Tag: Negatively

  • Problems Encountered by Nigerian Entrepreneur and Possible Solutions

    Problems Encountered by Nigerian Entrepreneur and Possible Solutions

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    The success enjoyed by most industrialized countries can be attributed to the role played by technological innovation and entrepreneurship, both of which continue to drive their economies today. These two factors are seen as key components for the industrialization and development of African countries. The Nigerian government has recognized this fact and has taken measures aimed at promoting and cultivating the entrepreneurial culture in our country. Through the Nigerian Investing Commission (NIC), our government has in the past introduced a policy that required university students regardless of their area of study to take courses in entrepreneurship. While our government is putting extra effort in promoting entrepreneurship in Nigeria, there are still a number of problems that a Nigerian Entrepreneur faces. Below are some of the problems encountered and possible solutions.

    * Diversifying the Economy

    Though our country’s economy has over the last couple of decades relied heavily on its oil production, we must find ways to diversify our economy and avoid the over reliance on oil. Like other developing countries, Nigeria is facing an increase in its unemployment rate that is now at 6 % and is on the increase, with many graduates finding it hard to get jobs while most of those who get jobs are underemployed. This coupled with the global financial crisis in which massive numbers of employees are being laid off; entrepreneurship is seen as an essential key if we want our country to achieve its ambition of being an industrialized nation by the year 2020.

    * Unfriendly Business Climate

    Being an entrepreneur in Nigeria requires great determination as practicing and potential business owners are faced with countless challenges. Nigerian’s business climate should be made welcoming to those in the Micro, Small and Medium Enterprises (MSMEs). The role played by these MSMEs should not be underestimated since majority of the thriving businesses fall in this category and for us to achieve our goals, adequate attention and support must be directed towards these institutions. To be able to help and protect entrepreneurs, we must first have a clear idea of the challenges facing our entrepreneurs in their pursuit of making Nigeria a prosperous country.

    * Lack of Credit Facilities

    Potential Nigeria entrepreneurs go through many hardships when trying to access credit for their businesses. Though there is a wide range of financial institutions that offer business loans, they usually charge high interest rates deterring aspiring entrepreneurs. For instance, major banks have pegged their lending rates to as much a 28% deterring potential entrepreneurs who are mostly low income earners. Other obstacles faced by our entrepreneurs include severe collateral conditions set by banks and other lending institutions. Though our government through the Central Bank and the Banker’s Committee came up with guidelines requiring banks to set aside 10% of their profits for funding MSMEs, majority of these banks have been reluctant to do so. This has led to the emergence of micro-finance institutions which though helpful are not sufficient for meeting the financial requirements.

    * Multiple Taxation

    One other sensitive challenge that is encountered by majority of Nigerian entrepreneurs is multiple taxation. Although we have a responsibility of funding the government through paying taxes, most of the taxes charged on entrepreneurs are not lawful and have the effect of increasing the cost of doing business. Although Nigeria’s Companies Income Tax Act (CITA) has approved only 39 taxes and levies, there are over 500 various levies and taxes that are imposed by state and local government agents. These taxes are questionable and in the case where they are genuine, they are mostly duplicated and this has the effect of increasing the cost of doing business.

    * Poor State of the Country’s Infrastructure

    The state of our infrastructure can be deemed to be a nightmare to both entrepreneurs and the rest of the country’s population. With the existing infrastructure deteriorating and in some places it is non-existent; the cost of doing business has tremendously gone up. The state of the country’s road network makes it hard for entrepreneurs in the agricultural sector to transport harvested produce from farms to processing factories. According to a report released by the World Bank, Nigeria’s pace of socioeconomic development and growth is way below what we can achieve. This is mostly because of the erratic supply of electricity which has negatively affected many businesses. The outcome of power problems has prompted entrepreneurs to generate power through expensive ways that have in turn increased their production costs and made their products uncompetitive due to high prices. Our government should put policies in place to perk up Nigeria’s infrastructure so as to promote successful entrepreneurship.

