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  • Why People Smoke After Sex And Not Before

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    There must be countless scenes in old movies of couples having the celebratory cigarette in bed after sex. In the more subtle days just the smoking scene was enough to imply the unseen steamy activity which had just gone before.

    So why do we see this after sex and not before? The after cigarette implies relaxation, comfort and satisfaction, which is curious because nicotine has nothing to do with these states.

    Imagine the scene with the before romance smoke. Now we have the ashtray mouth, or the smoke enriched hair killing the moment of passion. Maybe the moment of passion would pass, which certainly isn’t a good idea but maybe there is a strongly bio-chemical reason behind it all.

    One cigarette causes a dramatic shut down in your ability to shunt blood to your brain and your genitals for about four hours. This means your nitric oxide levels are about as good as an 80 year old, which translates as a lack of blood and function to your important parts!

    A robust 20 year old may not notice any problem but issues of impotence for men and sexual pleasure for women start to creep in clinically in the mid to late twenties and by the mid-forties studies show that as many as 50% of people either can’t perform or don’t enjoy sex.

    There are a number of issues involved including, alcohol, industrial omega 6 fats, xeno-estrogens from chemicals and soy oils, medications and sleep deprivation, but smoking is virtually guaranteed to create a problem.

    Plus the days of smoking being sexy have long passed and the smell of cigarette smoke would turn off most prospective bed partners.

    So you light a cigarette, and the smoke fills your lungs. Most of the toxins will enter your blood stream and travel through your heart. Those toxins which don’t enter your blood stream just have the sensitive tissue of your lungs to attack.

    From your heart the toxins travel via arteries, to arterioles, and right down to capillaries. The toxins cause these tiny blood pathways to constrict, and it is these small pathways which supply blood to your entire body.

    There is no upside to this restricted circulation, only limited blood flow, nutrient transport and diminished waste removal. So you system starts to look like New York during a garbage strike, instead of a super fast autobahn. And a disturbed system this is certainly not how you want to feel in a tender moment.

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    Source by Ian Newton

    Views: 0

  • Transforming Negative Emotions Into Positive Feelings and Actions Part 2

    Transforming Negative Emotions Into Positive Feelings and Actions Part 2

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    Techniques to Release, Overcome and Transform

    1.) Observe yourself having the emotion. Just become aware and watch yourself in the process. This de-fuses it and frees you from an emotional strangle-hold and escalation. It takes will and strong desire to do this and becomes easier with practice.

    2.) Choose an image, a personal symbol, to place in your mind to stop self as soon as you recognize a negative emotion happening. For example, a stop sign, 10 deep breaths, a Danger sign or whatever means ‘stop” to you.

    3.) Consciously lift and move your energy from your solar plexus (stomach) area to your heart. The emotional charge is in the stomach and when you relocate your focus to the heart, you calm down and can see what is best. You’ll become harmless to yourself and others as your center of love is activated and replaces the negative feeling. A better decision can then be made.

    Release the Emotion (A present Feeling or one from the past):

    1.) Stomp, pound a pillow, yell, run, cry; release the emotion from the body.

    2.) Image a shower of light pouring down on you and washing the painful emotion away.

    3.) Pull the plug on the emotion. Image it as a color going down a drain.

    4.) Journal, write your feelings down.

    5.) Art Therapy. Do a simple technique that releases the emotion by taking a sheet of paper and using crayons, markers or pastels to draw/scribble your feelings on the paper. Get them out on the paper; release them. Turn the paper and see this situation differently. Now, draw. A new perspective can harmonize the emotion you’re releasing.

    6.) We release emotions with intention to be rid of them, not to fuel the fire for more. Be sure to release with the desire to be free of them.

    Transforming Negative Emotions:

    1.) Change your energy field. Close your eyes and imagine the emotion as energy around you. What does it look like, what color, shape, form etc. does it take? Now allow it to change and smooth out, becoming transformed, harmonized, peaceful. What does it look and feel like now?

    2.) Change your perspective on the situation. Re-frame it in a way that’s positive/productive for you. Ask yourself, how this situation can help you. What is good about it? How are you growing from it? A positive attitude about something can help resolve it for you, even if it’s a difficult situation. A new mindset can change everything.

