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  • The Advantages and Disadvantages of Being Wealthy and Successful

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    As far as I know, almost everyone wants to become wealthy and successful. Being wealthy and successful allows you to lead a comfortable life, buy anything you want to buy, do whatever you want to do and many others. However, it also brings you some disadvantages. Below I will explain them in detail.

    Advantages

    There are countless advantages and I will introduce three major ones.

    1. Wealth and success can guarantee you a high quality life. Many people are pursuing wealth and success because of this reason. Being wealthy means having a lot of money. So you will not worry about matters which are related to money. You can receive the best education, afford the best healthcare and buy anything you want. Besides, you will never worry about your work because you have enough money to feed yourself. In a word, you will be fully satisfied with your life and love your life.

    2. Being wealthy and successful can make you more confident. If you are a successful man, you will find that many people respect you and then you will have a feeling of victory. This will make you much more confident and your confidence and aura will be embodied in your life and work. Moreover, your accomplishments can also give you confidence and satisfaction. Some accomplishments can not be easily achieved but you are able to achieve them. Then, you will receive appreciations from other people.

    3. If you are wealthy and successful you may consider doing some charity work. There are many poor and helpless people around the world. Maybe you want to help them out before but do not have enough money, so when you are rich, you can achieve your desire. Doing some charity work can make you happy, contented and delighted.

    Disadvantages

    Being wealthy and successful does have some disadvantages.

    1. It is hard to know whether your friends or partners are interested in your money or not. When you have gained wealth and success, many people are willing to make friends with you. So you will not know who your genuine friends are.

    2. Perhaps you will be an open target for kidnap or blackmail. If you have much money, some lawless person may plan to kidnap you or your relatives to earn some money.

    Although there are some disadvantages, being wealthy and successful is still an attractive thing. Everyone can gain wealth and success as long as he tries his best to work hard.

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    Source by Sharon R Chen

    Views: 0

  • Lobster – A Rags to Riches Story

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    When the first ships arrived at Plymouth, most shellfish was not considered fit for human consumption, due in no small part to its resemblance to an insect as it crawled along the ocean bottom. Most early passengers during the 1600s were from England and other U.K. countries and accustomed to eating beef, mutton and fowl. What they did consume from the ocean was usually fish, in the form of cod, haddock and sole. Abundant lobster was fed to servants and domestic animals (there must have been a lot of happy cats). Native Americans used it for fertilizer. Just picture thousands of these spiny creatures as they were washed up on the shores of the Cape, where anyone could fill a bucket for free. (Are you drooling yet?)

    Even though canneries began to pop up along the Eastern Seaboard two centuries later, lobster was not a desirable item on the dinner menu, but regarded as a cheap and nutritious protein for the poor and for prisoners, much like canned tuna was on the West Coast. You can be sure that foodie Thomas Jefferson never allowed the lowly lobster to darken the door of his kitchen. Keep in mind that Americans were still clinging to their native British diet, which was primarily meat-based. Shellfish were foreign to them and not widely eaten in any form.

    Slowly lobster became more accepted, especially with railroad travel during the 19th century, when passengers moving cross country were unfamiliar with the succulent white meat and could be fed for pennies in the dining cars. And as wealthy vacationers flocked to Cape Code each summer, lobster was discovered and embraced, creating a surge in popularity and in price.

    During the 1920s lobster prices really began to soar, only to plummet during the Great Depression when few could afford it. Due to no shortage, lobster was not rationed during WWII and thus became a delicacy among the more affluent. Shortly thereafter, fine restaurants featured it on their menus, and cookbooks praised its savory possibilities. By the 1950s, lobster had firmly positioned itself as a luxury food, just below caviar, and prices responded accordingly.There are many different species of lobster, from the prized Maine lobster, which commands the highest prices, to the smaller lobster of Mexico called langostino. Americans value the highly prized Maine lobster tail with drawn butter above all else.

    Currently, business is booming. Last year, New England fishermen unloaded more than 130 million pounds, which adds up to approximately 534 million dollars. (Think of the butter required.) And that’s just U.S. figures. Our Canadian neighbors to the north also enjoy a prosperous lobster business, with much of their bounty exported to Asia. Current prices for the Maine variety, which are considered more desirable than Canadian cousins, hover around 9 to 11 dollars per pound at wholesale. Langostino lobster, which is common in the Southwest and Mexico, is not really lobster at all but another species of crab. It is sold by some fast food restaurants, featured at food stands and eateries south of the border and costs considerably less than American lobster.

