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Tag: Phrases

  • Should I Still Be Saying "I Love You" To My Separated Spouse?

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    When you are in the middle of a separation that you never wanted in the first place, it can be tempting to want to remind your spouse that they are still married to someone who still loves them very much. I know first hand that there can be a real worry that if they are outside of your presence, they will begin to forget what they loved about you. Or they will find that the phrase “out of sight, out of mind” is actually true.

    So it may be your normal inclination to tell your separated spouse that you love them every time you talk with or see them. And this is absolutely fine – so long as you are getting an enthusiastic response in reply. Unfortunately, this is not always the case.

    A wife might say: “I know that it sounds desperate and needy. But I can not help it. Every time I talk to my separated husband, I tell him that I love him right before we hang up. I have done this for all the years that I have known him and old habits die hard. At the beginning of our separation, this seemed OK. But the last couple of times, I’ve noticed that he has hesitated before he gives a response. Last night, he didn’t say anything in response. I don’t mean to be dense. Obviously, he probably thinks that I am doing something wrong or he doesn’t want to hear me tell him that I love him during the separation. But not saying it feels like a lie. It feels like playing games or holding back. Am I supposed to pretend that I don’t love him? Because I find that ridiculous. I do love him. And it seems silly to me that I am not supposed to say it every day in the same way that I have for many years. Do I have to stop?”

    That is really up to you. I would never tell someone what to do during their marriage or during their separation. I can tell you what came to be my opinion as the result of a similar situation that I was in. But, I know that all situations are different. So I can’t say that what worked for me will work for you.

    But, during my own separation, it eventually became very clear that my husband was not receptive to me acting in the same way that I did while we were still happily married. When I tried to act as if we were any other married couple or that nothing was wrong, he would act distant or he would start to avoid me. If I pushed, it would get even worse and I would have to work very hard to even get him to take my calls. Frankly, there were times when I could almost literally feel him wince when I told him I loved him.

    As hard as it was to accept, I started to realize that if I didn’t change some things, I might be making this situation a whole lot worse. So I made a conscious decision to back off some. Did this mean I didn’t love my husband? No, if anything, I loved him just as much if not more. But I knew that if I was going to have a chance to maintain that love, I was going to have to find the strategy that brought him closer to me rather than pushing further away.

    And when I tried to push my love on to him, this definitely made him pull further away. So, I toned down my demonstrations and declarations of love. I told myself that this was only temporary, but it was difficult. Still, I knew what was most important was my long term goal and not my declarations of love in the moment.

    My backing off did eventually make things better because it eventually made my husband more receptive to me again. And his being receptive to me meant that we got to spend more time together – which never would have happened if I had continued on with my pushing.

    I can’t tell you what will work in your own situation. I can only suggest that if you notice something not working, then it sometimes makes sense to test out something else – if only once. Perhaps next time you talk to your husband and it is time to sign off, you might try something like: “tonight, I’m not going to insist that I love you, even though I do. I sense that it makes you uncomfortable. But I didn’t want you to think that I was angry or anything. I’m just trying to respect your wishes and not push.”

    At this point, your husband could reassure you that the loving phrases are fine. Or, he may not say anything – in which case his silence speaks volumes. If you do decide to back off and you find that the next time you talk, he seems more comfortable, then you may speculate that backing off a little has helped.

    I know that it might seem weird and almost dishonest to hold back with your own spouse. But a separation can be a very fragile time in a relationship – especially when one spouse has asked for space or isn’t sure what he wants. It become my opinion that if backing off a little is what it took for my husband to eventually be available to me, I was willing to pay that price at the time. Because I knew that it was part of a long-term strategy that was going to mean that I wouldn’t have to hold back once we reconciled.

    Today, I tell him that I love him all of the time, so holding off was worth it to me. And I believe it helped. But every situation is different. In some situations, both spouses are perfectly comfortable with still saying they love one another. And that’s wonderful. But it was not my reality. Still, if every one is happy, then I don’t see any reason to hold back.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

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  • What Can I Say To Make My Husband Understand The Pain That His Cheating Has Caused?

