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  • Emotional Self: Do Some People's Childhoods Set Them Up Disconnect From Their Emotional Self?

    Emotional Self: Do Some People's Childhoods Set Them Up Disconnect From Their Emotional Self?

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    Although human beings are made up of many different selves, such as an intellectual and an emotional self, it doesn't mean that everyone on this planet is in touch with each of these selves. If someone is in touch with each part of themselves, it could be said that they will be operating as a whole human being.

    One will be able to think clearly and they will be in touch with their feelings. Through being this way, it will be possible for them to not only perform a certain job well, they will also be able to form deeper connections with others.

    One Benefit

    This is because their emotional self will be what allows them to truly connect with others, whereas their intellectual self alone is not going to allow this to take place. Furthermore, their emotional self will also provide them with guidance.

    So, when it comes to whether or not they should do something or if they should say yes or no, for instance, this part of them will give them the information that they need. This part of them will tell them what their needs are.

    It Doesn't Stop

    One way of looking at this would be to say that their emotional self is their inner guidance system. No matter what time of the day it is or where they are, this part of them will always be there.

    To live a fulfilling life, it will be essential for them to listen to this part of them and to utilize the information that it provides. Going against this part of them is only going to cause them to suffer unnecessarily.

    Off Track

    If one was to look back on their life, they may see that there have been times when they have ignored this part of themselves. Consequently, it might not have been long until they paid the price.

    Then again, there may have been a time in their life when this was just how their life was, meaning that ignoring themselves was normal. They are then going to be only too familiar with what it is like to ignore this part of themselves.

    Inner Directed

    Being this way doesn't mean that one will completely overlook other people needs; what it means is that they won't be interested in living a life where they ignore their needs and are totally consumed with other people's needs. Putting their own needs to one side from time to time is going to be radically different to always doing this.

    Also, being connected to how they feel doesn't mean that they will constantly be expressing how they feel, either. They will realize that there is a time to express how they feel and a time to keep how they feel to themselves, containing what is taking place within them.

    Another Reality

    If someone isn't in touch with their emotional self, only having a connection to their intellectual self, they are not going to be operating as a whole human being. As a result of this, they probably won't have a very good connection with their body.

    There is then the chance that they won't have trouble thinking clearly, but that it will be a challenge for them to connect to how they feel and to know what their needs are. When they are at work they could be fine, yet when they are around others, it could be a different story.

    Unaware

    Due to being out of touch with their emotional self, their connections with others are unlikely to be very deep. And if they are in a relationship, their partner could often tell them that they are distant and even emotionally unavailable.

    Still, one could be out of touch with this part of themselves and not even realize it. There can then be moments when they feel empty, and they may see that they don't feel strongly connected to anyone, but it doesn't mean that they will look into what is going on.

    Enough is enough

    If someone like this was to get to the point where living in this way was too painful, no longer wanting to feel cut off from themselves, others or even numb, they could end up looking into what is going on. What they could find out is that the reason they are experiencing life in this way is because they have experienced trauma.

    Disconnecting from their body, along with their emotional self in the process, was a way for them to survive what happened to them. Thus, in the same way that they would leave an environment if it was dangerous, they left their body as it was too painful for them to inhabit it.

    In The Past

    This may relate to what they have been through as an adult or it could go back to what took place during their early years. If it goes back to their early years, there is the chance that they were abused and / or neglected.

    This would have been a time when they were not equipped to deal with a lot of pain, yet their whole system would have felt overwhelmed on a daily / weekly basis. The only way for them to handle this pain would have been to leave their body.

    Awareness

    What kept them alive as a child is now going to be making their life harder than it needs to be. Even so, this is not to say that one should try to dive into their body and to deal with the pain that is there.

    For one thing, this approach could end up overwhelming them, but, as they have been out of touch with their body for so many years, it is highly unlikely that they will just be able to get back in there. Getting back in touch with this part of them can take a little while, irrespective of how committed they are.

