Tag: news

  • Mindset = Being Organized

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    I think we can all agree that we hate clutter. We hate it so much we pretend it doesn’t exist. Sometimes we even hide ourselves from the world because we’re afraid of what others may think about us because of it. Being unorganized or having a home full of clutter, which we hate to admit, is thankfully something we can overcome. From experience, all it takes is patience, vulnerability and an open mind to achieve what we want in our homes and in our lives.

    Today I’m going to give you 5 simple and modern-day tips on how to change your mindset so you can become more organized.

    TIP #1: Start small

    For some reason our brains are wired to believe that we MUST complete an entire project at once. Have you ever wondered why none of your tasks or projects ever gets done on time? I bet one of the reasons may be because the project you took on was way to BIG to complete and because you were so overwhelmed, you failed to finish. Not anymore! By starting small, whether it is organizing your pen cup to completing a major project, you will avoid the stress of fulfilling that task and find yourself finishing quickly and punctually.

    TIP #2: Listen to organizing podcasts

    One of the best things you can do in the morning or as you’re driving is to stimulate your mind by listening to things that arouse your mental and physical growth. I’ve noticed in my own life and others around me that doing so has made a world of positive change in our lives. Organizing podcasts like Organize 365 or A Slob Comes Clean are 2 podcasts that have kept me motivated in times when I was lacking. One of the secrets to truly changing your lifestyle is to change our mentality and by incorporating these simple methods in your life, you will get there in no time.

    TIP #3: Create a Checklist

    This may sound cliché but to-do lists really do work – of course only if you use them. As I mentioned above, clutter is a bi%#* and in order to combat it, you will have to tackle it head on in small intervals. Here are 2 examples how checklists can be effective in helping you stay organized. 1) By using a checklist to plan out the tasks you need to accomplish at home after work, will prevent you from being overwhelmed after a stressful day 2) An effective checklist will only have your priority tasks therefore you will know exactly what needs to be done to maintain order. Checklist, lists, to-do list, plans, whatever you want to call them is a habit that needs to be implemented in your life so getting organized and staying organized can become second nature.

    TIP #4: Keep things you Truly Love

    Here are a few common responses I’ve heard when it comes to this topic:

    I love everything in my home and there’s no way I can get rid of anything! All of my stuff has a meaning behind them! Here’s a better one. I’ve spent so much money and I haven’t even worn it yet! – But it’s been 2 years…

    These are just a few examples of statements my clients have said to me when I’d suggest they should only keep things in their home they truly loved. Let me explain what this really means. Lets start with an example. We love our family (our immediate family) and though we may have favorites (wink) we love them so unconditionally that we couldn’t live a day without them. This is the type of feeling I believe you should have for the items in your home. You love your pen so much; the mere thought of it not being in your possession is utter mayhem. If you don’t have this feeling towards the items in your home then it’s probably time to part ways with it. I’d be happy to witness the department!

    TIP #5: Make it a Habit

    New studies show it takes 2-8 months to form a new habit. I know that seems like an abnormal amount of time – at least to getting organized but this is actually great news. Creating new habits shouldn’t be viewed as one and done rather as a process that will create a better outcome. Committing to an organizing system and practicing it thoroughly, though you may have hiccups, will create a positive mind and improve your organizing skills.

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    Source by Judi Igwe

    Views: 0

  • My Husband Wanted The Separation, But Now He’s Constantly Trying To Keep Tabs On Me

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    I sometimes hear from wives who are very confused about their husband’s conflicting behavior during a martial separation. Often, he is the one who initiated the separation and it seems as if he almost can’t wait to leave. But as soon as the couple are living apart, suddenly the husband wants to keep tabs on the wife or seems particularly interested in her day to day activities.

    I heard from a wife who said: “my husband has been wanting to separate for a while. I tried my best to talk him out of it, but after listening to him insist upon it for months, I finally gave in and agreed to go and live with my sister for a little while. Since he was so anxious to get rid of me, I really didn’t expect to hear from him, although I knew that I would miss him terribly. I’ve been gone only two days, but now he is constantly calling me and wanting to know what I’m doing. I will answer the phone and the first thing he says to me is ‘what are you doing’ in an almost accusatory way. The truth is, I’m not doing anything and I tell him so. Why does he even ask? He couldn’t get rid of me quickly enough and now it’s like he wants to keep checking on me. What is going on?” I’ll try to answer these questions in the following article.

    He May Just Be Missing You: Men often envision having all kinds of peace and quiet so that they can think. But, sometimes this just isn’t the reality. Sometimes all that silence brings about is loneliness. And then he can start to wonder if this was such a good idea after all. And he looks around and notices that everything around him reminds him of you. Now, it might make things easier if he would just tell you all of this, but many men will not. Instead, they’ll call you and do annoying things like asking what, or how, you are doing.

    He Might Be Feeling Insecure: It’s very common for separated spouses to admit that they at least partly suspect that their spouse might eventually see other people during the separation. Your spouse might be acting on this suspicion or just looking for reassurance, which leads me to my next point.

    He’s Trying To Determine Your Frame Of Mind: It’s common for the spouse who initiated the separation to have a strong suspicions that you are going to be resentful and angry. Therefore, he might want to keep in close touch to gauge your feelings. He may want to see if your resentment is going to drive you away. And he may be feeling some remorse for his actions.

    Taking Some Positive Implications From These Annoying Questions: I know that this is probably very frustrating. But there is some positive indications here. If he didn’t care at all, he wouldn’t be calling. If he wasn’t thinking about you at all and was living it up and celebrating his freedom, he wouldn’t be calling either. And since this wife didn’t want the separation in the first place and wanted to save her marriage, this was hopefully good news to her.