    * Failure to Adapt to the Changing Business Environment

    Majority of those who venture into MSMEs (Micro, Small and Medium Enterprises) do so because of their need to make money and in almost all cases, such entrepreneurs lack relevant and adequate information about the businesses they engage in. In the event where problems arise, most of these business owners lack sufficient problem solving skills and in the end they find it hard to survive. With the telecommunications sector having grown by about 206.5 % between 2002 and 2004 and is continually expanding, Nigeria has become one of the fastest growing ICT market not only in Africa but also worldwide. This presents a challenge to entrepreneurs who have not embraced technology, and who are now finding it hard to remain relevant in the competitive business environment. For existing and potential MSMEs to survive and be relevant, we must adapt to the changing business environment and embrace technology.

    * Addressing the Challenges

    Solving the problems encountered requires a combined effort by both the entrepreneur and all concerned stakeholders. As Small and medium business owners, we need to increase our knowledge and skills of the market by acquiring relevant and up to date education particularly in your area of business. Our entrepreneurs need to collect information about their target market by seeking help from consultants and professionals who have experience in the particular market.

    One strategy that can be used by our small and medium entrepreneurs to remain relevant and competitive in today’s market is to come up with fresh and creative ideas of doing business. Due to the increase in technology, business is fast changing, thus our MSMEs need to constantly re-invent the way they do business.

    There is a great need of creating a strong link between MSMEs and supporting institutions if Nigeria is to fully benefit from such businesses. Though some financial institutions are still reluctant to provide financial assistance to MSMEs, there are some that give out loans at reasonable rates provided the business sounds viable. The key challenge is for our entrepreneurs to prepare sound business proposals. For our country to achieve its goals and stop relying on oil alone, we need to focus much attention needs on the private sector and our government must create a conducive atmosphere for such businesses to thrive and drive the country towards economic prosperity.

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    Source by Peter O Osalor

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  • Importance of Evidence-Based Complementary Medicine

    Importance of Evidence-Based Complementary Medicine

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    The modern-day world has many challenges and thus good health is one of the greatest blessings in today’s era. For example, a rich man with a bad health will always be unsatisfied and unhappy! “Health is Wealth”. Improving your health is an opportunity that shouldn’t be missed. It is a fact that your health affects all the aspects of your life, be it professional, or personal. Probably that is the reason why evidence-based complementary and alternative medicine came into existence!

    With increasing number of health-related apps and journals on the internet, you can now easily move towards a healthier lifestyle. Even the experts of medicine have admitted that the advice and products of work best when supplemented with a doctor’s standard care and supervision.

    As the famous proverb suggests, “Prevention is better than cure” and evidence-based complementary and alternative medicine helps you achieve this goal. So, here are a few benefits that you might get if you follow an integrative healthcare protocol:

    • It helps you in receiving specific treatment plans as per your physical requirements. As each individual has a unique body, it is not advisable to subscribe to a generalized treatment protocol. An effective biotyping assessment studies your inherited traits such as body frame, personality type, digestive capacity, metabolic activity, nutrigenomics, as well as environmental factors. In this way, it provides you with a personalized holistic Integrative healthcare medicine advice.
    • It aims at examining and treating all the aspects of physical as well as emotional components. It is proven that daily stress negatively affects your emotions, biology and genetics. All this further results in greater risks of several chronic diseases such as cancer and heart disease!
    • It offers a wide range of Natural Cure and Remedies so that you are not completely dependent on pharmaceuticals, many of which have side-effects. The food that you eat is one of the biggest reasons behind your healthy (or unhealthy) life! Following unhealthy food habits can result in an increase in the risk of heart conditions, high blood sugar, obesity, etc. So, what could be better than utilizing food as a medicine?
    • It focuses on the prevention of diseases before it even occurs. While conventional medicines are prescribed for a lifetime for chronic disease, alternative medicine examines the root causes of the disease. It also encourages the patients to focus on preventing a disease by eating healthy foods, exercise, meditation, etc.