    3.) Ask self what the lesson you are learning from this situation is. Knowing the lesson helps transform the negative feeling and take on the mastery of the lesson you are in the process of learning.

    4.) Put a new and positive picture in your mind about the situation that is causing the hurtful emotion. Instead of dwelling on the painful scenario or the trauma incident or being yelled at or treated disrespectfully, replace it with one of yourself healed, happy, successful, determined to move on etc. Whatever feels great and counters the old feeling. Keep the new picture in place whenever the old feeling comes up. The mind and body respond quickly to pictures, so this will shift you fast.

    5.) Inner Listening. Get very quiet and go into the silence within. Allow your inner guide to bring you new insights, wisdom and solutions for healing and transformation.

    6.) Forgiveness means letting go. It doesn’t condone bad behavior, but lets the pain go. You and others have the right to make mistakes and grow. Forgive self if needed and forgive others. This doesn’t mean that you will choose to stay connected with anyone who harms you. It means you let go of the painful movie, get the lesson and move forward. You stop the images and negative emotions from their endless control over you. Restore your self- esteem if you’ve acted poorly and wish the other person well if they have. To clean yourself completely, do a systematic of forgiveness for everyone in your life. You will be rejuvenated. Forgive; let go and say goodbye to these emotions.

    7.) Change a gripe to a goal. If you regularly complain and feel negatively about something or someone, set a goal for yourself and be determined to accomplish it. For example, if you are jealous of someone who has a degree in art; stop it and find a way to get one for yourself. If you are short of money and angry at others who have it, stop it and chart your path, make a plan to increase your income. Things happen first in the mind, so begin to visualize yourself having what you want already now. Feel the joy of it and for 5 minutes several times a day, sit quietly and feel the emotions you would have if it were yours now. Soon you begin to believe you have it. In the Biology of belief, Bruce Lipton offers scientific proof that we get what we believe.

    8.) Thoughts and emotions are intimately connected in fact, inseparable. One leads to the other. What repetitive thoughts do you have that are hurting you? Are you taking charge of your negative thoughts and transforming them? Think the opposite of your negative thought as soon as you catch yourself having it. Correct yourself on a daily basis; over and over. Repetition of the new corrected thought forges a new brain pathway and pattern. Strong intention and follow through is necessary.

    Don’t let your mind wander all day without direction or self-monitoring. You can change your mind at any moment into a more positive state. Letting your thoughts run wild will take away your peace. Take charge of yourself and choose thoughts that will help you.

    9.) What belief about yourself do you want to change? Finances, relationships, self-concept, accomplishment of a specific goal; health, personal qualities etc. Beliefs that limit and cause pain keep your emotions at a painful level, and only you can change that.

    Taking Positive New Action

    1) Set clear boundaries. You decide what you will and won’t accept from people and act on it.

    2) Practice assertive communication with others. Tell them how you feel without blame or judgment; just how you feel. Stand up for self if needed.

    3) Be creative. Create something positive from your experience.

    For example, women who have been abused have set up women’s shelters around the country. People who grew up hungry have started programs to feed poor children.

    All of these techniques work. Practice and practice and you will see yourself and your life become fulfilled and beautiful. Be very patient with yourself, as this is hard work and takes a lot of self- control, intention and discipline. It’s a progressive unfolding of the highest part of self. Over time we blossom!

    Steps in Review:

    1.) Stop and control self.

    2.) Release the emotion

    3.) Transform the emotion

    4.) Take positive new action

    5.) Replace negative emotional reactions with spiritual actions and personal spiritual qualities.

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    Source by Carole Cravath

    Views: 0

  • A Review of the Newlife Malaysia Multi Level Marketing Company

    A Review of the Newlife Malaysia Multi Level Marketing Company

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    Newlife Malaysia was was originally started by Dr. Lynn Tan and Mr. C.K. Tan. Dr. Lynn Tan got motivated to start this company because she was very good at sports when she was younger and very health conscious. She even participated in many State Wide Sports Tournaments in Malaysia. But at the young age of 19 her health started failing and no one knew why. She was at a loss for energy, and found herself irritated and lethargic most of the time. She saw many physicians but none of them could diagnose what was wrong with her.

