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E-cigarettes are harmful to health
Globally, there are 1.1 billion adult smokers, 60% of them want or intend to quit. Much has been written and said about the potential of electronic nicotine delivery systems (ENDS) such as e-cigarettes to help tobacco users quit. While the evidence is still inconclusive, e-cigarettes are often used along with one or more tobacco products. As this is the practice with many ENDS users, the health effects of two or more products are combined. Governments who want to weigh the potential benefits and risks of e-cigarettes for their population should consider the following:
1. Regarding the potential health effects for which the evidence is mounting, there is insufficient data to understand the full breadth of their impact on health as devices have not been on the market long enough. Especially the long-term effects of using e-cigarettes or being exposed to them are yet unknown.
2. Nevertheless, the evidence is clear that the aerosols of the majority of ENDS contain toxic chemicals, including nicotine and substances that can cause cancer.ENDS on their own are associated with increased risk of cardiovascular diseases and lung disorders and adverse effects on the development of the fetus during pregnancy. ENDS are undoubtedly harmful, should be strictly regulated, and, most importantly, must be kept away from children. Nicotine is highly addictive and found in most e-cigarettes. Both tobacco products and e-cigarettes pose risks to health and the safest approach is not to consume either.
3. It is of particular public health concern that increasingly children and adolescents take up the use of e-cigarettes in some countries. Most ENDS can be manipulated by the user. Some manufacturers also hold patents to remotely manipulate nicotine dosages and toxicant delivery. Furthermore, there is a growing body of evidence in some countries that never-smoker adolescents who use ENDS at least double their chance of starting to smoke cigarettes later in life. Exposing children and adolescents to nicotine can have long-lasting, damaging effects on brain development and lead to nicotine addiction.
WHO continues to monitor the evidence and technological developments and will adapt this statement accordingly.

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https://www.who.int/news-room/detail/05-02-2020-e-cigarettes-are-harmful-to-health

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February 27, 2020
To eliminate cervical cancer in the next 100 years, implementing an effective strategy is critical

Vaccination, screening, treatment and palliative care are the key interventions of WHO’s Draft Global Strategy towards the Elimination of Cervical Cancer as a Public Health Problem,
the fourth most common cancer in women.

On World Cancer Day, new estimates show that this strategy could save more than 62 million girls and women from a cervical cancer death and prevent 74 million cases within the next 100 years – but only if these interventions are used effectively
together.

No single intervention can eliminate cervical cancer

These estimates, published by the WHO Cervical Cancer Elimination Modelling Consortium (CCEMC) in The Lancet, are based on the draft strategy’s targets to achieve a global coverage of 90% vaccination, 70% screening and 90% treatment by 2030.

Impact of HPV vaccination and cervical screening on cervical cancer elimination: a comparative modelling analysis in 78 low-income and lower-middle-income countries

Mortality impact of achieving WHO cervical cancer elimination targets: a comparative modelling analysis in 78 low-income and lower-middle-income countries

Developed by Member States, UN agencies and other partners, the draft global strategy seeks to redress the unequal burden of cervical cancer around the world. Nine in 10 cervical cancer deaths occur in low and lower-middle-income countries, where
women lack access to health services.

As Dr Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, WHO’s Director-General has said, “It doesn’t have to be this way. Cervical cancer
is one of the most preventable and treatable forms of cancer, as long as it is detected early and managed effectively.”

This new analysis compares the impact of vaccination, screening and treatment of cervical pre-cancer lesions as single or combined interventions. Focusing on 78 countries where cervical cancer mortality is highest, the results clearly show that no
single intervention will be sufficient to reduce levels of cervical cancer in the next 100 years to below the elimination target of 4 cases per 100,000 women per year.

Acting immediately on all three fronts is crucial.

90-70-90: a triple intervention by 2030 and beyond

Vaccinating girls against cancer-causing types of human papillomavirus (HPV) before the age of 15 is the foundation for bringing every country’s incidence rate of cervical cancer down to the agreed elimination level.

