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  • Mercury Retrograde As Healing

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    Oh no! Mercury retrograde! Well… not so fast.

    It happens every time Mercury goes retrograde (the effect that makes the planet appear to travel backwards in the sky). Things go wrong-well, thanks a lot mercury retrograde. It’s an ingrained response. And it reveals a not-so-hidden problem (if a generally ignored one).

    Mercury, of course, doesn’t really go backwards – it simply appears to do so from our perspective on Earth. And that’s the heart of the matter – perception. We see an elliptical orbit from our own elliptical spinning. It distorts reality.

    You know this, of course, and that “mercury retrograde” refers to the astrological energetic correspondence. But consider – what is simply an ongoing cycle is perceived as ups and downs. It’s neither. It just is, a fundamental reality.

    And that’s the problem with “my current troubles are because mercury is retrograde.” No, they’re not. Rather, mercury retrograde is shining a light on fundamental problems. Literally – the foundation is lacking, creating the perception that problems have abruptly come about that were actually a long time coming.

    There’s disruption – True. But the fault isn’t negative energy.

    I had a strained conversation with my dad. My partner said something dismissive. My muscles are sore and stiff. And I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed. Mercury retrograde, right? (And let’s not forget the annoying slow Internet speed). I even blew up a wheelbarrow tire yesterday, just pumping air back into it after it went flat.

    The problems here, though, are fundamental. My dad and I have had awkward conversations for years. My partner and I have busy schedules and don’t always communicate well. Instead of rotating cardio, weights, and swimming at the gym, I did all three one day, then stacked firewood the next. My schedule is too packed, and I already knew that three months ago (will be better shortly). The Internet is often slow here (trying to get a new provider to come in). And the tire was ancient.

    Foundations build potentials – constant yang eventually fails.

    Yin energy is about potential. Before I undertake strenuous physical tasks, I have to build up over time. Before I can have open conversation when topics are difficult, I have to build trust and connection over time. Before I can enjoy fast services, I need the supporting infrastructure in place. Tires don’t last forever, and need to be inspected and maintained. And schedules packed tight don’t work.

    We’re mainly all about the yang energy. But just like mercury, it travels in circular motion (and not in a straight line and then back, however it might appear). We push and strive and force and stubbornly persist, working against nature herself, thinking we have to do so, but fooling only ourselves.

    Research shows multi-tasking is a myth (we can do both tasks separately faster than both together). “Overwhelmed” is an over-reaction we invented for dramatic effect (“whelmed” means exactly the same thing). And no matter how far you need to drive, you’ll have to stop and get fuel. Vehicle maintenance is a good idea too. If not – you’ll be sitting at the side of the road.

    Healing can’t be all yang (if you want to remain healthy)

    No one ever says: “Hey, I’d like to work on the fundamental pieces creating the health, emotional, and spiritual challenges I’m facing. Ever. Instead, it’s mostly “can you just do a session and fix this?” Frankly, sometimes yes, that can happen, but that’s not ultimately the best approach.

    Trees grow extensive root systems before branching into leafy canopies – or they’d fall at the first strong wind. Busy successful and happy people don’t “find” time to meditate-they know that an hour of focus in the morning is the reason for their continued happiness and success. Schedules can be more organic and realistic by making choices and delegating (“but I have to do these things because no one else can” is a lie we all tell ourselves). And 1 in 25 people never get sick, their entire lives – because they understand (and continually practice) balance.

    That’s why to pursue more than straight healing sessions

    Self-healing, integrating levels of being, getting unstuck, building effective meditation practice, understanding and overcoming long-term pain, overcoming emotional challenges, the 12 keys to healing-these essential building blocks help you learn to live in wholeness and ongoing health – including thriving in spiritual balance.

    Some people do monthly combination programs, so they can benefit from both healing sessions and program material to heal and to maintain their health, their mental and emotional peace and balance, and to best show up in the world to thrive as the beautiful people they always were and were meant to be.

    Because Mercury doesn’t travel back and forth on a straight line. And neither does healing. For ongoing health and progress, you must master circular effort.

    So thank Mercury for the reminder. Then turn your attention to fundamentals.

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    Source by Tim Emerson

    Views: 0

  • Addiction To Unrequited Love

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    The Torchbearer – S/he will love me one day

    It sounds silly for one to be addicted to unrequited love, but it can sometimes be the result of growing up in a household where love was either conditional or not consistent. As a child, the “torchbearer,” may have been always trying to win the love, praise or affection from a parent (or someone else influential) who was unavailable, abusive or failed to provide proper nurturing…. or the child could have witnessed one parent in a sort of unrequited love relationship with the other and could have taken that energy on. If it wasn’t an issue of childhood environment, then possibly some sort of other trauma occurred to upset the torchbearer’s self-esteem and their ability to feel safe receiving love. It can also result from a sudden and unexpected separation, betrayal, health, or appearance issue.

