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Distinguishing Drug Abuse From Drug Addiction
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Though “drug abuse” and “drug addiction” are often used interchangeably, in reality the terms refer to two distinct behavior patterns. An individual can abuse or misuse drugs without being inevitably addicted to them. Abuse or misuse involves the use of drugs defying the culturally acceptable standards or medically prescribed doses to attain a certain effect. The substances abused may be legal, such as alcohol or prescription drugs, or illegal, like heroin and other street drugs which have no medicinal value.

On the other hand, drug addiction, or compulsive drug use, refers to an uncontrollable desire to use a drug in spite of being aware of harmful psychological and physiological effects that they can have on the body. Addiction is often characterized by an insatiable appetite for substances by increasing the dosage, leading to a complete dependence on them.

Since abuse and addiction are two distinct concepts, their causes are unique as well. Abuse is generally considered to be more complicated but it is not necessarily triggered by any motivational factor, unlike addiction which is caused by a powerful motivational force. Therefore, in most of the cases, abuse may not always result in addiction, but addiction can certainly lead to abuse.

Impact of drug abuse and addiction on the brain

It has been observed that both drug abuse and drug addiction have similar effects on mind and body. People often view abuse and addiction as a moral weakness or character flaw. One of the common myths surrounding drug use is that quitting it is directly linked to behavioral changes. In reality, addiction is a disease which alters the brain functions, hijacking the natural motivational control circuits. Thus, quitting is simply not a matter of choice or willpower. Though, the decision to use the drug initially might be voluntary, changes in the brain structure due to repeated drug use can inhibit someone’s self-control and decision-making ability, causing intense cravings.

Experts attribute the inability to refrain from drug use to these changes in the brain. However, modern medical advancements have led to the development of an array of treatment and rehabilitation options to combat the disastrous effects of addiction and help abusers take control of their lives. Studies have shown that a combination of medications and behavioral therapy can boost the recovery process with minimal withdrawal effects.

Possible reasons leading to drug abuse and addiction

For those who are dependent on illegal substances, it can be difficult to know whether they have crossed the limit. Here are some possible reasons that can trigger drug abuse or addiction:
- Connecting socially: A strong desire driven by an urge to fit into a certain group could lead people toward drugs.
- Dealing with problems in life: Continuous drug use can get individuals accustomed to it, and soon it might become the only way to escape from problems and challenges.
- Using drugs to combat other issues: Serious concerns, such as panic attacks or chronic pain, can cause dependence on drugs, until people discover healthier alternative methods to counter such problems.
- Strong influence of any drug: Frequent use of drugs triggers dependence on them. Thus, what started as a voluntary choice may slowly transform into a physical and psychological need.
Leading a drug-free life

Many families and individuals have suffered great losses due to addiction to drugs. Fortunately, there is hope, though the battle to eliminate addiction and regain sobriety is challenging. There are numerous treatment strategies that can go a long way in helping people come out of their addiction-related problems.

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Source by Barbara Odozi

Views: 0
February 9, 2020
The 7 Traits of an Exceptional & Successful Entrepreneur

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How often have you either referred to or considered the expression, “Success is a journey and not a Destination?” Probably many times, yet often being in a hurry to get there, we forget that success is not an end unto itself, but is instead an ongoing process.

Though some people seem to have the Midas touch and easily turn everything to gold, most of us have to give our endeavors lots of time, effort and the sweat of our brow before seeing things come to fruition. The simple truth is that the majority of us are simply not born leaders, but become leaders by who we are and the actions we take. Consequently, whether or not you’re an established entrepreneur or just starting out on your journey, there are particular traits you’ll usually find operating within the exceptional entrepreneur. In fact there are 7 particular traits you’ll generally discover deeply embedded within the exceptional and successful businessperson.

If you’ve already taken the plunge as an entrepreneur, you know that it takes a great deal of planning, development and strategic marketing to succeed. At any given time, there are changes to be considered and new directions to examine. In which case, whether you’re the CEO, CFO, Chief Marketer or Chief Solutions Officer of your company, your journey to success is probably full of trials and tribulations.

To support you in your journey to success, be willing to open your mind and sense of reasoning as you consider whether these traits are part of your driving force. If they are not yet ingrained within you, I recommend that you give them some thought.

THE 7 TRAITS TO SUCCESS

1) Successful Entrepreneurs Gain the Respect of their Peers

One of the first and most obvious characteristics you’ll see operating in an exceptional entrepreneur is an equitable and unbiased disposition . Plain and simple the successful entrepreneur recognizes that no one is above or below. With an attitude of respect for others, the successful entrepreneur gains the respect from everyone they encounter. Strategies, attitudes and methods filter down to each person and reflect on all actions and activities. A successful entrepreneur gives everyone the space to be great. No matter how effective or beneficial your expertise, becoming a successful entrepreneur requires building up of your character muscles, traits and habits, which correspondingly make your dreams a reality.

2) Successful Entrepreneurs Believe and Trust in Themselves

The savvy entrepreneur is good at trusting his or her own ideas and instincts. Starting out as an entrepreneur requires persistence, determination and a high level of self-discipline. Continuing as a successful entrepreneur requires even more persistence, determination and self-discipline. The wise and successful entrepreneur knows this and works hard at developing their level of confidence. If you have a strong code of ethics and believe in yourself, then your ideas can work. Having the desire and passion are the first steps on your journey; getting there requires believing in yourself.

3) Successful Entrepreneurs Follow a Plan

The successful entrepreneur follows a plan. Haphazard or trial and error have no place for the triumphant entrepreneur, for no one gets to his or her destination without a map or a guide to follow. That doesn’t mean you won’t go off course if another road seems better, but it’s still more effective to have a plan in place. Most successful entrepreneurs start out by writing a basic business plan that acts as the impetus and guide for their endeavors. It doesn’t have to be fancy or lengthy but it should include marketing strategies, goals, intentions, ideas and why you can do better than your competition. A business plan should be reviewed and updated periodically for each new idea stirs and inspires other ideas.

4) Successful Entrepreneurs Think Creatively

Successful entrepreneurs are not afraid of thinking creatively. Whether a business idea has already been tried makes no difference to the exceptional entrepreneur. He or she sees better ways of doing things and knows that every idea can be expanded upon, made better, enhanced or broadened . The successful entrepreneur is willing to think outside or the proverbial box, which means using imagination, trying new things and expanding on a vision. The savvy entrepreneur pays careful attention as to whether a particular strategy is working. If after giving it his or her best shot the entrepreneur realizes the particular strategy isn’t working, they know there’s no point in continuing to invest energy, time and effort in the strategy. They move on to another approach and idea.

5)Successful Entrepreneurs Explore Their Exceptional Skills

Successful entrepreneurs realize that we each have our strengths and weaknesses as well as a multitude of skills and talents. Successful people ask themselves often what skills they have that no one shares in quite the same way. An exceptional and successful entrepreneur explores their particular skills until they find the ones that match most closely with their ideal. They don’t try to be and do everything. If the successful entrepreneur needs help, they’re willing to find someone who can do it better, and allows in the support. The successful entrepreneur stays open to change for they recognize that as they move forward, doors open in unexpected places that carry them to their next level of success.

