Global Digital Store – Ebooks and Softwares

Tag: love

  • The Psychology of Drug Addiction

    [ad_1]

    There is, of course, a reason why people become addicted to drugs. The psychological aspect of addiction is extremely powerful. The human mind is a marvellous thing, and the thoughts we have can become all-ruling in our lives.

    Because we are these complex creatures, with thinking and reasoning capabilities, we can often discount the mind as only a small part of what we are. This is totally wrong, and in fact the psychiatric implications of drug use (or more properly drug abuse) are ever present, and can cause major disruption in the life of an addict.

    So just what exactly are we talking about here? The psychological aspects of the mind, and how it can control our lives, has been well known to professionals in the field for many years. For example, if one is the child of an addict, be it drugs, alcohol, or whatever, your own mind will rapidly justify to you the use of these substances as being OK. Let’s face it, you love your parents and if they are doing it then it’s got to be allright and can’t possibly be bad for you. You are in effect brainwashing yourself.

    Of course, as we know from proven scientific research, it is a fact that drugs have an effect on the brain. It becomes a brain problem. Drug abusers brains get so used to having these chemicals in them that sooner or later, depending on the substance, they actually “talk” themselves into needing those chemicals to function, and so the brain gives the body various (withdrawal) symptoms in order to get those chemicals.

    So what can be done to try to beat the psychological side of drug addiction? Getting help is a tried and tested method. Talking to a trained drug abuse counsellor, or other health professional is agood start to finding ways to overcomes your addiction.

    Wherever you are, there are many excellent programs available to those with a problem with substance misuse. The best of these will treat both the mind and the body. Because, as we already know, when you initially try to reduce your dependence on drugs, your mind will give your body a variety of withdrawal symptoms in order to get its “fix”. However, with professional help it is possible to successfully break the hold that drug addiction has on your body, your mind, and your life.

    It’s not strictly necessary to go into a rehabilitation facility. However it is proven that this method is very effective. These facilities can be expensive, as also can psychologists/psychiatrists. However, most long term drug abusers find that if they work it out they are spending over a period of time far more on their habit than the cure would cost, and the benefits to your wallet can easily be calculated. Even if it’s impossible to put a price on your future wellbeing.

    [ad_2]

    Source by Chris Haycock

    Views: 0

  • Addiction Marketing

    [ad_1]

    “Addiction Marketing” is a phrase I coined a few years back while waiting in line for my drink at Starbucks. I was observing the mass of people who like lost explorers in the desert rushing for an oasis seemed to be desperate for their daily (if not more frequent) fix of caffeine. It was at that moment that I realized that one of Starbucks key business drivers, if not their most critical business driver, was that Starbucks sells products that cater to peoples addictive tendencies. What Starbucks has done better than many other addictive marketers is that they also make it cool and trendy to succumb to your addiction. In today’s blog post I’ll examine addiction as a key success factor in business.

    When I was in school economics professors would lecture on using supply and demand drivers to create a business advantage…business professors would evangelize the strengths of the recurring value and stability of consumable products…marketing professors would espouse the benefits of relationship marketing, but nowhere do I recall being able to register for a class on addiction. However if you think about “Addiction Marketing” you’ll quickly realize what the “media pushers” on Madison Avenue and the product development and marketing gurus in the corporate world have known for years…all people have their unique set of vulnerabilities that if creatively and effectively exploited will lead to strong sales and powerful brands.

    If you read the business news over the weekend you’ll have noticed that the Indian government is attempting to force Coca Cola and Pepsi to divulge the formulas to their popular beverage products. One of the charges being upheld in the Indian High Court is that Coke and Pepsi products are addictive and unhealthy…Hmmm…Examine the following representative list of successful businesses and/or industries and come to your own conclusions as to whether these businesses or industries prey on the addictions of consumers world-wide to generate their revenue:

    Las Vegas – The tagline “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” caters to virtually every possible addiction under the sun…Sin City lives up to its reputation.

    Tag Body Spray – Tag’s recent commercial campaign has taken the phrase “Sex Sells” to a whole new level…In this campaign all an adolescent male needs to do is to spray himself with the Tag product and he finds himself instantly being attacked by hordes of attractive young women…If you have a teenage son, it would be a safe bet that Tag is his cologne of choice.

    The Beer and Alcohol Industry – You will be hard pressed to find a beer or alcohol company that doesn’t portray consumption of their beverage as the key ingredient to a lifestyle of fast cars, beautiful women, successful careers, etc.

    The Tobacco Industry – The tobacco industry has been publicly hammered for selling products that leverage the addictive effects of Nicotine and even with all the known health hazards smokers face, in many instances the addictive nature of the product is greater than peoples ability to make a logical decision.

    I don’t think anyone will dispute the examples noted in the above list as obviously preying on consumer’s addictive tendencies. However what about the more subtle side of the addiction business? Isn’t Starbucks using the same addictive business tactics as those industries listed above? What about companies in the luxury products sector? Companies that sell high end products and services cater to the elitist attitudes of this segment allowing consumers to make statements about their socioeconomic status based on the products they purchase. Is this not also catering to addictive tendencies?

    OK, now I’ll hit a little closer to home…What about my company’s value proposition? We sell success…Is it not possible to look at success as being an addiction? How about the social networking industry? Are social networkers and bloggers addicted to the interaction, attention, etc. that the new media platform affords? While I could go on, I think my point has been made…I’m certainly not implying that all consumers are addicts, nor am I implying that all companies are “pushers”, but I am pointing out that addiction marketing sells and that many companies use this as a strategic advantage. In fact, I believe the evidence is clear that a business can create a strong strategic advantage in sustainability if they find no ethical flaw in what I’ve coined as “Addiction Marketing”.