    How To Respond When He Keeps Calling And Asking What You’re Doing: First, you have to decide what you really want to happen. And ultimately, this wife wanted her husband to come home. I know that it’s tempting to say something like ‘well what do you think I’m doing? I’m sitting here staring at my sister and living in a strange place because you made me leave my own home for your silly separation,’ but this is a bad idea. Because you don’t want to discourage him from reaching out to you. Instead, you want to make him want to check in and initiate contact with you. So, as difficult as it may be, try to sound as upbeat as possible. Trying to make him feel guilty is the wrong call too, because it brings about pain and makes him want to avoid you. With that said, you don’t want to make it sound as if you are sitting by the phone waiting for his call. You want for him to know that you have too much self respect for that.

    An appropriate response might be something like: “not much. I’m just spending some time with my sister. We’ll probably go out and grab some dinner in a little while. What are you doing?”

    Notice I was light hearted and I turned the question back to him. And I alluded to the fact that no one was sitting around waiting. By asking what he was doing, you’re leaving it open ended for him to share his feelings. He might say that he’s not doing anything because he’s lonely. Or he might say that what he’s really doing is missing you. The point is to not engage with him and don’t ask him why he keeps calling you with his silly questions. Try to stay positive because this really is a good sign. It means he is interested and that he is reaching out. And not all separated spouses fall into this category. Some husbands rarely call their wives at all, let alone care about their experiences or feelings.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

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  • Are You Ready To Marry A Politician?

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    When love strikes, you cannot just turn it away. And so in many cases, women cannot easily say no when they feel it’s the right man who’s wooing them. This is regardless of the position he holds in his public or private job.

    In the case of male politicians, many people believe these people have a strong sex appeal. Their power more than their looks and personality attracts women.

    If you’re a woman being pursued by a politician, would you be willing to be married to him? Is it really difficult to become the wife of a man who’s a popular political figure? What are the challenges that lie ahead in your life?

    Based on the experiences of politician’s wives, it is never easy to be married to a political figure. One reason is that when the person in authority commits some blunder, it is the wife that suffers from embarrassment. She may also become the object of criticisms which can cause so much stress in her life.

    Another challenge that often haunts a politician’s wife is infidelity. There have been numerous cases of people in government as well as members of the senate and congress getting involved in illicit affairs to the detriment of their spouses. But through all those trials, it is often the wife who continues to stand by their men and accept them back.

    It really depends on the woman if she’s willing to become a politician’s wife. Before you make a decision, it would be a good idea to weigh things and determine whether you’re strong enough to face those possible difficulties that will come along in your life.

    In terms of personality, you need to develop a strong character. It’s an advantage if you already possess this but if not, you should find a way to gather emotional strength to enable you to hurdle life’s challenges. The process may not be that easy but at least, you’re doing your best to prepare yourself for your future situation.

    Another trait you should have is to be sociable. This is very important because you will be attending many numerous social functions and civic activities while your husband is in politics. By knowing how to interact with people from all levels of society, you can contribute to your partner’s positive image and you’ll also learn more about the issues in the community where you live in.

    Patience and tolerance are vital traits as well. Your husband may get involved in various issues that could impact your family life so you need to stretch your patience more often than not. With his busy schedule, he will surely not have enough time for his family so again, your patience is necessary.

    Finally, you can always seek marriage counseling if you’re having difficulty dealing with your life. You may just have to keep it to yourself that you’re attending counseling sessions as the moment this leaks to the media, you’ll become the subject of news once again. Being discreet then is another trait you need to practice.

    Being married to a politician is no joke but if you think the man is worth your love, then nobody can stop you.

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    Source by Kalyan Kumar

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  • Tony Robbins – Personal Power II – Day 17 – Wealth Conditioning

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    “Money is nothing but a means to measure the exchange of value between people.”

    ~ Tony Robbins

    Many of us have pain associated with wealth in an approach/avoidance dance. Because of events in our past, we can call these “wealth wounds”. There can be lots of sensitivity about financial issues and so if these wounds are not healed, it is impossible to gain a ton of financial resources.

    Generally speaking, poverty and lack brings out the worst in people and abundance brings out the best. People who are living in poverty tend to have the highest criminal records, the most drug use and the most unhappiness. Being one of the consistently broke group of people doesn’t help you or the group. You can do more good by becoming wealthy in order to be able to give back.

    There are seven reasons why most people never make it financially.

    1). They associate negative things to having or making money. Remember, the past does not equal the future.

    2). They do not set having an abundance of money as an absolute must. Unless we decide what is a necessity, not an option, how can there be any improvement?

    3). Having an effective strategy of building wealth is non-existent for them. To condition yourself for great wealth, strategies must be developed for

    • attracting money into your life
    • managing your dollars
    • sharing your money, which will give you much happiness

    4). They are unable to follow through consistently on their financial goals. Finding ways for your money to work for you, such as harnessing compound interest which can take a lot of pressure off if you have time to watch it grow.

    5). They depend too much on the “experts.” There is no one who cares more about your money than you do. Experts are valuable, but you need to take care of your money and taxes. If you make errors in these types of decisions and planning, you will be ultimately responsible, not your professional.

    6). They become financially complacent. Many people take their wealth for granted. Whatever you fail to use, you will lose. It is a good idea to note that if you do well with what you have, you’ll be able to get more and, if you don’t actively create welth, itwhat you have will be taken from us. Don’t hoard what you have.

    7). They allow financial challenges go from bad to worse into financial ruin. Most likely, the road to wealth is not a straight line. If and when problems arise, stay in the game and ask great questions to help get back on track.

    Be willing to transform crisis into opportunity. By having financial faith, you can learn from the situation and find even more opportunities.

    The assignment:

    Give yourself a financial checkup to find out your “wealth wounds” so you can heal yourself quickly:

    1). Ask yourself to list the beliefs that you have that hold you back.

