Tag: Mind

  • Love Bombing: Are Some People Easy Targets For ‘Love Bombers’?

    Love Bombing: Are Some People Easy Targets For ‘Love Bombers’?

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    If one was single and they were to meet someone who showed a lot of interest in them, they could find that they end up being drawn to them. And what might also play a part here is that one may be physically attracted to them.

    Through being in this person’s presence, one could start to experience a lot of positive feelings. In a way, it could be as if this person is a breath of fresh air; with them being someone who has come into their life to make it better.

    A Fast Build Up

    After the first encounter, it might not be long until the other person is acting in a ways or talking about things that wouldn’t usually take place or be mentioned for quite some time. It will be clear that the other person doesn’t want to take their time and to allow everything to develop organically.

    It will be like starting in first gear and going straight into the last gear; instead of starting in first and gradually moving through each gear. At this point, one could have put their thinking brain to one side and be completely caught up in what is going on.

    For Example

    So after one has had their first encounter with this person, their phone could constantly go off. This can be a time when this person will message and call them, telling them how much they like them, how special they are and the type of things that they want to do with them, for instance.

    This person could also say that they should move in together and go into what their future will be like. Additionally, one may find that this person sends them gifts while they are at work and they could come across love notes and letters from them.

    The Next Stage

    After they have seen each other a few times or only known each other for a matter of weeks, the other person could ask them if they are now in a relationship. They could even go one step further than this by talking about how much they love them.

    And if they do end up moving in together after such a short period of time, one could spend even less time with others. In fact, ones whole life could end up revolving around their partner – someone they have only just met.

    On Top Of the World

    At this point one could feel as though they are on cloud nine, with them basking in positive feelings and the loving behaviour of their partner. Nonetheless, it might not be long until their partner starts to change.

    Now that this person has pulled one in, they could end up trying to control how they live their life. If one doesn’t do what they want, they might find that their partner leaves or that it is not possible to get hold of them.

    Hot and Cold

    This person will have done everything that they could to warm them up in the beginning and, how that they have them in the palm of their hands, so to speak, they will take advantage of them. Due to their fear of losing their partner and being rejected and/or abandoned, one can have the need to do whatever their partner wants them to do.

    If this means no longer seeing their friends and family, putting their interests to one side and/or neglecting their own health, for instance, they will do it to try to regain their ‘love’. Ultimately, one will have become hooked on their partner’s attention or the dopamine that they trigger inside them, which is why they won’t feel good when their attention is no longer there.

    Drawing the Line

    One could then do what their partner wants and before long, they could pull away again. They might turn up in a few days or it could be a number of months before they reappear.

    Clearly, having this person in their life is not doing them any good, and the sooner they cut their ties with them the better. There are a number of things that they can do to gradually get back on their feet and to regain their energy.

    A Few Steps

    Firstly, it will be a good idea for one to no longer speak to this person in person, over a screen, or over the phone. If this person won’t accept this, one may need to get in touch with the police.

    Secondly, it will be good for them to get back in touch with family and friends, so that they can go over what took place and gain their support. Thirdly, taking time to do what they enjoy will make it easier for them to take their mind of this person, and, fourthly, they may need to reach out for the assistance of a therapist or a healer, for instance.

    Stepping Back

    It could be said that just about anyone could be love bombed, yet there are going to be things that will make one more susceptible to this type of behaviour. And if one has gone through this experience on more than one occasion, it is likely to show they need to take a deeper look into why this keeps taking place.

    However, this is not about one blaming or shaming themselves for what has taken place; it is simply about them taking a step back and looking into what they might need to do to prevent this from taking place again. This is about awareness as if one can see that there is a reason why this keeps taking place; they can do something about it.

    A Closer Look

    If they were to do this, what might become clear is that they don’t feel good about themselves. Therefore, as soon as someone comes along and gives them so much positive feedback, they drink it all up.

    Said another way, they are in a position where they desperately want someone to love them. Consciously or unconsciously, a love bomber realises this and ends up exploiting their weakness.

    An Easy Target

    If one did value themselves, they wouldn’t need as much from another person, and this would enable them to be more discerning when it comes to who they allow into their life. And as opposed to feeling good when another person comes on strong right at the start, they might end up feeling as though something isn’t right.

    They might realise that as this person knows very little about them, it probably shows that they are trying to manipulate them. The love that they have for themselves will also allow them to have strong boundaries.

    Additional Points

    Furthermore, through valuing who they are, they would most likely have a number of close friends who they can share their life with. These people would then be there to give them feedback and to support them.

    Another part of this is that one would also do things that they enjoy and this would strengthen them and fill their life with meaning. They would value themselves enough not to neglect themselves.

    The Reason

    If one was to find that they don’t value themselves, it could show that their early years were not very nurturing. This may have been a time in their life when they were abused and/or neglected.

    Thanks to how they were treated, they would have come to believe that they were worthless and they may carry the pain of being rejected and abandoned. Being treated badly is then going to be something that feels comfortable at a deeper level.

    Awareness

    If one can relate to this, and they want to embrace their inherent value, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

    ​

    There will be the negative beliefs that that they need to question and replace, and there will be the emotional wounds that they need to heal. The main thing is that one does what they need to do and doesn’t give up on themselves.

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    Source by Oliver JR Cooper

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  • Tips to Help You Put Together an Effective B2B Sales Strategy

    Tips to Help You Put Together an Effective B2B Sales Strategy

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    If you are a B2B business owner, make sure you reevaluate your sales strategy from time to time. Since this is the age of the Internet, product / service related information is easily available to B2B buyers. Given below are a few tips and tricks that can help you put together a solid sales strategy.

    Research your Customers

    First off, you may want to call your prospective leads right away. Actually, you should give them some time to do their homework before you ask your sales reps to contact them. You can take a look at their sites and then follow them on major social media websites, which will give you a pretty good idea of ​​which leads you should target.

    Train your Sales Reps

    Also, make sure your sales representatives have good knowledge of your products and services. In other words, they should have solid know-how of the features and functions of your products. With this knowledge, your sales reps can find it easier to convince your customers.

    Ask Questions

    Once you have done your research, you can give a call to the qualified leads. The idea is to find out more information about them and the problems they have been facing. For the resolution of their problems, you can recommend your products or services.

    Listen More

    Make sure you can communicate well with your target customers. Learn to listen to them and then present your services as a solution to their problems.

    Here, it's important to keep in mind that an effective sales strategy should revolve around the customers instead of your products alone.

    Have a Consultative Approach

    If you want to grow your B2B sales, make sure you have something to give to your customers. For instance, you can provide good advice and general tips that can help your customers grow their business using what you offer. You can even recommend good online courses, blogs, and books.

    Develop Relationships

    If you have some customers who show some interest in your offers, don't push them to sign a deal. Instead, give them enough time to think about the deal. Offering a free of charge demo is also a great idea.

    Remember: developing a strong business relationship is a lot more important than the deal. What you need to do is work on building a strong reputation as an honest business advisor.

    Have a Customer-Oriented Approach

    As far as a B2B sales strategy is concerned, it's important to show empathy towards your customers. The more you do it, the better. Also, make sure your teams communicate with each other to find out more about what your customers want. This will help your teams get equipped with more knowledge.

    In the same way, make sure your sales team knows everything about what they want to sell. Ideally, they should have the industry knowledge as well. So, you may want to train them to keep your customers delighted.

    Long story short, if you use these strategies, you can attract a lot of B2B customers, which will grow your business at the end of the day.

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    Source by Shalini M

    Views: 0

  • What’s Your Personal Plan, For Healthy Living?

    What’s Your Personal Plan, For Healthy Living?

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    There is no such thing, as a magic formula, or a, one – step/ size – fits – all, approach, to healthy living. Some focus primarily on exercise, others on improving their diet, and, many discover, the best combination, or plan, for them. Are you, in a weight – range, where you are not, considered, obese, or extremely, underweight? Do you experience, any warning signs, or symptoms, which need to be addressed, before they become more serious, etc? With that in mind, this article will briefly, consider, examine, review, and discuss, a few things, to consider, in order to evaluate your personal needs, and proceed, towards healthier living.

    1. Consider your weight and BMI, or Body Mass Index: Are your weight, and BMI, or Body Mass Index, where they need to be? Are they within, normal limits, and, if not, why do you believe that’s so, and how might you best address this? Be careful, to avoid over – reacting, and resorting to some crash, or fad – diet, but, rather, consider, one of the variety of conventional diets, and choose one, which you believe, you will stick – to! For some, certain diets, which are well – known, are effective, but, only, if you, will stick to them, consistently. These often include a prepared meal plan, but, before opting for these, be certain, you will be willing, and able, to use them. If you don’t eat, or have an allergy, to certain foods, of food groups, choose wisely. Many have found success with low carbohydrate diets, because they focus on changing your eating habits, and focus, on maintaining these habits, for life.

    2. Exercise: Before embarking on any diet, or exercise program, discuss these plans, with your trusted, health professional, to be certain, you avoid any restrictions, or over – doing, and doing more harm! The key to this, is, whichever approach, you opt for, you are ready, willing, and able, to persist, and consistently follow your program, on a regular, planned basis.

    3. Water: Most of us, do not consume, enough water, for optimum health. Besides necessary, hydration, many studies have indicated, when we consume more water, we are often, less hungry, and, thus, eat less. However, this water consumption, will probably mean, more trips, to the rest room, so be prepared, and willing!

