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Tag: Reaching

  • Rich Brother by Tobias Wolff

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    The Rich Brothers is a story of two brothers, their sibling rivalry and their contrast in everything including worldly success and failure. While Pete is rich and Donald is poor by the end of the story we are left wondering who among the two is actually rich in the real sense of the term.

    Pete, the older among the sibling is rich and successful. He exemplifies the American middle class dream – nice family life with a wife and two daughters, a house, a sailboat, and every other thing that money can buy you – of success that his hard work in real estate business could attain for him. Donald, the younger brother is just his opposite. He lives alone and survives out of painting houses. At times, he lives in a Berkeley ashram and lives in financial debt.

    Pete comes to rescue Donald out of his difficulties and donates him money right in the beginning of this story. The two are driving in a car when Pete gifts him $100. However, there is a subtle sub-text of sibling rivalry in the background during their childhood as also when they grow up. Donald for instance, reminds Pete how as a kid he wanted to kill him, to which Pete replies, “children always do such things”.

    Pete doesn’t bother to or perhaps doesn’t like to discuss his personal life with Donald, yet Donald asks him if he ever dreams of his younger brother. Pete, in fact has a recurring dream that he is blind and needs his brother’s assistance. Perhaps, the author has metaphorically hinted at the blindness inherent in material success and in need of genuine spiritual assistance from people like Donald.

    The story moves further even as we discover more contrasting characteristics of the two brothers. In comes a character Webster that tells them a mythic tale of his own dream experience involving goldmine and greed. Donald gives away $100 gifted to him by Pete. But Pete throws him out of the car on learning what he has done.

    Meanwhile, Pete ponders what would he answer his wife when she would ask him about his brother? Perhaps, he is not worried. Material wealth has blind his conscience; his sensitivity: “And in this way, smiling, nodding to the music, he went another mile or so and pretended that he was not already slowing down, that he was not going to turn back, that he would be able to drive on like this alone, and have the right answer when his wife stood before him in the doorway of his home and asked, Where is he? Where is your brother?”(Wolff 269)

    Wolff’s story parallels the biblical story of Cain and Abel. One brother is spiritual, God-oriented, helping and reaching out to others, while the other is materialistic, has least concern with God and can even go to the extent of trying to kill or hurt his brother. The contrast in the character of the two brother compels us to ask who is the rich brother? The one that has money or the one who lacks material wealth, but is endowed with human virtues? Who really needs whom? Does Donald really need money? If he really needed money, why would he give it away to Webster without a second thought? Pete can only pretend that he doesn’t need Donald. He can only pretend that he can go alone and will answer his acts toward his brother.

    The author through contradictory characters of the two brothers has tried to dig the real meaning of wealth. A person can remain unfulfilled despite all his wealth as shown through the metaphor of dream where Pete is blind and in need for assistance. Donald is pious, happy and harbors no grudge against Pete, and therefore, is quite capable of helping Pete learn how to be a good person.

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    Source by Ajit Kumar Jha

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  • My Husband Wanted The Separation, But Now He’s Constantly Trying To Keep Tabs On Me

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    I sometimes hear from wives who are very confused about their husband’s conflicting behavior during a martial separation. Often, he is the one who initiated the separation and it seems as if he almost can’t wait to leave. But as soon as the couple are living apart, suddenly the husband wants to keep tabs on the wife or seems particularly interested in her day to day activities.

    I heard from a wife who said: “my husband has been wanting to separate for a while. I tried my best to talk him out of it, but after listening to him insist upon it for months, I finally gave in and agreed to go and live with my sister for a little while. Since he was so anxious to get rid of me, I really didn’t expect to hear from him, although I knew that I would miss him terribly. I’ve been gone only two days, but now he is constantly calling me and wanting to know what I’m doing. I will answer the phone and the first thing he says to me is ‘what are you doing’ in an almost accusatory way. The truth is, I’m not doing anything and I tell him so. Why does he even ask? He couldn’t get rid of me quickly enough and now it’s like he wants to keep checking on me. What is going on?” I’ll try to answer these questions in the following article.

