you may be wanting to get into another type of modeling like plus size industry. Modeling is everywhere we go and look. Only you know what kind of model you could be but be truthful with you self.

Before you jump into pursuing a modeling career you need to make sure your are doing it for the right reasons. If not you will misguide yourself and will not make it to where you want. If you think modeling is a good way to jump start your singing or acting career you best think about it again. People with this attitude rarely make it very far in modeling. All the top modeling professionals frown upon people like this everyday. To become rich, famous and successful in a modeling career you will need to have dedication and passion.

If you are male you will need to step outside of your shell to succeed. You see more female models than you do male models. Do not let this get you down by thinking you have to display big muscles. Modeling has went through many changes since the early days. Over time new genres, styles and looks have been added with even more on the way. You just might have that new style consumers are trying to find. You just never know in our ever changing world.

To be successful in a career of modeling you will need a high level of self confidence and ambition. No matter if you are female, male or what your body type is. When you enter into modeling you will have to work extra hard to be be transformed into a popular well known face. Be careful not to get ties up with an agency that does not treat or handle their clients honestly and respectfully. Every good agency will not need you to give them money. They will earn money once you land your first modeling gig.

When you find open calls make sure you go and do not talk yourself into not going no matter what you are thinking. Just do it. You see an open call is just as good as open houses where interested models are invited to be interviewed. You need to dress in clothing that will exhibit your body type and features. You will also want to pick an outfit out that is fashionable. This is your chance to prove yourself to the representatives of the agency. You will not stand out to them if you just wear your normal everyday clothes. To become famous you have to act like your famous in order to become rich, famous and successful in modeling.

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Source by Dennis J. Cole

Views: 0

February 1, 2020
What You Need To Know About Drug And Alcohol Addiction Treatment Programs

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A drug and alcohol addiction treatment program is one of the most successful ways to wean yourself from drugs, alcohol and all other addicting processes. If you are at the stage where you are considering drug and alcohol addiction recovery, the good news is that you are on the road to recovery. The bad news is that this is a long and very difficult journey that you will have to take. A drug rehab clinic is often one of the best ways for you to detox from alcohol and drug use. But, you need to do so with the necessary knowledge about the drug and alcohol addiction treatment program you plan to attend.

Here are some fundamental things to consider about the drug and alcohol addiction treatment program you are considering.

· Your drug rehab clinic should provide help for all areas of the infected person. That includes their psychological, medical, and legal problems.

It can also address their needs for finding a way to work and overall restart their life.

· Realize that not all treatment programs are the same for everyone. You should work with the clinic to determine the most appropriate treatment program for your specific circumstances.

· The program should allow for continuous change to it, as the individual grows through it. As they begin to repair the damage done to them by drugs, the effective treatment program should change to accommodate these needs.

· Time is needed. It is necessary for a person to stay in treatment for as long as possible. On average, this is about three full months. Only with enough time will the treatment be successful.

· The drug and alcohol addiction treatment program also needs to focus on the medicinal needs of the patient. That would mean careful consideration for their specific medical concerns. Things like withdrawal medications are almost always necessary in severely addicted individuals.

· You should realize that detoxifying the individual is not enough to stop the behavior. The drug rehab clinic needs to handle more than just this process. It needs to look for the long term rehabilitation of the individual. Detoxing is just not enough.

· Also, you should take note that voluntary drug treatment is not always necessary. If a person is motivated to detox because of family, employment or legal problems, this can be enough to push them through it.

Additionally, this force to go in can help them to become more successful at their program as well.

Drug and alcohol addiction recovery does and can happen through a high quality drug and alcohol addiction treatment program. Once the alcohol and drug detox has happened, the next step is to correct the behavioral, emotional, physical and long term effects of the drugs. This can be the mark of healing when the program addresses the full scope of what is happening.

