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  • When Your Husband Leaves You Without Any Warning

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    I often get correspondence from wives who are now living alone but who never saw this coming. Generally, they will come home from work or from running errands one day and find that their husband has left them. Or, the husband will abruptly pack his bags and announce that the marriage is no longer working for him and he thinks that he might “want out.” However this plays out, often the wife will tell me that she had no real warning and that this was very much an abrupt and unwelcome surprise.

    I often hear things like “I can’t believe he left me. I never really saw this coming. I knew we had issues, but every married couple has issues. I just can’t believe that he would leave me without ever trying to work things out. And, I don’t know where to go from here. I don’t want a divorce. I want him to come back home, but I’m so angry that he didn’t try to approach me first that I don’t even know how to approach him. What should I do?”

    The answer to this question is going to depend upon the circumstances and the people involved. But, it will often help to deal directly with the real situation that is in front of you, rather than trying to deal with the situation that you envision or hope exists. I will discuss this more in the following article.

    Don’t Focus Only On The Fact That You Had No Warning When He Left. Focus On What To Do Now And Where To Go From Here: It’s completely normal to be floored by the fact that one morning you woke up with a husband living at home, but by evening you were alone without any warning. This is an abrupt blow that can be devastating. But, because it can be important to act quickly, you will often have to make a conscious decision not to focus on the way in which this happened.

    Yes, your husband could most certainly have handled this in a different and preferable way, but neither of you can change that now. There’s a real risk in allowing your reaction to how he handled this to interfere with how you act toward him in the present. It can really help to ask yourself what your ultimate goal is in this situation. Some women will just want to handle themselves with dignity and grace while coping and moving on in the best way that they know how.

    Others will decide that their primary goal is to get their husband to come back home as quickly as possible. Often, what will help with one of these goals will also help with the other. No matter what you decide that you ultimately want, it’s my experience that you will often have an easier time getting it if you focus on what is right in front of you rather than the manner in which it happened. Yes, being blindsided is very painful and shocking, but it can hurt rather than help the situation to dwell on this rather than taking action.

    Evaluating What Is Going To Most Improve Your Situation: Once you’ve decided where you want to go from here, it’s important to step back and to try to take the emotion out of it to come up with the strategy that is most likely to get you what you want. It’s so easy to lash out, feel resentful, and to feel sorry for yourself. But these things usually won’t get you any closer to what you want. In fact, allowing your feelings to run your actions will often keep you from getting what you want.

    Debating with your husband, arguing with him, or lashing out will often push him even further away and just make you more upset with your situation. It’s usually better, at least in my experience and observation, to try as best as you can to limit yourself to the actions that strengthen you and allow you to feel in control rather than to surrender to those feelings or actions that are natural (and may relieve some tension) but which will only make the situation worse.

    It’s usually when you can somewhat rise above this and handle yourself with strength and calm that you will often begin to gain some ground. I absolutely know that this can be difficult. Sometimes, you might need to wait to interact with your husband until you can actually be calm. This may not be possible in the very beginning. But it can really help to always keep in mind your ultimate goal so that you don’t lose control of your strategy.

    Interacting With Your Husband During This Difficult Situation: It’s probably fair to say that there will come a time when you will need to communicate with your husband about where your marriage is going from here. Whether it’s fair or not, your husband has sent a clear message by leaving. Now, it’s up to you as to how you are going to reply to that message. But, before you do, define how you ultimately want for this to turn out. If you could put aside the shock, the hurt, and the fear, what is your greatest wish right now? The answer to this question is what you must place your focus upon.

    Because I would argue that no matter what your ultimate goal is, you’ll usually get closer to it by trying to interact with him in a positive way. Even if you are ultimately going to end the marriage, this was an important relationship in your life and it will likely help you going forward if you can keep this as positive as you can. If you want to save the marriage, improving your relationship and communications going forward will go a long way toward helping you to eventually save your marriage.