    He May Just Be Missing You: Men often envision having all kinds of peace and quiet so that they can think. But, sometimes this just isn’t the reality. Sometimes all that silence brings about is loneliness. And then he can start to wonder if this was such a good idea after all. And he looks around and notices that everything around him reminds him of you. Now, it might make things easier if he would just tell you all of this, but many men will not. Instead, they’ll call you and do annoying things like asking what, or how, you are doing.

    He Might Be Feeling Insecure: It’s very common for separated spouses to admit that they at least partly suspect that their spouse might eventually see other people during the separation. Your spouse might be acting on this suspicion or just looking for reassurance, which leads me to my next point.

    He’s Trying To Determine Your Frame Of Mind: It’s common for the spouse who initiated the separation to have a strong suspicions that you are going to be resentful and angry. Therefore, he might want to keep in close touch to gauge your feelings. He may want to see if your resentment is going to drive you away. And he may be feeling some remorse for his actions.

    Taking Some Positive Implications From These Annoying Questions: I know that this is probably very frustrating. But there is some positive indications here. If he didn’t care at all, he wouldn’t be calling. If he wasn’t thinking about you at all and was living it up and celebrating his freedom, he wouldn’t be calling either. And since this wife didn’t want the separation in the first place and wanted to save her marriage, this was hopefully good news to her.

    How To Respond When He Keeps Calling And Asking What You’re Doing: First, you have to decide what you really want to happen. And ultimately, this wife wanted her husband to come home. I know that it’s tempting to say something like ‘well what do you think I’m doing? I’m sitting here staring at my sister and living in a strange place because you made me leave my own home for your silly separation,’ but this is a bad idea. Because you don’t want to discourage him from reaching out to you. Instead, you want to make him want to check in and initiate contact with you. So, as difficult as it may be, try to sound as upbeat as possible. Trying to make him feel guilty is the wrong call too, because it brings about pain and makes him want to avoid you. With that said, you don’t want to make it sound as if you are sitting by the phone waiting for his call. You want for him to know that you have too much self respect for that.

    An appropriate response might be something like: “not much. I’m just spending some time with my sister. We’ll probably go out and grab some dinner in a little while. What are you doing?”

    Notice I was light hearted and I turned the question back to him. And I alluded to the fact that no one was sitting around waiting. By asking what he was doing, you’re leaving it open ended for him to share his feelings. He might say that he’s not doing anything because he’s lonely. Or he might say that what he’s really doing is missing you. The point is to not engage with him and don’t ask him why he keeps calling you with his silly questions. Try to stay positive because this really is a good sign. It means he is interested and that he is reaching out. And not all separated spouses fall into this category. Some husbands rarely call their wives at all, let alone care about their experiences or feelings.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

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  • My Wife Is So Sensitive! How to Manage This in a Compassionate Way

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    Feeling as though you’re walking on eggshells in your own home is never a good thing. Although women don’t have the market cornered when it comes to sensitivity, it can be a huge issue for many wives. Living with a woman who is super sensitive leaves a man on edge and can affect the emotional connection he feels with his spouse. Trying to deal with this in an effective and compassionate manner takes some insight, some carefully chosen words and a lot of patience.

    It’s very rare for a woman who is sensitive to only be that way with her husband. Sensitive people tend to carry that trait into every relationship they have including work based ones as well as other family connections. If your wife is just as sensitive with her siblings, her parents or the people she works with, you can take at least some small degree of comfort in that. It doesn’t, however, help you to deal with it in a way that will help your wife manage her sensitivity issues while at the same time ensuring your marriage continues to grow.

    Since you are her life partner you must become the safest person in your wife’s life. You want her to feel as though you’re the one person who truly understands her and isn’t focused on hurting her. To that end you must treat her as the fragile person she is. Simply telling a sensitive person to grow a backbone or to grow up only makes matters worse. People who are sensitive by nature, absorb negative things very deeply so they continually need positive reinforcement.

    Tell your wife on a daily basis how special you believe she is. Give her examples of what you mean. If she’s a considerate and doting mother, tell her you recognize that. If she’s committed to her career and is a perfectionist in that regard, let her know that you deeply admire her drive. If she senses that you are her biggest supporter, she’s going to see you as the shining light of her life.