    So, if you also wish to treat or prevent any disease with Natural Cure and Remedies, evidence-based complementary medicine is the key! After all, it’s never too late for improving your health.

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    Source by Luke Harper

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  • How Excessive Exercise Might Negatively Affect Your Health

    How Excessive Exercise Might Negatively Affect Your Health

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    A great deal of people engage in cardiovascular and several other activities primarily in order to lose weight. Then again, carrying out excessive workouts of any kind could cause the body to begin reacting in a negative way. This brings to memory the proverb that says – too much of anything is bad. And workout is no exception here.

    Training is a great thing and it would appear that training even more ought to provide a lot more benefits. In the truest sense, it really does give a little extra gains, until it is taken just a little bit too far. At this juncture, your body may start responding otherwise.

    This is correct besides the fact that training is acknowledged to be more of a “healthy stress.” However, your adrenal glands are unable make a distinction between them.

    Stress and Cortisol

    Excessive physical exercise induces a hormone called cortisol. This hormone tells your body to hang onto its fat stores. The body secretes cortisol anytime it is under any sort of tension.

    The stress might be from the school, place of work, unhealthy eating, too little sleep, family issues, and a number of other things. They can easily stress your body and cause it to release cortisol. The regrettable thing is that the body also looks at physical fitness as a stressor.

    Consequence of Excessive Physical Exercise

    If you push the body way too hard for a long time it may result in higher cortisol levels, adrenal fatigue, and even elevated food cravings.

    Stress, regardless of its source, has a way of influencing neurotransmitters. These neurotransmitters, including dopamine, GABA, and serotonin, are our feel-good, anti-anxiety brain chemicals. Stress and excessive extreme training reduces the quantities of these types of neurotransmitters. This usually brings about debilitating weariness, sleep disorders and also depressive disorders.

    Continually high amounts of cortisol may have detrimental impact on fat loss. It could also raise your associated risk of a range of health issues.

    Female Athlete Triad

    For the women, excessive physical exercise can equally result in the “female athlete triad”. This is a condition of, the likely stoppage of her menstruation, eating problems, and brittle bones or bone mineral loss. A mixture of workout and calorie restriction typically leads to these kinds of symptoms.

    Decreased Immune Effectiveness

    Moderate physical fitness helps to enhance your body’s immune system whereas too much physical exercise tends to suppress it. Excessive workout raises the body’s exposure to infections. Likewise, there is the elevated seriousness of minor infections and also the decreased production of immunoglobulins.

    Decrease of Testosterone

    Also, it is a reality that cortisol and testosterone clash with each other. Testosterone is important for the development and preservation of skeletal muscle, bone, and red blood cells. They equally assist in weight reduction as they are very metabolically active.

    Workout depth (which is over 50% of maximal oxygen intake) of extended period sets off the sympathetic nervous system and results in cortisol overproduction. On the flip side, this stops the discharge of testosterone.

    The reduced testosterone, for males, could easily cause decrease in libido. This might however be a combined consequence of both bodily exhaustion as well as the reduced testosterone levels.

    In the event that you have been working out too much, the very first course of action is for you to truthfully recognize and acknowledge this reality. You have to admit to yourself that you are really struggling with this problem.

    One other idea that may assist you to cut back on the amount of your training routines will be to stick to a training schedule. This schedule should vary your exercise load and equally incorporate obligatory rest periods.

    Nevertheless, it will be necessary to seek help from a healthcare professional for the treatment of both the psychological and physical symptoms.

    On the other hand, this is not suggesting that you should give up on performing exercises but rather that you have to get the right amount.

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    Source by Marcus J Michael

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  • Ogun Residents Reject Siting Of Coronavirus Isolation Centre In Community

    Ogun Residents Reject Siting Of Coronavirus Isolation Centre In Community

    Ogun Residents Reject Siting Of Coronavirus Isolation Centre In Community 1

    Ogun Residents Reject Siting Of Coronavirus Isolation Centre In Community 2


    Residents of Obasanjo Hilltop GRA, Oke-Mosan, Abeokuta, Ogun State, have rejected the proposed siting of an isolation centre in the area.