    4. A combination: Perhaps, you will be happier, and more successful, using some combination, of the available processes. Choose wisely, understand your needs, goals, and personal attitude, and avoid procrastination.

    These ideas are, a few of the possible approaches. Whether you choose, these, or others, determine, what you need, and are willing to do, and proceed, with true commitment!

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    Source by Richard Brody

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  • Secrets to A Winning Mindset

    Secrets to A Winning Mindset

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    To succeed in life requires a lot of courage because there is almost

    nothing in this world that is 100% risk-free. Winning or losing comes

    from the mind that is why a winning mindset is crucial to achieving

    set goals irrespective of the difficulties or challenges encountered.

    No matter how small your goals are or how lofty your dreams may be,

    you cannot achieve much without a winning mindset, which is the force

    that generates the power and enthusiasm that drives you.

    When you see successful people, they not only have a winning attitude

    but also possess the winning mindset. Giving up is not among the

    traits of winners and following through to the end is never the habit

    of losers. To get to the pinnacle of success, you must have a winning

    mindset that results from positive thinking and perspective to issues.

    Tips to Having a Winning Mindset

    Do you see successful people and wish to follow in their footsteps?

    Are you searching for ways to develop a positive mindset? Do you want

    to nurture your mind with the winning attitude? Here are the tips to

    help you have a winning mindset.

    1. Have an It-Is-Possible Belief

    There is a great connection between what you believe and the result

    you get from your efforts. The best way to start creating a winning

    mindset is to have a positive belief and be addicted to that thought.

    By having an ‘it-is-possible’ mindset, you are setting your mind above

    all limitations and obstacles on the path to achieving your goals.

    When this thought gets into your subconscious mind, it will become

    effortless to see possibility in having things go your way.

    2. Set Goals and Have a Detailed Plan

    Remember that every success has an equal chance of failure. As a

    result, do not attempt anything without setting a goal and creating a

    detailed plan to achieve your goal. Identify factors that could cause

    your failure and plug every necessary hole and take advantage of the

    factors that can drive your goals to success. Be meticulous in planning.

    3. Spare No Efforts / Never Think About Quitting

    To have a winning mindset, be ready to go all out and leave no stone

    unturned. Do not spare any efforts and you must be prepared to see

    your goals achieved regardless of how long you need to labor or how

    much pain you must endure. You must not think of quitting – it is the

    habit of losers.

    4. Declare Your Anticipated Result to Yourself

    There is a strong force behind positive confession. Make a declaration

    (speak out) of the result you are expecting to yourself every time.

    Let this positive thought fill your head then get into your heart; let

    it take over your mind and finally get into your subconscious mind.

    Doing this will embolden you with positive energies and a winning

    mindset that will push you beyond your limit to achieve your dream or

    set goals.

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    Source by Carl Mathis

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  • The 99 Divine Healing Names

    The 99 Divine Healing Names

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    Allah

    The words Allah and God mean the essence of all things. There is nothing separate and everything is inclusive. In the Qur’an it asks Muslims to call upon Allah by his “most beautiful names. “

    You don’t have to be Muslim for these words to have an effect on your life. I have found the words really powerful because they are not a language that I have learned, and so they bypass my conscious mind.

    There are more than 99 Names but these are the main ones that are invoked.

    At the essence of the One (this is the same as when people say we are all One in Spirit) there is no differentiation between the words, but we may use these Qualities and their different meanings to clear the veils (blocks) back to the One.

    Sound Healing

    Each of the Divine names can be called upon, whether it be in one’s mind or heart; chanted or silent. They work on so many levels; the level of the ego, the layers of the Heart, the Soul and the Secret, all affecting the physical body.

    Aside from the spiritual meaning of each name, there is also a sound component. A well-known sound is Om in Buddhism, the 99 names are similar. They are Arabic and Arabic is considered a sacred language. If you break down the name Al-lah, each sound has a vibration and an effect.

    You can break it down even further, each consonant and each vowel works at a different vibrational level.

    Negative Associations of Allah

    Unfortunately because of the extremists in Islam there is a negative perception of the word Allah. So if you get past the fact Allah is not a bearded man in the sky judging you, you can start to have a relationship with the Name of the One, and feel the effects of this word in your mind, body, heart, soul and spirit.

    Some of the 99 Names are:

    • Ar- Rahman meaning compassion and mercy
    • Al-Fattah meaning to open and success
    • Al-Basir meaning to see
    • Al-Malik meaning sovereignty
    • and more

    There are western books and apps out there where you can learn more about the 99 names and the many characteristics and qualities that each names has and works with.

    You can use them to deal with a multitude of issues, ie: depression, anxiety, anger, needing help with a health issue, needing to manifest something and much more.

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    Source by Kate Strong

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  • Entrepreneurial Mind Frame

    Entrepreneurial Mind Frame

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    Entrepreneurs make up only about 15% of the working population in the US. Far fewer actually succeed than those who attempt to become self employed business people and venture out on their own. So what makes people decide to take the entrepreneurial path, when so few actually make it a reality?

    Is the American dream a possibility for anyone, or, does it take more than most to become a successful entrepreneur?

    The success of an entrepreneur does depend on their mindset. A large percentage of business owners will quit in their first five years in business. What is needed is the fortitude and belief that goes with attaining success.

    Entrepreneurs are risk takers and dreamers. The difference between the dreamer and the entrepreneur though, is that the entrepreneur takes actions based on their dreams. They persist through the hardships and never give up! Many entrepreneurs start with an idea. Their success is determined by their belief that they can create something greater than simple monetary success. Often, it is about creating something which will benefit the world.

    James Dyson, for example, came up with the idea of the bagless vacuum cleaner. Despite multiple set backs, over 5000 prototypes and not being able to get any manufacturers or distributors to accept his idea, he persevered. It was over a decade after his initial idea when his concept came to fruition. Even then, it was after a lot of difficulties and hardship due to the vacuum replacement bag industry, which was worth £100 million in the UK.

    In Simon Sinek’s book ‘Start With Why’, he suggests that the biggest companies in the world are so because of their “why?” – their reasons for building a business in the first place. In all cases, it wasn’t just to make money, or make technology better, or some whimsical ideology.

    The Wright Brothers, for example, became known as the pioneers of the first manned flight. But their competition was much better funded and well connected – Samuel Pierpont Langley had worked at Harvard, had a number of powerful connections, including Andrew Carnegie and Alexander Graham Bell. The War Department funded his project with a $50k grant, a seemingly massive advantage to the unconnected Wright Brothers who had no money or influence. However, their passion and devotion to change the world with this new technology drove them to attain the first flight in history in 1903.

    Desire for material things and monetary wealth can only carry someone so far. Unless you have a goal or passion which is bigger than that, you may lose the momentum and fail to maintain your enthusiasm for any length of time.

    The entrepreneurial mindset is one which taps into your purpose. Without a purpose driven goal or aim, it can’t take long before disillusionment kicks in. With a mindset which takes into account a larger purpose, entrepreneurs can build huge businesses because they ‘saw’ a vision of what they wanted to create. If the purpose is greater than the obstacles which lie in the path of attaining it, no amount of setbacks will stop you from achieving your goal.

    On the other hand, if you set out to do something and something gets in the way and stops you, your initial reason, (your “why?”), may not have been strong enough to endure all the battles along the way.

    Entrepreneurial mind frame (or mindset) therefore, must be aligned with both your vision, your values and your purpose. If your values are not in alignment with your purpose and vision, you’ll come up against road blocks which will stop you from achieving your goal.

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    Source by Tim Halloran

    Views: 0

  • The reassurance of having a pressure-tested portfolio

    The reassurance of having a pressure-tested portfolio

    Karin Risi and Tim Buckley discuss the peace of mind Vanguard Personal Advisor clients can gain from knowing their portfolio has been “pressure tested” against thousands of market scenarios.
    The reassurance of having a pressure-tested portfolio
    Read More
    https://investornews.vanguard/the-reassurance-of-having-a-pressure-tested-portfolio/

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  • THE RIGHT OF A CHILD TO A KNOWLEDGE OF SEX

    Social conditions of childhood changed.—The social conditions of childhood have changed much in the last fifty years. Just as our children have opportunities and possibilities far greater than had we when we were children; so they are exposed to temptations and dangers greater than were we, when we were children. The suggestive, and oft-times positively obscene pictures on post cards, in books and on billboards; the viciously immoral literature; the cheap moving picture shows of to-day, were not social problems threatening the purity of our childhood.

    Knowledge of self important.—There were ethical, biological and vital truths that our parents, because of mock modesty and a false and inadequate education, failed to give us in our childhood. This was a serious defect in our early education. We met with temptations, were often overcome by them and we are not what we might have been had we been safeguarded by a better knowledge of ourselves. But, because of the better social conditions of our childhood, we were better able to grow up without this information and with less injury to ourselves, than our children can, without this information, under present social conditions. If we would safeguard the character of the children of to-day and the youths of to-morrow and the manhood and the womanhood of the succeeding day we must give our children a correct knowledge of themselves.

