Global Digital Store – Ebooks and Softwares

Tag: Open

  • The Catcher in the Rye: Mental Health Services and Social Connections for Children

    [ad_1]

    The Catcher in the Rye, by J.D. Salinger, was required reading for my tenth grade English class. I remembered it as a story about the struggles of adolescence, the yearning for independence, and the reluctance to let go of youth. My son is now about the same age as I was when I read the book and we are living through his own nudge for independence, which sparked my interest to give the story another read. Before I began, I wondered what my take on the book would be at this point in life having survived adolescence and received training and experience in child development in addition to having a teen in the house. This reading accentuated the unresolved grief, family dysfunction, mental illness, and lack of social connectedness of the main character, Holden Caulfield, and how these difficulties exacerbate the issues experienced during the typical maturational process. As the country still debates gun control laws in the aftermath of Sandy Hook, and as we try to recover from the Boston Marathon bombing, The Catcher in the Rye reminds us about the importance of developing meaningful and genuine connections with our children and the need to address their mental health issues.

    The Catcher in the Rye begins as a flashback story about Holden Caulfield’s experiences leading up to his nervous breakdown prior to Christmas. Holden narrates the story while receiving inpatient psychological treatment on the west coast. The events begin at Pencey Prep in Pennsylvania, where Holden has been expelled due to poor academic performance, and conclude in New York City as Holden attempts to return home. During the course of his journey, Holden attempts to make connections with a number of people however, he fails miserably due to his social ineptitude, lack of appropriate treatment for what may possibly be bipolar disorder, and inability to believe that other people are capable of being genuine. Holden eventually makes it home and connects with his younger sister. By that time he has decompensated to the point that, even though he is no longer experiencing suicidal ideations, he feels disconnected, misunderstood, and alone. Holden decides that he is going to go away, to escape from society and the rejection, the loneliness, and the pain that he feels. However, Holden makes one last trip to see his sister Phoebe before he disappears. Phoebe’s caring, anger, and innocence provide Holden with the connection he is looking for; she is both a peer and dependent to him. Through Phoebe, Holden is able to cling to his childhood and put off making the leap to young adulthood and independence.

    One theme that I was more attuned to during this reading was the unspoken dysfunction of the Caulfield family. Holden frequently compares himself to his younger, deceased brother, whom he describes as brilliant and athletic, as well as his older brother, who has become a successful author. It is suggested that Holden is a challenging child, and somewhat of a disappointment to his parents as he has been unable to live up to their expectations. He has been expelled from at least four preparatory schools due to poor academic performance, he has difficulty socially connecting with others, and he has frequent mood swings. It is possible that Holden’s parents were drained from watching their youngest son battle with leukemia which left them with little strength to effectively deal with Holden’s grief and potential disability. In Holden’s eyes, they appear to have emotionally and physically divested themselves from him. He has little to no emotional family support and what appears to be very little communication with them. Holden is left adrift to navigate this tumultuous time in his life without support, understanding, and treatment. His efforts to reach out and communicate, including failing out of schools and getting into fights, are not understood as cries for help but are seen as personal shortcomings.

    Holden perceives most people as being phony, superficial, and hypercritical. This may in part be due to his social awkwardness, lack of maturity, and feeling of being abandoned by his parents. He is continuously let down by everyone that he reaches out to for help as they either don’t live up to what Holden has built up in his mind, or they try to take advantage of him. Therefore, Holden comes to believe that everyone is phony who doesn’t or is incapable of meeting his preconceived expectations. In addition, Holden clearly experiences moments of mania during the story, which are often followed by feelings of sadness to the point where he does express some suicidal thoughts. It seems that the lack of communication with his parents, the unresolved grief and guilt over the death of his brother, and the inability to effectively and appropriately connect with others result in Holden being unable to interact with others on anything but a superficial level. The exception to this is Phoebe. Her reluctance to let her brother leave provides Holden with the strength to go home and ask for help. However, in the end, Holden continues to suffer from a lack of love and feelings of loneliness. He states, “Don’t ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.” At this point, Holden continues to find it difficult to have genuine, meaningful relationships believing that when you open up to people that they will turn away from you in order to keep the relationship on a superficial level. Holden continues to be plagued by this emotional void and, while there is a hunger for social connectedness, he will continue to experience emptiness and rejection due to his quirkiness.

