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Created To Bond – Changes That Heal Part II
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Failure To Develop Relationships

Emotional ties have a dramatic effect on our well-being. When one fails to develop relationships or bond with others, it can and often does affect their ability to stave off or recover from a variety of not only physical but also emotional ills. When they learn to attach to and trust others, they begin to develop not only emotionally, but also psychologically. Thus, their ability to bond with others… to become closely knit, often carryover into their home life.

When a child is distressed, he/she may show unusual signs such as increased pulse, increased or labored respiration, helplessness, and hopelessness and may easily become enraged. These signs are often seen when the biological parent remarries and the child tends to believe that he/she must compete with the step-parent for the biological parent’s attention.

When the adoptive or step-parent enters the situation with food, physical contact, compassion and other help, the child learns her parents can meet her needs. The child is then more active and able to respond to stimulation such as playing. When the child is content, she is able to sleep and feel comfortable in her surroundings.

According to Deborah Gray, author of Attaching in Adoption, “attachment is a relationship formed primarily with members of the family and requires more time and interaction to be created. Attachment is what most adoptive parents are referring to when they talk about bonding with their child. Adopted children of all ages may have an attachment to their birth family, even if the relationship was neglectful or abusive. Many adoption experts agree that if a child can form an attachment to birth and foster parents, she will have the skills to attach to her adoptive family as well.”

Signs of Secure Attachment

The parental attachment process can often take weeks or years to fully develop, and in some cases there maybe pervasive attachment disorders for which professional therapy will be required. A strong indicator of whether attachment is taking place is the comfort with which the adoptive or step-parent is able to recognize the child’s needs. It is important to remember that the repetition of parents meeting a child’s needs is the foundation of forming a secure attachment with children of all ages, not just infants.

The attachment bond shapes an infant’s brain

The attachment bond is the term for our first interactive love relationship-the one we had with our primary caregivers, that is, our mothers. The mother-child attachment bond is instrumental in shaping infants brains. This important attachment profoundly influences our self-esteem, our expectations of others, and our ability to attract and maintain successful relationships. So, the success, or failure, of our first love-the attachment bond-has a life-long effect.

Our secure attachment bond shapes our abilities to:
- feel safe
- develop meaningful connections with others
- explore our world
- deal with stress
- balance emotions
- experience comfort and security
- make sense of our lives
- create positive memories and expectations of relationships
Attachment bonds are as unique as we are. Primary caretakers do not have to be perfect. They do not have to always be in agreement with their infants’ emotions, but it helps if they are emotionally available a majority of the time.

We were born with an innate or preprogrammed need to bond with one very significant person-our primary caregiver, usually our mother. Like all infants, you were a small bundle of disjointed emotions-intensely experiencing fear, anger, sadness, and joy, often at the same time. The natural emotional attachment that grew between you and your caregiver was the first interactive relationship of your life, and it depended upon nonverbal communication. Therefore, the bonding you experienced in this relationship determined how you would relate to other people throughout your life. This bonding relationship established the foundation for all verbal and nonverbal communication in your future relationships.

For better or worse, the attachment bond profoundly influences the infant brain. It is a baby’s first love relationship. When the primary caretaker can manage personal stress, calm the infant, communicate through emotion, share joy, and forgive easily, the young child’s nervous system becomes “securely attached.” The strong foundation of a secure attachment bond enables the child to be self-confident, trusting, hopeful, and comfortable in the face of conflict. As an adult, he or she will be flexible, creative, hopeful, and optimistic.

People who fail to establish this type of bonding relationship often experience confusing, frightening, or broken emotional communications during their infancy and often grow into adults who have difficulty understanding their own emotions and the feelings of others. This hampers their ability to establish, build and/or maintain attachments leading to successful relationships.

What is Attachment?

Attachment is the relationship between infants and their primary caregivers-is responsible for:
- shaping the success or failure of future intimate relationships
- the ability to maintain a normal emotional balance
- the ability to enjoy being ourselves and to find satisfaction in being with others
- the ability to successfully rebound from various disappointments, discouragement, and misfortune
Many scientific studies of the brain-and the primary role attachment plays in shaping it-has given us a new basis for understanding why vast numbers of people have great difficulty communicating with the most important individuals in their work and love lives. Once, we could only use guesswork to try and determine why important relationships never evolved, or developed chronic problems, or fell apart. Now, thanks to new insights into brain development, we can understand what it takes to help build and nurture productive and meaningful relationships at home and at work.

What is the attachment bond?

The mother-child bond is the primary force in infant development, according to the attachment bond theory pioneered by English psychiatrist John Bowlby and American psychologist Mary Ainsworth. The theory has gained strength through worldwide scientific studies and the use of brain imaging technology.

The attachment bond theory states that the relationship between infants and primary caretakers is responsible for:
- shaping all of our future relationships
- strengthening or damaging our abilities to focus, be conscious of our feelings, and calm ourselves
- the ability to bounce back from misfortune
Scientific research reveals the infant/adult interactions that result in a successful, secure attachment, where both people are aware of the other’s feelings and emotions is the necessary precursor for successful relationships. These studies also reveal troubled, or insecure attachment, in which the communication of feelings fails thus resulting in an inability to form the bind needed to establish a solid relationship. Researchers found that in order to have successful adult relationships there must exist in us and we must depend on the ability to:
- manage stress
- stay “tuned in” with emotions
- use communicative body language
- be playful in a mutually engaging manner
- be readily forgiving, relinquishing grudges
The same research also found that when an insecure attachment exists some type of abuse may have caused it, but it is just as likely to be caused by isolation or loneliness. These recent discoveries offer a new glimpse into successful love relationships. Taking these observations into account often provides the keys to identifying and repairing a love relationship that is strained or falling apart.