    At an existential level, the torchbearer may have developed a belief that they are not worthy of love and they may find themselves attracted to love situations that seem to keep them stuck in this dynamic: loving someone, but not able to fully receive love back. Although the person feels unworthy of love on some level, often they know they are worthy on another level, which the torchbearer then may become confused as to why they stay addicted to an unavailable person. The relationship then becomes about fantasy, idealization, avoidance, or a love-hate relationship ensues where the addict both loves and disapproves of the object of their devotion.

    According to love addiction expert Susan Peabody, the main categories of love addictions include:

    • obsessed love addicts: obsess and can’t let go even if their partners are unavailable or abusive
    • codependent love addiction: needy to please partner for sense of self
    • narcissistic love addicts: take advantage of their partner and can act disinterested, selfish or abusive and yet still feel addicted to partner and can’t let go
    • ambivalent love addicts: this category includes unrequited love addicts (also known as “torch-bearers”), saboteurs, seductive withholders, and romance addicts. The main goal through this kind of love addiction is the avoidance of true deep emotional intimacy and bonding. These addicts crave love and affection, but are afraid to get too close at the same time.

    Unrequited love addicts are part of the category of Ambivalent Love Addicts. Susan Peabody was the first to create the term “Ambivalent Love Addiction”. Her book “Addiction to Love: Overcoming Obsession and Dependency in Relationships,” is an amazing book for anyone wishing to learn more about love addiction.

    To be an ambivalent love addict, or torchbearer, means that one deeply craves love, intimacy, commitment, and unconditional love. However, at the same time, one has fears of relating deeply to another person. Such love addicts can end up pushing love away or holding it at a distance. Subconsciously, it can feel much safer for these individuals to love someone who isn’t fully there or who doesn’t want a full-on commitment. Picking an individual who is married, committed to another, distant, a player, a saboteur, or a sex addict may act to help the torchbearer avoid a true relationship. Some torchbearers end up addicted to friends or colleagues and hope the relationship will become something more.

    With many of the torchbearers that I have read, I find there is usually an excuse to continue chasing the love interest. However, there is also always a counterproductive excuse for never letting the love interest know their real feelings. It is even possible that if the object of infatuation actually returned affection or expressed desire for commitment towards the love addict, the love addict might not crave the interest anymore. One popular excuse that I have heard reads something like: “getting what I wanted or asked for took too long, therefore I no longer trust the love interest anymore, so I no longer want a relationship.” Once the love interest gives up, separation anxiety sets in again. Why does this occur? An illusion has been broken and the person idolized has become more human and less of a challenge to the ego.

    The torchbearer runs the risk that even if they obtain the object of their desire they may not achieve the closeness or intimacy they desire unless they change why they were addicted in the first place. Sometimes the addiction simply changes. An addict may transform from a torchbearer into a seductive withholder. They can even start becoming a codependent love addict if the once unrequited love relationship begins to become real.

    So, how do you know if you are addicted to unrequited love?

    What are the symptoms? The symptoms listed below are not comprehensive, but ones I typically see with clients (usually women):

    • Do you obsess over or find yourself only attracted to love interests who are not available in some way or who are married, playing you, who are “just friends,” or have left you?
    • Do you fear communication or to let the person know your interest in them, feelings, and other basic questions for fear of rejection or to keep the fantasy going? Or do you find yourself communicating but unable to accept a lack of response or a non-commital response without hoping if you wait long enough you will be wholly wanted?
    • Do you suffer in silence while you hold adoration towards someone who doesn’t really know? Some unrequited love addicts pursue their interests opening and ardently, but others can hold torches for people who they will not let themselves get close to nor let themselves be revealed in any real way.
    • Do you expect your love interest to be psychic/empathic and to just know and interpret your feelings and needs, even though there has been no grounded communication? Are you living out your relationship psychically or vicariously through “signs” or empathic feelings that the other person may be thinking about you, even if there is no contact?
    • Do you find yourself always hoping and waiting for the other person to make an interest in you known?
    • Can you never feel “close” in a real way to the person you are holding a torch for?
    • Are you always living out the relationship in your head?
    • Are you continually asking yourself many questions, wondering about the other person feelings and intentions (or potential future intentions) without ever grounding anything to test to see if any fantasies are real?
    • Do you have other addictions, such as to sex, psychics, alcohol etc?
    • Do you feel you cannot let go of the love interest even though it is not making you feel loved? Do feel powerless to stop at will.
    • Is the preoccupation with this interest having a more negative affect on you spiritually, financially and other ways than positive? In the end, are you losing more than you gain?
    • Do you have a history of being hurt or obsessing on lack of love, attention or approval by a parent or someone else influential in your earlier life?
    • For those with less intense expressions of this addiction: are you confused why you only seem to attract or are attracted to unavailable people or people who are not 100% wanting a relationship? And with this, do you feel bored with people who are into you or once a relationship starts to develop? Does it seem that all the people who would be right and loving towards you, you cannot “fall in love” with?