    2). Is there a specific amount of money that is an absolute MUST? Is this number the “must” for your life, or is this number the ability to live comfortably by paying your current bills?

    3). “Never leave the site of setting a goal or making a decision without taking some action towards its fulfillment. Make sure you do some action to set you on the course for financial mastery.

    4). Find something in today’s session to start feeling like you’re making progress. Remember, tiny actions lead to a pattern of habits which ultimately can be used to create the financial freedom we all deserve.

    5). You can make a list of financial terms or aspects of financial management that are not fully understood. Find the people or resources who cn provide answers about these things.

    6). Remember we talked about complacency? Write a paragraph about the “why” you will follow through with your plan and avoid complacency. Recognize the excuses you used in the past. Mastery is the only option now.

    7). Ultimately, what frees us from fear, is the belief that we are much more than anything that could ever happen to us financially. Write down one or two situations that seemed very difficult that you pulled yourself through. Remind yourself that you have this capacity to turn challenges into success.

    Sometimes our “wealth wounds” are most tender to try and heal, but the good news is that there are ways to heal them. One way is to find someone who has successfully gotten where you’d like to be. You can “model” after their example if you find out exactly what they did and then follow that pattern.

    Taking the time to do these exercises will teach you more about yourself. Fine tuning the skills in this lesson will provide additional ways to condition yourself for success.

    Onward.

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    Source by Deb Bauer

    Views: 0

  • Conservative Radio Host’s Prescription Drug Addiction Story

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    In recent years, the prescription drug addictions of many public figures have come to light. One of the most tragic personal prescription drug addiction stories in recent years is that of radio commentator Rush Limbaugh. He achieved a level of fame, wealth, and influence that most people would envy, but he dealt with a privately devastating prescription drug addiction.

    Rush Limbaugh is a prominent conservative talk show host and author. Around 20 million listeners tune into his radio show Monday through Friday. He wrote several books that have become bestsellers and have sold millions of copies. His conservative opinions (including calls for personal responsibility and clean living) and quick wit made him a national superstar; many people were shocked when it developed that he was addicted to drugs, himself.

    In October of 2003, Palm Beach County Police linked Rush Limbaugh to the illegal black market of prescription drugs. Limbaugh admitted that he had become addicted to prescription pain medication several years earlier, when he underwent a spinal surgery. The surgery was unsuccessful and the radio commentator continued to experience excruciating pain in his lower back and neck. He claimed that he checked himself into treatment centers on two previous occasions to try to quit using the pain pills.

    Though Limbaugh spoke out against drug use many times on his radio broadcast, he came clean about his own problems soon after the story broke in other news outlets. He made no excuses for his addiction and entered a treatment center for a third and final time.

    Rush Limbaugh has since returned to his radio show and claims that he is now drug free, but the ordeal lost him the respect of some of his former listeners and provided those who disagree with his views evidence that he is a hypocrite.

    While Rush Limbaugh recovered relatively quickly from his addiction, he went through many hard times before being able to cure his addiction, and the severe hearing loss he suffered was likely a result of the drugs he was taking. The hearing loss seems to have been adequately resolved with the use of a cochlear implant. However, many personal prescription drug stories do not end as well as Limbaugh’s; some end in death.

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    Source by Damian Sofsian

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  • Weight Loss – How I Went From 340 to 199 Pounds, Part 1

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    I spent two years losing over 140 pounds the old fashioned way: proper diet and exercise. No fads. No pills. No surgery. No crazy machines. I was 30 years old and 340 pounds. With a history of heart disease and obesity in my family, I decided it was time to shed the pounds.

    Almost every day I get people I haven’t seen in years coming up to me saying “Wow! You look great!” and then the next question… “What have you been doing?” That’s why I wrote this article.

    Disclaimer

    Now, of course, as a general disclaimer, I have to say that the tips I’m sharing with you here are just from my own personal experience. I’m not a professional health expert – although over the past couple of years I’ve read dozens of books, and hundreds of articles on nutrition, exercise, and weight lifting. I’m not a doctor. You should, of course, seek your own doctor’s advice before starting any kind of a weight-loss or exercise plan. I firmly believe that with the right diet and proper exercise, almost anyone should be able to lose weight and get fit safely.

    Tip 1. It’s All About Calories

    First, the bad news. Weight gain and loss is directly tied to the amount of calories you eat versus the calories you expend through exercise. What’s a calorie?

    A calorie is a unit of heat energy. Specifically, it’s the amount of heat energy required to raise 1 gram of water by 1 degree Celsius. How this relates to your body is that when you eat food, the food molecules are broken down chemically and that energy is either used by your body to perform work (like building muscle, or constructing new cells) or is stored (as fat). If you take in more calories than you burn, you will start to get fat.

    Now, in the world of calories, it takes 3500 calories to equal one pound of body weight. So, if you take in an extra 3500 calories in your diet this week without exercising, congratulations… you’ve just gained one pound (probably all body fat). The good news is that you can lose one pound of fat by either removing 3500 calories from your diet, or adding 3500 calories of exercise to your weekly schedule, or a combination of the two.

    What’s 3500 calories? It’s actually not much if you’re eating the wrong kinds of food. You can consume 3500 calories in one meal if you eat two Double Whoppers (1010 calories each), a King Size order of french fries (590), a King Size onion rings (600), and a chocolate shake (440). Don’t laugh… this is what I used to eat for dinner if my family went to Burger King… or something similarly outrageous.

    So the bottom line here is that if you want to lose weight, you have to create a calorie deficit. That means you have to burn off more calories than you eat. You had to eat more calories than you burned to get fat… now you have to reduce the calories to get lean. It’s that simple. In order to know how many calories you’re taking in and burning off, you need to write them down.

