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Tag: Process

  • I’m Angry That He Won’t Marry Me And This Is Hurting Our Relationship: Tips That Might Help

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    I sometimes hear from women who, after a set amount of time, begin to feel a little annoyance, frustration, anger, or resentment that they are not getting engaged or married. And, as time goes by these negative feelings build so that it begins to hurt the relationship. The great irony of all of this is that this whole process can actually make a marriage or engagement less likely so that it is a vicious cycle.

    I heard from a woman who said: “I’ve been with my boyfriend for five years. I hate calling him that, my boyfriend. We’re in our late twenties and that’s too old to be calling someone your boyfriend. At this point, we have lived together for two and a half years. He knows that I want to get married, but he’s dragging his feet. We own our apartment together, but other than this, there’s nothing legally binding us together. I worry that if something happened to either of us, the other wouldn’t have any legal standing to make decisions. I’m angry that he has put me in this position. I feel like he thinks that I’m good enough to live with but not good enough to marry. And I find myself short tempered and sarcastic with him because of my anger. At this rate, I feel like this whole process is going to hurt our relationship. I can’t seem to control my feelings. And I feel that I have a right to be angry. What can I do?” I will try to address these concerns in the following article.

    Understand That If Left Unchecked, This Cycle Really Can Harm Or Even Destroy Your Relationship: Many couples get caught in this cycle and they just sort of become so used to it that they start to envision that it is always going to be this way. They figure that no one is going to blink first so that they will sort of always be at a stand still, waiting to see who is going to make the first move. That’s why they often don’t even see the end of their relationship coming. This cycle has ended many relationships precisely because people begin to believe that nothing is ever going to change. And eventually, one or both of the parties decides that they just don’t want to live this way anymore.

    Consider Agreeing To Shelf The Issue And Then To Come Back To It At An Agreed Upon Time: Here’s what you have to understand. It’s possible that eventually, this issue will become a central problem in your relationship. And, when this happens, the whole dynamics of your relationship changes and this change is not for the better. It seems as if everything always come back to this one thing and you can’t seem to regain your footing or to move forward.

    It’s my experience and observation that it is better for you to put this issue on the shelf, for just a little while, if you find that it is deteriorating your relationship. Sometimes, when I explain this to folks, they think that I am telling them to give up or to just accept that he doesn’t want to marry you. This isn’t what I am implying at all. I am only saying that if you agree to shelf it and then to reevaluate, you gain a couple of things. First, you limit the damage to your relationship. In order for him to commit to you, he needs to have the peace of mind that the relationship is worthy of that commitment. The chances of this happening are less if you just can’t move past your differences of opinion on this topic.

    Second, if you can get him to agree to revisit this topic later, then he’s committed to thinking very seriously about committing at a later point in time. As far as I’m concerned, that is a huge gain and big bonus. Because as of right now, you don’t have that. And when you shelf the issue, you place your focus back on your relationship. The tension wanes and things can be good between you again. This way, when you two do discuss this again at that set time, your relationship will hopefully have recovered to the point where he is comfortable committing. If he is not, then it may be time to dig a little deeper to determine why he isn’t comfortable committing.

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    Source by Mari Deene

    Views: 0

  • Follow the Yellow Brick Road to More Sales

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    When Dorothy landed in Oz, she wanted to go home and was told by the Munchkins to see the great and powerful Wizard of Oz. “But how do I find the Wizard”, she asked. “Follow the Yellow Brick Road”. “And the best way to start, is at the beginning”. And that holds true for the Sandler System as well. Start at the beginning.

    The beginning step in the Sandler Sales Process is to establish bonding and rapport with your prospect. Once you’ve created a good relationship with this person, you can then set an up-front contract on what you will discuss, typically their agenda and yours, with a specific outcome in mind. This up-front contract should lead them down the path towards revealing some pain. If there’s no pain to reveal, then you can shake hands and part as friends, and move on to the next prospect. However, if you do reveal some pain, then you schedule a next meeting where you can delve deeper into the prospects issues and pain.

