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Tag: Reason

  • Why Your Workplace Needs Drug and Alcohol Testing

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    Modern workplaces have shown emergence of drug and alcohol misuse by employees both within and outside their offices. It will not be wrong to say that almost every workplace accounts for at least a couple of incidences related to drug and alcohol abuse. It is for this reason, that every workplace must have a drug and alcohol testing program. But it is not enough only to test employees for such substances. It is important to educate them and make them aware of the negative results of addiction too.

    Drug and alcohol management therapies form the next stage of the drug management programs initiated by employers for their employees. It is quite encouraging to see business organizations striving to make their workplaces secure and drug and alcohol free.

    Here we must be aware that we are not discussing use of drugs and alcohol at the workplace alone. Of course, this kind of behavior by an employee can have serious repercussions. Besides the possibility of injuring himself, the employee can hurt or injure others in the vicinity too. There is also the danger of causing harm or being injured if the employee who is under influence is operating any heavy machinery. More often than not, the reason for accidents and mishaps at factories and workplaces and sites is an employee who is working under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

    Most employees refrain from consuming drugs and alcohol at their workplaces. However, they are not stopping themselves when they are out of their workplaces. It is not enough if an employee does not use alcohol at the workplace. It is important that he keeps away from it even when away from work.

    Going beyond drug testing, drug management programs can educate employees about why they need to take control of their lives. They are counseled by experts and also sent for medical examination to detect any health problems they may be facing due to drug and alcohol abuse.

    The business owner or employer may have spent years building up a good reputation. But one small incident can tarnish the reputation of a business organization. That is why t is important for employers to be aware of their employees’ behavior. A good drug and alcohol testing management program takes care that the privacy of both the employer and the employee in question is now jeopardized.

    Your employees make your organization what it is. They deserve a safe environment. In the same way, your clients, associates and visitors to your workplace must feel good about coming to visit you.

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    Source by Avisha Jain

    Views: 0

  • Terminal Wealth Dispersion, Life Expectancy and Individual Retirement Accounts

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    Terminal wealth dispersion is the technical term that describes the variability of the future value of investment portfolios. This inevitable variability means that no one knows what the value of their investment portfolio will be when they reach retirement age or at any time during their retirement. And the uncertainty of individual’s life expectancies compounds this problem.

    Hedging against the risks associated with these two factors places an onerous burden on individuals. Although this hedging could result in a very comfortable retirement, if one can afford the hedge and their timing is right, the potential downside risk is so great that it may be deemed unacceptable by many individuals. So one has to ask “Do individuals really prefer to forgo a sure but modest retirement income and play the odds with their retirement savings in hopes of being very well off in retirement?”

    With individual accounts, individuals lose the benefit of the pooling of risks. The two risks that force individuals to over-save are investment risk and the risk of living beyond the average life expectancy. In both cases the outcomes, terminal wealth and life span, are highly variable. When the risks are pooled for a large number of individuals over many overlapping life spans, the average outcomes are highly predictable, which is what makes traditional pension plans work so well.

    Traditional pension plans exist, for all intents and purposes, in perpetuity. This being the case, they can build reserves during good times in the financial markets and weather the bad times, thus enabling them to make consistent payouts to retirees regardless of the timing of their retirement. Unfortunately, individuals do not get to choose their holding periods or the years of their retirement and must take whatever comes along, and what comes along might be good or it might be bad. Thus individuals must set savings goals that are sufficiently high to hedge against the risk of the average return of an investment portfolio over its holding period falling well short of that which would be expected very long term.

    The relatively short duration of individual’s holding periods leave them very susceptible to the effects of market cycles, which are notoriously unpredictable in amplitude and frequency. Being broadly diversified mitigates this risk but does not eliminate it, as it’s entirely possible for a worldwide bear market to occur during one’s holding period. Then at the end of the holding period for wealth accumulation, a second holding period begins, which will be the term of retirement, and this second holding period carries the same risks as the first, but at a time in life when there is no source of income to make up for portfolio under-performance.

    The other component of risk that individuals must hedge is the risk represented by the uncertainty of one’s life span, which means that individuals must aim even higher when setting their savings goals. The managers of large pension plans can depend on retirees living on average for only the average life expectancy of employees who reach retirement age. The average life expectancy for someone who reaches the age of 66 is currently 82 years, and 66 is currently the age when workers are eligible for full Social Security benefits, which makes it a reasonable baseline. Based on those assumptions, the average term of retirement would be 18 years and pension plans should only have to be funded to the extent necessary to cover the cost of this average term of retirement.