    One day her and her husband met a Dr. Costa Deir while they were at church. By coincidence he was also a medical doctor and naturopath. Then things all of a sudden changed for the better. She was diagnosed as having Toxemia or poisons throughout her body. Dr. Lynn Tan then started using common sense, homeopathic simple principles to start detoxing her body, like eating the right types of foods. In a few short months, her health suddenly took a turn for the better. As some people get better using homeopathic remedies that traditional medicine couldn’t seem to help her with, is where her inspiration came to start Newlife Malaysia came from.

    The philosophy of Newlife Malaysia is Good Health and Good Wealth without compromise. The business which was founded in 1993 was mainly setup for the founders family consumption. When they realized they could help thousands of people, they opened the business to the public and started a Network Marketing Compensation Plan. Upon browsing their website, I noticed they carry a pretty nice array of products. The main categories are Health Food, Herbal & Detox, Vitamins & Minerals, Personal & Family Care, Annemarie Borland Products and Nutritional Books.

    As of this moment, with our current eating habits we are destroying our health and the health of our children by not eating the right foods. Small children are now getting diseases like diabetis that only adults use to get. Medical Facilities are filled with people with diseases and ailments and in too many cases medical doctors don’t have logical answers. With better eating habits, these diseases could easily be circumvented. It’s a childs right to be healthy and a responsibility of parents to keep them healthy. This is the main philosophy behind Newlife Malaysia. They want to not only supply you with the proper nutrients and foods but educate you on how to eat properly to live a higher quality of life.

    Just by a quick glance I estimate the company sells about 100 products in all. This information wasn’t on their main site, but another website that collects leads for this company said it was a Infinity Depth (Hybrid) Pay Plan. The products are all delivered right to the customers home. To my knowledge this MLM Opportunity is only open to the people in Malaysia.

    This isn’t the fanciest MLM Website I’ve seen by a long shot, but the owners have established credibility with me due to how long they have been in business and their personal experiences in health and searching for homeopathic remedies. I can personally relate to this myself and I’m sure many who read this can in one way or the other as well.

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    Source by Brian Garvin

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  • Affirmations – Putting Emotion in Your Words

    Affirmations – Putting Emotion in Your Words

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    It is true; affirmations are just sentences with a positive slant, just words. On their own they can do little to change your life. Power, life transforming power, becomes embedded in affirmations when you add emotion while you are saying them.

    Words are words, but emotion is energy and our Universe operates on energy. It is the energy behind our words that gives life to affirmations and sets them in motion to manifest. One of the main pitfalls people run into when saying affirmations is that they are saying a sentence they do not believe in and thus do not put emotion into. The goal is to feel your affirmations as if they were already true. Here are the three reasons that emotion is absent from affirmations and the remedy for each:

    1. Existing beliefs conflict with the affirmation. When you affirm, “I am a millionaire!” while believing “There is not enough to go around.” it can be impossible to feel like a millionaire. You would actually be manifesting more lack because when you say your affirmation with a conflicting belief, the automatic reaction is to think that the affirmation is false which is usually accompanied by a feeling of hopelessness.

      The fix here is to work on the conflicting belief first. First, pay attention to how you feel when you say your desired affirmation. If you feel hopeless or sense a conflict, explore that feeling until you come up with the belief that is the root cause. When you have identified that belief, create an affirmation to address it. From our example above, if you believe that there is not enough to go around an effective affirmation would be “I choose to believe in abundance.” Once you have addressed your conflicting belief your mind will open up to believing all sorts of new and exciting things.

    2. Doubt. If you doubt that saying affirmations will change your beliefs, habits, actions and life, it can certainly be hard to feel emotion while you say them.

      To address this, read as much as you can about the power of your mind and affirmations. Say your affirmations right after you have finished reading something particularly inspirational or motivational. You will find that your excitement over reading the possibilities related to the potential of your mind will carryover while you say (and feel) your affirmations. I highly recommend, “You can Heal Your Life” by Louise Hay.

