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Tag: Opinion

  • Sports Figures, Drugs, and America’s Drug Problem

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    There have been a lot of sports figures in the news recently as a result of drugs. Most recently, Alex Rodriguez has been accused of steroid use. This was a major story as he appeared to be one of only a handful of “clean” baseball heroes of recent times. Just prior to the Rodriguez scandal was the Phelps scandal. If you are one of the three people in the country that haven’t heard, he had been photographed smoking marijuana from a bong. And drugs and sports grabbing headlines doesn’t stop there, as recent articles on Fox Sports have discussed steroid use among the 70’s Steelers, and the recent arrest of Corie Blount, a former NBA player, who was allegedly caught with 29 pounds of marijuana. There was also the arrest of Jacksonville Jaguar former first round pick Matt Jones for cocaine possession early in last year’s football season.

    An interesting article I read on the Phelps scandal was by sometimes controversial sports writer Jason Whitlock. In the article he challenges what some saw as a racial double standard, and even briefly discusses some of the issues with this country’s war on drugs. His article is related to some of the material I use in the course I teach on “The Psychology of Drugs and Drug Abuse.” I show highlights of a documentary called “American Drug War: The Last White Hope.” This film does a good job (although biased at times) of showing the dark side of this war on drugs.

    As an example of America’s misperception of the drug problem, were you aware that tobacco kills more people than all other drugs combined, including alcohol? According to Hart, Ksir, and Ray, smoking is responsible for about 440,000 premature deaths per year. In comparison, alcohol is responsible for at least 20,000 accidental deaths per year, and up to 75,000 in this country when you combine accidental deaths (car accidents, boating accidents, falls, etc.) and deaths from the ill affects on the body (cirrhosis, heart disease, etc.). And these numbers far surpass the deaths from illegal drugs (10-20,000 per year). In fact, illegal drugs kill less Americans then the misuse of prescription drugs. (I had difficulty getting accurate data on prescription drug deaths as a result of misuse, but most articles and sources make it clear that prescription drug misuse causes more deaths per year than illegal drugs).

    According to the documentary I mentioned earlier, some of the contributors to the war on drugs are the companies from the tobacco and alcohol industries. Additionally, this documentary uses interviews with former government officials to substantiate the claim that the war on drugs has been a colossal failure. Street drugs today are more plentiful, more pure, and cheaper. So what has the war on drugs accomplished? According to statistics, it has resulted in approximately 50% of the incarcerated population being jailed for non-violent drug crimes.

    The point is that there are some real misconceptions about the substance abuse problem in this country. Perhaps we are paying attention to the wrong things. Rather than paying attention to cuts in funding for substance abuse rehabilitation, or to the incarceration of non-violent drug offenders, we seem much more concerned with our appointed heroes gaining an advantage in a sport they get paid huge amounts of money to play. Or in someone we have chosen to put on a pedestal, (a 23y/o at that) for letting us down by using marijuana at a college party. We are worried about street drugs, including marijuana, when prescription drug abuse is causing far more damage. And we wouldn’t think of making tobacco or alcohol illegal, despite the fact it causes far more health and welfare problems than illegal substances.

    Don’t we contribute to the sports worship issue? Don’t we make sports figures heroes and role-models, perhaps even more so than more worthy role-models? Don’t we make sports the business it is today, by buying the jerseys, paying the ticket prices, watching the games on television, and making sports the market that it is? Aren’t we quick to dethrone someone who makes a mistake, as if perfection is the only standard we’ll accept?

    I am not pro-drugs. I am not sure if I am pro legalization; I would have to give the issue more thought, and I’m not even sure I’m qualified to voice an opinion. But I am certain we are looking in the wrong directions when we look at drugs in this country. I am hoping it is time for a change: a change which finds all individuals seeking self actualization without the need for a substance; a time where compassion rules, rather than self-righteous indignation. I don’t believe many of us are going to get self actualized or become enlightened watching sports on television. But it is a nice distraction sometimes. How about that Superbowl?

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    Source by William Berry

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  • Can A Spouse Have An Emotion-Based Revenge Affair And Not Realize It?