    For me, reading The Catcher in the Rye in high school highlighted the struggle for independence and Holden’s war on hypocrisy. On this reading, I was able to obtain a better understanding of the tragedy that occurs as a result of Holden’s parents being unable to provide him the emotional support that he needs to overcome his brother’s death and deal with his mental health needs. Holden’s repeated failure to socially connect and develop a meaningful relationship with anyone other than his sister and the lack of treatment for his mental health issues made me think of the recent tragedies in Colorado, Sandy Hook, and Boston. It reinforced the need to take mental health needs and services seriously; just because these conditions are unseen doesn’t mean that they aren’t debilitating. Feeling cared for and connected to others reduces the stress, stigma, and isolation that are associated with these conditions. It made me wonder whether these tragedies could have been avoided if the people involved had received appropriate therapy and treatment. They may have felt connected and accepted, and these tragedies may have been avoided. The message of being accepted and cared for from The Catcher in the Rye continues to be relevant to young people today as we all strive for acceptance.

    [ad_2]

    Source by David Pino

    Views: 0

  • Review of Secrets of Self-Made Millionaire Book by Adam Khoo

    [ad_1]

    This is the first Adam Khoo book I bought, and it really caught my attention. I have heard of Adam Khoo on numerous occasions and wonder what he is like running a few successful businesses making him a self-made millionaire.

    Adam did not immediately dive in to explain the methods he used to achieve great wealth. Instead, he explained how self-made millionaires think which allows them to see opportunities where others see problems. Once you adopt the habits of a millionaire, a whole new world will begin to open to you and is fundamental to wealth creation.

    The next fundamental aspect I learned from Adam about wealth creation is to set crystal clear financial goals. All of the millionaires, billionaires in the world have at some stage of their life decided that they wanted to be rich. From there, the rich will create high level financial goals for themselves to reach within a certain time frame and a specific whole figure is often used as their target. Lets say you want to increase your monthly income to a higher figure, you need to change your strategy.

    With the goals and target set, you create a plan and execute it accordingly. If your goal is to achieve a targeted portfolio, in your plan you will provide how much you need to save and invest each month along with the rate of returns to reach your target in the allocated time frame. If your goal is to increase your monthly income, in your plan you will provide the methods of increasing your primary income source along with any other income source you need to start anew.

    With the financial plan created, you will find that it is going to be a steep uphill task to achieve the targets set in your plan. Many people give up without achieving their dreams. How do you increase your income at the rate that will allow you to achieve your targets? That’s where Adam teaches us how to massively increase our income in any career along with creating a home based internet business.

    Increasing your income in only one side of the coin. The other side of the coin is to reduce expenses. Many people get into serious debt no matter how much income they earned because they failed to manage their expenses, spending more than they earn. It is even easier to get into debt when salespeople from banks constantly push you to sign up for their credit cards. Adam illustrates the essential money skills you need to have and how to reduce expenses without lowering your current standard of living.

    When you increase your income and reduce your expenses, you will have surplus funds. We have to put this surplus funds to work for us instead of just working hard and saving alone which will not make us wealthy. Using the theory of compounding, you can turn small amounts of money into a huge amount over time with discipline. All rich people use investment vehicles to help them create their wealth and the stock market is one such vehicle. They understand both the risk and returns of the stock market allowing them to achieve returns in the range of 15%-25%.

    Last but not least we need to know how to protect our wealth after spending so much time and effort to build it. Unforeseen circumstances can happen and wipe out our wealth if we are not prepared for it. The rich always engage experts to help them protect their wealth from unscrupulous people.

    I highly recommend Adam Khoo’s Secrets of self-made millionaires if you want to learn how to build extraordinary wealth using multiple sources of income. Many areas of his book have exercises for you to practice what he has taught to accelerate your wealth creation. Get his book now!

    [ad_2]

    Source by Raymond Heng

    Views: 0

  • My Husband Says He’s Miserable With Me and Isn’t Sure He Wants to Be Married – Insights to Help

    [ad_1]

    Over the weekend, I received some correspondence from a wife who had noticed her husband acting cold and distant all weekend. He seemed to be picking fights, was clearly on edge and was showing body language and postures which indicated that something was very wrong. Of course, the wife asked him what was bothering him and he proceeded to answer with phrases like “nothing,” or “it’s just a bad day.”

    The wife was not happy with these responses and continued to press. The husband proceeded to withdrawal and act defensive. Finally, after the wife continued to follow him around and nag him, he angrily blurted out “can’t you see I’m miserable with you? If it weren’t for the kids, I’m not sure if I’d even want to be married to you.” The wife later regretted her response (which was to tell the husband that being married to him was no picnic either.)

    Later when they both calmed down, she asked him if he really meant what he said. The husband took a deep breath and said “I really don’t want to hurt you, but yes, I’m just not happy. I don’t know if it’s healthy for either of us to remain married.” The wife wanted my advice as to how she should proceed or act around him as he was clearly determined to sulk and complain. I will tell you what I told her in the following article.

    Determining What Responsibility A Wife Has In Her Husband’s Misery: The wife admitted that things weren’t perfect in her marriage. In fact, she had felt a distance growing in her marriage for some time. However, she would have never guessed that her husband was as miserable as he said he was. She suspected that he was projecting some disappointment and misery in other areas of his life and from his work onto their marriage.