    The bottom line is that I love to travel and watch movies and I don’t think it makes me an escapist…I have a penchant for Starbucks (venti caramel frappacinos in particular) and I don’t think I’m a caffeine addict, I appreciate the fine clothes and quality automobiles and I don’t believe that makes me a social elitist. However I have also come to realize that my perceived addictive tendencies are clearly attempting to be preyed upon by creative and intelligent marketing and product development efforts. I’ll leave you with the following questions to ponder:

    What is the difference between pleasure and addiction?

    Do you feel “Addiction Marketing” is ethical?

    Does your company partake in addictive marketing strategies and tactics?

    And, when was the last time you made a purchase based upon your addiction?

    [ad_2]

    Source by Mike Myatt

    Views: 0

  • Using Reiki to Heal a Broken Heart

    [ad_1]

    When dealing with heartbreak the widespread belief is that time will heal all wounds. Although this is most assuredly true, there is a way to accelerate the healing process to bring some much needed emotional relief. That way is Reiki! Reiki (pronounced Ray-Key) is a form of healing energy that was first discovered in Japan in the early part of the 20th century by Dr. Mikao Usui and was later brought to the United States in the 1950s. It is now beginning to become more main stream as an alternative treatment for healing and well-being and is an excellent way to speed up the healing of a broken heart.

    Reiki is gentle and non-invasive and has been shown to dissolve energetic blocks in the body which in turn allows the body to heal more rapidly. In his book, Reiki, the Healing Touch, William Lee Rand describes Reiki as being able to heal,”…by flowing through the affected parts of the energy field and charging them with positive energy. It raises the vibratory level of the energy field in and around the physical body where the negative thoughts and feelings are attached. This causes the negative energy to break apart and fall away. “

    Since Reiki works on both a physical and spiritual level, it offers extra support when one is going through a break-up. Reiki is administered by the Reiki practitioner placing his or her hands on the client and allowing the Reiki energy to flow through his or her palm chakras. The Reiki energy then enters the client’s body and dissolves blocks of energy it encounters thus harmonizing the body and spirit of the client. This in turn allows the client to more readily heal from emotional and spiritual trauma caused by the break-up.

    Many Reiki practitioners are also able to clear out and balance the chakras of their clients. Having a Reiki practitioner clear out and balance one’s heart chakra, specifically, during this delicate time will not only help one to become more loving and kind to oneself, but may also allow one to more quickly be able to trust and offer love in a future relationship.

    Reiki is a powerful yet simple holistic modality that everyone can benefit from and especially those dealing with a recent loss. If you feel that Reiki treatments are something you would like to pursue to assist in your healing process, you may find a local practitioner by doing an internet search of Reiki practitioners. However, not all practitioners are the same nor charge the same price and just because a practitioner charges a great deal for a treatment does not mean he or she is the best practitioner.

    It is best to do a thorough investigation of all practitioners you find in the area and compare not only prices and services offered but to also call a few practitioners to ask questions about his or her practice. This way you will get a better feel for each practitioner as an individual and can decide on whom you intuitively feel best about booking time with for your first appointment.

    In most cases, after just your first session, you will begin to feel much better both physically and emotionally. The most common experience among Reiki clients is a feeling of deep relaxation and well-being during and after a Reiki treatment with the more profound healing results being noticed after a few sessions.

    Reiki is an excellent way to speed up your emotional healing and I highly recommend it to anyone experiencing any type of heartache.

    [ad_2]

    Source by Nancy Fowler

    Views: 0

  • Marital Discord in Astrology

    [ad_1]

    People normally say that a marriage has been settled in haven and is performed at the earth. It is seen that a married person is leading a very peaceful, prosper and comfortable life, but many are such who are weeping over married life and consequent upon this tension. All these are because of mismatch and adverse compatibility.

    Marital discord is a universal problem all over the world. The reasons can be many including the economical, lack of physical and psychological compatibility, extra-marital relationships, aggressive attitudes, selfish nature, over ambitions etc.

    Astrology can accurately reveal the ins and outs of human life, and therefore, can advice beneficially. Definitely, it has immense value, for astrology can give true guidance and advice regarding one’s marriage.

     

    Basic Factors Responsible for Marital Discord

     

    ·       Strength of ascendant

     

    ·       Moon—revels the desires of human mind

     

    ·       Venus—revels sexual appetite, love, desire, and happiness

     

    ·       Mars—assists in strengthening the sexual instincts in the ease of marriage or to help to establish sexual relationship.

     

    ·       Jupiter—significator of husbands for women

     

    ·       Sun/Saturn/Rahu— fiery, separative in nature

     

    ·       2nd house—denotes family

     

    ·       5th house — love affairs and marriage following intercourse

     

    ·       7th house— stands for love and matrimony,

     

    Wife/husband/law suits, partnerships.

     

     Different Combination for Marital Discord

    ·       Weakness of 2nd /7th houses because of planets present in the house or the lords of house are

     

    1.   Malefic in nature

     

    2.   Inauspicious placement of lords

     

    3.   Combust

     

    4.   Debilitated

     

    5.   Are in infancy or old -age state

     

    6.   Afflicted by functional malefic nodes [Rahu/Ketu]

     

    7.   Sandwiched between malefic planets

     

    ·       2nd /7th houses or their lords afflicted by the separative planet like Sun/Saturn/Rahu.

     

    ·       6/8 placement of 1st/7th lords—separation/divorce/break of agreement.

     

    ·       If lords of 1st/ 7th/2nd and Venus are occupying unfavourable houses/combust/debilitated/in enemy sign misfortune will happen after marriage.

     

    ·       Venus and Mercury in 7th house make a person of loose morals and drag to have extra marital relations.

     

    ·       Mars when debilitated and forming relationship with 1st/7th houses or their lords, make the person aggressive and ill tempered.

     

    ·       Node or Rahu/Ketu joining closely Mars makes native/spouse stray and that becomes the reasons for the discord.

     

    ·       The ascendant/Moon of husband/wife in inimical signs sows the seeds of inharmonious relations.