    Tip 2. Eat Frequently Throughout the Day

    Think of your body as a furnace. You want your furnace to burn fuel as efficiently as possible. In order for that to happen, you need to let it burn hot and steady throughout the day.

    You need to stoke your fire often to keep it burning. Keep your metabolism running all day long by eating every 3 to 4 hours. My personal tip: I eat on hours evenly divisible by 3. That means breakfast at 9am (if I’m up that early), lunch at noon, a snack at 3pm, dinner at 6pm, a snack at 9pm, and if I’m still up another snack at midnight.

    Now, I personally work late (I usually get most of my “real work” done between the hours of 10pm and 2am) but if you need to eat at different hours, that’s fine… Just take the total number of calories you’re going to eat throughout the day and divvy them up into 3-hour intervals. Keep that fire stoked! If you can’t take a break at work to eat every 3 hours, bring a protein bar with you.

    If you skip breakfast, then you’re extremely hungry by the time lunch comes around. Skip lunch, and you’re more likely to gorge yourself at dinner. Why? Your body is saying, “Hey! I need food badly!” If you feed yourself often, throughout the day, your body doesn’t go into shock, and you won’t get those wild cravings and hunger pangs when it’s time to eat.

    Tip 3. Start a Food & Exercise Journal

    Don’t just dismiss this section. I did! The first couple of times I read about doing this in fitness and weight-loss books, I said to myself, “I don’t have the time to do this.” But you know what – it really works!

    I cannot stress how important it is to write everything down that you eat. All you need is a little notebook. Make four columns: what you ate, how much of it you ate, how many calories were in it, and what time of the day you ate it. It’s that simple. Also write down any exercise or other activities that are more strenuous than just sitting around.

    Taking the time to recognize what you’re eating is the first step to losing weight. A lot of people truly don’t realize how much crap they’re eating. When I first started doing this – and writing down everything I was eating – it really opened my eyes to the volumes of junk food I was eating before. I was a slave to cookies, chocolate, chicken wings, and pizza. When I first took the time to look up the fact that a chicken wing has 150 calories in it (yes, one wing), I was astounded. I used to eat 20 wings and 2 or 3 slices of pizza for dinner.

    Now you can get yourself one of those little calorie counter booklets from your favorite book store. Sometimes you’ll even see them in the grocery store. They’re invaluable. Once you get to know the foods you eat on a regular basis, keeping track of what you eat is really quite simple. You will gain a better appreciation for what you’re putting in your body.

    So please, please, please, take my advice and journal everything you eat. You do NOT have to do this for the rest of your life… just until you hit your goal weight. By that time, you’ll be able to keep a good mental track of what you’re eating, and you’ll be more aware of what you should eat, and how much exercise you should be getting every week.

    Also, you do not have to obsess over every little calorie! Counting your calories can be as detailed as you like. If you want to track every last celery stick, by all means do so. However, you can just round your calories off to the nearest 10, or 20. Don’t worry whether or not something contains 24 or 26 calories. In the end, it doesn’t make that much of a difference… but whether something has 100 or 200 calories does.

    The important thing… and I cannot stress this enough… is write everything down!

    Tip 4. Eat The Right Amount of Calories

    We’re not going to starve ourselves! In fact, proper weight loss is best accomplished by eating more frequently than you’re probably used to! Let me say that again: you’re going to eat more food than you are right now. You’re going to eat better food, more often, but at a lower calorie intake. If you’re like I used to be, you’re probably skipping breakfast. This means that when lunchtime comes around, you’re starving, so you probably overeat the wrong kinds of food (like pizza, wings, Chinese, etc.) for lunch – and I’ll bet it’s fast food or takeout. Then, you don’t eat anything again for six to eight hours, and pack in a monster dinner.

    Now here’s what happens: your body isn’t getting any food first thing in the morning, so your metabolism isn’t getting started. Your “calorie-burning fire” doesn’t get started in the morning, so you’re not really burning as many calories as you should be. Also, your body is saying, “uh, oh – I’m not getting any food. I better hold on to whatever body fat I can because we’re starving!” This is bad. If you don’t eat enough food, often enough, your body will basically go into starvation mode and hang on to whatever body fat it can.

    The key to unlocking your stored fat is to feed yourself enough good food so that your body doesn’t need to store any additional fat, while at the same time getting plenty of exercise and strength training to burn whatever fat you currently have and build muscle.

    There are a bunch of factors that go into calculating metabolic rates and all that jazz, but you can use this chart as a basic measurement of how many calories you should be eating as part of your weight-loss diet. Notice it’s based on your current weight and your gender. Women need fewer calories then do men. Also, if you’re a smaller person, you need less energy than a larger person. Use this chart to determine how many calories you should be eating on a daily basis.

    WOMEN

    Under 130: 1000 Calories

    130-150: 1200 Calories

    151-200: 1400 Calories

    201-250: 1600 Calories

    251-300: 1800 Calories

    301-350: 2000 Calories

    351-400: 2200 Calories

    MEN

    Under 130: 1200 Calories

    130-150: 1400 Calories

    151-200: 1600 Calories

    201-250: 1800 Calories

    251-300: 2000 Calories

    301-350: 2200 Calories

    351-400: 2400 Calories

    Now here’s something that’s vitally important… you want to make sure you get enough calories every day, otherwise your body will go into “starvation” mode. You want to make sure that you eat your meals at least four times a day to keep your metabolism running. If you don’t eat, your body will go into starvation mode. It will realize that it’s not getting enough food, and will hold on to body fat. It’s important to get enough calories spaced throughout the day to keep your fire stoked. Don’t think that by starving yourself you’re going to lose weight. It will be the wrong kind of weight. Remember, your body will eat it’s own muscle tissue first before burning fat if it doesn’t have enough protein.