    She may well have been right. This is actually quite a common occurrence. Much of the misery that he was feeling may not have initiated with her, but what was more important than it’s origin was the fact that he was equating his negative feelings with her and with the marriage. This may well be very unfair and even quite inaccurate. But, like it or not, this was her reality today and even she admitted that the marriage could use some improvement.

    So, while much of this may not have been her fault, there were certainly areas that she could address and improve. In a marriage that is working well, the spouse who is having issues with his job, his life, or his family will typically find solace and comfort in his spouse – rather than blaming her for the problem. The fact that he was doing just that indicated that there was a lot of room for improvement.

    So while the responsibility for the husband’s misery very likely did not lie totally with the wife, there was some opportunity to provide support and to let him know that she was there for him, willing to listen, and willing to help him in any way that she could – which is probably exactly what she would want for him to do if the roles were reversed.

    Beginning To Make Improvements In Your Marriage When You Husband Wants To Remain Alone In Being Miserable: When I explained some of these things with the wife, she was a bit resistant. She said that he was moping around so much that he might trip on his bottom lip. Granted, it can be hard to approach someone like this. But, she had pretty much been either ignoring him or trying to convince him either that he wasn’t as miserable as he thought, or that, if he was, this was his fault and not hers.

    Although this strategy is understandable, it’s not usually the most effective. The first step would be to calmly bring this out into the open and say your peace in a positive way that doesn’t continue to encourage or elicit his negative emotions. She might start by saying something like “I’m very sorry that you’re so unhappy right now. I love you and want for you to be happy. If there’s anything that I can do to help with this, I’m more than willing to do that. I can listen. I can offer support. I can make some shifts and changes if that’s what you need, but I can’t read your mind. Are you willing to talk about this so that we can come up with a plan to make this better?”

    I had no way to predict how the husband was going to react. I can tell you from previous experiences that some husbands will continue on with the negative act and say things like “it’s too late,” or “there’s nothing that you can do now.” Some men, though will begin to meet you half way even in the beginning. No matter what reaction you get, it’s very important that you respond in a positive manner. If they lash out, reply that you’re sorry to hear that and again offer your support. Eventually as you remain calm, supportive, and positive, it will become harder and harder to remain negative when you refuse to engage them.

    If they do tell you some things that might help, by all means meet them half way and do what you can to make things better. Although not all of this is your fault, it will only benefit both you and your marriage if you can lighten the tension, begin to identify and work on the issues, and to be the spouse that you would want your husband to be to you if the roles were reversed. If you can do this, it’s highly likely that all of the “ending the marriage” talk will begin to eventually lessen also.

    [ad_2]

    Source by Leslie Cane

    Views: 0

  • My Wife Talks to Other Men – The Ugly Truth to WHY She Does This and What You Must Do to Fix It!

    [ad_1]

    Are you unfortunate to be in a world where you’re saying my wife talks to other men, and don’t know what to do about it?

    That’s a terrible thing to witness and watch happen. I know it rips your heart out, and you want to end it fast.

    The truth is that YOU probably caused this, and that you can’t fix it by force, but only by changing some things about yourself.

    A Careful Understanding of Why You’re Stuck Wondering Why My Wife Talks to Other Men

    Here’s the deal with this problem of your wife talking to other men. We want to nip in the butt as soon as possible. But you unfortunately can’t go with your initial gut reaction of trying to stop it by force.

    But first let’s understand a couple of things about why this is happening.

    First off, if your wife talks to other men, then it’s likely that there’s something that she’s looking for that she’s not getting from you. Now that hurts to hear, but don’t worry because there’s a solution to the problem. It’ll take some work on your part but it’s only a few things that you’ll have to change.

    Second, your wife MAY be, if she’s doing this out in the open, trying to elicit a response from you. If that’s the case, then you’re still in trouble potentially but there’s a little more hope. Either way, we can fix this problem.

    What Your Wife is Missing and Why You’re Saying My Wife Talks to Other Men

    So the most likely cause of this problem is that your wife doesn’t see you as the man that she wants and actually instinctively and literally down to the core of her DNA needs!

    Therefore it’s more about what she’s NOT seeing in you, than about what she sees in these other men.

    What she’s not seeing in you are Alpha Male qualities, that each and every woman needs to see in order to be attracted to. Whether you’re in a nightclub, at the grocery store, in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, or MARRIED…the fact is that a woman must see you as a leader…an ALPHA MALE…if there’s any hope in her feeling attracted to you.

    A lot of men feel like it’s a natural thing for a wife to lose attraction to her husband after marriage, but the fact is that it’s up to you to keep the qualities that she’s attracted to.