    If you have an “interest” that you crave but are afraid to reach out to in any real and genuine way for fear of rejection, then you might be addicted to unrequited love. You may also be addicted if there is an underlying knowledge that expressing your wants and needs would not be appropriate. I’ve talked to many clients who are totally engaged with these types of interests, sometimes even sexually. But, usually they know on some level there are certain things they cannot ask/dare put forward cause the relationship is casual though they want something more. Though the “craving” is not always required, this article is mostly written for the hard core unrequited love addict.

    Here is an example of one kind of non-communicative unrequited love addict who does have some relationship and interaction with her love interest:

    A woman starts to like an attractive man. They meet and there is some flirting — the man seems interested to the woman. Information is exchanged followed by mixed signals that mark the relationship. The woman starts obsessing and fantasizing about having a relationship with the man. However, the man won’t make a clear move and the woman ends up doing most of the contacting to keep interaction ongoing. The woman acts casual because she wants the man to make his interest known first. She is getting some cues of affection and indication of interest, but it’s kept superficial and she is always unsure. This goes on for some time, sometimes months, and she starts thinking “Does this guy really want a relationship or am I just casual or a friend?” Despite feeling a sense of unknowing and distress, the woman will never risk asking to find out. She starts asking advice from other friends who tell her to forget about the man, but she hangs on in hope he will ask for a real date or commitment or show he cares.

    The man is simply not putting out vibe of wanting a full-on relationship. However, she starts to fantasize that maybe he is just scared, can’t communicate or is insecure. She fantasizes that he will start to be more demonstrative or want something more if she can just hang in or never upset the status quo. She even wonders, “should I say something or make a move”, but something inside is telling her it’s not safe to tell this person how she feels because they are not on the same page, so she withholds keeps holding a torch for this person. She finds out the man has started to pursue someone else and she feels upset and feels betrayed. But, still, she has never had clear indication they are in a “relationship.”

    In the worst cases of unrequited love addiction I have seen, the client is addicted to psychics, using spell casters to cast spells to make their love more available, or are even asking for healing sessions on the person they are addicted to hoping healing something in their love interest will change the reality of what is going on.

    What Can You Do If This Sounds Like You?

    Often, I see two main themes running in these relationships: fear of true communication (or fear of accepting a communication or lack there of), and fear of vulnerability & rejection. Many times I also recommend torchbearers learn how to set boundaries and how to respect others boundaries. If the torchbearer is holding on waiting for a “sign” or demonstration from the love object, afraid of giving up, learning communication would help with getting out of fantasizing a relationship and making it more real. In the least, the torchbearer can get closure, if the love addict’s desires are not reciprocated.

    Getting closure isn’t always an easy thing for a love addict. It is often considered to be a harsh rejection. Many frightened unrequited love addicts wish to avoid being hurt at all costs. However, with this cost, these love addicts avoid true intimacy and relationships.

    Most unrequited love clients I work with have a shut down throat chakra. They may have been raised or learned through some experience that expressing feelings or needs is a burden on others, a sign of weakness, inferiority or something to be afraid of. Codependent types are afraid to cause any sort of confrontation or rejection for themselves. However, the only way out is through. The crux is that this dynamic is used to avoid another hurt or rejection and this continues the cycle of avoiding true commitment, intimacy and bonding.

    Step 1: Communication With Yourself

    The first step is for the torchbearers to ask themselves what they truly want from a relationship. What is their vision of how they want to be loved and committed to? This step may be one of the hardest. The unrequited love addict may be so used to avoiding confrontation that asking them to figure out what they want and need seems strange. Torchbearers ask themselves “How do I get someone who doesn’t care to do so? How can I be better? More lovable?” Simply leaving an unrequited love may not solve the problem either. It may just transfer the love addiction from one of pursuing the unrequited love interest to holding a torch and suffering in silence while pining after the loss. They may remain stuck, wondering if maybe this person is still missing them or thinking of them and it gives them hope for reconciliation.

    Step 2: Communication With Your Love Interest

    If communication is possible to ask for closure, this is the next step. I recommend asking in direct ways and not just looking for “signs.” State what you want out of love and a relationship, and ask the object of your affection if they feel they will ever be able to give it. Risk hearing the truth and risk rejection. This helps break the fantasy and though may be incredibly painful, it is the next step towards risking true intimacy and attracting the right relationship and breaking through all the fears that prevent it from coming. The whole idea of love addiction is the belief that without love one is nothing. If one can risk losing love and still see themselves as whole, then one can start going into relationships with sense of self as a sole identity which another can complement, rather than feeling another will complete them.

    Fear of intimacy (getting to know someone deeply), commitment, communication, rejection, boundaries, and confrontation needs to be challenged. Love addicts can also seem like perpetual victims or trauma junkies. So healing the need to be a victim is key too.

    Taking on the challenge of learning to set boundaries, risk confrontation and rejection, to communicate ones wants and needs (and listening to another’s – which this might be the real fear) may seem overwhelming. But, it is the only way out. All of this should be targeted, in addition to working on childhood issues, which implanted some of these fears and patterns.