     

    ·       Afflicted or weak Jupiter shows selfish nature of married partner.

     

    ·       6/8 placement of Venus and Moon denotes disputes in love and marriage.

     

    ·       Aspect of at least two retrograde planets on 1st/7th houses/lords.

     

    ·       Saturn and Rahu/Mars and Rahu/Sun and Mars combinations afflicts 1st/7th denotes disputes and discords.

     

    ·       8th/12th lords occupy 3rd house, and 7th house with nods/malefic planets, divorce or separation takes place. 

    [ad_2]

    Source by Geeta Jha

    Views: 0

  • Advantages of Group Dating

    [ad_1]

    Group dating is very popular in Japan and it is also known as ‘compa’ and ‘gokon’. Group dating is slowly becoming very famous in other countries also because through group dating people can easily find a suitable partner. The concept of dating in a group is very unique and different. In this system a girl and a guy who know each other from before plan a date in which each of them get 4 to 5 eligible friends. This date can be held in discos, bars, restaurants and hotels.

    So now let us discuss the most advantages of a dating in a group. These advantages will help you to understand this type dating in a better way.

    1. Socialize in group in a much better way
    As a group dating system involves trustworthy peers people can socialize in a much better way with each other. Group dating helps a person to learn from one another’s experiences. This type of dating involves a group of trusted teens who go out together in a group rather than in couples. Every parent want their kids to be in good company and influence, this type of dating helps them in this matter.

    2. Group dating helps in observing the opposite sex
    Teenagers are often interested in the opposite sex, but they are too scared of rejection. But in this type date setting, teenagers of genders can get to know each other very well. In this setting, every person can keep an eye on his or her friend, this helps in creating a better bond between friends and siblings.

    3. Can get acquainted with each other very easily
    This type of dating is most appropriate for those people who like some one but are not able to express their feelings. By becoming a part of this system they can get to know more about the person they like or love. Through group dating they get confidence and can face rejection more easily and boldly.

    4. No risk of temptation
    Having fun and getting to know each other are two main features of a group date. Kids involved in this type of dating are much better behaved because they want to impress each other. They avoid doing things that can harm their friends. Temptation is reduced to the bare minimum because kids are in the company of trustworthy friends.

    5. No pressure of impressing any one
    The main advantage of this type dating is that even if you do not manage to find a partner, you can still enjoy the outing or party with your friends. In a group dating even if you do not find a compatible partner you can still have a pleasant time, because you do not need to impress a particular person.

    These are the most important advantages of this type of dating system.

    [ad_2]

    Source by Jessica N King

    Views: 0

  • Addiction To Unrequited Love

    [ad_1]

    The Torchbearer – S/he will love me one day

    It sounds silly for one to be addicted to unrequited love, but it can sometimes be the result of growing up in a household where love was either conditional or not consistent. As a child, the “torchbearer,” may have been always trying to win the love, praise or affection from a parent (or someone else influential) who was unavailable, abusive or failed to provide proper nurturing…. or the child could have witnessed one parent in a sort of unrequited love relationship with the other and could have taken that energy on. If it wasn’t an issue of childhood environment, then possibly some sort of other trauma occurred to upset the torchbearer’s self-esteem and their ability to feel safe receiving love. It can also result from a sudden and unexpected separation, betrayal, health, or appearance issue.

    At an existential level, the torchbearer may have developed a belief that they are not worthy of love and they may find themselves attracted to love situations that seem to keep them stuck in this dynamic: loving someone, but not able to fully receive love back. Although the person feels unworthy of love on some level, often they know they are worthy on another level, which the torchbearer then may become confused as to why they stay addicted to an unavailable person. The relationship then becomes about fantasy, idealization, avoidance, or a love-hate relationship ensues where the addict both loves and disapproves of the object of their devotion.

    According to love addiction expert Susan Peabody, the main categories of love addictions include:

    • obsessed love addicts: obsess and can’t let go even if their partners are unavailable or abusive
    • codependent love addiction: needy to please partner for sense of self
    • narcissistic love addicts: take advantage of their partner and can act disinterested, selfish or abusive and yet still feel addicted to partner and can’t let go
    • ambivalent love addicts: this category includes unrequited love addicts (also known as “torch-bearers”), saboteurs, seductive withholders, and romance addicts. The main goal through this kind of love addiction is the avoidance of true deep emotional intimacy and bonding. These addicts crave love and affection, but are afraid to get too close at the same time.

    Unrequited love addicts are part of the category of Ambivalent Love Addicts. Susan Peabody was the first to create the term “Ambivalent Love Addiction”. Her book “Addiction to Love: Overcoming Obsession and Dependency in Relationships,” is an amazing book for anyone wishing to learn more about love addiction.

    To be an ambivalent love addict, or torchbearer, means that one deeply craves love, intimacy, commitment, and unconditional love. However, at the same time, one has fears of relating deeply to another person. Such love addicts can end up pushing love away or holding it at a distance. Subconsciously, it can feel much safer for these individuals to love someone who isn’t fully there or who doesn’t want a full-on commitment. Picking an individual who is married, committed to another, distant, a player, a saboteur, or a sex addict may act to help the torchbearer avoid a true relationship. Some torchbearers end up addicted to friends or colleagues and hope the relationship will become something more.

    With many of the torchbearers that I have read, I find there is usually an excuse to continue chasing the love interest. However, there is also always a counterproductive excuse for never letting the love interest know their real feelings. It is even possible that if the object of infatuation actually returned affection or expressed desire for commitment towards the love addict, the love addict might not crave the interest anymore. One popular excuse that I have heard reads something like: “getting what I wanted or asked for took too long, therefore I no longer trust the love interest anymore, so I no longer want a relationship.” Once the love interest gives up, separation anxiety sets in again. Why does this occur? An illusion has been broken and the person idolized has become more human and less of a challenge to the ego.