    3. You are not quite there. You may be close to believing you affirmation, but it is a bit of a stretch. You may not have a conflicting belief, but it is hard for you to imagine and feel that truth in your life at this moment.

      In this case, adding the words “choose” or “accept” to your affirmations can soften them enough to make them 100% believable in this moment. The affirmation “I am abundant.” would become “I choose to be abundant.” or “I accept abundance into my life.”

    My last tip for adding emotion to your affirmations is to smile! Works every time.

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    Source by Danea Horn

    Views: 0

  • 10 Reasons Masturbation Is Good for a Man’s Health

    10 Reasons Masturbation Is Good for a Man’s Health

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    Nope, it doesn’t cause blindness or hair to sprout wildly from a man’s hands. Masturbation is actually a very healthy hobby to have, affecting all areas of a man’s health and wellness from the top of his head to the depth of his heart. Ranging from everything from cancer prevention to self-love, masturbation is a free, easy hobby that yields powerful results for a man’s wellness.

    #1: Body Confidence

    Getting sexy with oneself is a great way to get in touch with erogenous zones and feel pleasure. Masturbation has also been shown to help people be more in touch with and feel better about their bodies, promotes intimacy, and improves communication regarding likes, desires, and dislikes with a partner. It’s a pathway to accepting oneself as well as being a confident lover.

    #2: Feel-Good Hormones and Relaxation

    Unlike partner play, masturbation is generally all about the orgasm. When a man orgasm, his body is flooded with dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins. These are the “love and bonding” hormones that create a feeling of safety and warm fuzzies. They also lower cortisol, the evil stress hormone, which leads to less inflammation, weight gain, and stress-eating. Masturbation has also been shown to lower blood pressure, creating a relaxing mood.

    #3: Cheeto-Fighting Powers

    Remember that oxytocin? It keeps a man happy which stops emotionally-triggered food cravings for things like cheese, sugar, and other comfort goods. So put away the Ben & Jerry’s and pull out the lube instead.

    #4: Improves Sperm Quality

    Give swimmers an extra boost. Like anything else perishable, the fresher, the better. There are less motility issues and DNA damage when sperm is regularly turned over.

    #5: Improved Microbiome

    Who knew the key to bloating and gassiness was masturbation? The regular flood of pleasure keeps the guts in check and balances digestion. It’s due to the bloods increased circulation and positive hormone balance.

    #6: Reduced Pain

    Orgasm circulates the blood through the body which naturally help soothe aches and even headaches because pain can frequently be caused by dehydration and low oxygenation. Also, what feels better than an orgasm. Try for a P-Spot orgasm to extend the good vibes.

    #7: It Makes a Man Mindful

    Nothing requires a man to be in the moment like masturbation. Solo play is a form of erotic meditation, reducing stress and a racing brain. Sometimes it’s just the break a man needs.

    #8: It Wards off Cancer

    An Australian study found that men who ejaculated more than five times a week were a third less likely to develop prostate cancer. This seems to be because toxins build in the urogenital tract. When a man orgasms, it flushes the toxins from the system.

    #9: Tones the Love Muscle

    It’s like doing dead lifts for your dick. Everyone loses muscle tone with age; however, masturbation keeps the pelvic floor muscles strong which also help keep ED and incontinence at bay.

    #10: Mood Booster

    Back to those love chemicals. Masturbating releases dopamine and oxytocin which not only destress, but also lift the spirits, boost levels of happiness and satisfaction, and activate the reward circuits in the brain.

    Of course, a man needs to keep his member primed and ready for action at all times. That’s why it’s important to use a penis health creme (health professionals recommend Man 1 Man Oil , which has been clinically proven safe and mild for skin) which is created especially for delicate penile skin and contains all the nutrients and vitamins essential to a strong, supple penis. It’s a quick and easy piece that should be included in every man’s grooming regimen that not only is good for him but feels amazing too.

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    Source by John Dugan

    Views: 0

  • New Book Removes Fear From Sales With Practical, Easy-To-Implement Techniques

    New Book Removes Fear From Sales With Practical, Easy-To-Implement Techniques

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    As a small business owner, I found Greg Andersen's Small Business Sales, WTF (Without the Fear) full of practical advice, new ideas, and down-to-earth common sense to help me rethink my sales approaches. Andersen has been in sales for many years in the printing business, but the advice he offers is applicable to anyone in sales, especially small business owners who may be wearing all the hats themselves or unable to focus on sales because they're too busy looking after everything else.