    It’s incredibly challenging to have any type of productive disagreement with someone who is very sensitive. Even one harsh comment or negative remark can set them into an emotional tailspin. Once that happens nothing is accomplished and the initial conflict becomes more far reaching because feelings are deeply hurt.

    It’s important not to approach your wife if you’re incredibly angry or frustrated. It can be hard to temper what you feel in a moment like that and you may inadvertently say something that will pain her deeply, causing her to retreat into herself. Whatever the conflict is, it will still be there in an hour or two when you’ve had time to cool down a bit and logically think about the best way to initiate a conversation with your wife about it. If you come to a discussion like this with a calm and rational tone, your wife won’t feel too defensive which will help you to solve whatever the problem is.

    You can’t control what anyone else says or does to your wife. Sensitivity is often accompanied with low self esteem issues. It might be commonplace in your marriage for your wife to feel hurt or rejected by others if they criticize her in anyway. Once this happens explain to her that she can’t please everyone but the people who love her most think she’s remarkable. Hearing those words from you, when she’s feeling down, will help her tremendously.

    Love your wife the best way you can and be her supporter at every turn. By being sensitive in your own way to her sensitivity issues you’ll build a stronger and more mutually satisfying marriage. Your wife needs you to understand her so show her that you’re going to do that and more by always being mindful of her feelings.

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    Source by Gillian Reynolds

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  • How to Heal Vulvar Varicosities During Pregnancy and Postpartum

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    Vulvar varicose vein compression therapy treatment during pregnancy can relieve pain and reduce symptoms.

    You are not alone if you have vulvar varicosities. This may not be a hot topic of conversation, but many women during pregnancy experience swelling of veins in the vagina or vulva. This condition often occurs during pregnancy due to increased blood flow and pressure on the pelvic floor resulting in varicose veins of the vulva or vagina.

    The symptoms of vulvar varicosities are:

    • pain in the vulva area
    • feeling of fullness or pressure
    • swelling and discomfort

    In more extreme cases the full, dilated blood vessels can resemble dark purple, swollen veins (often really looking like large earthworms). There are several steps you can take to prevent this condition from worsening, reduce swelling, and potentially heal the varicosities.

    Take action to care for yourself so that your pregnancy will be comfortable and healthy.

    Treatment:

    #1 WEAR A COMPRESSION SUPPORT GARMENT

    Wearing an abdominal band with compression therapy groin bands is essential in supporting vulvar varicosities. Direct compression on the vulvar varicosities and/or vaginal varicosities help to prevent swelling, adds support to the swollen veins and helps move the blood along in the pelvic floor area to prevent pooling and varicosities. Some support wear products also provide shoulder straps to the system which is even more beneficial because they provide a lift to the abdomen further reducing pressure on the pelvic floor.

    #2 AVOID STANDING FOR LONG PERIODS OF TIME

    Avoid standing for long hours and try to take breaks to relieve the pressure on your pelvis with short intervals of sitting or lying down. If you have a job which requires standing, it is even more important to wear compression support during these hours to counter act the pressure from your added weight of the baby and gravity pulling downward on your varicosities. Ask your employer to provide intervals of time where you can change your standing position to sitting. Ideally lie down for 10 minutes here and there throughout the day. This is obviously not realistic for some jobs, however, you are pregnant and do have rights at your job relating to the safety of both you and your baby. Get a note from your obstetrician stating your needs and present this to your employer.

    #3 ELEVATE YOUR HIPS

    When you lie down, elevate your hips by putting a pillow underneath your bottom. This helps improve the blood flow in the pelvic floor area and reduce swelling in the veins.

    #4 COOL COMPRESS

    When you have a chance to lie down, place cool compresses on the vulvar varicosities to ease pain and reduce the swelling. Make sure the packs are refrigerator cool, not frozen so that the temperature feels comfortable and relieving.

    #5 AVOID LIFTING HEAVY OBJECTS

    If you have a toddler this is difficult, but try to avoid lifting heavy objects. Squat down to talk with your toddler, or sit down and ask him/her to sit on your lap to talk instead of lifting him/her. Ask for help lifting groceries or other heavy objects. ASK FOR HELP! I need to say this again because women are generally the ‘helpers’ and tend not to ask for help. As a pregnant woman you need to take care of yourself. Who knows, you may make another person’s day by reaching out and asking for their help.