    The confidence of childhood.—When children are born, they have a capacity for learning how to stand alone, crawl, walk, love and hate, speak and read, to judge of what is right and wrong. All they may come to know in the future, true or false, good or evil, they must learn. Coming into our homes without knowledge and utterly helpless, they naturally come to recognize their parents as their rightful teachers and to have absolute confidence in them. Ask a child from three to ten years old who he thinks is the best man in the world. The reply will be, “my papa.” Ask him who he thinks is the best woman in the world. The instinctive reply will be, “my mamma.” The answer may be true or false, but we do not question the sincerity of the child. The greatest calamity that can come to that child, comes when he is compelled by convincing evidence to reverse in his judgment this sincereand implicit faith in the goodness of his parents. No greater misfortune than this, can come to the parents. This natural and complete confidence and dependence of the child gives the parents a very decided advantage over all other teachers in the future training of the child.

    Inquisitiveness of childhood.—It is because of this natural confidence that the child goes to the parents with his many questions. The almost ceaseless activity and playfulness of a child, are in response to nature’s call for exercise in the natural and healthful development of every organ of the body. The many questions of a child are in response to nature’s call for exercise in the development of every faculty of the mind. The unfolding, growing, developing mind of a child naturally asks questions. It is for this reason that a child is said to be an animated interrogation point. Some of the questions of a child may perplex a philosopher, tax the patience of a Job, or embarrass a brass monkey; but the naturalness and sincerity of the child demand honesty, frankness and wisdom on the part of parents.

    How did I get into this world?—At the age of three, four and five the child will begin to ask questions as, “Where does the rain come from? Where does the snow come from? Where do the clouds come from?” When kittens, pups, pigs, a calf, a colt are born, the child very naturally asks about their origin. The child is told repeatedly that he is four, five or six years old; that he has had that number of birthdays and has seen that number of Christmases. He remembers only half of them. He listens with interest to his parents as they relate some thrilling event of years gone by. A bright inquiring child will naturally ask, “Mamma, was I in the world at that time?” The mamma replies, “No, darling, that happened six months before you were born.” How very natural it was for the child to ask, “Well, mamma, where was I at that time? How did I get into the world?” An angel could not be more sincere, or ask a purer question. This was no evidence of the child’s depravity. When I find a child of seven or eight years old who has not asked about his origin, I know that one of three conditions will explain this unusual mental state of the child. (1) The parents have not encouraged the child’s mental development by permitting him to be free in asking questions. (2) The child has heard the story of life told by vicious companions, in half truths, clothed in vulgar language and is keeping his information a secret from his parents. (3) The child is not developing quite as fast as I would like for my child to develop.

    The unsatisfied mind.—When the inquiring mind of a child has once become interested in this question, it is not possible for him to be satisfied until a plausible answer has been received. The child’s future, physical, mental and moral life more largely depends upon the answer given to this question, than to any other question of his childhood.

    The most vital part of a child’s education neglected.—In the past, parents, teachers, reformers and ministers have very largely held to the old theory, that, if children are to be kept pure and innocent, they must be kept ignorant of all information pertaining to sex. We have them learn the physiology, anatomy and hygiene of their brain, heart, lungs, digestive and nervous systems as if their very lives depended upon a correct knowledge of these parts; but we have allowed them to grow up in total ignorance concerning the sacred sanctuary and function of human reproduction, upon which so much of health, happiness and success in life depends.

    Mistakes of the past.—In the past all faithful parents have loved their children as much as we have loved our children. They were as much interested in safeguarding the virtue of their children as are the parents of to-day. They endeavored to train their children in harmony with their ideals of right. Our parents, in their childhood, got the idea that all language and information concerning sex was essentially impure. All their information was received from vicious, ignorant sources. In matured life, they came to see that all the words and language they had heard pertaining to sex and all the mental and moral impressions they had received, had done them great harm. Their experience led them unwisely to conclude that all information of this kind is injurious to a child. They failed to see the difference between receiving only half-truths, expressed in vulgar words and phrases, taught by the vicious and ignorant; and in receiving the pure truth, in chaste language from the lips of a wise teacher, a noble father or a pure mother. A nugget of gold may be pure gold, whether found in a mud hole, a slop bucket, a tar bucket, or a clear stream of water. But, if you come in contact with the surroundings of the gold, your remaining clean, becoming cleaner, or becoming soiled, will depend on the place where you find the gold. The effects, good or bad, of sex knowledge, upon a child are largely determined by where and how he gets his information. If he gets this information from a careful and wise teacher no harm can come from it. If he gets the information from the misinformed and the impure, only harm will follow.

    To teach sex truths, two qualifications necessary.—You would not think of having your child taught mathematics by one, who, himself, was never properly taught, or who knew only half-truths about mathematics. You might not demand of him a moral qualification, if he possessed the intellectual equipment. But, in the teaching of sex, a moral qualification is even more necessary than the intellectual. But few adults are prepared to tell the story of life to a child, and fewer still are prepared to give additional instruction as the child grows older. For one to do this work successfully two qualifications are absolutely necessary. (1) Parents and teachers must have a moral qualification. They must regard the organs of sex and their functions as pure and sacred. If they have the taint of lasciviousness in their thoughts of the creative function, it would be a dangerous experiment for them to attempt to teach their children about the origin of life, or to give other instruction to those more advanced in years. The misinformation and false education they received in childhood and the consequent mock modesty, are the greatest difficulties in the way of their performing this sacred duty to their children. For this reason the adult classes are as much in need of correct instruction in sex as are the children. (2) Parents and teachers must have a mental qualification. One-fifth of the names referring to the organs of sex, their functions and their abuse, that adults are forced to use when they try to express their thoughts about sex, could not be found in the dictionary, and, one-half of those that could be found in the dictionary would not refer in their meaning, even remotely, to the sexual system. They picked up these words in childhood from ignorant schoolmates and companions whose minds were tainted with debasing thoughts of sex. The use of these vulgar words, in the presence of a boy who has heard them before, suggests to his mind that which is lascivious. Those who would teach these things, to the young or old, should be able to command a chaste, clean, plain, language.

    How a father failed.—During one of my courses of lectures, a cultured lawyer invited me to his office for an interview. He reproduced, in language and gesture as best he could, a speech he had made to his twelve-year old boy warning him of the dangers of the secret sin. I saw the lawyer was deeply interested in his boy. He loved him and was deeply concerned about his future. The language he used was the same he had learned when a boy and the same his boy had evidently heard on the playground. I question whether the father’s advice did his son much good. Here was a case where good service was neutralized by suggestive language.

    How a teacher failed.—A few months ago I lectured in a city where immorality was appalling. The superintendent of schools called into the chapel about six hundred boys, from ten to eighteen, and attempted to lecture them on social purity. He soon became embarrassed, used some street terms, excited lascivious thoughts, looks, smiles and laughter among the boys and utterly failed in his efforts. If this lawyer and teacher failed with the advantages and solicitude they must have had, would not the great mass of parents, teachers and ministers fail for the same reasons.

    Parents not wholly responsible.—A few editors, doctors and reformers have censured parents severely for not teaching their children the truth on these subjects. They should remember that ten years ago a very few parents had read a sane book or listened to an intelligent lecture on these subjects. Their only information had been gained from the playground and street on the sly. Courses of lectures, adapted to age and sex, should be given in every community. Ministers, teachers, physicians, merchants, parents, young and old, educated and uneducated, all should hear them. A few standard books on sex-hygiene and social purity should be put in every home. Jesus said, “Ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free.” More people are in physical, mental and moral slavery because of ignorance concerning the laws of sex, than all other causes combined. It follows that those who have learned the truth should impart it to those who have it not.

    How children have been treated in the past.—We have seen how parents have been led in the past to conclude that all information as to the origin of life is injurious to a child. For a child to inquire, “Where was I before I was born? How did I get into this world?” was a sure sign of his depravity. As a result of these traditionary ideas some parents have slapped a child for asking about his origin. Still, others have scolded and ordered the child from the room, commanding him never to ask such ugly questions again. What must be the feelings of a child treated in such an unappreciative and heartless way! Such treatment has never satisfied the inquiring mind of any child. Under such treatment a child will go off alone, pained and puzzled to know what was wrong in that simple, natural, honest question. In most cases the child’s question has been evaded by some one of a hundred falsehoods about “swamps,” “sinkholes,” “hollow logs and stumps,” “bird nests,” “storks,” “old women,” “doctor’s satchel,” and “under a cabbage head.” When only a small boy, I was called from my bed early one spring morning to see a beautiful colt the mare had found. For awhile I looked at the colt with admiration and wonder. Then I very naturally inquired, “Where did the mare find her colt?” I was told that she found it in a nearby brush pile. For the next six months no brush pile escaped my eager eyes.

    An example.—On my second lecture trip through Canada, a father told me how he answered his little girl’s question, “Papa, how did I get into this world?” His answer was as follows: “Daughter, God dropped you out of heaven one day while it was raining. Papa saw you falling from a cloud and ran out and caught you in his arms and brought you into the house.” That father was boasting of his tact and wisdom.

