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Created To Bond – Changes That Heal Part II
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Failure To Develop Relationships

Emotional ties have a dramatic effect on our well-being. When one fails to develop relationships or bond with others, it can and often does affect their ability to stave off or recover from a variety of not only physical but also emotional ills. When they learn to attach to and trust others, they begin to develop not only emotionally, but also psychologically. Thus, their ability to bond with others… to become closely knit, often carryover into their home life.

When a child is distressed, he/she may show unusual signs such as increased pulse, increased or labored respiration, helplessness, and hopelessness and may easily become enraged. These signs are often seen when the biological parent remarries and the child tends to believe that he/she must compete with the step-parent for the biological parent’s attention.

When the adoptive or step-parent enters the situation with food, physical contact, compassion and other help, the child learns her parents can meet her needs. The child is then more active and able to respond to stimulation such as playing. When the child is content, she is able to sleep and feel comfortable in her surroundings.

According to Deborah Gray, author of Attaching in Adoption, “attachment is a relationship formed primarily with members of the family and requires more time and interaction to be created. Attachment is what most adoptive parents are referring to when they talk about bonding with their child. Adopted children of all ages may have an attachment to their birth family, even if the relationship was neglectful or abusive. Many adoption experts agree that if a child can form an attachment to birth and foster parents, she will have the skills to attach to her adoptive family as well.”

Signs of Secure Attachment

The parental attachment process can often take weeks or years to fully develop, and in some cases there maybe pervasive attachment disorders for which professional therapy will be required. A strong indicator of whether attachment is taking place is the comfort with which the adoptive or step-parent is able to recognize the child’s needs. It is important to remember that the repetition of parents meeting a child’s needs is the foundation of forming a secure attachment with children of all ages, not just infants.

The attachment bond shapes an infant’s brain

The attachment bond is the term for our first interactive love relationship-the one we had with our primary caregivers, that is, our mothers. The mother-child attachment bond is instrumental in shaping infants brains. This important attachment profoundly influences our self-esteem, our expectations of others, and our ability to attract and maintain successful relationships. So, the success, or failure, of our first love-the attachment bond-has a life-long effect.

Our secure attachment bond shapes our abilities to:
- feel safe
- develop meaningful connections with others
- explore our world
- deal with stress
- balance emotions
- experience comfort and security
- make sense of our lives
- create positive memories and expectations of relationships
Attachment bonds are as unique as we are. Primary caretakers do not have to be perfect. They do not have to always be in agreement with their infants’ emotions, but it helps if they are emotionally available a majority of the time.

We were born with an innate or preprogrammed need to bond with one very significant person-our primary caregiver, usually our mother. Like all infants, you were a small bundle of disjointed emotions-intensely experiencing fear, anger, sadness, and joy, often at the same time. The natural emotional attachment that grew between you and your caregiver was the first interactive relationship of your life, and it depended upon nonverbal communication. Therefore, the bonding you experienced in this relationship determined how you would relate to other people throughout your life. This bonding relationship established the foundation for all verbal and nonverbal communication in your future relationships.

For better or worse, the attachment bond profoundly influences the infant brain. It is a baby’s first love relationship. When the primary caretaker can manage personal stress, calm the infant, communicate through emotion, share joy, and forgive easily, the young child’s nervous system becomes “securely attached.” The strong foundation of a secure attachment bond enables the child to be self-confident, trusting, hopeful, and comfortable in the face of conflict. As an adult, he or she will be flexible, creative, hopeful, and optimistic.

People who fail to establish this type of bonding relationship often experience confusing, frightening, or broken emotional communications during their infancy and often grow into adults who have difficulty understanding their own emotions and the feelings of others. This hampers their ability to establish, build and/or maintain attachments leading to successful relationships.

What is Attachment?

Attachment is the relationship between infants and their primary caregivers-is responsible for:
- shaping the success or failure of future intimate relationships
- the ability to maintain a normal emotional balance
- the ability to enjoy being ourselves and to find satisfaction in being with others
- the ability to successfully rebound from various disappointments, discouragement, and misfortune
Many scientific studies of the brain-and the primary role attachment plays in shaping it-has given us a new basis for understanding why vast numbers of people have great difficulty communicating with the most important individuals in their work and love lives. Once, we could only use guesswork to try and determine why important relationships never evolved, or developed chronic problems, or fell apart. Now, thanks to new insights into brain development, we can understand what it takes to help build and nurture productive and meaningful relationships at home and at work.

What is the attachment bond?

The mother-child bond is the primary force in infant development, according to the attachment bond theory pioneered by English psychiatrist John Bowlby and American psychologist Mary Ainsworth. The theory has gained strength through worldwide scientific studies and the use of brain imaging technology.

The attachment bond theory states that the relationship between infants and primary caretakers is responsible for:
- shaping all of our future relationships
- strengthening or damaging our abilities to focus, be conscious of our feelings, and calm ourselves
- the ability to bounce back from misfortune
Scientific research reveals the infant/adult interactions that result in a successful, secure attachment, where both people are aware of the other’s feelings and emotions is the necessary precursor for successful relationships. These studies also reveal troubled, or insecure attachment, in which the communication of feelings fails thus resulting in an inability to form the bind needed to establish a solid relationship. Researchers found that in order to have successful adult relationships there must exist in us and we must depend on the ability to:
- manage stress
- stay “tuned in” with emotions
- use communicative body language
- be playful in a mutually engaging manner
- be readily forgiving, relinquishing grudges
The same research also found that when an insecure attachment exists some type of abuse may have caused it, but it is just as likely to be caused by isolation or loneliness. These recent discoveries offer a new glimpse into successful love relationships. Taking these observations into account often provides the keys to identifying and repairing a love relationship that is strained or falling apart.

