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Drug Addiction in Senior Citizens

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Drug addiction in senior citizens is a significant and growing problem in the United States that few people are aware of. In fact, addiction that occurs later in life can be difficult to detect, and sometimes the person suffering from this disease might not even know that they are physically and emotionally dependent on a particular substance. Therefore, a policy of education about the dangers of addiction in older people is essential in order for those who are close to them to recognize any problem and know what options are available to get help. This is especially important considering that recent increases in the amount of older people entering drug rehab programs indicate this problem is probably far worse than we might think.

The primary way that seniors get addicted to drugs is as a result of chronic pain management. Even under strict medical supervision, addiction to pain medications can and does still occur. This is because these types of narcotics work the same for everyone: they initially manage pain well, then the body develops tolerance and more of the drug is required. With an increase in dosage and consistent use, tolerance increases and eventually leads to physical dependence. Physical dependence almost invariably leads to outright addiction at a mental and emotional level. Therefore, seniors who are taking pain medications regularly are at increased risk for addiction. And because these medications are prescribed by doctors, most people consider them harmless and don’t think that addiction will ever become an issue. However, once it sets in, addiction is a lifelong affliction that can cause serious health issues.

Another primary reason that older people become addicted to drugs or alcohol is as a result of lifestyle changes. These changes include the celebration of a life of toil and work, but can lead to some very bad habits. For instance, frequent dinners that include wine or beer can quickly become problematic. Before a person knows it, they’re having cocktails with lunch and dinner, and eventually Mimosas or Bloody Mary’s with breakfast.

As a result of inactivity after a lifetime of working, some seniors have difficulty sleeping. Medications designed to help people get to sleep are extremely addicting and can lead to significant problems with memory loss. Older people who are addicted to sleeping pills often engage in strange or erratic behavior while having no recollection of doing so. And because sleep aids can lead to a persistent state of confusion, it can be difficult for a person to understand that they have a problem.

Grief and depression is often a significant problem for senior citizens. As people get older their friends, family and associates age as well, and the loss of these people becomes a common occurrence. This combined with decreased levels of activity can lead to a state of depression that some people might seek to self-medicate with drugs or alcohol. Boredom and lack of exercise serve to exacerbate these problems.

If you have an older loved one with a drug or alcohol problem, their very life could depend on you. The following options are readily available:

Individual Therapy/Counseling

Intervention

Outpatient Rehab

Inpatient Rehab

Group and Family Therapy

Don’t wait a moment longer to take action; the earlier addiction or alcoholism is treated, the higher the likelihood of success.

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Source by Jim Debbies

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January 24, 2020
Advantages of Group Dating

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Group dating is very popular in Japan and it is also known as ‘compa’ and ‘gokon’. Group dating is slowly becoming very famous in other countries also because through group dating people can easily find a suitable partner. The concept of dating in a group is very unique and different. In this system a girl and a guy who know each other from before plan a date in which each of them get 4 to 5 eligible friends. This date can be held in discos, bars, restaurants and hotels.

So now let us discuss the most advantages of a dating in a group. These advantages will help you to understand this type dating in a better way.

1. Socialize in group in a much better way
As a group dating system involves trustworthy peers people can socialize in a much better way with each other. Group dating helps a person to learn from one another’s experiences. This type of dating involves a group of trusted teens who go out together in a group rather than in couples. Every parent want their kids to be in good company and influence, this type of dating helps them in this matter.

2. Group dating helps in observing the opposite sex
Teenagers are often interested in the opposite sex, but they are too scared of rejection. But in this type date setting, teenagers of genders can get to know each other very well. In this setting, every person can keep an eye on his or her friend, this helps in creating a better bond between friends and siblings.

3. Can get acquainted with each other very easily
This type of dating is most appropriate for those people who like some one but are not able to express their feelings. By becoming a part of this system they can get to know more about the person they like or love. Through group dating they get confidence and can face rejection more easily and boldly.

4. No risk of temptation
Having fun and getting to know each other are two main features of a group date. Kids involved in this type of dating are much better behaved because they want to impress each other. They avoid doing things that can harm their friends. Temptation is reduced to the bare minimum because kids are in the company of trustworthy friends.

5. No pressure of impressing any one
The main advantage of this type dating is that even if you do not manage to find a partner, you can still enjoy the outing or party with your friends. In a group dating even if you do not find a compatible partner you can still have a pleasant time, because you do not need to impress a particular person.

These are the most important advantages of this type of dating system.

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Source by Jessica N King

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January 24, 2020
Advantages and Disadvantages of Alternative Medicine

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There are reasons why people chose alternative medicine and reasons why they avoid it, preferring conventional medicine. Alternative medicine is safer than standard health treatments and usually works. It’s true that it can’t be used in severe conditions like car accidents or other severe emergencies, but be that as it may, there are enough situations in which alternative medicine is recommended. When it comes to emotional and spiritual needs, non-conventional medicine may come up with the solution. Furthermore, it’s better for preventing illnesses than standard medicine. More and more physicians nowadays agree upon the benefits of alternative medicine and also even advise their clients to choose the best natural treatment for them.

One of the advantages of alternative medicine is that it encompasses a broad range of therapies, treatments and products, thus the search for obtaining positive results doesn’t flow on a narrow path at all.

A pretty important disadvantage states the idea that, even though the expenses of using acupuncture or chiropractic are sometimes covered by health insurances, the majority of alternative treatments are not reimbursed.

There are certain risks that come along with the usage of natural remedies. Despite the use of herbs throughout the years and even ancient times, not all of them have been studied regarding their safety and efficiency. There are issues concerning their purity and their possible interaction with other substances related to conventional therapies. The majority of information regarding herbs have been perpetuated throughout history and with the help of tradition. Many people assume that herbal medicines are better than synthetic drugs simply because, well, they are natural and not synthetic, therefore present no risk. But they are not risk free; they can do more harm than good if taken without having the details of their effects over the body.

