Tag: Making

  • Distinguishing Drug Abuse From Drug Addiction

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    Though “drug abuse” and “drug addiction” are often used interchangeably, in reality the terms refer to two distinct behavior patterns. An individual can abuse or misuse drugs without being inevitably addicted to them. Abuse or misuse involves the use of drugs defying the culturally acceptable standards or medically prescribed doses to attain a certain effect. The substances abused may be legal, such as alcohol or prescription drugs, or illegal, like heroin and other street drugs which have no medicinal value.

    On the other hand, drug addiction, or compulsive drug use, refers to an uncontrollable desire to use a drug in spite of being aware of harmful psychological and physiological effects that they can have on the body. Addiction is often characterized by an insatiable appetite for substances by increasing the dosage, leading to a complete dependence on them.

    Since abuse and addiction are two distinct concepts, their causes are unique as well. Abuse is generally considered to be more complicated but it is not necessarily triggered by any motivational factor, unlike addiction which is caused by a powerful motivational force. Therefore, in most of the cases, abuse may not always result in addiction, but addiction can certainly lead to abuse.

    Impact of drug abuse and addiction on the brain

    It has been observed that both drug abuse and drug addiction have similar effects on mind and body. People often view abuse and addiction as a moral weakness or character flaw. One of the common myths surrounding drug use is that quitting it is directly linked to behavioral changes. In reality, addiction is a disease which alters the brain functions, hijacking the natural motivational control circuits. Thus, quitting is simply not a matter of choice or willpower. Though, the decision to use the drug initially might be voluntary, changes in the brain structure due to repeated drug use can inhibit someone’s self-control and decision-making ability, causing intense cravings.

    Experts attribute the inability to refrain from drug use to these changes in the brain. However, modern medical advancements have led to the development of an array of treatment and rehabilitation options to combat the disastrous effects of addiction and help abusers take control of their lives. Studies have shown that a combination of medications and behavioral therapy can boost the recovery process with minimal withdrawal effects.

    Possible reasons leading to drug abuse and addiction

    For those who are dependent on illegal substances, it can be difficult to know whether they have crossed the limit. Here are some possible reasons that can trigger drug abuse or addiction:

    • Connecting socially: A strong desire driven by an urge to fit into a certain group could lead people toward drugs.
    • Dealing with problems in life: Continuous drug use can get individuals accustomed to it, and soon it might become the only way to escape from problems and challenges.
    • Using drugs to combat other issues: Serious concerns, such as panic attacks or chronic pain, can cause dependence on drugs, until people discover healthier alternative methods to counter such problems.
    • Strong influence of any drug: Frequent use of drugs triggers dependence on them. Thus, what started as a voluntary choice may slowly transform into a physical and psychological need.

    Leading a drug-free life

    Many families and individuals have suffered great losses due to addiction to drugs. Fortunately, there is hope, though the battle to eliminate addiction and regain sobriety is challenging. There are numerous treatment strategies that can go a long way in helping people come out of their addiction-related problems.

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    Source by Barbara Odozi

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  • Who Will Become Wealthy in the Information Age?

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    As you know, we’re now well and truly in the
    Information Age. It began about 10 years ago. In fact,
    many economists say it began in 1989, with the Fall of
    the Berlin Wall (and the start of the World Wide Web).

    To understand who will become wealthy in the
    Information Age, first we need to understand how the
    Information Age differs from the Industrial Age (born
    about 1860, died about 1989).

    In fact, let’s get a complete overview and go back to
    the Agrarian Age.

    In the Agrarian Age, society was basically divided
    into two classes: the landowners and the people who
    worked on the land (the serfs). If you were a serf,
    there wasn’t much you could do about it:
    land-ownership passed down through families and you
    were stuck with the status you were born into.

    When the Industrial Age arrived, everything changed:
    it was no longer agriculture that generated most of
    the wealth, but manufacturing. Suddenly, land was no
    longer the key to wealth. A factory occupied far less
    land than a sheep farm or a wheat farm.