    The residents, in a letter to Governor Dapo Abiodun, stated that siting an isolation centre in a residential area would put the health of the people under risk.

    Mr Fola Adeola, businessman, politician and founder of Fate Foundation, had donated his private residence and property in Abeokuta for use as isolation centre for COVID-19 patients.

    Apart from Adeola, ex-Nigerian President, Olusegun Obasanjo, as well as other persons have donated facilities to the state government to use as isolation centres.

    The residents of Oke-Mosan stated that though they appreciated the kind gesture of Adeola, using the building as isolation centre would endanger their lives.

    The letter reads, “We are particularly alarmed as individuals and as a community that a non-resident owner of an abandoned property by name Mr Fola Adeola has purportedly donated his property in the estate to be converted to isolation centre for the purpose of victims of COVID-19.

    “The community is comprised of retired and aged residents and other vulnerable individuals whose health and well-being would be most negatively affected by the potential conversion or siting of isolation in the neighbourhood.

    “We wish to state categorically that this complaint is not and should not be seen as a deliberate step to discourage a most charitable disposition of the donor to public health issues and related social concerns.

    “It is essential to request that the facility be used or deployed for allied services such as storage and other non-hazardous uses.

    “It is in view of the foregoing that we most humbly appeal to Your Excellency to use your good office as the Executive Governor of Ogun State to cause immediate stoppage of the use of the facility as “COVID-19 isolation centre” due to potential health-related disaster that it might cause to vulnerable residents and generality of the community.”

    Nigeria currently has 111 confirmed cases of Coronavirus and two recorded deaths.

     

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  • How Drug Detox Can Help Improve Relationships

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    Alcohol and drug abuse is the root cause of many problems in an individual’s life. From developing severe mental health issues and physical troubles to encountering serious challenges in one’s relationships, abuse of illegal substances is linked with innumerable adverse effects.

    It is a widely known fact that long-term, committed relationships and substance abuse do not go together. Having a partner who is engaged in drinking or abusing drugs can be an insurmountable challenge, with the negative effects rippling and influencing all the near and dear ones. In worst cases, substance abuse problem can take a heavy toll by causing an emotional distance between the partners, which eventually results in frequent fights and violence at home.

    Sadly, a person fighting substance abuse is deprived of the emotional connect with his or her partner resulting in the loss of trust and affection. Overall, such couples have a tough time dealing with this downward spiral, wherein a person drinks or uses drugs to reduce tension arising out of frequent conflicts, and vice versa.

    Substance abuse and impact on relationships

    A person abusing drugs is very likely to have a poor sex drive and may fail to maintain a healthy sexual relationship. This is because when someone is addicted to any substance, there is no room left for anything else. Some of the telltale signs that the substance abuse problem is negatively affecting one’s relationships are:

    • Not taking care of responsibilities or staying out late.
    • Rising instances of domestic violence.
    • Isolating from friends and relatives to hide the drug or alcohol problem.
    • Experiencing financial problems.

    When it comes to intimate relationships, believing that one can prevent problems by avoiding sexual relationships post sobriety is incorrect. A complete recovery is possible only when a person gets enough love and care from his or her partner. Since intimate relationships are considered one of the most rewarding parts of human existence, a lack of it can leave people feeling unwanted and incomplete.

    For a person recovering from an addiction, lack of sexual relationships might lead him or her to revisit the places that had triggered drug or alcohol abuse.

    How detox can be helpful in restoring relationships

    When a person fighting substance abuse enters a detox program, he or she needs to work harder to recover from the addiction and regain his or her ability to enjoy fruitful relationships with the loved ones. While undergoing treatment, it is important for a person to not just focus on maintaining sobriety but also reshape his or her habits and old attitudes that could act as a barrier to his or her interpersonal or intimate relationships.

