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Why Healing Requires Integrating Our Unconscious Experiences Into The Wholeness Of Our Being
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Nurture The Deepest Part Of Your Core Nature

Healing involves integrating our fragmented parts into the entirety of our being. However, the paradox is: we are not broken but merely disassociated from our wholeness. The term healing denotes restoring what is not functioning as it is intended. When we are caught up in the distorted beliefs about ourselves, it leads to separation or what we consider being broken. In fact, it is merely being separated from the completeness of our true nature. Think in terms of a hologram where the whole is contained in every part. This was an idea espoused by the late theoretical physicist David Bohm who believed the universe is a solid and brilliant hologram. He recognized how each part of our physical reality contained information about the whole. Therefore, our thoughts, emotions, soul and physical body are composed of our soul nature.

How does this idea appeal to you? Are you comfortable knowing whilst you were born whole and pure, through your beliefs, thoughts and experiences it leads to separation? I'm not suggesting it is entirely your fault because we are all bound to experience this. It is said, while our painful experiences are not our fault, healing the pain is our responsibility. Although there's an element of truth to it, we ought to remember there is nothing to heal other than to attend to our unconscious memories in order to return to wholeness. By attending to these aspects, we integrate our known sense of separateness. Release and Renew is a mantra I often repeat in my writing when I discuss healing and emotions. In doing so, we release that which is not conducive to the present moment. Similarly, we renew our commitment to nurture ourselves by connecting with our core emotions. The integration I speak of is an association with our soul nature, which at its essence is pure, whole and knows nothing of separateness or brokenness. It is the egoic mind which disconnects us from our spiritual self to create two identities ie the darkness and the light.

How To Heal Your Fragmented Parts

I am drawn to a passage by the South African author Michael Brown, who writes in The Presence Process : "I dropped my use of the word" heal "because of its connotation that something was wrong and had to be fixed. using the word "integrate," which to me meant there was a part of my experience that was unconscious- a part of my experience that I resisted, controlled, and sedated-which was asking to be incorporated into the whole.Whereas healing felt like I was excluding something from my experience, integration felt like I was embracing everything I experienced . " I believe Brown makes two important points here: we mustn't resist nor control the past, but perceive them as the whole of our life's experience. Second, integration means to embrace or at the very least acknowledge everything that happened to us. Perhaps not right away, but when we are ready to make peace with the past.

What are your thoughts about this? I realize you may have questions related to your personal experiences. Whilst I am not present to answer them, I assure you trying to make sense of them consciously is a healing process rather than an integration process. It is what author Dr. Mario Martinez means when he writes in The MindBody Code: How to Change the Beliefs that Limit Your Health, Longevity, and Success : "The true agents of change are elevated cognitions and exalted emotions. These agents of change provide sustain transformation; in fact, they have triumphed over the greatest infamies and darkest periods in our human journey. " It does little good to dwell on why the past took place as it did. Instead, we ought to turn the tables and consider the following questions as a basis for self-enquiry. Instead of trying to make sense of the past which keeps us trapped replaying painful memories, we identify how the experiences served us.
1. How can I use the past to facilitate my greater growth?
2. In what ways can I use my emotional wounds to bring peace and love to the part of me that is pure and whole?
3. How can I integrate my sense of separateness into the wholeness of my being?
4. Whom do I need to become and let go of to achieve this inner state?
Once we can perceive the pain of the past through the lens of: compassion, forgiveness, peace and love we heal our fragmented parts. It may involve deep exploration into ourselves with or without the guidance of a trained therapist. Considering this, I'd like you to spend the following week journaling your answers to the four questions above. Call it a remote coaching session if you like. Write what comes to mind even if it involves images or symbols. Similarly, pay attention to your dreams via the symbols that appear. Note how you feel within the dream and upon waking. Look for messages in your waking life in the form of people, places and situations that cause you unrest. This is your soul guiding you towards integration. Ultimately, to heal ourselves we must be willing to integrate the pain of the past, so healing happens naturally as nature intended it to.

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Source by Tony Fahkry

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November 10, 2022
Problems Encountered by Nigerian Entrepreneur and Possible Solutions

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The success enjoyed by most industrialized countries can be attributed to the role played by technological innovation and entrepreneurship, both of which continue to drive their economies today. These two factors are seen as key components for the industrialization and development of African countries. The Nigerian government has recognized this fact and has taken measures aimed at promoting and cultivating the entrepreneurial culture in our country. Through the Nigerian Investing Commission (NIC), our government has in the past introduced a policy that required university students regardless of their area of study to take courses in entrepreneurship. While our government is putting extra effort in promoting entrepreneurship in Nigeria, there are still a number of problems that a Nigerian Entrepreneur faces. Below are some of the problems encountered and possible solutions.