    The torchbearer runs the risk that even if they obtain the object of their desire they may not achieve the closeness or intimacy they desire unless they change why they were addicted in the first place. Sometimes the addiction simply changes. An addict may transform from a torchbearer into a seductive withholder. They can even start becoming a codependent love addict if the once unrequited love relationship begins to become real.

    So, how do you know if you are addicted to unrequited love?

    What are the symptoms? The symptoms listed below are not comprehensive, but ones I typically see with clients (usually women):

    • Do you obsess over or find yourself only attracted to love interests who are not available in some way or who are married, playing you, who are “just friends,” or have left you?
    • Do you fear communication or to let the person know your interest in them, feelings, and other basic questions for fear of rejection or to keep the fantasy going? Or do you find yourself communicating but unable to accept a lack of response or a non-commital response without hoping if you wait long enough you will be wholly wanted?
    • Do you suffer in silence while you hold adoration towards someone who doesn’t really know? Some unrequited love addicts pursue their interests opening and ardently, but others can hold torches for people who they will not let themselves get close to nor let themselves be revealed in any real way.
    • Do you expect your love interest to be psychic/empathic and to just know and interpret your feelings and needs, even though there has been no grounded communication? Are you living out your relationship psychically or vicariously through “signs” or empathic feelings that the other person may be thinking about you, even if there is no contact?
    • Do you find yourself always hoping and waiting for the other person to make an interest in you known?
    • Can you never feel “close” in a real way to the person you are holding a torch for?
    • Are you always living out the relationship in your head?
    • Are you continually asking yourself many questions, wondering about the other person feelings and intentions (or potential future intentions) without ever grounding anything to test to see if any fantasies are real?
    • Do you have other addictions, such as to sex, psychics, alcohol etc?
    • Do you feel you cannot let go of the love interest even though it is not making you feel loved? Do feel powerless to stop at will.
    • Is the preoccupation with this interest having a more negative affect on you spiritually, financially and other ways than positive? In the end, are you losing more than you gain?
    • Do you have a history of being hurt or obsessing on lack of love, attention or approval by a parent or someone else influential in your earlier life?
    • For those with less intense expressions of this addiction: are you confused why you only seem to attract or are attracted to unavailable people or people who are not 100% wanting a relationship? And with this, do you feel bored with people who are into you or once a relationship starts to develop? Does it seem that all the people who would be right and loving towards you, you cannot “fall in love” with?

    If you have an “interest” that you crave but are afraid to reach out to in any real and genuine way for fear of rejection, then you might be addicted to unrequited love. You may also be addicted if there is an underlying knowledge that expressing your wants and needs would not be appropriate. I’ve talked to many clients who are totally engaged with these types of interests, sometimes even sexually. But, usually they know on some level there are certain things they cannot ask/dare put forward cause the relationship is casual though they want something more. Though the “craving” is not always required, this article is mostly written for the hard core unrequited love addict.

    Here is an example of one kind of non-communicative unrequited love addict who does have some relationship and interaction with her love interest:

    A woman starts to like an attractive man. They meet and there is some flirting — the man seems interested to the woman. Information is exchanged followed by mixed signals that mark the relationship. The woman starts obsessing and fantasizing about having a relationship with the man. However, the man won’t make a clear move and the woman ends up doing most of the contacting to keep interaction ongoing. The woman acts casual because she wants the man to make his interest known first. She is getting some cues of affection and indication of interest, but it’s kept superficial and she is always unsure. This goes on for some time, sometimes months, and she starts thinking “Does this guy really want a relationship or am I just casual or a friend?” Despite feeling a sense of unknowing and distress, the woman will never risk asking to find out. She starts asking advice from other friends who tell her to forget about the man, but she hangs on in hope he will ask for a real date or commitment or show he cares.

    The man is simply not putting out vibe of wanting a full-on relationship. However, she starts to fantasize that maybe he is just scared, can’t communicate or is insecure. She fantasizes that he will start to be more demonstrative or want something more if she can just hang in or never upset the status quo. She even wonders, “should I say something or make a move”, but something inside is telling her it’s not safe to tell this person how she feels because they are not on the same page, so she withholds keeps holding a torch for this person. She finds out the man has started to pursue someone else and she feels upset and feels betrayed. But, still, she has never had clear indication they are in a “relationship.”

    In the worst cases of unrequited love addiction I have seen, the client is addicted to psychics, using spell casters to cast spells to make their love more available, or are even asking for healing sessions on the person they are addicted to hoping healing something in their love interest will change the reality of what is going on.

    What Can You Do If This Sounds Like You?

    Often, I see two main themes running in these relationships: fear of true communication (or fear of accepting a communication or lack there of), and fear of vulnerability & rejection. Many times I also recommend torchbearers learn how to set boundaries and how to respect others boundaries. If the torchbearer is holding on waiting for a “sign” or demonstration from the love object, afraid of giving up, learning communication would help with getting out of fantasizing a relationship and making it more real. In the least, the torchbearer can get closure, if the love addict’s desires are not reciprocated.

    Getting closure isn’t always an easy thing for a love addict. It is often considered to be a harsh rejection. Many frightened unrequited love addicts wish to avoid being hurt at all costs. However, with this cost, these love addicts avoid true intimacy and relationships.

    Most unrequited love clients I work with have a shut down throat chakra. They may have been raised or learned through some experience that expressing feelings or needs is a burden on others, a sign of weakness, inferiority or something to be afraid of. Codependent types are afraid to cause any sort of confrontation or rejection for themselves. However, the only way out is through. The crux is that this dynamic is used to avoid another hurt or rejection and this continues the cycle of avoiding true commitment, intimacy and bonding.

