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  • To Prevent A Divorce And Save Your Relationship Merely Takes A Willingness To Do So

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    If your relationship is going through a rough patch and it is one of numerous rough spots you may be worried that you are heading for divorce.

    Often divorce can’t be avoided, it will depend on the couple and the circumstance, but there are many times that you can pursue healing your relationship prior to it reaches the point for divorce.

    One error many people make is that they start making promises.

    Even if you believe you are genuine and that you can make some attitude and behavior changes, but do not commit, declarations like these will not save your relationship.

    You do need to go over the issues with your partner though since you can’t simply alter who you are to make them more than satisfied, and you need to be pleased and more than satisfied, too.

    Often there are issues that both of you require to work with to improve the relationship.

    The Idea is to Repair the Relationship Issues

    Telling your partner that you love or admire him/her continuously is not a great idea either, because even if it is true and you do like him, stating it constantly won’t repair any issues.

    Telling him that you like him can be seen as a bit of emotional blackmail – when all else fails to say ‘I love you’ – it doesn’t rather work like that.

    Rather, it’s the holiness within each of you that must be and connect seen as whole that is the miracle remedy for a failing marital relationship.

    The Course in Miracles states, “The holy relationship is a phenomenal teaching accomplishment. In all its aspects, as it begins, develops and becomes accomplished, it represents the reversal of the unholy relationship.”

    When a relationship is in difficulty it can be difficult and you may find yourself a psychological wreck and seem to think that to prevent divorce is impossible.

    Due to the fact that it will just drain him more emotionally, this is another factor why you shouldn’t keep telling him that you love him.

    Telling him that he is sexy or that you love him is something you must save for when you have your relationship back on track.

    Another big mistake when a relationship is in difficulty is to constantly argue, and all it does is add more stress to the relationship, and no one wins these arguments.

    No one Wins Over Arguments

    In a previous discussion I went deeper into the best marriage advice online and does couples therapy really work?

    – Do not start any arguments with your partner and if he begins one then leave.

    – If he would like to go over matters, when he has actually soothed down then ask him.

    – Do not approach the marital relationship like a competitor.

    You are not wanting to prove who is best at relationships and who is to blame for it stopping working, but do approach it like a partnership that you both need to help each other with.

    Sit down with your husband/wife and calmly talk about any problems you have, if your marriage is heading for divorce perhaps discuss how to avoid divorce.

    Don’t argue with him however ask him exactly what he is feeling and how he thinks you can prevent and enhance the marital relationship divorce.

    To save your relationship take his answers into factor to consider along with your own sensations and attempt to work some compromise that will make you both feel better.

    If you handle the problem in a calm and fully grown method, you can between the two of you, and perhaps with marriage counseling, find how to avoid a divorce.

    Even if you believe you are sincere, but he/she is not, and that you can make positive changes, statements of demanding or pleading will only hurt chances for how to fix a failing relationship.

    – Can you stop a divorce after filing?

    It Takes a Readiness to do the Work

    You may, but typically there are issues that both parties need to work with to rather than dealing with a breakup to enhance the relationship.

    Telling him that you enjoy him or that you will do anything for him/her, is something you need to save for when communication and holiness within is found and connected, and you have your relationship back on track.

    When a relationship is in trouble and continuously arguing is happening, the biggest error that needs forgiveness is.

    Do not approach the marital relationship like a competitor to find who is best at relationships and who is to blame, because the ego is in charge then, and you’ll see you both ending the relationship.

    It may be time for leaving the relationship where healing after a breakup is your next phase if you simply can not reconnect and heal within your hearts.

    (I also suggest searching the web for further content that dives into the idea of getting back with your ex, if that may be in the cards, and sure ways to rekindle a relationship.)

    To success in life and love!

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    Source by James Nussbaumer

    Views: 0

  • Basics of Money Management

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    Money plays an important part in our every day lives and making the most of what we have will help us live a life free of financial pressures. By learning some basic rules, you can make life easier for yourself and for those who depend on you. Here are my basic rules.

    Rule one. Don't borrow money for consumable goods. What are consumable goods? They are stuff that lose value over time. Stuff you want but can live without. Examples are electronics, subscriptions to magazines, auto mobiles etc.

    Rule two. Live within your means. In other words, spend less than you make. I know that may sound hard if you are on a tight budget but to just take easy credit when it is available to you is simply inviting financial disaster.