    With the Industrial Age came a new kind of wealthy
    person: the self-made businessman. Wealth no longer
    depended on land-ownership and the family you were
    born into. Business acumen and factories were creating
    a new class of wealthy person. But it still required
    enormous capital to build a factory and start a
    business.

    Then came the World Wide Web (in about 1989) and
    globalization. Suddenly, everything changed again.

    Factories (or real estate) were no longer necessary to
    run a business. Anyone with a website could start a
    business. The barriers to wealth that existed in the
    Agrarian Age and the Industrial Age were completely
    gone. People who could never have dreamed of owning
    their own business were making millions from their
    kitchen table.

    Of course, the Information Revolution didn’t begin
    in 1989.

    It began in 1444 when Gutenberg invented the printing
    press in Mainz, Germany.

    But the printing press (newspapers, magazines,
    paperbacks) belonged to the Industrial Age, not the
    Information Age.

    The printing press is a ‘one-to-many’ technology. The
    Internet is a ‘many-to-many’ technology. And that was
    what changed in 1989.

    The Industrial Age was about centralization and
    control. The Information Age is about
    de-centralization and no control. No government and no
    media magnate controls the Internet. This is the
    crucial thing to understand about the Information Age.

    As we moved from the Agrarian Age through the
    Industrial Age to the Information Age, there’s been a
    steady collapse of the barriers that kept one section of
    society wealthy and the other section poor.

    In the Information Age, literally anyone can become
    wealthy.

    So now that we have a clearer picture of how the
    Information Age differs from the Industrial Age, let’s
    ask that question again: ‘Who will become wealthy in
    the Information Age?’:

    (1) People Who are Self-Taught

    To explain this better, let’s go back to the Agrarian
    Age and the Industrial Age, and the Transmission of
    Skills.

    In the Agrarian Age, skills were passed on from father
    to son. If you wanted to learn how to be a blacksmith
    you had to be a blacksmith’s son. If you wanted to
    learn to be a stone-mason, you had to be the son of a
    stone-mason.

    With the coming of the Industrial Age, all this
    changed. You could go to University and learn whatever
    skills you wanted. Knowledge was freely available.

    But in the Information Age, the Transmission of Skills
    is changing once again.

    The skills necessary to succeed in the Information Age
    are not being learnt from our parents (as in the
    Agrarian Age), nor are they being learnt in schools
    and colleges (as in the Industrial Age). Children are
    teaching their parents computer skills. And many of
    the entrepreneurs who start hi-tech Internet companies
    have never been to college.

    The millionaires (and billionaires) of tomorrow
    probably won’t have a college education. They will be
    high-school drop-outs, self-taught people.

    (2) People with New Ideas.

    Again, it’s the people who are able to think outside
    of the existing structures who will become wealthy in
    the Information Age. Often, it’s just a Simple Idea
    that launches people to success in the Information
    Age.

    Take Sabhir Bhatia, for example – the man who invented
    Hotmail. Bhatia was a computer engineer working in
    Silicon Valley. He had no previous business
    experience, whatsoever.

    But one day, while he was driving back from work, a
    friend called him on his cell phone and said that he
    had an idea: What about starting a free, web-based
    email service? Bhatia knew this was the idea he’d been
    waiting for. He told his friend to hang up immediately
    and ring him at home on a secure line.

    Three years later he sold Hotmail to Microsoft for
    $400 million.

    (3) Writers

    The third group who will become wealthy in the
    Information Age are Writers.

    In the Industrial Age, Writers depended on large
    publishing Houses to get published (remember that the
    printing press is an Industrial Age technology – it is
    centralized and controlled). And the Publishing Houses
    took the lion’s share of the profits.

    In the Information Age, Writers are doing their own
    publishing – and keeping most of the profits
    themselves. Indeed, Writers are flourishing on the
    Web – mainly through eBooks and Ezine Articles.
    But even if you don’t write eBooks or Ezine Articles,
    if you own a website, you are a Writer.

    Why?