Insecure attachment affects adult relationships

Insecurity can be a significant problem in all of our lives, and it usually takes root when an infant’s attachment bond fails to provide the child with sufficient structure, recognition, understanding, safety, and mutual accord. These insecurities may lead us to:
- Tune out and turn off-Most often, if our parent is unavailable and self-absorbed, we may-as children-get lost in our own inner world, we become introverted, avoiding any close, emotional connections. This often causes us as adults to become physically and emotionally distant in relationships.
- Remain insecure-If we have parents who are inconsistent or intrusive, it’s more than likely that we will become unrealistically anxious and fearful, never knowing what to expect. Then as adults, we may become willingly available one moment and totally rejecting the next.
- Become disorganized, aggressive and angry-When our early needs for emotional closeness and comfort is neglected, or when a parent’s erratic behavior is a source of disorienting terror, emotional problems are sure to follow. As we grow into adults, we may lack the ability to love easily and may unknowingly be insensitive to the needs of our partner.
- Develop slowly-Problems often occur when we fail to develop as rapidly as we should, both emotionally and intellectually. Such developmental delays often manifest themselves in the form of deficits and often result in subsequent physical and mental health problems, and generally lead to social and learning disabilities.
Lessons Learned From Our Attachment Bond

There are many powerful, life-altering lessons we learn from our attachment bond-our first love relationship continues to teach us as adults. The gut-level knowledge we gained from this bond then guides us in improving our adult relationships and making them secure.

Lesson No. 1-All adult relationships depend on nonverbal forms of communication for their success. These nonverbal communication skills are learned in infancy. Newborn infants cannot talk, reason or plan; yet they are equipped to make sure their needs are met. Infants don’t know what they need, they feel what they need, and communicate accordingly. When an infant communicates with a caretaker who understands and meets their physical and emotional needs an attachment takes place and the strength of that attachment influences other relationships later in life.

Lesson No. 2-Relationships in which the parties are tuned in to each other’s emotions are called attuned relationships, and attuned relationships teach us that:
- nonverbal cues deeply impact our love relationships
- as we play it helps us smooth over the turbulent times we endure in love relationships
- inevitable conflicts can build trusting relationships if we approach them without fear or a need to punish or retaliate
When we can recognize knee-jerk memories, perceive expectations, inappropriate attitudes, unfounded assumptions and improper behaviors as problems resulting from insecure attachment bonds, we can squelch their influence and their effect on our adult relationships. That recognition allows us to readily reconstruct the healthy nonverbal communication skills that ultimately produce an attuned attachment and successful relationship.

Becoming an Adult and Relationship Orientation

As we grow into adulthood, for the most part we bring with us the ideas and communication lessons we have learned from the time of our infancy. Whether these are good or bad depends on our ability to not only view life from our perspective but also have the ability and the willingness to see things from the other person’s point of view as well. When we are able to do that, then we are in a more astute position to deal with situations and circumstances that are adverse to us.

As we move through the adolescent stage of life we find ourselves at odds not only with others but also with ourselves. We want to be an adult with all of its rights and privileges sooner that we can become one, yet at the same time we want to abdicate the responsibility that goes with that station in life. It is a time of being able to make your own decisions and taking authority over your own life, but you are not there yet. You must learn to maintain control of your impulsiveness and your inhibitions. You must be able to objectionably reevaluate your beliefs, see your parents and authority figures realistically, recognize and pursue your God-given talents and goals, and be willing to take ultimate responsibility for yourself. Finally you must be able to accept and appreciate people who are different.

This ability helps us to be able to accept the good and the bad because we are able to address situations in a mature manner. When we are able to do this, we place ourselves into a position of strength, resulting in a proper evaluation of ourselves. Thus we are able to overcome some of the most persistent problems we face daily because now we are not only able to see things in black and white but also in the various shades of gray. As such, we are able to make allowances for our and other peoples mistakes.

We at that point come to realize that everything in life doesn’t have to go our way in order for us to be happy. We gain a new perspective on ourselves, others and God as a result of our changed thinking. We are then able to deal with each other with mercy, in grace, with the understanding that we too make mistakes. When we move into the realm of tolerance and forgiveness, we are able to love others without them having to be perfect.

Yet, in order to accomplish the task and responsibility of growing up we must also be willing to take responsibility and be accountable for those things of which we have been put in charge. Those things include our attitude, tongue, and actions. As we continue to grow in stature and wisdom the maturity level of our life should also increase proportionately.

Differences Between Men And Women

From my experience in dealing with women, (my mother, aunts, seven sisters and many friends and associates) I find that the majority of women are generally oriented towards their existing friendship networks whereas men were more interested in meeting new people and finding people who had similar interests — in other words, men would rather enjoy the adventure of reaching out to new people rather than cementing their existing relationships.