    Small Business Sales, WTF is divided into two sections: Pre-Sales Planning, in which Andersen discusses products, going to market with products, creating a sales environment, and then The Sales Process, in which he explores how to find customers, make contact , get the opportunity to sell to the customer, execute the sale, and then follow up with and retain the customer long-term. Andersen walks readers through each step of the sales process, providing practical and personal examples of what has worked for him that readers can easily model or put their own spins on.

    Andersen writes in a humorous but tell-it-like-it-is style to dismiss myths about the sales process and cut through sales jargon to get to what the reader really needs to know. For example, early in the book, he has a list of "Words / Phrases you will not hear in my book." Among the phrases included is "Belly-to-Belly" to which he responds, "Gross. How about face-to-face." Another phrase is "Low Hanging Fruit," which he says does not really exist, and still another is "Hook," which he finds insulting because it assumes customers are suckers or fish. Instead, Andersen prefers to treat his customers like human beings and rather than "close the sale" come to an "agreement" between two parties who trust and respect each other.

    For most people, sales can have a bad name. No one likes being sold to, and people who reluctantly take on a sales role are aware of that and often fearful of selling. Andersen teaches readers how to remove the fear of sales by rethinking what sales really is. Most people dread the "cold call," so Andersen talks about instead viewing sales as "demand generation." It's about looking for where there is a demand for your services and then providing the product or service to fulfill that demand. It's also about listening to customers.

    Andersen states: "When all is said and done, only a few methods of outreach will really get you in contact with a prospective new customer-the phone, letter writing, a trade show, and email. What really counts is the technique you employ . " He then provides creative examples of how to handle sales through each of these approaches, as well as discussing social media as a sales strategy. His examples are drawn from personal experiences, from his days as a shoe salesman at Nordstrom to his current sales role in the printing industry. Best of all, he even includes copies of letters he has sent to clients. His techniques are simple and straightforward, so anyone, no matter how scared of sales, can implement them.

    Of course, there will be difficult clients or people who don't want to hear how you can help them. Andersen provides strategies for getting past the gatekeepers to the decision makers. He reveals his research techniques, which are quite clever and even include looking at prospective customers' job postings to determine who in a company is or will be in a buyer position for his product.

    When facing resistance from a potential client, Andersen realizes it's not always about him, his approach, or his product. I loved the following invaluable point he made: "Another way I like to approach these challenging situations is to remind myself that all these excuses mean the customer is probably protecting his current vendor. If he is being loyal to his current vendor, some day he will be loyal to me. Stay positive. " Personally, I know this is true as a business owner. If I have a vendor providing me with a good service at a good price, I feel loyal to that vendor and am not willing to change. Such clients may be resistant to change, but they are the ones you want because they are loyal. Andersen shows how persistence pays off in these situations. Sometimes he makes contact with customers who are not in need of his services right then, but years later, he secures business with them, and even if at first he doesn't get the level of business he wants, they often will give him some business as a trial and then he can work his way in to larger sales with them.

    Perhaps what I liked most about Andersen's approaches is that he truly believes in being responsive to clients. I cannot stress enough how frustrated I feel when I send an email to someone who does not reply to me for several days. I am personally always very responsive to my clients and usually reply within hours if not minutes. Andersen points out that even if you don't have an answer to a client's problem or you can't take the time to respond to a question at that moment, a simple response like, "I'm on it," lets clients know you will get back to them and then they can quit worrying about their problem and go on to the next item on their to-do list until you do get back to them. In other words, Andersen is always in favor of reassuring the client that you will do what you say and provide reliable and quality service.

    Altogether, Small Business Sales, WTF does take a lot of the fear and stress out of sales. I believe most readers will be pleasantly surprised by this book; they'll read Andersen's stories and examples and say to themselves, "I can do that," and even find ideas of their own popping into their heads as they build off of Andersen's advice. Whether you are a small business owner with absolutely no sales experience, are just starting out in sales, or have been in sales for years, there are plenty of nuggets of advice here that can make your sales process easier, more lucrative, and all around more enjoyable.