    Step 1: Communication With Yourself

    The first step is for the torchbearers to ask themselves what they truly want from a relationship. What is their vision of how they want to be loved and committed to? This step may be one of the hardest. The unrequited love addict may be so used to avoiding confrontation that asking them to figure out what they want and need seems strange. Torchbearers ask themselves “How do I get someone who doesn’t care to do so? How can I be better? More lovable?” Simply leaving an unrequited love may not solve the problem either. It may just transfer the love addiction from one of pursuing the unrequited love interest to holding a torch and suffering in silence while pining after the loss. They may remain stuck, wondering if maybe this person is still missing them or thinking of them and it gives them hope for reconciliation.

    Step 2: Communication With Your Love Interest

    If communication is possible to ask for closure, this is the next step. I recommend asking in direct ways and not just looking for “signs.” State what you want out of love and a relationship, and ask the object of your affection if they feel they will ever be able to give it. Risk hearing the truth and risk rejection. This helps break the fantasy and though may be incredibly painful, it is the next step towards risking true intimacy and attracting the right relationship and breaking through all the fears that prevent it from coming. The whole idea of love addiction is the belief that without love one is nothing. If one can risk losing love and still see themselves as whole, then one can start going into relationships with sense of self as a sole identity which another can complement, rather than feeling another will complete them.

    Fear of intimacy (getting to know someone deeply), commitment, communication, rejection, boundaries, and confrontation needs to be challenged. Love addicts can also seem like perpetual victims or trauma junkies. So healing the need to be a victim is key too.

    Taking on the challenge of learning to set boundaries, risk confrontation and rejection, to communicate ones wants and needs (and listening to another’s – which this might be the real fear) may seem overwhelming. But, it is the only way out. All of this should be targeted, in addition to working on childhood issues, which implanted some of these fears and patterns.

    Step 3: Accepting What Is Communicated Back or Any Lack Of A Response

    Sometimes, the love addict at this stage may have been totally clear with their love interest what they want and they still feeling or receiving mixed signals. The person of their infatuation may be ambivalent, stringing them along, or afraid to just be honest and give them the closure they need. Sometimes there may be a lack of response — ie: an email is sent to the love object who appears to be avoiding sending a response back. In these cases, aim for setting a boundary for yourself on how long you will wait for what you need and stick to it. Be willing to recognize when you need to either end a relationship or at least bring it down to a more casual and detached level while you pursue other options.

    For those who find they are always making clear what they want and are still waiting to receive it or feeling unheard, the lesson may be in knowing when its time to stop voicing your needs and wants realizing they will not be met or cared for. Just affirm to yourself as much as you can that you can and are willing to find someone who can meet your wants and needs.

    Step 4: Changing and Challenging One’s Views on Love

    I also recommend changing how one views love. There is something self-absorbed in all the withholding and holding on. It is focused on fear and self-protection instead of love or generosity and true interest in another person and their needs and feelings. Many love addicts actually fool themselves into thinking their co-dependence is proof that they are being more loving than anything else. However, love is about extending and exposing oneself in the face of rejection and providing a safe and open place for someone else to extend and expose themselves. Love is not manipulative, wanting to change people or situations or waiting for such situations or people to change.

    Love is not about being a martyr either. If you can’t take a risk to know anyone else or have them tell you their wants and needs, or accept or listen when they are not on the same page, how can you expect someone to care and listen concerning your own wants and needs?

    Not all unrequited love addicts are afraid to state their wants, needs, and boundaries. But, often what can happen is the torchbearer is always stating needs and boundaries and they are not listening to what is being conveyed back. They keep hoping the love object will change, mature, or outgrow his detached stance.

    A Few Self-Help Healing Tools

    While one can always benefit from professional therapies, coaching, and alternative healing sessions geared towards transmuting thought patterns, there are a few healing tools that can be used to assist recovery from love addictions (feel free to look for others as I only mention a few here).

    If one has ever used “flower essences” before (a form of homeopathy), Australian Bush Flower Essences (www.abfeusa.com for more information) has a “Relationship Essence” which contains the following:

    • Boab: helps bring change, helps clears negative core patterns that are rooted in family and which are inherited. Can also help clear negative lines of karma that exist between individuals and past life influence.
    • Bluebell: is for those who cut themselves off from their feelings and helps to open the heart and to disolve greed and rigidity. Emotions are present but withheld and there is even fear of expressing positive emotions such as joy and love, etc through operation of fear that there is just not enough and they can’t survive if they let go of all they hold onto.
    • Bottlebrush: helps one to resolve mother issues and helps one embrace major life changes. It brushes away the past allowing individuals to move on and go forward.
    • Bush Gardenia: helps one to renew passion and interest in relationships. Helps with intimacy, and resolving where there is too much self-interest or lack of awareness in a partnership.
    • Dagger Hakea: Is for helping on to release resentments, bitterness and grudges.
    • Flannel Flower: is for those who fear emotional or physical intimacy, getting too close and who have a hard time maintaining personal boundaries. Helps one to garner trust to express ones innermost feelings.
    • Red Helmet Orchid: Helps for resolving father issues, probelms with confrontation or authority.
    • Red Suva Frangipani: Is for the rocky relationship that is challenged and is also for resolving deep sense of loss and sadness when a relationship is in trouble or has ended. Helps to heal that feeling of Wedding Bush: Is for issues with commitment to a relationship, job, goal etc. It can be used for individuals who tend to flit from one relationship to another, or for those who leave relationships when the crush phase or initial attraction has diminished.

    A book I highly recommend is Addiction to Love: Overcoming Obsession and Dependency in Relationships by Susan Peabody (co-founder of LAA).

    Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is another tool that can help with love addictions. EFT can be easy to learn for free from demonstrations on YouTube or free downloads on various sites.

    [ad_2]

    Source by Mandy Peterson

    Views: 0

  • Sex As a Natural Treatment For Gout

    [ad_1]

    I wanted to laugh when I first came across this rather ridiculous suggestion on some of the online sources about natural treatments for gout. After the initial state of skepticism, I decided to do some study about this interesting topic about having sex as a natural treatment for gout.