    While detoxification might pave the way for a person’s recover from an addiction, it is important to ensure that it also brings back his or her sexual drive. With low self-esteem and confidence, it becomes difficult for the recovering individual to even think about any personal relationship. Undergoing a detox program can be a great help in gaining enough confidence to deal with relationship problems.

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    Source by Barbara Odozi

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  • How Do I Convince My Husband That I’ve Changed My Ways So He’ll Give Me A Second Chance?

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    It’s an awful feeling to be looking back on your marriage with negative hindsight. Sometimes, we don’t see things clearly enough until we’re faced with actually losing them for good. I recently heard from a wife who was experiencing this first hand. Her husband had left her after finally becoming tired of her constantly bending the truth, not treating him in a respectful way, acting irresponsibly, and taking him for granted.

    She said, in part: “I was furious with my husband when he left me. I was mad that he would give up on our marriage without giving me any warning first. But after I began to think clearly, I realized that he did give me plenty of warnings but I wasn’t always paying attention. I spent the money that he mostly earned like crazy and put us heavily into debt. I would bend the truth about my activities so I could keep on doing exactly what he wanted. He worked hard while I had the fun. If he mentioned not being happy about this to me, I’d call him a stick in the mud or asked him if he was my father. I flirted with other guys and didn’t show him the respect he deserved. He was nothing but loving, loyal, and good to me, but I didn’t fully appreciate him until now. So now I’m at the point where I fully realize my mistakes and am committed to changing my ways. I’ve gotten a better job and have stopped the spending, lying, and partying. But when I tell him this, he looks at me with doubt in his eyes and doesn’t make any further attempts to see me. If he would only give me a second chance, I could and would prove to him that our marriage could be different. Will he give me that second chance? How can I make sure that he does?” I’ll try to answer these questions below.

    Usually, In Order For Your Husband To Give You And Your Marriage A Second Chance, Several Things Need To Happen All At Once: Over time, it became pretty obvious that this wife was sincere. It has been months since her husband had left. And, during that time, she had gotten a job, adjusted her thinking and her behavior, and really embraced a new way of life that the husband had been encouraging and calling for all along.

    The wife was frustrated that she’d made all of these changes and yet, despite her repeatedly detailing her mistakes and how she had changed them, her husband still had not been receptive enough to give her another chance or to come home. In fact, he’d started talking about divorce, which was especially upsetting to her.

    This wife didn’t understand that in order for your husband to give you a second chance or to be open to a reconciliation, several things need to happen, as follows:

    1. Your husband needs to completely believe that, not only have you really and truly changed, but that you understand why you acted the way that you did and are completely remorseful for it. He needs to believe that you now see the attributes in him that you missed before so that you won’t continue to take him for granted.

    2. Your husband needs to believe that the changes that you made are lasting and that you didn’t only “change” for his benefit. Many husbands suspect that as soon as he agrees to give you another chance or comes back home, you’ll eventually get comfortable again and resort back to your old ways so that he’s having to deal with the same behaviors over and over again without any escape.

    3. Once your husband believes that you’ve made lasting realizations and changes, then he has to perceive that continuing in a relationship or marriage with you is going to be better for him (or make him more happy) than to continue to be alone. Sure, he might believe that it’s possible that you’ve changed. But sometimes, he still feels that too much negativity has happened between you to really salvage the marriage. Or, he doubts if things can ever really “be the same” again.

    Identifying And Addressing Any Doubts That Your Husband Might Have About Giving You A Second Chance. Where Is His Reluctance And His Resistance Coming From? Admittedly, I didn’t personally know either the husband or the wife in this scenario. So, I couldn’t pinpoint which of the above 3 factors was keeping the husband from believing his wife or from giving her a second chance. But, if the wife truly observed the husband’s behaviors and listened to the clues he was likely offering her, then she should be able to figure out what truly stood in her way.

    Most of the time, this is a gradual process because you have to hang in there in order to keep going long enough to over come what is usually a husband’s considerable resistance and doubt. In truth, this couple had been married for years and yet the wife’s changes had only been around for a few months. The husband likely still had his doubts that the changes were sincere or were truly going to last. And he may have also had his doubts if the two of them could be happy again after he’d walked out on her and given up on the marriage.