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    Source by Tyler Tichelaar

    Views: 0

  • NOW Is the Right Time to Step Out of Your Procrastination Habit

    NOW Is the Right Time to Step Out of Your Procrastination Habit

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    The right time is something that lots of people waste many precious moments waiting for.

    “When there is a hill to climb, don’t think that waiting will make it smaller.” ~ Author Unknown

    But if you think about it, what does ‘the right time’ actually mean? Well, here’s something you can try when you find yourself waiting for it, rather than:

    • Starting a project or task, or
    • Stopping a habit that you want to break, or
    • Embarking on an exercise regimen.

    As soon as you notice that you’re waiting, ask yourself, “What am I waiting for?”

    What are the circumstances that will make another moment the right time but disqualify this one? What do you think needs to happen to make your next step doable, if it isn’t doable now?

    “The habit of always putting off an experience until you can afford it, or until the time is right, or until you know how to do it is one of the greatest burglars of joy. Be deliberate, but once you’ve made up your mind -jump in.” ~ Charles R. Swindoll

    Not the Right Time? Maybe You Just Need Right-Sized Steps!

    And yes, first steps are often the most difficult. That’s why I encourage you to ‘chunk’ your tasks into the smallest steps possible. It is much better to have 10 small steps that 3 big ones.

    Why?

    Well, for starters, the smaller the step the more likely you are to… start! When your first step is doable, any time is the ‘right time.’

    Another way that chunking things down into small steps helps you get more done is this: You can use smaller time increments to do what you need to do. That means that you are often able to use the small ‘scraps’ of time between larger tasks to tick items off your to-do list.

    The smaller the step, the more likely you are to take it – it’s as simple as that. So if your Inner Procrastinator is telling you that the time isn’t ‘right’ you can always counter that voice by creating some smaller, more doable steps for yourself.

    So, if procrastination is something that frequently holds you back, you’re certainly not alone. Millions of people struggle with this energy draining time thief. Procrastination’s costs include lost productivity, lost income, lost opportunities, frazzled nerves and damaged relationships. Try some right-sized steps to get yourself moving again, today!

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    Source by Paula Eder

    Views: 0

  • Understanding Love's True Nature

    Understanding Love's True Nature

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    Since the dawn of homo sapiens, we have been investigating, experiencing, and trying to crack the secret code of love. Many of us seem to have forgotten that in the earlier days, free love was a scarcity. From aristocrats to slaves, marriages and relationships were often given as commands and choices of individuals in higher power and authority for political, religious, material and personal gains. Thus, there are the great love tragedies of "Romeo and Juliet" and "Abelard and Heloise", as well as countless others who were heedlessly persecuted for their innocent expression of love. These tragic love stories left many of us wondering, why is it so hard to love and what is like to experience that depth of love?

    Free will love has made much progress in the 21st century through the evolution of humans' love experiences, technological advancement, and cultural changes. In today's more liberal societies, people are given the freedom to choose and express their admirations and desires to the subjects of their affection with little or no consequences. However, in societies where we can freely choose whom we want to love, we have witnessed an increase in divorce rate, a decline in marriage rate, and more people delaying marriage for different reasons.

    Duality of Love

    But regardless whether we follow the "Abelard and Heloise" love model of 'following one to the end of the Hell' to 'you are just one of the 100 people that I am seeing and what is your name again?', We experience the universal conditions of pleasures and pains, the coming together, and the ultimate disintegration of love and relationships, no matter how little or how much we love. No matter how much wealth and power one possesses, one is still subject to others' emotional and physical transgressions.

    So, if we know the ultimate end to any love and relationship, why are we still relentlessly pursuing love, whether it is in the form of a committed monogamous relationship or sleeping with as many people as we can? What is it that we pursue in our teens, 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, and up to the moment of our death? And if we are to look back at our lives, would we regret the times we did not try harder, the people we have hurt, and most painful of all, we easily let go of that person who awakens our soul, only to learn so too late.