    There is absolutely nothing wrong with telling your husband that although you’re devastated that he would leave you without warning, you would like to interact with him in a positive way going forward. Since the two of you were once the most important people in one another’s lives (and may well still be) it just doesn’t make sense to allow for one negative action to turn into something that is even worse. He may not be all that receptive to this at first, but when he sees that you’re not reacting as he anticipated and are working with him rather than against him, you will sometimes be able to slowly rebuild with time. This is often true even if you are not 100% sure how you want to approach him right now.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

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  • Lower Your High Blood Pressure Naturally: 10 Hypertension Secrets Your Doctor Won’t Tell You

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    When you were diagnosed with high blood pressure you were almost certainly advised to lose weight, take more exercise and to improve your diet. That sagely advice was most likely coupled with a prescription for synthetic anti-hypertension medication. Over recent years, research has shown that some natural treatments are just as effective as prescription medicine. This begs the question: Is there something doctors are not telling us?

    The truth is that there is a great deal we are not being told about how our condition can be treated. That is due in part to:

    • the way doctors are trained;
    • the reliance of medical services on pharmaceutical products; and
    • a general lack of understanding of natural remedies.

    The irony is that the pharmaceutical companies develop products that mimic the effects of these natural hypertension remedies.

    The 10 Hypertension Secrets Your Doctor Won’t Tell You

    Secret #1: Hypertension is not a disease.It is in fact a vital sign telling you that there is something wrong inside your body that is elevating your blood pressure.

    Secret #2: The only way to “cure” your condition is by dealing with the underlying cause or causes. Your doctor prescribes medication to manage your condition because he or she does not have the time to investigate every possible cause.

    Secret #3: In many cases, lifestyle factors contribute to or even cause our condition. We do not need medication to improve our lifestyle choices.

    Secret #4:The medications prescribed by your doctor only treat the symptom, not the problem.

    Secret #5: Adopt and follow the principles contained in the Dietary Advice to Stop Hypertension (the DASH diet). There is reliable evidence that this advice, if strictly followed can lower your BP readings to within normal levels in as little as three weeks. Even if it takes longer, the evidence suggests that the diet makes the medication you are taking more effective, resulting in a lower dosage being required.

    Secret #6: Eat three or four cloves of fresh garlic a day or take a good quality supplement.Our blood pressure rises as our body increases production of the angiotensin converting enzyme (ACE). Garlic contains a natural ACE inhibitor. This, combined with the high amounts of allicin found in garlic give it its ability to dilate arteries, thereby lowering our blood pressure.If ACE inhibitors sound familiar to you it is because synthetic versions are often prescribed to manage your condition.

    Secret #7: Keep properly hydrated.The general advice is that our bodies need two litres of water a day to maintain health. You can substitute fresh home-made juices, such as beetroot, carrot, celery or cranberry for part of this daily requirement as these are known to lower blood pressure.

    Secret #8: Replace your caffeinated drinks with green tea. For people with our condition, having caffeinated drinks is like throwing gasoline onto a fire. Green tea is low in caffeine and is loaded with antioxidants that have been shown to reduce hypertension.

    Secret #9: Drink an infusion made from extract of hawthorn each day. Hawthorn is another powerful natural ACE inhibitor. It is also a mild diuretic that lowers blood volume. Synthetic diuretics are another medication commonly prescribed to manage your condition. Sometimes they are used in combination with other medications such as ACE inhibitors.

    Secret #10: Relieve stress. It is well-known that stress can cause hypertension. Try some deep breathing exercises, reading a book, or listening to tranquil music. Practicing meditation or deep relaxation are also effective ways of eliminating physical and mental stress, thereby reducing hypertension.

    Now you know these 10 hypertension secrets your doctor has not told you, you can review how your condition is being treated. Lowering your high blood pressure to normal levels naturally is not only possible, it is not difficult.

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    Source by Robert Reddin

    Views: 0

  • Find a Vaginal Yeast Infection Cure That Actually Works – 7 Simple Solutions You Can Use From Today

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    More and more women are seeking natural cures for Candida which we commonly refer to as a yeast infection. Of all the available treatments out there the holistic treatments are some of the only ones that have actually been proven to work. So it is possible to find a vaginal yeast infection cure that actually works, and works fast?

    Healthy bacteria is necessary for the body to survive, but when the fungus Candida albicans begins to multiply it causes infections in the body. Vaginal yeast infections can be very embarrassing, painful and annoying, so it is important to treat the infection as soon as it is discovered because it can spread and get worse.

    A vaginal yeast infection cure that is natural will target the Candida albicans and promote the development of healthy bacteria at the same time. By controlling and limiting the growth of the yeast it is possible to get rid of all the uncomfortable symptoms that such an infection brings, and more importantly prevent future infections from occurring.