Right now, however, vaccination is not enough. As a single strategy, vaccination targets would only deliver a 0.1% reduction in cervical cancer mortality by 2030. Scaling up screening and treatment of cervical pre-cancer lesions at the same time would
reduce mortality by more than one third, or 300,000 deaths, in the same period.

The evidence shows that when all adult women are screened for cervical cancer at least twice, at ages 35 and 45, abnormalities are more likely to be detected before they become cancerous. When cancer has developed, screening increases a women’s
likelihood of early and successful treatment, as well as palliative care if recovery is no longer an option.

Meeting these triple-intervention targets would be a major contribution to target 3.4 of the UN Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs), a one-third reduction in premature mortality from non-communicable diseases by 2030.

The future of cervical cancer elimination

WHO’s global strategy towards eliminating cervical cancer aims to set the world on the right track by 2030, but it is just the beginning.

At this pace, global elimination of cervical cancer is not predicted until 2120.

While high HPV vaccination coverage is the primary prevention intervention, ensuring every woman has two cervical screenings in her life would accelerate elimination by 11 – 31 years, depending on the country.

If no action is taken, cervical cancer deaths will rise almost 50% by 2030. Approval of the draft global strategy at the WHO World Health Assembly in 2020, and investment in mechanisms to deliver it, is vital.

As the new World Cancer Report shows, only 18% of countries that currently provide screening for cervical cancer reached the recommended target of more than 70% coverage. An estimated 55% of low-income countries that reported offering
cervical cancer screening generally lack accessible radiotherapy or surgery services.

Elimination of cervical cancer is possible within the lifetime of today’s youngest girls, but the clock starts now and every intervention counts.

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https://www.who.int/news-room/detail/04-02-2020-to-eliminate-cervical-cancer-in-the-next-100-years

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February 27, 2020
Statement on the meeting of the International Health Regulations (2005) Emergency Committee for Ebola virus disease in the Democratic Republic of the Congo on 12 February 2020
The meeting of the Emergency Committee convened by the WHO Director-General under the International Health Regulations (IHR) (2005) to review the current Ebola virus disease (EVD) outbreak in the Democratic Republic of the Congo (DRC) took place on Wednesday, 12 February 2020, from 14:00 to 16:45 Geneva time (CEST).

Proceedings of the meeting

Members and advisors of the Emergency Committee were convened by teleconference.

The Secretariat welcomed the Committee and thanked them for their support. The meeting was turned over to the Chair, Dr Robert Steffen.

Dr Steffen also welcomed the Committee and gave the floor back to the Secretariat.

Representatives of WHO’s legal department and the department of compliance, risk management, and ethics briefed the Committee members on their roles and responsibilities.

Committee members were reminded of their duty of confidentiality and their responsibility to disclose personal, financial, or professional connections that might be seen to constitute a conflict of interest. Each member who was present was surveyed and no conflicts of interest were judged to be relevant to the meeting.

The Chair then reviewed the agenda for the meeting and introduced the presenters.

Presentations were made by representatives of the Ministry of Health of the Democratic Republic of the Congo (DRC), the WHO Secretariat, and the UN Ebola Emergency Response Coordinator.

The current situation in the DRC was reviewed. As of 10 February 2020, there were a total of 3431 cases, of which 3308 were confirmed and 123 were probable. 2253 persons have died (66%). Between 3 and 9 February 2020, three new confirmed cases were reported in Beni Health Zone, North Kivu. These three cases were already registered as contacts and two were under surveillance at the time of detection. More than 2000 contacts are being followed. There has been an increase in the number of security incidents in recent months.

Challenges that remain include: strengthening of community acceptance for full commitment to response measures; protection of personnel at strategic health checkpoints; improvement of infection prevention and control practices in health facilities; strengthening of the local health system; and comprehensive treatment and support for patients in recovery.

The WHO Secretariat gave an overview of the epidemiological situation, which shows an overall encouraging trend in case incidence and geographic spread. It was noted that sustaining this progress depends on the security situation and control of the well-known drivers of transmission, particularly in traditional health facilities, and on continued trust and communication with the community.

A risk communication and community engagement programme has been developed, as has an EVD survivors programme. It is critical to ensure the long-term sustainability of these two initiatives.