    Pleasures and pains are the twin brothers of love. We cannot expect one and not the other. We think we deserve God-like love and it is someone else's responsibility to make us happy. If we want God-like love, then we should put in God-like work. If we are not willing to open our hearts to experience judgements, disappointments, and pains in experiencing love, how can we ask for a love that brings us happiness? If we are not willing to overcome our egos and karmic conditionings, how we can manifest a love that brings us meaning? If we are not willing to heal our souls' deepest wounds, how can we expect to live without pain?

    Love's True Nature

    Perhaps we can think ourselves as individuals who have came together to help each other learn and master the experiences of love and separation in different forms: commitment, marriage, infidelity, rejection, betrayal, and abandonment. So, in facing repetitive failures, disappointments, and hurts, we don't easily give up, and we continue to seek, learn, and understand love's true nature. In doing so, we can look beyond the rise and fall of constant changes in our everyday interactions and relationships.

    We learn to not waste energy on trivial questions like why he / she never responded to my text or never called me back. We don't doubt our values ​​because the person we love chooses someone else and we respect his / her choice and will. We don't live the rest of our lives in disappointment and hurt over people's betrayal. We don't take the easy route of love at the expense of others.

    When we transcend our experiences and learnings, love is no longer an idea of ​​you, me, he, she, or us. To love is to release us from our pains, fears, regrets, shame, guilt, and delusions, so we can transcend beyond our limited perceptions of ourselves and what love is.

    We can overcome our conditioned desires that dictate our thinking, beliefs, and behaviors in relationships. We develop the wisdom and courage to stay true to our hearts and not give in to our fears and pains for short term pleasures and gains.

    In experiencing the beginning and end of all human love relationships and their associated pleasures and pains, we learn unconditional acceptance, forgiveness, and love.

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    Source by Wendy Lin

    Views: 0

  • Ready for a High Impact Mindset Reset?

    Ready for a High Impact Mindset Reset?

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    Your mindset, your thoughts, can buoy you up, inspiring you to take courageous action, or they can drag you down, keeping you up at night with worry and paralyzing you with fear. Even though our brains are wired to dwell on the negative, on past mistakes, how we think in this moment is something we can control.

    Changing our minds in the present moment can be hard work! I know from experience that when things aren’t going well, one of the toughest things to do is to turn your mind from impending doom to what is possible and what can be done.

    The good news is that the more you practice these mindset boosters, the easier they become. They do, in fact, become habits that kick in when you need them the most.

    The even better news is that the more you practice them, the more impact both you and your company will have. Staying on track and not allowing yourself to be pulled down will save you a lot of time and energy. The time and energy you free up can be spent on your company’s financial performance and having impact.

    S0 let’s look at ways you can do a mindset reset and the practices that will support you in doing so:

    The Future Doesn’t Just Happen – You Shape It Every Day

    Have you ever seen or read about people in the direst of circumstances who are transcendent, happy? And others who seem to have everything, and yet feel deprived? The way you choose to think about a situation, the parts of yourself that you call on, even dig deep for, are what determine your present and your future. Your thinking is integral to your character.

    When things look negative, question it. There’s always a way to think about a situation that includes a gift, an opportunity. This may seem contrived at first, but think about situations where you’ve suddenly had a shift in perspective and a solution appeared, seemingly out of nowhere. That’s the effect you want to be able to call on.

    “Circumstance does not make the person,

    it reveals the person to himself or herself.”

    ~James Allen

    People become leaders of successful, impactful companies by becoming the people who can lead those companies first. They walk with integrity. They make smart decisions. They step up and into opportunity with courage. They acknowledge their fears, but don’t indulge them. They learn and grow.

    You are becoming the leader of your high impact company right now, in how you show up every day. Treating people with respect. Listening to ideas. Choosing how you use your time and energy. Making decisions with your mind AND your heart.

    You can shape your future by consciously developing the mindset of the leader who leads your company in these ways.

    Doubling down on mission is one way to ensure that your company moves more in the direction of your impact. New Belgium Brewing became a benefit corporation in 2018, ingraining its commitment to internal and community impact in its legal framework, and is now the fourth-largest craft brewery in the US.

