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Women Managers Leaving Corporations for Entrepreneurship

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Increasingly, women managers are choosing to “opt out” when corporations fail to meet their professional needs. Opting out–the latest catch phrase within corporate circles–describes the growing trend of leaving corporate positions for alternative career paths.

A significant number of women managers are leaving large companies to start their own businesses. In fact,

women are quitting corporate jobs in favor of entrepreneurship at twice the rate of men, making a significant impact on the traditional and online marketplace, according to Cheskin Research, a California-based strategic market research and consulting company.

Recent research indicates interesting trends for women entrepreneurs. According to the Center for Women’s Business research, the number of women-owned U.S. businesses grew at twice the rate of all firms between 1997 and 2002. And the U.S. Small Business Administration reports that women-owned businesses account for 28 percent of all privately-owned companies. They employ 9.2 million people and contribute $2.38 trillion in revenue to the U.S. economy.

Why Women Managers are Leaving Corporate America?

Women used to be willing to devote their time, energy, and effort to the corporation’s needs–at the expense of meeting their own professional goals. But not anymore. They’re starting their own businesses in an effort to gain more freedom, recognition, money, opportunities and other rewards.

Fifty-one percent of women business owners with prior private-sector experience cite the desire for more flexibility as the major reason for leaving corporate positions, according to a study by Catalyst, a nonprofit research and advisory organization working to advance professional women. Twenty-nine percent said restrictive glass-ceiling issues drove them out the door. Of those women, 44 percent felt their contributions were not recognized or valued.

“As women walk out the door after years of training,” said Catalyst President Sheila Wellington, “what really walks out is the potential that those women would have brought to Corporate America.”

The Catalyst research–co-sponsored by the National Foundation for Women Business Owners, the Committee of 200, and Salomon Smith Barney–also revealed that:

o A third of the women surveyed by said they weren’t taken seriously by their employer or supervisor.

o Fifty-eight percent of them said that nothing would attract them back to the corporate world.

o Twenty-four percent said they could be lured back by more money, and 11 percent by greater flexibility.

Keeping Women in Corporations

Experts say corporate America isn’t doing enough to keep women from walking out the door. Companies need to focus on providing flexibility, as well as continuing challenges and opportunities for personal growth, to retain women whom they view as high-potential or who are already significant contributors, says Catalyst. In addition, companies should identify potential women managers early in their careers, reward women’s bottom-line contributions, and recruit female entrepreneurs to corporate boards and senior line positions.

Expanding opportunities for women in leadership will require corporate change, as well as accommodations on the part of women themselves. Corporate cultures must support initiatives such as giving women high-visibility assignments, making gender diversity a part of succession planning and holding managers accountable for women’s advancements.

Women managers can hone their leadership ability by seeking out risky, high profile assignments. If they need to strengthen their leadership skills to meet new challenges, they should consider hiring an executive coaching firm. For example, QuadWest Associates of Michigan offers a variety of business coaching and leadership development services to help executives optimize their skills and performance.

By investing in coaching services, women managers can position themselves to expand their boundaries. This can help them excel–whether they remain in a corporate setting or strike out on their own.

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Source by Susan West

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February 4, 2020
Repricing on Health Insurance Claims

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We have all heard the stories of the emergency room claim that cost $10,000 for a broken thumb, or the person who had to file bankruptcy from the huge bill while using a network outside of their HMO. These stories have been the fuel for arguments on what should be done with our Nation’s healthcare system. The truth is these stories occur more than most people realize, and many have misconceptions on how this happens. This is why it is crucial to have the right billing network to take advantage of most favorable, predetermined pricing available.

Lets take a look at a couple of scenarios where one person is stuck with a high medical bill and the other is protected. Suppose that two people walk into an emergency room for the same injury, one having adequate health insurance and the other having none. The emergency room is going to immediately know that each patient will be billed differently. The person with the right network billing plan will be able to take advantage of a nationwide network, allowing predetermined pricing for most any medical condition you can name. The other will be at the mercy of what the emergency room decides to charge. Depending on the medical condition, the difference of what is paid out could be upwards of tens of thousands of dollars. The catch is, in order to receive this predetermined billing you must have access to the participating billing network.

When you take a closer look at how these billing networks work it becomes clear where you may be exposed, especially on smaller networks. No one knows this better than the self employed and those who do not get insurance offered through work. When an individual purchases health insurance on the exchange (Healthcare.gov), the only network options available in Texas are HMO, or restricted networks. These networks are formed for the insurance company and the medical institution to share losses, while hoping to bring in excess volume of patients to offset the claims. Even these smaller type of HMO networks can have big holes in their billing networks. For example, if an individual has a surgery within their HMO network they may still have an unpleasant surprise when the final bill comes. Although their surgeon is likely covered, both the anesthesiologist and the surgical tools rented for the surgery might fall out of the billing HMO network, causing thousands of dollars to be paid by the patient. You guessed it, not a word of warning, just a bill that the health insurance will not cover well after the surgery.

The only way to avoid a small HMO network pricing trap is to take advantage of much larger billing networks, allowing you to avoid the uncovered pitfalls. These larger networks, or providers, can have hundreds of thousands of doctors and medical institutions participating coast to coast. Many of these nationwide networks make it mandatory for their preferred discount to be the primary, or front runner, method of billing, protecting the patient’s financial interests from any threat of overpricing. In fact, these predetermined pricing modules are so accurate some insurance companies form their coverage to mirror the preferred billing, therefore limiting the out of pocket expense by thousands of dollars. Those who utilize this service can rest easy knowing that their interests will be protected moving forward from the right billing network with unrestricted networks nationwide.