6) Successful Entrepreneurs Envision Their Success

The successful entrepreneur gives time to envisioning how they want their business to look and how they want it to be. Intention is a powerful and dynamic tool. For those who are not inclined towards intention and visualization, talk to a successful athlete and you’ll discover that before each sporting event, the successful athlete envisions exactly how he or she wants things to turn out. Imagine what it will feel like when you’ve reached a particular set of goals. Get in touch with the feelings, you’d have as a successful entrepreneur. Practice and conceive of the sense of empowerment and the joy of having succeeded. The successful entrepreneur knows they have the power to live life the way they want, but to make it a reality, they know it has to be seen first.

7) Successful Entrepreneurs Never Give Up

Giving up is never in the vocabulary of the successful entrepreneur. Of course there may be days when a successful entrepreneur feels discouraged or disappointed, but giving up is not an option. Having faith, trust, confidence and determination are the qualities needed for the successful entrepreneur. To keep their focus on track, they seek out the support of those that know them, encourage them and bring out their natural enthusiasm. The smart and successful entrepreneur realizes that there will be good days and not so good days. Being a successful entrepreneur requires accepting the ebbs and flows of business for it is in fact what separates the exceptional and successful entrepreneur from the one who gives up far too soon.

© 2004

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Source by Robert Moment

Views: 0

February 8, 2020
Student Loan Debt Clock Is Ticking Away At 1.57 Trillion Dollars On Election Day 2016

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The academic bubble is ready to burst, all the while academics in their infinite wisdom tell us they know best how to run our society and civilization – don’t you find that odd? It seems they haven’t gotten their own house in order, and yet, want our entire country to run like a giant college campus – interesting indeed. These same academics want to tell us how to vote, re-distribute wealth, and how to think – well, I think their day of reckoning is right around the corner – and I fear what’s to come will not be pretty. No, I don’t want to be the one to say; “I told you so.” Surely, there are others with more social media followers who see the reality of the situation to spread that in-your-face slap when the time comes. Okay so, let’s talk shall we?

40% of the student loans are in technical default (90-days in the rears with no further agreement to catch up on payments). That is 583 Billion Dollars in defaulted loans that we may never see payment of. Trust me when I tell you that the College Loan Bubble has burst and is extreme crisis. Why is this allowed to continue? Well, if it stops it will collapse academia, become a huge problem for our Federal Government, add over 1/2 Trillion to our $20 Trillion National Debt, and cause the angst of millennials who the Democrats have all but promised “Free College For All” during the 2016 Presidential Election.

Still, by the time the election is over the Student Loan debt will be 1.57 Trillion Dollars, even though the official figures claim it only 1.2 Trillion which was actually the figure before the start of the 2015 Academic Year.

If you don’t see the enormity of the problem, let’s talk about the auto industry right now. It turns out that the number of “Subprime” auto loan defaults are at another all-time high of 4.5% – Subprime meaning loans made to those without proof of ability to pay or marginal credit ratings, perhaps coming from low-socioeconomic borrowers. Last time this happened the auto industry crashed and needed a big bailout, and we are reaching those same numbers now – and realize this is only 4.5% not 40-50% like the student loan problem.

Scared Yet? Well, it is Halloween 2016 today, and I am, and no, there won’t be any good witches flying in on their brooms to win the next election to use hocus pocus to make this problem go away – indeed, both presidential candidates are likely to see the auto loan problem get worse, as well as the student loan debt problem – not to mention our stock market breaking all-time highs with PE Ratios and major stock market indices records.

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Source by Lance Winslow

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February 8, 2020
Stopping Employee Theft in Your Coffee Business

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Regardless to how good of an employer you are, and even if you treat your employees well, understand that employee theft is a reality, and you need to control it. While it may only be a very small percentage of your staff that might steal from you, it can have a significant financial impact on your coffee business. If it goes unnoticed, employees will usually become even more brazen in their activities.

When it comes to theft, your employees are likely to fall into one of the following four categories:

Mr./Ms. honest – these are people who would never think of taking anything if it doesn’t belong to them. If they happen to go home with one of your ballpoint pens, they’ll bring it back the next day, and feel guilty that they took it home, even though it was unintentional.

Incidental theft – these are people that will take home your pen by accident, and will keep it. And, they may scarf a piece of cheesecake occasionally when you aren’t looking, even though they know they shouldn’t. Because these items have minimal value, they have no great sense of guilt related to their activities.

Theft because of need and opportunity – this is when you have an employee who is perhaps living on the edge financially, and because they have the need, and because your security may be lax, they’ll take advantage of an opportune situation to take something.

Compulsive theft – this is the person who is always looking for something to steal, and they have absolutely no conscience about it. They typically rationalize the theft in their own mind. They consider you to be the rich, fat cat, and feel that they are over worked and under paid, so stealing from you is justified.

Employee theft probably exists to some extent within your operation, whether you are aware of it or not. You can most likely live with incidental theft, provided it doesn’t get out of control. Theft related to need and opportunity is, in reality, your fault. These people would probably not steal from you normally, but a lack of security procedures has created the temptation and means for them to do so. Compulsive theft must be discovered, stopped, and you must eliminate the person(s) responsible.

Losing product due to theft:

Your employees may have no desire or need for a sleeve of 12oz. paper cups, Java Jackets, or a roll of toilet paper… but they might like a frozen cake, gallon of chocolate sauce, 6-pack of beer, or a bottle of wine.

There are some simple things you can do to greatly reduce the chance of being ripped-off. First, don’t allow your employees to store their jackets, backpacks, and purses near where you store products. This makes it incredibly simple for someone to slide something into their bag or jacket pocket when no one is watching. I always had my employees store their personal belongings in the cabinet under the cash register (where someone would always be watching), or in my office, under lock & and key.

Second, keep the back door of your store locked with a key at all times (you or your supervisor being the only ones having a key). If customers regularly enter through your back door, this may not be an option. If your back door is an emergency fire exit (and it probably is), you’ll need to install an alarmed breaker-bar. The whole point is that you don’t want your employees to be able to flow in and out of the back door without you knowing about it. Carrying product out the back door to their car, a hiding place for later pick-up, or an awaiting friend, is one of the most common ways products will exit your store.

Once you have made it more difficult to stash things in their personal belongings, or carry them out the back door, employees may resort to hiding items in the trashcan. Of course you will unlock the back door to let them take out the trash. If they have hidden something in the trashcan, a dumpster-diving expedition will certainly be planned for after-hours to recover their treasure.

Periodic trashcan checks should eliminate this problem, or make it a far less appealing option to anyone considering this method to smuggle things out of your store. Buy a long handle 3-prong garden rake. When employees ask to take out the trash, accompany them, and have them hold the can up on the edge of the dumpster while you rake out the trashcan contents. What you are looking for are things that might have been hidden in the trash, but you can tell your employees that you are merely making sure that small wares aren’t being accidentally thrown away. During the 15-years I owned and managed restaurants, I discovered everything from six-packs of beer, bottles of wine, and packages of steaks hidden in the trash!