People might abuse of natural medicines the same way as they do it in the case of synthetic drugs. They have the misconception that if unconventional medicine consists of herbal products which are natural, then there is no harm done if they triple the dosage or more. This is totally wrong and can have serious consequences. Take vitamins for example. They are just vitamins, right? They can’t possibly do any damage inside the body. But they do. Vitamin overdosing or vitamin toxicity can lead to unpleasant effects depending on the vitamin that has been taken one too many times. Vitamin A over dosage can cause liver problems, osteoporosis, hair loss and other dangerous effects and Hypervitaminosis D leads to dehydration, vomiting, anorexia and even kidney stones.

An advantage of using herbal remedies concerns the effectiveness related with chronic health issues that don’t respond well or even at all to traditional medicines. If long term medication is needed, then herbs are pretty much safer than conventional drugs. The alternative medicine industry takes advantage from this and keeps evolving and developing due to the constant need for natural remedies.

Another advantage is the low cost of herbal products compared to synthetic drugs which are highly priced for the simple reason that researching and testing the products is expensive. Furthermore, herbal products can be bought without a prescription and are easy to procure. The availability of natural remedies is outstanding; chamomile for example can be easily picked out from a nearby field.

The advantages of using herbal medicines are numerous, but so are the disadvantages. The best idea would be to consider modern medicine according to the severity of the illness, to consult a physician upon the proper medication and dosage and if you do chose the alternative medicine, try to gather enough information upon both kinds of treatments, natural or synthetic, so you may reassure yourself that you took the right decision to balance your health situation.

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Source by Peter Rosenblum

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January 24, 2020
Five Distinct Mindsets of an Entrepreneur

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I have written in this column before about whether entrepreneurs are made or born (January 18). As I noted in that column, the issue is no longer the subject of debate. Entrepreneurs can be made, that much is clear. Unfortunately, the culmination of that debate begs a new question: What do aspiring entrepreneurs need to learn?

The most fruitful research into this question has identified a number of cognitive skills that “expert entrepreneurs” possess. Cognitive skills are, in short, unique ways of thinking. Entrepreneurs who have been examined to reveal the cognitive skills they possess are usually NOT able to articulate them. They are aware that they’ve developed capabilities to convert disparate resources into profitable opportunities, but they can’t exactly say how they do it.

Research has identified distinct patterns in the thought processes in an exceedingly diverse set of entrepreneurs. Scholars have translated these patterns into terms that can be used by people who teach entrepreneurship and, more importantly, those who practice it.

In another field of study, Harvard psychologist Howard Gardner wrote a book titled “Five Minds for the Future”. The rationale for Gardner’s work is that: “One cannot even begin to develop an educational system unless one has in mind the knowledge and skills that one values, and the kinds of individuals one hopes will emerge at the end”. His book focuses on the five “mindsets” that he believes essential to general education: the disciplined mind, the synthesizing mind, the creative mind, the ethical mind, and the responsible mind.

While Gardner’s minds are debatable, his perspective that the way people think largely defines who they become is instructive. In light of his work, it seems natural to wonder whether it is possible to identify five specific “mindsets” that are important to entrepreneurial success. My own research has identified five such mindsets: the opportunity recognizing mind, the designing mind, the risk managing mind, the resilient mind, and the effectuating mind.

The opportunity recognizing mind is cultivated by identifying “pain points” in industry-specific value chains. Expert entrepreneurs rapidly go from spotting a pain point to analyzing the size of the market opportunity. Aspiring entrepreneurs, in contrast, are more likely to extrapolate from limited experience, and they tend to neglect analyzing the SIZE of the opportunity.

The designing mind has learned how to create repeatable production processes that consistently create valuable output for an identified market. In fact, one of the main differentiators between entrepreneurship and small business is the entrepreneur designs and develops of production processes that do not require his or her constant attention. Small business owners generally enjoy working in their business. Entrepreneurs prefer the design approach of working on their business.

Risk management is a too-often overlooked element of entrepreneurial expertise. A common belief is that entrepreneurs are risk takers. In reality, entrepreneurs have learned to be highly effective risk minimizers. Where others see intolerable risk, the expert entrepreneur has learned to reduce the risk to an acceptable level. For example, expert entrepreneurs operate according to the “principle of affordable loss” when launching a new venture. They don’t risk more than they can afford to lose.

The resilient mind is simply the ability to bounce back from the inevitable failures and setbacks that all entrepreneurs encounter. Expert entrepreneurs have learned to distinguish their business failures from personal failure. Without question they still experience disappointment and frustration, but they don’t turn their negative emotions inward. They view their business experiences objectively, and they strive to learn as much or more from their failures than they do from their successes.

Finally, the effectuating mind is simply the ability realistically to assess one’s talents, situation, and prospects. Any particular entrepreneurial opportunity could be pursued by anyone, but not everyone can pursue each opportunity. Some people simply will be better prepared to capitalize on an opportunity than others. This may be due to their life history, family circumstances, genetic gifts, or other factors. Expert entrepreneurs have learned honestly to assess their own unique talents and to leverage them in pursuit of opportunity. They do not care that others may be better suited to pursue other, potentially more lucrative, opportunities.

The five mindsets entrepreneurial expertise are targets for lifelong learning and development. No matter your current level of expertise in any of these mindsets it is likely that you have room for improvement. If you deliberately practice and develop skills in these specific mindsets over time, the chances for your entrepreneurial success inexorably will improve.

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Source by Dr. Thomas Duening

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January 22, 2020
Importance Of Cash Control

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Cash is a vital component of any profit-generating organization. An organization’s assets generate revenue, which in turn generates cash inflows. These cash inflows are used for several purposes: to pay creditors, compensate employees, reward shareholders, provide asset replacement, and provide for growth.

Cash is unique because it’s the single asset that is readily convertible into any other type of asset. Therefore, it’s also the most widely desired asset. However, cash is also the asset that is most susceptible to fraud and abuse. Therefore, management has to ensure that adequate controls and safeguards are in place to eliminate any unauthorized transactions with cash.