    She needs a leader, someone who displays that they’re in charge. There are a few traits that you must possess for her to see you as that sort of man that I don’t have room in this article to go over.

    However, the overall picture is that if you’re saying my wife talks to other men, then she doesn’t see you as her alpha male, and if you become that she’ll have no more reason to look for it in other men at all.

    [ad_2]

    Source by Jason T. Nelson

    Views: 0

  • Finding Your Wealthy Place – Five Steps of Entering Your Wealthy Place

    [ad_1]

    You can enter into your wealthy place. It is important however to indicate that such is not an overnight thing. It is a process. Never try to take shortcuts. The good news is that there are sure steps you can follow to reach your wealth place. They are described as follows:

    1. Know and Understand That There Is a Wealthy Place in God

    Not every believer knows that he or she has a wealthy place. That is the reason some believers do not bother working on becoming wealthy. They think having a job is enough. But having only a job cannot make you wealthy. You need to also do something apart from your job. Do business and or invest where you can make money. A paycheck normally meets life’s necessities. But you also have wants. What about them. You need abundance. If only your needs are met, how are you going to be a blessing to the nations (to others).

    “I will bless you and make your descendants into a great nation. You will become famous and be a blessing to others.

    I will bless anyone who blesses you, but I will put a curse on anyone who puts a curse on you. Everyone on earth will be blessed because of you.” (Genesis 12:2-4).

    Abraham was promised a blessing and becoming great if he obeyed. Guess what? He obeyed and was blessed to be a blessing. So shall you be blessed if only you will obey. Someone might say, “Ah! This was said to Abraham and his descendents i.e. his seed.” Just look at the following scripture:

    “So if you belong to Christ, you are now part of Abraham’s family, and you will be given what God has promised.” (Galatians 3:29 – Contemporary English Version). Other versions say we are Abraham’s seed. I hope you know the song, “Abraham’s blessings are mine.” We used to sing that song but I don’t hear much of it today. So we are saying you are blessed.

    If you have been praying and confessing but still broke, revisit the Word and see what God is saying about issues of money. There is a wealthy place. We read in Psalm 105:37, “He [the Lord] brought them forth also with silver and gold: and there was not one feeble person among their tribes.” Do you see the GREAT God we serve? He does not want us to go empty handed. He is a God of abundance. I hope you remember the Father who had two sons (parable of the prodigal son). In Luke 15:11-12, it is recorded, “And the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the portion of goods that falleth to me. And he divided unto them his living.” A good Father has a portion for everyone of his sons. As sons of God, our Father has a portion for everyone of us. Find your wealthy place. It is your portion.

    2. Locate Wealth

    Maybe you are asking yourself, “What is the wealthy place?” This is a place of more than enough. Here are other lands:

    Land of “not enough”

    We have our excuses for dwelling in this land. Excuses like, “Brother, not everyone is supposed to be rich. So I am OK the way I am. I am fine.” Others say, “I don’t want much my sister. I love the Lord. I pray and read the Bible. I am satisfied with what I have.” But you see, these are all religious excuses. There is abundance. Most of us know this land. Many passed through it. It is a land of struggling in life.

    Then thine heart be lifted up, and thou forget the Lord thy God, which brought thee forth out of THELAND OF EGYPT, from THE HOUSE OF BONDAGE. (Deuteronomy 8:14).

    It is time to come out of this land in Jesus Name. It does not glorify God in any way.

    The Land of ‘Just Enough’

    Most people in life park in the land of “just enough.”They are not trying to justify why they are here. They are satisfied with being here. They have just enough and are barely getting by. But they are satisfied. When you are satisfied you don’t fight for anything. You will not fight for your rights or try to have more. But this is not good enough child of God. It is true that God brings us to one land at a time. Why?

    “And thou shalt remember all the way which the Lord thy God led thee these forty years in the wilderness, to humble thee, and to prove thee, to know what was in thine heart, whether thou wouldest keep his commandment, or no.

    And he humbled thee, and suffered thee to hunger, and fed thee with manna, which thou knewest not, neither did thy fathers know; that he might make thee know that man doth not live by bread only, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of the Lord doth man live.” (Deuteronomy 8:2, 3).

    During the wilderness experience, the Israelites were allowed to have “just enough”. God fed them with manna for each day. They were not allowed to gather more. Some tried and the manna got rotten and infested with worms. They were still on their way to their “wealthy place”.

    Through the stages of our walk to the wealthy place there is a learning process. In the land of “not enough” you learn to depend on God for your needs (deliverance). Then in the land of “just enough” you learn that God can move you from one level to another. You need to demonstrate more trust on God. Furthermore, you learn to be trustworthy. God should trust you to be the guardian of His wealth. Some testing takes place. You must be seen to be faithful on the little so that much can be given to you.