    Because the Internet is basically a written medium. It
    favors writers, people who are able to communicate
    effectively through the written word. Remember, it’s
    not the graphics on your website that sell, it’s the
    words you use.

    In the Information Age, we’re all Writers!

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    Source by

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  • Combine Language Learning and Technology to Explode Your Teaching and Learning Success

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    Are you looking to boost your English language teaching or learning skills to yet ever higher levels? Would you like to stimulate more interest in your language classes or break out of a slump or plateau? Combine the use of a variety of language learning techniques with continually developing technology to spur your successes. Here are some useful ideas and web sites to get you started.

    BLOGS

    A Web Log or Blog, is not unlike a dairy you keep online. You can write instructions, an essay or post any type of information you want. Graphics and images can be included to illustrate the written material. Sound and audio-visual files can also be placed into a blog for added impact. A teacher can post a reading or assignment where students can comment right online. No papers, no clutter and you can view it almost any time. Blogs are becoming easier to use and access and many sites allow you to set one up for free.

    ONLINE VIDEO / AUDIO

    Most professionals have an e-mail address or two. Your e-mail can now become a communicative tool between you and the learners. E-mail can now also include the use of images and sound or audio-visual clips, as well as the message text. Learners can send in assignments as attachments or pasted into the body of the e-mail. They can ask questions and receive timely feedback without waiting for the next class session. Teachers can send out instructions, updates or other information to learners individually, or as a group also without having to wait for the next scheduled class session.

    No computer? No problem. In many parts of the world e-cafes are so cheap they’re actually a viable alternative that students can easily afford. Whole “communities” of young learners are based on hangouts at e-cafes in some cultures. Talk to your students about it. You might be surprised.

    USE OF ONLINE RESOURCES for TEACHING / LEARNING

    The use of online games, EFL practice sites student and teacher forums, communities and activities has exploded in recent months in many parts of the world. Virtual communities and online reference libraries now enable learners to problem-solve, research a paper or to more quickly complete assignments that formerly would have taken disproportionately large amounts of time to complete. For example, a few sites worth mentioning include:

    o http://www.books.google.com/

    A web site which offers free access to books that can be read on-screen

    o http://www.universia.net.co

    This is a site which has a lengthy listing of virtual libraries in almost any genre and connects more than 900 mostly Spanish language libraries

    o http://www.redclara.net

    This site interconnects an advanced academic network of Latin American libraries

    o http://www.lablaa.org

    This site allows you access and read a large number of its collected works online and contains exposition pages

    o The official Project Gutenburg web site contains an extensive listing of literary works in English which have entered the Public Domain. It’s online at: [http://promo.net/pg/]

    Try some of these useful ideas and web sites to get you started in combining the use of a variety of language learning techniques with continually developing technology to explode your English language teaching and learning successes. If you need to know more about using these or other new technologies to boost student interest and motivation making your English language teaching more effective, feel free to e-mail me at the address below with questions or comments.

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    Source by Larry M. Lynch

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  • A Modern-Day David and Goliath – Techno Teen Takes on Computer Giant – and Wins!

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    “Those who say it can’t be done need to get out of the way of those that are doing it.” Unknown

    The entrepreneur of today’s world can be compared to the legendary Don Quixote – chasing windmills in search of great fortune.

    The entrepreneurial journey I would like to share with you in this article might be a bit of a surprise. I find it remarkable yet I have barely seen it mentioned in the press over the years.

    Imagine the following scenario. The year is 1983. You are a college freshman at The University of Texas in Austin, sitting in your dorm room playing around on your computer.

    1983. Pre-Internet. Pre-computers-on-every-desk, in-every-room-of-the-house. These were the days of PONG, where very few people sat around playing with personal computers. (If you don’t know what PONG is, ask someone a lot older than you.)

    Back to your dorm room. You are supposed to be in class. Instead, you are sitting there playing around on your computer and you have a bright idea – the proverbial “light bulb” goes off in your head.

    “I think I’ll start a computer company and compete with IBM!” Since no one is around to hear you and tell you how ridiculous you sound, you continue.