Fortunately, there are ways management can safeguard the cash generated by its organization. Each of the following methods will help an organization prevent losses due to human error or theft:

o Monthly bank reconciliation

o Segregation of duties over cash handling

o Accountability for cash shortages

o Authorized cash disbursement

o Internal audits

Monthly Bank Reconciliation. Monthly bank reconciliation will help ensure that the amount of cash generated by an organization is consistent with bank records. In addition, an independent review of the reconciliation by management will provide an additional safeguard. Independent verification of bank reconciliation acts as a check to make sure the reconciliation was done properly and ensures there is no abuse of the organization’s cash.

Segregation of Duties Over Cash Handling. Every organization must make sure that there is adequate segregation of duties over cash handling. Separating the duties of cash receipts and disbursements prevents an individual from committing and concealing embezzlement.

Accountability for Cash Shortages. Management should hold supervisors accountable for cash shortages. If supervisors know that they’ll be held accountable for a cash shortage, they’ll be motivated to keep a close eye on how cash is used within their departments.

Authorized Cash Disbursement. Management should allow cash to be disbursed only through checks issued by authorized signers, which will provide a method for tracking cash usage. In addition, your organization should require signatures on all checks in order for them to be valid.

Internal Audits. Every organization should arrange to have internal audits conducted on a regular basis. Whether the auditors come from an internal audit staff or an outside auditing firm, auditing an organization’s accounting system can identify how effective and accurate the operation is and whether or not any improvements need to be made.

ESTABLISHING A QUICKBOOKS CONTROL ENVIRONMENT

QuickBooks allows more than one user to access company files. (Conceptually, an unlimited number of users may have access to the company’s data files, but only five users may work with the data at the same time.) When multiple users will have access to the company’s QuickBooks data files, it generally is necessary to create a control environment that protects the data from unauthorized use. For example, some users may not need access to sensitive payroll data, while others may not need access to accounts receivable and sales information.

One of the best ways to prevent errors when posting transactions in QuickBooks is to limit access to specified users. If passwords and access permissions are not assigned, users have unlimited access to all areas in QuickBooks. When setting up QuickBooks, one user should be designated as the QuickBooks Administrator.

The QuickBooks Administrator has unlimited access to all areas of QuickBooks and assigns passwords and access permissions to other users. The name and password for the QuickBooks Administrator can be set up by selecting “Set Up Users” from the “Company” menu. The QuickBooks Administrator must be set up before any other users can be set up. Although QuickBooks does not require the use of passwords, the QuickBooks Administrator should set up and use a password since anyone logging in to the company’s QuickBooks files as the administrator has full access to all areas in QuickBooks. After setting up a name and password, the QuickBooks Administrator should click the “Closing Date” button in the “User List” window and enter the date through which books are closed in the “Accounting” preferences dialog box. The administrator can also password-protect the closing date (requires single-user mode). When this feature is enabled, QuickBooks requires users to enter the password before they can make changes to periods that have been closed.

The QuickBooks Administrator is the only user who can:

o Set up other users.

o Change other users’ access permissions.

o Set up a company file using the “EasyStep Interview.”

o Change company information (such as company name, address, fiscal year, tax year, tax form, and federal identification number).

o Change company preferences.

o Condense data.

o Import and export data.

o Apply for QuickBooks Merchant Account Services.

Note: Since the QuickBooks Administrator has the ability to password-protect the entire company’s files, has access to all accounting functions, and assigns access to all other users, the company should carefully consider whom to select as administrator. The person selected should have an understanding of the importance of this position on the internal control of the company. Some companies designate the controller or Chief Financial Officer as the QuickBooks Administrator because those individuals normally do not have direct interaction with the software.

The QuickBooks Administrator can set up additional users and specify the areas to which each person has access. To do so, select “Company” from the menu bar and “Set Up Users.” Then click the “Add User” button in the “User List” window. Assign a user name and password for the new user. Even though QuickBooks does not require the use of passwords, each user should be set up with a password that must be used when logging in to the company’s QuickBooks file. (An unlimited number of users can be added, but only five can have access to the company’s data file at the same time.)

After setting up the user name and password, the administrator then specifies whether the user will have access to selected areas of QuickBooks or all areas of QuickBooks. The user should not be given access to all areas of QuickBooks since that permission essentially establishes a second administrator allowing users to access the following:

o Sales and accounts receivable.

o Purchases and accounts payable.

o Checking and credit cards.

o Inventory.

o Time tracking.

o Payroll and employees.

o Sensitive accounting activities such as bank transfers, general journal entries, and online banking.

o Sensitive financial reports.

o Changing or deleting transactions.

o Changing closed transactions.

Note: Even if users need access to most of the preceding areas, they should not be allowed to change closed transactions.

Rather than giving users access to all areas of QuickBooks, the QuickBooks Administrator should give users access to selected areas. In that case, the QuickBooks Administrator specifies whether the user should be given no access, full access, or selective access to each individual area listed in the preceding paragraph. If the user is given selective access in a particular area, the QuickBooks Administrator also must specify whether the user can (a) create transactions only, (b) create and print transactions and forms, or (c) create transactions and create reports.

Sensitive Accounting Activities. Users generally should not be given access to sensitive accounting activities. Such activities include:

o Maintaining the chart of accounts.

o Working in the account register for balance sheet accounts.

o Reconciling accounts.

o Making journal entries.

o Using the “Accountant’s Review.”

o Transferring funds between accounts.

o Using online banking.

o Creating budgets.

o Printing registers.

o Condensing data.

Even if users are given full or selective access to sensitive accounting activities, they cannot create financial reports (with the exception of the “Payroll Report”) or change or delete previously recorded transactions. Those permissions must be assigned separately, as discussed in the following paragraphs. The QuickBooks Administrator generally should be the only user with access to sensitive accounting activities.