    THE PAIN FUNNEL IN ACTION

    Let’s look at a sample story showing the pain funnel in action. In this story, our sales person works for a contractor who builds navigation systems for fighter jets, and has an appointment to see Henry Jones. Henry has an engineering background and is very technical in nature. Watch how the sales person starts out using the questions from the Sandler Pain Funnel to better understand his prospect, and then slowly moves Henry through the funnel towards a sale. The questions are broad at first, but then become more specific and designed to make the prospect more emotional. The idea is to grasp Henry’s problems and lead him to reveal how the problems affect Henry personally.

    Henry starts by asking the salesperson, “Can you design a system that will easily retro- fit our F-16s so that rewiring will not be problematic?” As you can see, this is a very technical question for a very technical problem. The salesperson can try one of one two things: answer the question directly and speak about the product’s features and benefits, or try to uncover the real intent of the question and ultimately, if there’s any pain. In this example, the salesperson employs the Pain Funnel to dig for the pain behind the prospect’s question. The salesperson responds, “You know, that’s a great question. Can you tell me more about that?” Henry answers back, “Yes. We’ve had some experiences retrofitting F-16s with different types of equipment and ran into some challenges. It takes a very long time to rewire the system, and that becomes problematic when you have to disconnect wiring harnesses and lots of other systems that are related to whatever it is we are installing.” The salesperson probes, “Can you be a bit more specific? Give me an example.”

    Keep in mind, each and every question the salesperson asks comes from the Pain Funnel. Even though the questions are in order, you can tell it offers a very smooth arc to the overall conversation. If you have internalized the questions and the process, it won’t feel awkward guiding a prospect through the Pain Funnel in exactly the order prescribed.

    Henry continues, “Well, recently we had to retrofit replacements into the planes. We had to take out the ejection seats and remove some of the navigational systems. We even had to get into the hydraulics. So, what we originally anticipated would be a 25-hour job turned into a job that lasted close to 200 hours. It’s not so much the hours that really bothers us as the amount of time the fighters have to be out of service in order to get it done.” The salesperson continues down the Pain Funnel, “How long has that been a problem?” “It’s been two years that we’ve been dealing with this,” Henry replies. “OK. What have you tried to do about that?” the salesperson asks, following the Pain Funnel method exactly.

    Henry answers, “We talked to a contractor to see if there was a possible fix, and they came up with some recommendations.” The salesperson goes to the next Pain Funnel question: “And did that work?” Henry responds, “The only potentially viable solution they came up with was to redesign the entire system. That would actually take the planes out of commission for even longer.” The salesperson asks, “Do you have any idea how much that would cost you?” “A lot. But it’s not just dollars. It also puts peoples’ lives at risk. Every day that one of those planes is out of service, we risk not having a jet ready to protect people”, Henry says more emotionally now. “How do you feel about that?” the salesperson asks sincerely. (Or alternatively, the salesperson could ask, “What’s your level of commitment to seeing if there is a way to make sure this problem doesn’t happen again?”) “Honestly? We’re very upset this is happening, and we have to get it fixed. We need solutions that minimize the amount of time these planes are out of service. Do you think you can help us?”, Henry pleads.

    THAT’S HOW IT WORKS

    In our prior scenario, the salesperson effectively uncovered Henry’s pain. So what’s next? Uncover even more pain. An effective Pain Step means uncovering 3 to 5 elements of pain the prospect is dealing with. However, don’t use the same approach each time, vary it a bit to keep the prospect unaware of what you are doing. A classic bit of sales wisdom is, “The best presentation you will ever give is the one the prospect doesn’t see.” Since the prospect has revealed to you what to present in order to win the sale, you will want to move forward in the sales process by offering direct solutions that relieve his pain. However, don’t do it right away. First, be sure you really have uncovered three to five pains, and done a good job on the Budget and Decision Steps. In other words, stay within the Sandler Seven Step process. At this point, you will be ready to present the appropriate solutions in the Fulfillment Step. Moreover, if you’ve done your job correctly, like Dorothy did, and followed the Yellow Brick Road to Oz, all you need to do is click the Ruby Slippers together and the deal will close itself, and may even take you some where over the rainbow!