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    I get a decent amount of correspondence about revenge after an affair. Sometimes, the faithful spouse wants to (or is considering) doing something to get revenge. Other times, they are feeling the urge to want revenge but they are trying desperately to resist that urge because they know that it is not really going to help anything.

    Other times, I hear from the cheating spouse who is scared of revenge or who thinks that they might be seeing vengeful behavior (even if their spouse denies this.) Here is an example. A husband might say: “I really can not effectively tell you how sorry I am that I cheated on my wife. I really don’t know what I was thinking. And in fact I probably wasn’t thinking clearly at all. I believe that my children are the only reason that my wife did not leave me. But although she’s still here, at times she looks at me with pure hatred. Her opinion of me has obviously changed. Where she used to respect me, now she acts as if I have low morals and am just a jerk. She doesn’t really listen when I talk and half the time she rolls her eyes at me and doesn’t even try to engage me with conversation. For the past three weeks, she has been spending a lot of time with a male coworker. I didn’t say anything at first because she gets mad at me so easily. Plus I thought it would hypocritical of me to insinuate that I don’t want her to have male friends when I am the one who had an affair. But last night we were spending time with our kids and the guy called. So I lost patience and asked her about it. She said that it was her job to train the guy at work and that they had become ‘close.’ She says he makes her laugh and feel good in a way she hasn’t for a long time. I got flustered and asked her if she thought that the relationship had crossed a line and had become an emotional affair. She got very angry. She said that the last thing she would do is start up an affair considering how my affair pretty much ruined our lives. She said that she was not that stupid. But now I’m wondering if perhaps she’s started an emotional affair for revenge without even knowing it. Is that possible?”

    Anything is possible. As a spouse who has been cheated on, I can tell you that there is a vulnerability there. Being cheated on makes you doubt yourself. It makes you wonder if anyone will ever find you attractive again. It makes you wonder if everyone is going to see you as damaged. So when a man show interest in you, allows you to confide in him, and boosts your confidence, this can feel like a relief. It can feel as if it’s just what the doctor ordered. And if your spouse gets jealous and insecure, well, perhaps he deserves it.

    At the same time, I am only speaking for myself when I say that although I would have welcomed any attention, I would have never made my situation worse by actually cheating. Our family life was so broken at the time that there was no way that I was going to add to my problems by adding another infidelity into the mix. I was not in any state to be in any sort of romantic relationship.

    I’m not saying that this is how your wife feels. I can’t possibly know that. However, I also can tell you that plenty of women have men friends at work, with there being nothing inappropriate about it. Adults are capable of having friends of the opposite sex without cheating. So your wife having a relationship with a male coworker doesn’t necessarily mean that you have anything to worry about.

    Rather than accuse your wife of something that might not be true and making her feel defensive, I would place my focus on your marriage and your relationship with her rather than placing your focus on her relationship with him. Because if you can work through the issues and strengthen your marriage, then you will have more confidence that you have nothing to worry about. And your wife won’t have the need to get her emotional needs met elsewhere.

    She may not even be consciously trying to do anything inappropriate. She may just be finding relief in having someone to interact with. And it may be nothing to worry about. But, if it gives you a bad feeling, there is nothing wrong with trying to bump up your attempts to improve your marriage and to strengthen your intimacy as quickly as you can. The sooner she is getting her emotional needs met by you, the sooner she will no longer need to get it from someone else, assuming that’s what is happening right now. That said, it’s possible that you are very sensitive about something that is innocent due to the affair.

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    Source by Katie Lersch

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  • Book Summary – The Master-Key to Riches – Written by Napoleon Hill

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    This book in a nutshell is a must read for anybody wanted to improve their lives. Regardless of what area you want to improve, Napoleon Hill shows the Master-Key works. Napoleon Hill died in 1970 at 87 years old. Thus the research he did was way ahead of his time. He profiled Andrew Carnegie who created U.S. Steel and mentored Charles Schwab. Andrew Carnegie commissioned Napoleon Hill to profile successful people to see if there was a pattern. This book along with Think and Grow Rich is a combination of that research.

    Why is this important to me?