    So there you have it. A real rags to riches saga. Lobster thermidor, lobster mac and cheese, lobster rolls, lobster salad, New England clam bakes, bisque and just plain old outrageously delicious Maine lobster. Pity anyone allergic to shellfish, because lobster ranks right up there on the taste scale, and lobster fans pay dearly for their favorite food. Clearly, there is no end in sight.

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    Source by Dale Phillip

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  • What Is The Best Style Of Writing For Online Content?

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    If your website has poor online content it has little or no value to your audience. Online content can be read, watched, listened to and shared. It can be a written article (like the one you're reading now), a blog post, a report, an eBook, an online tutorial, a video or an audio file.

    But one of the most challenging tasks that most website owners face is writing or producing online content that their audience will find useful and engaging. Here a 5 tips to help you create online content that your audience will love.

    1. Understand The Difference Between Offline And Online

    Content that is published in the offline world, like in newspapers and magazines, is different to the content published on most websites. Content in newspapers and magazines generally appeal to a broad audience. Whereas your website content will be quite specific to your audience. You still need good grammar and spelling in your online content but many other traditional rules of writing are broken online.

    2. Small Paragraphs

    When people read online they want short paragraphs of text that can be quickly scanned. Your website visitors don't want to be overwhelmed with large blocks of text. Short paragraphs of text make it easier for your reader to focus on what you have written, and skip from section to section.

    3. Bullet Points And Subheadings

    When you use bullet points and subheadings it also make your content easy to read on a screen. Subheadings provide your reader a basic idea of ​​what the content is about, which can help keep people attention for longer. Bullet points are brief and concise, delivering important information in a simple style.

    4. Use Images And Photos

    People expect to have images included with online content. They make your website look better, articles easier to scan and enhance to your brand. Personal photographs are great for a personal blog and you can also find lots of free pictures, images and photos on numerous stock photo websites.

    5. Overall Tone

    Web content can be more conversational. Keep your writing tone light, casual and interesting if you are writing informal content. Of course, if you're writing for a technical website you will have to use the proper descriptions and appropriate language structure. Having said that, in many instances, an informal tone shows off your individuality and is a great way to connect with your online audience.

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    Source by Jon Allo

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  • Rich Brother by Tobias Wolff

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    The Rich Brothers is a story of two brothers, their sibling rivalry and their contrast in everything including worldly success and failure. While Pete is rich and Donald is poor by the end of the story we are left wondering who among the two is actually rich in the real sense of the term.

    Pete, the older among the sibling is rich and successful. He exemplifies the American middle class dream – nice family life with a wife and two daughters, a house, a sailboat, and every other thing that money can buy you – of success that his hard work in real estate business could attain for him. Donald, the younger brother is just his opposite. He lives alone and survives out of painting houses. At times, he lives in a Berkeley ashram and lives in financial debt.

    Pete comes to rescue Donald out of his difficulties and donates him money right in the beginning of this story. The two are driving in a car when Pete gifts him $100. However, there is a subtle sub-text of sibling rivalry in the background during their childhood as also when they grow up. Donald for instance, reminds Pete how as a kid he wanted to kill him, to which Pete replies, “children always do such things”.

    Pete doesn’t bother to or perhaps doesn’t like to discuss his personal life with Donald, yet Donald asks him if he ever dreams of his younger brother. Pete, in fact has a recurring dream that he is blind and needs his brother’s assistance. Perhaps, the author has metaphorically hinted at the blindness inherent in material success and in need of genuine spiritual assistance from people like Donald.

    The story moves further even as we discover more contrasting characteristics of the two brothers. In comes a character Webster that tells them a mythic tale of his own dream experience involving goldmine and greed. Donald gives away $100 gifted to him by Pete. But Pete throws him out of the car on learning what he has done.