The situation in countries neighbouring DRC was reviewed, as was preparedness in nonaffected areas of DRC. An EVD operational readiness standardized approach has been implemented in 9 priority countries. More than 2400 alerts have been investigated, and more than 14,600 health workers have been vaccinated.

The UN Ebola Emergency Response Coordinator gave a brief report on operational support, focused on security challenges and preparations for any resurgence of disease.

Context and Discussion

The Committee noted a great deal of progress in the situation since its last meeting and commended the response, under the leadership of the DRC Ministry of Health and the multisectoral coordination commission established in July 2019. Support provided by WHO, UN agencies, nongovernmental organizations and other partners has also contributed to limiting the spread and impact of this virus in a difficult context. An increase in the number of alerts was attributed to strong and proactive community surveillance.

Conclusions and Advice

It was the unanimous view of the Committee that this event still constitutes a public health emergency of international concern (PHEIC) under the IHR (2005).

The Committee acknowledged the revised risk assessment, which puts the risk now as high at national and regional levels, and low at the global level.

The Committee was concerned that withdrawing the PHEIC now might have adverse consequences for the response efforts through diminishing focus. Additionally, although the primary concern of the Committee is EVD, there are serious ongoing outbreaks of other diseases, including measles and cholera, in DRC. The country continues to need support to combat infectious diseases as well as to strengthen its health system. Further, there remains an urgent need to maintain international solidarity for the response.

The Committee noted the ongoing discussions about the interpretation in the text of the IHR (2005) of the terms international and regional spread, and about creating an intermediate level of response between the binary possibilities of PHEIC or no PHEIC, in a way that does not require reopening negotiations on the Regulations. The Committee supports these discussions, as an intermediate level would be as useful for gradually ending a PHEIC and for signaling the potential for one to be declared.

The Committee provided the following advice to the Director-General for his issuance as revised Temporary Recommendations under the IHR (2005).

For DRC:
- Sustain the political commitment and multisectoral coordination approach to the response.
- Continue to engage and build trust with associations of survivors to facilitate rapid detection of any cases arising from exposure to infected bodily fluids of survivors.
- Continue to strengthen capacity, implementation, and coordination for community awareness and engagement, including a focus on hotspots, preventing resurgence where cases have declined, and to support survivors in their communities.
- Further enhance the acceptance of response measures and address access and security issues by engaging influencers and decision makers for all interventions.
- Strengthen measures to prevent and manage nosocomial infections, including systematic mapping of health facilities, targeting of IPC interventions and sustain support to those facilities through monitoring and supervision, including in private-sector and traditional health facilities.
- Continue cross-border screening and step up monitoring at checkpoints around hotspots and at main roads.
- Continue to implement and share real-time full-genome genetic sequencing of all new confirmed cases.
- Strengthen measures to prevent and manage nosocomial infections, including systematic mapping of health facilities, targeting of IPC interventions and sustain support to those facilities through monitoring and supervision.
- Strengthen preparedness in non-affected provinces of DRC, and more generally strengthen the health system across the country to respond to concurrent health emergencies.
- Continue to implement optimal vaccine strategies that have proven maximum impact on curtailing the outbreak, as recommended by WHO’s Strategic Advisory Group of Experts (SAGE).
For countries at risk:
- At-risk countries should maintain their work with partners to improve their preparedness for detecting and managing imported or locally acquired cases, including the transparent sharing of detailed information on suspect cases, as required by the International Health Regulations (2005), and sharing laboratory samples of suspect cases for confirmatory testing in accordance with WHO norms and guidance.
- Countries should continue to map population movements and sociological patterns that can predict risk of disease spread.
- Risk communications and community engagement, especially at points of entry, should be maintained.
For all countries:
- As recommended previously, no country should close its borders or place any restrictions on travel and trade.
- The Committee does not consider entry screening at airports or other ports of entry outside the region to be necessary.
The Committee emphasized the importance of continued support by WHO and other national and international partners towards the effective implementation and monitoring of these recommendations.