    Natural cures provide immediate relief from the itching, burning, pain. and the many other annoying symptoms that the infection causes.

    Have you tried various pills, creams and douches to cure your infection without success?

    Diet is one of the biggest factors causing in yeast to grow and multiply in the body. Try these 7 home remedy solutions today for immediate relief from symptoms.

    Keep the vagina clean and dry

    • To relieve itching and burning, healing needs to occur so keep your vagina clean and dry. When you use the bathroom wipe your vagina completely. Put some unscented some powder on it, like Goldbond powder or baby powder. Goldbond powder should take away some of the itch, and if there is any burning from any sores it should take that away too.Use an unscented soap like Neutrogena bar face soap when taking a shower.
    • Do not use toilet paper with dye in it.
      Diet

    • Eat one clove of organic garlic in the morning, chopped, with a glass of water. Garlic is a natural fungicide which will kill candida.
    • Avoid brewer’s yeast or foods rich in yeast.
    • Eliminate all sugar such as soft drinks, cookies, added sugar in your tea and coffee from your diet.Yeast feeds on sugar so you need to starve the yeast. After your yeast infection is gone you should also watch how much sugar you eat or drink so that the yeast does not reoccur.
    • Take a probiotic like Acidophilius each day. Your body needs good bacteria and the Acidophilus will help to get rid of the bad bacteria. You can also use yogurt that contains Acidophilus.
      At home treatments

    • Sit in a tub of warm water about hip deep for 20 minutes using 1 cup salt (base)and 1 cup vinegar (acid). This will bring the ph of the vagina to 4.5.
      If your yeast infection is very painful put one big fresh clove of garlic into your vagina. Do not put it too far though. Leave it in for a few hours or overnight. Thus will relieve the pain quite fast.

    If you are suffering from yeast infections you surely don’t have time to waste on treatments that do not offer immediate relief, or keep the infection from coming back. The best cures available will isolate the Candida albicans and kill it, not only will this make the yeast infection symptoms go away but they will help you to avoid future yeast infections all together.

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    Source by Marissa Nathan

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  • Uncovering the Weight & Lifestyle Connection

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    Why do some people have a harder time losing weight than others?

    Some people have really low metabolisms due to inborn genetic conditions. Others develop hormone-imbalance disorders like hypothyroidism later in life, which can also make losing weight nearly impossible without proper treatment.

    However, the most common cause of delay in weight loss is actually lifestyle choices.

    If you are already dieting and working out and you still aren’t seeing any progress, it’s time to do a lifestyle check to see if you have any “weight loss traps” holding you back.

    What are “weight loss traps?”

    Weight loss traps are habits, beliefs and general lifestyle factors that can slow down your progress in slimming down. To say that only diet and exercise are needed to slim down is an oversimplification. There are many other factors that affect a person’s weight.

    Factor #1: Daily Routines

    How do our daily routines affect weight loss?

    Daily routines have a definite impact on the weight loss process. If people evaluated their main routines at home or at work, they would immediately see why the weight isn’t coming off.

    If you grab cheeseburgers or tacos for lunch and you skip breakfast on most days, your metabolism is probably very low and your body isn’t burning calories at an optimum level.

    Poor eating habits often have precedents. For example, if a person doesn’t have time in the morning to prepare breakfast, it is likely that they often sleep late and wake up in the morning with only minutes left to shower and dress for work.

    It’s important that you slowly change your daily routines to fit your new lifestyle requirements. Otherwise, your body will not be able to shed fat efficiently.

    Factor #2: Stress Levels

    How stressed are you on most days?

    If you answered “very stressed” or “extremely stressed”, your level of stress may also be preventing you from losing weight.

    In addition to the mental strain that stress creates, physiological stress also affects cardiorespiratory efficiency, nerve health and even your digestive health. In short, when you are mentally stressed, your body (including your vital organs) is stressed too.

    In this situation, the only viable option is stress management.

    There are many stress management techniques available, from meditation to massage therapy. Some individuals like playing subliminal recordings with ambient sounds to relieve themselves of stress. Explore your options and see which technique will be the most beneficial for you.

    Factor #3: Sleep Quality

    Sleep is the only time that the body can start renewing and repairing itself. When you are actively losing extra weight, your body needs even more sleep so that your muscles and organs can repair and reconfigure themselves to function more efficiently.