    Step 3: Accepting What Is Communicated Back or Any Lack Of A Response

    Sometimes, the love addict at this stage may have been totally clear with their love interest what they want and they still feeling or receiving mixed signals. The person of their infatuation may be ambivalent, stringing them along, or afraid to just be honest and give them the closure they need. Sometimes there may be a lack of response — ie: an email is sent to the love object who appears to be avoiding sending a response back. In these cases, aim for setting a boundary for yourself on how long you will wait for what you need and stick to it. Be willing to recognize when you need to either end a relationship or at least bring it down to a more casual and detached level while you pursue other options.

    For those who find they are always making clear what they want and are still waiting to receive it or feeling unheard, the lesson may be in knowing when its time to stop voicing your needs and wants realizing they will not be met or cared for. Just affirm to yourself as much as you can that you can and are willing to find someone who can meet your wants and needs.

    Step 4: Changing and Challenging One’s Views on Love

    I also recommend changing how one views love. There is something self-absorbed in all the withholding and holding on. It is focused on fear and self-protection instead of love or generosity and true interest in another person and their needs and feelings. Many love addicts actually fool themselves into thinking their co-dependence is proof that they are being more loving than anything else. However, love is about extending and exposing oneself in the face of rejection and providing a safe and open place for someone else to extend and expose themselves. Love is not manipulative, wanting to change people or situations or waiting for such situations or people to change.

    Love is not about being a martyr either. If you can’t take a risk to know anyone else or have them tell you their wants and needs, or accept or listen when they are not on the same page, how can you expect someone to care and listen concerning your own wants and needs?

    Not all unrequited love addicts are afraid to state their wants, needs, and boundaries. But, often what can happen is the torchbearer is always stating needs and boundaries and they are not listening to what is being conveyed back. They keep hoping the love object will change, mature, or outgrow his detached stance.

    A Few Self-Help Healing Tools

    While one can always benefit from professional therapies, coaching, and alternative healing sessions geared towards transmuting thought patterns, there are a few healing tools that can be used to assist recovery from love addictions (feel free to look for others as I only mention a few here).

    If one has ever used “flower essences” before (a form of homeopathy), Australian Bush Flower Essences (www.abfeusa.com for more information) has a “Relationship Essence” which contains the following:

    • Boab: helps bring change, helps clears negative core patterns that are rooted in family and which are inherited. Can also help clear negative lines of karma that exist between individuals and past life influence.
    • Bluebell: is for those who cut themselves off from their feelings and helps to open the heart and to disolve greed and rigidity. Emotions are present but withheld and there is even fear of expressing positive emotions such as joy and love, etc through operation of fear that there is just not enough and they can’t survive if they let go of all they hold onto.
    • Bottlebrush: helps one to resolve mother issues and helps one embrace major life changes. It brushes away the past allowing individuals to move on and go forward.
    • Bush Gardenia: helps one to renew passion and interest in relationships. Helps with intimacy, and resolving where there is too much self-interest or lack of awareness in a partnership.
    • Dagger Hakea: Is for helping on to release resentments, bitterness and grudges.
    • Flannel Flower: is for those who fear emotional or physical intimacy, getting too close and who have a hard time maintaining personal boundaries. Helps one to garner trust to express ones innermost feelings.
    • Red Helmet Orchid: Helps for resolving father issues, probelms with confrontation or authority.
    • Red Suva Frangipani: Is for the rocky relationship that is challenged and is also for resolving deep sense of loss and sadness when a relationship is in trouble or has ended. Helps to heal that feeling of Wedding Bush: Is for issues with commitment to a relationship, job, goal etc. It can be used for individuals who tend to flit from one relationship to another, or for those who leave relationships when the crush phase or initial attraction has diminished.

    A book I highly recommend is Addiction to Love: Overcoming Obsession and Dependency in Relationships by Susan Peabody (co-founder of LAA).

    Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is another tool that can help with love addictions. EFT can be easy to learn for free from demonstrations on YouTube or free downloads on various sites.

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    Source by Mandy Peterson

    Views: 0

  • Sex As a Natural Treatment For Gout

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    I wanted to laugh when I first came across this rather ridiculous suggestion on some of the online sources about natural treatments for gout. After the initial state of skepticism, I decided to do some study about this interesting topic about having sex as a natural treatment for gout.

    Well, it must somehow works on some of the gout patients until this method is widely spread as one of the treatment option for gout. Some people think it works, but they just cannot explain how it works on reducing the inflammation and pain of the notorious gout attacks. Before I explain how to have good sex as one of the method of treating your gout, you must first understand the chemistry of sex.

    We all know about the temptation and good feelings that good sex gives us. That is part of our natural instinct, and having a healthy sex life plays an important role in maintaining the well being of our body and mind.

    Scientists call sex as a melting pot of the soup of bio-chemicals, the hormones. This scientific statement may somehow kills away some of the romantic side of sex, but whatever you feel as the result of sex can actually be explained by simple science. It is not a matter of what happens between your legs, it is about the chemical reactions happen between your ears.