    The Land of ‘More Than Enough’

    As children of God, we should all be headed to this land. The question is, “Why is it important to get into this land i.e. the wealthy place? This is because once you are in this land; you can help your neighbor. This is part of knowing and fulfilling your covenant. God said to Abraham, “… I will bless thee… and thou shalt be a blessing” (Gen. 12:2). In other words, God told Abraham, “I will bless you and your family so much that you will have to give some of your blessings away.”

    3. Be Willing to encounter obstacles and giants

    As you are willing to encounter obstacles and giants, withstand them using the Word of God. Many believers are not even willing to go into their wealthy place. They are not even thinking about it. Do you know why? It is because there are giants. Have you noted how difficult and challenging to get more money? The reason is that there are giants in the wealthy place. There has to be some fighting and perseverance to enter there.

    “And they [the twelve spies] told him [Moses], and said, We came unto the land whither thou sentest us, and surely it floweth with milk and honey; and this is the fruit of it.

    NEVERTHELESS the people be strong that dwell in the land, and the cities are walled, and very great: and moreover we saw the children of Anak there.” (Number 13:27, 28).

    Not child of God that this was their wealthy place. God had given it to them. They were supposed to go and take it with God’s support. That is how some of us believers react to the promises of God. We have heard the promises given. But because of the obstacles and challenges, we end up not willing to go forward. We decide to settle for less. There will indeed be resistance. God wants to see us moving forward and then He will support us. Believe the Word and do it in Jesus Name.

    Have a good attitude towards the Word of God. Be willing to obey. Look at the attitude of a believer who trusts God:

    In Numbers 13:30, Caleb said, “… Let us go up at once, and possess it; for we are well able to overcome it.” Does it mean this believer didn’t see the giants? He saw them. But he saw God bigger than the giants. Now, who is magnified in your life? Is it God (His Word) or the giants? There is a wealthy place to be possessed. The other spies saw themselves as grasshoppers in the eyes of the giants except Joshua and Caleb. Guess what happened? Out of the generation that came out of Egypt, only Joshua and Caleb entered the “wealthy place”. Why? The believed and acted on the Word of God. Do you believe the Word? Are you going to act on it?

    4. Expand your capacity to receive Wealth

    In order to enter into your wealthy place, you need to cooperate with God. Have an excellent spirit like Joshua and Caleb. The reason why those who died in the wilderness without entering into the place of plenty is that they did not have the capacity to receive the wealthy land. Do not die in the wilderness. The place of “just enough” or place of “not enough”.

    Some way or another, if you are going to receive in life what God has for you, you are going to have to be willing to take a step forward in faith from the mess you are in, toward the promise of God. When you do, God will meet you there. If your faith is really in God and His Word, your faith will not be denied- not now, not ever!

    “If ye be willing and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land” (Isaiah 1:19). Allow God to enlarge you by the power of His Word and Spirit.

    5. Step Five: Take the limits off God

    If there is something that can hinder God’s full manifestation in our lives, it is our unbelief. Otherwise God is more than willing to take us to our wealthy place. He works in our lives to the extent that we believe and allow Him. He cannot force His way.

    “Yea, they TURNED BACK and TEMPTED GOD,and LIMITED THE HOLY ONE OF ISRAEL.” (Psalm 78:41).

    You are the only one that can limit God. After you have removed the limits, adjust your vision. God once told Abraham that as far as his eyes would see, that land He was going to give to him. You can receive only what you can see. It is all in the Word. The question is, “Can you see it with your physical eyes closed?”

    You remember Elisha’s servant Gehazi? When attacked by the Syrians he was afraid but Elisha told him not to. Why? There were angels all around them. Look at the following:

    “And when the servant of the man of God was risen early, and gone forth, behold, an host compassed the city both with horses and chariots. And his servant said unto him, Alas, my master! how shall we do?

    And he answered, Fear not: for they that be with us are more than they that be with them.

    And Elisha prayed, and said, LORD, I pray thee, open his eyes, that he may see. And the LORD opened the eyes of the young man; and he saw: and, behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire round about Elisha. (2 Kings 6:15-17).

    In the Name of Jesus Christ, I pray that your eyes may be opened and that you may see all that the Lord has prepared for you.

    Blessings in Jesus Name!

    [ad_2]

    Source by Elphas Sipho Mdluli

    Views: 0

  • Finding Emotional Intelligence in Negative Emotions – Positive Purpose in Sadness Anger and Fear

    [ad_1]

    Emotional Intelligence is severely undervalued. When you feel stuck, frustrated, stressed, upset, or overwhelmed, skillful emotional awareness is the key to moving forward. Underneath your upset is a specific emotion that can guide you. The key, then, is to understand the messages in your feelings and become skillful in using their energy appropriately.