    Meanwhile, Pete ponders what would he answer his wife when she would ask him about his brother? Perhaps, he is not worried. Material wealth has blind his conscience; his sensitivity: “And in this way, smiling, nodding to the music, he went another mile or so and pretended that he was not already slowing down, that he was not going to turn back, that he would be able to drive on like this alone, and have the right answer when his wife stood before him in the doorway of his home and asked, Where is he? Where is your brother?”(Wolff 269)

    Wolff’s story parallels the biblical story of Cain and Abel. One brother is spiritual, God-oriented, helping and reaching out to others, while the other is materialistic, has least concern with God and can even go to the extent of trying to kill or hurt his brother. The contrast in the character of the two brother compels us to ask who is the rich brother? The one that has money or the one who lacks material wealth, but is endowed with human virtues? Who really needs whom? Does Donald really need money? If he really needed money, why would he give it away to Webster without a second thought? Pete can only pretend that he doesn’t need Donald. He can only pretend that he can go alone and will answer his acts toward his brother.

    The author through contradictory characters of the two brothers has tried to dig the real meaning of wealth. A person can remain unfulfilled despite all his wealth as shown through the metaphor of dream where Pete is blind and in need for assistance. Donald is pious, happy and harbors no grudge against Pete, and therefore, is quite capable of helping Pete learn how to be a good person.

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    Source by Ajit Kumar Jha

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  • How Smoking (Drug Abuse) and Drinking (Alcohol) Affects Your Academic Performance

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    One day, Barack’s mother, Ann Dunham marched into his room, wanting to know the details of Pablo’s arrest. “Don’t you think you are a little casual about your future?” she asked. “What do you mean? he responded. “Bar, you know exactly what I mean. Your friend Pablo was just arrested for drug possession, and your grades are slipping. You haven’t even started on your college application.”

    Barack Obama was a serious and brilliant student before he gained admission into Punahou School, Honolulu. In this school, he joined the “Choom gang”. It was a self-named gang that spent time together drinking alcohol, smoking marijuana and sniffing cocaine. Drugs made the choom gang popular in school. His relationship with the choom gang prospered, but his academics suffered. Drugs and alcohol made him lose focus. All he thought about was how to get high. He and his friends Ray, Pablo, Mark and others exhausted their time devising simply ways of doing drugs, which include total absorption (TA), the antithesis and the choomwagon. Reading was difficult because he was always high and confused. Indeed, he was heading towards becoming a junkie.

    His performance in school was a mess. Barack’s mother was right. His grades were going down every term. He was not even bothered about admission to college. All he thought was drugs because it was part of him. Truly, his friend Pablo was arrested by the police for drug possession.

    When pressure from his mum and his poor performance became unbearable, he thought about not going to college. Nevertheless, Barack’s mother kept encouraging him. She always told him that he could get into any school in the country if he just put in a little effort. Within him, he knew that the “effort” he needed was to quit drugs.

    He managed to graduate without mishap and was admitted into Occidental College in Los Angeles. Even without the choom gang around, Barack continued his drug escapade. To continue his education, Barack was transferred to Columbia University, New York.

    In New York, he decided to stop getting high. For the first time in years, Barack applied himself to his studies. He regained his love and strength for reading. Reading and understanding became easy because he was focused and at alert always. Barack began to trace out his future. It became clear that he had been wasting his precious time on drugs. He attended class regularly and soon graduated with good grades.

    “Using drugs and alcohol was a seriously misguided mistake. It was my greatest moral failure that could have destroyed my future. Maybe if I had not stopped doing drugs, I might have dropped out of school and wouldn’t have become the 44th President of the United States”, he once said.

    Lesson

    Drug and alcohol use on campus is universal. Students articulate many reasons why they do it, but most neglect to consider the academic and long-time consequences of their actions. Some are compelled to use drugs at social gatherings either because everyone else seems to be doing it or they believe it’s the cool thing to do. Others feel that drug and alcohol abuse offers an escape away from school or work-related stress, financial worries or relationship problems. Some feel that alcohol and drug abuse provide a way to compensate for feelings of shyness or low esteem.

    According to one study, 90% of teens said they have used alcohol; 50% have used marijuana; 17% have used cocaine, and 13% have used some form of hallucinogenic drugs. Drug use has been classified as a major problem of students as early as in primary 4. A recent report published by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration suggests that adolescents who receive grades of D or below are more likely than those in good academic standing to have recently used cigarettes, alcohol and/or other illicit drugs.