Another situation that will create an ideal opportunity for employees to steal from you is having only one person working in your store. If your baker comes in each morning a hour before you or the next employee, or if one person is left to clean and lock-up the place at the end of the day, opportunities for theft abound. As the old saying goes: when the cat’s away…

Always try to have at least two people in your store at all times. If there is not justification for having a second employee on the clock, then you will need to be that second person. If this requires you going from a 60-hour workweek to 80-hours, then this may not be a tolerable option. If this is the case, then at least invest a couple of hours more each day for a week or two to do some detective work.

During those times of day when only one employee is working, park at the far end of the parking lot, or across the street, so that you will reduce the chance of being noticed by your employee. If they are familiar with your vehicle, use your spouse’s or friend’s vehicle for a few days. Watch carefully (with binoculars if necessary). I know this all sounds a little CSI – like, but better to rest-easy, feeling fairly assured that your employee isn’t carrying away your store when you’re not watching. If I had the time, I could tell you countless stories of my experiences in catching employees red handed, loading the trunks of their cars.

If you suspect that theft of product might be occurring, but you’ve seen no direct evidence of it, then conducting a daily key item inventory may shed some light on the situation. Write down a list of 15 to 20 products that you think would be most appealing for someone to steal. In your coffee business, this might include items such as coffee, syrups and sauces, smoothie puree, biscotti, cookies, and desserts, sandwich meats & cheeses, and of course beer & wine (if you serve those from your operation). Then take an inventory of these items every day. Your employees don’t need to know what you are doing, and if they ask, simply tell them you are taking an inventory for ordering purposes.

What you are looking for are anomalies in usage. For example, let’s say that from your daily inventories you assess that you use about half a gallon of chocolate sauce per day. Then, one day you notice you used 1 1/2 gallons of chocolate the previous day. This should send up a red flag! Why did you go through an extra gallon of chocolate? Were you significantly busier yesterday, or did you featuring several drink specials which contained chocolate sauce? A quick review of individual item sales from yesterday’s cash register report should provide you with the answer. If you average one ounce of chocolate per beverage, then using 1 1/2 gallons means you should have sold approximately 192 beverages containing chocolate (128 oz. per gal. x 1.5 = 192). If this was the case, no problem. But, if you discover that you only sold 64 beverages containing chocolate, then 128 oz. (or 1 gallon) is unaccounted for and missing! A good indication that it probably walked out the door. If this happens, keep track of who was working on the day of the shortage. If this happens continually, eventually you will discover that the same person or persons were working every time.

Theft of money by employees:

Hopefully, none of your employees will have the desire to steal products from you, but some will be tempted by the lure of cold, hard, cash. Everyone could use an extra $20 a day. Employees who steal money from you will definitely hurt your bottom line, and must be eliminated.

The first way to reduce cash theft is to have a cash handling policy in place that will discourage theft. If multiple employees are using the cash register, and no one person is responsible, then I can almost guarantee that your cash drawer will keep coming up short on a regular basis. The fact that no one person can be held responsible for the shortages, will make grabbing a bill or two easy and appealing.

Implement a policy that one, and only one person is responsible for the cash register for the entire shift. They should count the drawer at the beginning of their shift to verify that they are starting with the designated change bank. Then, they should be the only person to ring up sales and make change. Even you, the owner/manger, should keep your hands out of their cash drawer. Finally, at the end of their shift, they should set aside the amount they started with in the change drawer, and total all the remaining cash, checks, and charges, and balance against what was rung up on the register. If they started with the right amount of money in the cash drawer, rang everything up, took all the money, counted back all the change, and they end up short… who’s fault is it? It can only be theirs. By implementing this simple policy, I once took an operation that was coming up $100 a day ($3,000 a month) cash short, and reduced it to $3 a day, in just 30 days! That’s over a $2,900 bottom line improvement, (in case you didn’t do the math)!

The other common method that a cashier might use to steal money from you is by using a method called, building a bank. This is the process of not ringing up items on the cash register, while still taking money from the customers, and then pocketing that money. Typically, they will obscure the view of the cash register display on the customer’s side with something like a flower, retail merchandise, or by turning the display so that it cannot be easily seen. Then, they will pretend to ring up an item, but will hit the no sale key instead, popping the drawer open so they can take the cash and make change, but in reality, they haven’t rung up anything. The other thing they might do when it is busy is to just not shut the drawer between transactions. They simply convey verbally the cost of items ordered by customers and take the cash, but once again, nothing has been rung up.

A cash register that prints out the order on a remote receipt printer to the person who will be preparing the item, can eliminate this problem. Quite simply, if the item isn’t rung-up, it won’t print out. If your barista or cook won’t prepare anything without a receipt (and they shouldn’t!), it will force your cashier to ring everything up.

If you observe that the cash register’s display has been blocked from the customer’s view, or there are an excessive number of no sale indications on your cash register’s detail tape, or notice that your cashier is not shutting the drawer between transactions, beware! While these may not be indisputable proof that your cashier is stealing from you, they should certainly heighten your vigilance to find out if something is going on.

If your coffee business only warrants having one employee working at a time, perhaps because you own a cart, kiosk, or low volume drive-through operation, then how do you go about keeping your employee from building a bank and stealing from you? The best solution I’ve seen is to turn your customers in to watchdogs. Affix a sign to the front of your cash register, in plain sight of the customer, that reads: If you don’t receive a receipt with your order, it’s FREE! This will force your cashier to hand each customer a receipt for their purchase. If they are building a bank, this means they will have to hand the customer a receipt that says – NO SALE; something they probably won’t fell comfortable doing!

The financial impact of theft of money can be extremely damaging, for example: Let’s say you have a cashier who is skimming off $20 a day by not ringing things up, and then pocketing the money. Not only did you loose the stolen $20, but the $7 of ingredients that were probably used to produce the ordered products; ($20 x 35% ingredient cost = $7.00). So in reality, you lost $27, and it will take an additional $41.54 in sales, to recover this loss; ($41.54 x 65% gross profit = $27). $27 a day lost to theft, X 21 days worked by the employee = $567 lost cash & product per month; $872 extra sales required to offset this loss. (Annual loss, $6,804; $10,468 in additional income required to offset loss.) You must stop theft of money!

Theft of money management:

If you have a manger running your operation for you, this can really create an opportunity for cash theft. Just about anyone who has ever run a food service operation (self included), probably felt that they were over-worked and under-paid. Some are tempted to grant themselves an unapproved raise. Your manger has the control key to the cash register, which means they have the ability to back off items that were sold. You would be wise to check your cash register detail tapes on a regular basis. If you see multiple items backed off in groups, or more worrisome yet, all backed off at the very end of the shift, beware!

A good way to keep this from happening is to establish a policy that no over-rings are to be backed off of sales on the cash register with the management control key. Instead, when the cashier makes an over-ring, they should take the receipt, write over-ring on it, sign it, and put it in the cash drawer. At the end of the shift, the total of all over-rings should be manually backed off of the sales total indicated on the cash register report.

Many years ago I had a manager that was stealing money from me in another creative way. This manager, who opened the store each day, would reset the cash register by Z-ing it out after the first half hour of business. He would then pocket the proceeds earned during that first half hour. Because additional sales were generated during the second half hour, the cash register hourly sales report would always show sales for the first hour of operation, thus eliminating any suspicion that something might be going on.