Based on this advice, the reports made by the affected State Party, and the currently available information, the Director-General accepted the Committee’s assessment and on 12 February 2020 maintained the Ebola outbreak in the Democratic Republic of the Congo as a Public Health Emergency of International Concern (PHEIC).

The Director-General endorsed the Committee’s advice and issued them as Temporary Recommendations under IHR (2005) to reduce the international spread of Ebola, effective 12 February 2020. The Director-General thanked the Committee Members and Advisors for their advice and requested their reassessment of this situation within two months or earlier if the situation requires.

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https://www.who.int/news-room/detail/12-02-2020-statement-on-the-meeting-of-the-international-health-regulations-(2005)-emergency-committee-for-ebola-virus-disease-in-the-democratic-republic-of-the-congo-on-12-february-2020

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February 27, 2020
WHO and FIND formalize strategic collaboration to drive universal access to essential diagnostics

Geneva, Switzerland – 10 February 2020 – The World Health Organization (WHO) and the Foundation for Innovative New Diagnostics (FIND) announced today that a memorandum of understanding has been signed by the two organizations to formalize a strategic collaboration that will strengthen diagnosis in resource-poor countries by closing major diagnostic gaps at country level and bolstering disease surveillance that will inform public health initiatives and enhance outbreak preparedness and response.

“This collaboration is an inspiring development that will take us a long way towards ensuring access to diagnostics to all who need them,” said Dr Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, Director-General of the World Health Organization. “Global health challenges such as the ongoing novel coronavirus (2019-nCoV) outbreak demonstrates that without these essential elements of health systems, we cannot hope to promote health, keep the world safe, and serve the vulnerable. I look forward to working closely with FIND to determine what countries need and to forge a path to deliver these innovations so that no one is left behind.”

Diagnosis is a driver of patient, financial and health systems impact, and a critical enabler of universal health coverage, but it is also the weakest link in the care cascade. This is especially true in primary healthcare settings in low- and middle-income countries. A unique and unprecedented opportunity exists to expand the role and impact of diagnostics to fully realize their potential to address major health security threats and evolving disease burdens through technological and digital advances.

FIND has been an active partner with WHO since 2008 and a WHO Collaborating Centre since 2014, acting in the areas of laboratory strengthening and diagnostic technology evaluation. This expanded collaboration will put in place the building blocks necessary to enable transformative change in a move toward a country-led diagnostics alliance. Initial workstreams will focus on demand-driven access to essential diagnostics and the development of national Essential Diagnostics Lists, alongside collection of data that assist the scale up of diagnostics to support low- and middle-income countries on their paths to universal health coverage.

“Each and every person has the right to a quality, timely diagnosis,” said Catharina Boehme, CEO of FIND. “Comprehensive diagnostic services underpin functional and efficient health systems not only to manage day-to-day healthcare needs, but also to ensure new disease outbreaks can be spotted and contained quickly. Working closely with WHO as part of a country-led alliance, we will strive to ensure that low- and middle-income countries have what they need to develop their own comprehensive, data-driven diagnostic strategies that enable universal health coverage and empower disease surveillance. Our ambition is that all patients, providers and decision-makers have access to the diagnostic solutions needed for optimal health outcomes.”

The strategic collaboration agreement will initially run for a period of 5 years, until 2025.

# # #

About FIND

FIND is a global non-profit organization that drives innovation in the development and delivery of diagnostics to combat major diseases affecting the world’s poorest populations. Our work bridges R&D to access, overcoming scientific barriers to technology development; generating evidence for regulators and policy-makers; addressing market failures; and enabling accelerated uptake and access to diagnostics in low- and middle-income countries (LMICs). Since 2003, we have been instrumental in the development of 24 new diagnostic tools used in 150 LMICs. Over 50 million FIND-supported products have been provided to our target markets since the start of 2015. A WHO Collaborating Centre, we work with more than 200 academic, industry, governmental, and civil society partners worldwide, on over 70 active projects that cross six priority disease areas. FIND is committed to a future in which diagnostics underpin treatment decisions and provide the foundation for disease surveillance, control and prevention. For more information, please visit www.finddx.org