Although these billing network giants are elusive in today’s ACA health insurance environment, they do exist across the nation, Texas included. In fact, I have helped dozens and dozens of clients take advantage of these unrestricted networks over the last few months alone, at much more reasonable premiums than ACA policies. It is important to consider the network billing plans when choosing the right heath insurance plan for your family, especially for those who do not qualify for a subsidy (Federal income credit given to those with limited financial means). It is extremely important to speak to a health insurance professional who has access to these unrestricted billing networks, in order to protect your financial interests.

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Source by Cal J Burgess

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February 4, 2020
Self-Healing Cutting Mats – How to Cut Them to Size

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A self-healing cutting mat (or rhino cutting mat as they are also known) is an extremely useful tool for any professional in the signage industry, as well as for printers, designers, dressmakers and many other craftspeople. They provide a large cutting surface that is safe for a rotary cutter and can be used again and again without leaving score marks. They can be purchased in standard sizes from medium to super-size and often are available in custom sizes to fit a particular production table or counter.

However there are times when you need to cut your rhino mat to size. Perhaps you’ve moved it from a larger table to a smaller one, perhaps custom sizes weren’t available or were more expensive? So what is the best way of trimming a self-healing cutting mat to size?

Clean cut

If you want to keep mess to a minimum, scoring is the answer. Score it a long a straight edge, apply bending pressure and then score again. It will cut through quickly and cleanly this way.

Quick and messy

A circular saw will do the job in no time if you don’t mind clearing up the mess! Make sure you have your industrial vacuum cleaner handy.

Curved edges, irregular shapes

If your production space has curved edges or an irregular shape, try cutting the mat in place to fit the shape with a router. Clamp the mat in place and use a flush trim bit, running it all the way round the table. This is also quick and easy, if a little messy.

Once you have your rhino cutting mat trimmed to exactly the right size your production table will be all set up for cutting, trimming and all those other tasks. If you have some reasonably sized off-cuts don’t throw them away. They can be used to make mini cutting mats for smaller jobs, or portable cutting mats for when you are out and about and need to do some last minute trimming alterations. Even a small A4 size piece is handy, so trim the off cuts into usable pieces and keep them for future use.

Of course many places that supply self-healing cutting mats will cut them to custom sizes for no extra charge, so do check first when buying a new one. You could easily save yourself the trouble of cutting yours to size and have it delivered already a perfect fit for your table.

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Source by Jo Connelly

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February 3, 2020
TOP TEN Pound 4 Pound Best Boxer Ever

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Before we start our list, I wanted to take some time to comment on 2 fighters that may have strong support in certain communities for being among the best ever, but truly do not have a place on the list.

NOT RANKED

Rocky Marciano – Won 49 Lost 0, 43 KO

Ask any Italian who the greatest boxer ever was, and you will never hear the names Ali, Louis or Sugar. Nope. You will only hear the name Rocky Marciano, the only heavyweight champion to retire undefeated. To his credit, Rocky Marciano did make a habit of beating up his opponents in the ring. Add the fact that his most notable victory was over his childhood idle, Joe Louis, whom he sent back into retirement. But Joe was well past his prime. He also beat Archie Moore, but he also was already in his early forties. So to the entire nation of Italy and her children I say to you, Rocky Marciano could not beat any of the champions in my Top T.E.N.

Lennox Lewis – 41 wins, 2 losses, 1 draw, 32 KO

Lewis will most likely go down as one of the most intelligent, calculated champions ever. But that is not what pound for pound is based on. Lennox was able to capitalize on Tyson’s jail term to reign as champion, then got out before the Klitchko brothers could undo the legacy he has manufactured for himself. He stayed an extra 4 years as an amateur to win a gold metal against younger opponents (Riddick Bowe for the medal bout). He then became champion only because Bowe gave up the title. He backed out of Tyson’s way (accepting a huge multi-million dollar payoff from Don King as payment for Tyson taking his ranking) as he was climbing back up to regain the championship that was handed to him. I believe that history will judge him for the fake that he truly is.

And now, to the top ten best pound for pound boxers:

10 – Mike Tyson – 50 wins, 5 losses, 2 no contests, 44 KO

No other fighter has been called “the baddest man on the planet”. Mike Tyson was perhaps the most feared person in boxing history. Up until Buster Douglas embarrassed Iron Mike, Mike Tyson made fighters give up. Going up through the amateur ranks, boxers actually lost on purpose so as to not fight Tyson in tournaments. How ironic that Tyson’s worst defeat was not to a boxer, but to a beauty pageant contestant named Desiree Washington. There is a great chance that had Tyson not suffered a 3-year setback, he would have easily moved up and be universally recognized as one of the best ever.

9 – (Big) George Foreman – Won 76 lost 5, 68 KO

Foreman’s biggest enemy opponent has always been himself. He could not accept defeat. After making his name as one of the most dominant fighter ever, his loss to Ali took him out of professional boxing for over a year. He made his first comeback attempt in 1977, knocking out his next 5 opponents (including Frazier, again), only to retire after losing a 12 round decision. A decade later, Foreman made an improbable comeback at the age of 38. Foreman made it again near the top of the boxing rankings, and despite suffering setbacks against Holyfield and Tommy Morrison, Foreman shocked the world when he stunned Michael Moore with a knock out in the 10th round. His next few bouts further proved that even unto his late 40th, Foreman was still a formidable force.

8 – (Sugar) Ray Leonard – 36 Wins, 3 Loss, 1 Draw, 25 KO

Leonard has to be on this list if only for the pure psychology he was able to inflict on his opponents. Only Ali could get into his opponents head more. Add to that all the titles his has own, in multiple weight divisions, and you have your number 8 all time. Like most great fighters, he just did not know when to quit, so you will have to ignore the last few fights of his career. Sugar Ray beat them all, from Duran (No Mas, No Mas), to Hagler, then Hearns, Sugar Ray’s stock only dropped because of his own issues. He first retired due to a detached retina, and it can be argued that a serious cocaine habit between 84 and 89 further damaged his career.