    If I was spending my precious time listening to this video then the first question I would ask is – Why is this important to me?

    This is important because Mr. Hill explains the 12 riches of life and how to achieve them. Are you where you want to be or do you need help defining true happiness? The study of the 12 riches and the Master-Key defined in this book will give you the blueprint for happiness.

    The 12 Riches of Life are: 1. Positive Mental Attitude, 2. Sound Physical Health, 3. Harmony in Human Relationships, 4. Freedom from Fears, 5. The Hope of Achievements, 6. The Capacity of Faith, 7. Willingness to Share One’s Blessings, 8. A labor of Loves, 9. An Open Mind on All Subjects, 10, Self-discipline, 11. The capacity to Understand People, 12. Economic Security.

    All 12 riches are important but for the sake of time we will dig into three of them in this summary.

    1. Positive Mental Attitude – Mental attitude is important because it converts the brain into the equivalent of an electro-magnet which attracts the counterpart of one’s dominating thoughts, aims and purposes. It also attracts the counterpart of one’s fears, worries and doubts. This basically means that you will manifest in your life that which you focus on regardless if it is positive or negative.

    2. Sound Physical Health – This one is self-evident and should be number one. In my humble opinion, without health, you cannot create anything. Health is the ultimate gift because with it, everything else is possible. This can easily be taken for granted but once it is taken from you then life changes instantly. This needs to be a priority for everybody.

    3. The Capacity to Understand People: The person who truly understands people knows that we all come from the same core. The nine emotions common, according to the book are: love, sex, desire of material gain, self-preservation, freedom from body and mind, self-expression, desire for perpetuation of life and death, anger and fear. The capacity to understand others eliminates many of the common causes of friction among men.

    The Master-Key is a combination of 17 principles when used in combination will allow you to achieve the 12 Riches of Life.

    The Master-Key consists of:

    1) Habit of going the extra mile

    2) Definiteness of Purpose

    3) The Master mind

    4) Applied Faith

    5) Pleasing Personality

    6) Habit of learning from defeat

    7) Creative Vision

    8) Personal Initiative

    9) Accurate Thinking

    10) Self-Discipline

    11) Concentration of Endeavor

    12) Co-operation

    13) Enthusiasm

    14) The Habit of Health

    15) Budgeting Time and Money

    16) Golden Rule Applied 17) Cosmic habit force.

    For the sake of time we will profile three of the seventeen.

    1. Definiteness of Purpose – Highly successful people have a defined purpose. Mother Teresa dedicated her life in helping the poor of Calcutta and through her definite purpose became world renowned and helped millions of people.

    2. The Master Mind – is a group of people that have expertise that can be leveraged toward your defined purpose. Leveraging the combined OPE (Other People’s expertise) gives a compound effect to the desired result.

    3. Habit going the Extra Mile – I like this one because the 12 Riches of Life can NOT be attained without hard, smart and right work. You have to do the thing to have the power!!!! Notice this is the HABIT of going the extra mile. Ingrain this in your mind and you will not be disappointed with the results.

    I hope you have found this short summary useful. The key to any new idea is to work it into your daily routine until it becomes habit.

    Habits form in as little as 21 days. I highly recommend you read this book and put the principles in place. To take one thing away from the summary and make it habit will be the “Habit of Going the Extra Mile”. Put this front and center and it will help you in everything you do.

    According to Mr. Hill, Going the extra mile by doing more than one is paid for – “It is the strange influence which it has on the person who does it. The greatest benefit from this habit does not come to those to whom the service is rendered. It comes to the one who renders the service, in the form of a changed “mental attitude,” which gives him more influence with other people, more self-reliance, greater initiative, more enthusiasm, more vision and definiteness of purpose. Do the thing and you shall have the power!!!!

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    Source by Joe Mosed

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  • Benefits of a Virtual Top Doctor Consultant

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    Looking for the best doctor to suite your medical needs can be a problem, especially if you don’t have time and you need to research the doctor’s credentials. Whether you’re in urgent need of help, or just need a second opinion, I will show you how to access all the information you need – through the Internet’s Virtual Top Doctor Consultant.