    Well, it must somehow works on some of the gout patients until this method is widely spread as one of the treatment option for gout. Some people think it works, but they just cannot explain how it works on reducing the inflammation and pain of the notorious gout attacks. Before I explain how to have good sex as one of the method of treating your gout, you must first understand the chemistry of sex.

    We all know about the temptation and good feelings that good sex gives us. That is part of our natural instinct, and having a healthy sex life plays an important role in maintaining the well being of our body and mind.

    Scientists call sex as a melting pot of the soup of bio-chemicals, the hormones. This scientific statement may somehow kills away some of the romantic side of sex, but whatever you feel as the result of sex can actually be explained by simple science. It is not a matter of what happens between your legs, it is about the chemical reactions happen between your ears.

    There are a few vital hormones that contribute the pleasures (and pain relief) we feel during sexual intercourse. It starts with dopamine, which is one of the brain’s pleasure chemicals. Dopamine is released in the ‘reward centre’ of the brain when we see something that arouses our desire, such as good food and attractive partner. Dopamine increases the pulse rate and cardiac functions which result in the ‘blushing’ effect in some people.

    During sexual orgasm, your brain will push the amount of dopamine to the max and then bring it down right after the climax with the release of prolactin which prevents you from over indulge in the rush of dopamine. Prolactin rises sharply immediately after orgasm and it is what gives you the “full” feeling after your intimate moment. Prolactin disengages you from sex after orgasm and makes room for your mind to think of other things besides the naked person lying next to you.

    Beside the roller coaster ride of dopamine, there are two other sex related neurotransmitters that contribute to the whole sensation of sex. Oxytocin, which is also known as the “cuddling hormone” is a hormone secreted by the pituitary gland when you feel the affection to someone you love dearly. Oxytocin helps in creating a strong bond between you and your lover.

    Oxytocin stimulates the production of endorphin which is the ‘happy neuro chemical’ that produces the feelings of ecstasy and pleasure. Endorphins fill you with a sense of well-being and relaxation, and sometimes might even drift you off to sleep. Endorphin has a similar chemical structure of morphine and that explains why it has the pain relief effects.

    The quality of you sex life determine the levels of the above mentions hormones in your body. If you want to have sex as a treatment for gout, you must know how to ‘control’ the release of those hormones.

    The best guideline is to increase the amount of oxytocin and endorphin as much as you can while minimize the fluctuation of dopamine and prolactin. Since oxytocin and endorphin are more emotionally related, so it is good to practice longer lasting sensual experiences with your lover instead of a lustful release of desire.

    Make love, not sex. Those pain and stress relief hormones are hidden in your brain not your sex organ. Cultivate the right feelings and emotions with your love ones by having romantic foreplay and delay the ejaculation for as long as you can while making sure both of you enjoy the pleasure of sex.

    [ad_2]

    Source by Heemen Ee

    Views: 0

  • The Thirteen Steps to Riches, Napoleon Hill – A Brief Look at Each

    [ad_1]

    In his book “Think and Grow Rich”, Napoleon Hill talks of the Thirteen Steps to Riches. This information is still as relevant today as it was at the time of publication. This article looks at each of the steps briefly.

    Step 1: Desire

    You need to have a burning desire to achieve success. If you are tentative and timid, then it is not true desire. Have a definite and specific goal for what you want to achieve, and stick to it. Have a plan for how you are going to achieve that goal.

    Step 2: Faith

    Have faith that you really can achieve what you desire. If you have truly believe it, then it is more likely to manifest itself.

    Step 3: Autosuggestion

    Have a mental picture in your mind that you have already achieved what you desire. By replaying this consistently in your mind, you will gain the faith that you need to achieve it.

    Step 4: Specialized Knowledge

    Knowledge is not power, it is potential power. It becomes power if that knowledge is used, and put into definite plans of action. Take the time to learn what you need in order to become an expert in your field of expertise. Associate with others who are already experts and learn from them.

    Step 5: Imagination

    Albert Einstein said “Imagination is everything. It is the preview to life’s coming attractions”. This sums it up beautifully. If you can visualise what you want in life, and then focus on it, it should become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

    Step 6: Organized Planning

    Once you know what your goal is, you need to have a definite and practical plan for how you are going to achieve it. Put the pieces in place that will help you achieve your success.

    Step 7: Decision

    Come up with a firm decision and stick to it. Don’t let others make your decision for you, and don’t delay your decision or procrastinate.

    Step 8: Persistence

    Lack of persistence keeps many people from great accomplishment. Keep working towards your goal, no matter what obstacles get in your way. Many people give up the minute they reach the slightest obstacle. You have to keep rising above the challenges thrown at you, and keep focusing on your end goal.

    Step 9: Power of the Master Mind

    Often those that are close to us will send us off course with their opinions and ridicule. Surround yourself with like minded people, who are all working towards a common goal. By doing this you create synergy, which is an unstoppable force.

    Step 10: the Mystery of Sex Transmutation

    There are a number of different stimulants that increase the intensity of our thought way beyond the realms of ordinary thought. For example love, a burning desire for fame or financial gain, music, fear. The most powerful of these stimulants is that of sex.

    Step 11: the Subconscious Mind

    The thoughts you have determine what you get in your life. Focus on your plan, and imagine that you have already achieved it.

    Step 12: the Brain

    It has been said that we only use somewhere between 5 and 10 percent of our brain. The rest of our brain power forms the subconscious mind, which is what we need to tap into in order to achieve the successes we desire.

    Step 13: the Sixth Sense

    The ability to use the sixth sense is gained when you apply and master all the previous steps. It takes time to develop it, and it is not something that can be switched on and off at will.