    Another example.—A mother in the South, in reply to a similar question asked by her five-year-old boy, said: “Son, God sent you into this town on the Cotton Belt train, about three o’clock one afternoon. The doctor was at the depot and saw you. He knew that we wanted a little boy, so he put you in his satchel and brought you to mamma.” When this mother related this to me, her boy was nine years old and had not asked her another word about his origin. At the close of my lecture, with tears in her eyes, she said: “Professor, do you suppose that my little boy has been hearing vulgar stories and is keeping his information a secret from mamma?” “Yes, nine times out of ten, if you have a bright boy,” was my reply. Upon investigation she found that her boy had been hearing vulgar talk for about three years. How long do you suppose it will take that boy to eradicate from his mind and heart the evil effects of such training? It is not a question whether your child and mine shall get this information or not. That question is settled. The child will get the information. The questions for us to settle are: When shall this information be given? Who shall give it? What shall be given? How shall it be given?

    Results of the old method.—I shall not call in question the love, sincerity and honesty of these parents. In most cases they were sincere and did the best they knew how. I am concerned about the results of this time-honored method. Did the old method of deception, misleading and false replies ever satisfy the inquiring mind of a child? Did the old method ever make a child wiser? Did it ever lead a child to regard human reproduction as delicate, sacred and pure? Did it ever lead a child to greater love and faith in its parents? Only negative answers can be given to all these questions.

    How the child finds out.—As a rule, it is not long after a child becomes interested in his origin until some older child, a playmate or servant will say, “I know something that you do not know. You would like to know it. It is how little children come into this world. I will tell you all about it, if you will not tell your mamma and papa about it.” I do not care how good the child may be, how well trained, or how obedient: such is the intense interest of a child in the mystery of his life that he will agree to keep the story a secret. Now the child listens eagerly to the half-truths, couched in impure language and gets a perverted vision of the origin of life.

    What are some of the results?—Five very sad misfortunes have come to the child. (1) The child has learned that his parents evaded his question; in most cases, he discovers the answer to have been a falsehood. (2) To the extent that the child comprehends the falsehood, does he lose confidence in his parents. (3) He has learned to keep these vital matters a secret from his parents. (4) The child cannot think of his parents’ relation to the initial of his life, except in terms of vulgarity. Early images do not easily leave the mind of a child. Ugly words, impure pictures, obscene language, with all their vile suggestiveness, ofttimes remain through life. (5) He regards the organs of sex and their functions as vile and sinful. God never planned that any human being should entertain any such degrading and demoralizing views of the divinely created organs and function of human reproduction. It is impossible to estimate the evil effects of this false training. Yet, there are many people, often very religious, who estimate their modesty, refinement and culture by the degree of conscious shame they have when questions of sex are referred to. Just to the extent that we fail to see that God is the author of sex, that sex is sacred and pure, our glory and not our shame, has a false training degraded us.

    Boys lose confidence in their parents.—You ask, does a child lose confidence in his parents when he has discovered that they have told him a falsehood about his origin? Certainly he does. In the past three years not fewer than seven hundred and fifty young men from eighteen to thirty-five have written me for advice in regard to their youthful indiscretions. One question I have invariably asked those young men, “Did your father ever warn you of your sexual dangers?” Only two have replied in the affirmative. Those young men were once as innocent and pure as your little boy. They first went to their parents for information about these delicate matters. They were treated as I have described. They received their information from sources and in a way that led to sexual abuse.

    Girls lose confidence in mother.—While on a seven thousand-mile lecture trip, in company with twenty other lecturers, conducting purity conventions in many of the large cities in the United States and Canada, after the evening sessions were over, in company with one or two detectives and other parties of our crowd, we visited the “red light” districts and saw several thousand erring girls from twelve to twenty years old. Those girls were once as innocent, pure and sweet as yours or mine. They first went to their mothers and asked about the origin of their lives. Those were golden opportunities for safeguarding the virtue of those girls. More easily than at any other time in life could those girls have been impressed with the sacredness of sex. At no other time in life is it so true that “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” Much more of Christian effort is put forth to rescue the fallen than to prevent the youths from falling. More churches are open to lectures on rescue work than on preventive work. More money can be raised for rescue work than can be raised to prevent youths from falling.

    Boys and girls want to know the real truth.—One morning a number of high school boys requested that I give them a lecture more advanced than the one I had given. While passing through the hall, at the close of this special lecture to the young men, I was approached by the lady principal with the request from the high school girls for a special lecture. She told me that fourteen had made the request and that several added: “We wish that Prof. Shannon was a lady lecturer. There are so many things we would like to know, but would hesitate to ask a gentleman lecturer.” Then the lady teacher added, “I said, girls, why do you not ask your mamma for such information?” With hands uplifted, a look of surprise, a gasp for breath, those girls replied: “I would not think of asking mamma such questions.” Why not? Let me tell you why. When they were little innocent girls they went to their mothers with their first questions of sex. They were treated as already indicated. Their inquiring minds and unsatisfied interests in the mysteries of life led them to go elsewhere for this information. It was at this point in their lives that a chasm started to form between themselves and their mothers. There is not one boy in twenty-five who will go voluntarily to his father for information or advice about his sex-nature. The same statement is almost as true about girls and their mothers.

    1,000,000 children adrift.—1,500,000 children are born annually in this Christian nation. One-third of this number die before they are ten years old. Annually one million children inquire, “How did I get into this world?” Not more than one in twenty receive a kind, truthful and intelligent reply. More than nine-tenths are treated in one of the following ways: (1) Told some one of fifty falsehoods. (2) A slap, with orders to clear out. (3) Some form of ridicule, such as “shame on you.” “Don’t let me hear you ask such an ugly question again.” “I am disgusted with you.” That settles it. The golden cords of confidence and influence are severed. Never again will those children go to their parents for information pertaining to sex. Elsewhere, they will find friends who will gladly give them the information. These children, one million strong, are now adrift on the storm-tossed sea of passion, without chart or compass; drifting, drifting, drifting for years toward ports, to them, unknown.
    Danger!

    Danger!

     

    The virtue of a quarter of a million of boys sacrificed.—Time passes. The boys are now sixteen to twenty-five. They have boon and base companions. Their imaginations are at fever heat with morbid interest and their ambitions are aflame with daring. One quarter of a million young men annually sacrifice the priceless gem of manhood’s virtue just here. Now, they are nearing the fearful rapids of vice where most of this number annually become diseased and many perish as sex-maniacs in the awful maelstrom of lust.

    60,000 girls annually.—With the passing of time, the girls from twelve to seventeen, many without the safeguard of knowledge, are associating freely, gayly with their boon male companions, exposed to all the temptations and dangers incident to young womanhood. Many, many thousand young women annually sacrifice the priceless gem of womanhood’s virtue just here. Owing to the double standard of morals, sixty thousand of this number are forced against their own wills into the public maelstroms of immorality.

    Who is to blame.—Thousands of poor prudish parents line the shores, and, with broken, bleeding hearts are crying out in anguish, “My God, my God, why has this awful blow fallen on us?” The poor, ignorant, diseased, exiled, passion-ridden children, in many cases beyond the reach of the home, society and the church, exclaim, “Oh, if I had only been told of these dangers!”

    All along the almost socially inaccessible rock-bound shores of this sea of human passion, the churches and philanthropists are building and maintaining rescue and foundling homes at an outlay of millions in money. They are not, and cannot, rescue one in twenty. The foundling homes are crowded to a dangerous, unsanitary overflowing with illegitimate children, whose mothers are out in the rapids of vice, or entirely lost in the maelstrom of immorality. Too long have the churches been satisfied with snatching, here and there, a piece of human wreckage from the waves of vice, instead of erecting a lighthouse system of properly warning and informing the childhood of the land.

    The new way.—We have seen the results of the old way of dealing with children in matters of sex. Is there a new and better way? We shall see. “Ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free.” The new and better way is to tell the truth to the child.

    How shall a child be told.—One day when our little girls were four and six, wife said, “Husband, I am in trouble about our little girls. They are asking where they were before they were born and how they got into this world. How am I to answer them?” “Tell them the truth,” was my reply. “But, they are not old enough to be told the whole truth,” was her reply. We talked over the problem and arrived at the following solution of the problem: Since I had been a teacher of biology for years, and it was presumed that I was familiar with the stories of life among the plants and animals, it was agreed that I should at once tell them a nice little story about God’s beautiful plan of bringing all the little plants into the world. Six months later I was to tell them the story of life about the oysters and fish. Every six months to a year I was to tell them a more advanced story. As they were girls, wife reserved the right to tell them the last story to be told when they were nine and ten.

    These stories were all told in the order given. Our girls are now twelve and fourteen. We have never had an occasion to regret that we have followed this natural method of instructing them. They seem to have no morbid curiosity about questions of sex. They look upon the facts as being natural, sacred and pure. Wife and I can approach them on these subjects without embarrassment to them or us.

    When should a child be told?—The average boy should be told all these stories by the time he is eight, not later than nine. The average girl should be told all these stories by the time she is nine, not later than ten. The developing mind of the average child and the social influences to which he is exposed, demand that he be safeguarded by the whole truth, this early in life. While the girl and boy develop alike until they are ten or eleven, the boy being exposed to vicious companions more than is his sister, he should be told the story of life earlier than she. At the age of seven, boys know more about these things than the girls do at ten and twelve. You had better tell the child the truth at six, than to have him told by the vicious at the age of seven. If a child could understand the story of life at three, and was properly trained afterward, this information could not do him one particle of harm. This statement is either absolutely true, or God is the author of a plan of human increase, the knowledge of which is essentially sinful. Personally, I decline to believe the latter.

    If the child has been informed by vicious playmates or servants and his mind has been tainted, the only sane and safe method is to tell him the full truth as quickly as possible, regardless of his age.