    You can get even more information on vulvar varicosities or confirm the information in this short article by reading:

    Mayo Clinic article on Vulvar varicosities

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    Source by Caroline Christensen

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  • How to Make Passive Income As an Affiliate Marketer

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    Searching for the perfect affiliate program

    1. Go for affiliate programs, which cover numerous niches. For instance, Amazon affiliate program covers just about all niches possible when it comes to eBooks, physical products and a lot more. On the other hand, you will find some places where you can sign up and they represent as the main affiliate for thousands of companies.
    1. Search for your favorite search engine and enter you niche and the affiliate program. For instance; singing + affiliate program. Then, you will be provided with some options in the singing niche.

    There are thousands of places marketers like you could be an affiliate, which includes online digital items at the same time places where you can sign up and get access to participate in private affiliate programs.

    So How can you Build Passive Income From Affiliate Marketing?

    The key here is very simple. Make a very simple yet a very efficient review product/website/group product. It is important that you learn some SEO and basic traffic generating technique.

    Does it work?

    With commitment, attitude and right training, expect that it will absolutely work for you. Remember that if this whole money-making thing is new to you, it is important that you do not distress yourself with making the website. For instance, if you have a business in a box-training, you could have your site up and running in just less than five minutes along with no skills or prior experience.

    Thus, let’s think that you have your own free site from a trusted and recommended source. Now, what are you going to do? Within the training you will talk more about the niche. You are aware that niche is the category, product, hobby and interest, etc. once you have a site about Golf umbrellas, then your niche would be Golf Umbrellas. Therefore, you could name your site something like Golfumbrellasforyou.com.

    Along with the training, it is better if you look forward a little. You should think about what your new site will look like. For instance, “Classic Golf umbrellas” as a section of the site, “Golf Umbrellas” for all gender for the next section, and more. In this way, you could plan on which keywords you will search for.

    How about the keywords?

    Keywords are the secret words, which only the keyword tools could tell. They are the words utilized by people in the Google Search. As an affiliate marketer your job is to know how many times every month someone searches for the phrases “What is the best golf umbrella” as a good example.

    With these steps on how to generate passive income, you should remember that it would take you some time and effort to achieve the best result. However, through commitment and passion in doing this, for sure you are not far from reaching that goal.

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    Source by Stephen Enis

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  • Should You Attempt To Show Your Spouse Affection During A Marital Separation?

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    Many people who are reluctantly separated are not sure how they are supposed to act around their separated spouse. This can seem very odd. After all, this is your spouse that we are talking about. Chances are, you have known him for a very long time and being around him should feel as natural as breathing. However, if you are separated and want to reconcile, you can sometimes sense that you are on shaky ground with your spouse. You don’t want to do or say anything that will make him uncomfortable or drive him away. And yet, the wish to reach out to him can be hard to ignore.

    Someone might ask, “How do people handle the showing of affection during trial separations? My husband and I have only been separated for a short time and honestly, I’m not quite sure of protocol here. My husband was over visiting the kids this weekend and we were discussing a sad issue with my husband’s extended family. My husband was upset and I went to hug him, with no ulterior motive whatsoever. I simply wanted to give him some comfort. I didn’t really think about it beforehand. But when I did it, I felt my husband bristle. He literally stiffened at my touch. I pulled away and tried not to make a big deal of it. Later I talked about this with one of my friends and she suggested that perhaps I should not show physical affection to my husband while we are separated. She said that when you separated, you aren’t necessarily loving on one another. Is this true? Should I not be showing affection to my husband right now? He wanted to separate. I did not, but none of this means that I don’t love him anymore. If I shouldn’t show him affection, I could stop. But I don’t really want to. I feel like I’ve already lost so much. Do people really not show affection while separated?”

    It really does depend on the couple. I know some couples who continue to hug, kiss, have sex, etc, while separated. And I know others who hesitate to touch in any way. There is really no hard and fast rule about this. And in my opinion and observation (based and on my own separation,) I think that it is best if you either follow the understandings that you’ve already established. Or, if you have not established boundaries, you either ask now or read your spouse’s cues to determine his comfort level.