    There are a few vital hormones that contribute the pleasures (and pain relief) we feel during sexual intercourse. It starts with dopamine, which is one of the brain’s pleasure chemicals. Dopamine is released in the ‘reward centre’ of the brain when we see something that arouses our desire, such as good food and attractive partner. Dopamine increases the pulse rate and cardiac functions which result in the ‘blushing’ effect in some people.

    During sexual orgasm, your brain will push the amount of dopamine to the max and then bring it down right after the climax with the release of prolactin which prevents you from over indulge in the rush of dopamine. Prolactin rises sharply immediately after orgasm and it is what gives you the “full” feeling after your intimate moment. Prolactin disengages you from sex after orgasm and makes room for your mind to think of other things besides the naked person lying next to you.

    Beside the roller coaster ride of dopamine, there are two other sex related neurotransmitters that contribute to the whole sensation of sex. Oxytocin, which is also known as the “cuddling hormone” is a hormone secreted by the pituitary gland when you feel the affection to someone you love dearly. Oxytocin helps in creating a strong bond between you and your lover.

    Oxytocin stimulates the production of endorphin which is the ‘happy neuro chemical’ that produces the feelings of ecstasy and pleasure. Endorphins fill you with a sense of well-being and relaxation, and sometimes might even drift you off to sleep. Endorphin has a similar chemical structure of morphine and that explains why it has the pain relief effects.

    The quality of you sex life determine the levels of the above mentions hormones in your body. If you want to have sex as a treatment for gout, you must know how to ‘control’ the release of those hormones.

    The best guideline is to increase the amount of oxytocin and endorphin as much as you can while minimize the fluctuation of dopamine and prolactin. Since oxytocin and endorphin are more emotionally related, so it is good to practice longer lasting sensual experiences with your lover instead of a lustful release of desire.

    Make love, not sex. Those pain and stress relief hormones are hidden in your brain not your sex organ. Cultivate the right feelings and emotions with your love ones by having romantic foreplay and delay the ejaculation for as long as you can while making sure both of you enjoy the pleasure of sex.

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    Source by Heemen Ee

    Views: 0

  • How to Uncover Your MLM Prospect’s Motivation

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    When talking to a MLM prospect or a new team member it is vitally important to discover their primary motivating factor. What makes them want to join your business? Or if they have already joined why did they join?

    In order for anybody to succeed in MLM they must have a big enough “Why” – why did they join? What is it that they are trying to achieve? It’s all well & good if they say “financial freedom” is their goal, but what exactly does that mean to them, & why is it so important to them? After all, the phrase “financially free” can mean a multitude of things to different people. Some people may think they have achieved financial freedom if they have their mortgage paid for along with their monthly expenditure such as utility bills & groceries. However others will think they have achieved financial freedom when they can travel the world first class, never look at the prices on menus when eating at top class restaurants or the price tags on clothes. To others it would be sending their kids to private school & not having to worry about not having enough money to provide a roof over their heads.

    Of course it’s not always about money it could be that money is not a problem but time is, time to spend with the kids, time to take a relaxing break, time to take their partner out for a nice dinner…

    Without knowing what motivates your MLM prospect or new team member you cannot help them reach their goals. I’ve mentioned this in other articles, if you help enough people get what they want then you will get what you want, but how do you do this if you don’t know what it is that they “want”?

    In his book “Questions are The Answers” Allan Pease* describes a great method to find out people’s primary motivating factor. Ask your prospect or new team member “do you know why people start a Networking Business”? If they say “No” then you simply say “let me show you”. If they say “yes” you ask them to tell you why, listen to what they have to say & when they have finished you ask “any more” They will say “no” then you say “let me show you” and you produce the following list;

    Extra Income

    Financial Freedom

    Have Own Business

    More Spare Time

    Personal Development

    Helping Others

    Meeting New People

    Retirement

    Leave a Legacy

    Then ask them the following questions;

    1. WHAT IS YOUR NUMBER 1 PRIORITY?

    2. WHY DID YOU PICK THAT ONE?

    3. WHY IS THAT IMPORTANT TO YOU?

    4. WHAT ARE THE CONSEQUENCES OF NOT HAVING THAT OPPORTUNITY?

    5. WHY WOULD THAT WORRY YOU?

    Make sure after every question that you listen to what they have to say without interruption or comment, just go through the questions one after the other in the order above. When you have finished you will have identified their primary motivation.

    You can now tailor the rest of your talk to describe how your MLM opportunity can help them get exactly, what it is that they want. Don’t be surprised if some people become emotional when going through the above questions, after all you are delving deep into what is important to these people & what motivates them. The reasons are often very personal & so some people will inevitably become emotional.

    Finding out someone’s primary motivating factor is essential if you want to help them build a successful MLM Business, if you fail in establishing their “why” then it is very unlikely that you can help them & in turn yourself to succeed.