    Individuals, however, don’t know how long they’re going to live, so they must over-save to ensure that they don’t run out of money before they run out of time. This need to over-save is independent of the first need, thus the need to over-save is compounded, i.e., an individual needs to save enough to cover the cost of living well beyond the average life expectancy and the targeted amount of savings at retirement age must be great enough to ensure with a reasonably high level of certainty that the actual amount on hand at retirement is at least the bare minimum necessary to get by on.

    A popular estimate of the term of retirement for which individuals must plan is 30 years. Saving enough to cover the cost of a 30-year retirement is a much greater burden than saving for an 18-year retirement, but planning on a shorter retirement exposes individuals to tremendous risk. It also exposes taxpayers to tremendous risk, as individuals who outlive their savings will undoubtedly require some form of public assistance to make ends meet and are likely to become wards of the state when they become physically incapable of caring for themselves.

    An individual who bases their retirement saving on living to the age of 96 but only lives to be 82 will have forgone a lot of pleasures in life, such as travel, fine dining and better vehicles, that they could otherwise have enjoyed. But many individuals just don’t have the level of income required to support the saving rate necessary to amass the wealth required to hedge against the downside of terminal wealth dispersion and the possibility of living well past the average life expectancy. For them it’s not a matter of forgone consumption, it’s a matter of going through life with the knowledge that they are likely to spend their golden years living in abject poverty and that that will be their reward for 40 or 50 years of hard work. And it gets worse!

    Some economists now believe that within 15 years or so, given the current rate of health care inflation, 100% of Social Security benefits will be spent on medical expenses: Medicare Parts B and D premiums, copayments, uncovered expenses and medigap insurance premiums. If that becomes the case, anyone without substantial savings or a defined benefit pension will be looking for public assistance the day after they retire. Although this is probably a worse case scenario, there is a general consensus that individuals retiring today will need to set aside approximately $180,000 for medical expenses not covered by basic Medicare.

    With the situation already at this state, adding private Social Security accounts to the mix would be like throwing gas on a fire, as individual Social Security accounts carry the same risks as other individual retirement accounts. Those who have tried to kill Social Security since its inception find private accounts very appealing. But, not so coincidentally, most of them seem to be in the enviable position of not needing Social Security to support their retirement. More recently, younger workers, too, have come to oppose Social Security, but not for the same reason as the traditional opponents. Young workers may be crushed by the growing burden of Social Security and may never receive any benefits from the system. Those who oppose Social Security simply because it’s a social program should be expending their efforts on reforming it rather than killing it.

    If Social Security had been managed like a pension plan rather than the ilconceived system it is, with today’s workers paying for yesterday’s workers’ retirement, its current situation wouldn’t be so dire. Indeed, it might very well be a fully funded, functional system. CalPERS and other large public employee retirement plans have operated successfully for decades, with success being defined as being able to meet their obligations, not having an adverse effect on the financial markets, no scandalous events attributable to malfeasance by the plans’ sponsors and being free of influence from elected officials. There’s no reason that Social Security can’t also be managed in such a manner. It would literally take an act of Congress to do this, but the hardest part for Congress would be letting the system run without their interfering with its operation.

    Passing off the burden of retirement to individuals was a great deal for corporations but it’s a very poor deal for most individuals, and extending individual accounts to include the Social Security system would only make a bad situation worse. It’s not a poor deal for all individuals because there will be some who can afford to save a substantial portion of their income and whose holding periods will coincide with bull markets, thus putting their wealth in the upper range of their terminal wealth dispersion, and who also live a long, healthy life. They will be the ones who benefit from over-saving and living beyond the average life expectancy, but they may end up forfeiting a portion of their wealth in the form of taxes to support the less fortunate. I don’t believe that is what the public expects from a well-conceived system.

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    Source by Mike Kennedy

    Views: 0

  • Holistic Healthcare versus Traditional Western Medicine

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    The Western medicine community recently asked the question: Will Alternative Healthcare, a.k.a. Holistic, Metaphysical, Energy or Mind, Body, Spirit healing and Western Medicine (WM) merge? This question implies there is reason to wonder and/or we need to consider the benefits a merger might create. The consideration of merging Holistic, Metaphysical, Energy or Mind, Body, Spirit healing and Western Medicine is analogues to comparing apples to oranges. The only comparison between apples and oranges is that they are both fruit–but the comparison ends there. Holistic, Metaphysical, Energy or Mind, Body, Spirit Healing and Western Medicine is diametrically polar opposites with nothing in common, except the subject (you). I will explain.