    The new research is part of a large-scale study of health and development conducted in New Zealand. Researchers administered IQ tests to over 1,000 individuals at age 13 (born in 1972 and 1973) and assessed their patterns of cannabis use at several points as they aged. Participants were again tested for IQ at age 38, and their two scores were compared as a function of their marijuana use. The results were striking: Participants who used cannabis heavily in their teens and continued through adulthood showed a significant drop in IQ between the ages of 13 and 38-an average of 8 points for those who met criteria for cannabis dependence. (For context, a loss of 8 IQ points could drop a person of average intelligence into the lowest third of the intelligence range.) Those who started using marijuana regularly or heavily after age 18 showed minor declines. By comparison, those who never used marijuana showed no declines in IQ.

    Researchers studying the effects of alcohol use on the brain are aided by advanced technology such as magnetic resonance imaging (MRI), diffusion tensor imaging (DTI), position emission tomography (PET) and electrophysiological brain mapping (EBM) showed that long-term heavy drinking lead to shrinking of the brain which impairs learning, memory formation and retrieval. That is why most times we read and forget within a short period.

    The process of generating new brain cells (i.e., neurons) is called neurogenesis. High level of alcohol leads to a disruption in the growth of brain cells. The decline of the number of brain cells leads to problems in learning and behaviour. The number of brain cell a student possesses determines his level of understanding. A student who has a higher amount of brain cells will do better academically.

    Thiamine, also known as vitamin B1, is an essential nutrient required by the brain. Up to 80% of alcoholics have a deficiency in thiamine, which may lead to memory loss and mental confusion. It might also affect your attention and concentration. Substance abusers easily get distracted; misplace things, forgetting to keep appointments and so on. As the brain continues to adapt to the presence of the drug, regions outside of the reward pathway are also affected. Brain regions responsible for judgment, learning, and memory begin to physically change or become “hardwired.” Learning, reading, and comprehension becomes difficult because the brain had been wired to focus on alcohol.

    Alcohol can produce detectable impairment in memory after only a few drinks and as the amount of alcohol increases so does the degree of impairment. Large quantity of alcohol can produce a blackout or an interval of time for which the intoxicated person cannot recall key details of events or even an entire event. Think about how much study time you have lost because you were too hung-over the next day to go to class. Drug abusers oversleep and are always tired.

    Severe Hallucination is another problem faced by drug users. Most times they lose touch with realities during lectures or examination. Physically they are in class but mentally they are somewhere else. Academics requires both physical and mental alertness. Therefore, a “high” students can attend lecture but will derive nothing because he was busy building castles in the air. Hallucination leads to academic failure.

    Everyone who became a drug or alcohol addict started with “let me taste or try it.” Smoking cigarette or Indian hemp or drinking alcohol is not a sign of “big boy or big girl”. It is not a sign of maturity but immaturity. You should not please your company by abusing drugs or alcohol. Drugs and alcohol are slow poisons. It solves no problem, if you get high because of financial stress, relationship problems, shyness or peer pressure, after some minute, you will get low and the problem will still be there.

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    Source by Anyaehie George Kelechi

    Views: 0

  • How Do You Metabolize Your Emotions

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    Emotions are not something that you wear like makeup or clothing. Emotions are not something that you acquire like a rash or a physical injury. Emotions are not something that are part of you like your skin. Emotions are like food. You cannot move through your handful of days without eating from the human emotional banquet each and every day. This is an “All You Can Eat” sort of Cosmic buffet. It caters to one and all be they rich, poor, educated or illiterate, male or female. This emotional buffet cares not whether you are a Christian, Muslim, Buddhist or Jew.

    Many people forget that emotions, like nutritional food, are necessary for our very existence and well being, and like food, move through our system and hopefully become digested and metabolized. Too often though, we tend to hold on to our emotions for their metaphorical/symbolic significance. We often adopt our emotions like abandoned pets. We want to OWN them. Emotions MUST BE METABOLIZED and allowed to move through our entire system of consciousness. A person will often choose certain drugs like coffee, cigarettes, alcohol, chocolate as well as the more dramatic drugs, as a way of stimulating a specific emotional (or the memory of that emotion) response. These emotional memories are often selected as one would select an entree at a grand buffet. Often people will even come together and couple-up in an attempt to stimulate certain specific emotions within themselves as well as within the other.

