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Tag: Marriages

  • Affairs: How to Heal After an Affair

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    Affairs can destroy a relationship if you do not know the steps to take to heal from an affair.

    Here are some of the specific steps necessary for healing.

    Avoid overreacting. Statements like “The marriage is over” do not have to be true. Many marriages survive an affair. Avoid a vengeance affair. Acknowledge hurt, betrayal, anger, distrust, and homicidal urges. Sometimes a temporary separation will allow for a cooling-down period.

    Honest discussion about what happened and why is important. The why is more important than the what. Be careful about asking for all the gory details. It is human nature to want to know everything, but each revealed incident creates an image in your mind, which becomes difficult to forgive and let go. This process keeps marriage therapists very busy. The more gory details you know, the more images in your head, the longer it takes to heal.

    Each person has two tasks. The person who had the affair has to be squeaky clean and scrupulously honest. The spouse who didn’t have the affair has to forgive and let go.

    Some people hold the false belief that if they forgive, friends and family will see them as weak. Forgiving, letting go of the pain, and moving on after the deep wound of an affair requires great inner strength. As far as we know, only God can forgive and forget. We humans are cursed with memory and so the healing process requires forgiving and letting go of the hurt. Letting go demands personal discipline and is much more difficult if you have a vengeful, unforgiving personality.

    Following these guidelines will go a long way to help you to heal your relationships after an affair.

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    Source by Shuford Davis

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  • Prophetic Declaration to Overcome Storms of Life in Your Marriage: Powerful Life Changing Prayers

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    If you are faced with problems in your marriage and business, it is only by divine intervention that you will overcome such problems.

    Bible Verses and Prayers to Encourage You As You Face The Battle of Life

    Psalm 23: 1-6 (KJV) "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

    Prayers to Encourage You As You Face The Battle of Life

    – Lord Eliminate the Spirit of always wanting to give up my Life in the Name of Jesus.

    – Give me a fresh breeze of release to lighten my load in Jesus Name.

    – Send the right people in my life to be a source of love, guidance and new opportunities.

    – Teach me your way and your will in Jesus Name

    – Speak to me Lord in a way that I would understand and obey in Jesus Name.

    – If nobody else in the whole world seems to care or believe in me, let me believe in myself.

    – I know there will be times when I doubt my own ability, I will be discouraged, on the verge of despair.

    – Don't let me give up, hang on to me. Fan the fires of my faith so that I will try even harder.

    – Give me even more faith in myself in Jesus Name.

    – I come boldly before your throne of grace.

    – Your word says that you give strength to the weary, so I ask that you would strengthen me Lord, for I am weary.

    – Bless me Lord with your presence, that my heart might be encouraged.

    – Help me remember your faithfulness and your love that I might stand in faith against the issues that face me.

    Prophetic Declaration over your marriage

    Bible says that the ear of the lord is not deaf nor his hand short that he does not hear us, but our iniquities have separated us from our God (paraphrased) Isaiah 59: 1. We therefore must first bring repentance over our past participation by thoughts words or deed our iniquities which would cause the Lord not to hear us.

    Prayer Points

    – I repent over every sin and wickedness in my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – I turn way from everything in my life that gives Satan a foothold and legality in my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – I repent of every ungodly confession I have made over my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – I repent of every ungodly confession that is standing as a witness and testimony before you in the name of Jesus.

    – Father have mercy upon me in the name of Jesus.

    – Forgive me for wrong confessions, utterances, declarations, thoughts, actions, I have done which are speaking against me, before you in the name of Jesus.

    – I decree and declare that in my marriage shall receive and release the strength, honor, glory that marriage brings in Jesus name.

    – I decree and declare that in my marriage shall reflect the glory of God in Jesus name.

    – I decree and declare that two shall put to flight Ten thousand, that is my portion in my marriage in Jesus name.

    – I decree and declare that wicked patterns and cycles of marriages in my bloodline broken in the name of Jesus and by the voice of the blood of the lamb.

    – Every handwriting of wicked codes speaking against my marriage in be bloated out by the blood of Jesus.