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Source by Sandy Sizemore

Views: 1

January 31, 2020
Mad Max: Fury Road Relationship Between Max and Furiosa

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Mad Max Fury Road is a story that involves two people by the name Max and Furiosa who are held captive and are trying to escape from Hamlet. Max is suffering outrageous fortunes but he is learning from the fortunes while Furiosa has decided to oppose her troubles by taking arms against the leaders of Hamlet. The two characters cannot trust each other at first but due to their circumstances they are forced to rely on each other. Love is humanized in the film where much deeper conventions of love are stricken. Max is a loner and a survivor who has been traumatized in a world where people see him as a blood bag. On the contrary Furiosa is scheming a plan to help five women who have been enslaved in Hamlet. Max does not trust Furiosa and in most parts of the film he holds a gun on her.

In the middle of these desperate attempts to escape from their chasers Max and Furiosa are forced to depend on each other. In many love stories people fall in love due to opportunities provided by circumstances. The alignment of stars and personal chemistry makes this happen. Every step of the relationship between Max and Furiosa is dictated by their circumstances where the only choice they are left with is to depend and rely on each other and to trust each other in order to escape. In a critical scene Furiosa asks Max his name but he refuses to tell her. In the end Max finally tells Furiosa his name where there are significant happenings throughout the film. These moments appear and vanish in the film through chaos and apocalyptic alienation. Max and Furiosa form an alliance where they try to fight motorcycles that are shooting at them. He leaves her to go to a mission which may be fatal but fears no one would notice if he dies in the mission. Max talks Furiosa out of a suicide mission when he says “you know hope is a mistake”. Max eventually decides hope is not a mistake and went back to Furiosa where he joins her and they plan to oppose the forces against them.

At the end of the film Max does not stay with Furiosa but he leaves and eventually disappears into the crowd. A modern viewer can resonate with this film in that modern man is alienated from himself, from the world and from fellow men. Everyone is alone, with a deep sense of insecurity, guilt and anxieties which are results of separation that cannot be overcome. Like Max lost his identity in the opening moments, man has lost his identity too, and is overcome by powerful forces that own him. Like Furiosa man tries to search for a community and the only thing he finds is a desert.

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Source by Jeremiah Otieno Odhiambo

Views: 0

January 31, 2020
Mercury Retrograde As Healing

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Oh no! Mercury retrograde! Well… not so fast.

It happens every time Mercury goes retrograde (the effect that makes the planet appear to travel backwards in the sky). Things go wrong-well, thanks a lot mercury retrograde. It’s an ingrained response. And it reveals a not-so-hidden problem (if a generally ignored one).

Mercury, of course, doesn’t really go backwards – it simply appears to do so from our perspective on Earth. And that’s the heart of the matter – perception. We see an elliptical orbit from our own elliptical spinning. It distorts reality.

You know this, of course, and that “mercury retrograde” refers to the astrological energetic correspondence. But consider – what is simply an ongoing cycle is perceived as ups and downs. It’s neither. It just is, a fundamental reality.

And that’s the problem with “my current troubles are because mercury is retrograde.” No, they’re not. Rather, mercury retrograde is shining a light on fundamental problems. Literally – the foundation is lacking, creating the perception that problems have abruptly come about that were actually a long time coming.

There’s disruption – True. But the fault isn’t negative energy.

I had a strained conversation with my dad. My partner said something dismissive. My muscles are sore and stiff. And I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed. Mercury retrograde, right? (And let’s not forget the annoying slow Internet speed). I even blew up a wheelbarrow tire yesterday, just pumping air back into it after it went flat.

The problems here, though, are fundamental. My dad and I have had awkward conversations for years. My partner and I have busy schedules and don’t always communicate well. Instead of rotating cardio, weights, and swimming at the gym, I did all three one day, then stacked firewood the next. My schedule is too packed, and I already knew that three months ago (will be better shortly). The Internet is often slow here (trying to get a new provider to come in). And the tire was ancient.

Foundations build potentials – constant yang eventually fails.

Yin energy is about potential. Before I undertake strenuous physical tasks, I have to build up over time. Before I can have open conversation when topics are difficult, I have to build trust and connection over time. Before I can enjoy fast services, I need the supporting infrastructure in place. Tires don’t last forever, and need to be inspected and maintained. And schedules packed tight don’t work.