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    Source by Greg Nanigian

    Views: 0

  • Healing At Home

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    Healing at home is something everyone can do and is really easy once you understand and know what you are doing. There are many different methods you can use, as it is not all one set in stone process that works for everyone. I am going to give you some areas to start with today to get you on your own healing pathway in life. These are easy things to do that almost anyone can do right after they finish reading the article!

    Affirmation Healing: This is one that is very simple and extremely easy to do. You simply work with positive affirmations to shift your subconscious programming to a positive mind-set. This takes about 21 days for one to shift here, however in the grand scheme of things 21 days is a drop in the bucket. You want to work with positive wording as well for your affirmations and in the present tense. For example, you can say “I am worthy of love” if you are working on a self-love issue or receive loving from others. It is about forming it in a positive mind-set and present tense. Repeat daily (3 times a day) for 21 days.

    Prayer Healing: Prayer healing is simply working with prayers to boost the energy flow for your healing work. Simple enough right? It is a combination of prayer work and asking for healing help for a particular issue in your life. Prayer healing work can be done twice a day (morning and evening) and best in a quiet room. Prayer healing work can take longer to manifest, however it is very easy to use. Here is an example of a Financial Prayer to get you started so you can see how you can formulate a healing prayer:

    Financial Healing Prayer: I ask for guidance and healing during my prayer/meditation session. I call upon the Universe/Divine Spirit/God/Ascended Masters/Angel Realm to help me heal all financial issues I have in my life and allow for positive healing energy to come forth for this healing process. I am open to removing any blockages and issues that are holding me back and to heal all areas in this process. I acknowledge these issues and allow and stay open to receiving positive financial and money energy flowing into my life in a positive way.

    Crystal Healing: Crystal healing is all about working with the vibrational levels of crystals and their healing properties. For example, if you want to boost the abundance energy flow for your home or office you can create an Emerald gem elixir with charged healing water and mist the surrounding areas once a day to shift the vibrational level of the energy flow. Crystal healing can help in all emotional, mental, physical, spiritual and energetic issues. When working with crystals for healing energy it is about finding the one’s that resonate for your energy, as many crystals can help with crystal healing for abundance issues, however certain one’s help more than other’s for their vibrational levels. Then you have to work with these to find the one’s that resonate best for your own energy fields. Emerald’s are good one’s to start with for abundance energy flow for a home, office or other area you want to boost the energy flow.

    Energy Healing: Energy healing is all about working with balancing the energy flow, removing problems, creating positive healing energy and allowing the vibrational level for the person and their energetic make-up to increase. This is something you can even learn to do on your own by working with different energy formats. A very basic one to start with is Usui Reiki, as this is a very general healing Reiki format that many people start with for their own healing energy. You can also work with very specific energy modalities that are more customized for their healing vibrational levels, such as protection energy formats for protection healing and so on. Energy healing is about finding the root cause of the issue, not just treating the symptoms of the issue, and then working on removing this, balancing the energy flow and healing the area completely.

    There are many other healing methods you can work with, as these are just some of the ones I have listed here for you today. Other one’s you can check into are angelic healing, color therapy, divine source healing, herbal healing, nature healing, sound healing and many more! It is about finding what resonates for your own energy and what you want to work with to heal issues on a physical, emotional, mental and spiritual level. This is how things will all balance out on an energetic level for your energy fields!

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    Source by Nicole Lanning

    Views: 0

  • The Best eCommerce Practices for a Seamless Customer Experience

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    In this generation of online shopping, none of the businesses can thrive without an outright eCommerce site. Further, websites became an integral part of digital marketing strategy and hence improving a dynamic, appealing and user-friendly website is essential. From visual elements to UI / UX elements, everything matters! They should be able to lure customers and offer them a top-notch experience of shopping.

    So, here's a quick guide for the budding eCommerce entrepreneurs to start off their stores like a pro and let every single visitor has an exceptional experience. The points discussed below also explain how every minute element of an eCommerce site has a direct impact on the perceptions and interests of the visitors.