Sensitive Financial Reports. Users generally should not be given access to sensitive financial reports (such as the balance sheet, profit and loss reports, budget reports, cash flow reports, income tax reports, and audit trail reports). That access allows users to create all reports and graphs available in QuickBooks. However, even users with access to reports cannot change or delete transactions included in the reports. That permission must be assigned separately, as discussed in the following paragraph. The QuickBooks Administrator generally should be the only user with access to sensitive financial reports.

Changing and Deleting Transactions. Even if QuickBooks users have full access in a particular area, they cannot change or delete transactions in that area unless they are given that permission in the “Changing or Deleting Transactions” window. For example, a user with full access in the sales and accounts receivable area cannot change invoices or sales receipts unless they are given permission to change or delete transactions. However, even if users do not have permission to change or delete transactions, they can change or delete transactions they entered in the current QuickBooks session so that quickly identified data entry errors can be corrected. Users that are given permission to change or delete transactions can alter transactions only in areas in which they have access. For example, users that have access to the inventory area but not to the payroll area cannot alter payroll transactions even if they have permission to change or delete transactions. The QuickBooks Administrator generally should be the only user with permission to change or delete historical transactions.

If a user is given permission to change or delete transactions in areas in which they have access, the “Changing or Deleting Transactions” window also asks whether the user should be able to change or delete transactions recorded before the closing date. The QuickBooks Administrator always should deny users access to such transactions by selecting “No” in response to that question. Even when “No” is selected, users can view prior-period transactions in QuickBooks areas to which they have access. If “Yes” is selected and the administrator sets a password, the user will be required to enter the password.

Viewing Data. QuickBooks allows the QuickBooks Administrator to limit a user’s access to creating sensitive financial reports or creating and printing sensitive reports. Companies can use this feature to allow the Controller, Chief Financial Officer, or another person independent of the accounting function the ability to oversee the accounting operations. Because many companies frequently have small accounting staffs, this increased oversight can mitigate some of the risk to the system of internal control created by having limited segregation of duties.

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Source by Leigh Ann

Views: 0

January 22, 2020
Addiction To Unrequited Love
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The Torchbearer – S/he will love me one day

It sounds silly for one to be addicted to unrequited love, but it can sometimes be the result of growing up in a household where love was either conditional or not consistent. As a child, the “torchbearer,” may have been always trying to win the love, praise or affection from a parent (or someone else influential) who was unavailable, abusive or failed to provide proper nurturing…. or the child could have witnessed one parent in a sort of unrequited love relationship with the other and could have taken that energy on. If it wasn’t an issue of childhood environment, then possibly some sort of other trauma occurred to upset the torchbearer’s self-esteem and their ability to feel safe receiving love. It can also result from a sudden and unexpected separation, betrayal, health, or appearance issue.

At an existential level, the torchbearer may have developed a belief that they are not worthy of love and they may find themselves attracted to love situations that seem to keep them stuck in this dynamic: loving someone, but not able to fully receive love back. Although the person feels unworthy of love on some level, often they know they are worthy on another level, which the torchbearer then may become confused as to why they stay addicted to an unavailable person. The relationship then becomes about fantasy, idealization, avoidance, or a love-hate relationship ensues where the addict both loves and disapproves of the object of their devotion.

According to love addiction expert Susan Peabody, the main categories of love addictions include:
- obsessed love addicts: obsess and can’t let go even if their partners are unavailable or abusive
- codependent love addiction: needy to please partner for sense of self
- narcissistic love addicts: take advantage of their partner and can act disinterested, selfish or abusive and yet still feel addicted to partner and can’t let go
- ambivalent love addicts: this category includes unrequited love addicts (also known as “torch-bearers”), saboteurs, seductive withholders, and romance addicts. The main goal through this kind of love addiction is the avoidance of true deep emotional intimacy and bonding. These addicts crave love and affection, but are afraid to get too close at the same time.
Unrequited love addicts are part of the category of Ambivalent Love Addicts. Susan Peabody was the first to create the term “Ambivalent Love Addiction”. Her book “Addiction to Love: Overcoming Obsession and Dependency in Relationships,” is an amazing book for anyone wishing to learn more about love addiction.

To be an ambivalent love addict, or torchbearer, means that one deeply craves love, intimacy, commitment, and unconditional love. However, at the same time, one has fears of relating deeply to another person. Such love addicts can end up pushing love away or holding it at a distance. Subconsciously, it can feel much safer for these individuals to love someone who isn’t fully there or who doesn’t want a full-on commitment. Picking an individual who is married, committed to another, distant, a player, a saboteur, or a sex addict may act to help the torchbearer avoid a true relationship. Some torchbearers end up addicted to friends or colleagues and hope the relationship will become something more.

With many of the torchbearers that I have read, I find there is usually an excuse to continue chasing the love interest. However, there is also always a counterproductive excuse for never letting the love interest know their real feelings. It is even possible that if the object of infatuation actually returned affection or expressed desire for commitment towards the love addict, the love addict might not crave the interest anymore. One popular excuse that I have heard reads something like: “getting what I wanted or asked for took too long, therefore I no longer trust the love interest anymore, so I no longer want a relationship.” Once the love interest gives up, separation anxiety sets in again. Why does this occur? An illusion has been broken and the person idolized has become more human and less of a challenge to the ego.

The torchbearer runs the risk that even if they obtain the object of their desire they may not achieve the closeness or intimacy they desire unless they change why they were addicted in the first place. Sometimes the addiction simply changes. An addict may transform from a torchbearer into a seductive withholder. They can even start becoming a codependent love addict if the once unrequited love relationship begins to become real.

So, how do you know if you are addicted to unrequited love?