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    It’s very common from me to hear from wives who are struggling to explain to their husbands just how much his cheating or affair hurt them and caused them pain. But often, their husband doesn’t react in the way that they were hoping for and they are looking for a way to explain their feelings so that he actually understands them.

    I recently heard from a wife who said, in part: “I have repeatedly tried to explain to my husband the depth of and reasons for my pain after his infidelity, but he either doesn’t want to hear it or he’s not understanding what I’m saying. Sometimes, I pour my heart out to him and try to explain how he has hurt me and all I get is blank stare back or empty assurances that he really is trying. This is so frustrating to me because I need him to understand the extent of my pain so that I can have some reassurance that he’ll never cheat again. I want him to understand why I sometimes act in the way that I do because of what a grave mistake he has made. But part of me thinks that he’s unwilling or just incapable of hearing me. How can I explain my pain in a way that he’ll actually understand and be willing to listen?” I’ll address these concerns in the following article.

    Pick The Right Time And Know That, Once You Start Repeating Yourself, Your Words Lose Their Effectiveness: I hear from both wives who are faithful and husbands who are not on my blog and I can tell you that if you are constantly talking about your hurt and pain, eventually, even the most sincere husband will begin to tune you out. One reason for this is that no one wants to constantly be reminded of the pain that they have caused. And husbands will often want to place their focus on moving on while the wife wants to place her focus on understanding and digging a little deeper.

    This doesn’t necessarily mean that the husband doesn’t care about your pain or just doesn’t want to hear it. But, at least sometimes, he hears your words as accusations. He might constantly hear that his selfishness and weakness has hurt you deeply and this just isn’t a message that he wants to hear on a continual basis, day after day. Men will often give comments like “she constantly wants to tell me how much the infidelity has hurt her. I do believe and understand that and I’m sorry for it. But, do I really need or have to listen to what an awful person I am every single day? How many times does she need to explain where I went wrong or how awful I am before she will feel satisfied that she’s said it enough? I tell her I’m deeply sorry. I listen. But it doesn’t seem to be enough and we repeat this process constantly.”

    I’m not telling you this to imply that you can’t regularly discuss and try to work through the infidelity. I’m telling you this because I want you to understand the obstacles that are in your way and the dynamics that are at play here. If you really want your husband to listen and to take your words to heart, then sometimes you have to pick the right time and limit the message so that it has the maximum impact.

    Consider What Your Husband Is Actually Going To Hear Before You Say The Words: I alluded to this in the previous paragraph, but sometimes the message that your husband hears has more to do with your tone and your delivery than the words that you say. So you might say something like “your infidelity has hurt me deeply. It’s made me doubt your integrity and your love and commitment to me. It’s affected my self esteem and my level of trust. And I’m not sure when things are going to get any better.”

    But what he hears is often something more in line with: “your poor decision to cheat on me has ruined my life and will probably ruin our marriage. You are an awful, selfish person with very little impulse control. And your actions have caused me so much pain that I might not ever fully recover. Because of this, I am going to feel pain and resentment every time I look at you or even think of you. And, this is going to be our lot in life from this day on because I don’t anticipate any changes.”

    These examples might seem a little extreme, but they aren’t that far off from the comments that I hear. An unfaithful husband can hear a message that you never intended. And because of this, he is often somewhat resistant to that message. Of course, the wife will often take this to mean he isn’t listening or he just doesn’t care and so she will continue to repeat herself with more feeling. And of course, this just keeps the cycle going. She doesn’t feel heard and he feels beaten down and neither person is getting what they want or need.

    If you think about it, what you probably really want is to feel heard. You want for him to know, understand, (and even feel) your pain because if he does, he’s less likely to cheat again and more likely to show the remorse that so many of us really want and need. So, think about what’s most likely to accomplish this.