About WHO

The World Health Organization is the directing and coordinating authority for health within the United Nations system. It is responsible for providing leadership on global health matters, shaping the health research agenda, setting norms and standards, articulating evidence-based policy options, providing technical support to countries and monitoring and assessing health trends. WHO is committed to the enjoyment of the highest attainable standard of health as one of the fundamental rights of every human being without distinction of race, religion, political belief, economic or social condition. WHO’s current global programme of work sets out three interconnected strategic priorities: ensuring healthy lives and well-being for all at all ages; achieving universal health coverage; and addressing health emergencies and promoting healthier populations. These priorities are linked to three ambitious targets, the “triple billion”: one billion more people to benefit from universal health coverage; one billion more people better protected from health emergencies; and one billion more people enjoying better health and well-being.

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https://www.who.int/news-room/detail/10-02-2020-who-and-find-formalize-strategic-collaboration-to-drive-universal-access-to-essential-diagnostics

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February 27, 2020
Unleashing Youth Power:A Decade of Accelerating Actions Towards Zero Female Genital Mutilation

Joint statement by UNFPA Executive Director Dr Natalia Kanem, UNICEF Executive Director Henrietta Fore and UN Women Executive Director Phumzile Mlambo-Ngcuka and WHO Director-General Dr Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus on the occasion of International Day of Zero Tolerance for Female Genital Mutilation

– “When Tabitha was growing up in rural Kenya, most of her 16-year-old peers were subjected to female genital mutilation – a human rights violation that more than 4 million girls worldwide are at risk of this year. Yet Tabitha remains unharmed, thanks to the unwavering support of her parents, who, in spite of enormous social pressure, saved their daughter from the same fate.

“On the International Day of Zero Tolerance for Female Genital Mutilation, we join with Tabitha and young people around the world who are standing up for their rights with urgency and energy. They are engaging their peers, families, communities and governments with a call to end this harmful act of gender-based violence once and for all, as promised by the international community in the 2030 Agenda for Sustainable Development.

“While significant progress in eliminating the practice has been made in the last 30 years, approximately 200 million girls and women alive today have had their genitals mutilated. This can lead to long-term physical, psychological and social consequences.

“Support for the practice is dwindling. Adolescent girls aged 15 to 19 in countries where female genital mutilation is prevalent are less supportive of continuing the practice than are women aged 45 to 49. And in many countries, young girls are at much lower risk of being subjected to female genital mutilation than their mothers and grandmothers were. However, rapid youth population growth in countries where female genital mutilation is prevalent could lead to a significant rise in the number of girls at risk by 2030.

“Today’s young people can play a critical role in ending the practice. Unleashing the power of youth means investing in youth-led movements to champion gender equality, an end to violence against women and girls and the elimination of harmful practices. This requires including young people as partners when designing and implementing national action plans, building relationships with youth-led organizations and networks that work to end female genital mutilation and recognize it as a form of violence against women and girls, empowering young people to lead community campaigns that challenge social norms and myths, and engaging men and boys as allies.

“But this is not a goal young people can achieve alone, nor can it be addressed in isolation from other forms of violence against women and girls or from gender inequality. It also requires strong political leadership and commitment.

“Last year, at the Nairobi Summit on ICPD25, governments, civil society, faith-based organizations and private companies recommitted to ending gender-based violence and harmful practices – such as female genital mutilation – in 10 years, the same timeframe for achieving the Sustainable Development Goals. In March, we mark 25 years since the Beijing Platform for Action, a global commitment to advance women’s rights across 12 critical areas, including the elimination of all harmful practices against girls and women. This year, we will announce the creation of a new Generation Equality to drive further investment and results for gender equality.

“Now is the time to invest, translating the political commitments already made into concrete action. Now is the time to do more and do it better and faster to end the practice once and for all. Now is the time to keep our promise to Tabitha and all girls of reaching zero female genital mutilation by 2030.”

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https://www.who.int/news-room/detail/06-02-2020-unleashing-youth-power-a-decade-of-accelerating-actions-towards-zero-female-genital-mutilation

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February 27, 2020
How long should children play video games?