    Rule three. Become financially educated. This can only be done by reading all you can about the various investment options available to you. There is really no excuse for not being kept up to date with all of the financial news because there is so much information on financial matters available on and offline.

    Rule four. Diversify. A mistake that some investors have made in the past is to put all of their eggs in the one basket only to find that the company they invested their money in went bellyup. Prudent investors diversify. That is spread their money around in various companies to minimize their risk.

    Rule five. Keep good company. There are people about who have bad attitudes toward financial planning and money in general and if you spend too much time with these people there attitudes can affect your thinking.

    Rule six. Take responsibility for your own finances. Some people will ask others for advice just so that they have someone to blame if things do not work out for them. A financial advisor will tell you to do this or that but at the end of the day it is your money and you are the one who reaps the rewards when the markets are up or takes a hit when they are down.

    Rule seven. Take a long-term view of your investments. Investing your savings is a long-term game and in order to take advantage of the gains in the markets you have to take a hit sometimes which means not panicking when the markets are going down.

    Rule eight. Keep the big picture in mind. In other words have a target or goal in mind. Are you saving for a house deposit or your retirement?

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    Source by Robert Alan Stewart

    Views: 0

  • What Is an Emotional Catalyst?

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    Tell me that I am not the only person this has happened to. Your spouse or roommate or BF says “l am going to lose some weight” and suddenly you find yourself being hijacked into a diet, “No alcohol from here on out until we lose our weight!” (Our weight? Did you just call me fat?) We are going to work out 5 days a week (we are?) Pilates, Zumba, Yoga, Cardio, Free weights, Circuit training “No, No Sam you have to do 3 sets of 16 reps” (I do? Didn’t you just start working out like 2 days ago and now you’re a trainer?) So what just happened here?: A total lifestyle change that you were never intending to start. (OK well I was intending to start someday, but in my time frame, not because someone else had an emotional catalyst… see below)

    So, somehow you get manipulated to join in, maybe you want to add support to the instigators, maybe they are right! You are Fat! I mean isn’t that what they just said? When they assumed you would be joining in on the whole “Diet thing” sure, sure… they are just concerned about YOU being Healthy that’s why suddenly everyday you hear “Did you go to the Gym today?” Um… No, I sat in the backyard with a pack of Marlborough Reds, a Box of wine and some ho ho’s (wishful thinking)

    Low and Behold I have been to the gym more than usual (not difficult as usual was NEVER) and I will continue… but the truth is.. Being Manipulated to do something as big as Change your lifestyle because your friend or spouse has had a catalyst to change (Emotional catalyst do the trick of causing big Change almost every time) doesn’t set you up for success, your just along for the ride until you excuse your way out, truth hurts! OK my truth hurts. I love using humor to grow, educate or coach – but this would be a waste if you weren’t provided with a little lesson right?

    A catalyst – Easiest definition in this case is ” A person or thing that causes a change http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/catalyst

    Not really a fan of the dictionary version so to understand it better here are some personal and professional examples: http://www.fastcompany.com/magazine/152/next-strategy-passion-provokes-action.html

    Let me share this with you, when you do get a catalyst to change, you need to act on it immediately or it fades… until you get another emotional catalyst. If you decide you want to change something in your life, here is a simple 5 minute step in the right direction: Visualize not only what it will look like, but how it will FEEL once it is changed.

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    Source by Samantha Buckley Hugessen

    Views: 0

  • Why You Need to Express Emotion

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    When I was young I was taught that crying was not good. After all, the message was that if you cry too much, “you’re going to get sick.” Crying, especially in public, definitely was bad news. In short, crying, even when grieving, was considered to be a sign of weakness. If you were going to cry, then do so in private.

    Through the years this and many other natural ways of showing emotion have been stifled by many of the celebrities who always assume a stoic pose when appearing on camera. (I always remember the death of President Kennedy and the way Jackie showed little emotion during the funeral and on TV.)

    Many additional beliefs about expressing emotion were looked down upon for years as western culture had adopted the “rugged individualism” view of dealing with life in all its manifestations. Expressing emotion was out and being strong was definitely in. Keeping emotion within is presently the cultural norm.

    However, psychology and the social sciences have shown time and time again the importance of expressing, in some form, what is happening inside; it can actually save your life. If you have been trained by the authority figures in your life to suppress your feelings or if you are unable to cry (much to do with unconscious beliefs instilled early in life) when one might be expected to do so, consider the following.