    If the child has been allowed to grow up to the age of nine or ten, ignorant of the story of life, I would tell him all the stories, beginning with the first story, telling them only a few days apart. Where parents are not prepared to do this, I would advise them to place a suitable book, presenting these stories in a clear, chaste and interesting way, in the hands of the child, saying, “Here is a very interesting little book telling you just what you will be interested in knowing and what I would like for you to understand.”

    The ideal way.—The ideal way would be to start with the child when he first inquires about his origin, telling him the first story about the plants. Promise to tell him other stories about the oysters, fish, insects, birds, animals and man as he grows older and can understand them. Where a child is naturally very inquisitive and insists on knowing more, I would not hold him off too long for the next story.

    How to introduce each new story.—I would introduce each new story by reviewing the story of the plants and flowers. There are at least three reasons for this. (1) You can go into all the details of reproduction in the flower without danger of awakening the sex consciousness of the child. (2) It saves going into the detail when you have come to the higher animals and man. The child’s mind usually comprehends more than we give it credit for. If he understands the details of reproduction in the flower, his innocent fancy will fill in the details when he hears the other stories. (3) If he has been so unfortunate as to fall in with bad company at any time and his mind has been tainted with their stories, there is no means you can use in ridding his mind of impurity, quite so effectively, as by telling him the story of life in the flower.

    Teaching these truths in the public schools.—The violation of the laws of sex is the chief cause of physical, mental and moral degeneracy. The degenerate classes are increasing at an appalling rate. Correct sex-instruction in childhood is the most important and effective step in the solution of this problem. There is a growing conviction among the students of sociology that sex-hygiene should be taught in the public schools. There are some teachers in all departments of school work, who, in morals at least, are not fitted for this delicate work. At present, an extremely few have the educational qualification for this delicate work. When teachers are required to take a course of training in these subjects, there will still be but few who are possessed of the natural talent for effectively and wisely presenting these subjects to children of the different grades.

    Already colleges and universities and even a few high schools have begun to teach sex hygiene in a limited scientific way. This work will first be introduced into the high school work and later, gradually be introduced into the lower grades. Definite instruction will not be given, for many years at least, and possibly never, to boys under eight, and girls under ten or eleven. If this statement is true, it will be seen that the schools will have left the first and most important part of this training to be done in the home. The teaching of morals in the public school can never be substituted for the teaching of morals in the home. The present great awakening on these subjects will shortly result in three-fourths of the parents teaching these truths in their homes. Since one-fourth of the children do not get any moral instruction in the home and they do not go to Sunday school or church, the public school is the only place where they can be given moral training for citizenship.

    How this can be done.—In my opinion, the safest and most effective method of dealing with these questions in the public schools, for the present at least, would be for the school boards in two or three counties to select and employ a gentleman and a lady lecturer, having natural gifts, moral and educational qualifications, whose duty it shall be to lecture to all the boys and girls; the male lecturer, lecturing to the boys and the lady lecturer, lecturing to the girls. All other teachers should be required to be sufficiently versed in these matters to enable them to solve any individual problems that may arise in their social relations to the pupils in school.

    Extract from EBook of Self Knowledge and Guide to Sex Instruction, by T. W. Shannon

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  • PRE-NATAL INFLUENCES

    PRE-NATAL INFLUENCES

    The term “Pre-Natal” of course means “before birth,” and Pre-Natal Influences are those influences exerted upon the child before its birth into the world. The students of Eugenics are vitally interested in the subject of Pre-Natal Influences, as they recognize that therein is to be found the secret of much which will work along the line of “better offspring,” and general race-betterment.

    Pre-Natal Influences (as the term is used in the present consideration of the subject) may be considered as manifesting in three phases, as follows:

    (1) The influence of the physical, mental, and moral “family characteristics” of the parents, transmitted to the child along the lines of heredity.

    (2) The influence of the acquired personal characteristics of the parents (particularly the acquired characteristics which are especially active at and just previous to the time of actual conception), transmitted to the child along the lines of heredity.

    (3) The influence of “maternal impressions” (after conception, and during the period of gestation or pregnancy) transmitted to the child physiologically and psychologically.

    I shall now ask you to proceed with me to a consideration of the various phases of Pre-Natal Influences coming under the above name three general classes, and the principal factors involved therein.

    Heredity in General.

    By “heredity” is meant “the tendency which there is in each animal or plant, in all essential characters, to resemble its parents”; or “the hereditary transmission of physical or psychical characteristics of parents to their offspring.”

    There is a great disagreement among the authorities as to how far the principle of heredity really extends, and the real causes of heredity are in dispute. In the present consideration we shall, of course, pass over the technical phases of the subject, and shall touch only upon the general features and principles involved.

    Shute, in his work entitled “Organic Evolution,” says: “That an offspring always inherits from its parents many of their characteristics is well known; that it always varies, more or less, from them, is also equally well known. Heredity and variation are twin forces that play upon every creature, holding it rigidly true to the parental type or compelling more or less divergence therefrom, according to the strength of the one or other power; so that every creature is the resultant of the activities of these two great parallel forces. Variation is co-extensive with heredity, and every living creature gives evidence of the existence of variations.

    “Mental heredity can be illustrated by studying the genealogies of such persons as Aristotle, Goethe, Darwin, Coleridge, Milton, etc. Probably the Bach family, of Germany, supply one of the best illustrations of the inheritance of intellectual character that we know of. The record of this family begins in 1550, lasting through eight generations to 1800. For about two centuries it gave to the world musicians and singers of high rank. The founder was Weit Bach, a baker of Presburg, who sought recreation from his routine work in song and music. For nearly two hundred years his descendants, who were very numerous in Franconia, Thuringia, and Saxony, retained a musical talent, being all church singers and organists. When the members of the family had become very numerous and widely separated from one another, they decided to meet at a stated place once a year. Often more than a hundred persons—men, women, and children—bearing the name of Bach were thus brought together. This family reunion continued until nearly the middle of the eighteenth century. In this family of musicians, twenty-nine became eminent.

    “Inheritance of moral character is well known. Heredity, in its relation to crime and pauperism, has been thoroughly investigated by Mr. Dugdale in his most instructive little work entitled “The Jukes.” In this work the descendants of one vicious and neglected girl are traced through a large number of generations. It reveals that a large proportion of the descendants of this woman became licentious, for, in the course of six generations, fifty-two percent of the children were illegitimate. It shows also that there were seven times more paupers among the women than among the average women of the state, and nine times more paupers among the male descendants than among the average men of the state. The inheritance of physical peculiarities is so obvious as to need no illustration. Among the ancients the Romans stereotyped its truth by the use of such expressions as ‘the labiones’ or thick-lipped; ‘the nasones,’ or big-nosed; ‘the capitones,’ or big-headed, and ‘the buccones,’ or swollen-cheeked, etc. In more recent times we read of the Austrian lip and the Bourbon nose.”

    But in all considerations of the subject of heredity, one must always remember that the inheritance of physical, mental, and moral characteristics is not alone from the immediate parents, but rather from many ancestors further removed in order and time. Back of each person there is a long line of paternal and maternal ancestors, extending back to the beginning of the race. And in that line there are influences for good and evil, awaiting favorable environment for awakening into new life unless restrained by the will of the individual.

    As Shute says: “There will come a time when the fertilized ovum will have a highly complex nucleus composed of many different ancestral groups of hereditary units. One often hears the expression that a child is a chip of the old block; but this is only a very partial truth, for the child is pre-eminently a composite chip of many old blocks.” And Luther Burbank has well said: “Heredity means much; but what is heredity? Not some hideous ancestral spectre, forever crossing the path of a human being. Heredity is simply the sum of all the environments of all past generations on the responsive ever-moving life-forces.”

    Transmission of Acquired Characteristics.

    One of the great disputes of biology is that concerning the question of whether or not parents may transmit to their offspring their personal “acquired characteristics” as well as those inherited from their line of ancestors. One side of the controversy points to the observed cases of children and grandchildren resembling each other, physically, mentally, and morally, in acquired characteristics; but the other side explains these facts as due to environment rather than to heredity.

    The best authorities seem to favor a middle-view, holding that acquired characteristics may be and are transmitted as “tendencies” in the offspring. Thus as each succeeding generation manifests the acquired tendency, it adds a cumulative force to the family heredity. At the same time they hold that “environment” is needed to “draw out” the inherited “tendency.” For instance, a child born with evil tendencies, and placed in an evil environment, will most likely manifest evil conduct. The same child, if placed in a good environment, will not have the evil tendencies “drawn out” by the environment, and will probably not manifest evil conduct. The same rule applies to the child drawn with good “tendencies.” In short, it is held that heredity and environment tend to balance each other—the “something within” is called out (or not called out) by the “something without.” The life of the individual is held to be a continuous action and reaction between heredity and environment, and both of these elements must be taken into consideration when we think of the subject.

    Shute says: “As influencing a man’s life and character, which is the strongest factor, heredity or environment?” In our opinion, as the result of long study and reading, where we have an average man of a sound mind in a sound body, there environment will be the strongest factor whether for good or evil—that is, in men in general, who have no organic defect, such as insanity or idiocy, and allied affections, the stronger force is environment; but in those having such defect, heredity is the controlling power, and we may add, the destroying power.