    What happens when you don’t get enough sleep at night?

    Lack of sleep or poor sleep quality can affect your ability to exercise. Your metabolism is also slower and the digestion and absorption of nutrients also slow down.

    Having less than 6 hours of sleep every night can also cause physical stress which further reduces your metabolic efficiency. In short, if you want to melt away those extra inches, you have to give your “fat burning machine” the rest that it needs.

    How can you get better sleep at night?

    No Gadgets – If you are going to sleep, leave your tablet computer and smartphone on the bedside table or even farther away. Watching TV is also a bad idea as it makes your mind more active, making sleep harder to come.

    Aromatherapy – Starting with the ability to relax your mind and body, aromatherapy can vastly improve your sleep habits. Getting to sleep, staying asleep, the quality of sleep you are getting, and the ability to wake up refreshed are all quality sleep habits that aromatherapy can help you with.

    Lights Off – Current research shows that having even a small amount of light present during bedtime can affect sleep quality. It appears that we instinctually associate any form of light with sunlight and therefore, wakefulness.

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    Source by Josee Smith

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  • How to Heal Vulvar Varicosities During Pregnancy and Postpartum

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    Vulvar varicose vein compression therapy treatment during pregnancy can relieve pain and reduce symptoms.

    You are not alone if you have vulvar varicosities. This may not be a hot topic of conversation, but many women during pregnancy experience swelling of veins in the vagina or vulva. This condition often occurs during pregnancy due to increased blood flow and pressure on the pelvic floor resulting in varicose veins of the vulva or vagina.

    The symptoms of vulvar varicosities are:

    • pain in the vulva area
    • feeling of fullness or pressure
    • swelling and discomfort

    In more extreme cases the full, dilated blood vessels can resemble dark purple, swollen veins (often really looking like large earthworms). There are several steps you can take to prevent this condition from worsening, reduce swelling, and potentially heal the varicosities.

    Take action to care for yourself so that your pregnancy will be comfortable and healthy.

    Treatment:

    #1 WEAR A COMPRESSION SUPPORT GARMENT

    Wearing an abdominal band with compression therapy groin bands is essential in supporting vulvar varicosities. Direct compression on the vulvar varicosities and/or vaginal varicosities help to prevent swelling, adds support to the swollen veins and helps move the blood along in the pelvic floor area to prevent pooling and varicosities. Some support wear products also provide shoulder straps to the system which is even more beneficial because they provide a lift to the abdomen further reducing pressure on the pelvic floor.

    #2 AVOID STANDING FOR LONG PERIODS OF TIME

    Avoid standing for long hours and try to take breaks to relieve the pressure on your pelvis with short intervals of sitting or lying down. If you have a job which requires standing, it is even more important to wear compression support during these hours to counter act the pressure from your added weight of the baby and gravity pulling downward on your varicosities. Ask your employer to provide intervals of time where you can change your standing position to sitting. Ideally lie down for 10 minutes here and there throughout the day. This is obviously not realistic for some jobs, however, you are pregnant and do have rights at your job relating to the safety of both you and your baby. Get a note from your obstetrician stating your needs and present this to your employer.

    #3 ELEVATE YOUR HIPS

    When you lie down, elevate your hips by putting a pillow underneath your bottom. This helps improve the blood flow in the pelvic floor area and reduce swelling in the veins.

    #4 COOL COMPRESS

    When you have a chance to lie down, place cool compresses on the vulvar varicosities to ease pain and reduce the swelling. Make sure the packs are refrigerator cool, not frozen so that the temperature feels comfortable and relieving.

    #5 AVOID LIFTING HEAVY OBJECTS

    If you have a toddler this is difficult, but try to avoid lifting heavy objects. Squat down to talk with your toddler, or sit down and ask him/her to sit on your lap to talk instead of lifting him/her. Ask for help lifting groceries or other heavy objects. ASK FOR HELP! I need to say this again because women are generally the ‘helpers’ and tend not to ask for help. As a pregnant woman you need to take care of yourself. Who knows, you may make another person’s day by reaching out and asking for their help.