7 – (Marvelous) Marvin Hagler – 62 Wins, 3 Losses, 2 Draws, 52 KO

Yes, we have the Marvelous one ahead of Leonard, even though Leonard beat Hagler in their one encounter. Hagler was so distraught by that loss that he left before, and even refuses to talk about that fight today. Hagler’s only 2 losses were early on in his career, and he responded to them by beating both fighters. He would have continued to dominate the middleweight division had he not suffered the mentally debilitating loss to Leonard. While Hopkins has been middleweight champion longer, with more title defenses, it can be argued that he never faced opponents the caliber of Duran and Hearns, both of whom Hagler defeated.

6 – Archie Moore – 181 wins, 24 losses, 9 draws and 1 no contest, 145 KO

Looking at the record, it is easy to see why the “Old Mongoose” or “Ancient Archie” has made it to the list. Archie’s career spanned over 4 decades, and it the only fighter to have faced by Rocky Marciano and Muhammed Ali. Archie was a better Light Heavyweight than he was a pure Heavyweight. He had his light heavyweight title stripped from him twice because he was too busy fighting at a higher weight class. No other fighter has knocked out as many professional opponents as Archie.

5 – Roy Jones Jr – 49 wins, 3 losses, 38 KO

This particular selection is highly debatable, and may end with Roy’s removal from the list completely. While there is no denying his talent, there is question as to if his showmanship and opponent section unfairly propelled him into his status. Winning a championship fight after playing paid basketball the same day was previously unheard of. As was becoming a champion at middleweight all the way up to heavyweight. Before his last two fights, Jones’ only defeat was a bogus call after he was disqualified against Montell Griffin, which he quickly avenged. Jones has at least warranted due considering, and an initial entry to the list.

4 – Joe (Brown Bomber) Louis – Won 68 Lost 3, 54 KO

While there seems to be some dispute over whether 5 of his victories by KO were exhibition matches or not, there is a consensus not take seriously 2 of his 3 losses in failed comeback attempts. The last, and most humiliating defeat was an 8th round KO through the ropes by Rocky Marciano. The Brown Bomber was so much in debt, that he tried to come back well past his prime. The fact that so much cultural identify was thrust upon his shoulders, made Joe Louis not only one of the greatest pure fighters, but a true icon for America’s 2nd class citizens. Joe will be best known for his 1st round KO over Germany’s Max Schmeling in 1938. Schmeling beat the favored Louis in 12 years only a few years earlier. Even when Joe won the Heavyweight title by knockout, he refused to be called champion until he settled the score with Schmeling. It is this attitude that made him a national hero despite his color.

3 – Julio Cesar Chavez – Won 104 Lost 5, 2 draws, 80 KO

Julio is a Mexican world champion boxer who won world titles in 3 different divisions. Among the world champions that Chávez defeated in his career are Edwin Rosario, Jose Luis Ramirez, Rocky Lockridge, Meldrick Taylor, Roger Mayweather, Sammy Fuentes, Héctor “Macho” Camacho, Juan Laporte, and Tony López. Chavez went 13 years before not winning a fight, with a draw to Pernell Whitaker, and it was another year later before he suffered his first defeat which was avenged 4 months later. Only in his last 8 years of his 24 year career did Chavez acount for 4 of his 5 losses to 3 different oppenents. He was able to avenge his lose to Willey Wise, but failed in second attempt to Oscar De La Hoya.

2 – Muhammed (Louisville Lip) Ali – won 56 Lost 5, 37 KO

In my book, Ali will also go down as one of the greatest human beings of all time. As purely a boxer, only a “what could have been” during his 3 year lay off after refusing to go to Vietnam prevents him from being the best ever. He came back after 3 years to lose his first of three asking Joe Frazier. Both were undefeated at the time. The same happened with Ken Norton. In both cases, Ali came back to whup them in the next 2 fights. Although the two became friends later on, Ali is also credited with knocking Foreman out in the ring, out of boxing, and onto the pulpit. Leon Spinks got Ali during his declining years, but Ali still come back to beat him in 1979. What happened to Ali in the next two fights against Holmes and Berbick is eerily similar to what is happening now with Roy Jones Jr. In neither case, should those 2 fights be included into what was an otherwise spectacular career.

1 – (Sugar) Ray Robinson 179 wins, 19 losses, 6 draws, 2 no contests, 109 KO

While many fighters have held that nickname over the years, none have been as sweet as Ray Robinson, whose real name was actually Walker Smith Jr. Robinson won the middleweight title an unprecedented 5 times. Even Muhammed Ali referred to Sugar Ray as the greatest fighter ever (it is rumoured that Robinson actually refused to give Ali an autograph when Ali met him while Ali was still young, and Clay). Unlike Moore, the majority of Robinson’s losses came at the end of his career.

Honorable Mention

Floyd Mayweather Jr – 32 Wins, 0 Losses, 21 Knockouts

Now regarded (arguably) as the best active pound for pound boxer

Roberto Duran – 103 Wins, 16 Loss, 69 Knockouts

He will forever by scarred by his 8th round quit job on Sugar Ray Leonard.

Evander (Real Deal) Holyfield – 38 Wins, 7 Losses, 2 Draw, 25 KO

Was undisputed cruiserweight and heavyweight champion of the world. He also was the man that destroyed the aura that was Mike Tyson. He will have his place in boxing history, but not as one of the greatest ever.

(Smokin’) Joe Frazier – 32 wins, 4 losses, 1 draw, 27 KO

Also one of the most feared fighters ever, but 2 losses to Ali and Foreman will keep him off this list.