    [ad_2]

    Source by Kathy Munslow

    Views: 0

  • The Single Sales Principle and The 8 Myths of Selling

    [ad_1]

    The Single Sales Principle states that:

    ‘People buy when a compelling need is met by a credible solution that offers perceived value’.

    Simple. Too simple? Well, as Jim Collins claims in his book Good to Great, “Freud, Darwin and Einstein all had one thing in common. They took a complex world and simplified it.” And Single Principled Salespeople do just that. They understand that selling doesn’t have to be complicated. They simply make it easy for a customer to buy.

    It’s one of the two things they have in common. They are customer centric, not sales centric.

    The other thing that Single Principled Salespeople have in common is that they never follow the 8 myths of selling. Simply never.

    The 8 myths of selling were taught by well-meaning sales managers, eager to pass on the wisdom and knowledge that their sales managers had passed on to them. Like a cult, however, no one had questioned whether they were true. The 8 myths may have worked in their day, but they simply do not work today.

    Do you remember how you felt when you discovered there wasn’t really a Santa Claus? I remember it well. It was the 12th December 1971 and my (so called) best friend Johnny Harrison broke the fateful news to me over a Curly Wurly. I felt like I had been had. You don’t question what you are told as a kid; you just believe it to be true.

    Well, that was also the way I felt the day that I discovered that everything that I had been taught up to that point in sales was a complete lie; all myths. They were theories that had no substance in the modern world.

    Walk onto most sales floors and you’ll see the 8 myths of selling proudly displayed on the wall (probably next to the target and the ‘Inspiration’ poster):

    “Attitude Sets Altitude”

    “People Buy People”

    “Always Be Closing”

    “Customers Like to Talk about Themselves”

    “It’s a Numbers Game”

    “Sell the Sizzle not the Sausage”

    “Money Talks”

    “Fail to Plan, Plan to Fail”

    Be honest, you believe in at least half of the 8 myths yourself, don’t you? You are not alone.

    Most salespeople will quote them as the ‘sales gospel’. Suggest that they are myths and they will think you have gone mad.

    On the surface the 8 myths look perfectly reasonable. In fact, set inside a picture frame, each one looks positively motivating. And I am sure they made a lot of sense, at the time. But things change. And so has selling.

    Myth 1: Always Be Closing

    If you need to use closing techniques to get a sale, you clearly haven’t demonstrated that your product meets their needs. Rather than force the customer into a decision they will regret, simply go back to where you lost them in the buying process, and start again from there. If you apply the Single Sales Principle® you don’t need to close… the customer should be asking you to buy.

    Myth 2: Attitude sets Altitude

    Abraham Lincoln asked the question: “How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn’t make it a leg”. No amount of looking in the mirror and telling yourself ‘you’re a tiger’ will work if you don’t believe in your product.

    The better the value proposition, the better the attitude of a salesperson. Single Principled Salespeople ensure that they have a deep, genuine belief in their value proposition.

    Myth 3: People Buy People

    People buy when the product/service cost-effectively meets the customer’s needs. No amount of schmoozing with a client will make up for a poor product match.

    Being personable is, of course, important in sales. But isn’t it important in all vocations? Friendly plumbers are more pleasant to deal with than unfriendly plumbers. Friendly bus drivers are more pleasant to deal with than unfriendly bus drivers. Friendly lawyers are more pleasant to deal with than unfriendly lawyers (unless they’re on your team of course!) Ken Hubbard, the American writer said “Beauty is only skin deep, but it’s a valuable asset if you’re poor or haven’t any common sense!”

    In the good old/bad old days, salespeople would use their charm (‘beauty’) to cover up for this lack of a credible solution (‘common sense’). Today’s professional buyer can see through that. It’s what is underneath that counts most.

    Myth 4: Customers Like to Talk about Themselves

    We have sat on thousands of sales calls. Some were good. Some were bad. And some were downright ugly. The bad ones were those where the salesperson doesn’t ask any questions at all. They launch into their features and benefits without any consideration for what the buyer may actually needed.

    And then there were the ugly calls. The salesperson knew that they had to conduct a fact find, and gain as much information about the customer as possible. So they launched into a ‘Spanish inquisition’, asking a list of meaningless questions that did nothing but bore the customer.

    Yes, there is a certain amount of information that needs to be identified in a sales intervention, as without it it is difficult to make a recommendation and know whether the opportunity is worth fighting for. But this is all for your benefit, not theirs. Needs make sales, not customer biographies.

    Myth 5: It’s a Numbers Game

    Average salespeople get a long way by putting in long hours and running around contacting a lot of people. They then submit ‘phantom forecasts’; over-optimistic sales projections based on a pipeline of proposals that never convert into actual business. This is because the needs identified in the sales call were not compelling needs.

    Just having a need doesn’t mean that the customer will act upon it. Many of the deals on a salesperson’s pipeline remain unclosed because the customer keeps procrastinating over the decision. Playing the numbers game doesn’t help them deliver more sales. It just creates more work for themselves and everyone around them.

    The Single Principled Salesperson ensures that the needs are compelling prior to presenting the solution. Why? Because only then are they assured that the customer will be motivated into action.

    Myth 6: Sell the Sizzle, not the Sausage

    We love the concept of making presentations sizzle. Our issue with the myth of ‘selling the sizzle’ is with how salespeople think that they can bamboozle a customer with fancy presentations that are high on show but low on substance.

    At first sight, ‘selling the sizzle’ seems to make perfect sense. The sausage sizzling away on a griddle is much more likely to sell than an uncooked sausage sitting in the fridge. But this is because the sizzle fired up your senses bringing attention to the fact that you are hungry. The sizzle satisfied your compelling need.

    Ever smelt a sizzling sausage when you have food poisoning? It would probably make you feel even worse. This is because this time your need isn’t hunger. In fact, food is the last thing you need.