    *Questions are the Answers by Allan Pease, Published by Manjul.

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    Source by John Mac

    Views: 0

  • Multi Level, Affiliate, Joint Venture, or Network Marketing: What’s the Difference?

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    Have you been online and noticed all the ads and “hoopla” about Multi Level Marketing, Affiliate Marketing, or Joint Venture (JV) Marketing and wondering what the difference is? These three terms alone are everywhere, especially when it comes to making revenue online, and are synonymous with the term Network Marketing, where we all “network” with each other to make sales conversions.

    There are many terms and confusing explanations. Here’s my view.

    Multi Level Marketing may also be called Direct Sales Companies. A few of these that come to mind are companies like, Amway, Mary Kay, thirty-one, and Tupperware. These companies build their businesses by recruiting sales associates, or independent consultants, to join the “team” under them.

    The associates in turn recruit others to sell the products, and recruit consultants likewise. Their commissions are paid on a tiered scale. The amount of your pay depends on the place you’re at in the company and how many recruits you have under you. The higher your level in the company the more percentage of commissions you take on your sales and on the associates under you.

    Some may get the MLM confused with a pyramid. Here’s the difference: MLM’s have a legitimate product to sell you, and have low enrollment fees; a pyramid has high enrollment fees, and does not have a product to sell you. Plus, pyramids are illegal.

    Affiliate Marketing brings to mind companies like Amazon, ClickBank, Google AdSense. These type of companies have established sites with vendors already in place, where you can sign up as an affiliate, promote vendor products and be compensated for it.

    Joint Venture products brings to mind companies like Dow Corning (Dow Chemicals and Corning), Sony Ericsson (Sony Corporation and Ericsson Mobile Phones). With JV marketing you are joining with a partner to develop and/or promote a product. Another term that is used is “co-venturing.” These companies share expenses, revenues and assets.

    Some say that MLM’s, Affiliate and JV Marketing are the same. I feel that there is a slight difference between the three. Again, here’s my view.

    To recap:

    • With MLM’s you are recruiting associates, or consultants under you, while selling products.
    • With Affiliate Marketing you are taking a product that has already been developed and are helping someone else promote it, while sharing commissions on the sold product.
    • With JV Marketing you are joining with a partner to develop, promote, and sell your product, while sharing expenses, revenues and assets.
    • These can all fall into Network Marketing because you can “network” with others to bring about your results.

    Whichever marketing strategy you use is all up to your individual preference and gifts. Now that you know the differences, find the ones you like, and start generating your revenue! There are more opportunities than you can imagine.

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    Source by BG Jenkins

    Views: 0

  • What Is a Relationship Mission Statement

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    RELATIONSHIP VISION

    Aligning values in relationships is a good thing to do intentionally. Think about how most people go through relationships. Does one person give up important values for the other? Is there conflict in the relationship? These things usually happen when values and beliefs aren’t talked about and don’t align with each other. Most conflicts in any relationship is due to differing values or beliefs. After all if we all agreed on what is most important there would be no need to argue. A Relationship Mission Statement can help!

    WE ALL COME FROM DIFFERENT BACKGROUNDS

    Think about how you grew up, your environment, money, food, school and so many other things. Did you partner grow up the same? Did your parents teach you different lessons regarding TV, meals, religion, or friends then you partner? We all bring expectations into our relationships but most likely they aren’t the same for each of us. So why do we think things are supposed to magically work out without talking about it, creating goals, or aligning values. Eventually if the bumps can’t be smoothed out then couples tend to search for someone like me. This is not a bad thing, seeing a professional can be incredibly helpful and restore the peace and longevity of your relationship.

    CHECKING IN WITH YOUR PARTNER

    For now let me provide you a simple way to check in with each other, communicate, and look at the future. Creating a Relationship Vision is a simple and helpful tool. It doesn’t take much time and can really target the lasting happiness of your relationship.

    A few steps to creating a Relationship Vision Sit down by yourself for about 30 minutes. Remember it doesn’t have to be done in one day.

    SIMPLE STEPS TO FOLLOW

    1. Go for the positive

    When brainstorming phrase things in a positive manner. For example instead of saying “we don’t argue” say “we will settle things calmly and peacefully” or “we trust each other” instead of “we won’t be jealous”.

    2. Write down your non-negotiables and desires

    Write down your “must-haves” such as “we will parent together” or “exercise is important” or “we will communicate openly and respect each other’s perspective”. You could also write things like, “going outside of our union is non negotiable”, “monogamy is of the utmost importance “, “attending church is a priority”, “traveling and experiencing the world with my partner is a high priority.” Make sure it’s not a laundry list for your partner, i.e. he mows the lawn and she does the laundry.

    3. Explore several areas of a relationship

    Since we have a multifaceted life it is important to address as many of these as you feel necessary. Expressing wants, desires, and values with sex, finances, lifestyle, parenting, career in-laws, leisure time and education are just a few of the things you may want to consider in You Relationship Vision. Answer questions about these topics such as what do I enjoy in my free time? How important are finances? Do I want to work full time? Do I need a 401k? What about insurance? Does my job need to provide this? What percentage or amount of time do we spend with in-laws? How do we allow them to interact with the children? Is sex satisfying? Do we want to explore new sexual ideals? Do the answers align with my values?