    You have no employees. No manufacturing facility. No family in the computer business. You’ve never even worked for a computer company. Sure, you’ve been pulling computers apart and putting them back together since your were 15 but come on! Compete with IBM? Everyone around you thinks you have lost your mind.

    Yet, you believe you have a better way.

    You develop a passion for the idea of making better computers and selling them for less by going directly to the consumer.

    The story goes that mom and dad heard that sonny-boy was skipping a lot of classes so that he could play with his computers. Mom and Dad decided to pay a visit one day and caught him red-handed. After reading Michael the riot act, Michael’s dad asked him what he wanted to do with his life. He told his dad that he wanted to compete with IBM.

    Imagine that conversation!

    And so it was that the 19 year old boy genius, techno-teen Michael Dell, armed with only $1000, abandoned his plans of becoming a doctor and dropped out of college after his freshman year to take on the big boys – IBM, Compaq, Hewlett-Packard, and others.

    He believed he could outsource everything – the manufacturing, distribution, sales and service. Remember now, this was pre-Internet. Pre-global-out-sourcing. He believed he could bypass the traditional expensive distribution channels and go straight to the consumers, giving them exactly what they wanted – better quality, lower cost computers made specifically for them.

    He knew what his consumer wanted because he was his own consumer – frustrated by poor customer service, crappy quality, non-existent customization and high prices.

    The rest is history. Modern American business history, that is.

    By the time Dell was 22 years old, his company had achieved annual sales of about $150 million. Starting with only $1000 and growing the company to a $1 billion (with a B!) public company in less than 10 years is a record few companies can match.

    Today Dell, Inc. is a $57 billion company with the leading market share in the United States with over 46,000 employees, including more than 16,000 in Central Texas. Dell is listed as the 8th wealthiest person in the United States according to Forbes magazine (August 2007). Dell first made the Forbes 400 Wealthiest People in the United States at the ripe old age of 26. He is said to have been worth over $20 billion by the age of 40.

    Dell has been named “Entrepreneur of the Year” from Inc. magazine; “Man of the Year” from PC Magazine; “Top CEO in American Business” from Worth Magazine; “CEO of the Year” from Financial World and Industry Week magazines.

    Not bad for a college dropout.

    Michael Dell. At age 19, he realized he could build a better mousetrap and sell it for less.

    Simple formula. Brilliant execution.

    The first time I heard this story, I frankly didn’t believe it. A college freshman takes on IBM, and wins?! No way, said my logical left brain. There has to be more to this story!

    No, this one goes in the “truth is stranger than fiction” category.

    Michael Dell was just a bright boy with a bright idea. Fueled by passion. Too young, too foolish, and certainly too focused to listen to the naysayers who said it couldn’t be done.

    According to Dell, “No one told me that we couldn’t do it, and if they did, I wasn’t listening.”

    It’s a good thing he wasn’t listening. In addition to revolutionizing the personal computer industry, Dell has donated more than $1 billion in stock to the Michael and Susan Dell Foundation, which is now one of the country’s largest foundations. The foundation focuses on children’s health and education initiatives.

    Even though today’s story is about a mega-millionaire with a gazillion dollar company, never forget that once upon a time, Michael Dell was a lot like you and me. Just a kid with a dream that wouldn’t die.

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    Source by Gina Carr

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  • Niches Lead to Riches

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    It doesn’t matter WHAT your niche is.

    It only matters THAT you have one.

    AFTER ALL: Niches lead to riches.

    Now, there are two potential types of niches you can leverage:

    1. Niche Expertise

    2. Niche Market

    Having a Niche Expertise means you know a LOT about a SPECIFIC TOPIC that applies to a WIDE AUDIENCE.

    So, it’s the answer to the question:

    1. What, specifically, are you known FOR?

    2. What word do you want to OWN?

    FOR EXAMPLE: Let’s say you’re a consultant whose expertise is on how to handle angry, pissed off or difficult customers.

    Fantastic! That’s what you’re known FOR.