We’re mainly all about the yang energy. But just like mercury, it travels in circular motion (and not in a straight line and then back, however it might appear). We push and strive and force and stubbornly persist, working against nature herself, thinking we have to do so, but fooling only ourselves.

Research shows multi-tasking is a myth (we can do both tasks separately faster than both together). “Overwhelmed” is an over-reaction we invented for dramatic effect (“whelmed” means exactly the same thing). And no matter how far you need to drive, you’ll have to stop and get fuel. Vehicle maintenance is a good idea too. If not – you’ll be sitting at the side of the road.

Healing can’t be all yang (if you want to remain healthy)

No one ever says: “Hey, I’d like to work on the fundamental pieces creating the health, emotional, and spiritual challenges I’m facing. Ever. Instead, it’s mostly “can you just do a session and fix this?” Frankly, sometimes yes, that can happen, but that’s not ultimately the best approach.

Trees grow extensive root systems before branching into leafy canopies – or they’d fall at the first strong wind. Busy successful and happy people don’t “find” time to meditate-they know that an hour of focus in the morning is the reason for their continued happiness and success. Schedules can be more organic and realistic by making choices and delegating (“but I have to do these things because no one else can” is a lie we all tell ourselves). And 1 in 25 people never get sick, their entire lives – because they understand (and continually practice) balance.

That’s why to pursue more than straight healing sessions

Self-healing, integrating levels of being, getting unstuck, building effective meditation practice, understanding and overcoming long-term pain, overcoming emotional challenges, the 12 keys to healing-these essential building blocks help you learn to live in wholeness and ongoing health – including thriving in spiritual balance.

Some people do monthly combination programs, so they can benefit from both healing sessions and program material to heal and to maintain their health, their mental and emotional peace and balance, and to best show up in the world to thrive as the beautiful people they always were and were meant to be.

Because Mercury doesn’t travel back and forth on a straight line. And neither does healing. For ongoing health and progress, you must master circular effort.

So thank Mercury for the reminder. Then turn your attention to fundamentals.

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Source by Tim Emerson

Views: 0

January 23, 2020
Book Review Of Millionaire Fastlane

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Book Review of Millionaire Fastlane by M.J. Demarco

This book is one of the best books on Entrepreneurship in which the author lays out five commandments to be on the Millionaire Fastlane. According to the author, until and unless the business complies with the five commandments, they are not destined to be successful. These commandments are:

Commandment of Need, Entry, Control, Scale and Time (NECST).

Commandment of Need:

Millionaires affect lives of millions of people by adding some values to their lives and hence are millionaires. If the marketplace does not care about your product or service then it is not going to add value to the marketplace and it is a failed venture before it takes off. So, every business should first figure out if there is a need for the service or product your business is going to deliver or not.

So, we have seen test products being sold for free to test the water. All they are doing is trying to figure out if there is any demand or not.

People often start business with wrong reasons. They are good at something and very skilled and open a business about it. But if the marketplace does not care about it, it’s going to be a failure because marketplace is a selfish place. It does not care what you want, what you have, how good you are. All it cares about it is what is it for them. If it adds some value to their lives then they will buy it otherwise not. So, it’s a big eye opener for me and could be for so many budding entrepreneurs.

Commandment of Entry:

This is the second commandment to successful business. If the barrier to entry is very easy it means millions will be doing the same thing and you will not have the ability to scale your business but rather will have to decrease the price and compete those millions. Usually war of price harms all the parties. For example if creating a website and writing a blog and generate income is your business then there is not enough barrier to entry unless you try to add something extra value to the marketplace which not anyone else has added yet. An example which the author gives few times is when he thought about starting Limo business. He found it failed both the first and second commandments. There was no need for one more limo business and barrier was very low to enter into this business.

Commandment of Control:

If you have no control over your business and you have given entire authority to another party, you are doomed to failure.