    The Eugenic Rule Regarding Heredity.

    It is one of the cardinal principles of Eugenics that those with a bad family history should not become parents. By this it is not meant that the manifestation of undesirable tendencies, physical, mental, and moral, on the part of certain individuals of a family necessarily constitutes a “bad family history.” On the contrary, many of the best families have, from time to time, individuals who manifest undesirable tendencies, and who are in general out of harmony with the general family standard. It is an old axiom that “there is a black sheep in every flock”; and the flock must be measured by its general standard, and not by its exceptional black sheep.

    A “bad family history” is one in which the family has clearly manifested certain undesirable physical, mental, and moral traits in a marked degree, and in a sufficientnumber of instances to establish a standard. Some families have a “bad family history” for inebriety; others for epilepsy; others for licentiousness; others for dishonesty—the history extending over several generations, and including a marked number of individuals in each generation. Individuals of such a family should refrain from bearing children; and if children be born to such the greatest care should be exercised by the parents in the matter of surrounding the child with the environment least calculated to “draw out” the undesirable characteristic. The child has a right to be well born, and to be protected from being brought into the world subjected to the handicap of a “bad family history.” If individuals cannot endow their children with a good family history, they should refrain from bearing children—such is the Eugenic advice on the subject.

    The same rule applies to the question of “acquired characteristics” of the parents—especially those acquired characteristics which are especially active at or just before the time of the contemplated conception. Though the family history of both husband and wife be ever so good, it is held that if one or both of the parents have acquired undesirable and transmissible characteristics, physical, mental, or moral, then the question of bringing children into the world should be carefully considered, and conscientiously decided, after competent authorities have been consulted concerning the case. The prospective child should always be given the benefit of the doubt in such cases. To bring children into the world merely to gratify personal pleasure or pride, regardless of the welfare of the child, is something utterly unworthy of an intelligent and moral human being.

    Fitness for Parenthood.

    In determining the “fitness” for parenthood, on the part of husband and wife, the mental, physical, and moral qualities should all be taken into consideration. Weak or abnormal mentality; chronic immorality or perverted moral sense; or diseased or abnormal physical conditions—these should always be regarded as bars to parenthood. To violate this principle is to deliberately violate the fundamental laws of Nature, as well as those principles which are accepted as representing the best thought and customs of the race. A mental, moral, or physical “pervert” or “defective” is manifestly an “unfit,” considered as a prospective parent. Parenthood on the part of such individuals is not only a crime against society, but always a base injustice perpetrated upon the offspring.

    A very interesting phase of the general subject now before us for consideration is that which touches upon the effect of those particular acquired characteristics which are especially active at the time, or just before the time of conception. The best authorities hold that the influences manifest and active in the prospective father and mother during the period immediately preceding conception will have a marked effect upon the character of the child. The following quotations from authorities on the subject will serve to illustrate this idea.

    Riddell says: “The transient physical, mental and moral conditions of the parents, prior to the initial of life, at the time of inception, do affect offspring.” Dr. Cowan says: “Through the rightly directed wills of the mother and father, preceding and during ante-natal life, the child’s form of body, character of mind, and purity of soul are formed and established. That in its plastic shape, during ante-natal life, like clay in the hand of the potter, it can be molded into absolutely any form of body and soul the parents may knowingly desire.” Newton says: “Numerous facts indicate that offspring may be affected and their tendencies shaped by a great variety of influences, among which moods and influences more or less permanent may be included.”

    Riddell says: “The influence of environmental conditions and pre-natal training are ever evident. Colts from dams that have been under regular training are faster than those from the same mother foaled before she had been trained. The puppies of the trained shepherd dog learn much more rapidly than do those from the untrained animal. No sportsman would think of paying a high price for a puppy, the mother of which was stupid and untrained. The same law applies, only with greater effect, to the human family.” Greer says: “No married couple will desire, design and love a babe into existence without the first requisite—good physical health.” Grant Allen says: “To prepare ourselves for the duties of maternity and paternity by making ourselves as vigorous and healthful as we can be, is a duty we owe to children unborn.” Holbrook says: “It is essential, therefore, that if children are to be well-born, the parents should be careful that at the moment of procreation they are fitted for the performance of so serious an act.” Another authority says: “Generation should be preceded by regeneration.”

    Cowan says: “In the conception of a new life, the mass of mankind observes no law unless it be the law of chance. Out of the licentious or incontinent actions of a husband’s nature, conception after a time is discovered to take place. No preparation of body, mind, or soul is made by either parent. Not more than one child in perhaps ten thousand is brought into the world with the consent and loving desire of its parents. The other nine thousand, nine hundred, and ninety nine children are endowed with the accumulated sins of the parents. Is it any wonder that there is so much sin, sickness, drunkenness, suffering, licentiousness, murder, suicide, and prematuredeath, and so little of purity, chastity, success, goodness, happiness and long life in the world?”

    Preparation for Parenthood.

    The ancient Greeks attached great importance to the mental, moral and physical condition of the parents at the moment of conception, and for a period preceding the same. The Investigations of modern scientists have tended to corroborate the facts upon which the ancient theories were based. Modern science teaches that the life-cells of each parent are impressed with the condition of the respective parents, and retain this impression until they meet and finally coalesce and combine, the combined cell then receiving the result of the original impressions.

    The best authorities on the subject claim that a reasonable time of self-restraint and continence should be observed by the prospective parents before the conception of the child. This contention is borne out by the experience of the breeders of fine horses and cattle, who have discovered that the best offspring are produced when the animals have been restrained from sexual intercourse for a reasonable time; this precaution being particularly observed in the case of the male parent animal. Writers on the subject cite a number of instances to prove that this law maintains in human as well is in animal life. It is claimed that Sir Isaac Newton was conceived after a period of over a year of total sexual abstinence on the part of his parents. Many other celebrated men are said to have been conceived after an absence from home on the part of the father, or a temporary absence from home on the part of the mother. Many physicians are able to cite many similar cases observed in the course of their own experience.

    The prospective parents should endeavor to bring themselves up to a high degree of physical health and well-being. The blood of the mother should be enriched byproper nutrition, and the organs of the body should be brought to a state of normal functioning along the lines of digestion, assimilation, and elimination.

    The minds of both parents should be exercised by reading the right kind of books, and by paying attention to natural objects of interest. A little change of scene will tend to awaken the powers of observation and attention. Riddell says: “If the prospective parents will habitually exercise the reasoning faculties and inventive powers, usually the offspring will have a fair degree of inventive talent and originality, even where these qualities are originally deficient in the parents. When there is a considerable natural talent or where there are latent inventive powers, constant training on the part of the parents will usually give the offspring exceptional powers in this direction.”

    The prospective parents should also develop and exercise their moral faculties in the period preceding conception. This course will tend to reproduce the same quality in the child. The reverse of this, alas, is also true. A case is cited of a man who procreated a child while plotting a nefarious crime; and the child in after life manifested a tendency toward theft, roguery and rascality, even at a very early age. The lack of moral fibre so often noticed in the sons of rich men who have attained their success through questionable methods is perhaps as much attributable to these pre-conceptual influences as to the “spoiling” environment of the child after birth.

    In the period of physical, mental, and moral preparation for parenthood the leading thought of both parents should be: “Do we wish our child to be like this?” This thought, if carried as an ideal, will act both in the direction of self-restraint and self-development.

    The actual time of the conception of the new life should be carefully chosen, so that it may occur under the best circumstances and conditions. The suggestions embodied in the preceding paragraphs should have been carefully observed; and the time chosen should be one in which a peaceful and happy state of mind is possessed by both parents. The ovum of the woman is believed to have its greatest vitality about the time of the close of each menstrual period, and many good authorities hold that this is not only the natural period for sexual intercourse, but is also the exact period in which the life-forces in the ovum are strongest; and that, consequently, the child conceived at this period is likely to be stronger and more vigorous than the one conceived at a later time between the menstrual periods.

    Dr. Stall says: “Medical authorities attach great importance to the mental condition at the moment of conjunction and conception. It is quite universally believed that this is a moment of unparalleled importance to the welfare of the future being. It is an awful crime to beget life carelessly, and when in improper and unworthy mental states. Some people seem to think that the matter of begetting a child, like the matter of selecting a wife, should be left wholly to blind chance. Neither of these two important events can be too much safeguarded by wise and thoughtful consideration. If conception is permitted to take place when either one or both of the parents are in bad health; if the wife is an unwilling mother, and the embryo is developed by her while her whole nature rebels against the admission into the family of a child who is not wanted, the children begotten and born under such circumstances can never be other than sickly, nervous and fretful during their entire childhood, and cross and uncompanionable throughout their whole lives.

    “Much of the differences which exist between children of the same parents may be easily attributed to the different bodily and mental conditions of the parents at theperiod of conjunction, the changed physical, intellectual and emotional states of the parents at the different periods of conception producing the corresponding differences in their offspring. The results of purposed and prepared parenthood are so great and so desirable that a husband and wife should consider these matters carefully, making preparations, and approach the period when they would beget offspring and bring immortal beings into the world with the greatest thoughtfulness, consideration, and also with prayer.”