These results contribute to the growing research on social capital, networking and highlight the importance of examining specific interactive applications. The importance of distinguishing between strong and weak ties plays a major role in establishing new relationships. Also, it is necessary to consider the importance of taking into account gender differences in social interaction patterns. Whereas, women increase their bonding social capital as a result of using these sites but men do not. Women, on the other hand, show a decrease in bonding social capital with those whom they meet outside of their normal sphere of influence.

The fear of incorporating emotional intimacy into these association/relationships is mainly due to a fear of rejection and engulfment – a fear of losing the other and/or losing yourself. To overcome this obstacle you must be able to establish an inner bond with yourself. Inner Bonding is a transformational process for healing the fear of intimacy related ideas that have been carried from past experiences.

The mental visualization of these experiences often cause us to digress into a self-contained state of emotional security that hinders our ability to openly tolerate the inconsistencies we see in others. As a result, we ourselves are moved to a protective state and therefore unable to deal with the negative feelings that we will invariably experience. This barrier can block us from resolving issues that in reality are non-issues.

The Immaturity In Adolescence

Struggles with adolescent identity and depression usually set in when an adolescent experiences a loss. The most important loss in their lives is the changing relationship between the adolescent and their parents. Adolescents may also experience strife in their relationships with friends. This may be due to the activities their friends take part in, such as smoking, which causes adolescents to feel as though participating in such activities themselves is likely essential to maintaining these friendships. Teen depression can be extremely intense at times because of physical and hormonal changes but emotional instability is part of adolescence. Their changing mind, body and relationships often present themselves as stressful and that change, they assume, is something to be feared.

Your experiences in life help you to mature. The maturity is developed when you know you have no one to blame for the past but the circumstances and your immaturity. Oftentimes your immaturity stopped you from having a proper perspective of the facts facts and seeing things as they were. This made you blame others for your sufferings. You may have created and escalated your suffering without realizing the facts and circumstances and taking a easy way out by holding others responsible for it.

You feel you are always on the receiving end of every wrong or perceived wrong due to your immaturity. However, life has a knack of replaying memories and after few years it recreates the same circumstances but this time puts you on the opposite side (giving end), you are left with no choice but to accept the fact that you were so immature then and have grow-up with years. As you mature, life makes you see your ‘old you’ in somebody else now in these replaying of circumstances and you know that the other person still has to wait years ahead to grow and realize these facts.

Maturity slowly leads to wisdom when you know that it is only you who has to stand up and take responsibility for your past – action / inaction, sufferings / failures instead of holding others responsible. It is truly said that you create your own happiness. By blaming others and holding grudges you keep happiness at bay and give way to hatred and self pity. However, with time and wisdom when you accept the responsibility for your sufferings and embrace all your successes without pride -you are truly happy.

Divorce And Its Affects On Maturity

Children of divorced parents often bitterly vow not to repeat the same mistakes. They want to avoid putting themselves and their own children through the pain that comes from the dissolution of a marriage. But, according to University of Utah researcher Nicholas H. Wolfinger, these children’s aspirations face unfavorable odds. “Growing up in a divorced family greatly increases the chances of ending one’s own marriage, a phenomenon called the divorce cycle or the intergenerational transmission of divorce.” Dr. Wolfinger has spent almost a decade studying the marriages of children from divorced homes in America. These children are more likely to marry during their teenage years, cohabitate and marry someone who is also a child of divorced parents. And they are also one-third less likely to marry if they are over age 20.

“Understanding the Divorce Cycle: The Children of Divorce in Their Own Marriages,” by Wolfinger, published by Cambridge University Press, contains important information for those interested in divorce and its repercussions. “Divorce is an important topic because it has so many consequences for well-being,” writes Wolfinger,

“Its transmission between generations adds a whole new dimension by perpetuating the cycle of divorce. The divorce cycle, in short, can be thought of as a cascade. Ending a marriage starts a cycle that threatens to affect increasing numbers of people over time, a sobering thought in an era when half of all new marriages fail.” His research also suggests that if one spouse comes from divorced parents, the couple may be up to twice as likely to divorce. Spouses who are both children of divorced parents are three times more likely to divorce as couples who both hail from intact families.

Besides observing the marital stability of the offspring of divorced couples, Wolfinger’s book provides another perspective on how parental divorce affects offspring marriage timing, mate selection, cohabitating relationships as well as historical trends in the divorce cycle. Wolfinger also explores the divorce reform movement in America and argues in favor of no-fault divorce laws, arguing that a return to an age of tough divorce laws would recreate the social conditions that used to make divorce harder on children.

It is my opinion considering all that has been written on this subject that one reason children from divorced families get divorced more often is because they have a tendency to marry as teenagers. Social history demonstrates that the older you are when you marry, the less likely you are to get divorced. It’s good advice for everyone.”

On the other hand, the more transitions children experience while growing up, the more they will experience as adults. Taking this into consideration, the question that needs to be asked is, “What is the hardest for kids is how many disruptions they experience — the up-and-down cycles.