Thomas Hearns – 59 wins 4 Loss 1 Draw, 46 KO

AKA “the Hit Man” and “the Motor City Cobra”, Hearns won seven world championships in six weight classes during his 22 year pro career. But losses to Leonard (his first ever) and Hagler will keep him off the list.

Bernard Hopkins – 45 wins, 2 losses, 1 draw, 1 NC, 32 KO

More so than Hagler, Hopkins had a slow start to his career. When he finally won the belt, he has defended against the best of the 90’s and 2000. He may end up considered in the 10 top yet.

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Source by

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February 3, 2020
Created To Bond – Changes That Heal Part II
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Failure To Develop Relationships

Emotional ties have a dramatic effect on our well-being. When one fails to develop relationships or bond with others, it can and often does affect their ability to stave off or recover from a variety of not only physical but also emotional ills. When they learn to attach to and trust others, they begin to develop not only emotionally, but also psychologically. Thus, their ability to bond with others… to become closely knit, often carryover into their home life.

When a child is distressed, he/she may show unusual signs such as increased pulse, increased or labored respiration, helplessness, and hopelessness and may easily become enraged. These signs are often seen when the biological parent remarries and the child tends to believe that he/she must compete with the step-parent for the biological parent’s attention.

When the adoptive or step-parent enters the situation with food, physical contact, compassion and other help, the child learns her parents can meet her needs. The child is then more active and able to respond to stimulation such as playing. When the child is content, she is able to sleep and feel comfortable in her surroundings.

According to Deborah Gray, author of Attaching in Adoption, “attachment is a relationship formed primarily with members of the family and requires more time and interaction to be created. Attachment is what most adoptive parents are referring to when they talk about bonding with their child. Adopted children of all ages may have an attachment to their birth family, even if the relationship was neglectful or abusive. Many adoption experts agree that if a child can form an attachment to birth and foster parents, she will have the skills to attach to her adoptive family as well.”

Signs of Secure Attachment

The parental attachment process can often take weeks or years to fully develop, and in some cases there maybe pervasive attachment disorders for which professional therapy will be required. A strong indicator of whether attachment is taking place is the comfort with which the adoptive or step-parent is able to recognize the child’s needs. It is important to remember that the repetition of parents meeting a child’s needs is the foundation of forming a secure attachment with children of all ages, not just infants.

The attachment bond shapes an infant’s brain

The attachment bond is the term for our first interactive love relationship-the one we had with our primary caregivers, that is, our mothers. The mother-child attachment bond is instrumental in shaping infants brains. This important attachment profoundly influences our self-esteem, our expectations of others, and our ability to attract and maintain successful relationships. So, the success, or failure, of our first love-the attachment bond-has a life-long effect.

Our secure attachment bond shapes our abilities to:
- feel safe
- develop meaningful connections with others
- explore our world
- deal with stress
- balance emotions
- experience comfort and security
- make sense of our lives
- create positive memories and expectations of relationships
Attachment bonds are as unique as we are. Primary caretakers do not have to be perfect. They do not have to always be in agreement with their infants’ emotions, but it helps if they are emotionally available a majority of the time.

We were born with an innate or preprogrammed need to bond with one very significant person-our primary caregiver, usually our mother. Like all infants, you were a small bundle of disjointed emotions-intensely experiencing fear, anger, sadness, and joy, often at the same time. The natural emotional attachment that grew between you and your caregiver was the first interactive relationship of your life, and it depended upon nonverbal communication. Therefore, the bonding you experienced in this relationship determined how you would relate to other people throughout your life. This bonding relationship established the foundation for all verbal and nonverbal communication in your future relationships.

For better or worse, the attachment bond profoundly influences the infant brain. It is a baby’s first love relationship. When the primary caretaker can manage personal stress, calm the infant, communicate through emotion, share joy, and forgive easily, the young child’s nervous system becomes “securely attached.” The strong foundation of a secure attachment bond enables the child to be self-confident, trusting, hopeful, and comfortable in the face of conflict. As an adult, he or she will be flexible, creative, hopeful, and optimistic.

People who fail to establish this type of bonding relationship often experience confusing, frightening, or broken emotional communications during their infancy and often grow into adults who have difficulty understanding their own emotions and the feelings of others. This hampers their ability to establish, build and/or maintain attachments leading to successful relationships.

What is Attachment?

Attachment is the relationship between infants and their primary caregivers-is responsible for:
- shaping the success or failure of future intimate relationships
- the ability to maintain a normal emotional balance
- the ability to enjoy being ourselves and to find satisfaction in being with others
- the ability to successfully rebound from various disappointments, discouragement, and misfortune
Many scientific studies of the brain-and the primary role attachment plays in shaping it-has given us a new basis for understanding why vast numbers of people have great difficulty communicating with the most important individuals in their work and love lives. Once, we could only use guesswork to try and determine why important relationships never evolved, or developed chronic problems, or fell apart. Now, thanks to new insights into brain development, we can understand what it takes to help build and nurture productive and meaningful relationships at home and at work.

What is the attachment bond?

The mother-child bond is the primary force in infant development, according to the attachment bond theory pioneered by English psychiatrist John Bowlby and American psychologist Mary Ainsworth. The theory has gained strength through worldwide scientific studies and the use of brain imaging technology.