It wasn’t until I was doing a routine audit of cash register Z tapes that I noticed something wasn’t right. When you run a Z report, which resets the cash register at the end of each day, a multi-digit number will usually be printed somewhere on that tape. The next time you Z the register, that number will advance by one digit. I noticed that even though the tapes were sequential in date, every other number was missing. This tipped me off that the register was being Z-ed twice a day! When I confronted my manager with the tapes, his look of panic spoke volumes.

If you are doubting the honesty of any of your employees or managers, one way you can verify or eliminate your suspicion is by baiting the cash drawer. Slip an extra $20 bill in the drawer sometime during the day when they aren’t watching. If they don’t end up reporting at the end of their shift that they were $20 cash-over, I’ll do it a second time (just to make sure). If they don’t report it a second time, you should have no doubts that they are indeed, dishonest.

NEVER accuse an employee or manger of stealing unless you catch them red-handed (actually stuffing money into their pockets). Even though the circumstantial evidence may be overwhelming, unless you actually catch them in the act, they are likely to deny your accusations, and will probably file a complaint against you with the department of labor! The brief moment of satisfaction you will gain from letting them know you are aware of what they’ve been doing, will be quickly overwhelmed by the legal predicament you will find yourself in. You will be far better off to not make accusations. Simply terminate their employment. In many states, you do not need to provide a reason as to why you are letting them go. When they ask for an explanation as to why you are firing them, simply say: I don’t need to give you a reason, I’m just letting you go, goodbye!

Finally, don’t over look technology to help you with security. Surveillance cameras linked to a DVR (digital video recorder) can provide you with peace of mind, or evidence of theft. These systems have become very affordable, and many are easy to install. The value of these cameras go beyond having a video record of operations. The mere fact that employees understand that their activities are being video recorded, will usually discourage them from doing things that they might not think twice about, if no one was watching.

I think it’s important to not be paranoid about employee theft. Certainly, you don’t want to be constantly obsessed with the suspicion that everyone is stealing from you. In reality, the majority of your employees are probably honest people. But, you would be wise to establish some simple safeguards, and maintain a watchful eye.

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Source by Ed Arvidson

Views: 0

February 6, 2020
Saving a Long Distance Relationship: How Do You Know When It’s Heading For The Rocks?

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When you or your significant other are forced to move away for whatever reason, the necessity of saving a long distance relationship is the last thing on your mind. However, the chances are that neither of you has any real idea how to make your long distance relationship work.

Initially you’re both head over heels in love and, while you’re sad at the idea of being apart, you’re both determined that nothing will stop you from being together. You make all the usual promises to each other and for a while things are great. The problem is that in all probability you never got down to the nitty gritty reality of what it would actually be like to be hundreds or even thousands of miles apart, so you’re not prepared for the loneliness that inevitably comes as part of a long distance relationship package.

The initial elation and determination to be together no matter what begins to fade slowly and inevitably, and that’s usually when the insecurities start to set in.

You begin wondering what your partner’s up to. Perhaps they don’t appear to be missing you as much as you’re missing them; maybe they’re not available to talk when you need to. If you’re the one left behind you have the added knowledge that your lover has started a new job and of course you imagine them meeting lots of new people and having a really exciting time. Of course it’s not always the person left behind who has the problems. In your relationship, maybe you’re the one starting the new job and you don’t know anybody. Perhaps you think of your partner back at home surrounded by friends and family and you wonder if they are missing you like you’re missing them, or even if they’re thinking of you at all. But whatever your situation, that feeling of insecurity is horrible and so soul destroying.

You want to talk to your partner but you’re struggling to communicate because you’re frightened of the potential fall-out; that if your lover knew how you really felt, then your relationship would end. At this point, saving a long distance relationship is still not on your mind because the chances are that you are burying your head firmly in the sand, not realizing that by not talking to each other, your relationship is heading inexorably to the rocks.

Eventually loneliness gives way to frustration. You’re not getting what you want out of the relationship so you start to become resentful. Very often at this point it becomes all about you – what your lover wants doesn’t seem to matter.

Slowly frustration begins to turn to anger. Everyone around you seems to be in a relationship in which they’re surgically glued to one another’s side. Your friends and family thinks you’re crazy and give you all kinds of well meaning advice; unfortunately, it’s mostly negative and probably doesn’t involve actually saving a long distance relationship!

Whether you recognize it or not, you are now both firmly at the point of desperately needing to save your long distance relationship and, if neither of you take action, you begin to lose all sense of actually being in a relationship at all and drift towards the final stage in any long distance relationship break down – detachment.

One or both of you allow the resentment and frustration to get the better of you and slowly begin to withdraw into yourself. Your communication dwindles to almost non-existent and when you do speak, neither of you have anything to say.

Maybe at this point saving a long distance relationship seems almost impossible with everything seemingly working against you, but before you get on the phone and end it all, I want to say one final thing: It doesn’t have to be like that!

Ask yourselves this question: Do you and your partner love each other? If the answer to that question is ‘yes’ then, believe me you can save your long distance relationship.

If the love is still there underneath all of the crap that has gotten in the way, you really can halt the slide and pull it back together. Distance doesn’t have to be a deal breaker and you don’t have to be in the same room to share that special intimacy.

It won’t happen overnight, but if you’re both truly prepared to work at it, you won’t only be saving a long distance relationship but making it better than you ever thought possible.

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Source by Beverley Watts

Views: 0

February 6, 2020
How to Attract Wealth by Altering Your Invisible Field?

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Wealth attraction means more than just inviting more money into your life. It means having fulfilling relationships, love, wealth, health, career and success. If you agree that money is not the only yardstick for wealth, and like to know how to attract wealth by altering your invisible field, you are in the right place.

First, what is this invisible field? It is the aura that surrounds us. Most of us can’t see this glowing field, but certainly we can feel it.

Think about this: Have you ever experienced someone standing quietly behind you? It might be your boss watching what you were doing, or a friend planning to give you a surprise. For whatever reason, you would have felt their presence unless you were overly engrossed in your task. The reason why you could feel it was because another invisible field impinged into yours. And that invisible field is the aura.

Our aura is not only invisible, it is also magnetic. What you attract into your life first manifests in your aura, then in reality. Of course, the manifestation in the aura is not in term of events or objects. Instead, it shows in the shade, shape, condition and colors of the aura.

Simply put, by changing your aura, you can attract abundance. So how to attract wealth by changing the aura? The 5 step formula for manifesting abundance are as follows:

1) Create a Clear Picture of Your Desire – First is to be clear and concise on what you want. For simplicity, let’s say you want more money. Write down the amount. Start with what you expect to have 3, 6 and 12 months from now. Check your emotions when you put down the value. If you feel uneasy, adjust the amount till you feel manageable.

Based on the amount you have written, see yourself celebrating and holding more money progressively.

2) Get the Aura Tool for Wealth – The truth is you can use visualization to change your aura. But it is easier and faster with crystal. Why crystal? How does it work? The vibe of each type of crystal is unique, consistent and pure. Because of this special characteristic, each crystal has an aura of specific shade and color.

By leveraging on these stones we can alter our aura to attract wealth. But how to attract wealth with crystal?

Depending on your definition of wealth, first select a suitable crystal. But since we used money as the example earlier, let’s continue with it.