    You can get even more information on vulvar varicosities or confirm the information in this short article by reading:

    Mayo Clinic article on Vulvar varicosities

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    Source by Caroline Christensen

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  • Why You Need to Express Emotion

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    When I was young I was taught that crying was not good. After all, the message was that if you cry too much, “you’re going to get sick.” Crying, especially in public, definitely was bad news. In short, crying, even when grieving, was considered to be a sign of weakness. If you were going to cry, then do so in private.

    Through the years this and many other natural ways of showing emotion have been stifled by many of the celebrities who always assume a stoic pose when appearing on camera. (I always remember the death of President Kennedy and the way Jackie showed little emotion during the funeral and on TV.)

    Many additional beliefs about expressing emotion were looked down upon for years as western culture had adopted the “rugged individualism” view of dealing with life in all its manifestations. Expressing emotion was out and being strong was definitely in. Keeping emotion within is presently the cultural norm.

    However, psychology and the social sciences have shown time and time again the importance of expressing, in some form, what is happening inside; it can actually save your life. If you have been trained by the authority figures in your life to suppress your feelings or if you are unable to cry (much to do with unconscious beliefs instilled early in life) when one might be expected to do so, consider the following.

    1. We are built to vocalize feelings and tell our stories. This is an inherent and normal human response. Its purpose is to relieve the stress of trauma and massive change that occur in every life. There is a basic human need to externalize the pressure and pain that develops within.

    2. What is the alternative when we bottle the anxiety, anger, fear, guilt or pain that is generated by a major loss? The physical self pays a huge price to perform this task. Stress hormones go into overdrive and every cell in the body is affected. I repeat, every cell in the body is heavily stressed. Energy stores are depleted.

    3. A more vicious result of stuffing feelings is that our unconscious and our memory banks keep them forever alive in full force. Consequently, we are easily thrown into deep pain throughout life when something we see in a movie or on a TV show or read in the paper, cues up the terrible feelings and memories we never dealt with.

    So what can you do? The obvious answer is to find a way to tell your story of pain and disappointment. If you don’t have a best friend who is a good long-term listener, (a resource we all need to develop), then seek out a counselor, clergy person, or support group. You also can express feelings through writing, drawing, painting or sculpting. Reach out to God to unload your burden. You may need several avenues of release.

    Give in to the natural inclination to share the pain of loss. There is nothing weak about doing so. It is not merely highly therapeutic, it will lead to insights into your loss and how to cope with it (verbalizing our feelings often leads to new interpretations and thoughts). When appropriate, request your good listener to give you valuable feedback.

    Make every effort to change the pattern of the way you deal with loss and change and encourage your children to be open with you about their feelings. See the process as wisdom seeking and in making wise choices. Let periodic expression, where you plumb the deepest depths of your feelings, become part of your long-term healing process. We all need the nurturance and feeling of community that sharing feelings naturally brings forth.

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    Source by Lou LaGrand

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  • Alternative Medicine Treatment of Plantar Fasciitis

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    Plantar fasciitis (PF) affects approximately two-million people in the US, of both athletic and non-athletic populations. This condition can be debilitating and significantly affect one’s quality of life in a very negative way. There are few high quality studies on this condition and the most successful treatments. Treatments range from chiropractic care, physical therapy, injections and surgeries. Fortunately this condition can typically be resolved with conservative treatment and lifestyle modifications that can prevent going under the knife. Simply put, plantar fasciitis is a strain with subsequent inflammation of the thick tissue (plantar fascia) and muscles on the bottom of the foot causing heel pain. Plantar fasciitis (PF) is characterized by biting heel/mid arch pain when first bearing weight in the morning, or after long periods of rest. The pain typically subsides within 5 minutes of walking or running, then worsens with long term activity or weight bearing. It is also associated with tired, achy feet at the end of the day and foot cramps. PF is seen in both active and inactive people, and is rarely the result of an acute injury. PF can be the result of several different factors: repetitive overuse injuries, poor fitting footwear, overtraining, structural abnormalities of the foot and improper gait mechanics. PF often becomes a chronic and/or recurring problem if not given the appropriate treatment and follow up care.

    Some contributing factors to the development of plantar fasciitis:

    Structural abnormalities: Plantar fasciitis is very commonly seen with pes planus (pictured left), or flat footed individuals. As you can see, this individual’s medial arch is almost flush with the ground. This can create strain on the plantar fascia. Severe injuries resulting in the need for surgical fusion of the foot can also create strain on the plantar fascia. In these cases of severe structural abnormalities, orthotics are typically indicated. Rehabilitation including foot strengthening exercises, chiropractic manipulation and soft tissue techniques can relieve pain and help to alleviate strain on the tissues and resolve flair ups. We use custom orthotics from Foot Levelers in our office. Using a 3-D scanner, we can have custom orthotics made to support the full structure of your foot.