    Information on Doctors’ Credentials

    Many organizations house comprehensive credentials, such as licensure, status and so forth. These organizations include:

    • American Board of Medical Specialists
    • American Medical Association
    • Federation of State Medical Boards
    • Your local State Medical Board
    • Public Citizen Questionable Doctors
    • Medical Societies

    Then you have other establishments which gather up this information in their own logistical format and provide this information to consumers. Most companies provide information about doctors who have had disciplinary action taken against them. And most consumers want to know whether their doctor has had disciplinary action taken against them. At the same time, most doctors – even the best ones – are sued at one point or other during their careers. It’s important to recognize that just because a doctor has been sued (or not) does not mean he/she is incompetent, and that very often he or she is innocent of the alleged malpractice.

    What is a Virtual Top Doctor Consultant

    As you probably know by now, there are literally hundreds of different types of consultants.

    We all want the best health care possible, so why don’t we shop around for a doctor like we do for a house or car? Over the past few years, through our own surveys and methodologies, MDNationwide has designed the first top doctor searchable database, which enables YOU to find the best doctor(s) in America without ever talking to anyone.

    Virtual Top Doctor Consultant researches thousands of MDs through an extensive process, which reviews:

    • How many years the doctor has been in service (over five years).
    • Whether the doctor is board-certified.
    • Whether disciplinary action has been taken.
    • The extent of the doctors’ Internship, Residency, and Fellowship training
    • Peer and patient recognition
    • Their community involvement
    • Experience with type of surgical procedure
    • Contacting medical societies
    • Contacting hospitals

    Because YOU come first

    • For peace of mind YOU know these MDs rank amongst the highest in the US
    • We focus only on helping YOU find the best doctors through our extensive research
    • YOUR Health is in good hands virtual top doctor consultant
    • YOU have a team of professional consultants who care about YOU, not just your money.
    • No, we are not doctors, we are experts in researching and recognizing the BEST MDs.
    • Doctors don’t pay us, Health Insurance companies don’t pay us.
    • We work for YOU; without YOU ours services would not exist.

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    Source by Hugo Gallegos

    Views: 0

  • Should I Still Be Saying "I Love You" To My Separated Spouse?

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    When you are in the middle of a separation that you never wanted in the first place, it can be tempting to want to remind your spouse that they are still married to someone who still loves them very much. I know first hand that there can be a real worry that if they are outside of your presence, they will begin to forget what they loved about you. Or they will find that the phrase “out of sight, out of mind” is actually true.

    So it may be your normal inclination to tell your separated spouse that you love them every time you talk with or see them. And this is absolutely fine – so long as you are getting an enthusiastic response in reply. Unfortunately, this is not always the case.

    A wife might say: “I know that it sounds desperate and needy. But I can not help it. Every time I talk to my separated husband, I tell him that I love him right before we hang up. I have done this for all the years that I have known him and old habits die hard. At the beginning of our separation, this seemed OK. But the last couple of times, I’ve noticed that he has hesitated before he gives a response. Last night, he didn’t say anything in response. I don’t mean to be dense. Obviously, he probably thinks that I am doing something wrong or he doesn’t want to hear me tell him that I love him during the separation. But not saying it feels like a lie. It feels like playing games or holding back. Am I supposed to pretend that I don’t love him? Because I find that ridiculous. I do love him. And it seems silly to me that I am not supposed to say it every day in the same way that I have for many years. Do I have to stop?”

    That is really up to you. I would never tell someone what to do during their marriage or during their separation. I can tell you what came to be my opinion as the result of a similar situation that I was in. But, I know that all situations are different. So I can’t say that what worked for me will work for you.

    But, during my own separation, it eventually became very clear that my husband was not receptive to me acting in the same way that I did while we were still happily married. When I tried to act as if we were any other married couple or that nothing was wrong, he would act distant or he would start to avoid me. If I pushed, it would get even worse and I would have to work very hard to even get him to take my calls. Frankly, there were times when I could almost literally feel him wince when I told him I loved him.