    In order to understand the ideology of Western Medicine, you need to examine the language used by doctors and researchers. Their choice of words reveals their belief systems and the models they use to understand the way they think healing works. When observing the state of Western Medicine and the unprecedented influence of pharmaceuticals and over-the-counter (OTC) drugs, an interesting paradox arises. The drug companies claim that pharmaceuticals and OTC can do wonders for people: lower cholesterol, end clinical depression, reverse osteoporosis, eliminate allergies, cure cancer, cure MS, calm children and many other similar promises.

    If prescription or OTC drugs are so good for people, where are all the healthy medicated customers? The truth is, there aren’t, any. There’s nobody taking twelve prescriptions or OTC drugs with a clean bill of health. In fact, the more prescriptions a person takes, the worse their overall health. And if you approach the healthiest people you can find and ask what prescription drugs or OTC drugs they’re taking in order to be so healthy, they’ll give you a confused look: Healthy people don’t take prescription or OTC drugs!

    This sort of language is not uncommon from researchers in Western Medicine. They perceive the human body as a battleground on which wars are waged against invaders (viruses, bacterial infections and tumors). Beginning with the Victorian era, Western society has become addicted to quick fixes and results with no effort. Western Medicine has in some instances provided this result. When Western Medicine doesn’t produce a ‘quick fix’ result the answer is: “Sorry, it couldn’t be helped–the surgery was a success, the patient died.” It is interesting to note the AMA reports a dismal success rate–approximately 250,000 people die each year due to misdiagnosis and/or the treatment does little or nothing to improve the person’s health. In other words these people didn’t die due to an illness they died due to the wrong treatment.

    Western Medicine’s theory and doctrines fail to recognize that diseases are not separate from the person. In fact every disease can be more accurately called an expression of the patient’s lifestyle, beliefs, and energies. Cancer is not a tumor, for example: it is a systemic disorder that can only truly be cured by helping to support the body, not by attacking it with chemical bombs or knives. The tumor is merely one physical expression of the systemic disorder, and simply removing the tumor does nothing to cure the disease. The body is designed to heal itself–given it has the proper care–nutrition, herbal supplements, spiritual and emotional well-being.

    The body is designed to heal itself provided it has the proper support to do its job. Traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) is based on a concept of balanced qi (pronounced “chee”), or vital energy, that is believed to flow throughout the body. Qi is proposed to regulate a person’s spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical balance and to be influenced by the opposing forces of yin (negative energy) and yang (positive energy). Disease is proposed to result from the flow of qi being disrupted and yin and yang becoming imbalanced. Among the components of TCM are herbal and nutritional therapy, restorative physical exercises, meditation, acupuncture, and remedial massage.

    Holistic, Metaphysical, Energy or Mind, Body, Spirit healing has existed since the beginning of time amid religious beliefs and practices, along with the mystery, superstition, fear, and misunderstanding. Holistic Healing is now becoming recognized regardless of what anyone chooses to believe or think. Ask almost anyone about their spiritual well-being and they will probably tell you, “Yeah, I am a spiritual person, I go to church frequently.” Therein, the confusion arises out of the association of healing with religion. The majority of people, including religious leaders, do not understand the difference.

    Definition: “HEAL” 1. To restore to health or soundness, 2. To set right, repair, 3. To restore a person to spiritual wholeness, 4. To become whole and sound, to return to health.

    Definition: “SPIRIT” 1. The vital principle or animating force within living beings, Incorporeal consciousness. There are about twelve more elaborations mostly to do with various religious implications.

    Definition: “RELIGION” 1. Belief in and reverence for a supernatural power or powers regarded as creator and governor of the universe, 2. A set of beliefs, values and practices based on the teachings of a religious doctrine.

    Thus, based on Western Medicine’s common interpretations of how things ‘ARE’, many paradoxes are created. The resultant effect is confusion and un-wellness. The Truth, as Carl Jung and others have carefully worded in their writing, is this: Every Thing in the universe is Energy and Consciousness. How anyone thinks or feels about that Fact cannot change it. The purpose of All religions is the recognition that humans have a part of themselves that is not physical and there is a need to explore and experience this aspect of themselves. Part of the intent is to discover one’s purpose and to live in the best way possible. Another part of that goal also includes the attainment of Truth and Spiritual Wellness. However, the result of religious teachings with regard to our Spiritual health has been an abysmal failure. If the most important aspect of our being is our Spiritual self, and it has been neglected, it is a miracle we have existed this long.

    Many churches are in a state of extreme confusion in an attempt to avoid accepting the “Truth.” The greatest struggle is how to incorporate all the now known knowledge and assimilate it into the religious dogma and theology. The problem is the impossibility of reconciling the obvious flaws in most theology and doctrine. The obvious shortcomings and how political and nationalistic and other special interests and agendas have resulted in a history filled with disappointment, tragedy, confusion and religious wars.