    Myth 7: Money Talks

    Listen to buyers and you’d think that they really do believe that money talks. Buyers are a brutal species, taking sheer delight in making a salesperson sweat on price. They trick them into thinking it is all about cost, and if the salesperson doesn’t drop their price they will find a supplier who will. Indeed, some buyers actually believe in this hype themselves.

    But customers actually want value, not the cheapest price. If people wanted cheap we would all be driving around in 10-year-old cars and shopping in charity shops. Products are only perceived as expensive if the value is not appreciated by the customer. You’ll never lose a deal on price, only on value.

    Myth 8: Fail to Plan, Plan to Fail

    Salespeople tend to fall into two camps: those who plan too much and those who hardly plan at all.

    Those who plan too much tend to be ‘busy fools,’ i.e. running around doing very little. When we go out with these salespeople on calls they show us all the planning they have done: a tour of the client’s website; the previous history; a list of questions they are going to ask; competitor information etc. The problem is they don’t even refer to it.

    The second type are those salespeople who do very little planning. Indeed, most salespeople fall into this category. You may be surprised to learn that so do Single Principled Salespeople.

    “Hooray!” I hear the cry from the sales community at large. “What? No need to plan?” Not quite!

    Peter Drucker, the management guru, defined the difference between ‘effectiveness’ and ‘efficiency’ as being:

    “Efficiency is doing things right; Effectiveness is doing the right things.”

    Single Principled Salespeople are effective because they identify the right things to do. It’s why they often work fewer hours than the average performers.

    The cartoonist, Doug Larson, said on time management, “For disappearing acts, it’s hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.” I think we can all empathise with this sentiment. Life is too short to be planning for the sake of it.

    The 8 Myths of Selling Summary

    Winston Churchill said “Out of intense complexities, simplicities emerge.” Selling has become a complicated business. But it doesn’t have to be. Simple is good.

    And that’s why great sales people follow the Single Sales Principle®. By focussing on matching compelling needs with credible solutions that offer perceived value you will succeed in selling. We guarantee it. Follow the 8 myths and you will become frustrated and disillusioned with our wonderful profession.

    Original article written by Mark Blackmore (MD of Lammore)

    For more information on the ‘Single Sales Principle’ sales training programme contact:

    Ben Thompson

    ben.thompson@lammore.com

    [ad_2]

    Source by Ben Charles Thompson

    Views: 0

  • My Husband Left Because He Needs Space – But I Love Him and Want Him to Come Home, What Should I Do?

    [ad_1]

    I recently heard from a wife who was quite lonely and devastated. Last week, her husband had decided that he “needed some space,” and he packed his bags and left the home. He had called a few times during his absence, but he wouldn’t give the wife any specifics about how long he expected to be gone and when (or if) he was coming back. The wife regretted how they had left things. They had argued and she had said some things that she definitely didn’t mean while the husband had said some heartless things to her as well.

    So, she had no idea where she stood or where the marriage was headed. And, even though she was angry at the husband for leaving her and for the things that she said, she knew that she still loved him and she wanted for him to come home as soon as possible. She did not want for this one impulsive event to mean the end of her marriage. But she didn’t know how to change the path that they seemed to be on. And, every time she tried to broach this subject with her husband and express her feelings to him, he became flustered and abruptly ended the conversation.

    So, it was clear to the wife that the topic was, at least for now, off limits. And, this left her confused as what she should do. She worried that if she just dropped the topic and backed off altogether, then her husband might just continue to drift away and not come home. But, she didn’t want to continue to push him further away.

    Actually, from my own experience and research, I believe that there is a happy medium here and a tactic that usually brings about the best outcome for everyone concerned. It would also allow for the wife to keep her self respect intact and to emerge in a position of strength rather than one of weakness.

    Even Though You Want Him Home, Try Not To Come On Too Strongly: Obviously, if the wife had her way, the husband would come home full of love and apologies that very evening. But, it was pretty clear that this wasn’t likely. The husband had been calling less and less and seemed more and more annoyed. Believe it or not, you will usually get better results and a better response from him if you let him come to you rather than pushing yourself onto him when he is not receptive to this.

    When I tell women this they will often respond with something like: “well, if I wait for him to pursue me or to come around, I may be waiting around forever. I can’t risk it. What if the saying ‘out of sight out of mind’ is true? What if I give him this space and he doesn’t ever come back to me?”

    Here’s what you might want to consider. He has already left. You can not turn back time and keep this from happening. But, what you can control is how you react right now. You can control how you present yourself right now and this is likely going to influence his perceptions of what he really wants. And, his perceptions aren’t likely to be good if you push when he’s not receptive or focus on the negative and how miserable you are without him.

    A desperate woman who is nagging, debating, or falling apart is not likely to be perceived as attractive. I don’t mean to be cruel about this, but my conversations with men who visit my blog indicate to me that, unfortunately, this is just the way that it is.

    Presenting Yourself As The Woman That You Know He Really Wants: Many women in this situation tell me that they feel like they are no longer who or what their husband wants. You mustn’t think this way. Here’s what you have likely forgotten. He has already chosen you once. You’ve already proven that you have the attributes that he values the most. He was already so crazy about you that he married you.

    Yes, things have started to go wrong and your life might be off track. But, that doesn’t mean that you can’t fix it. You know what he loves about you. Make sure he sees these things without your having to over reach for them. Wait until he is more receptive and then give him small doses of who you know he loves very much. Always keep things light hearted and allow for him to see the woman that he has been missing.

    Even if you feel frightened, unsure, and insecure, save these emotions for trusted girlfriends and family members because it is so important that you try to keep all of the perceptions as positive as you can right now. Make sure that he thinks you aren’t moping around the house praying for his return. Give the impression that you’re confident that if you can gradually improve things, he will come back willingly because you are meant to be together. If you can pull this off, you’ll often find that he’s becoming more and more receptive to you and to the idea of coming home.

    [ad_2]

    Source by Leslie Cane

    Views: 0