For money, we will go with citrine. This stone is a renowned money magnet and mood lifter. Get a citrine crystal sphere of 2 inches or more – the bigger, the better.

3) Preparing your Wealth Tool – You need to cleanse, charge and program it with the wealth images you have created in step 1.

Soak the citrine in sea salt water overnight. Rinse with distilled or filtered water and sun it for about half hour. Next place the citrine on your left palm and visualize the images you have created earlier. During visualization, stay relaxed, happy and fulfilled.

4) Wealth Meditation – In step 4 on how to attract wealth, meditate with the citrine. You can adopt the “sitting on char”, half lotus or full lotus posture. Hold your citrine in your left hand and firmly supported with the right below.

Meditate for 30 minutes for 7 consecutive days. It will be better to do it for 49 days straight. During meditation, again visualize the created images to reinforce the wealth attraction power.

5) Release the Feeling – At the end of the meditation, let go of the images and feelings. Place the citrine by the side of your bed and carry on your usual daily tasks.

With the help of citrine, you have infused your aura with the right shade and colors for wealth attraction. Congratulation!

Having learned how to attract wealth by changing your aura colors, you must be impressed with what crystals can do for you.

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Source by Glen Lim

Views: 0

February 5, 2020
Your Thoughts Plus Emotion Create Thought Forms

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Think of a time you walked into a place and you felt peace surround you. Now think of a time when you felt discord surround you. Both times you experienced what is called thought forms. This is when the energy of your thoughts and feelings “take form.” An energy is created which is so strong it can be felt by others if they are paying attention.

Creating a Negative Thought Form

A passing thought, one without feeling, does not create a thought form. You need the power of your feelings to make such a creation. This is why it is crucial to manage your thoughts and emotions. What you hold in your mind surrounded by emotion stays with you. It can be supportive for you or it can hinder you.

Let’s say you are having a bad day. Things didn’t go well at work. Your lunch ended up in your lap and there was a traffic snarl which prevented you from getting home as scheduled. And, yes, when you walked in an hour late, the dog hadn’t been able to hold it and had pooped in an inconvenient place.

With each new thing that went wrong, your feelings of distress become stronger and more pronounced. You can almost feel a little black cloud of frustration or depression surround you. The longer this cloud of negative emotion surrounds you, the more difficult it is for you to pull yourself out of the emotional dumps.

Transforming the Negative to a Positive

To pull yourself out of the dark hole you find yourself, you need to get rid of the black cloud. How do you do that when one thing after another has gone wrong? It takes an act of will and determination on your part. Here are a few tricks.

1. Focus on your heart. You will find that your mood lightens when you do this.

2. Breathe in and out of your heart. This helps you to become even more centered.

3. See those heavy feelings as a cloud and see them being washed out of your body and into the ground.

4. Imagine a time of great joy, peace or relaxation. Really feel it and put a color to it.

5. Allow that color to expand outwards and totally surround you.

You’ve now changed the reality you created from one of darkness to one of joy.

If you do this on a regular basis you will find yourself being more disciplined about the thoughts and feelings you have. You will become aware that they are transitory and you can change them to something that will move you forward in life.

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Source by Cathy Chapman, Ph.D.

Views: 0

February 5, 2020
Affiliate Marketer – The Win-Win Technique

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Affiliate marketing has turned out to be just about the most efficient way to market on the web. It is usually among the most active for anybody with a web site in order to obtain profits on the internet. Affiliate marketing is an arrangement made by a product owner and a site owner. The site manager, permits the usage of the website for the advertising of the merchant’s goods by back-linking towards the merchant’s web-site. In return, the vendor or product owner compensates the internet marketer according to all product sales produced because of the internet marketer efforts. Whenever an individual follows the URL ((Uniform Resource Locator) on the internet marketer site and proceed to made a purchase, the affiliate marketer receives a percentage. The product owner pays off the affiliate as long as a person clicks the merchandise link and buys something.

Affiliate programs are identified as a win-win scenario for both the vendor and also the affiliate because of the pay-for-performance structure. Both parties enjoy big benefits with this technique. There are numerous rewards for the merchant. It provides them with a larger market place to promote services or products. Through their marketing efforts, the affiliate marketer will provide the goods and services the ideal visibility that maybe could not be possible with the use of traditional promotion approaches. The more online websites a vendor has access to, the larger the exposure his products will have, which more than often converts into product sales. Internet affiliate marketing is the same as possessing an army of sales agents who can carry out promotion and may only get paid in the case a client buys.

At the same time, because an affiliate marketer relationship can be a win-win scenario, the affiliate marketer also looks forward to lots of benefits. Foremost involving these is the simplest way to produce revenues. The affiliate marketer can gain using an advertisement or back-link to the vendor’s site, which potential customers will ideally press and ultimately make a purchase. When the target individual follows the offer within the affiliate’s website, is rerouted towards the vendor’s site and usually proceeds to purchase that specific product or service. The more recommendations are made, the far more possibilities of earnings for that internet marketer.

Affiliate programs are an exceptional way to generate income while in your own home. You’ll find practically no initial expenses. The merchandise has already been created and verified through the vendor, and the only costs you have are the ones related to finding the customers and direct them in front of the offer. Internet programs are typically exempt of cost to sign up for, so affiliate marketers don’t need to be worried about start-up fees. There are millions of products you can consider. You’ll find affiliate marketing programs available for practically any merchandise offered in the web. Certainly, you can find a service or product out there that is definitely related to your site.

Furthermore, there is no sales knowledge required. Most programs provide outstanding assistance with regards to supplying advertising material. The simplicity of online marketing enables you to be an internet marketer at the minimum cost as well as enjoy the most convenience. You may also be able to create a profitable affiliate marketing enterprise in the comfort and ease of your home. In internet affiliate marketing, your main duty is actually to seek out potential customers and direct them to your selected offers; there is no need to concern yourself with products on hand, quality or even delivery. These, together with customer support are the responsibilities of the product owner.

Due to the possibilities on the world-wide-web, it is simple to find a large number of prospective buyers. You are able to accentuate your strategy by applying extra competitive and effective techniques including viral marketing and videos. By bringing in much more prospective buyers, you’ll realize a big increase in your possibility to generate income. Another advantage of an internet marketer is definitely the small monetary risk involved. When the item you happen to be promoting is just not creating wealth you’ll be able to dump it and select a different one. There aren’t any long-term binding agreements braiding you to products and solutions that are certainly not creating sufficient revenues.

Consider the very best advantage of becoming an internet marketer as the unique chance to improve your revenues and the fact that you may earn profits even when you use internet affiliate marketing only as a part-time business. With your personal affiliate enterprise, you can generate easily some extra income, despite the reality that you need to apply hard work and made use of your thoughts to maximize your possible earnings. Without a doubt, affiliate marketing and advertising is among the most basic and most successful work at home opportunities on the internet today.

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Source by Ruth Celeste Lee

Views: 0

February 5, 2020
Some Straight Talk on Affiliate Marketing

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My wife and daughter are out of town today so I was going to get caught up on my favorite TV shows: Supergirl, Flash, Supernatural and Legion.

I definitely like the superhero shows. I grew up watching Christopher Reeve’s Superman films and reading comics.