    And the good news is, entrepreneurs with Niche Expertise have several advantages:

    They become a big fish in a big pond.

    They apply their knowledge cross industrial.

    They open wide doors for expanding their businesses.

    They diversify their client base, which leads to new business.

    They become the obvious expert sought out by the mainstream media.

    They allow new markets to add multiple dimensions to their single topic.

    Dave Jackson is a good example of this. He’s “The Angry Customer Guy.”

    That’s Niche Expertise.

    On the other hand, having a Niche Market means you know a LOT about a SPECIFIC GROUP OF PEOPLE to whom you apply MANY TOPICS.

    So, it’s the answer to the questions:

    1. Whom, specifically, are you known BY?

    2. What industry do you want to DOMINATE?

    FOR EXAMPLE: Let’s say you’re a consultant who works solely in the Jewelry Retail Industry.

    Awesome! That’s whom you’re known BY.

    And the good news is, entrepreneurs with a Niche Market have several advantages:

    They become a big fish in a small pond.

    They apply their knowledge cross-topical.

    They open deep doors for expanding their businesses.

    They specialize their client base, which leads to repeat business.

    They become the obvious expert sought out by industry and trade media.

    They allow industry trends to add multiple dimensions to their various topics.

    Shane Decker is a good example of this. He’s “The Jewelry Store Guy.”

    That’s a Niche Market.

    Now, occasionally you will run into entrepreneurs that have both a Niche Topic AND a Niche Market.

    FOR EXAMPLE: How to handle angry, pissed off or difficult customers … who shop at retail jewelry stores.

    That’s a SUPER Niche!

    And although it’s rare, if you can pull it off … good on ya!

    You get the best of both worlds.

    Either way, you MUST remember this process:

    1. Focus first; THEN spray. Either covering your topic or your industry.

    2. Develop specialized knowledge. Either about your topic or about your industry.

    3. Pick a lane. Either the topic lane or the industry lane.

    4. Go with gusto! Either about your topic or about your industry.

    5. Become That Guy. Either “for” the topic or “by” the market.

    REMEMBER: People prefer specialists.

    Turn your niches into riches.

    LET ME ASK YA THIS…

    Are you niching?

    LET ME SUGGEST THIS…

    For the list called, “46 Marketing Mistakes Your Company Is (Probably) Making,” send an email to me, and I’ll send you the list for free!

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    Source by Scott Ginsberg

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  • Anal Sex: Here’s How To Make Your Woman BEG YOU For It – YES, Really – BEG YOU FOR IT

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    You may think that the title of this article sounds too good to be true – but it’s 100% serious. You are about to discover exactly how to make your woman beg you for anal sex.

    If you want to do your woman ‘up the back door’ but she isn’t currently too happy about the idea, here is how to make her want anal sex.

    Most guys approach the issue of anal sex with their woman totally the wrong way. Here are a few examples of common methods that men use to try to get their woman to have anal sex with them.

    If you are currently using any of the following ideas, stop it straight away:

    Mistake #1: They try to persuade their woman to have anal sex with them by using logical arguments. For a woman sex is virtually 100% emotional. Therefore, logical arguments are a total waste of time.

    Mistake #2: Some men just try to ‘slip it in the back door’ when they are making love to them and hope their woman just lets them carry on with it. This is a terrible idea and one that you must avoid because it will probably hurt your woman and this could turn her off the idea of anal sex for a very long time.

    Worse still, it may break the sexual trust that you have with your woman. And when you lose that all important trust, you can say goodbye to your woman doing the really dirty, naughty stuff (like ‘back door action’) with you.

    So now that you know how not to try to get your woman to have anal sex with you, I can share the secret of how to make your woman beg you for anal sex.

    Pay attention, this is going to be fun…

    For starters, stop viewing anal sex as something that you need to ‘win’ from your woman and something that at best she’ll tolerate in order to allow you to have a good time. There isn’t a real man on the planet who thinks like that.

    Instead, adopt the belief that you are going to cause your woman to link massive amounts of pleasure to anal sex.