    4. Come together

    Come together as a couple and discuss the things you agree on first. Then Discuss what is negotiable and create short sentences expressing what is important to both of you. Leave the things that you don’t agree on for last. See if you can compromise on these issues if not this is where someone like me comes in. Having a professional help couples work through the hard stuff is helpful and will benefit your relationship for a lifetime.

    5. Come up with your statement.

    It doesn’t have to be long, complicated or directive. As a matter of practicality it’s better to make it succinct, covering the overarching theme of your intentions for your relationship.

    Examples

    We are co-creators of our lives, sharing a desire to love and be loved unconditionally, by consciously determining our behaviors and the outcomes we wish for ourselves and our family. We value respect, trust, non-judgment and self-control. We bring our best selves to this union, casting out destructive, egocentric motivations so that we may achieve the most positive and loving lifestyle we are capable of.

    We agree to always love and cherish each other and recognize how fortunate we both are; each of us consider ourselves the ‘lucky one.’ We build a healthy lifestyle together, where we support each other in getting exercise, eating well, having fun, resting and relaxing. We make all important decisions together, as a team. We don’t keep secrets from each other. We confide in each other and feel safe in each other’s care.

    We’re together to build a loving family and teach our children about healthy relationships. We create a sense of stability by having some routine but also make time for fun and spontaneity. We don’t intentionally hurt each other, but recognize we still do – and so we quickly and readily apologize. We take care of each other.

    6. Schedule a time

    Weekly, monthly, quarterly or whatever works for you, but make sure you come together to gauge if you are on track. This is the best way to ensure you both get your needs met and can address it if you’ve gotten off track. This will also provide space for growth. Since nothing in life stays the same, people, situations, events, or relationships, this provides room to renegotiate, change your Relationship Vision as the both of you change.

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    Source by Roxanna Teeling

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  • Dousing the Flames of Marital Conflict

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    Conflicts in marriage are endemic. Because this is a union of two distinct individuals each with his or her own likes, dislikes, prejudices and pet peeves, conflicts are built into the marriage packet. As the famous evangelist Billy Graham once said, “For a married couple to expect perfection in each other is unrealistic. The unblemished ideal exists only in ‘happily-ever-after’ fairy tales. ‘Happily incompatible’ is a good adjustment.”

    No human relationship can exist in a permanent state of happiness, and conflicts need not be viewed as a sign of instability or impending rupture of marriage. Couples need to master the art of quarreling constructively and resolving all conflicts positively. A mature approach will increase understanding and trust, and strengthen their relationship. However this depends on their level of commitment to each other.

    Areas of conflict:

    o Finance: In this consumer-oriented society of today, money or the lack of it can lead to conflict. Spouses have different spending habits. Overspending or unnecessary spending by one partner can upset the family budget, leaving less money for essentials. Entertainment, alcohol, consumer goods can eat into one’s pocket. Similarly miserliness will also trigger conflict.

    o When the needs, wants and desires of one partner are not met, there is a tendency to be irritable or argumentative over trifles.

    o Domination: When one partner is excluded from the decisions that affect them both, friction is bound to arise. Similarly, procrastination by one partner on issues that need urgent decisions can be annoying.

    o In-laws: Too much interference or over dependence of in-laws can become a bone of contention. Unfair references and comparisons lead to quarrels.

    o Children: Different styles of parenting or lack of proper parenting skills can result in heated arguments.

    o Sex: Husbands and wives have exclusive conjugal rights over their partners. Depriving a spouse of normal sexual activity creates tension in the relationship.

    o Working wives: Some women with high tech jobs may not have quality time to spend with husband and children. Stress, fatigue or overwork can sap them of strength and put them in an irritable frame of mind.

    o Habits: Drinking, smoking, gambling or drug taking are frequent causes of conflict.

    o Social activities. Time consuming parties or games leave very little time to spend with each other.

    o Physical and emotional abuse.

    o Self-centeredness.

    o Secrecy: Keeping important secrets from each other is a breach of trust.

    o Infidelity.

    The mark of a good marriage is not the absence of conflict, but how each partner deals with the problem. Conflict is like an ember with the potential to spark into a flame, and if not doused in time, can blaze into a conflagration. The foremost thing to remember is that it is not a battle between enemies. It is just a disagreement between spouses who have promised to love and cherish each other till the end of their lives.

    “Many marriages would be better if both husband and wife realize that they are on the same side,” says Zig Ziglar.

    The aim must be to diffuse the situation by proper resolution, so that it does not crop up again and again.

    There are two options available.

    1.The Negative Approach which will generate hostility.

    2.The Positive Approach which will make the bonds of marriage stronger.