    Homepage must be engaging enough for the customers

    You hardly have 4-5 seconds to capture the attention of the visitors and the first thing they see is the home page. Within those fraction of the time, you need to show them what you have and how amazing your brand is. Make it approachable with a clean layout, uncluttered elements, and bold colors. Put all the promo offers, deals and discounts on the homepage only with tempting banners / sliders to captivate the attention visitors.

    Smooth navigation to persuade customers to explore

    The navigation and its related elements have to be pretty intuitive and easy to use because that enable the customers to explore more of the other pages on the site. The basic behind such effortless navigation is clarity of elements. That means menu, search box, categories, sub-categories, call-to-action, all should be organized well and redirect customers to the page they were seeking for.

    Businesslike content presentation is essential

    Users don't just view your website for the products but also read what's written to know the brand and for other snippets of information on products you offer. However, flowery language, long sentences and tough words are never that catchy to visitors! So, put all your information, headlines, offers and sales announcements in simplest words and in separate blocks to avoid cluttering.

    Responsive search tools are a must

    Make your search effective and responsive with filters, keywords corrections and suggestions. Customers are impatient beings! If they do not get the exact things they were looking for, they will just leave. These options will help them find the exact items they have in their mind by typing the keywords. Filters enable them to search for products according to features, colors, size and other specialties.

    Clear Call-to-Action and simplified checkout

    To redirect customers to the checkout page without any hassles you need to place clear call-to-action on the product pages. Further, to assure that none of your customers leaves because you have a lengthier checkout process, then make it short with fewer fields.

    At the end of the day, your website is for selling not just for capturing the attention of visitors. So, if there's enough traffic driving from the search engines to your website, leaves no chance to turn to their paying customers with these proven practices.

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    Source by Rob Stephen

    Views: 0

  • Alternative Medicine Has a Technical Value

    Alternative Medicine Has a Technical Value

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    Medicine was always located in drugs or in surgery. It was supported by a parallel system that was independent and complementary known as Alternative Medicine. However the two, till recently, were not destined to meet.

    Medicine emerged from a system of clinical testing, of surveys, scans, medical records, experiments and data. These passed through rigorous tests of approval before licensed boards. The system bragged rights of methodology, license, discipline and efficacy. Alternative medicine, was located in systems of natural wellness, based on drug less, non-invasive technique. The mastery and skill of practice emerged from classical ancient texts, or new scientific discoveries with manual handling. Popular traditions of Acupuncture, Shiatsu, Ayurveda, Yoga, and Aromatherapy, homeopathy fell under this broad umbrella category of ancient practice and tradition.

    Alternative medicine came under technical license and statute with World Health Organization that demystified the ancient systems and folklore. The standardization of acupuncture points in acupuncture practice amongst all countries, boards, colleges and practitioners became clear and uniform in technical description. There were energetic secret practicesises involved supplemented by martial healing arts as chi gong, tai-chi, ki aikido and others, which were not listed. The fact that the healing arts was essentially energetic, meant that acquired practitioner skills was relative to the development and cultivation of an energetic internal space.

    World Health Organization addressed issues of nomenclature and technical description in some preferred ancient therapies based on scriptures. Indian Head Massage is an example of a popular science based on classification of marma points and ayurvedic massage techniques, arranged to an international qualification for practice. This science is well described by National Occupational Standards competency technical listings for applied use. Some other new systems have emerged based on public demand that are complementary practicesises to medicine. These include popular manual therapies as sports massage, lymphatic drainage massage, myofascial release, trigger point therapy, neuromuscular therapy, proprioceptive neuromuscular facilitation, structural integration, amongst many more. Formalization of these sciences have taken place in clinical, and scientific practice. Competent Assessor and Regulatory boards across nations have sanctioned some of these disciplines as pure or integrated alternative medicine, and managed the industry to manifest in a parallel yet complementary field.