A new study indicates that playing video games for a limited amount of time each week may provide benefits to children, but too much can be detrimental. The findings are published in the Annals of Neurology.

There’s much debate over the potential benefits and risks of video gaming in children and teens. To provide some clarity, Jesus Pujol, MD, of the Hospital del Mar in Spain, and his colleaguesinvestigated the relationship between weekly video game use and certain cognitive abilities and conduct-related problems.

In their study of 2442 children aged 7 to 11 years, the researchers found that playing video games for one hour per week was associated with better motor skills and higher school achievement scores, but no further benefits were observed in children playing more than two hours each week.

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February 27, 2020
Star power: Togo bets on solar energy for its rural poor

Not so long ago, whenever he wanted to watch a football match or recharge his phone, Ousmane Kantcho had to go “into town”—a 15-kilometre ride by bicycle on poor roads in the savannah.

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February 26, 2020
Air New Zealand tests beds for economy passengers

Air New Zealand on Wednesday announced a proposal to put beds in economy-class, which it claimed could prove a “game changer” for passengers desperate to stretch out on long-haul flights.

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February 26, 2020
How to Write Technically for the Lay Person

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While you are writing a book or for a specific magazine or article site, you must be using flowery language using striking words, long sentences, phrases or idioms. In short, you need all those elements that will make the text more catchy and will hook the readers! However, that is not the case in technical writing, i.e. when you are writing for websites that are services or products based. Built using advanced web development frameworks, they need to be produced with clean and simple content that is conversational to the buyers. Specifically, the web content must be representative of the services and the company. But, why called technical writing? A good content on the websites plays a great part in SEO and content marketing. It helps in getting the backlinks and scale up in position of the websites in the search engines to get more visitors.

So, the next time you are preparing content for a high-end website or online application for your business, keep these tips in mind.

#1 Know your target audience

The first thing you need clear-off in your head is the target audience of your site. Be it a group of businessmen or corporate services clients, they are all layman! So, keep your vocabulary outright simple. Don’t use more of technical words and flowery English to make the content snappy. Instead, keep it outright simple, such that even a kid can understand what you provide from your site.

#2 Show but don’t dictate

Do not dictate or describe everything about your products or services to the visitors in text. Let them discover that gradually as they proceed to different pages. It makes the visitors curious and persuades them to visit more pages of your site in a session. Thus, show them what you provide, but don’t spell it.

#3 Use simple, short sentences and active voice

There is actually no point in over-elaborating technical stuff in the websites. Most visitors are basically skimmers and like to wrap up things quickly. So, try using shorter and simple sentences. And, also use active voice as it’s like you are directly interacting with them.

#4 Be assertive

Do not assume that everyone knows about your company, products or services. They don’t. But, they are coming to your site to know about it. So, write with absolute authority and command.

#5 Avoid the jargon

Your website is for the layman. Not only for the technically skilled ones! Be sure you are putting information that is also easily understandable by the non-specialists. Even if you need to use complex, technical or niche terms, explain them or hyperlink them to other pages that will give their basic information.

#6 Use text to compliment the images

While you will be putting images at every relevant point or pages on the website, create content that will perfectly compliment them. This will enhance the visuals of the site and make it more captivating for the readers.

These explain web development just do not end with creating a great website or application. But, developers need to have some online content marketing ideas too. They have to know well what exactly can fetch a good amount of visitors to a website, besides making it design-wise attractive.

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Source by Rob Stephen

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February 11, 2020
The Four Horsemen of Marital Apocalypse

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Stop to consider your last fight with your spouse. The exact subject may escape you at the moment. We understand. After a while, the spats – over bills, your job, in-laws or the dishes still in the sink – can all blur together. But contrary to popular belief, it’s not the amount of conflict in your marriage or what you argue about that determines your relationship’s survival rate. to marriage researchers, how a couple fights tends to be the best predicator of whether they’ll end up enjoying their golden years together or battling it out in divorce court. So learning to fight less may not be quite as important as learning to fight fair.