* Diversifying the Economy

Though our country’s economy has over the last couple of decades relied heavily on its oil production, we must find ways to diversify our economy and avoid the over reliance on oil. Like other developing countries, Nigeria is facing an increase in its unemployment rate that is now at 6 % and is on the increase, with many graduates finding it hard to get jobs while most of those who get jobs are underemployed. This coupled with the global financial crisis in which massive numbers of employees are being laid off; entrepreneurship is seen as an essential key if we want our country to achieve its ambition of being an industrialized nation by the year 2020.

* Unfriendly Business Climate

Being an entrepreneur in Nigeria requires great determination as practicing and potential business owners are faced with countless challenges. Nigerian’s business climate should be made welcoming to those in the Micro, Small and Medium Enterprises (MSMEs). The role played by these MSMEs should not be underestimated since majority of the thriving businesses fall in this category and for us to achieve our goals, adequate attention and support must be directed towards these institutions. To be able to help and protect entrepreneurs, we must first have a clear idea of the challenges facing our entrepreneurs in their pursuit of making Nigeria a prosperous country.

* Lack of Credit Facilities

Potential Nigeria entrepreneurs go through many hardships when trying to access credit for their businesses. Though there is a wide range of financial institutions that offer business loans, they usually charge high interest rates deterring aspiring entrepreneurs. For instance, major banks have pegged their lending rates to as much a 28% deterring potential entrepreneurs who are mostly low income earners. Other obstacles faced by our entrepreneurs include severe collateral conditions set by banks and other lending institutions. Though our government through the Central Bank and the Banker’s Committee came up with guidelines requiring banks to set aside 10% of their profits for funding MSMEs, majority of these banks have been reluctant to do so. This has led to the emergence of micro-finance institutions which though helpful are not sufficient for meeting the financial requirements.

* Multiple Taxation

One other sensitive challenge that is encountered by majority of Nigerian entrepreneurs is multiple taxation. Although we have a responsibility of funding the government through paying taxes, most of the taxes charged on entrepreneurs are not lawful and have the effect of increasing the cost of doing business. Although Nigeria’s Companies Income Tax Act (CITA) has approved only 39 taxes and levies, there are over 500 various levies and taxes that are imposed by state and local government agents. These taxes are questionable and in the case where they are genuine, they are mostly duplicated and this has the effect of increasing the cost of doing business.

* Poor State of the Country’s Infrastructure

The state of our infrastructure can be deemed to be a nightmare to both entrepreneurs and the rest of the country’s population. With the existing infrastructure deteriorating and in some places it is non-existent; the cost of doing business has tremendously gone up. The state of the country’s road network makes it hard for entrepreneurs in the agricultural sector to transport harvested produce from farms to processing factories. According to a report released by the World Bank, Nigeria’s pace of socioeconomic development and growth is way below what we can achieve. This is mostly because of the erratic supply of electricity which has negatively affected many businesses. The outcome of power problems has prompted entrepreneurs to generate power through expensive ways that have in turn increased their production costs and made their products uncompetitive due to high prices. Our government should put policies in place to perk up Nigeria’s infrastructure so as to promote successful entrepreneurship.

* Failure to Adapt to the Changing Business Environment

Majority of those who venture into MSMEs (Micro, Small and Medium Enterprises) do so because of their need to make money and in almost all cases, such entrepreneurs lack relevant and adequate information about the businesses they engage in. In the event where problems arise, most of these business owners lack sufficient problem solving skills and in the end they find it hard to survive. With the telecommunications sector having grown by about 206.5 % between 2002 and 2004 and is continually expanding, Nigeria has become one of the fastest growing ICT market not only in Africa but also worldwide. This presents a challenge to entrepreneurs who have not embraced technology, and who are now finding it hard to remain relevant in the competitive business environment. For existing and potential MSMEs to survive and be relevant, we must adapt to the changing business environment and embrace technology.

* Addressing the Challenges

Solving the problems encountered requires a combined effort by both the entrepreneur and all concerned stakeholders. As Small and medium business owners, we need to increase our knowledge and skills of the market by acquiring relevant and up to date education particularly in your area of business. Our entrepreneurs need to collect information about their target market by seeking help from consultants and professionals who have experience in the particular market.