Insecure attachment affects adult relationships

Insecurity can be a significant problem in all of our lives, and it usually takes root when an infant’s attachment bond fails to provide the child with sufficient structure, recognition, understanding, safety, and mutual accord. These insecurities may lead us to:
- Tune out and turn off-Most often, if our parent is unavailable and self-absorbed, we may-as children-get lost in our own inner world, we become introverted, avoiding any close, emotional connections. This often causes us as adults to become physically and emotionally distant in relationships.
- Remain insecure-If we have parents who are inconsistent or intrusive, it’s more than likely that we will become unrealistically anxious and fearful, never knowing what to expect. Then as adults, we may become willingly available one moment and totally rejecting the next.
- Become disorganized, aggressive and angry-When our early needs for emotional closeness and comfort is neglected, or when a parent’s erratic behavior is a source of disorienting terror, emotional problems are sure to follow. As we grow into adults, we may lack the ability to love easily and may unknowingly be insensitive to the needs of our partner.
- Develop slowly-Problems often occur when we fail to develop as rapidly as we should, both emotionally and intellectually. Such developmental delays often manifest themselves in the form of deficits and often result in subsequent physical and mental health problems, and generally lead to social and learning disabilities.
Lessons Learned From Our Attachment Bond

There are many powerful, life-altering lessons we learn from our attachment bond-our first love relationship continues to teach us as adults. The gut-level knowledge we gained from this bond then guides us in improving our adult relationships and making them secure.

Lesson No. 1-All adult relationships depend on nonverbal forms of communication for their success. These nonverbal communication skills are learned in infancy. Newborn infants cannot talk, reason or plan; yet they are equipped to make sure their needs are met. Infants don’t know what they need, they feel what they need, and communicate accordingly. When an infant communicates with a caretaker who understands and meets their physical and emotional needs an attachment takes place and the strength of that attachment influences other relationships later in life.

Lesson No. 2-Relationships in which the parties are tuned in to each other’s emotions are called attuned relationships, and attuned relationships teach us that:
- nonverbal cues deeply impact our love relationships
- as we play it helps us smooth over the turbulent times we endure in love relationships
- inevitable conflicts can build trusting relationships if we approach them without fear or a need to punish or retaliate
When we can recognize knee-jerk memories, perceive expectations, inappropriate attitudes, unfounded assumptions and improper behaviors as problems resulting from insecure attachment bonds, we can squelch their influence and their effect on our adult relationships. That recognition allows us to readily reconstruct the healthy nonverbal communication skills that ultimately produce an attuned attachment and successful relationship.

Becoming an Adult and Relationship Orientation

As we grow into adulthood, for the most part we bring with us the ideas and communication lessons we have learned from the time of our infancy. Whether these are good or bad depends on our ability to not only view life from our perspective but also have the ability and the willingness to see things from the other person’s point of view as well. When we are able to do that, then we are in a more astute position to deal with situations and circumstances that are adverse to us.

As we move through the adolescent stage of life we find ourselves at odds not only with others but also with ourselves. We want to be an adult with all of its rights and privileges sooner that we can become one, yet at the same time we want to abdicate the responsibility that goes with that station in life. It is a time of being able to make your own decisions and taking authority over your own life, but you are not there yet. You must learn to maintain control of your impulsiveness and your inhibitions. You must be able to objectionably reevaluate your beliefs, see your parents and authority figures realistically, recognize and pursue your God-given talents and goals, and be willing to take ultimate responsibility for yourself. Finally you must be able to accept and appreciate people who are different.

This ability helps us to be able to accept the good and the bad because we are able to address situations in a mature manner. When we are able to do this, we place ourselves into a position of strength, resulting in a proper evaluation of ourselves. Thus we are able to overcome some of the most persistent problems we face daily because now we are not only able to see things in black and white but also in the various shades of gray. As such, we are able to make allowances for our and other peoples mistakes.

We at that point come to realize that everything in life doesn’t have to go our way in order for us to be happy. We gain a new perspective on ourselves, others and God as a result of our changed thinking. We are then able to deal with each other with mercy, in grace, with the understanding that we too make mistakes. When we move into the realm of tolerance and forgiveness, we are able to love others without them having to be perfect.

Yet, in order to accomplish the task and responsibility of growing up we must also be willing to take responsibility and be accountable for those things of which we have been put in charge. Those things include our attitude, tongue, and actions. As we continue to grow in stature and wisdom the maturity level of our life should also increase proportionately.

Differences Between Men And Women

From my experience in dealing with women, (my mother, aunts, seven sisters and many friends and associates) I find that the majority of women are generally oriented towards their existing friendship networks whereas men were more interested in meeting new people and finding people who had similar interests — in other words, men would rather enjoy the adventure of reaching out to new people rather than cementing their existing relationships.

These results contribute to the growing research on social capital, networking and highlight the importance of examining specific interactive applications. The importance of distinguishing between strong and weak ties plays a major role in establishing new relationships. Also, it is necessary to consider the importance of taking into account gender differences in social interaction patterns. Whereas, women increase their bonding social capital as a result of using these sites but men do not. Women, on the other hand, show a decrease in bonding social capital with those whom they meet outside of their normal sphere of influence.

The fear of incorporating emotional intimacy into these association/relationships is mainly due to a fear of rejection and engulfment – a fear of losing the other and/or losing yourself. To overcome this obstacle you must be able to establish an inner bond with yourself. Inner Bonding is a transformational process for healing the fear of intimacy related ideas that have been carried from past experiences.

The mental visualization of these experiences often cause us to digress into a self-contained state of emotional security that hinders our ability to openly tolerate the inconsistencies we see in others. As a result, we ourselves are moved to a protective state and therefore unable to deal with the negative feelings that we will invariably experience. This barrier can block us from resolving issues that in reality are non-issues.