    Negative Approach:

    – One partner personalizes the problem and treats it as an attack. Women are more prone to this approach. They withdraw into themselves and wallow in self pity. Withdrawal may be physical, sexual or emotional. Breach of communication follows. This is a dangerous trend. A trivial problem festers in the mind until it assumes gigantic proportions.

    – Angry reactions like yelling, crying, abuse, sarcasm, insults or even violence are disastrous. The idea obviously is to hurt the other person while defending one’s self in the blame game.

    As Broderick said, “Couples who vent their anger and do nothing to get at its cause and cure are committing marital suicide.”

    Positive Approach:

    1. Couples should never communicate when angry. They should first think things over calmly by themselves and then discuss the issue. Privacy is important. Discussions should not take place in the presence of their children or relatives, but in a quiet place where there will be no interruptions. They must bear in mind at all times that they are allies and not adversaries. There must be eye contact throughout the discussion. Respect for each other’s feelings is important. So the tone of voice and body language must be appropriate. Listening carefully to the other’s point of view is showing respect. Questions and clarifications are in order. It is also a time to share one’s genuine hurts and frustrations. Generalizations like ‘You always find fault’ or ‘You never listen’ are not helpful.

    2. The core issue must be tackled. It is important to define and discuss only the problem that started the conflict. Is the problem repetitive? Is there a recurring pattern? If so, why has the problem not been resolved before? There should be no deviation into unrelated issues. Old problems must not be dredged up and recycled to score a point.

    3. Finance can be a contentious subject. Bad financial habits must be mended. Budgeting one’s income is important. If expenses go beyond the budgeted amount, there should be a discussion on how best to make good the deficit. Honest conversations about purchases, savings and overspending will help. It might require lowering one’s standard of living or finding other ways of income generation.

    4. Sex is an important aspect of marriage. Withholding sex by one partner as a means of punishing the other, is hurtful. Sex enhances intimacy and reconciliation.

    5. Spouses must take responsibility for their contribution to the problem. They should be willing to change their behaviour if necessary. Owning up faults and admitting their weaknesses will diffuse tension. Sometimes it may even be necessary to give into the partner’s wishes, even though not fully agreeable. It is important to focus on what is right and not on who is right. Compromise is by no means weakness. It reflects strength and helps resolve the problem permanently.

    6. Forgiveness is the most important salve that will heal the hurt of conflict. Couples should be generous in forgiving each other’s faults. It may not be easy, but it is always better to get it over with and move on.

    Conflicts in marriage are inevitable. Fault finding and negativity can destroy and tear apart relationships. ‘Let not the sun go down upon your wrath,’ advises Scripture. With proper communication, tolerance and commitment, most conflicts can be resolved.

    As Alexander Perry said, “The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but to hold hands.”

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    Source by Eva Bell

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  • 8 Tips to Help You Make an Online Dating Site Work for You

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    Today, online dating websites use artificial intelligence to help you get in contact with the right person. If you are looking for an effective way of making your favorite dating sites work for you, our expert tips may help you. On these platforms, you can get advice on relationships and dating. Plus, you will get a lot of relevant quizzes.

    Since these platforms attract millions of visitors on a regular basis, experts say that you have to use the right approach to make the platform work for you. Let’s read some tips.

    Set your Priorities

    First of all, you need to set your priorities, which means you need to set criteria for things you are looking for in your desired partner. Therefore, what you need to do is do your homework before you start your search. Also, this will help you create a short list of potential candidates.

    Consider your Interests

    You may want to choose a site that can match your interests. Your next move is to opt for a platform that you think can help you get the person you are in search of. On big platforms, your chances of finding the right person will be higher.

    Have a Live Chat

    Although it’s nice to chat with your partner online, it can’t be an alternative to a face-to-face conversation. If you are just getting started, meeting in person may not be possible. So, it’s a good idea to have a live video chat. This will help you find out if you can take it to the next level.

    Be Realistic

    Although you may find exactly the person you are looking for, make sure you are realistic. In other words, your expectations should be realistic.

    Personality Tests

    It’s interesting to run some personality tests, but don’t think that they are perfect. The matching bot of the dating site can’t beat personal experience. So, what you need to do is have an open mind about the person who the algorithm think is not good for you. That guy or girl may be an excellent prospect.

    Beware of Dishonest People

    While communicating with a prospective date on a dating website, make sure you trust your gut instincts. You can use many ways to find out if they are lying to you. Make sure you do all you can to be conservative and protect yourself.

    Safeguard your Self-Esteem

    If you don’t find your desired person even after several days, don’t lose heart. Even after trying your level best, if you fail to achieve success, we suggest that you sit with a close friend for suggestions. This will help you avoid mistakes that you might have made during the process.

    Create a Catchy Profile

    Make sure you prepare your profile carefully. Ideally, your profile should be a clear description of who you are. This will help others find you more easily. If your profile is poorly made, you may have to face disappointments.

    In short, these are some techniques that can help you make an online dating site work for you.

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    Source by Shalini M

    Views: 0