    Even so-called “negative emotions,” such as sadness, anger, and fear, convey important information and energy to carry out specific actions that can help you and others. Emotions arise with a purpose and when this purpose is fulfilled the feeling subsides. Unfortunately, as a society, we have not learned to understand and sufficiently value emotional energy and information, so we tend to deal with these feelings crudely.

    For example, with an emotion like anger, you might express it explosively or shove it under the surface, because you do not want to act angrily. Either you express your feelings reactively or cease feeling altogether.

    Emotional Intelligence expert, Karla McLaren, describes a healthy third alternative. She says you can facilitate the healthy flow of emotions by consciously “channeling” the information and energy that emotions provide. In other words, emotions contain meaningful messages along with energy to do something related to those messages. This is true for so-called “negative” emotions as well as “positive” ones.

    For example, McLaren suggests that:

    • ANGER arises when you, or someone or something you love, is threatened and you need to take protective action or set a firm boundary.

    • SADNESS arises when you need to let go of what no longer serves you or what is past, so you can move forward.

    • FEAR arises to prompt you to take preventative action.

    • JOY prompts you toward expansive, expressive, creative action.

    • COMPASSION prompts you to care for others.

    So, every emotion has a MESSAGE and ENERGY to carry out a specific type of action. Tuning into your emotions helps you to receive these messages and take these actions.

    Let’s explore the first three of these emotions in more depth. Sadness, anger, and fear are often misunderstood and handled poorly. We tend to repress them, stay stuck in them, or express them unskillfully, with negative consequences.

    So, as you work with these emotions, it’s important to do so Mindfully. Approach them as a curious observer with an attitude of paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, without judgment. Know that emotions are simply information about yourself, others, and events, along with energy to do something about this information. They do not define who you are and they will pass as you gather their information and take appropriate action.

    (Note: If you feel overwhelmed or paralyzed by feelings to the point where you are unable to consciously process them yourself, seek the assistance of a counseling professional who is trained to work with intense emotions.)

    The Positive Purpose of Sadness

    The purpose of sadness is to enable you to let go of what is no longer working or what is past and finished. Sadness is a watery downward-flowing energy that enables you to release what no longer serves you, so you can return to fluidity and flexibility in your life.

    By allowing appropriate sadness to flow through you, you’ll make space for new energy and new possibilities. If you do not consciously acknowledge sadness or don’t know how to flow with it, you’ll bury it inside, where it will perpetually cycle, or you’ll get lost in the feeling and be overwhelmed.

    Here’s a practice adapted from Karla McLaren’s book, “The Language of Emotions,” that can help you consciously process feelings of sadness.

    1. When you feel sadness flood into you, take some quiet, private time to center into the feeling. Tune into the sensation of sadness, locate where it resides in your body, and approach it with curiosity to learn what it has to tell you.

    2. Take a deep in-breath as if you are filling your whole body with your breath. As you exhale, make a sighing sound, and feel the energy of your sadness flowing like water down through your body, through your legs and feet, and down into the ground.

    3. Stay centered in your inner space and ask your sadness the question: “What needs to be released or let go right now?” Don’t rush to fill in an answer. Instead, keep the question open. Listen and feel inside.

    Repeat your sighing breath down through your body as many times as you feel the need and keep your question open for your deeper knowing to respond. You may find you know right away what you need to release or you may find it becomes clear later. Either way, tuning into sadness (or any emotion) mindfully initiates a process of discovery and integration that will help you move forward.

    The Positive Purpose of Anger

    Anger arises to create and preserve personal boundaries and safeguard personal space. You feel angry when a personal boundary or the boundary of someone or something you care for is disrupted or violated. When you are able to identify the source of the perceived threat and use the energy available in anger to strengthen your personal space and take appropriate action, anger will recede. It will have accomplished its purpose.

    Here’s a practice adapted from McLaren to gather the information and use the energy in your anger:

    1. When you feel anger rising, focus inside your body and become more in-touch with the felt sensation. Approach the feeling with curiosity to learn more about it.

    2. Take a deep in-breath. As you exhale, imagine and feel as if the energy in your anger travels outward into a sphere about an arms-width around you, your personal boundary, strengthening it with a brilliant color. Do this until you feel a shift in your energy, so you are witnessing, feeling, and working with the energy in your anger without being consumed by it.

    3. Ask your anger this question: “What needs to be protected or restored?”

    4. Then ask, “What action will restore healthy boundaries and protect what is important?”

    These questions help you identify what feels threatened, so you can take appropriate action. Try this when anger arises and see how it works for you.

    The Positive Purpose of Fear

    We’ve been told “Fear is what holds us back” and “The only thing to fear is fear itself.” If we can just overcome our fears, we’ll be able to live full-out and realize our hopes and dreams. But, what if this perennial wisdom regarding fear is missing something? What if fear in its essential form is one of our wise guides?