    In many cultures it has always been thought and/or known that we are spiritual beings, the biggest exception is in western industrialized cultures that we believe we are people who happen to have a soul. Eastern philosophy believes we are a soul first, housed in this thing called a ‘body.’ The most beautiful and simple interpretation of how everything ‘IS’ can be found in the Native American tradition. “Everything in the universe is Spirit, each thing in it is of the same Spirit and it is all Connected.” This is exactly what we are beginning to understand in science and quantum physics, that everything in the universe is made of the same thing and has a consciousness about it. The two things that frustrate scientists the most is the fact that all these

    things operate across time, space and dimensions they do not yet understand, and the ability of things to operate on inter-dimensional and multi-dimensional levels. A high degree of new understanding about the science and physics of what spiritual really means is now mostly coming from independent researchers. High-tech and aerospace research physicists and scientists, all seem to have a more concise and accurate understanding of Spirit and the Spiritual than those from a theological background.

    The Reality and The Truth of Spirit–In plain language, there is only One God or Universal Energy that Is Everything. There is only One Consciousness. We are only one individuated expression of The One. All the dogma, theology and religious beliefs anyone chooses to pile on this truth is commonly referred to as Bunk. It is the lack of true knowledge and the application of these distortions, which have been the source of all emotional, physical and spiritual problems. Spirit is alive, it is something that is lived and experienced, the surest way to destroy or suppress it is to organize it and institutionalize it.

    Spiritual Experiences teach us: Everything we think or feel affects oneself and others. We need to realize every feeling–anger, fear, hate, sadness, judgment–are mind generated emotions and need to be modified or eliminated. Left to fester–anger, fear, hate, sadness, judgment, creates physical reactions. For every physical reaction, a.k.a. symptoms–i.e. colds, cancer, MS, and everything from A to Z, there is a direct link to mind generated emotions. When these mind generated emotions are eliminated and the wounds created from long term and dysfunctional expressions are healed, the physical manifestation labeled as illness by Western Medicine is eliminated.

    The bottom line is Health and Well-Being is affected by two factions–Doctors and Ministers. Doctors are trained as mechanics who work on the physical mechanism. They are in the Business of “Treatment.” They are Not Trained in the “Art of Healing”. Most doctors do not even understand the most rudimentary concepts of Healing. Most do not realize how they can produce damage and even induce death sentences on their patients.

    There is little difference in the effects produced by an intentional damaging curse or a prayer prayed improperly, bad advice or simply some random negative thought. Ministers are trained in traditional theosophical dogmatic perceptions specific to the cultural religious views they ascribe to. Most people have little concept about True Spirituality or how the universe really operates. As a consequence they convey misinformation, half-truths, superstitions and fears along with a multitude of associated damaging information into a person’s consciousness. The result of which is Confusion and Paradox–which leads to distress, disease and un-wellness.

    Both the good in our lives and the dis-eases we have are the results of our experiences, conditioning and beliefs. It is the experiences, conditioning and beliefs that are counter to our true nature that causes the damage. No matter how dire a client’s predicament seems to be, I Know if they are ‘Willing’ to do the emotional and spiritual work of releasing old habits, beliefs and forgiving, everything can be healed. The word ‘incurable’ used by Western Medicine really only means that the person can not be ‘cured’ by ‘outer’ methods and that they must Go Within to effect their healing. The condition was created as a way to cope–it came from within and can be healed from within. Reference: Heal Your Body, Louise L. Hay

    Since Holistic/Metaphysical Healthcare focuses on supporting the Mind, Body, Spirit to heal itself as it is designed to do and Western Medicine perceives the human body as a battleground on which wars are waged with chemical bombs and scalpels against invaders, how can these divergent ideologies be merged?

    The answer: They can’t be–i.e. water and vinegar doesn’t mix–it is metaphysically impossible. Likewise, it is metaphysically impossible to merge Holistic, Metaphysical, Energy or Mind, Body, Spirit healing and Western Medicine. Anyone who would consider such a merger does not understand the laws of Holistic, Metaphysical, Energy or Mind, Body, Spirit healing.

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    Source by Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD

    Views: 0

  • Warning Regarding Holly Mann’s Honest Riches

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    I like Holly Mann’s E-book on how to make money online and if I had to go back in time and buy it again, I would. Or … okay, I admit it. I absolutely love her book.

    So why am I writing a warning?

    First of all, you might be wondering what I’m talking about. Who is Holly, and what E-book?

    Holly Mann is a single mom and a retired “disabled” army veteran in her mid twenties. (I have no idea what her disability is, she looks pretty healthy and strong to me and you should see her as a contortionist!) She is an American living in Thailand with her toddler son, Josh.