One strategy that can be used by our small and medium entrepreneurs to remain relevant and competitive in today’s market is to come up with fresh and creative ideas of doing business. Due to the increase in technology, business is fast changing, thus our MSMEs need to constantly re-invent the way they do business.

There is a great need of creating a strong link between MSMEs and supporting institutions if Nigeria is to fully benefit from such businesses. Though some financial institutions are still reluctant to provide financial assistance to MSMEs, there are some that give out loans at reasonable rates provided the business sounds viable. The key challenge is for our entrepreneurs to prepare sound business proposals. For our country to achieve its goals and stop relying on oil alone, we need to focus much attention needs on the private sector and our government must create a conducive atmosphere for such businesses to thrive and drive the country towards economic prosperity.

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Source by Peter O Osalor

Views: 0

November 9, 2022
Start Healing Your Grief & Sorrow

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How do you start healing your grief and sorrow? What brings you joy when grief is your circumstance?

“What are the proper grounds for joy? Is it circumstance which will determine the stature of my spirit?

Ah, no. It is choice. It is always a choice – in the face of any event – for joy.”

~ Mary Anne Radmacher

There are three steps you can choose to follow to start healing and find more joy:

1-Make A Healing Choice

Trying to Handle your tremendous grief and loss may result in a great deficiency in clarity, hope and joy. Many solutions may have passed through your mind. Also, you may have cried out to God. In due course you might have heard from Him. The message you could have received was: “I am not wanting to harm or punish you – but to help you.” God is just but sometimes men and life are unjust. Human unhappiness is ordinary life in its natural course. Each grieving experience is personal and unique. Do you want hope, happiness and wholeness again? If you do, you have a responsibility to keep going and try to find essential solutions to stop grieving and start healing. Otherwise grief is lasting, not reconciled and your life remains not rehabilitated forever. Forever is a long time!

“You do have a power over your body, your life, your future. Call it prayer, spiritual healing, intention, or law of attraction, the power is there for you to access.” ~ Posted by Jonathan Huie

Undiscovered, often never used before, perhaps not ever needed before now, is an inner power for which you can dig deeply of critical personal empowerment.

“Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and cheer and give strength to the body and soul.”

~ John Muir

Honor who you are. Gather strength from life’s thunder clouds. Dissolve grief sorrow and loss struggles one by one. Embrace and seek solitude in the arms of the spirit. How you face the trials of life is always a choice.

2-Choose A Life Like A Box Of Chocolates

“The movie character Forrest Gump describing life as being “like a box of chocolates,” is such a positive upbeat way of characterizing the uncertainty of life. I have no idea what life will give me next, but whatever it is, it will be sweet.”

~ the movie Forrest Gump

Especially during times of immense grieving, you need to be alert and notice what you want might sneak in your back door unobserved.

“Faith means living with uncertainty – feeling your way through life, letting your heart guide you like a lantern in the dark.”

~ Dan Millman

Personally, I prefer dark chocolate with pecans in my box of life’s challenging uncertain journey. Looking for the sweetness in your healing uncertainty and letting your heart of hope be your lantern in the dark is essential.

3-You Must Do

“You must do the things you think you cannot do.”

– Eleanor Roosevelt

After you think you have done all you can do to stop grieving and start healing there is always more you can do. You must hunger for new beneficial solutions. Think about it – have you hungered and thirsted after key healing steps?

“Courage and perseverance have a magical talisman, before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish into air.”

~ John Quincy Adams

As you push forward with mighty thrusts of healing energy your abilities to reconcile your grief and loss will be enhanced greatly.

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Source by Duane Marchant

Views: 0

July 29, 2022
Love As an Emotion

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I am now talking to the male part of any relationship because the male is normally the leader in any relationship. So, men, what will happen if your love for your wife or girlfriend relied on your emotions, or on your feelings? Today, you could cherish her, caress her, care for her, hug and kiss her. Tomorrow, you might feel totally different. You might slap her around a bit, shout and scream at her, ignore her, deride her. Because that is exactly what feelings are all about. Emotions play games on your feelings all the time. And the game changes every day, every minute. Think now of how confusing for the poor lady you have as a girlfriend or wife. She wants your attention, she says she loves you and has chosen you to be her mate, friend, and husband, whatever. But she is afraid of you because you are so much stronger as her, and she knows at any time you could burst into one of your tirades with disastrous consequences for her. Maybe a broken nose, a black eye, cracked ribs. Men who do this to any woman should be ashamed of themselves.