    Tip 5. Send Yourself to Boot Camp

    Now, if you want to jump start your body on its way to fast weight loss, here’s what you’re going to do. Ignore the charts above, and drop yourself right down to a 1000-calorie-per-day diet immediately. In addition, make sure you get at least 15 minutes of walking (or some other easy, basic, extra exercise) in every day as well.

    You will do this for exactly two weeks… no more… no less. Then, you will go back to eating the normal amount of calories as indicated on the chart above.

    It’s not going to be easy. You won’t be able to eat any junk food for these first two weeks. You can, however, eat plenty of good foods – chicken, salads, whole grain breads, etc. It won’t be easy, but once you get through it, you’ll be able to add lots of calories back in to your diet, and feel more normal again… in fact, after eating only 1000 calories for two weeks, you’ll probably have a hard time bringing yourself back up to 2000 calories (or whatever you should be at).

    Here’s why this works: dropping your calorie intake down to 1000 calories will shock your body into new eating habits. You will cleanse your body of toxins (like those monster grease burgers you’ve been eating) and get some good, healthy food in you. You will notice weight loss after the first couple of days, but you’ll be keeping your energy up by eating good foods at regular intervals. You can stop any cravings you’re having with water, or add some extra veggies in there – you can eat just about as much green vegetables as you want.

    Tip 6. Don’t Think “Fat Free” Means “Calorie Free”

    Everywhere you look, it seems that “low fat” foods abound. While there are certain low-fat or no-fat foods that we are going to eat, you don’t want to restrict yourself to a totally no-fat diet. There are certain fats that are good fats, and other that are bad fats. We’re going to want to eat good fats because they are necessary for proper health. Bad fats, however, will make you fat.

    There are tons of fad “no-fat” diets out there that have promoted the whole “low-fat” mentality. What’s happened? People are still continuing to get fat eating “fat-free” foods. They eat fat-free cookies, fat-free chips, and fat-free dairy products, yet they keep getting fatter. Why? Many fat-free foods have nearly as many calories as their full-fat versions.

    Now, you start eating “fat free” potato chips thinking to yourself that you can splurge… hey, why not? They’re “fat free.” Well, you still load on the calories with fat-free potato chips. It’s the calories that make you fat. In fact, when food manufacturers remove fat from their products, often times they replace the fat with sugar to improve the taste. Guess what… by adding sugar, they’re bringing the calorie count almost back up to where the full-fat product was.

    We need fat. Fat forms lining of the cell membranes in almost every cell of our bodies. Your brain is composed primarily of fat. If you don’t eat enough of the right kinds of fat, your brain will not get the proper nutrition to function. Eating too little fat can also reduce your testosterone levels (equally important for women as for men).

    Tip 7. Know Your Fats

    Saturated Fats are bad for you. They are found mostly in beef, milk, cheese, deli meats, butter, and some tropical oils. Saturated fats increase your risk of coronary artery disease, diabetes, and obesity. Avoid or minimize saturated fat intake. Try to eat low-fat meats like chicken and turkey without the skin, and reduced-fat dairy products. If you’re eating red mean, get the lowest-fat, leanest meat you can.

    Trans Fats are saturated fats that are extremely bad for you. You should completely eliminate all foods with trans fats in them from your diet. These types of unnatural fats are created during food manufacturing processes such as the hydrogenation of vegetable oil. They are usually found in pastries, buns, chips, doughnuts, shortening, and other such foods. If the label says “trans fat” put that product back on the shelf. If the ingredients of any product say “partially hydrogenated” anywhere on it – put it back. One example: margarine! It’s evil. It’s loaded with trans-fatty acids. Avoid it at all costs. Also avoid vegetable shortening, commercial pasties, deep-fried food, and most prepared snacks, mixes, and convenience foods.

    Studies have shown that saturated and trans fats are actually addictive and make you want to eat more. They have also been linked to all kinds of health problems from cancer and heart disease to diabetes.

    Unsaturated Fats, on the other hand, are generally good for you. These types of fats are usually found in nuts, seeds, fish, and grains. Mono-unsaturated fats, such as the types found in olive and canola oil, will actually protect your cardiovascular system from disease. These are the types of fats we’re going to load into our diet.

    – Good fats: almonds, avocado, cashews, flax oil, olive oil, olives, peanut butter, peanuts, fresh fish (salmon, mackerel, tuna)

    – Bad fats: butter, coconut, corn oil, cream cheese, half-and-half, lard, mayonnaise, shortening, sour cream

    Keep in mind that you need fats in your diet, but even the good fats listed above have a good amount of calories in them – so take it easy! A tablespoon of olive oil, for example, as 100 calories. Almonds (which I love to snack on) have 6 calories a piece. Nuts are a great, healthy-fat snack – but just make sure to take a small handful not the whole bag!

    Tip 8. Add Omega 3 Fatty Acids to Your Diet

    Omega fats are unsaturated fats that are not only good for you, but they’re essential for your health. Your body cannot create these fats, so you must get them totally from your diet. Omega fats are helpful for many reasons, plus they are necessary for normal cell growth and development.

    First, Omega fats are an excellent appetite suppressant. Part of the reason why people binge on “fat-free” foods is because fat is what makes your stomach “feel full.” If you aren’t eating any fat in your meal, your stomach never tells your brain that you’re full. Add a little good fat to your meal, and you’ll feel full with less food.

    Eating Omega fats helps your body to unlock stored fat so that you can use it for energy. Omega fat balances your body’s ratio of insulin to glucagon. When you eat sugary foods, your body releases insulin to remove the excess sugar from your system. If you do this too often, the insulin will block the hormone glucagon – which is another hormone that functions to help your body burn fat. Too much sugar = too much insulin = not enough glucagon = little fat burning. Plus, you are at risk for diabetes. Omega fats help to balance this ratio.