    The best way to address these doubts was to just continue on with what she was doing and to give the process time to work. Because with time, the husband could likely see that she truly was sincere and absolutely meant what she said. It helps if you can somehow let your husband know that you are incorporating these changes even when he’s not watching you. If a mutual friend or family member comments about the changes in you without your being present, this can help.

    Here’s one more point that I would like to make. It’s entirely possible that the husband was slowing warming to the idea that his wife could change, but that he still had his doubts that the marriage could truly be a genuinely easy or happy one. The wife admitted to me that sometimes things were tense when they were together because she was frustrated that her plan didn’t seem to be working. This was something that needed to be avoided in the future.

    It’s vitally important that your husband sees you being light hearted, fun loving, and very easy to be around. The relationship and the conversations should be light and should not feel awkward or forced. I know that this sometimes takes some doing, but if every interaction feels or reads negatively, then this will often just reinforce the husband’s belief that the marriage is too far gone to save.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

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  • Homosexual Dating – Truth and Connection

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    Homosexual dating has become much more widespread and accepted in Western culture, allowing both gays and lesbians the chance to reach out to one another beyond that of closed doors. Now there are many ways you can have a rewarding homosexual dating experience, so don’t be afraid to get out there and explore all of the potential relationships you can create at a wonderful same-sex communities.

    Homosexuality is a form of love that needs not to be judged or explained, because it is just another example of how when you love someone it doesn’t matter what colour their skin is, how old they are, or even what sex they are. True love knows no boundaries, has no discriminations and only wishes to be shared with another who returns the same emotions.

    Unfortunately, not everyone agrees with this idea of love, and due to this fact, many homosexuals, regardless if they are male or female, are made to feel alienated, which can often lead to feelings of depression or loneliness. There is no reason why you should let these feelings overcome you, or let other opinions of those you care about, such as family members or friends, negatively influence your life when it comes to finding love, relationships, and homosexual dating.

    Homosexual dating is about finding someone who feels the same way you do, enjoys spending time with you, treats you with respect and makes you feel like an equal. It is about being apart of a relationship with mutual understanding, which has the potential to forge a strong connection between both you and your partner.

    Like any dating experience, there will be certain setbacks and struggles that you may face during homosexual dating. This is only natural, simply because in order for you to connect with someone, it is important that you feel comfortable with them.

    As a gay or lesbian, you should not feel that you need to grab any opportunity that comes your way. There is no harm in starting as friends and working slowly into the relationship to discover how much you have in common. As long as you are honest with your feelings, you should have no problem finding a partner.

    Homosexual dating is how you can establish an amazing connection with someone who understands you, and loves you for who you are with no questions asked. Even though you will meet some people who are destined to give you a hard time with your sexual preference, all you can do is trust your own judgments, be true to yourself, and give your love and time to those who deserve it.

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    Source by Frank Duru

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  • Relationships: Can A Relationship Bring Up Someone’s Attachment Trauma?

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    When someone gets into a relationship, they may believe that they have finally met their match. What they have been through in the past, when it comes to this area of their life, is then going to be well and truly over.

    At one point, it will have been as though they were on a stormy sea and now, they will be on calm waters. There is then going to be no more bumps – the path in front of them will be completely flat.

    An Unexpected Outcome

    However, although this may be how one currently sees this area of their life, it doesn’t mean that their external world will match up with what is taking place in their mind as time goes by. What they could find is that their partner ends up pulling away as time goes by or that they come up too strong.

    If the former takes place, one could end up feeling rejected and abandoned, and what may follow is the feeling of being worthless. Yet, if the latter takes place, they could end up feeling smothered and trapped, which could result in them feeling powerless.

    Confusion

    If something like this was to take place, the first thing that one could do is to blame their partner. Instead of stepping back and reflecting on what is taking place, what is going on externally will be seen as the issue.