The Immaturity In Adolescence

Struggles with adolescent identity and depression usually set in when an adolescent experiences a loss. The most important loss in their lives is the changing relationship between the adolescent and their parents. Adolescents may also experience strife in their relationships with friends. This may be due to the activities their friends take part in, such as smoking, which causes adolescents to feel as though participating in such activities themselves is likely essential to maintaining these friendships. Teen depression can be extremely intense at times because of physical and hormonal changes but emotional instability is part of adolescence. Their changing mind, body and relationships often present themselves as stressful and that change, they assume, is something to be feared.

Your experiences in life help you to mature. The maturity is developed when you know you have no one to blame for the past but the circumstances and your immaturity. Oftentimes your immaturity stopped you from having a proper perspective of the facts facts and seeing things as they were. This made you blame others for your sufferings. You may have created and escalated your suffering without realizing the facts and circumstances and taking a easy way out by holding others responsible for it.

You feel you are always on the receiving end of every wrong or perceived wrong due to your immaturity. However, life has a knack of replaying memories and after few years it recreates the same circumstances but this time puts you on the opposite side (giving end), you are left with no choice but to accept the fact that you were so immature then and have grow-up with years. As you mature, life makes you see your ‘old you’ in somebody else now in these replaying of circumstances and you know that the other person still has to wait years ahead to grow and realize these facts.

Maturity slowly leads to wisdom when you know that it is only you who has to stand up and take responsibility for your past – action / inaction, sufferings / failures instead of holding others responsible. It is truly said that you create your own happiness. By blaming others and holding grudges you keep happiness at bay and give way to hatred and self pity. However, with time and wisdom when you accept the responsibility for your sufferings and embrace all your successes without pride -you are truly happy.

Divorce And Its Affects On Maturity

Children of divorced parents often bitterly vow not to repeat the same mistakes. They want to avoid putting themselves and their own children through the pain that comes from the dissolution of a marriage. But, according to University of Utah researcher Nicholas H. Wolfinger, these children’s aspirations face unfavorable odds. “Growing up in a divorced family greatly increases the chances of ending one’s own marriage, a phenomenon called the divorce cycle or the intergenerational transmission of divorce.” Dr. Wolfinger has spent almost a decade studying the marriages of children from divorced homes in America. These children are more likely to marry during their teenage years, cohabitate and marry someone who is also a child of divorced parents. And they are also one-third less likely to marry if they are over age 20.

“Understanding the Divorce Cycle: The Children of Divorce in Their Own Marriages,” by Wolfinger, published by Cambridge University Press, contains important information for those interested in divorce and its repercussions. “Divorce is an important topic because it has so many consequences for well-being,” writes Wolfinger,

“Its transmission between generations adds a whole new dimension by perpetuating the cycle of divorce. The divorce cycle, in short, can be thought of as a cascade. Ending a marriage starts a cycle that threatens to affect increasing numbers of people over time, a sobering thought in an era when half of all new marriages fail.” His research also suggests that if one spouse comes from divorced parents, the couple may be up to twice as likely to divorce. Spouses who are both children of divorced parents are three times more likely to divorce as couples who both hail from intact families.

Besides observing the marital stability of the offspring of divorced couples, Wolfinger’s book provides another perspective on how parental divorce affects offspring marriage timing, mate selection, cohabitating relationships as well as historical trends in the divorce cycle. Wolfinger also explores the divorce reform movement in America and argues in favor of no-fault divorce laws, arguing that a return to an age of tough divorce laws would recreate the social conditions that used to make divorce harder on children.

It is my opinion considering all that has been written on this subject that one reason children from divorced families get divorced more often is because they have a tendency to marry as teenagers. Social history demonstrates that the older you are when you marry, the less likely you are to get divorced. It’s good advice for everyone.”

On the other hand, the more transitions children experience while growing up, the more they will experience as adults. Taking this into consideration, the question that needs to be asked is, “What is the hardest for kids is how many disruptions they experience — the up-and-down cycles.

This is a valid question because many children will have stepparents, and some will see their new families dissolve. This type of disruption occurs any time they lose a parent — except from death. That’s different, and doesn’t have the same negative effects on children… whereas divorce is ambiguous. Children wonder whether the divorce was their fault or who is to blame. And they wonder ‘Is he coming back?’” It is certainly good news that people are less likely to stay in high conflict marriages than they used to. However, “ending a low-conflict marriage may hurt children as much as staying in a high-conflict family,” and the odds of divorce transmission are actually highest if parents dissolve a marriage after little or no conflict. It therefore behooves us to evaluate the effects divorce will have upon our children and their emotional well being should we decide to travel that road.

But before making that decision, we should honestly examine ourselves and the motivating things that are moving us in that direction. This inventory, if prayerfully done will allow us to see the other persons point of view more clearly and thereby make the necessary adjustments, where warranted, to resolve the issues that precipitated situation to begin with. If we are truly willing to continue the relationship, then we must take the necessary steps needed to resolve the issues of what is good or bad by first considering what we could have done to alleviate the problem rather than casting blame. When we allow the power of forgiveness to flow in us we cannot only deal with the past and present, but also the future as bonds are cemented.

Gray, Deborah. Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today’s Parents. Indiana:Perspectives Press Inc., 2002.

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Source by Franklyn T. Johnson, Ph.D

Views: 0
February 3, 2020
Effortless Entrepreneur – Book Review

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By: Nick Friedman & Omar Soliman (2010)

ISBN 978-0-307-58799-2

Book Price: $17.00

Multimillion-dollar franchise

Nick Friedman and Omar Soliman are founders of, “College Hunks Hauling Junk.” This company has become a multimillion-dollar franchise and the nation’s premier junk removal service. Nick and Omar have been named among the Top 30 Under 30 Entrepreneurs in America by Inc., and have been profiled in the New York Times.