    On her website she tells the story about how she went from $0.00 to $12,000 per month in online income. In other words, she started from virtually nothing but now she makes a killing online, working from home.

    Holly wrote an E-book which teaches anyone how to work at from home to make money on the Internet. This is something that even the complete beginner can understand. When I first read it, I was completely clueless – not only about how to make money online, but on the Internet in general. I didn’t even really know what a website was.

    If you have heard of the “Rich Jerk” you may have heard of Holly. Holly originally read the Rich Jerk’s E-book, but then wrote her own, under the motto to “No thank you Rich Jerk – Honest Riches!” Holly promotes honest and ethical ways to make money online which are successful and also helpful to others. In other words, she teaches you to earn money by providing services and products to people that will help them. She doesn’t teach you to fool people out of their money. People who operate this way always win out in the end.

    The money-back guarantee and the low price of her E-book is one reason why it is very easy to buy her E-Book and try out what she teaches.

    Holly is also human.

    Holly’s E-book teaches the complete beginner how to make money online. It includes methods on how to make money with no start-up cash, how to earn money by promoting other people’s products, how to use advertisement to earn money on your own website or blog (and even how to do it for free), how to write and submit articles which will result in online income, how to create your first website, and a lot more. Her E-book is also full of links to websites and software which will save you hundreds of hours in getting off the launching pad. And she throws in plenty of free bonuses.

    So what’s the warning?

    Well, when I first wrote this article (years ago) there were two points in her E-Book where she suggested methods of making money online that had been workable when she wrote them. But times had changed slightly so there were a couple of points I thought people should know.

    However, by now Holly’s E-Book has been revised and even those points are clarified extremely well.

    So there is no warning. In fact, I have recently reviewed the 2008 edition of Holly’s E-Book. It is not released yet but Holly sent it to me in an email.

    It is a virtual treasure. (By the way, the price will go up when she released the new version, probably in mid-August 2008. But if you buy the current version at the current lower price, you will get a copy of the 2008 version for free when it arrives.)

    Holly’s 2008 Honest Riches III contains 277 pages of very easy to read information. Everything you need to know about Internet Marketing is covered. And what makes Holly stand out from the crowd is that she uses such simple terms and explains things so clearly, that anyone can understand it. I found simple explanations of concepts that I had been searching for for ages.

    She also explains everything that is vital in making money online so that you will be clear-headed in taking every step you need to take, without wasting your time in confusion and blunders. Holly gives you the step-by-step instructions and procedures to take so that you can start making money online and reaching your goals.

    If there is only one thing you ever purchase to help you learn to earn your living (and more) online, I can honestly say, without a doubt that it is this E-Book. As a rule, I do not promote products in the field of Internet Marketing that I have not used and loved. There is just too much low-quality (or worse) garbage out there.

    I have heard some people ask if Holly is a real person. Holly is a friend of mine. I have taught her to write poetry.

    One of the things that makes her stand out from the crowd is her willingness to help people. Time and again, you see her going out of her way to give extra assistance and advice to people who want to succeed in making money online.

    All said, Holly’s E-book is still the best I know of, for teaching the complete beginner how to make money online.

    If there were only one purchase I could make in that field, it would be Holly’s E-book. And without it, I would still be swimming in confusion, or would have given up long ago.

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    Source by Anna Vera Williams

    Views: 0

  • The Psychology of Drug Addiction

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    There is, of course, a reason why people become addicted to drugs. The psychological aspect of addiction is extremely powerful. The human mind is a marvellous thing, and the thoughts we have can become all-ruling in our lives.

    Because we are these complex creatures, with thinking and reasoning capabilities, we can often discount the mind as only a small part of what we are. This is totally wrong, and in fact the psychiatric implications of drug use (or more properly drug abuse) are ever present, and can cause major disruption in the life of an addict.

    So just what exactly are we talking about here? The psychological aspects of the mind, and how it can control our lives, has been well known to professionals in the field for many years. For example, if one is the child of an addict, be it drugs, alcohol, or whatever, your own mind will rapidly justify to you the use of these substances as being OK. Let’s face it, you love your parents and if they are doing it then it’s got to be allright and can’t possibly be bad for you. You are in effect brainwashing yourself.

    Of course, as we know from proven scientific research, it is a fact that drugs have an effect on the brain. It becomes a brain problem. Drug abusers brains get so used to having these chemicals in them that sooner or later, depending on the substance, they actually “talk” themselves into needing those chemicals to function, and so the brain gives the body various (withdrawal) symptoms in order to get those chemicals.

    So what can be done to try to beat the psychological side of drug addiction? Getting help is a tried and tested method. Talking to a trained drug abuse counsellor, or other health professional is agood start to finding ways to overcomes your addiction.