This is a valid question because many children will have stepparents, and some will see their new families dissolve. This type of disruption occurs any time they lose a parent — except from death. That’s different, and doesn’t have the same negative effects on children… whereas divorce is ambiguous. Children wonder whether the divorce was their fault or who is to blame. And they wonder ‘Is he coming back?’” It is certainly good news that people are less likely to stay in high conflict marriages than they used to. However, “ending a low-conflict marriage may hurt children as much as staying in a high-conflict family,” and the odds of divorce transmission are actually highest if parents dissolve a marriage after little or no conflict. It therefore behooves us to evaluate the effects divorce will have upon our children and their emotional well being should we decide to travel that road.

But before making that decision, we should honestly examine ourselves and the motivating things that are moving us in that direction. This inventory, if prayerfully done will allow us to see the other persons point of view more clearly and thereby make the necessary adjustments, where warranted, to resolve the issues that precipitated situation to begin with. If we are truly willing to continue the relationship, then we must take the necessary steps needed to resolve the issues of what is good or bad by first considering what we could have done to alleviate the problem rather than casting blame. When we allow the power of forgiveness to flow in us we cannot only deal with the past and present, but also the future as bonds are cemented.

Gray, Deborah. Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today’s Parents. Indiana:Perspectives Press Inc., 2002.

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Source by Franklyn T. Johnson, Ph.D

Views: 0
February 3, 2020
Effects Of The Procrastination Habit

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Procrastination is often portrayed as a habit that takes place when somebody doesn’t want to do something or doesn’t feel the need to do it today. Many times, friends and family make small side jokes about how a person puts this task off or waits until the last second to do another task.

For many, however, the habit of procrastination can reach such chronic levels that it can have negative effects on their life. These effects range from financial difficulties, to broken relationships and even health problems. To those with the habit of procrastination at this level, it is no joke.

Procrastination And Finances

A person who procrastinates paying their bills will often wind up paying reconnection and overdue fees on service utilities. Many times these services get disconnected and because of the cost of upfront payments and other fees, they may or may not get turned back on again.

In addition, once a person gets into this habit their credit will suddenly begin to spiral downward causing them difficulty in future and potentially needed purchases. With no credit it’s very difficult to purchase a home, a car or even obtain so much as a cell phone.

Those are just the necessities. Once a person’s finances are curtailed because of procrastination it also has affects on their families. Luxury items and vacations become non-existent, and I’ve even read stories where the habit of procrastination has hit so hard that it becomes difficult to purchase food for the family.

Procrastination And Health

Procrastination can also have serious health implications for those that are in the habit of procrastinating seriously. The largest, and most common, health risk is that of depression. In fact, procrastination and depression are very closely linked.

The second most common health risk that procrastination presents is that of stress. Stress from not achieving, stress from financial burden and stress in relationships are many times a direct result of procrastination.

If procrastination isn’t taken seriously the effects such as stress and depression can reach levels that require immediate and intensive professional care. Without such care the effects of the habit of procrastination can have long term health consequences.

The good news is that with a plan of action, time and persistence anybody can overcome the habit of procrastination. Once a person realizes that the habit of procrastination is having negative effects on their life, all they have to do is commit to change and follow through with their plan of action.

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Source by Matt Ryan

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February 3, 2020
Mad Max: Fury Road Relationship Between Max and Furiosa

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Mad Max Fury Road is a story that involves two people by the name Max and Furiosa who are held captive and are trying to escape from Hamlet. Max is suffering outrageous fortunes but he is learning from the fortunes while Furiosa has decided to oppose her troubles by taking arms against the leaders of Hamlet. The two characters cannot trust each other at first but due to their circumstances they are forced to rely on each other. Love is humanized in the film where much deeper conventions of love are stricken. Max is a loner and a survivor who has been traumatized in a world where people see him as a blood bag. On the contrary Furiosa is scheming a plan to help five women who have been enslaved in Hamlet. Max does not trust Furiosa and in most parts of the film he holds a gun on her.

In the middle of these desperate attempts to escape from their chasers Max and Furiosa are forced to depend on each other. In many love stories people fall in love due to opportunities provided by circumstances. The alignment of stars and personal chemistry makes this happen. Every step of the relationship between Max and Furiosa is dictated by their circumstances where the only choice they are left with is to depend and rely on each other and to trust each other in order to escape. In a critical scene Furiosa asks Max his name but he refuses to tell her. In the end Max finally tells Furiosa his name where there are significant happenings throughout the film. These moments appear and vanish in the film through chaos and apocalyptic alienation. Max and Furiosa form an alliance where they try to fight motorcycles that are shooting at them. He leaves her to go to a mission which may be fatal but fears no one would notice if he dies in the mission. Max talks Furiosa out of a suicide mission when he says “you know hope is a mistake”. Max eventually decides hope is not a mistake and went back to Furiosa where he joins her and they plan to oppose the forces against them.

At the end of the film Max does not stay with Furiosa but he leaves and eventually disappears into the crowd. A modern viewer can resonate with this film in that modern man is alienated from himself, from the world and from fellow men. Everyone is alone, with a deep sense of insecurity, guilt and anxieties which are results of separation that cannot be overcome. Like Max lost his identity in the opening moments, man has lost his identity too, and is overcome by powerful forces that own him. Like Furiosa man tries to search for a community and the only thing he finds is a desert.