Many entrepreneurs start a company and then hire a CEO or CFO to completely take control of operation or finance. They know nothing about what is going on and that is the recipe to failure. Especially when entrepreneurs do not have any basic financial knowledge like what is loan mortgage, how to calculate simple interest but hire an expert to help them make decisions. Since they themselves cannot take a second look at the decisions made by their advisers, chances are that they might screw up and entrepreneur will have to bear the loss.

One of the examples given in the book about the benefit of controlling the business is given as the following. If you are a doctor working at a private-care facility it’s natural to think that you are on the fastlane because your magnitude (price/unit) is large and that will increase the net profit and hence wealth. But, the control of the private care facility is not held by the doctors but by the owner. So, it’s him who is on the fastlane not the doctor who depends on his intrinsic value to increase the wealth.

Commandment of Scale:

The author gives an example of a burger stall outside a supermarket. No matter how much the owner tries, he cannot scale his business and reach out to customers outside of the supermarket. So, this business violates the commandment of scale. But an e-store that sells some product in the internet has unlimited number of customers and hence has the capacity to scale his business to unlimited level. However, if the entrepreneur can create franchise of any burger store then he has the ability to scale and will be on the fastlane.

The author gives an example of a quote by the billionaire Mark Cuban who said it only one business to be successful. So, it’s important that we undertake projects which can be scaled up. In baseball terms, take swing for home runs not singles. If you do decide to play singles, you have to replicate the effort many more times.

The Fastlane wealth equation is:

Wealth = Net Profit + Asset Value

Net Profit = Units sold * Unit Profit

The leverage is created by the units sold. If you are selling burgers on the supermarket lot, you are limiting the leverage and hence you are on the speed limit of 15 mph road. Also, you cannot increase the price of the burger so the unit profit cannot be controlled as well.

So, either you have to be able to reach millions of people to increase the Units Sold quantity or sell at very high price to extra wealthy clients to increase the unit profit values.

Commandment of time:

Time is the scarcest resource we have. Most people spend money frugally and time freely. That according to the author is exactly the wrong way to the road to wealth. Time is limited and money is abundant. Only difference between successful and unsuccessful people is the way they spend their time. The former value each moment of their life and spend it to increase their self-worth. The latter waste it on fulfilling their immediate desires like watching TV series, indulging in games etc. for long period of time etc.

As per the author, fastlane is not an easy path but sure it should be a fast way to earn wealth.

As a fastlaner, our goal should be to automate the travel. If you have a business which requires you to dedicate each moment of your life all the time and always have to trade time for money, it’s a job masked as a business. It’s a money tree that never grows.

It’s normal to work more than 80 hours per week in the starting phase of a business but it’s not normal to work like that for the rest of the life which is a normal for most of the people working normal life. One of the famous quotes from the book which is often used outside as well is about how most of the people define as normal. Normal is to wake up at 6 am, fight traffic, work 8 hours or slave 8 hours Monday to Friday, save 10% and repeat for 50 years. Normal is to believe that stock market will make us rich and fastest car and bigger house will make us happy. The definition of normal is corrupted by the society and we are conditioned to believe that. In short, the author believes, normal is modern day slavery and that’s why only few have the courage and the intelligence to come out of normalcy and drive on a millionaire’s fastlane.

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Source by Manju Pradhanang

Views: 0

January 23, 2020
Business Ethics for the Mindful Dance Professional

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Once upon a time, a dance teacher opened her own studio down the road from her former employer’s school, taking advantage of her former teaching position to start her own studio. Sound familiar? This is an all too common story in the dance studio business and unfortunately, this is no fairy-tale.

We have all heard a version of this story or perhaps experienced it first-hand. Poaching students–direct or indirect solicitation of another’s students–is a practice that mindlessly fragments and divides the dance community. In addition to poaching students, other subtle, but just as divisive, practices include: making negative remarks about other teachers/schools, misrepresentation of the self by making false, exaggerated, or ambiguous claims, and making disparaging comparisons or references about others.

What drives otherwise enterprising individuals to engage in business practices that burn bridges, sow the seeds of deceit, and model mindless behavior?