    That is the most important step, so I’ll repeat it – you are going to cause your woman to link massive amounts of pleasure to anal sex.

    And they way you do this is in very small steps.

    You cannot expect her to go from having never had anything up her butt, to taking your whole ‘tool’ all in one night.

    It ain’t gonna happen.

    No, no, no – your game plan for back door action has to be much cleverer than that. But don’t worry; I have already got the game plan for you, so all you have to do it put it into action…

    The 5 Step Plan To Make Your Woman Beg You For Anal Sex

    – Step 1: Use your tongue to give your woman oral pleasure, wait until she is just about to come and then gently rub her asshole with your finger. Keep rubbing it as she comes and you have started the process of getting her to link pleasure to her ass.

    – Step 2: Do the same as step one, but this time insert the tip of your finger into her butt as she is about to come and carry on doing it during her orgasm.

    – Step 3: Repeat the process again, this time inserting much more of your finger (all of it if possible), into her ‘back door’ as she gets on the verge of orgasm and during her orgasm

    – Step 4: Get a butt plug (start with a small one) and get her used to taking this up her ass. Be sure to insert the butt plug as she is about to come and during her orgasm. This way she links massive pleasure to her ass being touched by you

    – Step 5: Get your woman extremely turned on and wet. Give her a clitoral orgasm (with anal fingering) and then give her a deep spot orgasm. Next, bring out the lube and attempt to put your tool in her back door (use the doggy style position).

    Chances are that she’ll help you get inside her and totally enjoy the process. If she struggles to take you, repeat steps 3 and 4 and then retry step 5. Sooner or later she will beg you to take her in her butt.

    I’m the first to admit that this process is not set in stone.

    You have to be flexible in your approach. But this IS the way to do it if you want your woman to absolutely LOVE it when you take her in the butt.

    After-all, do you really want her to just oblige you because you begged for it, OR do you want to expertly and patiently make her crave back door action?

    If you want to make her crave it, use this 5 step process and be ready to repeat certain steps if need be. At the end of the day, it’s all good fun!

    Let me know how you get on.

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    Source by Adam A Armstrong

    Views: 0

  • MLM Business Plan: How Can You Use One To Profit ASAP?

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    Although getting a plan together is a genuine necessity, you’ll be pleased to know it’s actually rather simple to put one together or to make a few changes to your existing plan.

    Many online marketers understand that getting a plan together is a genuine necessity, you’ll be pleased to know it’s actually rather simple to put one together or to make a few changes to your existing plan.

    Although it is easy to create an MLM business plan when you know what your goals are, creating a profitable one is a different story altogether. To create these type of plans to actually turn a profit in your business, the main focus needs to be on how effective your marketing strategy is when it comes to generating commissions and sign ups in your downline.

    There are two main ways in which you can advertise online to turn a profit:

    1) Free marketing: social networking or content marketing are king here, basically any user generated content or anywhere in which you can interact one on one with another person within your circle of friends (or associates).

    This is a fun way to incorporate marketing into your MLM business plan, but it can be time consuming and without a large amount of people following your content, you have no real leverage and therefore no immediate profit.

    2) Paid marketing: this is an obvious one, but basically anywhere you pay to post an advert. For online marketing, adverts on other people’s blogs or sending solo ads to other marketer’s email lists are the most cost effective although there are more popular paid marketing methods such as Facebook advertising.

    These get immediate and targeted traffic, but without the proper education on paid methods you will certainly break the bank before you profit. With this option, you must also understand that this is an investment and there are times when you may even lose money, especially if you promote your offer to the wrong target market.

    Finally, you must analyse what you’re spending in your business. Is the product, service or event you’re about to invest in something that can be monetised, for example what will you learn in the training you purchase that will cover the cost of your investment? Or can you become an affiliate for what you’ve just purchased and sell copies of it to earn commissions?

    In conclusion, when you’re piecing together your MLM business plan you’re going to need to take a common sense approach. Forget cutting corners to save money, make sure the focus is on providing value to your potential customers in your marketing efforts whilst making your advertising cost effective.