    Dr. Hufeland says: “In my opinion, it is of the utmost importance that the moment of conception should be confined to a period when the sensation of collected powers, ardent passion, and a mind cheerful and free from care, invite to it on both sides.” Riddell says: “The law of initial impressions is well established. It has been understood and applied by stock-raisers for centuries. Experiments prove that the qualities most highly excited in animals prior to their union are most fully transmitted. The speed of horses and the acquired characters of the dog have been improved by the applications of the law. History and classic literature contain many references that recognize its importance, like Shakespeare’s ‘Come on, ye cowards; ye were got in fear.’ Ancient laws forbade union while parents were intoxicated, because such unions resulted in the production of drunkards and monstrosities. The asylums for the feeble-minded contain hundreds of unfortunate ones that are the product of such unions. The law of initial impressions, like the other laws of heredity, is traced most easily where morbid conditions are transmitted; but fortunately it is quite as potential in the production of desirable qualities. Unusual excitement to the social, intellectual or religious powers on the parents just prior to the inception of the new life frequently produce in the child corresponding tendencies.”

    Dr. Stockham says: “Many a drunkard owes his lifelong appetite for alcohol to the fact that the inception of his life could be traced to a night of dissipation on the part of his father.” Fleming says: “Not only do drunkards transmit to their descendants tendency toward insanity and crime, but even habitually sober parents who at the moment of conception are in a temporary state of drunkenness beget children who are epileptic or paralytic, idiotic or insane, very often microcephalic, or with remarkable weakness of mind, which is transformed at the first favorable occasion into insanity.”

    The time of conception should undoubtedly be chosen to correspond to a time in which the sex-powers of both parents are at their maximum. This is arrived at by a reasonable period of previous continence and abstinence from sexual relations between the married couple, and by an observance of the natural law which renders the woman most strong sexually at the close of the menstrual period. The husband, as well as the wife, is most strong sexually at this period, as under normal conditions his sex-power is most actively called forth by that of the woman at this period. At this period the wave of sex-power is at its height, and this is the best time for the beginning of the new life. As Riddell says: “Strong, vigorous, chaste sexuality at the time of conception is of supreme importance; it is indispensable to good results. No number of other conditions or factors can be so favorable as to justify the creation of a new life when the vitality of either parent is low. Parents transmit their physical constitution, intellect and morals only to the extent of the sex-power at the time of inception.”

    It is needless to say that there should exist between the prospective parents a strong bond of affection and attraction. By an irony of civilized life, the term “love child” is applied only to the offspring of unmarried lovers—men and women whose affection or passion have run away with their judgment, and who have “loved not wisely, but too well.” Some of the world’s greatest men and women have been “love children” of this kind; and in such cases it is probably true that their physical and mental strength has been the result of the ardent feeling animating the parents at the moment of conception. Such children seldom result from the “tired bed” or worn-out passion, love killed by sexual excesses, indifference on the part of one of the participants of the union, “duty” intercourse without affection or passion, or forced sexual relations. Every child should be a “love child” in the true sense of the term. The term should be one of respect, not of reproach. There should be no children but “love children.” The fruit of the perfect mating and marriage should be the perfect “love child”—and it would always be so if husbands and wives would but observe the laws of the normal, natural, sex-life.

    And, last of all—and perhaps more important than all—is the fact that at the moment of conception the minds and hearts of both of the prospective parents should be united in a strong love and desire for the hoped-for child. At that moment their best natures should blend into each other, and their love for each other fuse into a new love—the love of the child of the union. Under such circumstances, in such act the Cosmic Forces flow unhindered through the beings of the parents, and the new life is begun under the approving smile of Nature.

    Maternal Impressions.

    One of the oldest and most firmly-rooted beliefs of the race is that which holds that the pregnant mother may, and often does, consciously or unconsciously, impress upon her unborn child certain mental, moral, or physical traits. The majority of persons accept this idea as self-evident, and are able to cite cases within their own personal experience which go to prove the correctness of the popular belief. But certain modern authorities have sought to tear down this belief, and to discredit the general idea. Let us briefly consider both sides of this question.

    On the side of the generally accepted belief, Riddell says: “The more I study the influence of maternal impressions upon the life, mentality and character of men, the more I am led to believe that the education and moral training that a child receives before it sees the light of day are the most influential, and, therefore, the most important part of its education.” Newton says: “A mother may, during the period of gestation, exercise some influence, by her own voluntary mental and physical action, either unwittingly or purposely, in determining the traits and tendencies of her offspring. This is now a common belief among intelligent people. Every observant teacher could doubtless bear witness to the same general facts, and it would be easy to fill a volume with testimonials from various sources illustrative and confirmatory of the law under discussion. Such facts establish beyond question the conviction that the mother has it largely in her power to confer on her child such a tendency of mind and conformation of brain as shall not only facilitate the acquisition of knowledge in any specific direction, but make it certain that such knowledge will be sought and acquired.”

    Dr. Fordyce Baker says: “The weight of authority must be conceded to be in favor of the idea that maternal impressions may effect the growth, form and character of a forming child.” Dr. Rokitansky says: “The question whether mental emotions do influence the development of the child must be answered ‘Yes!’” Dr. Brittain says: “The singular effects produced on the unborn child by the sudden mental emotions of the mother are remarkable examples of a kind of electrotyping on the sensitive surface of living forms. It is doubtless true that the mind’s action in such cases may increase or diminish the molecular deposits in the several portions of the system. The precise place which each separate particle assumes may be determined by the influence of thought or feeling. If, for example, there exists in the mother any unusual tendency of the vital forces to the brain at the critical period, there will be a similar cerebral development and activity in the offspring.”

    Newton says: “The human embryo is formed and developed in all its parts, even to the minutest detail, by and through the action of the vital, mental, and spiritual forces of the mother, which forces act in and through the corresponding portions of her own organism. And while this process may go on unconsciously, or without the mother’s voluntary participation or direction, yet she may consciously and purposely so direct her activities as, with a good degree of certainty, to accomplish specifically desired ends in determining the traits and qualities of her offspring.” Professor Bayer says: “The influence of the mind of a prospective mother upon her child, before its birth, is of tremendous importance to its active existence as a member of society, from the fact that it lies in the mother’s power to shape its mentality, that it may be a power for good or for evil.”

    The views of that school of thought which is opposed to this old and generally accepted idea of material impressions, are ably presented by Dr. Saleeby, as follows: “Consider the case. The baby is at this time already a baby, though rather small and uncanny, floating in a fluid of its own manufacture. Its sole connection with the mother is by means of its umbilical cord—that is to say, blood-vessels, arterial and venous. There is no nervous connection whatever; absolutely nothing but the blood-stream, carried along a system of tubes. This blood is the child’s blood, which it sends forth from itself along the umbillical cord to a special organ, the placenta or afterbirth, half made by itself and half made by the mother, in which the child’s blood travels in thin vessels so close to the mother’s blood that their contents can be interchanged. Yet the two streams never mix. The child’s blood, having disposed of its carbonic acid and waste products to the mother’s blood, and having received therefrom oxygen and food, returns so laden to the child. Pray how is the mother’s reading of history to make the child a historian? We see now how the learning of geometry on the part of the mother before its birth will not set her baby upon that royal road to geometry of which Euclid rightly denied the existence—any more than after its birth. Such a thing does not happen—unless we are to call in Telepathy.”

    All this argument may seem quite convincing—at first. But when we begin to consider the matter carefully, we begin to perceive the weak places in the argument as above presented. In the first place, it is known that emotions powerfully affect the condition, quality, and “life” of the blood. We know that cheerful emotions impart certain uplifting qualities to the blood, while depressing emotions correspondingly react upon it. Fear, worry, fright, jealousy, etc., are actual poisons to the blood, and have brought on diseased conditions to the persons manifesting these emotions. Moreover, it is known that impaired quality of the blood reacts upon the brain. Is it so unreasonable, then, to hold that emotional states in the mother may react upon the mental and physical condition of the unborn child, through the blood? Does not something similar occur in the case of the babe, after its birth, when it is affected by the conditions of its mother’s milk brought on by her depressing emotions, fright, etc.? This would seem to explain at least the matter of emotional reactions between mother and unborn babe.

    But the case is not closed with the presentation of the evidence of physiology, important though that may be. There is an entirely different field of science to be drawn upon before the case is closed. The orthodox physiologist makes the mistake of supposing that all mental impulses and transmission of psychic energy require the service of nerves as channels of transmission. While such channels are usually required, we have good reasons for believing that there are exceptions to the rule. There have been found tiny creatures, possessing life and energy, performing the functions of nourishment, elimination, and even of reproduction—and yet without a nervous system. In one well-known instance, that of the moneron, we find not only an absence of a nervous system but also the lack of organs of any kind—and yet the creature lives, acts, moves, eats, thinks, and reproduces itself.

    Then, again, consider the moving cells of the blood, unconnected with the brain, unattached to the nervous system, and yet rushing to the work of repairing a wound, or of repelling an intruding germ, in obedience to a mental command from the controlling subconscious mental regions of the living creature. How does the mental impulse reach these cells and others of similar nature in the system? If we were not so sure of the facts, might we not feel inclined to say with Dr. Saleeby, in the above quoted sentence: “Such a thing does not happen—unless we are to call in telepathy.”