    My husband seemed pretty uncomfortable in similar situations and finally I just asked him. I literally said, “Should I not do this?” when I attempted to reach out to him. My husband didn’t flat out tell me no, but he was clearly not comfortable with physical affection in the beginning of our separation. So I eventually decided to just allow him to take the lead. That way, I didn’t have to worry about doing something that would hurt communication between us. Instead, I eventually focused on trying to be comfortable and to laugh and relax with one another so that he’d want to keep communicating. Further down the road, he was the one to initiate physical affection and I believe that this worked best for us, but that may not be true of every couple.

    I do also know that things may change from one day to the next. There might be a time when your spouse pulls away from you and then three days later, he’s reaching out to hug you. It can certainly be confusing and can give you mixed signals. However, I don’t think that you can ever go wrong by being friendly and supportive, but also observant as to how he is acting and how receptive that he might be at the time.

    I realize that this is frustrating. I used to think during my own separation that it just should not be so hard to know how to act around my own husband. But I think that if I would have pressed the issue and pushed affection when he wasn’t receptive, that might have delayed our progress even more. I learned that you really do have to take a gradual approach and just accept the progress that you are given.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

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  • Numerology’s Habit Challenge; Hidden Strength From Your Name

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    All of us know what it’s like to have a crisis on our hands. When you have such a problem, where do you find the ability to deal with it? Numerology can help you find out what your basic approach is to solving the really hard problems in life. You just need to calculate your Habit Challenge.

    The Habit Challenge has several names: Submerged Characteristic and Habit number to name a few. This value reveals a hidden strength which you can use when problems are especially difficult for you. You don’t call on it often, but it’s there when you need it. Note: since this value is based on your use name, it can change throughout your lifetime.

    Habit Challenge Calculation

    Your Habit Challenge is calculated by counting the number of digits in your use name, and then reducing the total by fadic addition. For example actor Johnny Depp’s habit challenge value is (1) as shown below:

    Johnny Depp = (6 + 4) = (10) = (1 + 0) = (1)

    Habit Challenge (1) – Originality

    Your value gives you the ability to find an original solution to difficult problems, often to the surprise of others. Choosing to take the lead in these problems brings quick results.

    Habit Challenge (2) – Follower

    Your value gives you the ability to be a good follower; to let others lead and to obey orders when necessary. Collaboration is usually successful and some skill in diplomacy is present.

    Habit Challenge (3) – Imagination

    Your value gives you the ability to use your imagination and creativity to solve unusually difficult problems; you will find an artistic solution. You don’t always take these kinds of problems seriously.

    Habit Challenge (4) – Logic

    Your value gives you the ability to use logic and set reasonable goals to solve unusually difficult problems. Detailed, unemotional analysis will be your tools. You prefer a practical and orthodox solution to these problems. You will remain emotionally calm and cool in these situations.

    Habit Challenge (5) – Adaptive

    Your value gives you the ability to be adaptable, take risks, and accept changes to solve unusually difficult problems. New, untried solutions can work for you. You will show quickness of thought and versatility in these situations.

    Habit Challenge (6) – Responsible

    Your value gives you the ability to be responsible and sympathetic to the needs of others in solving unusually difficult problems. The effects on friends and family will be considered in reaching your solution.

    Habit Challenge (7) – Meditation

    Your value gives you the ability to meditate and seek within yourself to solve unusually difficult problems. You will tend to reject unsought advice and work to find your own solutions. You will wait to act until conditions are perfect to solve these problems.

    Habit Challenge (8) – Ruthless

    Your value gives you the ability to be efficient and ruthless in solving unusually difficult problems. You will set goals and work long and hard on them in these situations. Determination and persistence will be used in solving these problems.

    Habit Challenge (9) – Broad Minded

    Your value gives you the ability to take a broad-minded and idealistic approach to solve unusually difficult problems. You will be generous towards others in these situations. You will have unexpected and dramatic reactions to any opposition in solving these problems.

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    Source by Keith Abbott

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