    You don’t want to come across as too accusatory or too despondent because unfortunately, these things will contribute to him feeling defensive and to tuning you out. Instead, you want to use “I” phrases so that it sounds as if you’re talking responsibility for your own feelings and you’re not just trying to lay on the blame or make him feel continuously guilty for the rest of his life. And, you want to choose the time when your message is most likely to be heard. You don’t want to try to explain yourself in the middle of a fight or when you’re main goal is to hurt him. I’ve found that the message is often more likely to be heard if you say it when things are going a little more positively and both people are calm.

    An Example Of What To Say To Express The Pain His Cheating Has Caused: An example would be something like: “if this is a good time, I’d like to briefly explain how much your infidelity has hurt me. I’m not doing this to punish you or to paint you as a horrible person. I love you and don’t think you’re an awful person, but I need to feel as though you care enough to hear me. And I need to know that you truly understand so that you will hesitate to cheat again. Having someone who you love more than anything betray you in this way is something that is more devastating and hurtful than I could have ever imagined. It calls into doubt things about your marriage and yourself that are just devastating. Can you even begin to put yourself in my shoes and imagine that the rolls were reversed? Because I need to know that you understand how much pain I’m in so that we can begin to move forward once and for all. I don’t intend to keep bringing this up, but before I move on, I need to know that you truly understand.”

    Phrasing like this is much more likely to get the response and the understanding that you are after. But you can only play this card so often before your husband begins to tune you out. So once you’ve laid your cards on the table, it’s best to begin to move forward so that your husband can see that you’re sincere about not using your words to continuously punish him.

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    Source by Katie Lersch

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  • How to Make Passive Income As an Affiliate Marketer

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    Searching for the perfect affiliate program

    1. Go for affiliate programs, which cover numerous niches. For instance, Amazon affiliate program covers just about all niches possible when it comes to eBooks, physical products and a lot more. On the other hand, you will find some places where you can sign up and they represent as the main affiliate for thousands of companies.
    1. Search for your favorite search engine and enter you niche and the affiliate program. For instance; singing + affiliate program. Then, you will be provided with some options in the singing niche.

    There are thousands of places marketers like you could be an affiliate, which includes online digital items at the same time places where you can sign up and get access to participate in private affiliate programs.

    So How can you Build Passive Income From Affiliate Marketing?

    The key here is very simple. Make a very simple yet a very efficient review product/website/group product. It is important that you learn some SEO and basic traffic generating technique.

    Does it work?

    With commitment, attitude and right training, expect that it will absolutely work for you. Remember that if this whole money-making thing is new to you, it is important that you do not distress yourself with making the website. For instance, if you have a business in a box-training, you could have your site up and running in just less than five minutes along with no skills or prior experience.

    Thus, let’s think that you have your own free site from a trusted and recommended source. Now, what are you going to do? Within the training you will talk more about the niche. You are aware that niche is the category, product, hobby and interest, etc. once you have a site about Golf umbrellas, then your niche would be Golf Umbrellas. Therefore, you could name your site something like Golfumbrellasforyou.com.

    Along with the training, it is better if you look forward a little. You should think about what your new site will look like. For instance, “Classic Golf umbrellas” as a section of the site, “Golf Umbrellas” for all gender for the next section, and more. In this way, you could plan on which keywords you will search for.

    How about the keywords?

    Keywords are the secret words, which only the keyword tools could tell. They are the words utilized by people in the Google Search. As an affiliate marketer your job is to know how many times every month someone searches for the phrases “What is the best golf umbrella” as a good example.

    With these steps on how to generate passive income, you should remember that it would take you some time and effort to achieve the best result. However, through commitment and passion in doing this, for sure you are not far from reaching that goal.