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Source by Jeremiah Otieno Odhiambo

Views: 0

January 31, 2020
All Natural Erectile Dysfunction Cure

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There is no such a disease that has a harder impact on mans life then erectile dysfunction. Your whole world collapses when you discover that you are not enough of a man anymore. To make it worse, men of all ages across the board are affected with erectile dysfunction. Sometimes, ED is experienced as early as late 20s. The men the most affected with this disorder are in their 30s and 40s. Being sexually dysfunctional after the age of 50 is considered by many to be a normal thing. But then on the other hand, why worry when erectile dysfunction can easily be fixed with a magic blue pill. Can it really?

To answer that, lets look at some facts, then you can decide for yourself if the blue pill really is what it says it is, or it’s just another Big Pharma deception skillfully imposed on mankind.

For the proper erection it is important to have good circulation and healthy nervous system, for the brain upon arousal to send the message for the body to start creating the erection.

When arousal commences, arterial muscle tissue in the lining relaxes, which increases the blood influx with blood that is high in oxygen.

Veins elasticity is needed for penis to sustain the erection, because veins constrict to prevent blood from leaving the cavernous cells.

The erection creating impulse sent from the brain then passes through erection nerves ( cavernous nerves ) situated right at the bottom of the prostate gland, and into the penis.

Hooray, the erection!

However this story in real life situation usually doesn’t finish with a happy ending but rather in a shameful failure. Obviously, a million dollar question is, what is the cause of erectile dysfunction?

Western medicine says that there are several causes of erectile dysfunction. They list as most common disorders, high blood pressure, cholesterol and enlarged prostate. To overcome all these conditions, and to achieve erection never the less, they suggest using drugs for erectile dysfunction, like Viagra, Levitra, Cialis etc.

Interestingly enough, very few want to know why these disorders happen to begin with. It seems that people are forgetting the simple fact that, to learn how to cure we must learn why it is there in the first place. So what is the cause of all these conditions, and then, what is the cause of erectile dysfunction?

The cause of any disease, dysfunction or condition is acidic body. Acidic body occurs when our lymphatic fluids become acidic because of the junk food or poor quality food we choose to eat.

Lets now take a look at each of these so called causes of erectile dysfunction and dismantle them one by one.

High blood pressure is nothing other then, our body trying to compensate for the lack of oxygen which happens when our diet is short on alkaline minerals. Shortage of alkaline minerals equals acidic body.

Cholesterol comes about because of the same reason, acidic body. Our body protects our blood vessels from the acidic lymphatic fluids so they wouldn’t burn, or even worse dissolve, by creating cholesterol as a protective layer. Here again the acidity is the cause.

Enlarged prostate is, like the conditions mentioned, noting other then a result of acidic body. Prostate becomes enlarged, inflamed or burned if you will by acidic lymphatic fluids. The erection nerves at the bottom of the prostate get stretched and rigid because of the same reason and they loose the ability to conduct the brain signal which is necessary to sustain the erection.

Now when we answered the million dollar question, what is the real cause of erectile dysfunction, lets answer another one, what to do to prevent erectile dysfunction or if you have one, how to cure it.

We must learn to eat an alkaline diet that is going to be rich in all alkaline minerals. These alkaline minerals, and only these alkaline minerals have the potential of neutralizing the body acids. Our pH of both saliva and urine has to be above 7.2 to permanently cure erectile dysfunction.

You should always look to supply your body with alkaline minerals through the natural foods in your diet. Alkaline minerals in natural foods are in ionic state and they are easily absorbed by the body. Rock minerals bought at your local pharmacy are nothing other then a waist of money, because these can hardly be absorbed by the body, if any at all.

Two foods that are your very best source of all alkaline minerals are black strap molasses and kelp. No other foods known to mankind can match the amount of alkaline minerals found in black strap molasses and kelp ( especially Ascophyllum Nodosum ).

To buy black strap molasses of top quality and top quality cold water kelp click here now.

For the rest of the folks who still believe in the magic power of the blue Viagra pill I suggest you look up what the ingredients are. To help you out a bit, all three, nitrates, titanium and aluminum are highly harmful and life threatening toxins. While you’re at it, check also if it says anything about, if it contained oxygen or alkaline minerals, because last time I did, there wasn’t any.

Alkalize or die early death.

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Source by Zoran Jovanovic

Views: 0

January 30, 2020
Homosexual Dating – Truth and Connection

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Homosexual dating has become much more widespread and accepted in Western culture, allowing both gays and lesbians the chance to reach out to one another beyond that of closed doors. Now there are many ways you can have a rewarding homosexual dating experience, so don’t be afraid to get out there and explore all of the potential relationships you can create at a wonderful same-sex communities.

Homosexuality is a form of love that needs not to be judged or explained, because it is just another example of how when you love someone it doesn’t matter what colour their skin is, how old they are, or even what sex they are. True love knows no boundaries, has no discriminations and only wishes to be shared with another who returns the same emotions.

Unfortunately, not everyone agrees with this idea of love, and due to this fact, many homosexuals, regardless if they are male or female, are made to feel alienated, which can often lead to feelings of depression or loneliness. There is no reason why you should let these feelings overcome you, or let other opinions of those you care about, such as family members or friends, negatively influence your life when it comes to finding love, relationships, and homosexual dating.

Homosexual dating is about finding someone who feels the same way you do, enjoys spending time with you, treats you with respect and makes you feel like an equal. It is about being apart of a relationship with mutual understanding, which has the potential to forge a strong connection between both you and your partner.