What are the symptoms? The symptoms listed below are not comprehensive, but ones I typically see with clients (usually women):
- Do you obsess over or find yourself only attracted to love interests who are not available in some way or who are married, playing you, who are “just friends,” or have left you?
- Do you fear communication or to let the person know your interest in them, feelings, and other basic questions for fear of rejection or to keep the fantasy going? Or do you find yourself communicating but unable to accept a lack of response or a non-commital response without hoping if you wait long enough you will be wholly wanted?
- Do you suffer in silence while you hold adoration towards someone who doesn’t really know? Some unrequited love addicts pursue their interests opening and ardently, but others can hold torches for people who they will not let themselves get close to nor let themselves be revealed in any real way.
- Do you expect your love interest to be psychic/empathic and to just know and interpret your feelings and needs, even though there has been no grounded communication? Are you living out your relationship psychically or vicariously through “signs” or empathic feelings that the other person may be thinking about you, even if there is no contact?
- Do you find yourself always hoping and waiting for the other person to make an interest in you known?
- Can you never feel “close” in a real way to the person you are holding a torch for?
- Are you always living out the relationship in your head?
- Are you continually asking yourself many questions, wondering about the other person feelings and intentions (or potential future intentions) without ever grounding anything to test to see if any fantasies are real?
- Do you have other addictions, such as to sex, psychics, alcohol etc?
- Do you feel you cannot let go of the love interest even though it is not making you feel loved? Do feel powerless to stop at will.
- Is the preoccupation with this interest having a more negative affect on you spiritually, financially and other ways than positive? In the end, are you losing more than you gain?
- Do you have a history of being hurt or obsessing on lack of love, attention or approval by a parent or someone else influential in your earlier life?
- For those with less intense expressions of this addiction: are you confused why you only seem to attract or are attracted to unavailable people or people who are not 100% wanting a relationship? And with this, do you feel bored with people who are into you or once a relationship starts to develop? Does it seem that all the people who would be right and loving towards you, you cannot “fall in love” with?
If you have an “interest” that you crave but are afraid to reach out to in any real and genuine way for fear of rejection, then you might be addicted to unrequited love. You may also be addicted if there is an underlying knowledge that expressing your wants and needs would not be appropriate. I’ve talked to many clients who are totally engaged with these types of interests, sometimes even sexually. But, usually they know on some level there are certain things they cannot ask/dare put forward cause the relationship is casual though they want something more. Though the “craving” is not always required, this article is mostly written for the hard core unrequited love addict.

Here is an example of one kind of non-communicative unrequited love addict who does have some relationship and interaction with her love interest:

A woman starts to like an attractive man. They meet and there is some flirting — the man seems interested to the woman. Information is exchanged followed by mixed signals that mark the relationship. The woman starts obsessing and fantasizing about having a relationship with the man. However, the man won’t make a clear move and the woman ends up doing most of the contacting to keep interaction ongoing. The woman acts casual because she wants the man to make his interest known first. She is getting some cues of affection and indication of interest, but it’s kept superficial and she is always unsure. This goes on for some time, sometimes months, and she starts thinking “Does this guy really want a relationship or am I just casual or a friend?” Despite feeling a sense of unknowing and distress, the woman will never risk asking to find out. She starts asking advice from other friends who tell her to forget about the man, but she hangs on in hope he will ask for a real date or commitment or show he cares.

The man is simply not putting out vibe of wanting a full-on relationship. However, she starts to fantasize that maybe he is just scared, can’t communicate or is insecure. She fantasizes that he will start to be more demonstrative or want something more if she can just hang in or never upset the status quo. She even wonders, “should I say something or make a move”, but something inside is telling her it’s not safe to tell this person how she feels because they are not on the same page, so she withholds keeps holding a torch for this person. She finds out the man has started to pursue someone else and she feels upset and feels betrayed. But, still, she has never had clear indication they are in a “relationship.”

In the worst cases of unrequited love addiction I have seen, the client is addicted to psychics, using spell casters to cast spells to make their love more available, or are even asking for healing sessions on the person they are addicted to hoping healing something in their love interest will change the reality of what is going on.

What Can You Do If This Sounds Like You?

Often, I see two main themes running in these relationships: fear of true communication (or fear of accepting a communication or lack there of), and fear of vulnerability & rejection. Many times I also recommend torchbearers learn how to set boundaries and how to respect others boundaries. If the torchbearer is holding on waiting for a “sign” or demonstration from the love object, afraid of giving up, learning communication would help with getting out of fantasizing a relationship and making it more real. In the least, the torchbearer can get closure, if the love addict’s desires are not reciprocated.

Getting closure isn’t always an easy thing for a love addict. It is often considered to be a harsh rejection. Many frightened unrequited love addicts wish to avoid being hurt at all costs. However, with this cost, these love addicts avoid true intimacy and relationships.

Most unrequited love clients I work with have a shut down throat chakra. They may have been raised or learned through some experience that expressing feelings or needs is a burden on others, a sign of weakness, inferiority or something to be afraid of. Codependent types are afraid to cause any sort of confrontation or rejection for themselves. However, the only way out is through. The crux is that this dynamic is used to avoid another hurt or rejection and this continues the cycle of avoiding true commitment, intimacy and bonding.

Step 1: Communication With Yourself

The first step is for the torchbearers to ask themselves what they truly want from a relationship. What is their vision of how they want to be loved and committed to? This step may be one of the hardest. The unrequited love addict may be so used to avoiding confrontation that asking them to figure out what they want and need seems strange. Torchbearers ask themselves “How do I get someone who doesn’t care to do so? How can I be better? More lovable?” Simply leaving an unrequited love may not solve the problem either. It may just transfer the love addiction from one of pursuing the unrequited love interest to holding a torch and suffering in silence while pining after the loss. They may remain stuck, wondering if maybe this person is still missing them or thinking of them and it gives them hope for reconciliation.

Step 2: Communication With Your Love Interest

If communication is possible to ask for closure, this is the next step. I recommend asking in direct ways and not just looking for “signs.” State what you want out of love and a relationship, and ask the object of your affection if they feel they will ever be able to give it. Risk hearing the truth and risk rejection. This helps break the fantasy and though may be incredibly painful, it is the next step towards risking true intimacy and attracting the right relationship and breaking through all the fears that prevent it from coming. The whole idea of love addiction is the belief that without love one is nothing. If one can risk losing love and still see themselves as whole, then one can start going into relationships with sense of self as a sole identity which another can complement, rather than feeling another will complete them.