    We are not our emotions. Our emotions are but a lingering trail of experiential sensation. Our emotions are like a foggy breath on a cold morning or like the trail of after images left by a flashlight as you attempt to write your name in the dark night sky. Emotion is not the object, it is not the event. When we experience something we have a “feeling-emotion” about it, there is a slight time delay there, where we can assign a level of magnitude to the emotion (remember the emotion is NOT the experience). But once we assign a value and magnitude to the emotion which trails after the experience, we own it. Then the experience will move on but we will be left with the emotion (and the memory of that emotion). It will have become the event. Often we become wrapped up in these trailing emotions like tangled balls of yarn, rope, or chain. Often we cannot even find an end. “When did this start?”, “How did I come to be so wrapped up in this emotion?”, “Where did I pick up this feeling about??” “How did I come to feel this way?” And a very popular one, “When will it end!” At the same time we are lamenting the presence of one emotion we are often creating others. We own them as if they were real estate! They are not real. But often we become collectors.

    Now how can we reduce our addiction to emotion, because that’s what it is, addiction. Drugs are merely metaphors for preferred emotional states. Most habitual behavior is a searching for an emotional memory. So how can we reduce our incessant quest for emotional memories. Quite simple. Sit down, get quiet and simply “watch” your mind. Simply observe it. Don’t argue, cajole or threaten. Just sit there and be quiet. It is an art of increasing the spaces, removing the old thought/image/emotions and not replacing them with…anything.

    Some call it meditation. Usually when meditating I notice long trains of thought and image. The other day I was sitting with myself, being empty, but actually watching the train of thought going by, when I noticed that, like a real train, there were small spaces between the thoughts. It was as if I was parked at a railway crossing waiting for a long train to pass. I could see the spaces between the cars. At first I was fascinated with the rolling stock. What were the logos on the sides of the cars, how were they different from one another, where were they going, where had they been? Gradually I began to move my attention into the spaces between the individual thoughts, between the cars and then suddenly-I was in the clear, on the other side.

    The lesson here is to go for the space and forget the content. Emotion is a process and not a product. Release the emotion, increase the space and embrace The Light.

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    Source by Jann Burner

    Views: 0

  • If You Want to Be Rich You Don’t Need Good Grades

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    Did you parents ever give you the advice that in order to become wealthy they need to study hard, get good grades so they can get a good job? I know I have heard this advice on many occasions from my parents. But the fact is that getting good grades no longer ensures that you will become wealthy. Even many doctors, who are often the ones with the best grades, are now struggling to earn a lot of money. If you want to get rich, without needing good grades, then read on.

    Something that they don’t teach you in school is that you banker never asks for your report card. If you go to your bank and ask for a loan, either for a business, property or some other investment, then your banker is not going to ask for your school report card. Your school report card has very little relevance on whether or not you will become rich. There are many highly educated people who are poor and struggling for money. There are also some very uneducated people who a millionaires and billionaires.

    Schools are developed to train people to look for a job, but this alone will not make you rich. Often it is the educated people with the highest paying jobs that have the most debt and are in the worst spot financially. You don’t need good grades in school to become rich, but you do need a good financial education. A lot of people leave school without the slightest financial education. Many leave deeply in debt from school fees and they spend their entire lives trying to get out of debt.

    Some very simple financial education can save you a lot of time and trouble and can make you rich a lot quicker. In fact someone with a lot of financial education, but not a lot of school smarts, is much more likely to become rich than someone with school smarts but now financial education.

    In school you are more intelligent if you can make finer distinctions. Let me give you an example. If you can distinguish a car from a truck then you have some intelligence. However, if you can distinguish a 1987 Ford Laser from a 1990 Ford Laser then that is a greater distinction. You are able to understand things in finer detail and are therefore more intelligent. In school you will also be taught that there is often more than one meaning to a word. For example, the word pound means many different things. It can mean money, in the form of English currency, it can refer to weight, it can refer to a lost dogs home or it can mean to hit with a force. The one word has multiple meanings.