    The formalization of Alternative medicine grew in significance as modern modalities and technologies were rooted in ancient systems. Light therapies and low level laser became an option for acupuncture where needles were not suitable. Full body bio-feedback machines as Medilab's Beautytech, have been based on galvanic induction and acupoint bio modulation through acupuncture meridians and lymphatic pathways.
    Innovation in alternative medicine, is based on the formal understanding of natural process that has benefited humans greatly for many centuries.

    Low level laser was able to shift the acupuncture phenomenon to the next level with the discovery of the genetic potential of blood acupuncture with blood laser irradiation through the vein. Adjunct treatments with chlorophyll and light sensitizers supports the reversal of tissue death as in the case of malignancy. The advantage of modern scientific discovery in alternative medicine is that treatment protocols have complete controls and outcomes, and the mystical human energetic practice is apart from the therapy.

    The UK Crown encouraged medical practitioners, to embrace the alternative medicine industry and to approve its practicesises for better wellness support. This was resisted at first, and suspicion continued between the two streams. However, medical practitioners have themselves absorbed medical acupuncture in their practice through sanctioned seminars of late, and grown in awareness of the therapeutic value of standardized systems.

    As the Industry vectors grow in the ecosystems, sciences and preferences seem to merge. The disparities are less and disciplines meet with consensus. Prospects ahead seem promising and recovery is well in hand.

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    Source by Malini Chaudhri

    Views: 0

  • Being Successful In Life Today With A Millionaire's Mindset Means Reprogramming The Subconscious

    Being Successful In Life Today With A Millionaire's Mindset Means Reprogramming The Subconscious

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    Are you on the right track to achieve success? Stop for a while, take a look at the map, see the directions, consult somebody or look for assistance.

    After that start your journey towards the ways to be successful with full self-confidence.

    I mean do so without the tiniest doubt of being derailed.

    Their tracks are entirely different from each other leading to various destinations; the location of success and the location of failure.

    Either one can learn the best ways to be successful or take an incorrect track doom and gloom, but the best secret to achieve success is to keep oneself on the ideal path.

    A very sharp, clear and bright picture of where you are heading is great motivation for an enthusiastic individual to remain vigilant and keep himself focused on the right path versus all odds and obstacles.

    It's true that absolutely nothing can be achieved without effort, however, effort alone can not guarantee you to achieve success.

    The world is full of poorly paid unskilled workers who are working hard, but not getting enough benefit.

    Striving without planning is similar to taking an elevator from the middle of a multi-story structure without knowing which floor you really need to get off at.

    It can take you to the leading floor or ground you in the basement.

    The majority of people are not able to set goals and goals simply due to the fact that they have no future vision, no huge dreams and no specific success strategies.

    These poor, miserable people have no choice, but to follow the crowd aimlessly.

    The unfortunate part of the story is that the crowd is growing larger day-by-hopeless-day without having anyone to lead them to the ideal path to achieve success.

    Enjoying the Success Process

    Previously I discussed how many were having fun, for example, trading penny stocks and that as a hobby were finding success.

    When we can put some enjoyment into what we're chasing after being successful seems to be a result.

    Due to the fact that many can not commit themselves fully to the job they are appointed to, these directionless people are lost and don't know for sure what they want.

    No surprise, these people are frequently fired by their companies, remain mostly unemployed, survive on social welfare and other public assistance and charities, broke in the end and ultimately buried under heavy debt.

    One must distinguish between right-minded and wrong-minded ; either achieve success or settle for failure.

    The Course in Miracles states, "You are the mirror of truth, in which God Himself shines in perfect light. To the ego's dark glass you say but need, 'I will not look there because I know these images are not true'."

    Bringing Passion and Purpose to the Scene

    Because we are not allowing the light of our passion and purpose to be in charge, far too often we as humans are filled with uncertainty of the dark.

    You just need to keep inspired and keep on moving to the destination you set for yourself when you are on the path of certainty.

    The desperate and dark travels through life many take are entirely different from each other leading to different destinations; to achieve success or the destination of mediocrity.

    Either one can be on the ideal track to achieve success, or on the path where wealth creation is never accepted into the mind.

    The millionaire secrets will help to keep you OFF the wrong-minded track, where you can never find ways to be successful in life, no matter how much effort one puts in.