    Poorly fitting footwear: Wearing improper footwear over time can lead to PF. If a shoe doesn’t fit your foot properly, your gait is altered during any weight bearing activity. This has an effect on the entire kinetic chain and can ultimately cause strain on the plantar fascia. The strength and flexibility of your foot will determine your best type of footwear.

    Overtraining: Can be a huge contributor to PF. What many athletes, weekend warriors and the like tend to overlook is the importance of recovery in their training regimens. If your tissues don’t have optimal nutrition, rest and repair time they start DEgenerate rather than REgenerate. Especially when it comes to long distance running, or quick sprints, the feet have a lot of demand.

    Nerve Impingement: Plantar fasciitis can be a symptom of sciatic nerve impingement. The sciatic nerve is the thickest nerve in your body. It originates from your lumbosacral plexus of nerves typically L4-S1/S2 with some individual anatomical variation. Although this nerve is commonly blamed for all radiating leg pain, it is only responsible for pain along its trajectory down the posterior aspect of the leg and foot. In some impingement cases, the pain can skip the back of the leg altogether and go straight to the foot. Impingement along any portion of the nerve can result in pain, but it doesn’t have to be in the leg. If there is enough impingement along this nerve, any added pressure, say forced dorsiflexion of the foot when standing or walking, can be just the right tension to create exquisite foot pain. Our bodies are always trying to protect our nervous system; reflexively the muscles surrounding the nerve will tighten in an attempt to avoid any further stretch or tension of the nerve. Ultimately, this leads to inflammation of the plantar fascia and the surrounding muscles.

    Other Factors:

    Systemic Inflammation: Though general systemic inflammation is typically not the cause of plantar fasciitis, it will increase your symptoms. For this reason we strongly encourage our patients to eat an anti-inflammatory diet specific to their needs. We also understand no one is perfect or eats perfect all the time, which is why we encourage an 80/20 approach; eat clean 80% of the time and use the other 20% to indulge. Curcuminoids, like those found in turmeric are great to help blot down inflammation in acute cases of plantar fasciitis.

    Alternatives to conservative care:

    Cortisone or steroid injections are very commonly given for Plantar fasciitis. In some really tough cases this can absolutely be necessary to “put out the fire” that is the inflammatory cascade, to get you out of pain initially. We never recommend looking at this option as a cure. Cortisone is a very powerful anti-inflammatory that alleviates pain without correcting the underlying issue, potentiating further injury and recurrent episodes. Another option is surgical intervention. In some cases, surgery is the best option for a particular case. We prefer to exhaust conservative treatment options before travelling down this avenue. A study on an overweight and obese population (43 total) suffering with plantar fasciitis for an average of 34.8 months, were given decompressive surgery to the nerve to the abductor digiti minimi with partial plantar fascia release and tracked over a 4-year period. It was found that 75.6% of patients were in deed pain-free or had only mild pain post-surgery (pain decreased from an 8.5/10 to a 2.5/10). However patient satisfaction post-surgery was only 48%.

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    Source by Ann Barter

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  • Follow the Yellow Brick Road to More Sales

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    When Dorothy landed in Oz, she wanted to go home and was told by the Munchkins to see the great and powerful Wizard of Oz. “But how do I find the Wizard”, she asked. “Follow the Yellow Brick Road”. “And the best way to start, is at the beginning”. And that holds true for the Sandler System as well. Start at the beginning.

    The beginning step in the Sandler Sales Process is to establish bonding and rapport with your prospect. Once you’ve created a good relationship with this person, you can then set an up-front contract on what you will discuss, typically their agenda and yours, with a specific outcome in mind. This up-front contract should lead them down the path towards revealing some pain. If there’s no pain to reveal, then you can shake hands and part as friends, and move on to the next prospect. However, if you do reveal some pain, then you schedule a next meeting where you can delve deeper into the prospects issues and pain.