Fear of intimacy (getting to know someone deeply), commitment, communication, rejection, boundaries, and confrontation needs to be challenged. Love addicts can also seem like perpetual victims or trauma junkies. So healing the need to be a victim is key too.

Taking on the challenge of learning to set boundaries, risk confrontation and rejection, to communicate ones wants and needs (and listening to another’s – which this might be the real fear) may seem overwhelming. But, it is the only way out. All of this should be targeted, in addition to working on childhood issues, which implanted some of these fears and patterns.

Step 3: Accepting What Is Communicated Back or Any Lack Of A Response

Sometimes, the love addict at this stage may have been totally clear with their love interest what they want and they still feeling or receiving mixed signals. The person of their infatuation may be ambivalent, stringing them along, or afraid to just be honest and give them the closure they need. Sometimes there may be a lack of response — ie: an email is sent to the love object who appears to be avoiding sending a response back. In these cases, aim for setting a boundary for yourself on how long you will wait for what you need and stick to it. Be willing to recognize when you need to either end a relationship or at least bring it down to a more casual and detached level while you pursue other options.

For those who find they are always making clear what they want and are still waiting to receive it or feeling unheard, the lesson may be in knowing when its time to stop voicing your needs and wants realizing they will not be met or cared for. Just affirm to yourself as much as you can that you can and are willing to find someone who can meet your wants and needs.

Step 4: Changing and Challenging One’s Views on Love

I also recommend changing how one views love. There is something self-absorbed in all the withholding and holding on. It is focused on fear and self-protection instead of love or generosity and true interest in another person and their needs and feelings. Many love addicts actually fool themselves into thinking their co-dependence is proof that they are being more loving than anything else. However, love is about extending and exposing oneself in the face of rejection and providing a safe and open place for someone else to extend and expose themselves. Love is not manipulative, wanting to change people or situations or waiting for such situations or people to change.

Love is not about being a martyr either. If you can’t take a risk to know anyone else or have them tell you their wants and needs, or accept or listen when they are not on the same page, how can you expect someone to care and listen concerning your own wants and needs?

Not all unrequited love addicts are afraid to state their wants, needs, and boundaries. But, often what can happen is the torchbearer is always stating needs and boundaries and they are not listening to what is being conveyed back. They keep hoping the love object will change, mature, or outgrow his detached stance.

A Few Self-Help Healing Tools

While one can always benefit from professional therapies, coaching, and alternative healing sessions geared towards transmuting thought patterns, there are a few healing tools that can be used to assist recovery from love addictions (feel free to look for others as I only mention a few here).

If one has ever used “flower essences” before (a form of homeopathy), Australian Bush Flower Essences (www.abfeusa.com for more information) has a “Relationship Essence” which contains the following:
- Boab: helps bring change, helps clears negative core patterns that are rooted in family and which are inherited. Can also help clear negative lines of karma that exist between individuals and past life influence.
- Bluebell: is for those who cut themselves off from their feelings and helps to open the heart and to disolve greed and rigidity. Emotions are present but withheld and there is even fear of expressing positive emotions such as joy and love, etc through operation of fear that there is just not enough and they can’t survive if they let go of all they hold onto.
- Bottlebrush: helps one to resolve mother issues and helps one embrace major life changes. It brushes away the past allowing individuals to move on and go forward.
- Bush Gardenia: helps one to renew passion and interest in relationships. Helps with intimacy, and resolving where there is too much self-interest or lack of awareness in a partnership.
- Dagger Hakea: Is for helping on to release resentments, bitterness and grudges.
- Flannel Flower: is for those who fear emotional or physical intimacy, getting too close and who have a hard time maintaining personal boundaries. Helps one to garner trust to express ones innermost feelings.
- Red Helmet Orchid: Helps for resolving father issues, probelms with confrontation or authority.
- Red Suva Frangipani: Is for the rocky relationship that is challenged and is also for resolving deep sense of loss and sadness when a relationship is in trouble or has ended. Helps to heal that feeling of Wedding Bush: Is for issues with commitment to a relationship, job, goal etc. It can be used for individuals who tend to flit from one relationship to another, or for those who leave relationships when the crush phase or initial attraction has diminished.
A book I highly recommend is Addiction to Love: Overcoming Obsession and Dependency in Relationships by Susan Peabody (co-founder of LAA).

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is another tool that can help with love addictions. EFT can be easy to learn for free from demonstrations on YouTube or free downloads on various sites.

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Source by Mandy Peterson

Views: 0
January 22, 2020
My Husband Left Because He Needs Space – But I Love Him and Want Him to Come Home, What Should I Do?

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I recently heard from a wife who was quite lonely and devastated. Last week, her husband had decided that he “needed some space,” and he packed his bags and left the home. He had called a few times during his absence, but he wouldn’t give the wife any specifics about how long he expected to be gone and when (or if) he was coming back. The wife regretted how they had left things. They had argued and she had said some things that she definitely didn’t mean while the husband had said some heartless things to her as well.

So, she had no idea where she stood or where the marriage was headed. And, even though she was angry at the husband for leaving her and for the things that she said, she knew that she still loved him and she wanted for him to come home as soon as possible. She did not want for this one impulsive event to mean the end of her marriage. But she didn’t know how to change the path that they seemed to be on. And, every time she tried to broach this subject with her husband and express her feelings to him, he became flustered and abruptly ended the conversation.

So, it was clear to the wife that the topic was, at least for now, off limits. And, this left her confused as what she should do. She worried that if she just dropped the topic and backed off altogether, then her husband might just continue to drift away and not come home. But, she didn’t want to continue to push him further away.

Actually, from my own experience and research, I believe that there is a happy medium here and a tactic that usually brings about the best outcome for everyone concerned. It would also allow for the wife to keep her self respect intact and to emerge in a position of strength rather than one of weakness.