Darwin. You heard me–Darwin is to blame. Well, not really Darwin himself, but the misinterpretation of his theories into a business context is at the root of this dilemma. When the business world adopted the neo-Darwinian philosophy of “survival of the fittest”, they unleashed a ready-made excuse for unethical action.

As a culture that witnessed the “cola wars” first hand, we picked up the idea that anything goes when it comes to business and marketing. Ethics and morals need not apply. “That’s business” they say while defending their actions. They fail to see the big picture: to look mindfully at the situation. They unknowingly hurt the larger dance profession and therefore themselves. It is a case of one’s right hand shooting one’s left and thinking this is good.

What makes one feel justified in approaching the business of dance studios in this mindless manner?

At the root of the neo-Darwinian business approach is a sense of isolation and scarcity. These teachers believe that it is “them against the world”–or, more directly, “them against the other local studios/teachers.” Add to this sense of isolation a sense of scarcity–that there are not enough students to go around–and you start to understand how one begins to rationalize why stealing students is necessary for survival. However, these twin concepts–isolation and scarcity–are illusions in the dance world.

Studios fighting over the same group of students create a negative atmosphere in the community. Parents sense this negativity and choose alternative activities for their children because they seem more wholesome: the potential young dancer takes up soccer. However, in a community where more than one dance school thrives without negativity, a greater number of students enjoy dance as an activity. This greater number of students translates down the road into a greater number of future dancers, dance teachers, and, most importantly, audience members. If dance studios stopped seeing each other so much as competitors and more as colleagues, the entire dance profession would benefit.

The solution starts as simply as making replacements: replacing mindless competition with mindful collegiality, mindless isolation with mindful interconnectedness, and mindless scarcity with mindful abundance. We must realize that the dance profession, from the smallest recreational dance class to the largest professional company, is interconnected. The entire web of the dance world is vitally linked.

For example, the dance community is rather small in comparison with the larger world of sports. There are many more children participating in sports than the arts. Rather than interpreting this as a reason to fight for resources, we should embrace a sense of abundance. There are more than enough potential students out there to sustain every school if we focus on bringing more students into dance rather than fighting over those already there. It is to the benefit of the dance profession at every level to include more of the non-dance world inside our walls rather than put up walls within our own.

So, how can we begin to break down the twin illusions of isolation and scarcity in the dance studio world and open our eyes to interconnectedness and abundance?

We need to base our actions and practices on ideals that reflect the dance world as a healthy and vibrant community rather than a dire and hopeless one that lends itself to mindless behavior. Adopting a code of ethics that reinforces a mindful and wholesome outlook will not just serve as guidelines, but also help promote a positive environment for those whom they effect.

Going forward, we all need to embrace a code of ethics that addresses these issues. The following list is nowhere near complete, but it is a place to start.

Business Ethics for the Mindful Dance Professional

In all professional and business relations, the dance professional shall exhibit respect, honesty, and integrity for themselves, clients, and colleagues.

A. Respect

A dance professional shall refrain from making negative remarks that may discredit, malign, or in any way cast reflection on the professional standing of another school/studio or teacher.

A dance professional shall refrain from making any disparaging references to, or disparaging comparisons with, the services of others

A dance professional shall refrain from publishing, or causing to be published, any notice, newspaper advertisement, or any other matter likely to damage or depreciate the reputation of any colleague.

B. Honesty

A dance professional shall accurately portray his or her qualifications or affiliations to the public especially in advertising material and avoid any ambiguity or exaggeration.

A dance professional shall refrain from portraying his or her qualifications or affiliations to the public in a way intended to deceive the uninitiated. For example: having danced a child role in the Nutcracker with a professional company and listing it as to portray having danced professionally with the company.

C. Integrity

A dance professional shall refrain from directly soliciting business from another teacher or studio by approaching, in any manner the pupil, pupils or employees of another teacher and, for any reason at all, to try to induce them to join his/her school.