    – I station Angels of defense along my marriage in Jesus name

    – Blood of Jesus surround my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – I station the word of the Lord as a wall around my marriage, it shall not be like a city with no walls in Jesus name.

    – I decree and declare that I will have prophetic utterances over my marriage in Jesus name.

    – Blood of Jesus step into the foundation of my marriage and align it to the word of God in the name of Jesus

    – Blood of Jesus speak healing into my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus speak restoration into my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus speak love into my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus speak joy into my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus speak peace to my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus speak harmony into my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus speak unity into my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus speak wisdom into my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus speak understanding into my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus speak knowledge into my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus speak fruitfulness into my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – I raise the banner and the standard of Christ and declare the Lordship of Jesus over my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – I decree and declare that my marriage shall bear good fruits in Jesus name.

    – Every Spirit of barrenness is broken, and destroyed by the power of the blood of Jesus in my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Every pain In my marriage, balm of Gilead cleanse it, heal it Lord, in the name of Jesus.

    – Every bitterness In my marriage, balm of Gilead cleanse it, heal it Lord, in the name of Jesus.

    – Every anger In my marriage, balm of Gilead cleanse it, heal it Lord, in the name of Jesus.

    – Every unforgiveness In my marriage, balm of Gilead cleanse it, heal it Lord, in the name of Jesus.

    – Every sorrow In my marriage, balm of Gilead cleanse it, heal it Lord, in the name of Jesus.

    – I decree and declare that the scent of my marriage shall be a pleasing aroma in your sight Lord and in the body of Christ in the name of Jesus.

    – I decree and declare that springs of life from your fountain will come forth and water every dry area in my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Resurrection power of God rest upon every dead area in my marriage and resurrect it in Jesus name.

    – I decree and declare the Angel in charge of marriages shall walk with me in my marriage.

    – I release every goodness my marriage is to bring to my life in Jesus name.

    – let every stranger in my marriage be evicted in the name of Jesus.

    – Let the angel of the Lord pursue to destruction every stranger in my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – Every ungodly voice over my marriage be silenced by the voice of the blood of Jesus.

    – Blood of Jesus blot out every wicked ordinance that is standing as a testimony against my marriage in the courtrooms of heaven in the name of Jesus

    – I station the Angel in charge of marriages at the gate of my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – I stand in agreement with what the Angel in charge of marriages is confessing before the courts of heaven concerning my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – I stand in agreement with what the blood of Jesus is speaking before the courtrooms of heaven concerning my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – I stand in agreement with what Jesus the mediator is speaking before the courtrooms of heaven concerning my marriage.

    – Father I pray let my offerings and tithes stand as a testimony and a witness on behalf of my marriage in the courtrooms of heaven.

    – Father I pray arise and become a witness for me against every adulterer in my marriage in the name of Jesus.

    – I decree and declare that the bars of my marriage gates will be strengthened in the name of Jesus

    – I declare my marriage shall be restful, joyous, happy, full of the glory of God.

    – I station these words at the gates of my marriage in Jesus name.

    – I put the seal of the blood of Jesus on my marriage in the name of Jesus.

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    Source by Dr Olusola A Coker Ed.D

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  • A Christian Love That Goes Beyond Words in Marriage

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    If there is anything that stands at the center of Christianity, it is a deep love expressed to humanity by God himself, which is in turn expressed to others by each of us who have chosen to receive that love. And yet, when it comes to many Christian marriages, this necessary expression of love is often replaced by emotional distancing and painful conflict, which leads many of us to ask, “Where’s the breakdown?”

    CRACKS IN THE MARRIAGE FOUNDATION

    The more I work with Christian couples it becomes apparent that this breakdown is tied to cracks in their marital and spiritual foundations. On the marital front, encouragement is replaced by criticism, validation is replaced by defensiveness, and listening is replaced by the need to express one’s own frustrations. Spiritually, it is often the case that these couples have neglected a pursuit of God in their daily lives, and have defaulted to simply doing things their own way relationally. Yet, they also recognize how relevant that pursuit is to them being able to love one another in the manner they desire.