Even Though You Want Him Home, Try Not To Come On Too Strongly: Obviously, if the wife had her way, the husband would come home full of love and apologies that very evening. But, it was pretty clear that this wasn’t likely. The husband had been calling less and less and seemed more and more annoyed. Believe it or not, you will usually get better results and a better response from him if you let him come to you rather than pushing yourself onto him when he is not receptive to this.

When I tell women this they will often respond with something like: “well, if I wait for him to pursue me or to come around, I may be waiting around forever. I can’t risk it. What if the saying ‘out of sight out of mind’ is true? What if I give him this space and he doesn’t ever come back to me?”

Here’s what you might want to consider. He has already left. You can not turn back time and keep this from happening. But, what you can control is how you react right now. You can control how you present yourself right now and this is likely going to influence his perceptions of what he really wants. And, his perceptions aren’t likely to be good if you push when he’s not receptive or focus on the negative and how miserable you are without him.

A desperate woman who is nagging, debating, or falling apart is not likely to be perceived as attractive. I don’t mean to be cruel about this, but my conversations with men who visit my blog indicate to me that, unfortunately, this is just the way that it is.

Presenting Yourself As The Woman That You Know He Really Wants: Many women in this situation tell me that they feel like they are no longer who or what their husband wants. You mustn’t think this way. Here’s what you have likely forgotten. He has already chosen you once. You’ve already proven that you have the attributes that he values the most. He was already so crazy about you that he married you.

Yes, things have started to go wrong and your life might be off track. But, that doesn’t mean that you can’t fix it. You know what he loves about you. Make sure he sees these things without your having to over reach for them. Wait until he is more receptive and then give him small doses of who you know he loves very much. Always keep things light hearted and allow for him to see the woman that he has been missing.

Even if you feel frightened, unsure, and insecure, save these emotions for trusted girlfriends and family members because it is so important that you try to keep all of the perceptions as positive as you can right now. Make sure that he thinks you aren’t moping around the house praying for his return. Give the impression that you’re confident that if you can gradually improve things, he will come back willingly because you are meant to be together. If you can pull this off, you’ll often find that he’s becoming more and more receptive to you and to the idea of coming home.

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Source by Leslie Cane

Views: 0

January 16, 2020
How to Win Consistently at Trading Forex

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Trading Forex is a fantastic career or hobby, but unless you are winning consistently then it can be a short lived career or an expensive hobby. The elation of a win is often followed by several losses if you don’t have a serious approach to your money management strategy and control of your emotions. In this article we are going to establish a money management and psychological strategy that will help you win consistently at trading Forex.

First of all let us look at the trade settings themselves. Now this article is not to define a winning strategy; but to show you that even a strategy that only wins 50% of the time can make consistent returns. You may already have a winning strategy but poor money and psychological management.

It is important to aim for a 3:1 risk reward ratio. In simple terms; you need to look for trades that can offer you 3 times the return of the potential loss. If you adopt this approach then you only need to win 50% of the time because your wins out way the losses by 3 times. Once you master this rule you are well on your way to a winning strategy.

Research your trades well and do not jump into the markets without doing your analysis whether that is fundamental or technical. If you can stick to these rules then you are half way to winning the psychological battle as well.

The biggest issue traders face is getting into trades too early because they think they are going to miss the trade or too late because they were scared to pull the trigger. Leaving a trade too early because they believe it is about to turn against them, only to later watch it hit their, would be, take profit level. Or, equally as common, they let the trade run and run expecting more and more profit only to let all the profit get sucked away in a reversal. There is an old saying amongst successful traders “plan your trade and trade your plan. That is exactly what you should do.

Don not let your emotions let you take profit early if that was not your original plan. Make sure you plan for the trade turning before your profit level and have a preset plan to take profit. A solid plan is to take profit if the trade has reached 90% of the target and is showing signs of reversal. If you have your stop loss set correctly from your original analysis do not extend it as you are compromising your 3:1 risk reward ratio. Keeping these rules in min is the first step to winning consistently at Forex trading.

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Source by Adam Woods

Views: 0

January 15, 2020
Benefits Of A Healthy Lifestyle

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Here are 8 benefits of a healthy lifestyle.

This Article is written to reach the public with a simple and clear method to point out and to reap the benefits of a healthy lifestyle while reducing the risks of chronic diseases such as diabetes.

With the increased understanding of our bodies that we have gained from science over the past few decades, the benefits of a healthy lifestyle are becoming more apparent, along with the reasons why we should detoxify the body at least once a year to remove harmful bacteria, and even worms, from our digestive system. For people of all ages, weights, and abilities the benefits of a healthy lifestyle are endless. But for now let’s look at eight simple benefits of a healthy lifestyle.

1. Your Health:

Good Health is not something that you buy from a drug store or a department store, but can be achieved by practicing collective patterns of health-related behavior, based on choices made from available options. Following this logic, if you wish to realize the benefits of a healthy lifestyle, you have to repeat some healthy pattern as a part of your daily or weekly activities, some patterns like eating right and exercising. Other benefits includes: Reduced health care costs, reduced illness and injuries, reduced doctors visit, Keeps you employed and improved employee/employer relations.

2. Weight:

Managing your weight is the key to attaining all of the health benefits of a Healthy Lifestyle. A weight reduction of just 10 percent will significantly reduce risk of heart disease and other obesity-related illnesses. Obesity/overweight is the second leading contributing factor to many childhood diseases such as orthopedic disorders, sleep apnea, type II diabetes mellitus, asthma, high blood pressure and cholesterol, skin disorders, emotional and psychosocial problems (Spigel, 2002), and many more. Weight-bearing exercise such as walking and strength training helps slow the onset of and/or prevent osteoporosis and some research shows that participating in such activities can actually build bone density and begin to reverse the disease. Other benefits are: Weight reduction, reduced tension and stress, improved well-being, Enhanced self-image and self-esteem and improved physical function.