Real adult love is more than just a feeling. It means caring even when you do not feel like caring. It means spending time with your spouse when you prefer watching an important game on the telly. It also means nursing her when she feels ill and spending time with her when you prefer spending time with your friends. Love is taking responsibility for others and setting their needs and desires above yours. Love is also consistent with your feelings and it does not change every day. Love is not rude or harsh with your spouse, and respects her as the weaker member of your relationship.

I guess what I really want to say about being in a relationship where emotions and feelings is the basis of your relationship, and then you need to think long and hard about this. To rely on feelings is immature and stupidity, you just cannot rely on it. Do you really want to have a relationship with this woman? Tomorrow you might prefer spending time with your friends. Or for that matter, some other woman. So, if you decide no, I do not want to spend so much time with this woman, and then tell her that so that she could understand where she stands. She might feel hurt now, but in the end, she will at least know where she stands with you. And both of you could move on with your lives.

There are so many examples I can give on real love. But one thing I will say about this. Real love is taking responsibility of the opposite gender. Today you say you love her, but she will have the assurance that regardless of how you feel, tomorrow you would love just as much. Do not rely on your feelings of love for today, tomorrow it might be different.

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Source by Rodney Evan Bentley

Views: 0

July 26, 2022
Am I Ordained To Marry?

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One common question people ask us during counseling is whether they are ordained to marry or not. Few weeks ago, a sister walked up to me to ask if she was ordained to marry or not. I asked why she thought so. She said, her pastor taught them that it is written in Matthew 19:12 that some people were made to be eunuchs and therefore, not everyone is expected to marry. And now she was worried because of the series of disappointments she had experienced in her relationships. When I asked her whether they were equally taught how to differentiate between both groups she said that was why she came to ask me. I said she should have gone to her pastor to ask but she said she would not because they were more interested in how many souls they had won to Christ than their marital plans.

Her vehement refusal to go to her pastor for counsel was a clear indication that she had gone through some elements of frustration. I don’t know how many people are in the same situation today. All I know is that someone will be free from this bondage today.

Before I address the core issue, let me tell you that Christianity is a balanced relationship. The same God that says he that wins a soul is wise also says marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral, (Hebrew 13:4 NIV). The practice of holding back mature adults in church from marriage because you don’t want to lose them to other churches or distract them from actively engaging in church growth is unbalanced and unhealthy for the growth you desire. Marriage is an honor before God. It brings glory to God. Anyone that desires to marry should be encouraged before they begin to defy themselves right under your pulpit.

My counsel is that while encouraging them to continue winning souls they should also be counseled on the right way to find the right kind of spouse and the right way to marry. Teach them to let their marriage become a plus to the church instead of minus. If you alone could chase one thousand souls, let you and your spouse join in marriage to chase after ten thousand souls.

Matthew 19:12 says: ” For there are some eunuchs, who were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, who were made eunuchs of men; and there are eunuchs, who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it let him receive it.”

The above scripture clearly defines the three categories of eunuchs. Our point of emphasis here shall be on those born eunuchs from their mothers’ womb. The other two are those forced into it and those that became so by their choice.

When God created man in His image and likeness, He decreed that he should go into the world and multiply. That declaration is for you and me. The only approved way to achieve this multiplication is to marry legally and keep the matrimonial bed holy. You don’t need an angel to whisper into your ears that it is time to marry. The rules are there in the bible. That is not our focus for today anyway.

Take example from Abraham, the father of faith. He didn’t need any prophecy to discern whether his son Isaac, needed a wife or not. All he needed was simple wisdom drawn from the Word of God. God told him during his call that through him the earth shall be populated with His new generation of children. He settled it in his mind to get a wife for Isaac to make that calling and purpose come to fruition. At the appointed time, he sent his servant, Eleazar to go to his kindred to get a wife for Isaac. You know the rest of the story in Genesis chapter twenty-four.

God designed man with all the features required to perform all that He wants him to do on earth in the same way a manufacturer will not put his products in the market place without the inbuilt features to function. Signs of puberty, sexual emotions and strong attraction towards the opposite sex are some indicators that you are ordained to marry. When His due season is near, He begins to impress His desires in your spirit for onward transmission to these dormant sexual potentials in you and suddenly you will awaken to certain pressure in that direction. The bible says, ” it is God who works in us both to will and to do of his good pleasure”, Philippians 2:13. Marriage is one of the good things that bring pleasure to God. When you start feeling the urge or willingness to get married just know God has begun this good work in you. Anybody that has this urge or desire to marry is one of those God has ordained to marry. Period!