The attachment bond theory states that the relationship between infants and primary caretakers is responsible for:
- shaping all of our future relationships
- strengthening or damaging our abilities to focus, be conscious of our feelings, and calm ourselves
- the ability to bounce back from misfortune
Scientific research reveals the infant/adult interactions that result in a successful, secure attachment, where both people are aware of the other’s feelings and emotions is the necessary precursor for successful relationships. These studies also reveal troubled, or insecure attachment, in which the communication of feelings fails thus resulting in an inability to form the bind needed to establish a solid relationship. Researchers found that in order to have successful adult relationships there must exist in us and we must depend on the ability to:
- manage stress
- stay “tuned in” with emotions
- use communicative body language
- be playful in a mutually engaging manner
- be readily forgiving, relinquishing grudges
The same research also found that when an insecure attachment exists some type of abuse may have caused it, but it is just as likely to be caused by isolation or loneliness. These recent discoveries offer a new glimpse into successful love relationships. Taking these observations into account often provides the keys to identifying and repairing a love relationship that is strained or falling apart.

Insecure attachment affects adult relationships

Insecurity can be a significant problem in all of our lives, and it usually takes root when an infant’s attachment bond fails to provide the child with sufficient structure, recognition, understanding, safety, and mutual accord. These insecurities may lead us to:
- Tune out and turn off-Most often, if our parent is unavailable and self-absorbed, we may-as children-get lost in our own inner world, we become introverted, avoiding any close, emotional connections. This often causes us as adults to become physically and emotionally distant in relationships.
- Remain insecure-If we have parents who are inconsistent or intrusive, it’s more than likely that we will become unrealistically anxious and fearful, never knowing what to expect. Then as adults, we may become willingly available one moment and totally rejecting the next.
- Become disorganized, aggressive and angry-When our early needs for emotional closeness and comfort is neglected, or when a parent’s erratic behavior is a source of disorienting terror, emotional problems are sure to follow. As we grow into adults, we may lack the ability to love easily and may unknowingly be insensitive to the needs of our partner.
- Develop slowly-Problems often occur when we fail to develop as rapidly as we should, both emotionally and intellectually. Such developmental delays often manifest themselves in the form of deficits and often result in subsequent physical and mental health problems, and generally lead to social and learning disabilities.
Lessons Learned From Our Attachment Bond

There are many powerful, life-altering lessons we learn from our attachment bond-our first love relationship continues to teach us as adults. The gut-level knowledge we gained from this bond then guides us in improving our adult relationships and making them secure.

Lesson No. 1-All adult relationships depend on nonverbal forms of communication for their success. These nonverbal communication skills are learned in infancy. Newborn infants cannot talk, reason or plan; yet they are equipped to make sure their needs are met. Infants don’t know what they need, they feel what they need, and communicate accordingly. When an infant communicates with a caretaker who understands and meets their physical and emotional needs an attachment takes place and the strength of that attachment influences other relationships later in life.

Lesson No. 2-Relationships in which the parties are tuned in to each other’s emotions are called attuned relationships, and attuned relationships teach us that:
- nonverbal cues deeply impact our love relationships
- as we play it helps us smooth over the turbulent times we endure in love relationships
- inevitable conflicts can build trusting relationships if we approach them without fear or a need to punish or retaliate
When we can recognize knee-jerk memories, perceive expectations, inappropriate attitudes, unfounded assumptions and improper behaviors as problems resulting from insecure attachment bonds, we can squelch their influence and their effect on our adult relationships. That recognition allows us to readily reconstruct the healthy nonverbal communication skills that ultimately produce an attuned attachment and successful relationship.

Becoming an Adult and Relationship Orientation

As we grow into adulthood, for the most part we bring with us the ideas and communication lessons we have learned from the time of our infancy. Whether these are good or bad depends on our ability to not only view life from our perspective but also have the ability and the willingness to see things from the other person’s point of view as well. When we are able to do that, then we are in a more astute position to deal with situations and circumstances that are adverse to us.

As we move through the adolescent stage of life we find ourselves at odds not only with others but also with ourselves. We want to be an adult with all of its rights and privileges sooner that we can become one, yet at the same time we want to abdicate the responsibility that goes with that station in life. It is a time of being able to make your own decisions and taking authority over your own life, but you are not there yet. You must learn to maintain control of your impulsiveness and your inhibitions. You must be able to objectionably reevaluate your beliefs, see your parents and authority figures realistically, recognize and pursue your God-given talents and goals, and be willing to take ultimate responsibility for yourself. Finally you must be able to accept and appreciate people who are different.

This ability helps us to be able to accept the good and the bad because we are able to address situations in a mature manner. When we are able to do this, we place ourselves into a position of strength, resulting in a proper evaluation of ourselves. Thus we are able to overcome some of the most persistent problems we face daily because now we are not only able to see things in black and white but also in the various shades of gray. As such, we are able to make allowances for our and other peoples mistakes.

We at that point come to realize that everything in life doesn’t have to go our way in order for us to be happy. We gain a new perspective on ourselves, others and God as a result of our changed thinking. We are then able to deal with each other with mercy, in grace, with the understanding that we too make mistakes. When we move into the realm of tolerance and forgiveness, we are able to love others without them having to be perfect.

Yet, in order to accomplish the task and responsibility of growing up we must also be willing to take responsibility and be accountable for those things of which we have been put in charge. Those things include our attitude, tongue, and actions. As we continue to grow in stature and wisdom the maturity level of our life should also increase proportionately.

Differences Between Men And Women

From my experience in dealing with women, (my mother, aunts, seven sisters and many friends and associates) I find that the majority of women are generally oriented towards their existing friendship networks whereas men were more interested in meeting new people and finding people who had similar interests — in other words, men would rather enjoy the adventure of reaching out to new people rather than cementing their existing relationships.

These results contribute to the growing research on social capital, networking and highlight the importance of examining specific interactive applications. The importance of distinguishing between strong and weak ties plays a major role in establishing new relationships. Also, it is necessary to consider the importance of taking into account gender differences in social interaction patterns. Whereas, women increase their bonding social capital as a result of using these sites but men do not. Women, on the other hand, show a decrease in bonding social capital with those whom they meet outside of their normal sphere of influence.