    1. We are built to vocalize feelings and tell our stories. This is an inherent and normal human response. Its purpose is to relieve the stress of trauma and massive change that occur in every life. There is a basic human need to externalize the pressure and pain that develops within.

    2. What is the alternative when we bottle the anxiety, anger, fear, guilt or pain that is generated by a major loss? The physical self pays a huge price to perform this task. Stress hormones go into overdrive and every cell in the body is affected. I repeat, every cell in the body is heavily stressed. Energy stores are depleted.

    3. A more vicious result of stuffing feelings is that our unconscious and our memory banks keep them forever alive in full force. Consequently, we are easily thrown into deep pain throughout life when something we see in a movie or on a TV show or read in the paper, cues up the terrible feelings and memories we never dealt with.

    So what can you do? The obvious answer is to find a way to tell your story of pain and disappointment. If you don’t have a best friend who is a good long-term listener, (a resource we all need to develop), then seek out a counselor, clergy person, or support group. You also can express feelings through writing, drawing, painting or sculpting. Reach out to God to unload your burden. You may need several avenues of release.

    Give in to the natural inclination to share the pain of loss. There is nothing weak about doing so. It is not merely highly therapeutic, it will lead to insights into your loss and how to cope with it (verbalizing our feelings often leads to new interpretations and thoughts). When appropriate, request your good listener to give you valuable feedback.

    Make every effort to change the pattern of the way you deal with loss and change and encourage your children to be open with you about their feelings. See the process as wisdom seeking and in making wise choices. Let periodic expression, where you plumb the deepest depths of your feelings, become part of your long-term healing process. We all need the nurturance and feeling of community that sharing feelings naturally brings forth.

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    Source by Lou LaGrand

    Views: 0

  • Christian Marriage Help: Five Causes of Weak Marital Boundaries

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    Are you looking for Christian marriage help to enable you to have stronger boundaries? If you have difficulty setting boundaries in your marriage you are probably tolerating more than you should and allowing yourself to be disrespected. Boundaries are simply what you will and won’t do and when communicated to your husband give him feedback on how you want to be treated. Here are five causes of weak marital boundaries:

    You don’t trust your thoughts, feelings, and perceptions. If you don’t trust your thoughts, feelings and perceptions, you will doubt your convictions and decisions. You won’t be able to trust that what you want and need in your marriage is valid and worth taking a stand for. In order to stand in your truth, you have to know your truth (Ephesians 6:14).

    You would rather give in than have conflict. If you run from conflict, boundaries will be hard for you. If you feel like you should keep the peace at all costs, then taking any type of stand in your marriage that will mean an argument will be very hard for you. Romans 12:18 says you should do whatever you can to keep the peace, but that doesn’t mean you have to give up your beliefs or that you can’t speak your truth.

    You think being a good Christian wife means submitting to your husband in everything. If you believe that God wants you to submit to everything your husband asks, then you will believe that you cannot have boundaries that say no to treatment you don’t want. Submission is part of a balanced partnership where the husband loves his wife and considers her needs as important as his own (Ephesians 5:22-33). You can say no to anything that doesn’t feel right or healthy and you are entitled to have boundaries.

    You are waiting for God to change your husband. If you are waiting for God to change your husband, then you are abrogating your responsibility to take stewardship of your own life. God doesn’t force people to change and he expects you to take responsibility for your own life. If you allow your husband to mistreat you, then you will be enabling him to sin.

    You know your husband won’t respect your boundaries anyway. When you know that something is unacceptable to you and you also know that your husband won’t do what you need him to do, it is harder to set your boundary because you are already figuring out if you have the strength to follow through with whatever consequence or action will be needed.

    Boundaries simply say what you are willing to do and not do. Each partner in a marriage has the right to say no. If you have weak boundaries, you have to understand the reasons why they are weak before you can begin to develop strong boundaries.

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    Source by Karla Downing

    Views: 0

  • A Basic Principle of Healing: First, Do No Harm

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    The Greek healer, Hippocrates, set the first standards for medicine in the form of the Hippocratic Oath.

    A basic principle of that oath was

    “First do no harm.”

    This ethic is meant to be the guide for whatever intervention a physician or healer uses to assist a patient to heal because…

    the actual healing itself is done by the body.

    For example, you accidentally cut your finger. You may clean the wound and put an antiseptic on it, followed by a bandaid.