    THE PAIN FUNNEL IN ACTION

    Let’s look at a sample story showing the pain funnel in action. In this story, our sales person works for a contractor who builds navigation systems for fighter jets, and has an appointment to see Henry Jones. Henry has an engineering background and is very technical in nature. Watch how the sales person starts out using the questions from the Sandler Pain Funnel to better understand his prospect, and then slowly moves Henry through the funnel towards a sale. The questions are broad at first, but then become more specific and designed to make the prospect more emotional. The idea is to grasp Henry’s problems and lead him to reveal how the problems affect Henry personally.

    Henry starts by asking the salesperson, “Can you design a system that will easily retro- fit our F-16s so that rewiring will not be problematic?” As you can see, this is a very technical question for a very technical problem. The salesperson can try one of one two things: answer the question directly and speak about the product’s features and benefits, or try to uncover the real intent of the question and ultimately, if there’s any pain. In this example, the salesperson employs the Pain Funnel to dig for the pain behind the prospect’s question. The salesperson responds, “You know, that’s a great question. Can you tell me more about that?” Henry answers back, “Yes. We’ve had some experiences retrofitting F-16s with different types of equipment and ran into some challenges. It takes a very long time to rewire the system, and that becomes problematic when you have to disconnect wiring harnesses and lots of other systems that are related to whatever it is we are installing.” The salesperson probes, “Can you be a bit more specific? Give me an example.”

    Keep in mind, each and every question the salesperson asks comes from the Pain Funnel. Even though the questions are in order, you can tell it offers a very smooth arc to the overall conversation. If you have internalized the questions and the process, it won’t feel awkward guiding a prospect through the Pain Funnel in exactly the order prescribed.

    Henry continues, “Well, recently we had to retrofit replacements into the planes. We had to take out the ejection seats and remove some of the navigational systems. We even had to get into the hydraulics. So, what we originally anticipated would be a 25-hour job turned into a job that lasted close to 200 hours. It’s not so much the hours that really bothers us as the amount of time the fighters have to be out of service in order to get it done.” The salesperson continues down the Pain Funnel, “How long has that been a problem?” “It’s been two years that we’ve been dealing with this,” Henry replies. “OK. What have you tried to do about that?” the salesperson asks, following the Pain Funnel method exactly.

    Henry answers, “We talked to a contractor to see if there was a possible fix, and they came up with some recommendations.” The salesperson goes to the next Pain Funnel question: “And did that work?” Henry responds, “The only potentially viable solution they came up with was to redesign the entire system. That would actually take the planes out of commission for even longer.” The salesperson asks, “Do you have any idea how much that would cost you?” “A lot. But it’s not just dollars. It also puts peoples’ lives at risk. Every day that one of those planes is out of service, we risk not having a jet ready to protect people”, Henry says more emotionally now. “How do you feel about that?” the salesperson asks sincerely. (Or alternatively, the salesperson could ask, “What’s your level of commitment to seeing if there is a way to make sure this problem doesn’t happen again?”) “Honestly? We’re very upset this is happening, and we have to get it fixed. We need solutions that minimize the amount of time these planes are out of service. Do you think you can help us?”, Henry pleads.

    THAT’S HOW IT WORKS

    In our prior scenario, the salesperson effectively uncovered Henry’s pain. So what’s next? Uncover even more pain. An effective Pain Step means uncovering 3 to 5 elements of pain the prospect is dealing with. However, don’t use the same approach each time, vary it a bit to keep the prospect unaware of what you are doing. A classic bit of sales wisdom is, “The best presentation you will ever give is the one the prospect doesn’t see.” Since the prospect has revealed to you what to present in order to win the sale, you will want to move forward in the sales process by offering direct solutions that relieve his pain. However, don’t do it right away. First, be sure you really have uncovered three to five pains, and done a good job on the Budget and Decision Steps. In other words, stay within the Sandler Seven Step process. At this point, you will be ready to present the appropriate solutions in the Fulfillment Step. Moreover, if you’ve done your job correctly, like Dorothy did, and followed the Yellow Brick Road to Oz, all you need to do is click the Ruby Slippers together and the deal will close itself, and may even take you some where over the rainbow!