But when I got home, I decided to take a nap…

… and that nap turned into sleeping through the night!

Remember, yesterday I gave you a taste of how Internet Marketing works. Click here if you missed it so you can catch up!

I know there’s one that’ll suit your interests and complement your skills.

In reality, the Internet can give you countless possibilities in business and earnings. I’ll focus on the most proven ones.

These are known to have launched thousands of Internet businesses all over the world and helped local brick-and-mortar businesses see profits early.

And today I’ll start examining for you the 3 Internet Marketing (IM) models for you to choose from, starting with Affiliate Marketing.

This model is all about you joining forces with an online seller or retailer. I’ll refer to them as merchants for the rest of this article.

The revenue will be shared by you and the merchant.

How does it work EXACTLY?

Well, income is usually generated through visitors clicking through to your landing page via an ad you posted. Or through purchases from clients, who have visited your landing page.

How you’re compensated, ultimately, depends on, one of three types of Affiliate Marketing you choose to work with:

1. Pay per Sale Affiliate Marketing – this will allow you to earn income from sales finalized through advertisements you post.

The merchants will monitor your activity through these sales.

Every time they close deals originating from your ad, you’ll receive a percentage of the income or a fixed commission, depending on the number of sales finalized. One example is ClickBank.com.

2. Pay Per Click Affiliate Marketing – this model is all about linking the merchant’s website to your own website. Say the merchant pays to have their ad posted on your page. Every time a visitor clicks the link that leads to your affiliate merchant’s page, you’ll earn a fixed amount.

3. Pay per Lead Affiliate Marketing – In this case, you’ll accept advertisements posted on your website. When leads originate from the ads or links on your website, you’ll get compensated.

How are payments made?

Payments are made instantly, weekly, bi-weekly or on a monthly basis. The payments you receive will be determined by the commission rate your merchant gives affiliates.

Personally, the affiliate program Dahl Integration Marketing prefers uses Click Bank for payments. I have it set up to pay us weekly.

There are several ways to get your payments:

One is via electronic banking by way of payment or financial websites.

Money can also be wired through to your personal or business bank account – this can also be done online or through direct bank deposits.

A regular check can be mailed to you.

Another popular way to receive payments is via PayPal.

What Skills Are Required to Start an Affiliate Marketing Business?

You need to know pay-per-click advertising, email marketing and copywriting.

Advantages of Affiliate Marketing:

1. Generally speaking, you don’t need to spend a lot of cash to get started. Most Affiliate Programs are free to join although they’ll ask you to apply.

That said, there are Premium Affiliate Programs where affiliates pay a licensing fee of $1,000 or more.

2. You can earn money while you sleep. Who doesn’t want to earn more cash in the middle of the night?

When this first happened to me I felt an enormous weight lifted off my shoulders because income wasn’t always dependent on my time.

3. It’s one of the easiest ways to earn income (when you compare it to creating and marketing your own products) because you shorten the time to market.

When you create your own products and services you’re on the hook to prove that it can sell. This initial test campaign can cost thousands of dollars to prove your offers’ feasibility.

Conversely, you can simply promote a popular product that’s already proven successful and skip all the trial-and-error and initial ‘cold-hard’ cash outlay.

Whether you’re in this as a part-time source of income or as a long-term business, affiliate marketing is still one of the best ways to earn income without all the typical hassles of managing a business.

4. If you’re successful, you’ll always be up-to-date with what’s going on in the world of Internet marketing. This is a great opportunity for you to find or create different products and services to feature on your website.

5. You’ll also have opportunities to work with other affiliate marketers and increase your earnings together.

The Downsides to Affiliate Marketing

Although you can make a living with affiliate marketing, there are a couple of downsides to this model that you should know.

Once you have all this information, you can devise plans to help you avoid these potentially costly problems:

1. As an affiliate, you may fall victim to shady businesses and, in turn, you may be accused of deceiving clients.

To make sure that you keep this from happening, you have to screen all your merchants. Verify their products and check if their actual businesses are legit.

A rule of thumb is to first become a client of the merchants you plan to work with. What’s more, it’s always easier to sell a product or service you believe in, because you’re a client and can speak from your own experience with the product.

You also need to read the fine print in the contract of affiliation before finalizing the deal.

2. You’ll stop earning without prior notice. This can happen if you do not regularly communicate with your merchants.

Merchants can stop or discontinue production of products without informing their affiliates (and in some cases go out of business) so be sure to stay in touch with your merchants to avoid this problem.

Today, I examined the ins-and-outs of Affiliate Marketing and tomorrow I’ll examine for you the opportunity existing in online shopping centers.

Namely, eBay and Amazon.

Stay tuned for tomorrow…

In the meantime, if you’d like to take the guesswork out of growing your business online then click here to get the ultimate shortcut.

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Source by Eric T Dahl

Views: 0

February 4, 2020
Created To Bond – Changes That Heal Part II
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Failure To Develop Relationships

Emotional ties have a dramatic effect on our well-being. When one fails to develop relationships or bond with others, it can and often does affect their ability to stave off or recover from a variety of not only physical but also emotional ills. When they learn to attach to and trust others, they begin to develop not only emotionally, but also psychologically. Thus, their ability to bond with others… to become closely knit, often carryover into their home life.

When a child is distressed, he/she may show unusual signs such as increased pulse, increased or labored respiration, helplessness, and hopelessness and may easily become enraged. These signs are often seen when the biological parent remarries and the child tends to believe that he/she must compete with the step-parent for the biological parent’s attention.

When the adoptive or step-parent enters the situation with food, physical contact, compassion and other help, the child learns her parents can meet her needs. The child is then more active and able to respond to stimulation such as playing. When the child is content, she is able to sleep and feel comfortable in her surroundings.

According to Deborah Gray, author of Attaching in Adoption, “attachment is a relationship formed primarily with members of the family and requires more time and interaction to be created. Attachment is what most adoptive parents are referring to when they talk about bonding with their child. Adopted children of all ages may have an attachment to their birth family, even if the relationship was neglectful or abusive. Many adoption experts agree that if a child can form an attachment to birth and foster parents, she will have the skills to attach to her adoptive family as well.”

Signs of Secure Attachment

The parental attachment process can often take weeks or years to fully develop, and in some cases there maybe pervasive attachment disorders for which professional therapy will be required. A strong indicator of whether attachment is taking place is the comfort with which the adoptive or step-parent is able to recognize the child’s needs. It is important to remember that the repetition of parents meeting a child’s needs is the foundation of forming a secure attachment with children of all ages, not just infants.

The attachment bond shapes an infant’s brain

The attachment bond is the term for our first interactive love relationship-the one we had with our primary caregivers, that is, our mothers. The mother-child attachment bond is instrumental in shaping infants brains. This important attachment profoundly influences our self-esteem, our expectations of others, and our ability to attract and maintain successful relationships. So, the success, or failure, of our first love-the attachment bond-has a life-long effect.

Our secure attachment bond shapes our abilities to:
- feel safe
- develop meaningful connections with others
- explore our world
- deal with stress
- balance emotions
- experience comfort and security
- make sense of our lives
- create positive memories and expectations of relationships
Attachment bonds are as unique as we are. Primary caretakers do not have to be perfect. They do not have to always be in agreement with their infants’ emotions, but it helps if they are emotionally available a majority of the time.