    None of these things actually cause the cut to heal. That work is done by the physical body itself.

    • Cleaning the wound and using an antiseptic remove bodies that may interfere with the physical body’s ability to repair the cut.
    • A bandaid, or bandage, assists by keeping the cut clean, and may hold the two sides of the cut together, thus making it easier for the body to reconnect the tissues as it repairs the wound.

    This is similar to how Energy Healing helps you recover from an illness or an injury.

    In Energy Healing, the facilitator’s (healer’s) primary responsibility is to support the body’s natural healing processes.

    This is done in a number of ways.

    1. Removing energy blocks that may interfere in the healing process.
    2. Supporting the body energetically so that it has the energy it needs to do the repair work.
    3. Communicating clear intentions to the body so it understands the expectations and goals of the person whose body it is.
    4. Assisting the body to let go of energy patterns that are interfering with the healing process, such as trapped emotions, limiting beliefs, and distorted vibrational patterns.

    A healing facilitator communicates with expert energy healers in higher realms who may be able to see or perceive subtle aspects of damage that are outside the third dimensional reality.

    Full recovery may require that those damaged area be repaired as well.

    A well-known example of this type of situation would be a damaged chakra.

    A chakra is a spinning wheel of energy. The most well known chakras are along the spinal column.

    There are also many chakras of varying sizes throughout the physical and other energy bodies. Some chakras are part if the meridian system used in acupuncture and are called “acupuncture points.”

    When a chakra is damaged or functioning improperly, a complete healing outcome may be compromised.

    Each chakra may be a slightly different size, color and complexity, depending on where it is located in the body and the services it performs.

    Chakras are a basic part of the energy anatomy of all conscious beings.

    Humans and animals have chakras, and so do plants.

    Mother Earth has chakras as well.

    Within the physical body of a human or animal, the various organs and glands have chakras specifically designed to keep each one in balance and harmony by providing essential “life force” to that part of the anatomy.

    When my cat Violet was diagnosed with early stage renal (kidney) failure, I discovered that one of her kidneys had a chakra that was misaligned and wasn’t able to function properly as a result.

    By repairing Violet’s kidney chakra with energy healing, I assisted her kidney to function better. Using muscle testing, I was able to increase the energetic ability of the kidney to function by more than 50%.

    This contributed to Violet feeling more comfortable in her body for a longer time than she might have otherwise.

    In all types of energy healing, “First, do no harm” remains an essential ethical principle.

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    Source by Nedda Wittels

    Views: 0

  • Why Choosing an Eye Doctor Is So Important

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    Eye doctors are extremely valuable individuals because they can help you maintain healthy vision throughout the course of your life. Choosing the right eye doctor can mean the difference between healthy vision and poor vision. That is why choosing an optometrist is so important. Your eyes are your windows into the world. If you lose your sight for any reason, that window will be closed permanently. No one ever considers the possibility of going blind. But it often occurs due to sudden eye trauma, old age, or development of certain eye diseases. A good optometrist can help you address these problems quickly and effectively, and already having developed a history with one can be time-critical.

    For individuals who can see relatively well, the consequences of poor eye health might not cross their minds. But just because you see well today doesn’t mean that you will be able to see well tomorrow. Accidents happen all the time and we can lose vision simply as a result of the aging process. Even if you don’t wear glasses or contact lenses, you still need a good eye doctor because everyone should have their eyes checked on a regular basis, regardless of their past medical history. That is why choosing an optometrist is so important. If you or your children start experiencing eye complications or vision problems, you’ll want a reputable eye doctor to take care of them and help you.

    Choosing an optometrist is easy. You can start with the phone book and look up the names of different eye doctors in your area. Or, you can do a search on the Internet. If you have friends or family members who wear glasses, you can talk to them to find out which optometrist they see on a regular basis. If their eye doctor is accepting new patients, then you should be able to get in for an appointment easily. If you don’t have any friends or family members who wear glasses or go to an optometrist, then searching through the phone book or on the Internet is your next best option.

    The Internet can give you a list of optometrists and also show you how far they are from your location. For example, you can search for “eye doctors in Austin, TX” and a list of eye doctors who work in Austin will appear on the computer screen. Then it’s just a matter of scrolling through the names and deciding which optometrists are closest to you. Start with one eye doctor, and make a phone call to see if they have any available appointments. The best way to determine if an optometrist is right for you is to schedule an appointment and see for yourself. If you like the eye doctor during your appointment, then your work is done. But if you don’t like the optometrist (for whatever reason), then you can choose another one off from your list and schedule an appointment with him or her. Choosing an optometrist is a lot like choosing a mechanic – sometimes it takes a few bad ones before you find a good one.