Four Deadly Sins of Marriage

Dr. John Gottman of University of Washington, one of the foremost marriage researchers, claims he can predict with 90 percent accuracy if a couple will divorce. In his storied “love lab,” Gottman studies how couples interact, particularly how they communicate with each other in heated moments. After 30 years of research, he has pinpointed four behaviors that seem to invariably spell disaster in any marriage. He ominously refers to them as “The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.” Every couple needs to be vigilant and ensure none of the four gallop into their marriage and wreak irreversible havoc.

Horseman #1: Criticism

The most common horseman that emerges in long-term relationships is criticism. Frustrations, annoyances and resentment inevitably build up when couples live together – day in and day out. And criticism can be how these emotions manifest in the heat of an argument.

Note that criticism differs from complaining. Criticism focuses on the person. Complaining focuses on the behavior. This may seem like subtle nuance but research shows it is a distinction that makes a significant difference in the long term. For example, this is a critical statement: “You always drive around in circles. You are an awful driver with a terrible sense of direction.” These words are dripping with blame and accusation. They are a personal attack.

Unlike criticism, complaining has more to do with how the other person’s behavior makes you feel. Complaining usually begins with an “I” instead of “you”: “I get so frustrated when you are driving and don’t know where you are going.” See the difference? The second statement is a negative comment about something you wish were otherwise. So though “I” statements can seem awkward, they really help keep the carnage manageable during explosive moments.

Horseman #2: Contempt

You’re an idiot. You can’t do anything right. You make me sick. These contemptuous words have no place in any relationship you value. They are meant to explicitly humiliate or wound. They are toxic and indefensible. Period.

Contempt includes but is not limited to name-calling, hostility and sarcasm. Keep in mind that contempt can also be conveyed non-verbally. An excessively harsh tone or disgusted eye roll can escalate your garden-variety argument into WWIII in the blink of an eye. Avoid contempt in your arguments at all cost. It is the basest, most childish tactic to resort to in a fight. Strive to respect your wife even when you disagree or feel upset with her. Contempt is like a poison. It will single-handedly erode intimacy. It destroys a sense of security and mutual respect. It does real damage because it makes a partner feel belittled and unloved.

Horseman #3: Defensiveness

Criticism+Contempt=Defensiveness. Defensive statements become practically an involuntary reflex in homes where contempt and criticism are regular visitors. It is understandable. After all, who wouldn’t put up their guard in response to an accusatory, belittling spouse? Defensiveness is fundamentally a self-preserving tactic.

As understandable as this response can be, it is still hugely destructive. It builds walls. Rather than allow room for connectedness, the foundation for conflict resolution, it tends to breed emotional distance. Defensiveness blocks healing and forgiveness.

Horseman #4: Stonewalling

Because stonewalling is not explicitly aggressive, couples often underestimate its destructive potential. But it can be just as devastating to a relationship in its passiveness. It is, in effect, giving up. It is withdrawing emotionally. It is essentially closing the door to a resolution.

Stonewallers withdraw partly because they can feel overwhelmed with emotion. They may keep their faces expressionless, avoid eye contact, hold their posture rigid, avoid any signs of listening such as nodding or encouraging sounds. They radiate icy distance and disapproval to their partners.

The Secret to Fighting Fair

Now that you know the four horsemen, make a conscious effort to keep them in the stable before they trample your marriage. One of the best ways to do this is to make “repair attempts” during your next argument. According to Gottman, repair attempts are any words or actions that prevent a conflict from escalating out of control. As simple as it sounds, repair attempts keep a marriage from becoming negative, hostile and distant.

Repair attempts can be as basic as changing the topic, giving a compliment, apologizing or saying, “I’ve been cranky all day, can we start over?” It can be as simple as saying, “Don’t worry, we’ll get through this” or cracking a joke to diffuse tension. Research even shows couples who touch during arguments also tend to show higher relationship satisfaction. Do whatever works for you when conflict rears its ugly head.

Remember, the more entrenched the negative patterns of behavior in your marriage become, the more difficult it becomes to break them. Don’t become a victim of these negative cycles. When two mature people can take ownership and be flexible, they will keep their marriage strong even though they may not always agree. As a Scottish proverb says, “Better bend than break.”

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Source by Grant Langston

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February 10, 2020