    Omega fats help to boost your body’s metabolic rate. This also helps you to burn more calories. Omega fats are the building blocks of your cells. Your cell membranes consist of Omega fats. Since they cannot be created by the body, you must get them from your diet.

    A specific fat, Omega 3 Fatty Acid, is obtained from flax seeds or flax seed oil. This will be the primary fat that we’ll add to our meals. You can use it on salads and in breads, add it to soups and yogurt. Don’t cook with it, however, as the heat will change it’s chemical properties. You will also find good doses of Omega 3 in most seafood, green leavy vegetables, fatty fish (salmon, tuna, trout, mackerel), walnuts, olive, and canola oil.

    Have fish for dinner at least twice a week – and I don’t mean your beer-battered, fried haddock that the local pub serves on Fridays. Pick a fish like salmon, tuna, or mackerel. Bake or grill them – don’t fry them. They have very high concentrations of Omega 3 fatty acids in them. Add flax oil to your salads instead of fatty dressings. Snack on walnuts or almonds instead of cookies and chocolate. You will feel full sooner, and you’ll be adding essential fatty acids to your diet to help burn calories!

    Tip 9. Get Plenty of Protein

    Proteins are the building blocks for your body. You need to eat lots of protein for your body to build, repair, and maintain your muscle and other lean tissues. If you don’t eat enough protein, your body will break down muscle tissue, which is bad, to maintain itself. As a result, your metabolism will slow, and you won’t burn body fat. Unlike fat or glucose, there’s nowhere in our bodies to store protein (aside from building muscle tissue) so you have to get a lot from your diet.

    How much protein should you eat? Most people should eat about 0.4 to 0.8 grams of protein per pound of body weight. Therefore, if you weigh 200 pounds, you should be eating between 80 and 160 grams of protein per day. This isn’t hard to do. Eat two eggs for breakfast, and an 8-ounce serving of chicken for dinner, and you’re at 60 grams of protein right there.

    What kinds of protein should you eat? I like fish, chicken (white meat), turkey (white meat), soy products, beans, legumes, and eggs (whites only – yokes have a lot of fat). Soy products are a great source of protein… once you get used to the taste. I have totally switched from regular milk to soy milk. It has all the calcium, much less of the saturated fat, and none of the cholesterol of normal milk (even skim milk!)

    Eat fish twice a week, chicken twice a week, turkey once a week, a vegetarian meal once a week, and then on that seventh day, go ahead and splurge with the pork or beef… just take it easy. Just make sure you choose lean sirloin cuts. Trim off any fat. Beef has a lot of saturated fat in it (it’s marbled throughout the meat so you can’t just cut it off). Beef is the worst meat for you – as compared to the other popular meats.

    – Good protein: beans (any kind), eggs (preferably whites – yolks have a lot of fat), chicken (white meat, no skin), turkey (white meat, no skin), salmon (preferably not farmed), tuna (packed in water, not oil), mahi mahi, any shellfish, any soy products.

    – Bad protein: bacon, ham, hot dogs, beef, pork, lamb, veal.

    In part 2 of this article, you’ll read about nine more tips to lose weight.

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    Source by Richard Rost

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  • Basics of Money Management

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    Money plays an important part in our every day lives and making the most of what we have will help us live a life free of financial pressures. By learning some basic rules, you can make life easier for yourself and for those who depend on you. Here are my basic rules.

    Rule one. Don't borrow money for consumable goods. What are consumable goods? They are stuff that lose value over time. Stuff you want but can live without. Examples are electronics, subscriptions to magazines, auto mobiles etc.

    Rule two. Live within your means. In other words, spend less than you make. I know that may sound hard if you are on a tight budget but to just take easy credit when it is available to you is simply inviting financial disaster.

    Rule three. Become financially educated. This can only be done by reading all you can about the various investment options available to you. There is really no excuse for not being kept up to date with all of the financial news because there is so much information on financial matters available on and offline.

    Rule four. Diversify. A mistake that some investors have made in the past is to put all of their eggs in the one basket only to find that the company they invested their money in went bellyup. Prudent investors diversify. That is spread their money around in various companies to minimize their risk.

    Rule five. Keep good company. There are people about who have bad attitudes toward financial planning and money in general and if you spend too much time with these people there attitudes can affect your thinking.

    Rule six. Take responsibility for your own finances. Some people will ask others for advice just so that they have someone to blame if things do not work out for them. A financial advisor will tell you to do this or that but at the end of the day it is your money and you are the one who reaps the rewards when the markets are up or takes a hit when they are down.

    Rule seven. Take a long-term view of your investments. Investing your savings is a long-term game and in order to take advantage of the gains in the markets you have to take a hit sometimes which means not panicking when the markets are going down.

    Rule eight. Keep the big picture in mind. In other words have a target or goal in mind. Are you saving for a house deposit or your retirement?

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    Source by Robert Alan Stewart

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  • Why You Need to Express Emotion

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    When I was young I was taught that crying was not good. After all, the message was that if you cry too much, “you’re going to get sick.” Crying, especially in public, definitely was bad news. In short, crying, even when grieving, was considered to be a sign of weakness. If you were going to cry, then do so in private.

    Through the years this and many other natural ways of showing emotion have been stifled by many of the celebrities who always assume a stoic pose when appearing on camera. (I always remember the death of President Kennedy and the way Jackie showed little emotion during the funeral and on TV.)

    Many additional beliefs about expressing emotion were looked down upon for years as western culture had adopted the “rugged individualism” view of dealing with life in all its manifestations. Expressing emotion was out and being strong was definitely in. Keeping emotion within is presently the cultural norm.