We were born with an innate or preprogrammed need to bond with one very significant person-our primary caregiver, usually our mother. Like all infants, you were a small bundle of disjointed emotions-intensely experiencing fear, anger, sadness, and joy, often at the same time. The natural emotional attachment that grew between you and your caregiver was the first interactive relationship of your life, and it depended upon nonverbal communication. Therefore, the bonding you experienced in this relationship determined how you would relate to other people throughout your life. This bonding relationship established the foundation for all verbal and nonverbal communication in your future relationships.

For better or worse, the attachment bond profoundly influences the infant brain. It is a baby’s first love relationship. When the primary caretaker can manage personal stress, calm the infant, communicate through emotion, share joy, and forgive easily, the young child’s nervous system becomes “securely attached.” The strong foundation of a secure attachment bond enables the child to be self-confident, trusting, hopeful, and comfortable in the face of conflict. As an adult, he or she will be flexible, creative, hopeful, and optimistic.

People who fail to establish this type of bonding relationship often experience confusing, frightening, or broken emotional communications during their infancy and often grow into adults who have difficulty understanding their own emotions and the feelings of others. This hampers their ability to establish, build and/or maintain attachments leading to successful relationships.

What is Attachment?

Attachment is the relationship between infants and their primary caregivers-is responsible for:
- shaping the success or failure of future intimate relationships
- the ability to maintain a normal emotional balance
- the ability to enjoy being ourselves and to find satisfaction in being with others
- the ability to successfully rebound from various disappointments, discouragement, and misfortune
Many scientific studies of the brain-and the primary role attachment plays in shaping it-has given us a new basis for understanding why vast numbers of people have great difficulty communicating with the most important individuals in their work and love lives. Once, we could only use guesswork to try and determine why important relationships never evolved, or developed chronic problems, or fell apart. Now, thanks to new insights into brain development, we can understand what it takes to help build and nurture productive and meaningful relationships at home and at work.

What is the attachment bond?

The mother-child bond is the primary force in infant development, according to the attachment bond theory pioneered by English psychiatrist John Bowlby and American psychologist Mary Ainsworth. The theory has gained strength through worldwide scientific studies and the use of brain imaging technology.

The attachment bond theory states that the relationship between infants and primary caretakers is responsible for:
- shaping all of our future relationships
- strengthening or damaging our abilities to focus, be conscious of our feelings, and calm ourselves
- the ability to bounce back from misfortune
Scientific research reveals the infant/adult interactions that result in a successful, secure attachment, where both people are aware of the other’s feelings and emotions is the necessary precursor for successful relationships. These studies also reveal troubled, or insecure attachment, in which the communication of feelings fails thus resulting in an inability to form the bind needed to establish a solid relationship. Researchers found that in order to have successful adult relationships there must exist in us and we must depend on the ability to:
- manage stress
- stay “tuned in” with emotions
- use communicative body language
- be playful in a mutually engaging manner
- be readily forgiving, relinquishing grudges
The same research also found that when an insecure attachment exists some type of abuse may have caused it, but it is just as likely to be caused by isolation or loneliness. These recent discoveries offer a new glimpse into successful love relationships. Taking these observations into account often provides the keys to identifying and repairing a love relationship that is strained or falling apart.

Insecure attachment affects adult relationships

Insecurity can be a significant problem in all of our lives, and it usually takes root when an infant’s attachment bond fails to provide the child with sufficient structure, recognition, understanding, safety, and mutual accord. These insecurities may lead us to:
- Tune out and turn off-Most often, if our parent is unavailable and self-absorbed, we may-as children-get lost in our own inner world, we become introverted, avoiding any close, emotional connections. This often causes us as adults to become physically and emotionally distant in relationships.
- Remain insecure-If we have parents who are inconsistent or intrusive, it’s more than likely that we will become unrealistically anxious and fearful, never knowing what to expect. Then as adults, we may become willingly available one moment and totally rejecting the next.
- Become disorganized, aggressive and angry-When our early needs for emotional closeness and comfort is neglected, or when a parent’s erratic behavior is a source of disorienting terror, emotional problems are sure to follow. As we grow into adults, we may lack the ability to love easily and may unknowingly be insensitive to the needs of our partner.
- Develop slowly-Problems often occur when we fail to develop as rapidly as we should, both emotionally and intellectually. Such developmental delays often manifest themselves in the form of deficits and often result in subsequent physical and mental health problems, and generally lead to social and learning disabilities.
Lessons Learned From Our Attachment Bond

There are many powerful, life-altering lessons we learn from our attachment bond-our first love relationship continues to teach us as adults. The gut-level knowledge we gained from this bond then guides us in improving our adult relationships and making them secure.

Lesson No. 1-All adult relationships depend on nonverbal forms of communication for their success. These nonverbal communication skills are learned in infancy. Newborn infants cannot talk, reason or plan; yet they are equipped to make sure their needs are met. Infants don’t know what they need, they feel what they need, and communicate accordingly. When an infant communicates with a caretaker who understands and meets their physical and emotional needs an attachment takes place and the strength of that attachment influences other relationships later in life.

Lesson No. 2-Relationships in which the parties are tuned in to each other’s emotions are called attuned relationships, and attuned relationships teach us that:
- nonverbal cues deeply impact our love relationships
- as we play it helps us smooth over the turbulent times we endure in love relationships
- inevitable conflicts can build trusting relationships if we approach them without fear or a need to punish or retaliate
When we can recognize knee-jerk memories, perceive expectations, inappropriate attitudes, unfounded assumptions and improper behaviors as problems resulting from insecure attachment bonds, we can squelch their influence and their effect on our adult relationships. That recognition allows us to readily reconstruct the healthy nonverbal communication skills that ultimately produce an attuned attachment and successful relationship.

Becoming an Adult and Relationship Orientation

As we grow into adulthood, for the most part we bring with us the ideas and communication lessons we have learned from the time of our infancy. Whether these are good or bad depends on our ability to not only view life from our perspective but also have the ability and the willingness to see things from the other person’s point of view as well. When we are able to do that, then we are in a more astute position to deal with situations and circumstances that are adverse to us.

As we move through the adolescent stage of life we find ourselves at odds not only with others but also with ourselves. We want to be an adult with all of its rights and privileges sooner that we can become one, yet at the same time we want to abdicate the responsibility that goes with that station in life. It is a time of being able to make your own decisions and taking authority over your own life, but you are not there yet. You must learn to maintain control of your impulsiveness and your inhibitions. You must be able to objectionably reevaluate your beliefs, see your parents and authority figures realistically, recognize and pursue your God-given talents and goals, and be willing to take ultimate responsibility for yourself. Finally you must be able to accept and appreciate people who are different.

This ability helps us to be able to accept the good and the bad because we are able to address situations in a mature manner. When we are able to do this, we place ourselves into a position of strength, resulting in a proper evaluation of ourselves. Thus we are able to overcome some of the most persistent problems we face daily because now we are not only able to see things in black and white but also in the various shades of gray. As such, we are able to make allowances for our and other peoples mistakes.