Like any dating experience, there will be certain setbacks and struggles that you may face during homosexual dating. This is only natural, simply because in order for you to connect with someone, it is important that you feel comfortable with them.

As a gay or lesbian, you should not feel that you need to grab any opportunity that comes your way. There is no harm in starting as friends and working slowly into the relationship to discover how much you have in common. As long as you are honest with your feelings, you should have no problem finding a partner.

Homosexual dating is how you can establish an amazing connection with someone who understands you, and loves you for who you are with no questions asked. Even though you will meet some people who are destined to give you a hard time with your sexual preference, all you can do is trust your own judgments, be true to yourself, and give your love and time to those who deserve it.

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Source by Frank Duru

Views: 0

January 30, 2020
PC Speed Doctor Review – How to Optimise Your Computer for Speed

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Are you currently unhappy with the pace of your personal computer? Is it not functioning as quickly as the first day you had it?

Alas this situation happens to be an all too very common problem. It can result in unnecessary stress, hamper your productiveness and even result in your PC to freeze and lose your entire work. Thankfully though it does not have to be like this and there are various methods of getting back the performance of your personal machine.

The most common suggestions from analysts is to defrag your personal machine and then to carry out a computer speed test to determine exactly where the issue lies. A good computer speed test gives you figures, which is fantastic if you are a technically capable but won't assist the normal individual who just would like to get their personal computer fixed.

So how can you fix the issues afflicting your personal machine? What software or service do you need?

To begin with you'll need a tool which can comprehensively identify the issue then recommend possible solutions to overcome these issues. PC Speed Doctor is one such all-in-one tool and has been designed to increase the overall performance, internet speed and output of virtually any computer with just a few simple mouse clicks. There are several computer speed optimization software available on the market, however PC Speed Doctor is different from its challengers in that it's straightforward to use and just simply works!

The product stands up tall to all of the promises it offers. Where the majority of optimization programs only scan the surface of your computer, PC Speed Doctor carries out a powerful intense deep scan which gets to the cause of the problems and then undertakes any necessary steps to overcome the problems. It also optimises your personal computer to give you a machine which is as quick as the day you got it.

PC Speed Doctor also increases your web browsing by performing a computer speed test that discovers all likely bottlenecks that will affect your web experience. Not many other products and solutions check internet speed, but with this tool it can detect the issues and solve them effortlessly. PC Speed Doctor has been critically recommended by industry gurus and buyers world-wide.

Reading user reviews are essential in every purchase and this tool does not get it wrong in receiving thumbs up reviews to its recognition from experts within the compug industry. As well as exceptional evaluations there are numerous recognized instances when people have noted that their PCs are running faster and more optimally.

Cost is also an important consideration in any product purchase and PC Speed Doctor does not fall short here either. It can be downloaded completely Free Today. This will help you scan your computer and determine many of the problems that are affecting your computer. Buy the affordable paid model to mend every one of these things and reinstate your PC to its former glory.

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Source by Arif Hanid

Views: 0

January 29, 2020
Poor Man Rich Soul – How to Enjoy the Richness of the Mind

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If you are poor nonetheless, it does not matter if you know how to keep a mind full of richness. Trees do not have any bank accounts, credit cards, fancy cars or villas, do they? What they have are branches and leaves as well as that good soil to keep them growing. It would not matter if fall strips them bare for a few months, because they would survive again after that. It is great if we can learn this; that abundance did not spring from nothing and that keeping along matters a lot. Have not all trees started from a single seed? And it even requires courage, endurance and patience to keep growing. So here are some tips to bring forth that richness of the mind.

Try Unit Spending
When you find yourself not able to spend on many things or when you are constantly living on a budget, there is a way around it! What that means is for you to train your mentality to spend in an acceptable range based on your financial capacity. For example, if you are a person capable of spending in amount bearing up to thousands, then by all means spend one to two units less. That means, when you start spending in amounts of tens or hundreds, suddenly you find yourself capable of buying a lot more stuff! On the other hand, if you are person capable of spending in amount bearing up to hundreds, then by all means spend again one to two units less. That means spend in amounts of tens and below tens! You will find yourself a lot happier when you realize that there are still so many things out there that you can buy!

If one of the keys to happiness is ultimate buying power, make it one that happens in relation to quantity instead of quality. At times when quality matters more, you can either realign a portion of your savings and go for the best options available or delay the purchase until the time and cost of the product falls at its optimal state. Consider buying in relation to quality only when necessary. After all market places deserve its fair chance of customer share. Certainly there are products that you could compromise easily on its quality, just be sure not to compromise those that should not be done so.

Be a Good Person
If you are usually a good person, chances are you can become popular among your friends and family. That notion itself is self reassuring. Less fear embedded in your mind as you already know, there are people willing to lend a helping hand still. Make sure you are a good person that has real, decent friends and that you have done your part when times are good. Say the down time is heavy, then what you should do is share those worries with your friends and family. Deeper bonded friendships will warm hearts and keep us going still. Bad times can also be perceived as an opening for new opportunities at bay. Work hand in hand and fight together to alleviate all sorrows due to poverty. Let all pass with good hope and constructive activities.