To become a eunuch or to marry is your choice. God has given you the free will to decide it. He will not choose or impose any one on you. Apostle Paul chose not to marry because he wanted to use his life to serve God and not because God said he should not. His case should not become a doctrine to dissuade people from fulfilling God’s purpose for their lives. He even admonished anyone that is unable to bear it to marry instead of burning in lust. If you choose to live a life of celibacy or choose to marry as you have desired, God is pleased with you. Do not allow previous disappointments dissuade you or make you start thinking that it might be that you are among the chosen eunuchs. You are ordained! If things are not working well, find out what you have not been doing right, keep correcting and working on yourself so God can connect you with the right kind of spouse.

However, it does not mean you should rush into anyone because God has willed it so for you. There is period to find the right kind of spouse and there is time for preparation. My stake here is to let you know that these signs put you in the category God has ordained to marry. You do belong to the group of those made eunuchs from their mother’s womb.

Parents should watch out for these signs in their children and wards. When these signs begin to show up, it is a signal to parents to start preparing their children or wards for the next phase of their lives. Unfortunately, many parents and guardians around these children do not always prepare them on time, and sometimes they misdirect them through wrong information. We owe the upcoming generation this responsibility as guardians. Those who fail at this level of parenting always regret it because late stitches steal real good time.

Those made eunuchs from their mother’s womb do not have and will never have the urge to get married because they do not have the features in them. I do not mean those incapacitated by sickness, diseases and infirmities like down syndromes, depression or paralysis. These are healthy and virile folks who are repugnant to the site of the opposite sex. They never have any amorous feelings towards the opposite sex even when they are both nude in a secret room.

Whether we choose to marry, remain single or born incapacitated, it does not make us sinners or better before God. He loves all of us equally, but it will please Him to see us fulfill His desires for us. I have cleared the obstacles before you. The onus is now on you to decide what you want. Apostle Paul chose not to marry because it was his choice. Apostle Peter did not divorce his wife because of God’s work, yet God accepted them all. Decide your case by yourself.

Remain Blessed!

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Source by Christopher UI Ogholoh

Views: 0

July 25, 2022
Wisdom For Living

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Do you have wisdom? Wisdom is the key to successful living on earth. Lack of it is to be groping in the dark and be surrounded by great woes, wailing and destruction. Wisdom makes the difference between success and failure, life and death, poverty and prosperity, health and sickness. Possession of wisdom is to possess life.

“I, wisdom, dwell with prudence, and find out knowledge and discretion… I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently will find me. Riches and honor are with me, enduring riches and righteousness… The Lord possessed me at the beginning of His way, before His works of old… Then I was beside Him as a master craftsman; and I was daily His delight, rejoicing always before Him… – Proverbs 8:12, 17-18, 22, 30 (NKJV).

The Lord founded the earth by wisdom (Proverbs 3:19) and so man needs wisdom to be able to occupy her successfully. Wisdom is the principal thing to possess in order to enjoy living on earth. Every challenge in life is basically a wisdom problem and to have wisdom for any challenge is to have 50% of it solved.

Wisdom was God’s master craftsman in creation. He utilized wisdom to successfully create all we see, use and enjoy. With wisdom you have prudence, knowledge and discretion; a complete package that will help you not to stumble or make mistakes in your words and action.

The choices you make are measures of the wisdom available to you. The more the wisdom you acquire the better your choices and the outcomes you get. It is your responsibility to go for wisdom in all areas of your life. You need wisdom to live a victorious Christian life and also to live every phase of your life very well and remarkably: as a child, student, worker, spouse, parent, friend, leader, neighbour, colleague, group member, boss, employee and client. The list can go on and on. Your level of wisdom will affect your relationship with others and so is important that you possess it.

Your tomorrow is a product of your application of wisdom today. The wisdom seeds you plant today grow and add up to give you a glorious future. The wisdom steps you take today will take you to your ultimate peak tomorrow. The prize you pay today to get wisdom cannot be compared to the returns that will come to you in future. The outcome of wisdom is worth all you have to put in or sacrifice to get it. The success of your life depends on it, so go for the wisdom for living.

The word of God (The bible), which is the bag of wisdom seeds, has all the wisdom you need to live a triumphant life on this earth. Search the word for them, for whoever finds wisdom finds life and obtains favour from God.

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Source by Ngozi Nwoke

Views: 0

July 25, 2022
Marriage Advice: Eight Steps to Marital Harmony

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The formula for marital harmony and success is not a mysterious secret. It’s actually very straightforward.

The “behind the scenes” part is the constant work that’s required to keep the channels of love and communication clear from obstruction. Diligent spouses consistently spend time and energy addressing issues as they come up so that anger and hurt feelings don’t accumulate.