    If one can relate to this, and they want to become an integrated human being, they will probably need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

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    Source by Oliver JR Cooper

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  • Relationships: Is Your Emotional State Controlled By Other People's Moods?

    Relationships: Is Your Emotional State Controlled By Other People's Moods?

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    As to whether or not it is a good idea for someone to go along with another person's emotional state can all depend on what state they are in. If this person is happy, embracing the same state is likely to have a positive effect on ones wellbeing.

    On the other hand, if this person is angry or even miserable, embracing this state is unlikely to do them any good. There are then going to be times when it will be a good idea for one to allow their emotional state to mimic another person's emotional state and times when it won't.

    Emotional Contagion

    However, even though this is the case, one may find that there are times when they are unable to control how they feel. Ergo, irrespective of what is going on for another person, they will end up being drawn in.

    This is not going to be a problem if another person is in a good place, but it will be if they are not. When it comes to the latter, it might be necessary for one to get away from the other person.

    A Time and A Place

    This doesn't mean that one should get away from someone if they are going through a tough time. The reason for this is that there will be times when another person won't be in a good way and it will be a good idea for them to offer their support.

    Someone in this person's life may have passed on, putting them in a very low place. Ones mood can then drop during this time, but shortly after their time together has come to an end, it should return to how it was.

    Boundaries

    Undoubtedly, having the ability to connect to another person's mood is going to have a positive effect on their relationships. At the same time, being able to maintain their state will also allow them to act like an individual.

    If they didn't have this ability, they would end up acting as though they were simply an extension of other people. Instead of being able to assert themselves, they would be at the whim of other people's moods.

    The Truth

    Just because someone else is not in a good place or is very angry, for instance, it doesn't mean that one should join them. Ultimately, there is no need for them to feel responsible for what another person is going through; that is, of course, unless they have played a part in what is going on for them.

    And if the other person takes responsibility for what they are going through, they won't expect one to act like they have played a part. This can show that the other person also has well defined boundaries.

    A Different Reality

    Not everyone is going to be able to relate to this, which means that there will be people that find it hard to maintain their emotional state around others. Thus, instead of being able to act like an individual, they can act as though they are just an extension of others.

    If they are able to maintain their emotional state, it may only be due to the fact that another person's emotional state is the same. The other person will provide them with the permission that they need in order to experience the same feelings.

    Walking On Egg Shells

    It is likely to be a challenge for them to assert themselves around others; their primary concern will be to tune into what someone else is experiencing. Deep down, they could believe that it is not safe for them to express who they are.

    So like a waiter who does their best to make sure that everyone is happy; it will ones job to make sure that other people are happy. For some reason, they will believe that they are responsible for how other people feel.

    Dysfunctional Relationships

    Some of the people in their life may lack boundaries, causing them to blame one for how they feel. But as one also lacks boundaries, they are going to just put up with this kind of behavior.

    If they are in an intimate relationship, they may find it hard to relax around their partner. Being focused on what is taking place externally will be a way for them to try to predict when their partner is going to lose their temper, making it easier for them to handle what happens.

    A Closer Look

    Doing what they can to please others is going to be what feels comfortable, yet it is going to cause them to hide their true-self. If one was to take a step back and to reflect on how long their life has been this way for, they may come to the realization that what is taking place in their adult life is a continuation of what took place during their early years.

    At this stage of their life, they may have had at least one caregiver who was emotionally unpredictable. As a result of this, they wouldn't have been able to relax into their body and to listen to their own needs; they would have had to live on edge and to focus on what was taking place externally.

    Undeveloped

    This caregiver may have blamed other people for how they felt, too, and this would have set one up to believe that they were responsible for whether or not they were happy. The care that one needed wouldn't have been provided, with them acting more like a caregiver than a child.

    Consequently, one will have poor boundaries and have a weak connection with their inner world. Developing boundaries and getting in touch with their true-self will be an essential part of their healing process.

    Awareness
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    If one can relate to this, and they want to transform their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

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    Source by Oliver JR Cooper

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