    However, psychology and the social sciences have shown time and time again the importance of expressing, in some form, what is happening inside; it can actually save your life. If you have been trained by the authority figures in your life to suppress your feelings or if you are unable to cry (much to do with unconscious beliefs instilled early in life) when one might be expected to do so, consider the following.

    1. We are built to vocalize feelings and tell our stories. This is an inherent and normal human response. Its purpose is to relieve the stress of trauma and massive change that occur in every life. There is a basic human need to externalize the pressure and pain that develops within.

    2. What is the alternative when we bottle the anxiety, anger, fear, guilt or pain that is generated by a major loss? The physical self pays a huge price to perform this task. Stress hormones go into overdrive and every cell in the body is affected. I repeat, every cell in the body is heavily stressed. Energy stores are depleted.

    3. A more vicious result of stuffing feelings is that our unconscious and our memory banks keep them forever alive in full force. Consequently, we are easily thrown into deep pain throughout life when something we see in a movie or on a TV show or read in the paper, cues up the terrible feelings and memories we never dealt with.

    So what can you do? The obvious answer is to find a way to tell your story of pain and disappointment. If you don’t have a best friend who is a good long-term listener, (a resource we all need to develop), then seek out a counselor, clergy person, or support group. You also can express feelings through writing, drawing, painting or sculpting. Reach out to God to unload your burden. You may need several avenues of release.

    Give in to the natural inclination to share the pain of loss. There is nothing weak about doing so. It is not merely highly therapeutic, it will lead to insights into your loss and how to cope with it (verbalizing our feelings often leads to new interpretations and thoughts). When appropriate, request your good listener to give you valuable feedback.

    Make every effort to change the pattern of the way you deal with loss and change and encourage your children to be open with you about their feelings. See the process as wisdom seeking and in making wise choices. Let periodic expression, where you plumb the deepest depths of your feelings, become part of your long-term healing process. We all need the nurturance and feeling of community that sharing feelings naturally brings forth.

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    Source by Lou LaGrand

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  • Jeffrey Archer’s "Old Love" Redefines Love Story

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    The “Old Love” of Jeffrey Archer is a unique amorous tale between two brilliant students of English literature from Oxford. Archer makes an exploration of the theme of love from a completely unusual standpoint. The rendition is fiercely honest while he portrays a chronic sense of envy and rivalry between two sworn arch-rivals in the Oxford University: William Hatchard and Philippa Jameson. Initially, their aggressive competition unsettles their tutor Simon Jakes. In their constant intellectual debates, Philippa confronted the deep, confident voice of William with her high-heeled boldness. The mutual hatred was absolute. Their sharply perceptive and analytical mind refused to be submissive to each other. Indeed, this fierce sense of competition enabled them to outshine everyone else in the field. Given the background of 1930’s she, to him, was “that silly woman” and he “that arrogant man”. Yet strange is the way of destiny that an unusual love story should blossom between the bitterest of academic rivals!

    This rivalry assumed an unpalatable intensity when both excelled as toppers in their final degree exam. The Charles Oldham Shakespeare’s essay writing competition fed fat to this fire of passionate jealousy and became a life and death question for each to defeat the other.There were liberal exchanges of scornful remarks between the two to play each other down. However, things took a dramatic turn when William unwittingly discovered about the death of Philippa’s father (who was a Vicar) from cancer, and also, his secret dream to let his daughter study in Oxford and win the Charles Oldham award. The sight of silent sobbing of his proud and powerful adversary stirred up a sudden feelings of empathy in his guts. He got over his tentative doubts and offered to accompany her to her village for the burial ceremony. They held hand for the first time and discovered the new bond of friendship as they started their journey to her village. They communicated with each other spontaneously while returning to Oxford which bounces Philippa back to her normal competitive spirit. She slowly discovers the growth of her new found intense attraction for William. The latter secretly enjoys this interesting conversion in the Vicar’s daughter.

    The transformation of hatred into love has always been a captivating subject in itself, and Archer makes the situation entertaining with the employment of sparkling wit in their conversation. They make a visit to Stratford and have meals together. But their first date was far from usual: it is a unique blend of warmth and intellectual antagonism! If this instinctive antagonism triggered a strong sense of hatred before, now it drew them closer. In fact, this killer instinct became a delirious source of entertainment for both. Archer makes the reader question if intense hatred could indeed be an expression of hidden attraction?

    Anyway, the situation takes a quirky turn while returning from Stratford. On their way back to Oxford, Phillipa and William had to spend the night in a car as the petrol gauge showed empty. The former obviously did not miss the chance of expressing her doubt about the cerebral power of a person who couldn’t even read a petrol gauge! The day next William gave her the reason why he let the car run out of petrol: He said with a rare sense of humor: “My father told me if I spent the night with a barmaid then I should simply order an extra pint of beer, but if I spent the night with the vicar’s daughter, I would have to marry her.” He came down on his knees and said,” Will you marry me if I win the Charles Oldham?” Philippa answered that “as there is absolutely no fear of that happening I can safely say, yes… ” When William declared his love for her she told him not to show his face in Somerville again if he failed to win Charles Oldham. The readers wonder if the writer reveals Philippa’s secret wish that she could marry himeven at the cost of losing Charles Oldham! Otherwise why would tears come to Philippa’s eyes when a girl informed her that she had won? It was a moment of crisis for her because between the conflicting emotion of ambition and love in her heart, the latter had won and for once the proud girl confessed, “I do love nothing in the world so well as you; is that not strange?”

    However, when she discovered that William was a joint winner, her puckish spirit returned as she said ” I take thee for pity” to which William replied ” I yield upon great persuasion… ” They were locked in a passionate embrace, and after that, they were never apart for more than a few hours. Strangely, their honeymoon in Athens ended up in a heated argument over the relative significance of Doric and Ionic architecture!