    Wherever you are, there are many excellent programs available to those with a problem with substance misuse. The best of these will treat both the mind and the body. Because, as we already know, when you initially try to reduce your dependence on drugs, your mind will give your body a variety of withdrawal symptoms in order to get its “fix”. However, with professional help it is possible to successfully break the hold that drug addiction has on your body, your mind, and your life.

    It’s not strictly necessary to go into a rehabilitation facility. However it is proven that this method is very effective. These facilities can be expensive, as also can psychologists/psychiatrists. However, most long term drug abusers find that if they work it out they are spending over a period of time far more on their habit than the cure would cost, and the benefits to your wallet can easily be calculated. Even if it’s impossible to put a price on your future wellbeing.

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    Source by Chris Haycock

    Views: 0

  • The Husband and Wife Relationship – Understand the Dynamics

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    The relationship between a husband and wife are usually complex, and many married couples do not understand the dynamics of the relationship they are in this is the cause of many failing relationships. For a really strong marriage they both need to understand how the dynamics of a husband and wife relationship works. The key to the question of dynamics is to appreciate just how men and woman are poles apart not only physically but more importantly emotionally and mentally.

    These differences are best illustrated when you consider the way a husband and wife relationship approaches the matter of problem solving, which shows how they approach problems in completely different ways

    The wife will typically talk about the problem with friends and family alike, explore different angles for a solution then combine that research with input from her group of family and friends. This may take some time because women in general like to discuss various solutions and how they feel and relate to the problem, before deciding on any one answer.

    The husband on the other hand is more likely tom be a solitary thinker and by virtue of that will be unlikely to discuss the problem with anyone till he has decided on the solution to the problem.

    In the husband and wife relationship, problems can be caused by their opposite approach to problem solving, the husband could think that she is taking the problem lightly by talking too much to her friends and family when in his opinion she should be thinking rather than talking about the solution. Conversely the wife may be concerned that he is not addressing their problems because he is not talking about it, when in reality the reason he is not talking about it is that it is constantly on his mind but he has not yet come up with an answer to discuss.

    Some of the time a wife can talk about a problem she may have, simply to vent her feelings about a certain matter, to lessen the tension they feel rather than to get an opinion on how to solve the issue. In that way she express her thoughts in front of her friends who in the main will empathize with her while not necessarily offering their opinion as to the solution. Men on the other hand rarely talks about a problem unless he wants advice or help to reach a solution to the problem

    The danger is in this situation is that a husband might give his wife his considered opinion as to the solution to a problem, thinking that he is solving things in the way he thinks he is expected to, while his wife is thinking that he does want to listen to the problem and just giving an answer to put an end to the matter.

    Though not totally accurate the above example illustrates how the usual differences between men’s and women’s approach to problem solving work out. Understanding they way in which the different genders react can help to stop arguments about the way things are done, consider your partners needs before you act.

    The Husband and wife relationship understand the dynamics and you will builder a stronger and longer lasting relationship.

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    Source by Tom Janic

    Views: 0

  • Relationships: Can A Relationship Bring Up Someone’s Attachment Trauma?

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    When someone gets into a relationship, they may believe that they have finally met their match. What they have been through in the past, when it comes to this area of their life, is then going to be well and truly over.

    At one point, it will have been as though they were on a stormy sea and now, they will be on calm waters. There is then going to be no more bumps – the path in front of them will be completely flat.

    An Unexpected Outcome

    However, although this may be how one currently sees this area of their life, it doesn’t mean that their external world will match up with what is taking place in their mind as time goes by. What they could find is that their partner ends up pulling away as time goes by or that they come up too strong.

    If the former takes place, one could end up feeling rejected and abandoned, and what may follow is the feeling of being worthless. Yet, if the latter takes place, they could end up feeling smothered and trapped, which could result in them feeling powerless.

    Confusion

    If something like this was to take place, the first thing that one could do is to blame their partner. Instead of stepping back and reflecting on what is taking place, what is going on externally will be seen as the issue.

    As a result of this, their partner could end up reacting negatively to what they say, creating even more disharmony. Another thing that could take place is that the relationship could simply come to an end.

    A Similar Scenario

    At the same time, while one of the occurrences above could be what has taken place, it could be slightly different. So, instead of them feeling rejected and abandoned because their partner has actually pulled away, they could feel this way if their partner has a lot going on at work, for instance, and is unable to spend as much time with them as they usually would.

    And, while they could be feeling smothered and trapped due to their partner coming on too strong, they could feel this way whenever they express their needs. No matter what is going on, then, it will lead to a fair amount of internal discomfort.