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    Source by Stephen Enis

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  • 70 Romantic Phrases That Make Men Fall Deeper In Love

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    Romantic communication is just one of the proven communication tools you can use to make your man fall madly in love and fulfill your heart’s romantic desires. There is a lot of love-creating power in the romantic words that come out of your mouth. This article will reveals 70 romantic phrases you can start using today to make your man fall madly in

    love. You may not say these things phrased exactly the way I have written them, but if you want your man to be addicted to your love, you must speak to him with words that will melt the walls he has build around his heart.

    Feel free to use any of the romantic phrases that best suit your communication style.

    1. All I care about is being with you forever.

    2. All the gold and diamond in the world are not enough to buy the love I have for you.

    3. God created you for just for me.

    4. I am addicted to your love.

    5. I am crazy about you.

    6. I cannot live without you.

    7. I cannot stop thinking about you.

    8. I did not mean to hurt your feelings.

    9. I do not want to wake up from this wonderful dream with you.

    10. I feel safe when I am with you.

    11. I get lost in ecstasy when you make love to me.

    12. I have finally discovered true love – you.

    13. I love talking to you.

    14. I love the way you make love to me.

    15. I miss your hugs and kisses when we are apart.

    16. I thank God for the day he brought you into my life.

    17. I want to spend forever with you.

    18. I will give anything to be with you.

    19. I will give you my heart, my body, and my soul.

    20. I will go with you to the ends of the world as long as you keep loving me.

    21. I will rather be broke than trade your love for a million dollars.

    22. I will travel a thousand miles to be with you.

    23. I wish God had brought you to me sooner.

    24. If anything happens to you, I will go crazy.

    25. If I could I would make love to you a thousand times.

    26. If I had to live life over again, I would live it with you.

    27. If loving you is a sin, then let me be guilty.

    28. If our love is blind, then I never want it to see the light of day.

    29. Life without you will be like going to sleep and never having sweet dreams.

    30. Loving you feels like heaven.

    31. Loving you has made life even sweeter.

    32. Loving you has made my life so full of joy and happiness.

    33. My heart cries when we are apart.

    34. You are my love, my heart, and my life.

    35. No man has loved me the way you love me.

    36. Nothing will ever stop me from loving you.

    37. Ooh sweetie, you are so good to me.

    38. Your warm hugs and your tender kisses are more precious than gold.

    39. Talking to you is like sipping the most delicious wine – I want it to last forever.

    40. The times we spend together are like precious gems that money cannot buy.

    41. Time stops when you hold me in your arms.

    42. When I am with you, my troubles seem to melt away.

    43. When I look at you I see a man that I find irresistible.

    44. Words are not enough to express how much I love you.

    45. You are my prince.

    46. You are my soul mate.

    47. You are the most important person in my life.

    48. You are the music that makes my heart sing.

    49. You are the only man I ever want in my life.

    50. You are the other half that makes me feel whole.

    51. You are the perfect man for me.

    52. You are the sweetest man I know.

    53. You bring nothing but love, peace, joy, and happiness to my soul.

    54. You bring so much joy and happiness to my life.

    55. You love me gently.

    56. You make me feel like a woman.

    57. You make me feel so good I want to kiss you from your head to your toe.

    58. You make me want you more each day.

    59. You treat me like a princess and I love you with all my heart.

    60. Your are the kindest man I know.

    61. Your caring words touch the deepest part of me.

    62. Your hugs and kisses melt my heart like chocolate ice cream on a warm summer day.

    63. Your kisses are like warm chocolate on a cold winter night.

    64. Your kisses are so good I feel tingles all over.

    65. Your love is like a solid rock that will never break.

    66. Your love is so good I can’t get away even if I wanted to.

    67. Your love warms my heart like the glow of a candle light in a midsummer night’s dream.

    68. Your loving whispers in a moon-lit night are like soothing wine, they put me in the mood.

    69. Your smile is so comforting it makes my tears go away.

    70. Your gentle touch sends chills up and down my spine.

    Life without endearing words is like being in a garden without flowers. Endearing words create a feeling that transcends our reality and makes life worth living.

    Feel free to to share this article with all your friends.

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    Source by Steve Ubah

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