Spouses who want satisfying marriages also look for ways to keep their love strong, such as remembering to show affection and appreciation frequently. They know that the more they feel connected and bonded, the more motivated they will be to resolve problems and hang in there when things are difficult.

The following eight steps will guide you in looking at what you can do to increase your chances for creating a happy, harmonious marriage:

1. Work on yourself and your own issues that you brought with you into the marriage.

Many responses that you have to your spouse’s actions are triggered by past events going back to your childhood. If one of your emotional wounds is feeling disrespected, then when your partner inadvertently does something that triggers those feelings, you’ll experience an intense reaction. Individual counseling can help you to be more self-aware of what’s behind your intense reactions and what you can do so that you don’t over-react to issues in your marriage.

2. Avoid blaming your partner for problems in the marriage.

Blame only causes the other person to become defensive and angry, and it decreases the probability that the two of you can find a win-win solution to your problems. When you focus on blaming your spouse for what’s happening in the marriage, you are planting seeds of resentment that can hurt the relationship. A marriage is composed of two people, and each contributes to the quality of the relationship and shares responsibility for it.

3. Be empathetic and put yourself in your partner’s place when issues come up.

Really try to understand where your partner is coming from when you disagree or when your partner does something that you can’t make sense of. Ask your spouse to talk about his or her feelings. Listen respectfully and ask your spouse to clarify points that you don’t understand. Develop a curiosity for learning more about your spouse’s feelings and take special care to create an emotionally safe environment for the discussions with your spouse.

4. Look for ways to make your partner’s life easier and to show your love.

Many of the irritants and stressors in modern day life are the little things—the extra time it takes to pick up the cleaning on the way home from work or to put the clean dishes in the dishwasher away. When you see some errand or task that you can do to save your partner time, offer to do it.

Look for opportunities to give your spouse a few minutes to relax or have downtime. Watch for things you can do to pamper your partner when you can. It’s often the little things that can make a big difference in marital happiness and satisfaction.

5. Express appreciation often and say form the habit of saying “thank you.”

As months and years go by, many spouses take each other for granted and neglect to express appreciation or say “thank you” to each other. Numerous spouses complain that their partners only focus on what they do wrong and never compliment them.

It’s sad to think that the one person who means the most to you might have to wonder whether or not you appreciate them. Let your spouse know how much he or she means to you on a frequent basis. Give compliments and praise freely, and express thanks for all that your partner does to enrich your life and marriage.

6. Apologize quickly and sincerely, taking responsibility for your part in whatever happens in the marriage.

The truth is that sometimes it’s hard to say “I’m sorry.” That’s when it’s time to remember the question, “Would you rather be right or would you rather be happy?”

Accept that things don’t always make sense in a relationship and that confusion and misunderstandings can happen easily. It’s a mark of maturity when you can say, “I’m so sorry for my part in what has happened between us.”

7. Have interests, hobbies and activities in your life that you enjoy so you’re not thrown off center so easily if you have a tiff or quarrel with your spouse.

It’s important to have interests and activities of your own that are satisfying to you that can help to keep you balanced and anchored if other areas of your life are upsetting. That way, you can more easily regain a sense of perspective and be able to withstand the on-going stress.

For example, if you and your spouse are encountering some rocks along the relationship path, you could go on a long bike ride, go fishing with a friend, visit a museum, or read an interesting book. Those activities and interests can add pleasure to your life to help balance out the temporary problems in your marriage. You’re always ahead of the game when you know some ways to lift your spirits.

8. Look for fun activities and bonding experiences to share with your mate.

Be on the lookout for activities that could be fun for you and your spouse to do together. Search the local newspaper for plays, concerts, new movies, museum exhibits, neighborhood fairs and festivals, and new restaurants that are advertised. Laughter and having fun is bonding and can help to create those “Kodak moments” that are so delightful.

Also look for activities that represent causes you and your spouse believe in, such as spending a Saturday helping a local charity with a garage sale or volunteering together at a local soup kitchen. These experiences can serve to remind you of what you have in common with your spouse and of how good it feels to be working in unison with a shared purpose.

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Source by Nancy Wasson

Views: 0

July 24, 2022
Youth Leadership and Entrepreneurship Development Mentorship – The Perspective

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The youth are the leaders of the future and deserve to be treated like we would treat any candidate of a succession planning in any organization, institution, and company. Such candidates are often enrolled in some sort of development programme in preparing them for the future challenges they would face. Such programme could and should include mentorship development programme.