    The Early Stages

    If one was fine before they got into a relationship with this person, they may wonder what is going on. But, while they may have been fine up until this point, there is also the chance that it is not this black and white.

    They may have only been seeing this person for a few weeks and had number of intense experiences during this time. Perhaps there was time when they didn’t hear from them for a little while, with this resulting in them feeling fearful and as though they had been rejected.

    Attached

    This may have been a time when they simply reacted to how they were feeling, doing what they could to get the other person to respond. Alternatively, they may have pushed down how they felt and tried to act normal.

    Their need to make a good impression at this point may have stopped them from criticising the other person. Based on how they felt, the last thing they would have wanted was for them to stop talking to them altogether.

    One Outlook

    One way of looking at what took place earlier on and/or what is taking place now that they are in a relationship would be to say that one is simply overacting. Ergo, the best thing for them to do would be to make sure that they don’t get caught up their ‘irrational’ feelings.

    One could end up coming to believe that they need to be mindful of what is taking place in their head, due to the fact that their thoughts create their feelings. It is then going to be all about what is going on up top.

    A Deeper Look

    Another way of looking at this would be to say that the reason all these feelings have been coming up is because they have become emotionally attached to another person, which has allowed their early wounds to be brought up to the surface. Consciously, one may not see the other person as their caregiver, but unconsciously, this can be exactly how they see them.

    At a deeper level, part of them will look towards their partner to give them what their caregivers didn’t give them, and when this doesn’t happen, how they felt during their early years will come back up to the surface. And not only will how they felt during their early years be triggered when their partner doesn’t behave in a certain way, this can also take place even if this part of them assumes that something has taken place.

    Deep Pain

    There is then going to be no need for clear evidence to be provided in order for their early wounds to be opened up. What complicates this even further is that although this part of them will want to receive what it didn’t receive all those years ago, experiencing the same experiences over and over again will be what feels safe.

    When their wounds are opened up, they can end up feeling like a needy and dependent child. Perhaps their early years were a time in their life when their needs were rarely, if ever met, meaning that they would have been spent a lot of time feeling rejected and abandoned.

    Awareness

    The years will have passed since that stage of their life but the trauma that they experienced will still be within them. If one can relate to this and they want to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support.

    This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

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    Source by Oliver JR Cooper

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  • A Review of the Protege Financial Multi-Level Marketing Program

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    The company Protege Financial first registered their domain name in June 2006, although this is the first time I’ve heard of this company. They are based out of Valencia, CA. I’m very familiar with that area of Orange County being a Southern California native myself. The main reason this company exists is to provide their clients with investment vehicles that will not go away despite the bad economy.

    The partners that make up this company are Michelle Seward, Scott Foulk and Mark Francovich which claim to have 4 decades of investment and financial know how behind them. The owners also state they launched Protege Financial because they really care about their clients and set this company up with an MLM Compensation Plan to help spread the word across the United States. Apparently they officially just launched July 4th 2009.

    Apparently these 3 partners have already helped thousands of clients. When I visited their website they do have their actual office address, phone and fax number prominently visible on their website, so it appears they are not hiding. One of the main products they offer their clients are “Tax Free Income” vehicles that people can use to help hedge the low wages they could experience when they retire.

    When I visit the Protege Financial website, I don’t see any credential logos like CFP (Certified Financial Planner) or BBB (Better Business Bureau) or anything like that nor any Internet Trust Logos. I’m not a professional Website Designer and I could throw this website up within one night easy. The company that designed their site is based out of Idaho. Also I couldn’t find details on how much reps get paid for referrals or the MLM Compensation Structure.

    In addition, the website just had those generic type paid videos which appear to be a standard voiceover. I’ve heard the same voice on many other voiceovers used for other companies so they don’t sound original or sound like they come from the owners. And no pictures of the owners on the website, not even with their bio statements.

    This being the end of August 2009 and the fact that they launched launched July 4th 2009, I assume this site would have been completed by now. Add this to the fact that it is an investment company to be honest almost terrifies me. Money is hard to come by these days, and on the occasion when I am able to save a grand or so I like to put it in a Mutual Fund setup by my bank which is a major bank in the US.

    Protege Financial does offer a free consultation. When you get to the website, all you need to do is fill out a form and someone will end up calling you back. And if you live in or are visiting Southern California, they have Career Opportunity Meetings every Thursday evening from 7:00 to 9:00pm (as of the time of this writing) Pacific Time.

    I noticed a testimonials section on the Protege Financial website. It had 7 testimonials with just two initials under each name. Finally the company offers a free eBook just by filling out your Name, Email, City and State. This eBook is supposed to educate you on the basic types of Investment Vehicles that are out there.