The fear of incorporating emotional intimacy into these association/relationships is mainly due to a fear of rejection and engulfment – a fear of losing the other and/or losing yourself. To overcome this obstacle you must be able to establish an inner bond with yourself. Inner Bonding is a transformational process for healing the fear of intimacy related ideas that have been carried from past experiences.

The mental visualization of these experiences often cause us to digress into a self-contained state of emotional security that hinders our ability to openly tolerate the inconsistencies we see in others. As a result, we ourselves are moved to a protective state and therefore unable to deal with the negative feelings that we will invariably experience. This barrier can block us from resolving issues that in reality are non-issues.

The Immaturity In Adolescence

Struggles with adolescent identity and depression usually set in when an adolescent experiences a loss. The most important loss in their lives is the changing relationship between the adolescent and their parents. Adolescents may also experience strife in their relationships with friends. This may be due to the activities their friends take part in, such as smoking, which causes adolescents to feel as though participating in such activities themselves is likely essential to maintaining these friendships. Teen depression can be extremely intense at times because of physical and hormonal changes but emotional instability is part of adolescence. Their changing mind, body and relationships often present themselves as stressful and that change, they assume, is something to be feared.

Your experiences in life help you to mature. The maturity is developed when you know you have no one to blame for the past but the circumstances and your immaturity. Oftentimes your immaturity stopped you from having a proper perspective of the facts facts and seeing things as they were. This made you blame others for your sufferings. You may have created and escalated your suffering without realizing the facts and circumstances and taking a easy way out by holding others responsible for it.

You feel you are always on the receiving end of every wrong or perceived wrong due to your immaturity. However, life has a knack of replaying memories and after few years it recreates the same circumstances but this time puts you on the opposite side (giving end), you are left with no choice but to accept the fact that you were so immature then and have grow-up with years. As you mature, life makes you see your ‘old you’ in somebody else now in these replaying of circumstances and you know that the other person still has to wait years ahead to grow and realize these facts.

Maturity slowly leads to wisdom when you know that it is only you who has to stand up and take responsibility for your past – action / inaction, sufferings / failures instead of holding others responsible. It is truly said that you create your own happiness. By blaming others and holding grudges you keep happiness at bay and give way to hatred and self pity. However, with time and wisdom when you accept the responsibility for your sufferings and embrace all your successes without pride -you are truly happy.

Divorce And Its Affects On Maturity

Children of divorced parents often bitterly vow not to repeat the same mistakes. They want to avoid putting themselves and their own children through the pain that comes from the dissolution of a marriage. But, according to University of Utah researcher Nicholas H. Wolfinger, these children’s aspirations face unfavorable odds. “Growing up in a divorced family greatly increases the chances of ending one’s own marriage, a phenomenon called the divorce cycle or the intergenerational transmission of divorce.” Dr. Wolfinger has spent almost a decade studying the marriages of children from divorced homes in America. These children are more likely to marry during their teenage years, cohabitate and marry someone who is also a child of divorced parents. And they are also one-third less likely to marry if they are over age 20.

“Understanding the Divorce Cycle: The Children of Divorce in Their Own Marriages,” by Wolfinger, published by Cambridge University Press, contains important information for those interested in divorce and its repercussions. “Divorce is an important topic because it has so many consequences for well-being,” writes Wolfinger,

“Its transmission between generations adds a whole new dimension by perpetuating the cycle of divorce. The divorce cycle, in short, can be thought of as a cascade. Ending a marriage starts a cycle that threatens to affect increasing numbers of people over time, a sobering thought in an era when half of all new marriages fail.” His research also suggests that if one spouse comes from divorced parents, the couple may be up to twice as likely to divorce. Spouses who are both children of divorced parents are three times more likely to divorce as couples who both hail from intact families.

Besides observing the marital stability of the offspring of divorced couples, Wolfinger’s book provides another perspective on how parental divorce affects offspring marriage timing, mate selection, cohabitating relationships as well as historical trends in the divorce cycle. Wolfinger also explores the divorce reform movement in America and argues in favor of no-fault divorce laws, arguing that a return to an age of tough divorce laws would recreate the social conditions that used to make divorce harder on children.

It is my opinion considering all that has been written on this subject that one reason children from divorced families get divorced more often is because they have a tendency to marry as teenagers. Social history demonstrates that the older you are when you marry, the less likely you are to get divorced. It’s good advice for everyone.”

On the other hand, the more transitions children experience while growing up, the more they will experience as adults. Taking this into consideration, the question that needs to be asked is, “What is the hardest for kids is how many disruptions they experience — the up-and-down cycles.

This is a valid question because many children will have stepparents, and some will see their new families dissolve. This type of disruption occurs any time they lose a parent — except from death. That’s different, and doesn’t have the same negative effects on children… whereas divorce is ambiguous. Children wonder whether the divorce was their fault or who is to blame. And they wonder ‘Is he coming back?’” It is certainly good news that people are less likely to stay in high conflict marriages than they used to. However, “ending a low-conflict marriage may hurt children as much as staying in a high-conflict family,” and the odds of divorce transmission are actually highest if parents dissolve a marriage after little or no conflict. It therefore behooves us to evaluate the effects divorce will have upon our children and their emotional well being should we decide to travel that road.

But before making that decision, we should honestly examine ourselves and the motivating things that are moving us in that direction. This inventory, if prayerfully done will allow us to see the other persons point of view more clearly and thereby make the necessary adjustments, where warranted, to resolve the issues that precipitated situation to begin with. If we are truly willing to continue the relationship, then we must take the necessary steps needed to resolve the issues of what is good or bad by first considering what we could have done to alleviate the problem rather than casting blame. When we allow the power of forgiveness to flow in us we cannot only deal with the past and present, but also the future as bonds are cemented.