Entrepreneurial success

Nick and Omar supply readers with 13 chapters leading to entrepreneurial success. They discuss the following topics; the making of an entrepreneur (Ch. 3); creating your business foundation (Ch. 4); building staff and client loyalty (Ch. 7); optimizing your ability to make the sale (Ch. 10); working smarter and playing harder (Ch. 13), etc.

Passionate pursuit of business dreams

Nick Friedman and Omar Soliman relate their journey with passion and energy. This book conveys more than a love for building a business; it also exhibits practical steps along the journey. Nick and Omar relay, “As we expanded and built systems that allowed our company to function more effectively, we discovered that we could spend less and less time doing the everyday grunt work… and more time doing the things we really enjoyed… “

The crux of this book shows how anyone can convert a common serviced industry into a wealthy enterprise. The authors state, “… now we’re trash men. Of course, by trash men we mean we’re Gen Y entrepreneurs in our mid-twenties who understand that trash is cash and transformed a summer gig into a multimillion dollar business.”

Nick and Omar use challenging words to arrest readers from inactivity saying, “To succeed as an entrepreneur, be prepared to act on your ideas. Otherwise, you’re just another dreamer who wishes and longs and prays to have a business but never gets further than sneezing… people who turn ideas into reality make the difference… “

Vision motivates! Friedman and Soliman express this key to success through practical examples as they share, “… the more passionate you are about achieving goals, the greater your chance for growth. Our vision was clear when we started… we didn’t blink twice at spending $13,000 to buy our 1-800-Junk-USA phone number… “

Shift into entrepreneurial breakthrough

Nick Friedman and Omar Soliman energize readers to shift into Entrepreneurial breakthrough in business.

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Source by Dr. Steven J. Lynne

Views: 1

January 31, 2020
The Renegade Network Marketer is Attraction Marketing

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In case you have not read the eBook by Ann Sieg called The Renegade Network Marketer, be sure to get your copy here. By reading this book you will learn new concepts on how to build your Network Marketing business or any business the smart way in this digital age.

Inside Sieg’s book she targets a distinct group of people that are discouraged that their Network Marketing business is not going as planned. Every single day this group searches the internet for solutions and the Renegade Network Marketer provides the answers. Ann has exposed the upline sponsors for the ever tiring methods and myths that they are teaching to new recruits. If you have grown weary of hitting on or have just plain run out of friends and family this system is perfect.

The Renegade Network Marketing eBook is full of valuable and practical information on how to prospect, market, and sell, specifically in the Network Marketing industry by using the internet. Even if you don’t belong to a Network Marketing Business, you can still purchase The Renegade Marketing System eBook and still make money as an affiliate.

A new doorway has been opened by The Renegade Network Marketer which is leading the way to working smarter in attracting targeted prospects into your network marketing funnel. You will learn how to how to qualify prospects, position yourself as an expert and how to make your internet marketing efforts count. In order to keep you ahead of the trend in professional network marketing, there is ongoing continuous training. Whether you are just starting out or you just want the know how to grow your business this marketing concept is flawless.

Cash flow is vital to any business and Sieg has also incorporated in her system the opportunity to make multiple streams of income. When you purchase the e-book you also gain access to a Back Office with a huge amount of information and tools to market and track your new business. Once you’ve read the book, you’re ready to get started setting up your own attraction based marketing system.

The difference with being directly linked to Ann is that she has an incredible team and system in place. This is backed up with free membership in the Renegade System where you can put what you have read into practice right away. You’ll find many other helpful resources at The Renegade System website such as website development, copy writing and traffic generation.

Ann has taken attraction marketing to a whole other level by teaching the principles of marketing. The ideas I got from the book suddenly opened my eyes to see network marketing business in a totally new light. The path in front of me has never look so bright. In our lifetime as network marketers we have no doubt made several attempts at making money did not go exactly as planned. Would you agree that those attempts in question had to do with the number of people that didn’t find your network marketing business as attractive as you did?

In a nutshell, The Renegade Network Marketer eBook renders a complete Internet attraction marketing system for network marketers at a very low cost. The book comes risk free with a money back guarantee. This kind of training which is always being added could very easily cost thousands and I am sure somewhere it does. If learning the highly coveted secrets on how to attract and qualify prospects instead of chasing them down appeals to you then this eBook is for you.

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Source by John Kellerman

Views: 0

January 27, 2020
Teaching Entrepreneurship To Children: Should We Do It?

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Should we be teaching entrepreneurship to children? When you were a child did you ever have a stand where you sold soft drinks like sodas? Did you ever offer cakes and candy to other students at school in order to make some money?

Not everybody is bitten by the entrepreneurial bug when they are kids however. I truly believe that it’s vital teaching entrepreneurship to children. The harsh realities of entering into the workforce in a difficult economy presents a lot of challenges. The alternative of being an entrepreneur and working for yourself is something that should be explained to children and young people.

Making then Aware of an Alternative

The main thing working against our children having an entrepreneurial mindset is our education system. With only a few exceptions, most of the teaching we get from the time we are in kindergarten to the day we graduate from college is…

* Make sure you get a good education

* Study hard and graduate with your degree

* Get a wonderful job with great additional benefits and you’re set for life!

There are a number of issues with this.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with working and getting a good job with for a terrific company. A lot of people end up doing this and a some enjoy it and make a huge contribution to their company.

The real truth is that there is a HUGE portion of people who are not pleased with their jobs and are in fact totally dissatisfied. This can be due to the fact that they either do not like the work they do, who they actually work with or they may not get paid enough being just one paycheck away from being broke.