    Lastly, ensure that the amount of advertising you will be implementing reflect on your goals e.g. number of sales a month so that you stay consistent with both your goals and marketing to avoid getting overwhelmed in your business, especially if you’re new to the MLM industry. Now that you have a basic understanding on how to profit quickly with an effective MLM business plan, what are you going to incorporate into your plan?

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    Source by Seb Brantigan

    Views: 0

  • Overcoming Mindset Challenges

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    We all have those days, we drop our heads and get down on ourselves; you might even let out a few expletive words for good measure. Our pickleball play is just not up to our, or the USAPA player rating standard. It’s frustrating. I’ll let you in on a secret I learned long ago from a coach who pushed us to achieve; your state of mind or your mindset, plays an enormous role in your successes and failure.

    Carol Dweck, author of Mindset, identifies 2 types of mind-sets; fixed and growth. The fixed mindset has shaped you from birth, it is what you are and has defined your belief in your potential. An innate conviction fashioned from external influences and internally interpreted. A fixed mindset, sees obstacles when faced with change and challenges and therefore will interpret failure as self-defeating in the lack of abilities. It’s like looking on the other side of the court and thinking that the grass is greener – your opponents seem to have all the right moves and it’s your lack of something that is keeping you from winning.

    On the other hand, the growth mindset is one that is embryonic. Here is where belief in ourselves can help us adapt and grow in the ways we want by developing our talents through hard-work and dedication. Learning to love our development playing pickleball and also developing a resilience to loss is the key.

    Hear Those “Voices”

    Learning to overcome a fixed mindset challenge begins with learning to control your emotions and then you can achieve optimal performance during competition. First, you need to pay attention to those negative voices; you know the one’s – from family members that expressed failure or the one’s from coaches that uttered a lack of talent. There may have even been laughter from classmates or club memberships. A mentor who would snap when you hit a setback. You may have developed a reactive “habit” – automatic response to an emotional stimuli. Pushing those old suppressed buttons will give you a release and an understanding but despite their best intentions, this can also trigger an emotional upheaval, easily sweeping you away. Fortunately there is one way to stop the spiral of uncontrollable emotional reactions – refocusing. Consciously stepping back to draw your focus into your senses and the physical effects they may manifest; elevated heart rate, sweaty palms, nausea, tight or tense muscles, anxiety, and shallow breathing.

    Acknowledge and Accept

    Staying in the present moment, acknowledging that these physical effects are poignant, so you can process the information as if you are a doctor observing a patient. Comprehend your emotional arousal as an imaginary threat, and your intensified state of mental stress or physical excitement is a normal response that can be reduced by controlling your emotions. Slow down. Accept that you can help your brain learn to process new “habits” to effectively stay grounded; stretch and breathe, visualize or focus on energizing cues that epitomize how you want to perform or transfer negative energy to positive energy.

    Choice

    You have a choice; interpret negative challenges or setbacks from a lack of talent fixed mindset or from a positive aptitude growth mindset. When you doubt your talent, change your focus – with time and effort, believe you can learn a particular skill or achieve a goal. If you hit a setback or face criticism, keep learning and persevere.

    When the grass on the “other side” draws my attention, I stop and reframe – finding the courage in myself to think of the “water”, or successes that keeps my grass green. I still find myself under stress, and I still hear the “voice” of my fixed mindset. I have learned to face the criticism; sometimes old responses rear their ugly head and I get angry – hitting the ball without thinking and making unforced errors. Other times I am able to put those voices in their place. I interpret my challenges, and setbacks then regain my emotional control. It’s all very personal.

    Over time, learning to take on the pickleball challenge wholeheartedly, gaining wisdom from setbacks, and acting on the criticisms you face by embracing the growth mindset can make it work for you.