    I’m not accusing this company of being a scam. They could very well be experienced financial planners with little experience on establishing credibility on the internet with trust logos, pictures of themselves, write-ups of successful reps in their company, etc.. But this is even more important in Network Marketing. I would be extremely cautious here. If anyone has had any experiences, good or bad with this company, we would like to hear about them and you can post your comments on our blog.

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    Source by Brian Garvin

    Views: 0

  • Negotiation Tactics and The Poison of Emotion

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    “Don’t take it personally… it’s just business.”

    No doubt you have heard these words spoken by an opposing party to a business deal. Many people have heard these words, and they usually followed a bone-crushing blow from the other side. As if to make any wound acceptable, they remind you they wouldn’t do it on a personal level, but only in a business context.

    As if the two are separable.

    The reality is, personal and business are really not separable, and this is why: when you negotiate a deal, you do not negotiate with a retail shop, or a construction crew, or a brand of product – you negotiate with a person. And that makes it personal, every time.

    Because negotiations are personal, there usually are emotions involved. Humans are emotional creatures; in fact, we are the only emotional creatures. We are unique from the rest of the created world in that we have wills, intellects and emotions. These three trademarks of the human psyche are integral to any negotiation, and the more value involved, the more these three human traits play a role.

    When emotions take the stage in a negotiation, things can get skewed very quickly, and what began as a logical journey to a reasonable conclusion becomes an intense entanglement of anger, pride, and despondency.

    When people get angry, they let reason go to the wind. “Okay, fine,” they say, “if he is going to treat me like I’m stupid, I’ll make sure he knows I’m not.” Then an unwise, unproductive decision is made.

    When a negotiation becomes a showdown of who can prove they are getting the better deal, there’s a battle of pride, and the two sides just continue to try to top the other and the negotiation goes nowhere.

    When someone feels like the breath was just knocked out of them, like when the opposing party downplays or even criticizes what the other party thought was the most valuable element of the deal, a hurt, dejected emotion surfaces and there is an underlying resentment from there on through the rest of the process.

    Emotions are poison to negotiations.

    A skilled negotiator who understands how to apply effective negotiation tactics will do all she can to leave emotions at the door… and lock the door behind her until an agreement is reached.

    In many negotiations, emotions are expected to arise, and some situations almost guarantee them. When two people who have lived in their house for thirty years, reared their children there, made lifelong friendships with the neighbors, and remodeled the home with their own blood and sweat and tears, realize they are at a point where they must sell, they are not going to sell easily. You can bet these folks are going to have some serious emotions when accepting an offer to buy their home. They are selling a part of themselves and may need some serious motivation, which could be an irresistible, bullet proof, over-asking price offer from a buyer.

    And this can mean a tough negotiation ahead.

    High octane deals can create problems, but there are negotiation tactics to deal with them. Here are a few to consider:

    • Understand the other party may be putting on a front

    Some of the nicest, most pleasant people become monsters at the negotiating table. Why? Many reasons. For one, certain people believe you are supposed to be rude and hard-nosed in a negotiation. Yes, they are wrong, but telling them about it is useless. The important thing to remember is you must absorb the abrasiveness and harsh language with grace. Let them be as assinne as they want, but don’t let it affect you. Even if you are burning inside because the buyer just told you the mural your friend painted on the building side will be painted over as soon as the recording ink dries, DON’T LET THEM KNOW IT. Emotion is fine; expressing emotion in a business dealing is weakness.

    You must be strong whether you feel it or not, because it is not so much how you feel that counts, it is how the other side perceives how you feel.

    • View everything from the standpoint of fair market value

    The fact that you hand planned those deck boards and involved your kids through the whole project really doesn’t matter. It may make the deck more valuable to you, but it doesn’t to your buyer. A deck is worth what the fair market value for decks is. Nothing more. In a similar way, the fact that it took you a full year of pursuit to secure that particular client doesn’t affect the value to the buyer of your business. The client is worth the fair market value of their revenue generation for the business. Nothing more.

    Leaving personal emotions out of the deal will help a negotiator to view the value and transferability of his assets properly, and encourage a healthy and balanced negotiation.

    • Have a third party do the negotiating

    Usually big corporations involved in mergers and acquisitions and buy-outs employ the services of an attorney or attorneys to handle the negotiations. This is partly because of the technical know-how required in complicated deals, but it is more than that. Corporate execs know that to have an outside, neutral person to handle the dealing removes any personal element (or at least most of it) from the negotiations. The attorney’s job is not on the line, nor is his standing in the company. But the executive’s is, and there is power in removing those personal elements which can make a party weaker.

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    Source by Rhett Kniep

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