A year older and a year wiser! Never outgrow this mentality. Learn and be wiser everyday. Find ways to manage problems or formulate strategies to overcome them slowly. Plant yourself to become one strong and healthy tree.

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Source by Karen Chai

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January 24, 2020
Living Alone with Hemiparesis

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Safety would be the primary concern of course when people with hemiparesis live alone or are alone for extended amounts of time. Of course your first references are your doctor, physical therapist and occupational therapists especially. This being stated, I can offer insights on some important items to consider in practical aspects of living alone after a traumatic brain injury or a stroke that result in a severe muscle weakness along the left or right side of the body and is sometimes exhibited in slight nerve damage as with me. Perhaps instead of living by them selves, it would be better to consider us living independently. At this writing, I will have reached almost thirty years of living with hemiparesis. Most of this time I was living alone and working as an engineer and writer, author.

For us, the detrimental effects of hemiparesis are still prevalent even after initial rehabilitation and limited recovery. The effects can change with extreme variation.

Effects When Tired or Awoken

When the body is tired, effects can be worse and certainly more dangerous when living alone. An example is if awoken in the night, maybe by thirst, a call, or other concern. Even a healthy person could possibly stumble on sleepy legs or with eyes half open, but for those with left or right hemiparesis, the negative effects are magnified. A stumble can turn into a fall and possibly a head injury since one arm has poor strength, does not react quickly and is not likely to stop a fall. If a foot drags slightly during the day with shoes, then it can be so much worse at night even so unsafe that the person will roll over the toes so as to bruise them and fall forward on the weak side. Lessons learned here emphasize the need for uncluttered floors and hallways. A stray shoe on the floor or even newspaper can prove disastrous. Either could throw off the balance suddenly for a waking person especially in the dark.

This brings up a suggestion for low level lighting in the home or apartment. Economical battery operated motion detector lights are available at many stores now or a search online. Even if a cane is not needed during the day; it would be wise to have a cane near the bed, even a quad cane for late night awakenings or an early morning rising. In the morning, there are other issues as tightened up leg muscles that need stretching before safely moving.

Shower and Bathroom Safety

Morning stretching is important, especially as we who are injured age but more importantly, shower safety needs to be addressed. There is much assistive devices available and occupational therapists can communicate effectively the needs here, however I can give you my thoughts. These are that it can be quite scary at times, especially if you have had an accident, falling in the shower, tub or bathroom before. You will need to be able to have something within reach on your good side to grab onto, basically at all times. Please note that if you can’t use the screwed in support rails and use the bars with suction cups, you really need at least two bars together. Redundant support as these are known t slip and when you have water or soap in your eyes and reach out with the bar slipping, it can be devastating. I would recommend having a bar on the entry or exit and on the opposite side. This way if a person with hemiparesis turns around there is always a bar on the good side.

But it does not stop there. Bathroom floors are usually smooth surfaces and with one foot having no or minimal grab, then any water on a smooth tile or marble surface is like ice and can easily cause a fall when drying. Rubber backed rugs are most often used but can bunch up under feet. A work around solution for these throw rugs is rubber strips with adhesive on both sides. The local hardware store will have some rug grippers or search the web

Dressing

This is an area again where an occupational therapist assures you are prepared with any assistive devices for reaching around the weak side or fastening in back and collar. However, I can emphasize that so much more time needs to be available, just in case. Even though, there are assistive devices and there is ample training in doing this usually available before even leaving the hospital.

Food Preparation, Cooking Kitchen Safety

One’s ability to prepare meals will vary. I understand it’s good to be independent but in the kitchen it just may be smarter to minimize preparation with knives or stovetop. Even the oven can cause burns and fire easily. Having a cardboard pizza box fall onto a hot broiler iron can start a fire that is not too easy for someone with a disability to put out quickly. Sure there are now small convenient fire extinguishers available but some often need two good hands to operate correctly and then even finding it quickly can be an issue for trauma, brain injury or stroke victims.

Fortunately, there has been an improvement In microwave dinners. This certainly would not be your first option in the past. However, I have been at this for almost thirty years now and I really have seen a great variety come on the market and costs go down. Good, healthy dinners can be cooked in one minute. I still bake chicken and pizze plus a few others but safety really needs to bethe forst priority. Losing balance and reaching out to find as hot frying pan to lean on can happen and I have personal experience, it’s not a quick heal having a burn in the palm of your good hand. Agsin here as in the bathroom, a rug with rubber backing and rug grabbers should be required.

Mind Body Health Needs

Concentration and Focus are the key in most everything that the person with hemiparesis might have to overcome. That is why ongoing brain training is so important.

Human interaction, relationships contribute greatly to complex usage of our brain and even helping to stay young. Well living alone minimizes this benefit ad over time can have an adverse effect. Sure, some will say the upward potential may be limited but start with the objective of not losing ability. Without regular exercise, mind or body can atrophy to borrow a term used to describe not using muscles.

There are free and paid sources on the web. There are now brain improvement magazines at the local supermarket and brain games are popular and effective, most even for one hand use.

Geographic Area Specific Issues

Depending on your locality, power outages can occur during natural events mostly as snow or ice storms, hurricanes, tornadoes. When living on the eastern coast, I lost power even when their was a high windstorm. Natural events as this can have an impact on people living with hemiparesis just as they do for others with a disability, elderly or families in general. However preparedness is the key here and living alone increases importance of having battery lighting, food, water, cell phone, radio, all available and easily attainable in possibly in the dark.