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    Source by Patricia H Kuhnen-Beaver

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  • I’m Afraid My Husband Has Moved On And That It’s Too Late To Get Him Back: Insights That Might Help

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    I often hear from wives who want to know when it’s too late to get their husband back. Some tell me that, in their minds, it is too late because their husband has seemed to “move on.” I often hear comments like “We’ve been separated for six months. I think my husband has started seeing someone else. I’m starting to think that this is the end and that it’s too late for us. If someone has moved on, does that mean the end of the marriage?”

    Another example is something like: “My husband keeps telling me that we’re over and that it’s too late to do anything to save this marriage. Yesterday, he told me that he was moving on and that I should do the same thing. But I’m not sure how I can do this when it’s never going to be over for me. What can I do?”

    The common denominator in all of these questions and comments is that what the person asking really wants to know is when is it too late to save your marriage. Do you reach that “too late” point when your spouse tells you they have moved on? Do you have to take their word for it?

    Of course, I can’t definitively answer these questions for anyone because the answer depends on the specific people involved and the situation that they are in. But, I can offer you a perspective from my experiences and observations, which I’ll do in the following article.

    Sometimes, Couples Do Reconcile After One Of Them Has “Moved On”: If there’s anything that I know for sure in this situation, it’s that it is possible for things to change. Feelings change. Perceptions change. Situations change also. Just because someone is proclaiming or insisting something today, this doesn’t mean that they can’t do a complete about face tomorrow.

    I have seen divorced couples reconcile. I’ve seen couples who have been remarried to other people (sometimes for decent periods of time) decide to get back together. This doesn’t happen in every case, of course. But it most certainly can happen. Sometimes, there’s a change in circumstances which bring about a change of feelings. Other times, it happens spontaneously. But, much of the time, it’s part of a master plan meant to bring about small, gradual, and yet dramatic changes.

    Why Hanging On Too Tightly Can Sometimes Backfire: Wives in this situation often tell me that they just can not accept that it’s over or that he has moved on. I do understand this as I was in these shoes and I know how frustrating and painful this whole process can be. However, I can also tell you that I hear from husbands in this situation too and it’s my experience and opinion that clinging too tightly or “refusing” to accept what he’s telling you will often make him feel less loving or receptive toward you rather than more so.

    I know that it can be difficult to take step back or to pause when you’re so afraid that the second you do, he really will be gone. But sometimes, you just have to ask yourself if clinging so tightly has been working for you. Take a long look to see if your previous methods have really gained you anything.

    Sometimes, if you are honest and can maintain a little distance, you can see that actually, you’ve only been making things worse. It’s really important to ask yourself if the attempts you’ve been making have been bringing him closer to you or improving things or if they’ve been pushing him further away and deteriorating things. If this is the case, sometimes, you come to realize that trying something new isn’t as risky as it may have first appeared.

    Backing Off Or Taking Pause Is Not The Same As your Moving On: I sometimes have wives tell me things like: “maybe he’s moved on, but I will never be able to. I just can’t give up on our marriage or let go no matter what he says.” Another example is: “his moving on doesn’t mean that I have to.” All of these points are valid, but nothing says that you have to broadcast this to him. Because, when you’re asserting that you are absolutely not going to move on, then sometimes he will come to oppose you even more and think that he needs to ratchet up his efforts to change your mind. This of course, makes him move further away from you.

    So, there are times when you are better off just telling yourself that, although you know full well how you feel, you’re no longer going to keep repeating this to him when he already knows it anyway. There’s nothing wrong with appearing to back off when you know all along that your plan is to gain some ground. And, sometimes you need a pause to gain some perspective and calm.

    Taking time for yourself and taking a break from all of the drama can sometimes actually improve the situation. And sometimes, when you are suddenly silent or absent, your husband suddenly becomes interested again. This is what happened in my case, although it wasn’t by design.

    No matter which way you chose to go, it’s my experience that you are almost always better off if you are able to maintain your respect and dignity. You want to portray yourself in the strongest way possible and this often requires you to act “as if” when you just aren’t feeling it or aren’t all that confident. Sometimes, it helps to remember the person your husband loved once upon a time and to show him that person when the opportunity genuinely presents itself.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

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