    Effort needs to be invested in keeping yourself inspired and continually reprogramming the subconscious when you are on the right-minded track with a millionaire mindset.

    (I like to suggest searching the net for more helpful material on, answering what makes someone successful, wealth creation, and uncovering the secret for financial freedom now.)

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    Source by James Nussbaumer

    Views: 0

  • How to Handle PPC Problems in MLM

    How to Handle PPC Problems in MLM

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    Paid Advertising in MLM

    You work hard in your MLM business and saved money for paid advertising. It’s been a dream to use some sort of automation for your marketing and the road to success has been a climb. Finally, the day has come for you to launch your PPC campaign and you feel a bit unsure about the whole process. Yet, you feel ready to conquer the world, because you believe in yourself and your dream. So, you take the plunge and invest your nest egg into a campaign. A month passes and your campaign was a disaster. You check the data and find out that you had little traffic from the keywords and the script you used was generic. The frustration sets in and now you’re worried about the future.

    Ever been like this in a new venture, especially with PPC or other paid advertising and suffered horrible results for your MLM? If you haven’t, but are looking into paid solutions to help your business, you should reconsider your options heavily, first. Organic traffic brings in higher numbers than paid solutions, no one likes ads. If you are bent on using PPC, then you want to read further and deal with the issues involved. A fair warning, other businesses are using the system to further their objectives and most are not successful. If you wish to proceed then please read on.

    Common PPC MLM Problems

    Now if you’re looking to improve your MLM PPC campaign, one of the biggest issues you have to look at is your quality score. The quality score determines the quality of ads and landing pages used by the keyword. A higher score means the system believes your ads are relevant and useful. The ads are rated on 1-10 and a larger score keeps the competition down, the cost down and you may receive your lion’s share of clicks. It’s not guaranteed to work, most people scroll past the paid stuff and click on the organic elements first. One other problem is that your impressions and clicks may drop off due to either a budget, quality score or competition.

    Dealing with the PPC Issues

    Now let’s wrap this up really quick on how to deal with your PPC problems and get your MLM business on track. Make sure your landing pages, keywords and ads are relevant. Throw in a negative keyword to reduce irreverent searches. You may want to split test ads to see what works better and it can improve your quality score. If your ads been dropping, you may need to improve your quality score or increase your bid amount. Your daily budget should never be reached, you may need to lower or rise it, depending on the data that your campaign suggests.

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    Source by David L. Feinstein

    Views: 0

  • My Husband Keeps Saying That He’s Going to Leave Me – Tips and Advice That May Help

    My Husband Keeps Saying That He’s Going to Leave Me – Tips and Advice That May Help

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    I recently heard from a wife who confided that every time that she and her husband disagreed or hit a rough patch in their marriage, the husband pulled out what the wife called the “leave card.” She told me: “every time things get rough, my husband says he’s going to leave. He’s packed his bags before, but he’s never actually left. Still, this hurts me and I’m getting tired of it. How can I make him see how old these threats are getting? At the same time, I’m afraid that someday soon, he’s actually going to follow through and walk out the door. I’m not sure what to do or how to handle this.”

    This type of correspondence is not all that uncommon. I hear many comments like this. And I can absolutely identify with these wives. This is a very difficult position to be in. It’s hard to move forward and to improve matters with the constant threat of him leaving hanging over your head. You can start to feel like you’re walking on eggshells or have to edit yourself or hold back in some way. So it’s very advisable to consider being proactive and addressing this before things deteriorate any more. I will discuss this more in the following article.

    Asking Him To Stop Constantly Making The Threats To Leave You And The Marriage: Admittedly, I don’t personally know this couple. But, from the little bit that the wife told me, two immediate facts jumped out and seemed most important. First, despite the husband’s repeated threats, he had not left. He was still there, repeating the same old things. This tells us that he’s either not 100% committed to leaving or he’s not yet reached the breaking point or place where it’s feasible or comfortable to move on.