The power loss may be worse in cold weather for this condition as detrimental effects can disable some people with this extreme muscle weakness and possibly nerve damage. This varies of course depending on person or injury but in general arms and legs can start shaking uncontrollably and a serious limitation to mobility. Poor effects are also exhibit in sudden changes of weather. Each person may experience this differently but a check with your physician is best.

To assist in times as these, warm clothing, even a safe generator where it can be installed in a home as a backup are suggestions with heat packs available at sporting good stores or camping supply shop.

Summary

Some of the techniques and tips outlined here may seem obvious to some or simple but they are not always thought of ahead of time before they are used. This is evident in support forums online, knowing individuals and my own thirty years of living with hemiparesis. There are of course more but in general, consideration that movements can be slow at times as can thinking. An important point is if there is a loss of balance or tripping, it will most likely be on the weak side which of course doesn’t react fast nor have enough hand strength usually to hang on to something firmly. This is why safety is the first priority when living alone with this injury.

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Source by Leon Edward

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January 21, 2020
A Review of Have More Money Now

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John Layfield’s book “Have More Money Now” which was published in 2003, caught my attention years ago when he had been on CNBC giving financial advice and even contributed to Fox News. John Layfield is also known as JBL, and was a professional wrestler; it was different seeing a professional wrestler in a suit giving a serious commentary about finances.

Layfield’s story is a little different. He never had to overcome being in debt, but he did go through many years of not having very much money. In fact there were plenty of times when he had no money. When he had to quit playing football he got into professional wrestling. However, wrestling for him was far from the glamour you see on television. He was paid $3.00 for one match when starting out. Sometimes he made $10.00 or $25.00 for a match. He gives a great account of the struggles he went through while trying to make it in the wrestling business.

John Layfield doesn’t mention in his book if he consciously made choices when he was younger that stopped him from accumulating debt. He just didn’t spend money he didn’t have. As he says many times in the book when referring to delayed gratification “have when you have”. If he had to live in a tent or go without heat he would do it. He only bought the necessities he needed with the money he had. Many of the promotions he worked for would provide him some kind of meager accommodations while he wrestled for them, but he wasn’t making much money at all back then. By living only on whatever cash he earned he saved himself from the problems of accumulated debt.

Some of the lessons learned in “Have More Money Now” by John Bradshaw Layfield

-Forget the past. Focus on the future. Whatever happened in the past can not be changed. Rather than sweating over what you should have done, focus on what you can start doing now. How can you reduce your expenses, increase your income, or increase your financial education?

-Don’t be average. Do what you care about and excel at it. If you are doing what you want to do, you will work at it much harder and that passion dramatically improves your chances of being successful.

-Delayed Gratification (“Have when you have”) Layfield stressed “living within your means” many times and he certainly practiced what he preached. For years he struggled to make enough money just to buy basics. Even though times were hard he never went into debt buying things he simply wanted. Part of his success came from avoiding the trap of debt.

-Poor choices and behaviors will cause debt. Layfield says, “The key to being out of debt is to first stop incurring debt”. Old habits have a tendency to lead you into spending more than you should be.

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Source by Michael B Bowman

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January 15, 2020
Heal Your Broken Heart With Heart Touching Poems

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Being in love is an amazing experience in itself. Countless days and nights thinking about someone and the moments you spend with them takes you in a world which is far away from reality and seems just like heaven. Lots of promises and commitments for spending the life together is an essence that can never be forgotten. Unfortunately, all the couples are not so blessed; they have to face the separation in the mean of their love journey.

Whatever the reason may be either the circumstances or the misunderstandings, it seems like all the happiness is going too far from their life. At that time one feels that he should lock himself in a dark room and keep on talking with those memories. It feels like the whole world is laughing on the separation of two hearts.

Generally, those broken heart guys love to read their previous chats, messages, and letters again and again. No one knows why people do this while the fact is it’s the power of words that take them to rewind all their memorable moments and tears automatically comes out of their eyes. World witnessed that power of word can change an enemy into a friend and vice-versa.

Love poem have proved their significant existence in the life of the broken heart guys. These love separations have given birth to popular poets. Every one of them has their own love story and unforgettable memories behind those words of the poem. If you are also among the ones that are not so blessed to have your partner with you for lifetime and one thing may work in your favor at this time.

Try to write your feelings in the form of poem instead of sharing them with all. Once people will show you sympathy but they will not listen to you again and again. And a time will come when they may also hurt you by making fun of your feelings.

Writing such poems will not only give your heart a relief but a writer may come out from you. With time it may become your hobby which may transform into strength. Though, it’s also true no one can forget their first love. But, sooner or later everyone has to overcome from this deadly experience.

Remember that, you are doing this for your own benefit. Because when you will complete one poem you will definitely feel the need to write the other. You may notice that different elements of your pain come out of your heart – at first may be pity and then regret but definitely a glimmer of hope will come someday. Just keep on writing whatever bubble ups from the heart to the surface of your mind. Always remember that time is the biggest ointment that will definitely fade out those memories from your life. No matter how far the person has moved away you will definitely learn to live a happy life.

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Source by Sarika Kataria

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January 13, 2020