    Later in life, this constant battle of wit prevented their romance from dwindling into boredom and banality. Their serious research works and creative activities, though on different fields, kept them deeply connected. After three years, “with well-received D. Phils”, they moved on, in tandem, to college teaching. But their fierce encounters continued and their sharp wit at each other’s expense would flash across the dinner tables at Oxford. However, those who understood their love felt envious of their unique relationship! They were childless yet their life was not tasteless.

    Returning home after the celebration dinner (being declared the Joint Professor), their heated argument over Proust’s monumental work took such an intimidating turn, that a policeman, nearby, asked Philippa “Is everything all right madam?” “No, it is not”, William declared “this woman has been attacking me for over 30 years, and to date the police have done deplorably little to protect me”. Yet, beneath this apparent antagonism, their bond continued to grow stronger with each passing year. Interestingly, their intense love was inseparable from their zealous intellectual antagonism which lent a peculiar aura to their relationship. When Philippa was made the Dame of the British Empire, William referred to her as an “Old Dame” he had to live with now. It is this bitter-sweet flavor of their love which defines their marriage.

    The most irritable habit of Philippa to William was her determination each morning to complete “The Times” crossword before he arrived at the breakfast table. One fine morning in June, William, studying the clue, filled in the eight boxes left incomplete by Philippa. Philippa’s instantly retorted that there was no such word. To the delight of Philippa the word “Whym Wham” could not be found in the shorter Oxford Dictionary. William assured her that the word could be found in OED on his desk, made for scholars like him. William left the breakfast table with sharp comments on Philippa’s limited command of English language and that she will have to eat a humble pie at Somerville’s Gaudy Feast as she reads the collected works of John Skelton…

    William left with a sigh, kissing his wife on her cheek, wishing he had lost Charles Oldham. Philippa replied that he did indeed because it was highly inappropriate during those days to declare a woman as the sole winner! Having closed the front door, as she entered the kitchen, Dame Philippa suddenly suffered her lone heart attack. She called out to William hoarsely but in vain. The news of her death was conveyed and the story ends with a note of dark humor in the suicidal note of Sir William (who shot himself with his pistol): “Forgive me, but I had to let her know”. There was the volume of the work of John Skelton held open in one of his hand with the word “Whym Wham” underlined neatly, his fingers stiff and cold around it. Such weird ending, subtly hints at the essence of special relationship this couple shared so that they rise above the great marriage vow “TILL DEATH DO US PART.” Archer’s love story excels because death could not part Sir William and Dame Philippa! Even while following his wife to her grave, William felt the need to camouflage the inseparable bond they shared, and the insufferable loneliness he would feel without her… he does it with a wry sense of humor!

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    Source by Mandira Mazumder

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  • Divorce Tips: How To Heal From A Divorce In One Therapy Session

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    Healing from a divorce does take time and people going through this process are apt to experience a range of emotions including sadness, guilt, anger, resentment, anxiety, frustration and depression.

    The good news is that therapy can expedite the healing process and help people to view the end of their marriage in a more positive manner.

    Some years ago, I developed a visualization technique based on Ericksonian Psychotherapy and Hypnosis and which seems to help many divorcing individuals to heal from their loss and to restore their overall well-being.

    A description of this technique appears below.

    Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths as you listen to my voice.

    Each time you breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. And every time you inhale you take in relaxation, peace and healing. And each time you exhale you let go of or diminish any pain, sadness or any negative or uncomfortable thought or unpleasant emotion.

    So, your breath becomes a powerful healing tool. You can use your breath to adjust your mood whenever you need to do so.

    And as you use your breathing to heal yourself, you may also discover that your mind can go back in time if you want it to do so.

    And as you go back in time…

    Do you remember when you were a little boy or a little girl?

    You may remember what you looked like back then or you may have seen photos videos of yourself from your childhood.

    You may also recall what the house you grew up in looked like.

    Now, when you were a child, you probably fell down while running or while riding your bicycle. And most likely, you bruised your knee or your elbow. And your arm or your leg probably bled what felt like a lot back then.

    Then your mom, dad or a neighbor came along and gave you a hug and comforted you.

    They washed out the wound and applied an antiseptic to the injury. This probably that stung a bit. When it was placed on your wound, you may have felt like you were going to have to feel a little worse before you could feel a little better.

    And then your caretaker applied a band aid or some gauze and tape that was just the right size to cover and protect your wound.

    This helped you to feel less pain, a bit safer and a bit more secure.

    The wound may have felt worse for the next day and for even a few more days or weeks.

    You probably had to change the band aid every day or so. And you may have to wash the injured spot frequently.

    But in time, the wound began to heal, even though you may have scratched it at times, like most kids do.

    And after the passage of a little some more time, a scab formed, all the bleeding stopped and the old skin was replaced with news softer but tougher new skin.

    After a little more time, the pain subsided almost completely. Though, you still had some good days and bad days with your wound.

    Now, the pain from some wounds may not ever go away one hundred per cent.

    Many of us have physical aches and pains that stay with us, but we push on in spite of them.

    But, luckily, sometimes healing eighty or ninety percent is sufficient for us to carry on to feel generally okay.

    As you can see, the mind heals from emotional losses and wounds in much the same way that it heals from physical injuries.

    So, if you or someone you love is struggling with a loss, think about the process of healing described in the metaphor.

    Perhaps it will to help to lessen your pain, allow you to heal and to move forward with your life with a more positive spirit.

    Give it a try. Interestingly, this same technique has been used by people who are dealing with the death of a loved one.

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    Source by Jay P. Granat, Ph.D.

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