Gray, Deborah. Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today’s Parents. Indiana:Perspectives Press Inc., 2002.

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Source by Franklyn T. Johnson, Ph.D

Views: 0
February 3, 2020
Effects Of The Procrastination Habit

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Procrastination is often portrayed as a habit that takes place when somebody doesn’t want to do something or doesn’t feel the need to do it today. Many times, friends and family make small side jokes about how a person puts this task off or waits until the last second to do another task.

For many, however, the habit of procrastination can reach such chronic levels that it can have negative effects on their life. These effects range from financial difficulties, to broken relationships and even health problems. To those with the habit of procrastination at this level, it is no joke.

Procrastination And Finances

A person who procrastinates paying their bills will often wind up paying reconnection and overdue fees on service utilities. Many times these services get disconnected and because of the cost of upfront payments and other fees, they may or may not get turned back on again.

In addition, once a person gets into this habit their credit will suddenly begin to spiral downward causing them difficulty in future and potentially needed purchases. With no credit it’s very difficult to purchase a home, a car or even obtain so much as a cell phone.

Those are just the necessities. Once a person’s finances are curtailed because of procrastination it also has affects on their families. Luxury items and vacations become non-existent, and I’ve even read stories where the habit of procrastination has hit so hard that it becomes difficult to purchase food for the family.

Procrastination And Health

Procrastination can also have serious health implications for those that are in the habit of procrastinating seriously. The largest, and most common, health risk is that of depression. In fact, procrastination and depression are very closely linked.

The second most common health risk that procrastination presents is that of stress. Stress from not achieving, stress from financial burden and stress in relationships are many times a direct result of procrastination.

If procrastination isn’t taken seriously the effects such as stress and depression can reach levels that require immediate and intensive professional care. Without such care the effects of the habit of procrastination can have long term health consequences.

The good news is that with a plan of action, time and persistence anybody can overcome the habit of procrastination. Once a person realizes that the habit of procrastination is having negative effects on their life, all they have to do is commit to change and follow through with their plan of action.

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Source by Matt Ryan

Views: 0

February 3, 2020
MLM – In Unashamed Defense of Multi-Level and Network Marketing

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One of the things that tells you are being successful in your online marketing efforts is an increasing number of emails from nay sayers, spoilers and people who are just down right rude.

I recently received one from an IT expert who was independently well off thanks to stock options and profit sharing. He mocked MLM people as “bottom feeders” and said, “I mock MLM as a business model.” Probably very easy to do when you’re loaded thanks to stock options, etc – just hope his company doesn’t go the way of Enron!

To be honest I mock most other business models as an inefficient and sometimes down right unethical way to do business. Example one:- Small family in china produces components for a larger company for a tiny margin, large company then sells products to a wholesaler, wholesale then sells it to a foreign wholesaler who then sells it to a retailer who sells it to the consumer. Now this is a basic model – sometimes the middle men can be much more numerous. Either way the original producer gets screwed and the consumer gets screwed thanks to the number of middle man. This is even worse in the agricultural industry. Go to a farmer and ask him how much he/she gets for a liter of milk, a ton of potatoes, etc – it will shock you! They get a pittance of the final shelf price. For farmers to continue to rely on the big multinationals to do the right thing by them is the seriously flawed business model as they continue to be driven to the wall. I MOCK TRADITIONAL BUSINESS MODELS.

The worlds biggest MLM is the international illegal drug market – although they trade in evil and death they are a huge network of people from poppy fields in Afghanistan to street sellers in western cities – the high estimate is that the world wide industry is $500 billion. The a lot of money for what is an MLM. Should MLM still be mocked as a business model?!

Multi-level marketing and network marketing is found throughout the business world. Real Estate agents, Dealerships, and many other ‘traditional’ business often have levels of reward depending on number of sales, sales people below you, etc. The internet abound with affiliate programs that are multi-leveled to reward affiliates not only for product sales, but also if they bring in new affiliates.

Why is MLM so hated by the traditionalists? One it represents a threat. It means a load more competitors. It puts products profits into the hands of the consumers. It means less sales bonuses for them and less margins for the middle men. It means the wealthy can lose control of markets that they previously dominated. Who would you be more scared of – another multi-national with a sales team of 100 people, or a MLM with 100,000 non-professional sales people? Genuine people power has always frightened those in control of both the power and the purse strings. Why would you give the profits to the consumer instead of the share holders? Of course it rattles their cage – it threatens their very existence. Instead of a CEO earning millions for doing nothing, he/she would actually have to get out there and prove that they could sell a product to be successful. Hugely frightened for someone relying on their degrees and old tie network to get ahead.

Multi-level marketing and network marketing is also hated by the traditionalist because it frees people from slavery to a forty hour working week. They love people to be in credit card debt. They love people to HAVE to go to work to survive. They love people having big mortgages. They love people being CONSUMERS. They don’t want consumers to turn into producers. It spoils there party. They don’t want people to be free to from the “traditional” working (slavery) model.

At the end of the day it doesn’t matter what the naysayers say about MLM, the only thing that matters is can you succeed at MLM.

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Source by Alastair Harris

Views: 0

February 2, 2020
10 Ways to Make Money With Body Painting

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Are you considering making a living (or at least a little money on the side) doing body painting? Is it even possible to make a living doing body painting? Yes, you can make good money as a ‘pro’ body painter, and even kids as young as twelve have made good money (like $500-$400 in an afternoon) doing simple painting techniques like airbrushed temporary tattoos at fairs and festivals.

It may be difficult to believe that there are so many different ways to make money doing body painting. I know that when I first discovered the art of body painting, I thought maybe you could make some temporary money at a party or fair. But there are many, many more possibilities, as you will see.