    Emotions have three primary forms: unconscious reactive expression, a repressed cycling state, and a healthy free-flowing state. It may be that we are only familiar with the first two forms of fear: a reactive expression that makes us cower and a repressed state which creates constant low-level anxiety.

    Fear in its healthy free-flowing form is something altogether different. What if fear can signal intuitive awareness of something that needs attention? What if it can alert you to important action?

    This form of fear is a sixth sense that reaches out through your personal space to pick up signals about what is happening inside you, with others, and in your environment. Fear can alert you to what is happening in your own body. It can alert you to the actions and intentions of the people around you and to conditions in the environment. When you learn to discern this information, it can help you can choose wise actions.

    To learn to use fear as a wise guide, try this simple practice:

    1. When you feel fear arising, take a quiet, private moment to center into the feeling. Tune into the sensation of fear, locate where it resides in your body, and approach it with curiosity to learn what it has to tell you.

    2. Take a deep in-breath as if you are filling your whole body with your breath. As you exhale, imagine and feel that your breath fills the sphere of your personal space about an arm’s width around your entire body. Sense into your personal space and into the wider space around you and search for subtle signals. For example, you might be drawn to an area inside your body or to look at something or someone in your environment. You might feel the urge to move toward or away from something.

    3. Stay centered in your personal space and ask your fear the question: “What action needs to be taken right now?” Don’t rush to fill in an answer. Instead, keep the question open. Listen and feel inside. See what presents itself. You may have an inspiration to take a specific action.

    It can take time to learn to discern guiding signals. As best as you can, be patient. The simple action of tuning into emotional signals is a cultivated skill. You’ll grow your ability to sense inner guidance from fear and all your emotions through mindful practice over time.

    You’ll also learn to discern the quality of signals that represent accurate present guidance from false interpretations based on painful past experiences. There’s a different felt quality to accurate versus false guidance. False guidance may feel alarming, stressful, or rushed. It is fixated on what happened in the past or overly-anxious about the future. Accurate emotional guidance has a matter-of-fact, present, forward-moving quality, that feels like perfect timing.

    So, in summary, as emotions come up, instead of being wary of them, what if you welcome them, become curious, and ask:

    • What is the sensation of this emotion in my body?

    • Exactly what emotion is this?

    • What is the message in this feeling?

    • What is it asking me to do?

    [ad_2]

    Source by Kevin Schoeninger

    Views: 0

  • Your Doctor Says It's Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, Now What?

    [ad_1]

    Hopefully you've been heeding my advice and you've gone to see your doctor about your hand pain. I'm going to guess that if he told you that he thinks you have carpal tunnel syndrome, he probably gave you a brace (or splint) and told you to come see him in a month. Hopefully he has referred you to a hand therapist or hand surgeon, and now you're just waiting to see what happens next. Don't panic. Once you understand what's involved, I think you'll feel a lot better.

    So, let's talk about that. What IS next?

    First of all, let's talk about what carpal tunnel syndrome really involves. Because if there is something that I've learned over the years, it's that people don't get a good explanation of what is really going on inside their hand. And as I always say, knowledge is power.

    Your "carpal tunnel" is a space in the base of your palm that is formed by several wrist bones and a thick ligament. Imagine it like this: Make an "O" shape between your thumb and your index finger. Now, hold your arm in a way that forces your palm to be facing the ceiling. The bottom half of the circle is a group of bones. The top half of the circle is a ligament. You've just created a mock-up carpal tunnel.

    Through that "tunnel", you have several tendons (that make your fingers bend) and one very important nerve that operates your thumb muscles and also gives you sensation to your thumb, index, middle, and part of your ring finger. Over time, if those tendons swell, they will crush the nerve against the wall (which is the ligament we talked about earlier) and that pinches the nerve, forcing it to stop working well. Usually, your first symptom is numbness or tingling, then hand pain at night, and eventually you start dropping things because your thumb is getting weaker (and you can't feel properly).

    This information is good to have so that you understand WHY the doctor wants you to wear a splint. See, when you bend your wrist in either direction, you pinch the (already irritated) tunnel more, which cuts off the nerve supply and makes your symptoms worse. The purpose of the splint is to keep your wrist "straight" so that the tunnel is as open as possible. Sometimes a splint is all you need to completely recover. Problem solved!

    Go ahead and make that "O" again with your thumb and index finger. Now leave a slight gap where your fingers should be touching. When a surgeon performs a carpal tunnel release, he is simply cutting that ligament in half so that it relieves the pressure that has been squishing the nerve. He does not remove anything. He just opens up the space so that your nerve can "breathe" again. Easy peasy! You will usually have to take it easy for a few weeks, and maybe spend another few in therapy, but after that, you are as good as new!

    See? That's not so bad.