3. Exercise:

Although drugs alone can often bring cholesterol down to normal levels, diet and exercise provide benefits that drugs don’t. They’ll lower blood pressure, reduce weight, and lower the risk of developing diabetes. A sedentary lifestyle is a dangerous risk factor for disease. Exercise and a healthy diet helps the body use insulin more efficiently and can help control, alleviate and prevent many diseases. Exercise, cessation of tobacco consumption, eating a high-fiber, low-fat diet, controlling body weight, and learning to cope with stress, reduce the risk of heart disease.

4. Medical:

We all want a trim and have healthy body for a variety of aesthetic, social and medical reasons. Healthy living is truly the best medicine. In a study conducted by Tufts University at the New England Medical Center, among patients with cardiovascular disease, an exercise program was shown to significantly reduce LDL cholesterol and other risk factors beyond what’s provided by drug therapy. Even modest weight loss can help reduce medical and pharmacy costs, help avoid bariatric surgery, and co-morbidities such as asthma, hypertension, and diabetes.

5. Wellness:

Wellness is about being comfortable in your space: your body, your attitude, and your environment. A healthy lifestyle can greatly increase a person’s longevity. And even though catching something contagious like a cold or flu is sometimes unavoidable, having the wisdom that feeling healthy is a better way to live should have you asking yourself why you are not taking action to live each day as beneficially as possible. The issue with a lot of people nowadays is that they are so busy working and/or taking care of everyone around them, that they neglect their own health and wellness. Make sure your heart is healthy and your bones are strong and Keep it that way to see the benefits of a healthy lifestyle.

6. Care:

The best way to ensure good health is by taking care of yourself. The Care stakes are high but the potential rewards are great-preventing premature death, unnecessary illness, and disability, controlling health care cost, and maintaining a high quality of life into old age. With a healthy lifestyle, you are who you are and you don’t have to be self-conscious about those things that you otherwise would be if you didn’t care about your lifestyle

7. Control:

With a healthy lifestyle, you have more control of your life as you work with your body against those aspects of living which may work to hold you back if you would let them. With a healthy lifestyle, you have control over your sleep patterns so that you feel generally well rested throughout the day. With a healthy lifestyle, everything works together to help other aspects of your lifestyle make sense and benefit you. Science has proven that healthy weight loss, healthy eating and fitness routines make dramatic improvements in health, and help control common chronic illnesses like high cholesterol, high blood pressure, diabetes, stress, and general lack of stamina.

8. Strength:

Another benefit of a healthy lifestyle is a steady flow of stamina and strength; you can perform activities and exercises that will enhance your flexibility. With a healthy lifestyle, you have a balanced and varied diet that provides your body its needed nutrients and energy as well. You have strength to train to help build the muscle that supports the bones and joints; therefore decreasing the risk of falls and fractures. Cardiovascular exercise, also known as aerobic exercise, strengthens the heart muscle, therefore increases the heart’s efficiency. As we age, our bones biologically begin to lose mass and strength. Weight-bearing exercise such as walking and strength training helps slow the onset of and/or prevent osteoporosis and some research shows that participating in such activities can actually build bone density and begin to reverse the disease.

The good news is you don’t have to train like an Olympic athlete to enjoy the benefits of a healthy lifestyle. The secret and logic are repeating a chosen healthy pattern as a part of your daily or weekly activities. We hope that this will get you to a healthy lifestyle if you are not there already. A healthy lifestyle is a way of life.

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Source by Fortune Ezeoha

Views: 0

January 13, 2020
What Do You Think When You Hear The Word Success?

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Success… It is repetitious… It is as easy as following proven steps… No different from K-12… Only difference is your education is put to the side and the knowledge of life becomes self-driven with determination. You become a part of your inner being. The old ignorant self of you begins to diminish and becomes a past erased. It becomes a tool instead of an excuse. You become a product of your environment in any circle you choose to be in…

So should you choose to be successful, you only fraternize with like-minded people who are making a move forward. With an idea, faith, or negative changing positives. Your world and how you choose to live it is in YOUR hands. The way you choose to make your bed in the morning is how you lay in it.

Success… It is something that is self-attainable through being involved with your own kind to build a strong case or strong foundation for which the environment you live in.

Success… It is the reaction after you fail. Aaliyah said it best, “If at first you don’t succeed. Dust yourself off and try again.” An inspirational song with a meaningful message. It is what I call the dreamer anthem. Humans make mistakes or take wrong turns in life. It is how they articulate a new path and trying to distinguish a stop sign from a freeway.

Let’s face it; it’s easier to get on the freeway to get somewhere. More gas for your mile and more time spent doing other things.

The back roads are for leisure.

You have to be willing to leverage you. Leverage the work with a team as a collective energy.

Success… It is a building. It can be your cardboard box, your cottage or mansion. Depending on your goals and how you obtain the building materials to house your mission.

I have been reading, The 250 Personal Finance Questions Everyone Should Ask, the author Peter Sander types the question, “What personal character traits are required for financial success?” Then he goes on to mention a few simple steps. Awareness is a key component to keeping track of your current finances. Step two, have the Commitment to carry out the plan that you put in place. Finally, in step three he mentions Control, the most important tool because temptations are the devil (Bobby Bouchey voice)… LOL! In a sentence or two he mentions how you have to look at the bigger picture of your plan.

One powerful book to sit down and read.

Success… It has a following. It is your Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram to life. Of course it filters out the nonsense. You can’t bring all of Yo momma this and into your life but, the concept is merely a metaphor. People who follow you they follow you because they are attracted to your content. You become a brand. You have the appearance of success. Your following goes where you go.

Lastly, Success… It is a lifestyle. It’s how you wake up in the morning. It is the way you stare at yourself in the mirror. It is type of food that your body takes in. It is the way you risk your life for happiness. You can be anything you want to be. You have to make the decision for YOU. Everything in life starts with you. “Life is what you make it.” So live in 2013 making your actions ring and you will be rewarded with a feeling that can’t be replaced by money any day. I’m going to end this with a great quote.

“Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it. “

-Bruce Le

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Source by Tyshaun M Taylor

Views: 0

January 13, 2020