    In finance, some words have different meanings. Only in finance one meaning will make you poor, and another meaning will make you rich. Neither meaning is right or wrong, just different, but they have very different outcomes.

    One of the most important words you will ever understand in finance is the term asset. Now your banker will tell you an asset is anything you own that is of monetary value. This includes you old golf clubs, your suits and your car. This is one correct meaning of the word asset, but it will make you poor. A better understanding of the word asset is something that generates you an income whether you work or not. To put it simply, if you stop working today an asset will continue to put money into your pocket. A liability is something that takes money out of your pocket whether you work or not.

    A lot of people are poor because they spend their time buying assets that are liabilities. They buy things of monetary value that cost them money to own. A car costs money to own every month. So although, according to the bank’s definition of an asset, they are acquiring an asset, they are becoming poorer. Rich people focus on spending their time and money to acquire assets that generate them income. It is these assets that make them rich, and it is the ability to define the difference between an asset and a liability that makes them financially intelligent.

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    Source by Ryan Mclean

    Views: 0

  • Why Goodwill Is Vital to Success

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    When I originally got the idea for this blog entry, I was thinking in terms of success in business, as a result of three lackluster experiences I recently had with customer service at three different businesses. Then, when I sat down to write about it, I soon realized that goodwill is vital to all areas of life.

    Goodwill is similar to integrity in that in takes time to develop but can be lost in an instant. As my cousin says, “Goodwill is a byproduct of doing the right thing.” Webster’s dictionary defines goodwill as “a kindly feeling of approval and support: benevolent interest or concern.”

    This definition makes clear that whether it is with your business associates, teammates, coaches, or bosses, or in your interpersonal relationships, without goodwill it is difficult to get beyond a surface level with any of them.

    In today’s ultracompetitive world everything that gives you a leg up on the competition makes your success more likely. As successful businessman Marshall Field was fond of saying, “Goodwill is the only asset that competition cannot undersell or destroy.”

    Each of the three companies from whom I experienced poor customer service developed varying degrees of goodwill – mostly negative – from me. The one that earned the most goodwill eventually offered me an acceptable solution and I am still doing business with them (though on a more cautious basis now).

    One of the other two offered worthless suggestions, compounding my initial frustration. The last one had a website that failed repeatedly to send my complaints and was unresponsive to the ones that did go through. Needless to say, it would have taken a lot of goodwill to overcome these slights and I decided to close both of those accounts.

    One of the quickest ways to earn goodwill is to exceed expectations. Here’s a recent example of a business that engendered massive amounts of goodwill from me. I ordered a supplement and a few weeks after receiving my order I received another package from them with a new bottle of what I had previously ordered and the following note enclosed:

    “I want to take a moment to thank you for your recent purchase. As a token of our appreciation we sent you your next bottle free of charge. You will not be charged for this bottle and are not signed up to an auto-ship program of any kind. We just wanted to say a quick hello and thank you”

    -Greg, Founder of Weyland Brain Nutrition

    Not only did they send me my next bottle free of charge, they also enclosed a bottle of another product for me to try. I have since recommended them to several of my clients and am now a devoted customer.

    The same phenomenon happens in our interpersonal relationships. When you go the extra mile for a co-worker, boss, friend, lover, coach or teammate, you engender goodwill and strengthen your bond with them. This in turn will lead to greater trust and loyalty, thus opening the door to greater possibilities for the relationship.

    Most people want to stand out from the crowd and are frustrated when they don’t. I like to tell my clients that if you don’t like being stuck in the crowd, go the extra mile; it’s never crowded there. It’s a simple recipe for success that is often neglected by the masses and will also go a long way towards engendering plenty of goodwill from others.

    You can follow Sam on Twitter @SuperTaoInc

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    Source by Sam Obitz

    Views: 0

  • The Philosophy of the Mind, Mindset and Mentality

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    It is important for people, who are serious about reflecting on the issue of the mind and its associated issues of the body. It is defined that the basis of Philosophy of the Mind is the branch of philosophy that studies the nature of the mind (mental events, mental functions, mental properties and consciousness) and its relationship to the physical body. It intersects to some extent with the fields of neurobiology, computer science and psychology. It is also interesting, at this juncture, to evaluate an aspect of theory of mind. It is stated that 'Theory of the Mind', is the social cognitive ability to explain and predict other people's actions in terms of the fundamental mental states, such as beliefs, intentions, or feelings.