    As a result of this, their partner could end up reacting negatively to what they say, creating even more disharmony. Another thing that could take place is that the relationship could simply come to an end.

    A Similar Scenario

    At the same time, while one of the occurrences above could be what has taken place, it could be slightly different. So, instead of them feeling rejected and abandoned because their partner has actually pulled away, they could feel this way if their partner has a lot going on at work, for instance, and is unable to spend as much time with them as they usually would.

    And, while they could be feeling smothered and trapped due to their partner coming on too strong, they could feel this way whenever they express their needs. No matter what is going on, then, it will lead to a fair amount of internal discomfort.

    The Early Stages

    If one was fine before they got into a relationship with this person, they may wonder what is going on. But, while they may have been fine up until this point, there is also the chance that it is not this black and white.

    They may have only been seeing this person for a few weeks and had number of intense experiences during this time. Perhaps there was time when they didn’t hear from them for a little while, with this resulting in them feeling fearful and as though they had been rejected.

    Attached

    This may have been a time when they simply reacted to how they were feeling, doing what they could to get the other person to respond. Alternatively, they may have pushed down how they felt and tried to act normal.

    Their need to make a good impression at this point may have stopped them from criticising the other person. Based on how they felt, the last thing they would have wanted was for them to stop talking to them altogether.

    One Outlook

    One way of looking at what took place earlier on and/or what is taking place now that they are in a relationship would be to say that one is simply overacting. Ergo, the best thing for them to do would be to make sure that they don’t get caught up their ‘irrational’ feelings.

    One could end up coming to believe that they need to be mindful of what is taking place in their head, due to the fact that their thoughts create their feelings. It is then going to be all about what is going on up top.

    A Deeper Look

    Another way of looking at this would be to say that the reason all these feelings have been coming up is because they have become emotionally attached to another person, which has allowed their early wounds to be brought up to the surface. Consciously, one may not see the other person as their caregiver, but unconsciously, this can be exactly how they see them.

    At a deeper level, part of them will look towards their partner to give them what their caregivers didn’t give them, and when this doesn’t happen, how they felt during their early years will come back up to the surface. And not only will how they felt during their early years be triggered when their partner doesn’t behave in a certain way, this can also take place even if this part of them assumes that something has taken place.

    Deep Pain

    There is then going to be no need for clear evidence to be provided in order for their early wounds to be opened up. What complicates this even further is that although this part of them will want to receive what it didn’t receive all those years ago, experiencing the same experiences over and over again will be what feels safe.

    When their wounds are opened up, they can end up feeling like a needy and dependent child. Perhaps their early years were a time in their life when their needs were rarely, if ever met, meaning that they would have been spent a lot of time feeling rejected and abandoned.

    Awareness

    The years will have passed since that stage of their life but the trauma that they experienced will still be within them. If one can relate to this and they want to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support.

    This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

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    Source by Oliver JR Cooper

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  • Anger In The Emotional GateKeeper

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    Anger is our emotional gatekeeper and if used effectively it will provide us with the ability to interact with the world fully aware of when our emotional gates should remain open and when to keep them closed.

    Imagine the gatekeeper for a moment. She knows that her job is to protect. She also knows that if she is over protective those inside the gate will die from starvation or suffer from a lack of exposure to the outside world.

    In the same way, anger protects our most vulnerable emotions. When we feel emotions like fear, disappointment, pain, grief, loss, rejection, humiliation, jealousy, being taken advantage of etc. anger forms a protective layer to keep others form further exploiting us. This is a wonderful tool in our emotional arsenal. Sadly just like the over zealous gatekeeper who keeps the gate close-anger can be destructive by fostering isolation from ourselves and others.

    When our anger is appropriately, others will know through good communication that we have been negatively affected by their actions and in turn we can take steps to meet our own needs to ease our pain, disappointment, embarrassment etc. without becoming uselessly angry.

    Let us see anger for what it is–the emotional gatekeeper that protects our other emotions however we need to also remember that there is a delicate balance between protections and suffocation.

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    Source by Carlos Todd

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