    [ad_2]

    Source by Aleks Dukinas

    Views: 0

  • How Does Relationship Building Techniques Build Your MLM Business?

    [ad_1]

    Relationships are key in life, without them; life would be so boring. MLM marketing is based on creating strategic relationships between teammates and the audience of the individual business. This means that one has to work carefully to build trust and authority with the target market. By doing so with authoritative content and reliable timing, relationships will blossom and grow. Thus, creating a pipe line to send dedicated content towards motivated prospects. Failing to create elementary content not only discredits the publisher, but also kills all sales potential. Let’s open the door to relationship building techniques that will help.

    Create content that doesn’t sell but builds your reputation

    Never push content that sells, this is a horrible practice for MLM marketing. Create content that builds your business reputation up. This means promoting content that entertains or has a high level of educational value. There are so many businesses out that already overly pushes sales content, there is no need for you to do the same. Your marketing content is supposed to be attractive, not repulsive. This means every blog, article, eBook or landing page must educate through problem solving of some degree. There are ways to get sales, but to do so, one must push the agenda of their prospects first.

    To build relationships in MLM marketing, the content that is needed will vary. You will need basic content that covers a general situation to content that absolutely solves a specific problem. This is how you define your leads, by sharing all types of educational content. Your prospects will not always be in the same boat as the next person. So, to be effective, you must share content that targets symptoms first, then develop content that nails down some of the symptoms and then finally offer the cure through the final. The last content you can develop is the follow up content that offers advanced material to help the prospect go beyond the basic package.

    Specialize by focusing on your prospects growth

    Help your prospects grow in some fashion. This can be in life, or some other area that you have specialized skills in. In this capacity, your relationships are more specific and narrowed down in which the others in your area cannot touch. Lead by example, offer free and premium content for your visitors and subscribers. This will distract your prospects enough to keep them engaged. Not all of your content will be successful, so the smart marketer will always engage in analytics to help sort the weeds from the wheat and develop themselves and their content for the successful campaign. These techniques have enabled many new marketers to climb the ladder and enjoy an effective business.

    [ad_2]

    Source by David L. Feinstein

    Views: 0

  • 5 Tips for Dating Slavic Women

    [ad_1]

    Depending on how young is the lady you fancy and where she had grown up (in a western country or somewhere in Russia, Belarus, or Ukraine), she will behave more or less like the typical Slavic woman. Girls who grew up in western countries may behave similar to western females. But if she finished school in countries of the post-USSR, then she definitely will have some specific expectations that you need to take in consideration in your approach.

    1. Dress up.

    A well dressed man is a pleasant sight for most females. But Slavic women dating rule book has a special place for an elegant man, as Russian, Ukrainian ladies love to dress up themselves. If you look sloppy, she will not feel comfortable and may decide you are not a suitable match. Wearing a jacket, nice pants, and a collared shirt with laced-up shoes will make you look more attractive for women of Slavic origin.

    2. Bring flowers.

    Most westerners think it’s too much to give a woman flowers on the first date. But if a woman is from the former USSR, she expects it as a necessary gesture of adherence to the polite courtship ritual (as opposed to a guy simply trying to pick her up). FSU dating culture still insists on a man bringing a bouquet for a lady on the first date, or she will think you do not respect her. How do you find out if the Slavic girl you have a date with expects flowers from a man? Ask her if she likes flowers. If she says, “Of course!”, then ask her what kind of flowers she likes. If she can give you an instant answer, she is definitely into the “flower dating culture” and you are safe to bring a bunch of pretty blossoms. (Sure, if she says she doesn’t like flowers, no need to do it.)

    3. Court her.

    Courting means looking after your girl on a date as if she was a dainty lady: Open doors, move chairs, offer your hand when she exits a car, hold her coat for her to slip in. Things that gentlemen used to do for their ladies in 1950s. (Ask your grandmother if you struggle to understand what it’s all about.) These little gestures are still in vogue among Slavic girls and she will be really impressed, as most westerners don’t do it. That’s a sure way to separate yourself from all the other guys trying to woo her.

    4. Make decisions.

    Every Slavic girl wants to meet a “real man”. What does she mean by that? Someone who is decisive and confident. This means, book a restaurant (you can even find a good Russian restaurant, she will approve), decide what you do before and after, ask what she is going to eat prior the waiter coming and order for her, and so on. She wants to feel that she can simply relax and rely on you. That’s what Slavic women seek in a partner.

    5. Pick the bill.

    If you offer to split expenses, this will be the last time you see your Slavic girl. In Russia and Ukraine, men still pay for dates -moreover, a Russian guy would feel insulted if a woman offered to go halves, as if she thought he wasn’t a “real man”.

    If you follow these 5 easy tips, your dates with Slavic ladies will definitely go smoother.

    [ad_2]

    Source by Elena Petrova

    Views: 0