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    Source by Greg Nanigian

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  • Emotional Stress: What Is It And How To Deal With It

    Emotional Stress: What Is It And How To Deal With It

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    Dealing with stress is almost a given for virtually everyone at some point or other. After all, life is made of challenges that test us physically, mentally, and emotionally. However, when a person has to deal with that type of adversity all of the time, the constant strain from such pressure can really affect a person’s mental and physical well-being. This can be to the point where your health can be adversely affected for a short or even long term. This is known as emotional stress. The information below should help you to determine if you are facing this type of anxiety and how to overcome it.

    If you are having trouble with your sleeping habits, whether it’s sleeping more than usual or only sleeping for a few hours and having difficulty going back to sleep, you could be suffering from emotional stress. Often, the cause of this is due to either anxiety or depression, especially if there are no physical reasons for your sleeping issues.

    If you are having extreme changes in your weight over a short period of time, especially if you haven’t changed your eating or exercise routines, you might be suffering from emotional stress. Also, if you constantly think about food or constantly avoid eating, those signs could also be indicators that you are suffering from emotional tension. Depression can also cause a lack of appetite.

    The body will sometimes aid you and others in letting you know that you are suffering from over tension when you have physical ailments that you just cannot explain the cause of. If you’ve undergone a physical, and a physician can’t find anything physically wrong with you, it may be emotional stress that is causing your physical pain.

    Another sure sign that you may be over stressed is if you are always in a bad mood, always showing a short temper toward others, and always getting overly upset over little issues or events. Both your physical and mental health could be at risk, as could the physical and mental health of those around you.

    What can you do if you’re showing the above signs? First, you have to identify and directly address the stressor or stressors that are causing your emotional angst. You should also try to look at the positives of your life and determine whether the stressor(s) you’ve identified are really worth worrying about or not. You may be making those issues larger than you really need to be.

    You also need to take time out for yourself and enjoy fun activities to help relieve your mind of the pressure you are dealing with; no one can go for long periods of time under great duress without it affecting him/her. Also, let your family, friends, and physician know what you are dealing with, so that they can all help you overcome that tension and see the positives in your life.

    Emotional stress can cause a great burden on those who are dealing with it, both in terms of their mental and physical health. They can be more irritable, they have trouble with their sleep patterns, they are less sociable than usual, and they may experience severe weight fluctuations.

    By identifying and realizing what you are suffering from, you can work towards overcoming it with the proper attitude, approach, and help from your family, friends, and physician.

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    Source by Peggy Everson

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  • Quit Smoking – But My Doctor Told Me To Start Smoking Again

    Quit Smoking – But My Doctor Told Me To Start Smoking Again

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    This may sound ridiculous and frankly unbelievable. I know that only the rarest of Doctors would ever recommend a patient take up smoking and that the vast majority try their best to encourage patients to quit.

    But I have heard this story from clients several times, and hearing twice in the past fortnight prompted me to write this article. This is quite different from the bad old days when doctors would routinely prescribe cigarettes for children and people of a nervous disposition.

    This came from the lies of cigarette companies who it has been shown simply bought off some doctors and an ignorance of the real risks involved.

    But this is 2015, there is no ignorance and so there is no excuse. In one instance my client quit then developed a strange skin condition. His specialist suggested it was related to his quitting and advised him to start smoking again!

    When he came to me he had to two problems. 1. He was smoking and 2. He still had his skin condition. At least after hypnosis he only had the skin problem to contend with. In the Naturopathic tradition skin problems are often treated with herbs which cleanse the blood.

    It’s an old fashioned concept, but one thing for certain is that smoking does not cleanse the blood, or anything else. It’s plainly obvious that cigarettes cannot help in any way.

    The other recent client was advised to start cigarettes again because of his anxiety. This would have been an understandable response in the 1960’s but in this day and age it is simply unprofessional laziness and negligence.

    Sure there are many smokers who use nicotine as a crutch to help their anxiety, I see them regularly in my clinic, but there are ways to help these people quit without stress. There are certainly many medical interventions possible, but it requires some time and effort on the part of the practitioner.

    Perhaps those very few medicos would be reminded of the oath “To do no harm.”

    In this day and age there is absolutely no logical sane reason for anyone to smoke. It doesn’t relieve stress, doesn’t help anyone to lose weight, or any of the crazy reasons that unfortunately some people still believe.

    If you want to help yourself, just quit, get some hypnosis help and it will be easier than you might ever imagine. And if some lazy crazy doctor advises you to smoke just walk out, and I certainly wouldn’t pay for such advice.

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    Source by Ian Newton

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