    Baron-Cohen is a Professor of Developmental Psychopathology who proposed the empathizing / systematizing theory of psychological sex differences. He emphasizes that females are more disposed to an empathizing style and males are more disposed to a systematizing style. Consciously and sub-consciously both genders progressively streamline their efforts to draw meaningful results to find out which effect is more pronounced in the daily lives of human beings. Therefore, it is logical to study the relationship of the mind and mind-set with a variance of mentality. Thus, the mentality, eventually, becomes a pivotal point either good or bad subjectively.

    All creatures are created on "The Fitrat"; It is an Arabic word and it means original creation without an analogy. It has an ingrained quality that likes truth and good. It rejects all malign and untruth until such that the arrogance and ignorance overpower the mind. The deviation has its impact, yet the 'The Fitrat' constantly reminds the human beings its repercussions. However, the human mind which is polluted with arrogance and impertinence finally leads towards disaster.

    Analyzing the above scenario, which leads to environmental forces playing a dominant role affecting human behavior. Since God has also bestowed human beings' wisdom and knowledge, hence, human has a choice to select and rejects what his mind dictates. Subsequently, it develops a mentality which suits his desires finally shaping the personality of men and women accordingly.

    A question arises about how a mind affects the personality; If so, then in what way? Again, how it shapes the mentality? Human behavior indicates that the structure of brain correlates with their activities. The brain is directly proportional to personality and it is substantiated by Collin De Young and his team at University of Minnesota. They further stated, "Experiences change the brain as it develops, and those changes in the brain can change personality."

    Dr. Daniel Siegel coined the term "mindset" to describe the human capacity to perceive the mind of the self and others. A mindset is a relationship between the mind and brain and these factors collectively evolve the mentality. It differs with every individual subject to their upbringing with respective dwellings within the parameters of cultural, social and family values.

    It is important to understand why some individuals from poor dwellings, who, after, marriage is living in economically affluent environments remain introvert and perverted. Their past still haunts their behavior which is subconsciously governed by their poor mentality. Thus, their martial, live in affluent families failed to make a dent on a positive note. Hence, the relationship within their post marital environment conspicuously shows unhappy and bickering. In many cases, it drastically affects children and relationships among respective families.

    It is said that being a poor person is not bad, but having a poor mentality is a disaster. This typical camouflage scenario will expose the truth lying beneath the façade of superficial mask. Here, those people who are responsible to adjust and maintained the situations in a harmony often failed miserably because of dubious thinking and arrogance. It is appropriate to, quote, "The mind is a beautiful servant; a dangerous master." (The source of this quote is unknown)

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    Source by Ehtesham Mirza

    Views: 0

  • What Can I Say To Make My Husband Understand The Pain That His Cheating Has Caused?

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    It’s very common from me to hear from wives who are struggling to explain to their husbands just how much his cheating or affair hurt them and caused them pain. But often, their husband doesn’t react in the way that they were hoping for and they are looking for a way to explain their feelings so that he actually understands them.

    I recently heard from a wife who said, in part: “I have repeatedly tried to explain to my husband the depth of and reasons for my pain after his infidelity, but he either doesn’t want to hear it or he’s not understanding what I’m saying. Sometimes, I pour my heart out to him and try to explain how he has hurt me and all I get is blank stare back or empty assurances that he really is trying. This is so frustrating to me because I need him to understand the extent of my pain so that I can have some reassurance that he’ll never cheat again. I want him to understand why I sometimes act in the way that I do because of what a grave mistake he has made. But part of me thinks that he’s unwilling or just incapable of hearing me. How can I explain my pain in a way that he’ll actually understand and be willing to listen?” I’ll address these concerns in the following article.

    Pick The Right Time And Know That, Once You Start Repeating Yourself, Your Words Lose Their Effectiveness: I hear from both wives who are faithful and husbands who are not on my blog and I can tell you that if you are constantly talking about your hurt and pain, eventually, even the most sincere husband will begin to tune you out. One reason for this is that no one wants to constantly be reminded of the pain that they have caused. And husbands will often want to place their focus on moving on while the wife wants to place her focus on understanding and digging a little deeper.