Here are just 10 of the ways you could get paid to do body painting:

1. Doing body painting at parties. You could hire yourself for a night or a day and get paid either by the hour or a flat fee for the event.

2. Painting party-goers before they go to a party or event. Themed or holiday parties would be a good opportunity for this. Make sure you mention that you could body paint their friends, too!

3. As a professional body painter for the theatre. You could do one show for a discount to get in the door and get some recognition, if you don’t have a track record yet.

4. Travel with the circus as their ‘in house’ makeup artist.

5. Become the official body painter for a dance company. Again, you could work for a low fee or even free to get in the door.

6. Face painting alone opens up several opportunities: parties, festivals, fairs, and special events all are possible places for you to set up shop. Just make sure (as with all these options) that you are using proper, non-allergenic paints meant for face painting alone.

7. Special events like graduations, celebrations, fundraisers, and reunions.

8. Sports events: painting fans in their team colors and symbols has had a long tradition.

9. Festivals around the world. There are several festivals specifically for body painting around the world, but there are many more that would be a great place for body painting. Look up the festivals in your area and find out how to become a vendor and what their requirements and rules are.

10. Teach others how to do body painting. You could hold a one-time workshop, give ongoing group classes or even do an online body painting course (as I am doing).

I hope this gives you some good ideas about how you could make money as a body painting artist. Maybe you have even thought of some ways that I didn’t include…great! Choose one method, research what you need to do to get started, and go for it!

Bonus Tip:

Here’s a secret hint…as you are considering one of the possibilities above. Don’t choose what you think would make you the most money…choose what you think you would happiest and best at doing. You will always make more doing something you love doing, in the long run!

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Source by Jodina Meehan

Views: 0

February 2, 2020
Can You Treat Trichotillomania With Holistic Medicine?

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Trichotillomania is an impulse control or brain disease similar to OCD or addiction where the person pulls out their own hair. The hair can be located anywhere. Trichotillamania may be caused by trauma, rape, physical violence, torture, child abuse, and very severe emotional abuse. It may be minor and easily managed or severe. This disease can overwhelm the person. It is very important for the person with this disease to eliminate or minimize exposure to any severely negative people in their life that are abusive or exploitative. It is an emotional disorder that usually needs several therapies in order to be managed successfully. There are many alternative therapies which are untried for this illness, but these may successful due to the large emotional component of the illness. Trichotillomania seems similar to addiction, OCD, and a bad habit. Quieting the mind should be one of the goals of any therapy. Alternative therapies that quiet the mind include Yoga, scalp acupuncture, auricular acupuncture, Emotional Freedom Technique(EFT), botanical extracts, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS),and orthomolecular medicine.

This person must be evaluated by a medical professional. A full physical and diagnostic testing of hormones and neurotransmitters must occur. This patient must be evaluated for AIDS and a brain tumor. There are several diseases that are severe enough to result in very irregular symptoms. It is extremely important to be very aggressive in treating this disease. Amino acids therapy for this may be useful and could include 5-HTP, theanine, GABA, and phenylalanine. Chinese herbal patent formulas may be considered along with Chinese liquid herbal extracts. Scalp acupuncture may be very successful in treating this type of illness. It should be done with larger needles for this type of disease. Scalp acupuncture treatments last about thirty minutes to one hour. It may take nine treatments in order to see results. Laser therapy using a cold medical grade laser may work well on this patient. You may need several sessions of cold medical grade laser therapy before you see a significant change.

It is important for this person to sleep well and eat a well balanced diet without nitrates, amines, and food dyes. This person should avoid genetically modified foods, food additives, MSG, tumeric, and drink plenty of pure water to stay fully hydrated. The diet should allow Swiss method decaffeinated coffee or organic coffee and tea. This person should consider trying the Rotation Diet where each food may be eaten once during a four-day period. It is also a good idea to identify and reduce exposure to all allergens. You may want to consider some form of allergy treatment. Convention allergy treatments with shots is one alternative. NAET is a non-painful alternative that incorporates chiropractic and acupuncture with a special diet to treat allergens. This person needs consider a form of regular exercise like the walking, gym, biking, Bikram yoga, hiking, and dancing.

©Dr R Stone, MD-India

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Source by R Stone

Views: 0

February 2, 2020
Charity Auctions – Using a Cash Call

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Auctions are an excellent way to raise needed funds for worthy causes. They are also a valued social event for the people who enjoy attending them, whether they are directly involved with the cause or charity, or simply people from the community who like going to and participating in these events. Whatever the reason, you can bring a much more successful outcome to your live or silent auction through the use of a Cash Call, also called the Special Appeal, Fund-A-Need, Emotional Appeal, Bid for a Cause, or Bid for a Cure.

The Cash Call is part of the evening’s agenda, which is separate from the live or silent auction, but which is aiming to raise money for the same cause. It is a very common event that attendees will often expect. The way it works is that someone from the organization that is doing the fund raising will make an impassioned appeal to the audience members for direct donations. When done correctly, a Cash Call can in fact, bring in as much or more money than your live or silent auction.

Most professional auctioneers will be very familiar with the Cash Call, so they are an excellent resource to use to keep the energy levels up, and to keep referring back to this special appeal. While doing this, they can solicit further engagement from the audience members who may be actively bidding on items. Should an audience member not win an item, they may choose to donate the money they would’ve spent on it directly instead. Professional auctioneers are extremely adept at engaging the audience and keeping events moving along smoothly, and injecting fun, humor, and structure into your auction.

So the next time you’re raising money for a worthy cause, be sure to include a Cash Call in addition to your live and silent auction events, and watch the tally grow.

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Source by Kevin Rutter

Views: 0

February 2, 2020