The Mentorship Development Programme could include projects that expose the youth to the opportunity to practice leadership as early as possible in their lives. The most effective programmes are those that are designed by the youth, for the youth, under the mentorship of the elderly and/or experienced members of the society, the institution, the organisation or the company.

The progressive members of the society see the mentorship of the youth as their responsibility and they take the ownership. They would contribute to the formulation of the youth leadership development mentorship. They go all out to also oversee the successful implementation of such a programme. The programme should create the opportunity for the contribution by the parents and guardians where practical.

The effectiveness of the youth leadership development mentorship programmes is seen in the evolving leadership qualities of the youth. Hence, the need to create the space in the NGOs, Community Organizations, and Clubs for the youth to practice their leadership. Countries are encouraged to introduce national youth development organizations, projects and programmes to absorb those youth that are truly committed to taking their leadership development to the higher level.

The mentorship guidelines for the youth leadership development programmes are the basis on which to package the programmes. These guidelines are based on experience over many years, but also the lessons from benchmarking local and international programmes. They evolve over time. They are genuinely supporting the youth initiative.

The youth leadership development programmes that requires mentorship intervention could cover diverse areas as education, community development, art, culture, sport, entrepreneurship, business, etc. They therefore genuinely form part of the country’s real sectors and areas of development need. It is therefore expected that the mentorship programmes be informed by the needs of the society under these sectors and areas. Making resources available for such programmes, including the mentorship programme, should be viewed as investment in the future.

The youth leadership programme could take a specialist dimension, for example entrepreneurship development. Developing the youth in entrepreneurship early in their lives caters for the supply of future businessmen and women. The majority of the youth respond positively to the mentorship programmes dedicated to the entrepreneurship development. The entrepreneurship opportunities for the youth are mostly in the technology sector. The 4th Industrial Revolution is the main reason why this is the case. The start-ups in technology by the youth is becoming a norm. This, however, provides a challenge to a number of mentors, as they require the understanding of the context from which these youth are functioning.

Entrepreneurship will always be the most direct option to employment for the youth. As more companies are shedding jobs, more people would see entrepreneurship as the direction to follow. This makes demand for youth entrepreneurship mentorship to grow. The mentors assist the youth entrepreneurs in accessing the markets through their network. Most governments have entrepreneurship support programmes and incubators. These incubators are making mentors available to the youth entrepreneurs.

It is important for the youth to make a shift and consider entrepreneurship not as a survival means but an opportunity to innovate solutions that mitigate the challenges in the society. Since they are the youth, they are expected to continue paying attention to their holistic development. Involvement in the youth entrepreneurship development initiatives must not become replacement of their education and development. The mentors must continue to challenge the youth to explore many options about their future. We do not expect them to jump certain stages of their development and become adults too soon. They must enjoy their life journey.

The business case for early youth leadership and entrepreneurship development is very strong. They are laying strong foundation for future responsibilities as entrepreneurs and leaders in the society. They could become serious value chain additions in the various economic sectors of their countries and international. They are the future ambassadors of their countries.

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Source by Sam Tsima

Views: 0

July 24, 2022
My Wife Thinks I’m Immature! What Steps Can Help Change This

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Your wife tells you that you’re immature. Perhaps you agree with her, or maybe you think she’s way off base. Regardless of your stance on the issue, she’s clear on hers. It’s hurtful knowing that the woman you’ve chosen to spend your life with sees you as nothing more than a child in a man’s clothing. Her comments sting, her attitude overshadows all the great things you do and you’re getting tired of trying to please her when you truly believe you’re fine exactly as you are, right?

There’s a very specific dynamic that dominates a marriage when the wife views her husband as immature. She’ll tend to take the reins on everything from major decision making to raising the children. Over time, a man in a relationship like this will start to feel as though his opinion and contributions aren’t welcomed or embraced. Once a marriage hits this bump in the road, it can be difficult to get it back on a loving and mutually respectful path.

Talk to Your Wife About Your Concerns

Before you can work on changing how your wife views you, you must get to the root of why she holds the opinion of you that she does. In some marriages, it’s obvious in that the husband refuses to take on the necessary responsibility that a married partner must carry. This may manifest itself in a man who hasn’t chosen a career path yet even though he’s been out of college for a decade, or it can be a man who insists on splurging on things that the couple can’t afford.

If you’re unsure why your wife continually views you as immature, ask her. You must be prepared to hear some difficult things about yourself. In fact, when you ask your wife about how she sees your behavior, this may actually open the floodgates and she’ll pour out every criticism she has of you.