    This doesn’t necessarily mean that the husband doesn’t care about your pain or just doesn’t want to hear it. But, at least sometimes, he hears your words as accusations. He might constantly hear that his selfishness and weakness has hurt you deeply and this just isn’t a message that he wants to hear on a continual basis, day after day. Men will often give comments like “she constantly wants to tell me how much the infidelity has hurt her. I do believe and understand that and I’m sorry for it. But, do I really need or have to listen to what an awful person I am every single day? How many times does she need to explain where I went wrong or how awful I am before she will feel satisfied that she’s said it enough? I tell her I’m deeply sorry. I listen. But it doesn’t seem to be enough and we repeat this process constantly.”

    I’m not telling you this to imply that you can’t regularly discuss and try to work through the infidelity. I’m telling you this because I want you to understand the obstacles that are in your way and the dynamics that are at play here. If you really want your husband to listen and to take your words to heart, then sometimes you have to pick the right time and limit the message so that it has the maximum impact.

    Consider What Your Husband Is Actually Going To Hear Before You Say The Words: I alluded to this in the previous paragraph, but sometimes the message that your husband hears has more to do with your tone and your delivery than the words that you say. So you might say something like “your infidelity has hurt me deeply. It’s made me doubt your integrity and your love and commitment to me. It’s affected my self esteem and my level of trust. And I’m not sure when things are going to get any better.”

    But what he hears is often something more in line with: “your poor decision to cheat on me has ruined my life and will probably ruin our marriage. You are an awful, selfish person with very little impulse control. And your actions have caused me so much pain that I might not ever fully recover. Because of this, I am going to feel pain and resentment every time I look at you or even think of you. And, this is going to be our lot in life from this day on because I don’t anticipate any changes.”

    These examples might seem a little extreme, but they aren’t that far off from the comments that I hear. An unfaithful husband can hear a message that you never intended. And because of this, he is often somewhat resistant to that message. Of course, the wife will often take this to mean he isn’t listening or he just doesn’t care and so she will continue to repeat herself with more feeling. And of course, this just keeps the cycle going. She doesn’t feel heard and he feels beaten down and neither person is getting what they want or need.

    If you think about it, what you probably really want is to feel heard. You want for him to know, understand, (and even feel) your pain because if he does, he’s less likely to cheat again and more likely to show the remorse that so many of us really want and need. So, think about what’s most likely to accomplish this.

    You don’t want to come across as too accusatory or too despondent because unfortunately, these things will contribute to him feeling defensive and to tuning you out. Instead, you want to use “I” phrases so that it sounds as if you’re talking responsibility for your own feelings and you’re not just trying to lay on the blame or make him feel continuously guilty for the rest of his life. And, you want to choose the time when your message is most likely to be heard. You don’t want to try to explain yourself in the middle of a fight or when you’re main goal is to hurt him. I’ve found that the message is often more likely to be heard if you say it when things are going a little more positively and both people are calm.

    An Example Of What To Say To Express The Pain His Cheating Has Caused: An example would be something like: “if this is a good time, I’d like to briefly explain how much your infidelity has hurt me. I’m not doing this to punish you or to paint you as a horrible person. I love you and don’t think you’re an awful person, but I need to feel as though you care enough to hear me. And I need to know that you truly understand so that you will hesitate to cheat again. Having someone who you love more than anything betray you in this way is something that is more devastating and hurtful than I could have ever imagined. It calls into doubt things about your marriage and yourself that are just devastating. Can you even begin to put yourself in my shoes and imagine that the rolls were reversed? Because I need to know that you understand how much pain I’m in so that we can begin to move forward once and for all. I don’t intend to keep bringing this up, but before I move on, I need to know that you truly understand.”

    Phrasing like this is much more likely to get the response and the understanding that you are after. But you can only play this card so often before your husband begins to tune you out. So once you’ve laid your cards on the table, it’s best to begin to move forward so that your husband can see that you’re sincere about not using your words to continuously punish him.

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    Source by Katie Lersch

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