    As hard as it was to accept, I started to realize that if I didn’t change some things, I might be making this situation a whole lot worse. So I made a conscious decision to back off some. Did this mean I didn’t love my husband? No, if anything, I loved him just as much if not more. But I knew that if I was going to have a chance to maintain that love, I was going to have to find the strategy that brought him closer to me rather than pushing further away.

    And when I tried to push my love on to him, this definitely made him pull further away. So, I toned down my demonstrations and declarations of love. I told myself that this was only temporary, but it was difficult. Still, I knew what was most important was my long term goal and not my declarations of love in the moment.

    My backing off did eventually make things better because it eventually made my husband more receptive to me again. And his being receptive to me meant that we got to spend more time together – which never would have happened if I had continued on with my pushing.

    I can’t tell you what will work in your own situation. I can only suggest that if you notice something not working, then it sometimes makes sense to test out something else – if only once. Perhaps next time you talk to your husband and it is time to sign off, you might try something like: “tonight, I’m not going to insist that I love you, even though I do. I sense that it makes you uncomfortable. But I didn’t want you to think that I was angry or anything. I’m just trying to respect your wishes and not push.”

    At this point, your husband could reassure you that the loving phrases are fine. Or, he may not say anything – in which case his silence speaks volumes. If you do decide to back off and you find that the next time you talk, he seems more comfortable, then you may speculate that backing off a little has helped.

    I know that it might seem weird and almost dishonest to hold back with your own spouse. But a separation can be a very fragile time in a relationship – especially when one spouse has asked for space or isn’t sure what he wants. It become my opinion that if backing off a little is what it took for my husband to eventually be available to me, I was willing to pay that price at the time. Because I knew that it was part of a long-term strategy that was going to mean that I wouldn’t have to hold back once we reconciled.

    Today, I tell him that I love him all of the time, so holding off was worth it to me. And I believe it helped. But every situation is different. In some situations, both spouses are perfectly comfortable with still saying they love one another. And that’s wonderful. But it was not my reality. Still, if every one is happy, then I don’t see any reason to hold back.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

    Views: 0

  • My Opinion on Sex and Love

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    Sex is not the perfect way to express your love: Rather it’s the perfect way to express love’s feelings. It’s perfect between a husband and a wife, a boy and a girl. It’s not only a physical activity, instead of it mostly a spiritual integration of two souls. It joints the spirit of the people involve. Sex is not love and love isn’t sex. Many often muddle the difference between sex and love. Most people don’t perceive that there’s a difference between them. In this note I’ll give my view on why these things are different from one another.

    Let’s start with sex. It’s something that does not often slump real feelings, real relationship or even a committed. There are few peoples who seek enjoyment from one-night stands. Often many have a ‘friend with benefits’, that’s what I would put under the sex’s category. There are never any real or deep feelings; it’s only about the enjoyment of the act. Usually when people only search to have sex, there’s very little opposite play and intimacy afterwards, the cuddling and holding of one another, well that doesn’t happen often.

    Many people are happy with having sex only for pleasure, never caring for the emotional circumstance of being in love. Often some will lope partner to partner because that’s all they’re searching that’s the instant rush and release in the sex’s pleasure. I’m one of the ones who have never been capable to do this thing. I could never jump into a one-night stand and I could never only have a “friend with benefits”. These parts are the values I’ve about lovemaking. It also, for me, means more that my friend is in love with me, and sex isn’t only about enjoyment. It’s where making love comes into play.

    When two people are in love, and who share the emotional bond with one another, they superintendence very much about making their partner feel desired and taken care of. When an individual is in love makes love to their partner, they give all their needs, not only sexually. They’ll take time by doing sex and making their lover happy. They’re careful to their partner’s every desires and needs. They get more pleasure out of tolerable them then they do themselves.

    Often times, they don’t always need to be glad while making love. Making love between couple who are in love is often intimate and slow. After lovemaking, many people that love one another will clasp and cuddle their lover like a deeper form of close affinity afterwards. It also brings the lovers together and they interconnect deeper on that soulful bond.

    Which is more essential to you in marriage?

    Love, sex or nothing…

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    Source by Sushil Chand

    Views: 0