    Fear and Getting Through the Storm

    We all have fears. Fears about how the company will do financially this year, about that crucial new hire who looks promising but is unproven, or about how your new offering will fare in a busy market. Fears can abound, especially if nurtured and given attention.

    “The future you constantly worry about

    Is nothing other than a projection of fear and desire from the past.”

    ~Thich Nhat Hanh

    Fears can instead be a tool, an indicator. They can lead you to research, to ask good questions, and to explore options. As long as you don’t allow fears to take over the present, they can actually be valuable.

    One way to be vigilant about fears is with mindfulness. Mindfulness, that focus on the present, is more than a business fad. It’s a practice that decreases stress and increases productivity.

    The leaders of outdoor apparel maker Patagonia are committed to using their successful company as a vehicle to put mindfulness into action. Patagonia founder Yves Chouinard describes navigating what could be a terrifying Class 4 rapid as a teaching:

    • look ahead and prepare

      • be proactive
      • don’t ignore what is coming
      • think through scenarios
      • do what is necessary to get ready to the best of your ability
      • trust that you can handle whatever happens


    • go into a drop

      • take calculated risks
      • once you decide, follow through wholeheartedly


    • read the river

      • be vigilant
      • be perceptive
      • adjust as needed.

    That intuitive process has helped guide his business for the last 50 years. Chouinard believes that if the process isn’t sound, if your intentions don’t come from the right place, the outcome, even if profitable, doesn’t matter.

    Practicing wisdom by making decisions from a place of love rather than fear can open the door to creative solutions. When Patagonia’s CEO Casey Sheahan was faced with laying off 150 employees during the financial crisis, shortly after he took over from Chouinard, he was torn up about the decision. His wife asked him, “Are you making this decision from a place of fear, or from a place of love?” When he realized that it was fear driving the layoff decision, he found another way, leading to unheard-of sales levels after a few rocky quarters.

    Fear can be a driver of decisions and actions, but they don’t have to be. Elizabeth Gilbert in her book, Big Magic, tells the story of treating her fears like an inevitable passenger on a road trip. Fears can and will be there, but they can Never. Ever. Drive.

    Focus on Your Impact

    Do you find your Impact Purpose, a clear statement of the impact you want to have, inspiring? Does it fill you with energy? If it doesn’t, at least most of the time, you might be on the wrong track. Your clarity about the impact you want to have, whether it’s social or environmental or both, can serve as the rock on which you build your impactful business.

    When you steadily focus on your Impact Purpose, you’ll find your thoughts turning from short-term pain to what you could achieve in your business and community. This thinking about others, and not just yourself, is a way to bring you out of the doldrums or away from unhelpful divergent thinking, and back into focus on your impact.

    Reinforce this by having your Impact Purpose statement in front of you, every day. Have it on your desk or screen. In your wallet. On your fridge. Wherever you will be regularly reminded of what you intend, personally and with your company.

    Plan your day and week with your Impact Purpose in mind. Include it in your decisions about how time, money, and resources will be spent, and with whom. Thoughts aligned with purpose are a powerful creative force. Fill your attention with something worthwhile.

    The greatest achievement was at one time a dream. Stay with your dream. It’ll be part of your becoming.

    You Are the Company You Keep

    You may have heard the notion that you are the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with. That speaks to the influence that those around you have on your thinking and therefore on your actions.

    Some companies who are committed to having impact take this to a highly conscious level. Design firm LimeRed, led by Emily Lonigro Boylan, only works with individuals or organizations that have social impact. LimeRed only engages with clients whose values they share, who are kind and innovative, and who are also accountable to their stakeholders and communities.

    You as a business leader can also take this to another level by incorporating it into decisions about who you include on your team, your suppliers, and your partners. Do you vet who you work with every day through this lens? Do you extend this to your advisors, your pet projects, and your friends?

    You’re more likely to have impact when you devote all your energy and resources toward people and companies that also want to have impact in harmony with yours.

    Your mindset matters to your own fulfillment and well-being. It matters to your company, as you engage with your community and the larger world. Optimize your opportunity to have impact by doing this mindset reset.

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    Source by Ursula Jorch

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