    The second thing that was important was that the husband kept repeating the threats. Now, the wife was very frustrated with this, but one possibility was that the husband was repeating or accelerating his words because nothing was changing or improving and this was the only way that he knew to attempt to get the response that he wanted. Sometimes, people keep repeating the same patterns out of frustration. And, sometimes, they do this because they know no other way.

    But whatever the reason for this negative cycle, I felt that the wife might gain some ground if she approached this subject with both directness and empathy. It was going to be very hard for the two of them to get on the same page when he kept on retreating. So, the next time that he started with the “I’m just going to leave you,” talk, I felt that the wife should have asked him to sit down and talk about this for a minute.

    With a break in the action, the wife might consider telling the husband that they both knew that this was a path that they had been down many times before. And yet, nothing was really changing except that they were both getting frustrated with the same old course of events that never yielded the outcome that either of them really wanted. I suggested that the wife offer to make the husband a deal. She would genuinely listen to why he felt the way that he did and make a very honest effort to address and improve things if he would stop with threats to leave her every time things got tough.

    Understanding The Opportunity That Has Presented Itself And Taking Positive Action To Stop This Cycle: I understood why the wife doubted that she was in so great of a position, but I had to admit to her that there were some advantages that she did have. On an almost daily basis, I hear from wives who were either served divorce papers or who came home to an empty house missing a husband (because he left) with seemingly no warning whatsoever. These women would’ve loved to have had a warning period and a chance to fix things before this action was taken.

    So, while the wife was tired of all this, she had to admit that she still had a chance to make things better and to save the marriage. This was an advantage as was the fact that, despite all of his empty words and posturing, the husband was still there. Clearly, he wasn’t sure that he really wanted to leave, but he was sure that he wanted change that he wasn’t getting, which is why this cycle kept repeating itself.

    Once the wife was able to see this, she was willing to approach things differently. But, before she charged forward wanting to make drastic changes, I told her that it might be a good idea to focus on reconnecting. There was a lot of underlying resentment and anger and I felt that the changes and efforts might not last if they attempted to work things out while both people were still a little lukewarm to one another.

    Do you remember when you were first together and your issues were always little spats that passed over quickly? This is because you were deeply connected and didn’t want to allow for anything to derail that process. Sure, things change and people mature. But often, you’ll find that if you can get to a place where you feel genuine affection and empathy for your spouse, working out the remaining issues becomes so much easier and you’re much less likely to continue to hear the threats that neither one of you are listening to anymore anyway.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

    Views: 0

  • Transforming Negative Emotions Into Positive Feelings and Actions Part 2

    Transforming Negative Emotions Into Positive Feelings and Actions Part 2

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    Techniques to Release, Overcome and Transform

    1.) Observe yourself having the emotion. Just become aware and watch yourself in the process. This de-fuses it and frees you from an emotional strangle-hold and escalation. It takes will and strong desire to do this and becomes easier with practice.

    2.) Choose an image, a personal symbol, to place in your mind to stop self as soon as you recognize a negative emotion happening. For example, a stop sign, 10 deep breaths, a Danger sign or whatever means ‘stop” to you.

    3.) Consciously lift and move your energy from your solar plexus (stomach) area to your heart. The emotional charge is in the stomach and when you relocate your focus to the heart, you calm down and can see what is best. You’ll become harmless to yourself and others as your center of love is activated and replaces the negative feeling. A better decision can then be made.

    Release the Emotion (A present Feeling or one from the past):

    1.) Stomp, pound a pillow, yell, run, cry; release the emotion from the body.

    2.) Image a shower of light pouring down on you and washing the painful emotion away.

    3.) Pull the plug on the emotion. Image it as a color going down a drain.

    4.) Journal, write your feelings down.

    5.) Art Therapy. Do a simple technique that releases the emotion by taking a sheet of paper and using crayons, markers or pastels to draw/scribble your feelings on the paper. Get them out on the paper; release them. Turn the paper and see this situation differently. Now, draw. A new perspective can harmonize the emotion you’re releasing.

    6.) We release emotions with intention to be rid of them, not to fuel the fire for more. Be sure to release with the desire to be free of them.