    Moreover, examining Dr. Saleeby’s statement, we see mention made of the placenta at being “half made by the embryo, and half made by the mother.” How does this co-operation and co-ordination of effort and subconscious will arise? How does the subconscious mentality of the embryo know that the subconscious mentality of the mother is making its half of the placenta, or vice versa? Again, how is the subconscious mentality of the mother affected by the presence and development of the child—how do her mammary glands respond to the growth and development of the child? In short, how is the manifest co-operation and co-ordination between the “nature” of the mother and the “nature” of the child possible, unless there exists some psychical, as well as some physical, relation between the two beings.

    The person conscientiously considering this subject must include in his thought the discoveries of modern psychology concerning what is known as the “subconscious mind,” which controls the unconscious and instinctive functions of the physical body, and also receives impressions and suggestions from the surface consciousness of its owner. This factor being admitted to our thought on the subject, we may find it possible to accept the idea of material impressions from mother to child operating from the subconscious mind of the mother to that of the child. In other words, that there is a subconscious mental connection, as well as the physical connection, between the mother and her unborn child.

    Many careful thinkers (and observers) find it just as easy to accept the fact of this strange “sympathetic co-ordination” between a mother and her unborn child as it is to accept the very frequent “sympathetic sickness” of the husband during the pregnancy of his wife—or of the “sympathetic labor pains” so often experienced by the husband during the confinement of his wife. Both of the latter two cases occur too often to permit the phenomenon to be denied off hand by those who would set aside all facts not agreeing with their particular personal theories. There is no nervous system connecting husband and wife, and of such cases the critic like Dr. Saleeby might say: “Such a thing does not happen—unless we call in telepathy!” The fact remains that many things actually happen which according to the orthodox physiological theories “cannot happen.” But they DO happen, nevertheless, whether we call it “telepathy” or merely label it “certain facts, the exact causes of which Science in the present state of its knowledge (or ignorance) cannot definitely determine.” One irrefutable fact outweighs a ton of mere general denials of possibility.

    It is recorded that the mother of Charles Kingsley believed in maternal impressions, and during her period of pregnancy exercised her imagination and emotions in the direction of wishing, and imagining, that the coming child should have the same love of Devonshire scenery that so delighted her. The result proved her theory, for though Kingsley never saw Devonshire until he was a man of thirty years of age, every Devonshire scene had a mysterious charm for him throughout his entire life. It is said that Robert Burns was so strongly impressed parentally by the old Scotch songs and ballads that his mother sung during her pregnancy, that his whole nature longed to express itself in like measure and substance. He always believed that his poetic spirit was kindled by this tendency on the part of his mother during the period preceding his birth.

    The mother of Napoleon Bonaparte during several months of her pregnancy, accompanied her husband during his military campaigns in Corsica, and during the entire term she lived in an atmosphere of battles, military strategy, and troops. When the boy was very young he manifested an unusual interest in war and conquest, and his whole mind had the military bent, although his brothers were in no wise remarkable in this direction. The artist, Flaxman, stated that his mother had related to him how for several months prior to his birth she had spent many hours each day studying drawings and engravings, and endeavoring to visualize by memory the beautiful figures of the human body drawn by the masters. The result was that from early childhood Flaxman manifested an intense delight in drawing; and in after life his drawings were regarded as masterpieces. He, and his mother, always attributed his talent to the parental impressions above mentioned.

    “Buffalo Bill” was believed to owe his characteristics to the mental states of his mother, the family living in Missouri during the days of frontier fights and disturbances, the mother being called upon several times to exercise resourceful courage and fortitude. A well-known worker along the lines of liberal Christianity is said to have attributed his tendencies in that direction to the prayers of his mother, during her pregnancy, that the child might be true to the teachings of the Christ, and should be a laborer in the cause of human brotherhood. This man, relating the fact, said: “I may have been converted before I was born.” A well-known writer along the lines of moral philosophy is believed by friends to owe his talent to the earnest thoughts and hopes of his mother during pregnancy—she is said to have pictured the child as a son destined to become a great moral philosopher, her mind being so firmly fixed on this fact that she felt it was already an assured fact.

    The Greeks were wont to surround the pregnant women with beautiful statuary, and it is recorded that in many cases the children afterward born closely resembled these works of art and beauty. It is claimed that many Italian women closely resemble the face shown in Raphael’s “Madonna,” copies of this celebrated picture being quite common in Italian households. Frances Willard, the temperance worker, is said to have very closely resembled a young woman of whom her mother was very fond. Many family resemblances are believed to have arisen in this way, rather than by heredity. Zerah Colburn, the mathematical prodigy whose feats astounded the scientific world in the early part of the last century, is said to have derived his wonderful faculty from maternal impressions of this kind; his mother is said to have occupied much of her time during her pregnancy in studying arithmetic and working problems, the study being quite new to her and proving very interesting.

    Cases similar to those above quoted might be duplicated almost indefinitely. The story is practically the same in each and every case. The principle involved is always that the pregnant mother took a decided interest in certain subjects, studies, and work, and that the child when born manifested at an early age similar tastes and inclinations. But far more important to the average prospective parent is the fact that many authorities positively claim that any pregnant mother may consciously and deliberately influence and shape the character, physical, mental, and moral of her unborn child.

    Newton well says, on this subject: “In the cases usually given to the public bearing on this topic, the moulding power appears to have been exercised merely by accident or chance; that is, without any intelligent purpose on the part of mothers to produce the results. Can there be any doubt that similar means, if purposely and wisely adopted, and applied with the greater care and precision which enlightened intention secure, would produce under the same law even more perfect results. Is it not altogether probable that an intentional direction of the vital or mental forces to any particular portion of the brain will cause a development and activity in the corresponding portion of the brain of the offspring? There seems to be no reasonable ground on which these propositions can be denied. The brain is made up of a congeries of organs which are the organs of distinct faculties of the mind or soul. It follows, then, that if the mother during gestation maintains a special activity of any one brain organ, or group of organs, in her brain, she thereby causes more development of the corresponding organ or group in the brain of the fetus. She thus determines a tendency in the child to special activity of the faculties, of which such organs are the instruments. It is plain, furthermore, that if any one organ or faculty may thus be cultivated before birth, and its activity enhanced for life, so may any other—and so may all. It would seem, then, clearly within the bounds of possibility that a mother, by pursuing a systematic and comprehensive method, may give a well-rounded and harmoniously developed organism to her child—notwithstanding her own defects, which, under the unguided operation of hereditary law, are likely to be repeated in her offspring. Or it is within her power to impart a leading tendency in any specific direction that she may deem desirable, for a life of the highest usefulness. In this way ancestral defects and undesirable hereditary traits, of whatever nature or however strong, may be overcome, or in a good degree counterbalanced by giving greater activity to counteracting tendencies; and, in this way, too, it would appear the coveted gifts of genius may be conferred. In other words, it would seem to be within the mother’s power, by the voluntary and intelligent direction of her own forces, in orderly and systematic methods, both to mold the physical form to lines of beauty, and shape the mental, moral, and spiritual features of her child to an extent to which no limit can be assigned.”

    I think that in the pages of this particular part of the book the prospective parent may find hints and general directions toward a clearly defined ideal, which is carefully studied, and as carefully put into practice will produce results far beyond the dreams of the average man and woman. The hope is a magnificent one, and the best testimony is in favor of the possibility of its actual realization.

    PRIVATE Sex Advice to Women By R. B. Armitage, M. D.

    For Young Wives and those who Expect to be Married.

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  • Will the MCO be extended? You’ll get the answer today

    Will the MCO be extended? You’ll get the answer today

    Will the MCO be extended? You’ll get the answer today 1

    KUALA LUMPUR: The question that is on everyone’s mind – whether the Movement Control Order (MCO) which ends on April 14 is extended – will be answered today.

    According to a statement by Health Director-General Datuk Dr Noor Hisham Abdullah in a press conference yesterday, Prime Minister Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin is expected to make an announcement today on further measures to curb the spread of the Covid-19 outbreak.

    He is also expected to make the much-awaited announcement on the status of the MCO which has been enforced since March 18.

    The first phase of the MCO which was introduced to break the chain of Covid-19 infections was from March 18 to 31, followed by the second phase from April 1 to 14.

    As of yesterday, the situation has been encouraging, with 121 patients cured, exceeding the number of 109 recorded positive cases which brings the total of positive cases to 4,228, with 67 deaths.

    Meanwhile, as of yesterday, the compliance rate of the MCO was 97%, and the Royal Malaysia Police has issued 95 compound notices of RM1,000 each to the errant individuals.

    Also, there are currently 24 red zone areas in the country which are the places where the number of Covid-19 positive cases exceeded 41.

    To date, the locations where the Enhanced Movement Control Order (EMCO) has been enforced are Simpang Renggam (Johor), Hulu Langat (Selangor), and three buildings in Kuala Lumpur, namely Menara City One, and the Selangor Mansion and Malayan Mansion buildings.

    Simpang Renggam was the first location where the EMCO was enforced on March 27 after 61 residents were found to be positive for Covid-19, and the order has now been extended to April 14.

    Up till yesterday (April 9), three states have recorded the highest number of positive Covid-19 cases, namely Selangor (1,118), Kuala Lumpur (699) and Johor (503).

    The responsibility now lies with the public to comply with the MCO in order to break the chain of Covid-19 infections. – Bernama

    Will the MCO be extended? You’ll get the answer today
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    https://www.thesundaily.my/local/will-the-mco-be-extended-you-ll-get-the-answer-today-IF2241129

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