A dance professional shall refrain from indirectly soliciting business from another teacher or studio by making adverse criticism against other teachers’ methods, by offering free coaching, by citing the advantages to be gained by the pupil from the change (e.g. offering roles/parts), or other similar methods.

With each of us taking responsibility for our own actions by embracing a mindful ethical base, we can co-create a healthier, connected, and abundant environment in the business of dance schools. Moreover, with all we have in common, we might just discover we make better friends than enemies.

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Source by James Robey

Views: 0

January 16, 2020
Categories of Ethical Dilemmas in Business

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First published in Exchange, the magazine of the Brigham Young University School of Business, the following twelve categories were developed to cover the root or cause of most ethical business dilemmas that one might encounter in their jobs. I have summarized them to keep them short and simple.

1. Taking Things That Don’t Belong To You

Everything from taking highlighters from the storage room, to sending personal mail through the mailroom, to downloading unauthorized games to play on your work computer fall into this category. A CFO of a major corporation took a cab from the airport to his home in the city. When he asked the cabbie for receipt, he was handed a full book of blank receipts. Apparently this dilemma of accurately reporting business expenses involves more than just one employee.

2. Saying Things That You Know Are Not True

When a car salesperson insists to a customer that a used car has not been in a previous accident, when it has, an ethical breach has occurred. When a clerk in a store assures a customer that a product has a money-back guarantee, when only trade-ins are allowed, another ethical violation occurred (and perhaps a violation of the law).

3. Giving Or Allowing False Impressions

There is an urban legend in which 2 CD’s were being sold on a TV infomercial that claimed that that all the hits of the 1980’s were on the CDs. The infomercial emphasized over and over again that all songs were performed by the original artists. When they received the CDs, upon closer inspection, they found that all songs had been covered by a band called The Original Artists. While technically true, the impression given by the infomercial was false.

4. Buying Influence or Engaging in Conflict of Interest

When a company awards a construction contract to an organization owned by the brother of the attorney general, or when a county committee who is charged with choosing a new road construction company is traveling around the state looking at roads at the expense of one of the bidders, a conflict of interest arises which might affect the results of that choice.

5. Hiding or Divulging Information

Failing to divulge information from the results of a study on the safety of a new product, or choosing to take your companies proprietary product information to a new job are examples that fall into this category.

6. Taking Unfair Advantage

Have you ever wondered why there seem to be so many product safety rules and procedures? It is primarily the result of laws passed by government institutions to protect the consumer from companies that previously took unfair advantage of them because of their lack of knowledge or through complex contractual obligations.

7. Committing Acts of Personal Decadence

Over time, it has become increasing clear that the acts of employees outside of work can have a negative effect on a businesses image. This is one of the primary reasons companies are minimizing social interactions or events, outside of the office, so that drug or alcohol related events can not be tracked back to the company.

8. Perpetuating Interpersonal Abuse

At the heart of this category of ethical misbehavior is the abuse of employees through sexual harassment, verbal lashing, or public humiliation by a company leader.

9. Permitting Organizational Abuse

When an organization chooses to operate in another country, it sometimes butts up against social culture in which child labor, demeaning work environments or excessive hours are required. It is at this point that the leaders of the company have a choice…whether to perpetuate that abuse or alleviate it.

10. Violating Rules

In some cases, people or organizations violate rules to expedite a process or decision. In many of these cases, the results would have been the same regardless, but by violating the rules or required procedures for that outcome, they can potentially scar the reputation of the organization they work for.

11. Condoning Unethical Actions

Suppose you are at work one day and you notice that a colleague of yours is using petty cash for personal purchases and fail to report it. Perhaps you know that a new product in development has safety issues, but you don’t speak out. In these examples, failing to do right creates a wrong.

12. Balancing Ethical Dilemmas

What about a situation that would be considered neither right, nor wrong? What should be done here? Should Google or Microsoft do business in China when human rights violations are committed daily? Sometimes an organization must balance the need to do business with any ethical dilemmas that might arise from doing business.

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Source by John Bascom

Views: 0

January 11, 2020