    Transforming Negative Emotions:

    1.) Change your energy field. Close your eyes and imagine the emotion as energy around you. What does it look like, what color, shape, form etc. does it take? Now allow it to change and smooth out, becoming transformed, harmonized, peaceful. What does it look and feel like now?

    2.) Change your perspective on the situation. Re-frame it in a way that’s positive/productive for you. Ask yourself, how this situation can help you. What is good about it? How are you growing from it? A positive attitude about something can help resolve it for you, even if it’s a difficult situation. A new mindset can change everything.

    3.) Ask self what the lesson you are learning from this situation is. Knowing the lesson helps transform the negative feeling and take on the mastery of the lesson you are in the process of learning.

    4.) Put a new and positive picture in your mind about the situation that is causing the hurtful emotion. Instead of dwelling on the painful scenario or the trauma incident or being yelled at or treated disrespectfully, replace it with one of yourself healed, happy, successful, determined to move on etc. Whatever feels great and counters the old feeling. Keep the new picture in place whenever the old feeling comes up. The mind and body respond quickly to pictures, so this will shift you fast.

    5.) Inner Listening. Get very quiet and go into the silence within. Allow your inner guide to bring you new insights, wisdom and solutions for healing and transformation.

    6.) Forgiveness means letting go. It doesn’t condone bad behavior, but lets the pain go. You and others have the right to make mistakes and grow. Forgive self if needed and forgive others. This doesn’t mean that you will choose to stay connected with anyone who harms you. It means you let go of the painful movie, get the lesson and move forward. You stop the images and negative emotions from their endless control over you. Restore your self- esteem if you’ve acted poorly and wish the other person well if they have. To clean yourself completely, do a systematic of forgiveness for everyone in your life. You will be rejuvenated. Forgive; let go and say goodbye to these emotions.

    7.) Change a gripe to a goal. If you regularly complain and feel negatively about something or someone, set a goal for yourself and be determined to accomplish it. For example, if you are jealous of someone who has a degree in art; stop it and find a way to get one for yourself. If you are short of money and angry at others who have it, stop it and chart your path, make a plan to increase your income. Things happen first in the mind, so begin to visualize yourself having what you want already now. Feel the joy of it and for 5 minutes several times a day, sit quietly and feel the emotions you would have if it were yours now. Soon you begin to believe you have it. In the Biology of belief, Bruce Lipton offers scientific proof that we get what we believe.

    8.) Thoughts and emotions are intimately connected in fact, inseparable. One leads to the other. What repetitive thoughts do you have that are hurting you? Are you taking charge of your negative thoughts and transforming them? Think the opposite of your negative thought as soon as you catch yourself having it. Correct yourself on a daily basis; over and over. Repetition of the new corrected thought forges a new brain pathway and pattern. Strong intention and follow through is necessary.

    Don’t let your mind wander all day without direction or self-monitoring. You can change your mind at any moment into a more positive state. Letting your thoughts run wild will take away your peace. Take charge of yourself and choose thoughts that will help you.

    9.) What belief about yourself do you want to change? Finances, relationships, self-concept, accomplishment of a specific goal; health, personal qualities etc. Beliefs that limit and cause pain keep your emotions at a painful level, and only you can change that.

    Taking Positive New Action

    1) Set clear boundaries. You decide what you will and won’t accept from people and act on it.

    2) Practice assertive communication with others. Tell them how you feel without blame or judgment; just how you feel. Stand up for self if needed.

    3) Be creative. Create something positive from your experience.

    For example, women who have been abused have set up women’s shelters around the country. People who grew up hungry have started programs to feed poor children.

    All of these techniques work. Practice and practice and you will see yourself and your life become fulfilled and beautiful. Be very patient with yourself, as this is hard work and takes a lot of self- control, intention and discipline. It’s a progressive unfolding of the highest part of self. Over time we blossom!

    Steps in Review:

    1.) Stop and control self.

    2.) Release the emotion

    3.) Transform the emotion

    4.) Take positive new action

    5.) Replace negative emotional reactions with spiritual actions and personal spiritual qualities.

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    Source by Carole Cravath

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