The Second problem is that it is very RARE in these modern times to find anybody that works at one specific job for more than 3 to 5 years. Switching between jobs regularly has actually become the “brand-new standard”.

That’s why it’s so essential in teaching entrepreneurship to children and revealing to them that there is an option to having to go out into the workforce to make a living. Would it not make more sense to instruct children about entrepreneurship and show them a that there is a very real alternative to living a life in the corporate world.

Teaching them about things like beginning their own home-business… particularly an online business. We have to remember that the younger generation now invest most of their time online nowadays. So,when they are young, why not instruct them about how to make money with a medium like the internet that they are so comfortable using.

Keeping it Real

Understanding that children these days can truly benefit from finding out how to begin their own business, how do we begin teaching them about it?

I think it’s extremely important to set the right expectations early on. Having your own business can be an amazing experience, however children should be taught that it does also include hard work and dedication. This is something that children (and adults) in some cases choose to skip over.

The reality is beginning an online business has the possibility to make you a lot more money than most everyday jobs.

It’s essential to offer children choices. Make them understand the benefits and challenges of working in the “Rat Race” and the alternative of working for themselves in their own business.

To be really practical we have to remember that children will regularly want to select the most simple and “Safest” method rather than something that might present a greater challenge and require a little additional effort even though in the long-term they could be much better off.

Keep Their Dreams Alive

The last thing to keep in mind is to be supportive of children who wish to start their own company. You see most children still have dreams and goals when they are young.

As time goes and life presents some obstacles to their dreams in various forms, children then start to lower their goals and become more willing to settle for mediocrity. That is unless they have someone to look up to and admire and to learn from. Be the kind of individual who motivates and supports those children to dream big and work hard to realise their ambitions.

With it becoming harder to find a good job nowadays, young children (and lots of grownups) need to be aware of the option of a home based business as a vehicle to achieve their dreams and objectives. Teaching entrepreneurship to children and assisting them in preserving their dreams can help pave a path on their journey to financial freedom and a life filled with passion.

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Source by Merv Stevens

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January 23, 2020
Living Alone with Hemiparesis

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Safety would be the primary concern of course when people with hemiparesis live alone or are alone for extended amounts of time. Of course your first references are your doctor, physical therapist and occupational therapists especially. This being stated, I can offer insights on some important items to consider in practical aspects of living alone after a traumatic brain injury or a stroke that result in a severe muscle weakness along the left or right side of the body and is sometimes exhibited in slight nerve damage as with me. Perhaps instead of living by them selves, it would be better to consider us living independently. At this writing, I will have reached almost thirty years of living with hemiparesis. Most of this time I was living alone and working as an engineer and writer, author.

For us, the detrimental effects of hemiparesis are still prevalent even after initial rehabilitation and limited recovery. The effects can change with extreme variation.

Effects When Tired or Awoken

When the body is tired, effects can be worse and certainly more dangerous when living alone. An example is if awoken in the night, maybe by thirst, a call, or other concern. Even a healthy person could possibly stumble on sleepy legs or with eyes half open, but for those with left or right hemiparesis, the negative effects are magnified. A stumble can turn into a fall and possibly a head injury since one arm has poor strength, does not react quickly and is not likely to stop a fall. If a foot drags slightly during the day with shoes, then it can be so much worse at night even so unsafe that the person will roll over the toes so as to bruise them and fall forward on the weak side. Lessons learned here emphasize the need for uncluttered floors and hallways. A stray shoe on the floor or even newspaper can prove disastrous. Either could throw off the balance suddenly for a waking person especially in the dark.

This brings up a suggestion for low level lighting in the home or apartment. Economical battery operated motion detector lights are available at many stores now or a search online. Even if a cane is not needed during the day; it would be wise to have a cane near the bed, even a quad cane for late night awakenings or an early morning rising. In the morning, there are other issues as tightened up leg muscles that need stretching before safely moving.

Shower and Bathroom Safety

Morning stretching is important, especially as we who are injured age but more importantly, shower safety needs to be addressed. There is much assistive devices available and occupational therapists can communicate effectively the needs here, however I can give you my thoughts. These are that it can be quite scary at times, especially if you have had an accident, falling in the shower, tub or bathroom before. You will need to be able to have something within reach on your good side to grab onto, basically at all times. Please note that if you can’t use the screwed in support rails and use the bars with suction cups, you really need at least two bars together. Redundant support as these are known t slip and when you have water or soap in your eyes and reach out with the bar slipping, it can be devastating. I would recommend having a bar on the entry or exit and on the opposite side. This way if a person with hemiparesis turns around there is always a bar on the good side.

But it does not stop there. Bathroom floors are usually smooth surfaces and with one foot having no or minimal grab, then any water on a smooth tile or marble surface is like ice and can easily cause a fall when drying. Rubber backed rugs are most often used but can bunch up under feet. A work around solution for these throw rugs is rubber strips with adhesive on both sides. The local hardware store will have some rug grippers or search the web

Dressing

This is an area again where an occupational therapist assures you are prepared with any assistive devices for reaching around the weak side or fastening in back and collar. However, I can emphasize that so much more time needs to be available, just in case. Even though, there are assistive devices and there is ample training in doing this usually available before even leaving the hospital.

Food Preparation, Cooking Kitchen Safety

One’s ability to prepare meals will vary. I understand it’s good to be independent but in the kitchen it just may be smarter to minimize preparation with knives or stovetop. Even the oven can cause burns and fire easily. Having a cardboard pizza box fall onto a hot broiler iron can start a fire that is not too easy for someone with a disability to put out quickly. Sure there are now small convenient fire extinguishers available but some often need two good hands to operate correctly and then even finding it quickly can be an issue for trauma, brain injury or stroke victims.