We at that point come to realize that everything in life doesn’t have to go our way in order for us to be happy. We gain a new perspective on ourselves, others and God as a result of our changed thinking. We are then able to deal with each other with mercy, in grace, with the understanding that we too make mistakes. When we move into the realm of tolerance and forgiveness, we are able to love others without them having to be perfect.

Yet, in order to accomplish the task and responsibility of growing up we must also be willing to take responsibility and be accountable for those things of which we have been put in charge. Those things include our attitude, tongue, and actions. As we continue to grow in stature and wisdom the maturity level of our life should also increase proportionately.

Differences Between Men And Women

From my experience in dealing with women, (my mother, aunts, seven sisters and many friends and associates) I find that the majority of women are generally oriented towards their existing friendship networks whereas men were more interested in meeting new people and finding people who had similar interests — in other words, men would rather enjoy the adventure of reaching out to new people rather than cementing their existing relationships.

These results contribute to the growing research on social capital, networking and highlight the importance of examining specific interactive applications. The importance of distinguishing between strong and weak ties plays a major role in establishing new relationships. Also, it is necessary to consider the importance of taking into account gender differences in social interaction patterns. Whereas, women increase their bonding social capital as a result of using these sites but men do not. Women, on the other hand, show a decrease in bonding social capital with those whom they meet outside of their normal sphere of influence.

The fear of incorporating emotional intimacy into these association/relationships is mainly due to a fear of rejection and engulfment – a fear of losing the other and/or losing yourself. To overcome this obstacle you must be able to establish an inner bond with yourself. Inner Bonding is a transformational process for healing the fear of intimacy related ideas that have been carried from past experiences.

The mental visualization of these experiences often cause us to digress into a self-contained state of emotional security that hinders our ability to openly tolerate the inconsistencies we see in others. As a result, we ourselves are moved to a protective state and therefore unable to deal with the negative feelings that we will invariably experience. This barrier can block us from resolving issues that in reality are non-issues.

The Immaturity In Adolescence

Struggles with adolescent identity and depression usually set in when an adolescent experiences a loss. The most important loss in their lives is the changing relationship between the adolescent and their parents. Adolescents may also experience strife in their relationships with friends. This may be due to the activities their friends take part in, such as smoking, which causes adolescents to feel as though participating in such activities themselves is likely essential to maintaining these friendships. Teen depression can be extremely intense at times because of physical and hormonal changes but emotional instability is part of adolescence. Their changing mind, body and relationships often present themselves as stressful and that change, they assume, is something to be feared.

Your experiences in life help you to mature. The maturity is developed when you know you have no one to blame for the past but the circumstances and your immaturity. Oftentimes your immaturity stopped you from having a proper perspective of the facts facts and seeing things as they were. This made you blame others for your sufferings. You may have created and escalated your suffering without realizing the facts and circumstances and taking a easy way out by holding others responsible for it.

You feel you are always on the receiving end of every wrong or perceived wrong due to your immaturity. However, life has a knack of replaying memories and after few years it recreates the same circumstances but this time puts you on the opposite side (giving end), you are left with no choice but to accept the fact that you were so immature then and have grow-up with years. As you mature, life makes you see your ‘old you’ in somebody else now in these replaying of circumstances and you know that the other person still has to wait years ahead to grow and realize these facts.

Maturity slowly leads to wisdom when you know that it is only you who has to stand up and take responsibility for your past – action / inaction, sufferings / failures instead of holding others responsible. It is truly said that you create your own happiness. By blaming others and holding grudges you keep happiness at bay and give way to hatred and self pity. However, with time and wisdom when you accept the responsibility for your sufferings and embrace all your successes without pride -you are truly happy.

Divorce And Its Affects On Maturity

Children of divorced parents often bitterly vow not to repeat the same mistakes. They want to avoid putting themselves and their own children through the pain that comes from the dissolution of a marriage. But, according to University of Utah researcher Nicholas H. Wolfinger, these children’s aspirations face unfavorable odds. “Growing up in a divorced family greatly increases the chances of ending one’s own marriage, a phenomenon called the divorce cycle or the intergenerational transmission of divorce.” Dr. Wolfinger has spent almost a decade studying the marriages of children from divorced homes in America. These children are more likely to marry during their teenage years, cohabitate and marry someone who is also a child of divorced parents. And they are also one-third less likely to marry if they are over age 20.

“Understanding the Divorce Cycle: The Children of Divorce in Their Own Marriages,” by Wolfinger, published by Cambridge University Press, contains important information for those interested in divorce and its repercussions. “Divorce is an important topic because it has so many consequences for well-being,” writes Wolfinger,

“Its transmission between generations adds a whole new dimension by perpetuating the cycle of divorce. The divorce cycle, in short, can be thought of as a cascade. Ending a marriage starts a cycle that threatens to affect increasing numbers of people over time, a sobering thought in an era when half of all new marriages fail.” His research also suggests that if one spouse comes from divorced parents, the couple may be up to twice as likely to divorce. Spouses who are both children of divorced parents are three times more likely to divorce as couples who both hail from intact families.

Besides observing the marital stability of the offspring of divorced couples, Wolfinger’s book provides another perspective on how parental divorce affects offspring marriage timing, mate selection, cohabitating relationships as well as historical trends in the divorce cycle. Wolfinger also explores the divorce reform movement in America and argues in favor of no-fault divorce laws, arguing that a return to an age of tough divorce laws would recreate the social conditions that used to make divorce harder on children.

It is my opinion considering all that has been written on this subject that one reason children from divorced families get divorced more often is because they have a tendency to marry as teenagers. Social history demonstrates that the older you are when you marry, the less likely you are to get divorced. It’s good advice for everyone.”

On the other hand, the more transitions children experience while growing up, the more they will experience as adults. Taking this into consideration, the question that needs to be asked is, “What is the hardest for kids is how many disruptions they experience — the up-and-down cycles.

This is a valid question because many children will have stepparents, and some will see their new families dissolve. This type of disruption occurs any time they lose a parent — except from death. That’s different, and doesn’t have the same negative effects on children… whereas divorce is ambiguous. Children wonder whether the divorce was their fault or who is to blame. And they wonder ‘Is he coming back?’” It is certainly good news that people are less likely to stay in high conflict marriages than they used to. However, “ending a low-conflict marriage may hurt children as much as staying in a high-conflict family,” and the odds of divorce transmission are actually highest if parents dissolve a marriage after little or no conflict. It therefore behooves us to evaluate the effects divorce will have upon our children and their emotional well being should we decide to travel that road.

But before making that decision, we should honestly examine ourselves and the motivating things that are moving us in that direction. This inventory, if prayerfully done will allow us to see the other persons point of view more clearly and thereby make the necessary adjustments, where warranted, to resolve the issues that precipitated situation to begin with. If we are truly willing to continue the relationship, then we must take the necessary steps needed to resolve the issues of what is good or bad by first considering what we could have done to alleviate the problem rather than casting blame. When we allow the power of forgiveness to flow in us we cannot only deal with the past and present, but also the future as bonds are cemented.

Gray, Deborah. Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today’s Parents. Indiana:Perspectives Press Inc., 2002.

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Source by Franklyn T. Johnson, Ph.D

Views: 0
February 3, 2020