View this as a step in a positive direction. Try not to become defensive. Instead, absorb it as a tool for change and a means towards a closer, more enriching marriage.

Do Things Within Your Marriage That Command Respect

If someone views you as immature it may be a sign that they simply have little or no respect for you. In the case of a married couple, this can stem from any number of circumstances but it’s generally something that can be rectified.

Commanding respect may feel like an ominous task, particularly in the case of a man who wants his wife to show him more respect. But it’s often your own view of yourself that others will follow. For instance, if you don’t take care of yourself physically or emotionally, your wife may start to believe that you don’t value yourself. In turn, she’ll begin to devalue you as well which can result in her seeing you as someone who isn’t on the same level as she is.

Working on improving yourself is a simple way to garner more respect from your wife. Take stock of where your life is compared to where you want it to be at this point. Perhaps you believed that you’d be running your own company by the age of thirty, or maybe you envisioned yourself a successful investor by the time you entered your forties. Whatever your life goals have been now is the time to redefine them and start making them a reality.

When a person invests more energy, care and time in themselves, others follow that lead. That’s why you must start putting more effort into becoming the man you know you’re capable of. You can show your wife, through dedicated actions, that you aren’t the immature boy that she believes she marries. Instead, begin showing her that you are indeed a focused and mature man who now sees the potential within himself.

Don’t Try and Hurt Your Wife in Retaliation for Her Criticism

When a person we love hurts us verbally there’s a very strong temptation to throw something just as hurtful back in their direction. You may have already done this with your wife when she referred to you as immature. If you have, ensure that it’s the last time it happens.

If you fall to the same level of your wife and throw hurtful words in her direction, you are showing her that you are the definition of immature. You are, in fact, proving her own point for her. Children like to engage in hurtful banter that often results in one person being so stung that the relationship will never be the same. It’s much worse when it’s married adults who are engaging in this type of destruction behavior.

The next time your wife tells you that she thinks you are immature, you need to respond in a very specific way. Look her straight in the eye and calmly say, “you are entitled to your opinion, but I disagree.” Then end the conversation by leaving the room or saying goodbye if it’s via telephone. Don’t engage her a moment longer because if you do you will be tempted to say things that will escalate the situation until you both are hurt.

If you repeatedly handle the situation with this type of dignity and grace your wife will soon realize that her words are hollow. You’ll be showing her that you are indeed mature, calm and reasonable.

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Source by Gillian Reynolds

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July 22, 2022
What Is Relationship Coaching Really Like?

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People often wonder what Relationship Coaching is really like? Because each person has different issues and goals for coaching, it will be different depending on the individual. In general, you can expect to discuss with your Relationship Coach such things as the current events happening in your life, your personal history relevant to your issue, and report progress (or any new insights gained) from the previous session. Depending on your specific needs, coaching can be short-term, for a specific issue, or longer-term, to deal with more difficult patterns or your desire for more personal development. Either way, it is most common to schedule regular sessions with your coach (usually weekly).

TAKE AN ACTIVE PART IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP COACHING FOR THE BEST RESULTS

It is important to understand that you will get more results from coaching if you actively participate in the process. The ultimate purpose of coaching is to help you bring what you learn in session back into your life. Therefore, beyond the work you do in coaching sessions, your coach may suggest some things you can do outside of sessions to support your process – such as reading a pertinent book, journaling on specific topics, noting particular behaviors or taking action on your goals. People seeking coaching are ready to make positive changes in their lives, are open to new perspectives and take responsibility for their lives.

WHAT ABOUT MEDICATION VS. RELATIONSHIP COACHING?

It is well established that the long-term solution to mental and emotional problems and the pain they cause cannot be solved solely by medication. Instead of just treating the symptom, coaching addresses the cause of our distress and the behavior patterns that curb our progress. You can best achieve sustainable growth and a greater sense of well-being with an integrative approach to wellness. Working with your medical doctor you can determine what’s best for you, and in some cases a combination of medication and coaching is the right course of action.

DOES WHAT WE TALK ABOUT IN SESSION REMAIN CONFIDENTIAL?

Confidentiality is one of the most important components between a client and coach. Successful Relationship Coaching requires a high degree of trust with highly sensitive subject matter that is usually not discussed anywhere but the coach’s office. Every coach should provide a written copy of their confidential disclosure agreement, and you can expect that what you discuss in session will not be shared with anyone. Sometimes, however, you may want your coach to share information or give an update to someone on your healthcare team (your Physician, Naturopath, Attorney), but your Relationship Coach will never release this information without obtaining your written permission.

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Source by Roxanna Teeling

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July 22, 2022