Fortunately, there has been an improvement In microwave dinners. This certainly would not be your first option in the past. However, I have been at this for almost thirty years now and I really have seen a great variety come on the market and costs go down. Good, healthy dinners can be cooked in one minute. I still bake chicken and pizze plus a few others but safety really needs to bethe forst priority. Losing balance and reaching out to find as hot frying pan to lean on can happen and I have personal experience, it’s not a quick heal having a burn in the palm of your good hand. Agsin here as in the bathroom, a rug with rubber backing and rug grabbers should be required.

Mind Body Health Needs

Concentration and Focus are the key in most everything that the person with hemiparesis might have to overcome. That is why ongoing brain training is so important.

Human interaction, relationships contribute greatly to complex usage of our brain and even helping to stay young. Well living alone minimizes this benefit ad over time can have an adverse effect. Sure, some will say the upward potential may be limited but start with the objective of not losing ability. Without regular exercise, mind or body can atrophy to borrow a term used to describe not using muscles.

There are free and paid sources on the web. There are now brain improvement magazines at the local supermarket and brain games are popular and effective, most even for one hand use.

Geographic Area Specific Issues

Depending on your locality, power outages can occur during natural events mostly as snow or ice storms, hurricanes, tornadoes. When living on the eastern coast, I lost power even when their was a high windstorm. Natural events as this can have an impact on people living with hemiparesis just as they do for others with a disability, elderly or families in general. However preparedness is the key here and living alone increases importance of having battery lighting, food, water, cell phone, radio, all available and easily attainable in possibly in the dark.

The power loss may be worse in cold weather for this condition as detrimental effects can disable some people with this extreme muscle weakness and possibly nerve damage. This varies of course depending on person or injury but in general arms and legs can start shaking uncontrollably and a serious limitation to mobility. Poor effects are also exhibit in sudden changes of weather. Each person may experience this differently but a check with your physician is best.

To assist in times as these, warm clothing, even a safe generator where it can be installed in a home as a backup are suggestions with heat packs available at sporting good stores or camping supply shop.

Summary

Some of the techniques and tips outlined here may seem obvious to some or simple but they are not always thought of ahead of time before they are used. This is evident in support forums online, knowing individuals and my own thirty years of living with hemiparesis. There are of course more but in general, consideration that movements can be slow at times as can thinking. An important point is if there is a loss of balance or tripping, it will most likely be on the weak side which of course doesn’t react fast nor have enough hand strength usually to hang on to something firmly. This is why safety is the first priority when living alone with this injury.

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Source by Leon Edward

Views: 0

January 21, 2020
The Thirteen Steps to Riches, Napoleon Hill – A Brief Look at Each

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In his book “Think and Grow Rich”, Napoleon Hill talks of the Thirteen Steps to Riches. This information is still as relevant today as it was at the time of publication. This article looks at each of the steps briefly.

Step 1: Desire

You need to have a burning desire to achieve success. If you are tentative and timid, then it is not true desire. Have a definite and specific goal for what you want to achieve, and stick to it. Have a plan for how you are going to achieve that goal.

Step 2: Faith

Have faith that you really can achieve what you desire. If you have truly believe it, then it is more likely to manifest itself.

Step 3: Autosuggestion

Have a mental picture in your mind that you have already achieved what you desire. By replaying this consistently in your mind, you will gain the faith that you need to achieve it.

Step 4: Specialized Knowledge

Knowledge is not power, it is potential power. It becomes power if that knowledge is used, and put into definite plans of action. Take the time to learn what you need in order to become an expert in your field of expertise. Associate with others who are already experts and learn from them.

Step 5: Imagination

Albert Einstein said “Imagination is everything. It is the preview to life’s coming attractions”. This sums it up beautifully. If you can visualise what you want in life, and then focus on it, it should become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Step 6: Organized Planning

Once you know what your goal is, you need to have a definite and practical plan for how you are going to achieve it. Put the pieces in place that will help you achieve your success.

Step 7: Decision

Come up with a firm decision and stick to it. Don’t let others make your decision for you, and don’t delay your decision or procrastinate.

Step 8: Persistence

Lack of persistence keeps many people from great accomplishment. Keep working towards your goal, no matter what obstacles get in your way. Many people give up the minute they reach the slightest obstacle. You have to keep rising above the challenges thrown at you, and keep focusing on your end goal.

Step 9: Power of the Master Mind

Often those that are close to us will send us off course with their opinions and ridicule. Surround yourself with like minded people, who are all working towards a common goal. By doing this you create synergy, which is an unstoppable force.

Step 10: the Mystery of Sex Transmutation

There are a number of different stimulants that increase the intensity of our thought way beyond the realms of ordinary thought. For example love, a burning desire for fame or financial gain, music, fear. The most powerful of these stimulants is that of sex.

Step 11: the Subconscious Mind

The thoughts you have determine what you get in your life. Focus on your plan, and imagine that you have already achieved it.

Step 12: the Brain

It has been said that we only use somewhere between 5 and 10 percent of our brain. The rest of our brain power forms the subconscious mind, which is what we need to tap into in order to achieve the successes we desire.

Step 13: the Sixth Sense

The ability to use the sixth sense is gained when you apply and master all the previous steps. It takes time to develop it, and it is not something that can be switched on and off at will.

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Source by Kathy Munslow

Views: 0

January 17, 2020
How to Make Money As a Reflexologist

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Being a reflexologist is one of the top five career choices in the field of holistic health. The trend shows that more and more people are turning toward holistic practices to enhance traditional medical therapies. Being a reflexologist also allows the practitioner to create a flexible schedule in many circumstances.

If you have thought about a career in reflexology, it is time to start getting more information. The first thing you should do is contact the local reflexology association in your area. One such website is for the American Reflexology Certification Board. Although, certification is not required in the United States, for professional reasons, you should be certified if it is available.