    A MARITAL DEFINITION OF LOVE

    It is hard to overstate how important love is to a married couple having a strong foundation that lasts a lifetime and facilitates an unbreakable sense of intimacy and connection. Yet, how is the type of love we’re discussing defined? Here’s a definition I will often apply when counseling married couples:

    Love is choosing to be other-centered for the benefit of your spouse, so that what is important to them becomes important to you. It is unselfish and without pride, and aims to offer them the forgiveness and grace which you did not deserve, but were given anyway by God in spite of your sin.

    I realize you may be familiar with other definitions of love, however I believe this definition helps bring married couples to the point of being able to see that their Christian faith is more than a simple tradition. It is a lifestyle of discipleship in which commands such as “love your neighbor as yourself” become formative principles calling each of us to rely on the Lord to empower and guide us as we seek to cherish our significant other.

    RECLAIMING OUR PURSUIT OF THE LORD

    I’m absolutely confident that couples who pursue the Lord in their daily lives, and consistently educate themselves by studying His Word so that they can faithfully follow its instruction and wisdom, will utterly reap the benefits in their marriage. The reason is that we ultimately live out what we believe and what we focus on. Therefore, let us focus on these things so that we can experience a Christian love that goes beyond words in our marriages.

    A MARRIAGE THAT STANDS FIRM

    Let me end by encouraging you to never neglect the freedom that we have to pursue God will all our hearts, and to actually know him and his great love, so that your marriage will stand as a clear reflection of the powerful work the Lord is doing within you.

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    Source by Eric Gomez

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  • 5 Major Reasons Why Marriages Break

    5 Major Reasons Why Marriages Break

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    Love: Yes, I mean love. I know you are wondering how love could cause a break up. It is believed that love is the basis of marriage. It is love that brings about marriage. You only marry once you realize that you love somebody else just as yourself. You can not marry somebody you hate. Unless is for some other reasons. When the sweet love you once shared turn into bitter, marriage is set to break. How will one live with a person that she / he resents so much. It is impossible, and that is why, most couples choose to separate and go their on ways. Every human being want to be loved. therefore, where there is no love, couples never stay together for long.

    In-laws: What part does in-laws play in your marriage? Well, there is no marriage without in-laws. When couples get married, they automatically get in-laws. Some of these in-laws are the best and some are the worst. One could wonder whether they ever wanted their son / daughter to marry. They interfere with their children's / brother's / sister's marriage a lot. Who is to blame in this case? In most cases, it is the in-laws from the husband's side that bring all these problems. In such cases the blame goes to the man. He should stand up for his wife at all time even if she is wrong. He should not be the one inciting his people against the wife. Am sorry to say this but some husbands have the audacity to bad mouth their wives to their families. Tell me, won't your in-laws hate you when they hear such bad things coming from your own husband? If you allow your family interfere so much in your marriage, then know that with time, your wife will get tired and call it a quit!

    Infidelity: This is the worst of them all. No one desires to be cheated on by the partner.in fact, if discovered by the other party, there is no forgiveness. When a man discovers that his wife is cheating on him, he can do the worst to the man involved with his wife. Women are lenient. On their part, they can forgive their husbands but will never ever love them again. Some women end up choosing to leave the man and even demand for divorce.

    Comparisons: This is a very painful reason for break ups. when a spouse chooses to constantly compare his / her spouse to another, it really hurt much. Even though the one doing it, could be doing it so unknowingly. In some cases, the spouse who does this comparisons, is aware of it and usually do it purposefully to hurt the spouse. The targeted spouse may in some cases, try to much up to the party being compared to and if the sacrifice is not noticed, this may lead to a break up.

    Physical, emotional and mental abuse: This is one of the major causes for marriage break ups. One couple could be abusive to the other partner. This could be physical / emotional torture. An abusive spouse is worse than a murderer. The reason is: they usually use intimidation and manipulation to keep the abused partner under control at all time. They are sadist! They never want to see their spouses happy! They beat them up, call them all sort of abusive names and even cause the other partner feel useless and unworthy. With such, the marriage will definitely break up especially when the abused get tired of constantly being abused.

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    Source by Leah Simiyu Mbatha

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