At the website, you will want to find answers to several things. You can look for schools certified to teach reflexology, licensing and certification requirements, and any other information you think would be helpful to you.

Going to school to become a reflexologist is a requirement in most places, even if you don’t need to be licensed or certified after graduating. Classes range in duration from six months to one year or more. The class usually is at least 100 hours in classroom time and at least 300 hours practical time. Depending on your location, requirements may vary.

You should look for a reflexologist program that focuses on more than the feet and hands. Look for a school that discusses health, nutrition, biology, chemistry, physiology, anatomy, ethics and professionalism. Finding a school that also explains the business side of being a reflexologist is a plus.

You may want to consider a school that also offers a massage therapist program. Even if you don’t do it now, becoming a massage therapist can add to your income potential and increase your marketability. You may decide to wait to take these classes later, since they are more intense and licensing is a requirement in many areas.

As a reflexologist, you will be working with a client’s feet and hands for 45 minutes to one hour in a normal session. You should be able to talk with the client before, during and after the session. It is your job as a reflexologist to calm and relax the client while being a good listener.

Once you are in the final stages of the reflexologist program, you should start working on marketing your services. From your practical experience, you may have a small client base, but you need a large client base that will continue to grow. You should decide if you want to go to your clients or have them come to you. If they come to you, consider renting space or partnering with a chiropractor, doctor’s office, podiatrist, or holistic health center.

You may also want to check local gyms and spas as well. They may allow you to offer your reflexologist services through the business or they may hire you full time. It is just a matter of going to these different places and selling yourself and your services.

If you decide to go to your clients, you will want to partner with doctors, holistic practitioners, chiropractors, and gyms. They may refer clients to you to enhance the therapies their patients are currently receiving.

Once you know how you are going to work, you need to decide on the cost of your reflexology services. Some places will dictate the fees you can charge, and others will not. You will need to contact local reflexologists, and ask them about the services they offer and fees associated with the services. This information will give you a basis to work from when developing your own pricing system.

You should check reflexologist web sites routinely and subscribe to industry magazines. This will keep you up on new trends, tips, and techniques in reflexology. You may also look at continuing education class at your local community college.

Since you may with working with clients in a medical setting, the client may think you are a medical doctor. If this should happened, just gently remind the patient that you are not a doctor, but a trained, certified (when applicable), professional reflexologist.

The only other real problem you could face would be if you feel the client is unclean or the client’s feet and/or hands have sores, fungus or other diseases. Never feel that you have to accept everyone who contacts you as a client. You need to protect the clients you already have, and that may mean refusing service to others. Let them know they have a problem and should seek medical attention. Tell them to return to you when the problem has been corrected and then you will take them as a client.

If you are still interested in becoming a reflexologist, contact the local reflexology association, get more information, and get started.

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Source by Randy Wilson

Views: 0

January 11, 2020
A Healthy Dose of Medicine for the Soul

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A large segment of the human population takes things way too seriously for their own good. The strange anomaly is that most people laugh at the wrong thing and fail to laugh at the right thing. This serious incongruity has robbed people of a healthy attitude towards life in general.

Those who take life too seriously are in danger of missing the great joys of living in a crazy world like ours. I am not sure about the scientific research but I would guess that for every sad moment it takes one hundred laughs to balance the books. Some people are about ninety-nine laughs short of a real sane moment.

I like the old English proverb that says, “Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone.”

From my perspective, if you cannot laugh with someone you will not be able to cry with him or her and have it mean anything.

According to some medical advice, it takes more facial muscles and energy to frown than it does to smile. Of course, the only exercise some people have is frowning and who am I to take that away from them.

I am determined, no matter what, to exercise my right to smile and laugh and enjoy the world around me. I must confess that I get this attitude quite honestly.

My paternal grandfather was a Past Master in the area of practical jokes. No amount of time was too much to spend preparing for one of his famous practical jokes. His favorite holiday was April 1 and began preparing for this holiday right after Christmas.

The fact that his practical jokes at times got him into trouble did not seem to affect him at all.

Once while in the hospital for an extended period he had somebody smuggle in to him a can of snuff. For some reason he liked chewing snuff. It is the most disgusting habit I know of on earth.

He no sooner received his smuggled goods then he began chewing it. If you know anything about chewing snuff, you know it is accompanied by a lot of spitting. As usual, his timing was impeccable. Just as the head nurse passed his door and looked in, he leaned over and spit in to the garbage can he had next to his bed. The nurse, not knowing about the chewing snuff, thought he was spitting blood and immediately went into emergency mode. Immediately my grandfather was rushed into the operating room and the surgeon and medical team were assembled.

My grandfather was very sick at the time. Some did not think he would get out of the hospital.

Just as they got him situated in the operating room he pulled from under his sheet his can of chewing snuff and smiled at them. The only person in the room that thought this was in any way amusing was my grandfather. The doctors were so angry with him that they refused to see him for three days and confiscated his can of chewing snuff.

My aunt and uncle lived right next to my grandfather. My aunt was hyper clean when it came to her house. Dirt in any form was not welcome under her roof. She had a broom that was always within reach because she never knew when a piece of dirt would try to invade her domicile.

That year my grandfather found something new. I am not sure where he found it but he probably spent a lot of time looking for something like this. It was a rubber facsimile of a very nasty looking piece of vomit. To him it was a prized possession.

Most of his practical jokes were executed on April 1. Whenever we saw grandfather coming on this particular day we usually ran for cover.

He went over to visit my aunt and was sitting on the couch in the living room. They chatted for a little while and then my grandfather began to cough a little bit. He said to my aunt, “I haven’t been feeling good lately. I really don’t know what it is.” Then he started to cough a little more seriously, to which, my aunt got up and went to the kitchen to get him a glass of water thinking that might help him.

When she got back, she was shocked to see on her new coffee table a very horrible sight. My grandfather was bent over the coffee table hacking and coughing as though he was in the process of dying. On the coffee table was a very nasty looking piece of vomit.

My aunt went into hysterics. She whirled around and within a moment had grabbed her broom and started towards my grandfather. My grandfather was laughing but not for long.

Suddenly he realized that the flailing broom in my aunt’s hand was aimed at him. She chased him out of the house, down the driveway and for at least three blocks yelling obscenities at him that I dare not repeat in public society.

Laughter is the fresh air of the soul. Even the Bible thinks so.

“A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken” (Proverbs 15:13). And, my favorite, “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones” (Proverbs 17:22).

I recommend a healthy dose of medicine for your soul.

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Source by James Snyder

Views: 0

January 10, 2020
The Central Theme of Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki – Look For Assets Not Liabilities

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Rich Dad Poor Dad has been reviewed by many writers. The book, written in 1997 by Robert Kiyosaki, immediately became a success. The concepts expressed therein are the foundation of Robert Kiyosaki’s Rich Dad book series.

Rich Dad Poor Dad expresses a number of concepts that seem contrary to the established norms of accounting and finance. Robert Kiyosaki defines an asset as anything that puts money in your pocket and a liability as something that takes money away from your pocket.

In Rich Dad Poor Dad and indeed the entire Rich Dad series, Robert Kiyosaki encourages his readers to look for assets and avoid liabilities. This is the key message to those who want to become wealthy and prosper financially.

Based on the definition of assets and liabilities is the concept of making money work for you instead working hard for money. Money works consistently and diligently for a wise owner multiplying beyond expectations. You cannot become rich by working for money.

You earn passive income when you get your money to work for you, a concept explored exhaustively in Rich Dad Poor Dad. Passive income is the foundation of wealth as it gives leverage to your efforts. After setting up an income stream, it continues to make you money while you sleep.

The Rich Dad Corporation has three main shareholders: Robert Kiyosaki, his wife Kim Kiyosaki and Sharon Lechter. The three of them are co-founders of the RDPD Corporation under which they have produced a range of RDPD books.

Kim Kiyosaki has written her own line of Rich Women, Poor Women which is based on the same basic principles expressed in Rich Dad Poor Dad but is directed to a different audience altogether. Riding on the back of her husband, Kim Kiyasaki’s books have also been very successful, drawing millions of satisfied readers.

Robert Kiyosaki has influenced the lives of millions around the world through his books, helping many to become aware and get rid of doodads, thus eliminating liabilities from their financial life. He has conducted millions of seminars and training programs. He is dedicated to educating humanity in business principles and handling of personal finances, thus helping them to escape poverty.

The Rich Dad Series gives many practical examples of how to grow money using real estate, the stock market and business. The books confirm Robert Kiyosaki’s qualities as educator and motivator, and his understanding of economics and money concepts. Employing skills as educator and his knowledge of money matters, Robert Kiyosaki has been able to build an empire on the concepts expressed in Rich Dad Poor Dad.

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Source by Robert Mato

Views: 0

January 9, 2020
Style and Glamour With Leather Luggage Tags

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Today, luggage tags play an important role with long distance travelling. In the days gone by this duty was fulfilled with a simple luggage sticker. Although this little sticker carried vital information of the passenger’s travel details, it did not receive its due attention. The travel world has changed over the decades. Today luggage stickers have been replaced by luggage tags. This has got so much prominence, that the consumer market is flooded with different designs and styles of luggage tags. Amidst this wide range, travellers will also find the Leather Luggage Tags.

There are some interesting facts about leather – it is nature’s most luxurious, yet practical type of material. It is mostly used to manufacture bags, but today luggage tags too have joined the bandwagon of leather items. Since there is a wide range of low-cost luggage tags freely available in the markets today, travellers prefer to change them each time they travel. However, there will be some passengers who will not prefer a change, and would like to continue to use the same tags. The best choice during a situation such as this is to have luggage tags made out of leather. It is the most durable, long-lasting and stylish type of material. It definitely gives elegance and class when seen tagged on your luggage. There is range that you can select from, and given below are just a few choices which will help you have an idea on the type of Leather Luggage Tags that are found at retail and online stores:

1) Crocodile Luggage Tag: Croc-Embossed leather travel accessory which will look so elegant on your baggage, that you might be even called for an upgrade to luxury class! They are made of Italian calfskin with authentic croc embossing, stylish purple lining and skillful craftsmanship. The quality of the tag will definitely improve with age. It has a rich design, with a gold buckle and a privacy flap to protect your identity.

2) Royce Luggage Tag: Made of top grain full harness cowhide leather. This is a neatly manufactured tag with the ultimate in luxury and privacy.

3) Leather Luggage Tags – Italian Leather: Available in a choice of 10 different colours, and some which also includes a small design. Whether you prefer basic black or you would like a bit of recognizable colour – they have it. This tag will help you identify your luggage quickly and get you moving to your next destination.

4) Goodhope Luggage Tag: Made of leather and round in shape. Available in a range of 6 bright colours. Includes strap and is easy to spot as it features a creamy saddle stitch.

5) Lewis N Clarke Luggage Tag: A bonded leather neon green luggage tag with an open face for travel details. Perfect to help you identify your baggage even from a distance.

Given above are just a few ideas of the wide range of Leather Luggage Tags that are found in the market. It might be far easier for you to shop online, it gives you an opportunity to browse these products at your leisure, and select the best of your choice.

Make your next long distance trip in elegance and style with luxury travel accessories!

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Source by Paul Sung

Views: 0

December 31, 2019