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    Source by Roger Ubik

    Views: 0

  • 6 Tips to Consider When Seeking Rehab for Drug Addiction

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    For most people, drug addiction is a big problem. You feel as if your life is getting out of your control, and you can’t get it back on track. But you can get help to deal with the problem. And with proper treatment, you can recover before long. There are many treatment methods but we suggest that you opt for a drug rehab program. Before you decide on a program, you may want to follow the tips given below.

    1. Find a The Right Program

    The majority of rehab programs are focused on a certain drug category like sedatives or opioids. For effective treatment, you may want to ensure that you join a customized program.

    2. Consider Detoxification Therapy

    Based on the drug you are addicted to, you may have withdrawal symptoms as soon as you stop taking the drug. It happens when your body balances out the negative effects of the drug. You may experience these symptoms for a few hours or weeks. Once you show withdrawal symptoms, you may want to opt for detoxification. This process involves reducing the amount of drug you take or substituting it with another safer drug for a while.

    3. The Costs of Treatment

    Most insurance providers offer a minimum of partial coverage for the rehabilitation treatment. In addition, some employers also offer treatments methods for psychological conditions including drug addictions. So, you may want to find out more about your options so you can cover the cost without spending an arm and a leg.

    4. Treatment Options

    The majority of drug rehab centers offer a combo of different treatment methods rather than focus on just one type of treatment. They come up with a treatment plan that may best fit your needs. Often, the treatment plan involves two treatments: behavioral therapy and medication therapy.

    5. The Treatment Period

    According to some people, the treatment won’t take more than a month for complete recovery. However, the treatment may take a long longer before you get fully recovered. According to NIDA, the complete recovery may take up to 90 days. Therefore, the treatment plan should be given some time. You may have to bear patience.

    6. The first stage

    Lastly, you may want to keep in mind that addiction recovery is a kind of lifelong process. And the first stage of this process is rehabilitation. So, you may not want to expect your addiction to be fully cured at the end of the treatment program.

    Instead, you should go to the treatment center with a mindset that the addiction will go away gradually. And during this time, you will be able to find out how you can live a life that is free of addition and much more productive. Once the treatment is completed, you can go back to your normal life with the help of the skills and knowledge you gained during the treatment at the rehab center.

    So, if you have been thinking of considering an addiction treatment center for your drug addiction, we suggest that you follow the tips given in this article.

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    Source by Shalini Madhav

    Views: 0

  • Become the Network Marketing Superstar You Want to Become

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    What is holding you back from becoming the hottest network marketing superstar today? Would you like to change some elements to improve your business and watch it grow? Most people reading this will want to achieve some new changes in their lives and businesses. So, you know that you need changes in your life. At least you recognize that you have weaknesses, but do you know your strengths? Have you written out a list of your strengths and weaknesses. This is a map to discovering your next action steps. Don’t be fooled by doing it half way, be true and write out what you think is a weakness and strength. Only then will you know what areas you can change to become that superstar.

    Building the Network Marketing Superstar from the ground up

    This map has the potential to help you become a stronger person in life and in your network marketing business. You can use it to find tools and educational resources to help you develop the inner winner within. You are a champion already, but don’t you want to take it to the next level? If and when you are serious about making life improvements, try creating the list. Be 100% honest with it and you then you can take the step of faith into making changes to yourself. The hardest part is taking the action step. Most times, people will shy away from jumping into making little changes to certain habits or pursuing their educational needs.

    If you want to make your network marketing business better, you may want to consider taking serious action on your list. There may be small issues that are conflicting with your ability to connect with your audience. You may only need some additional education to overcome a slump. In other cases, some folks may need to take actual “action” and put “effort” into the business. Whatever is causing a conflict with your success needs to be found and dealt with now. If unsure about the issue, dig deeper into your activities and see what has changed and what your trainer has suggested to do. Your trainer can answer your questions and point you to some resources, but if you don’t use them. You won’t grow and become a stronger marketer. If you have a learning disability, you can work with it and find tools to help you understand the material and software better.

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    Source by David L. Feinstein

    Views: 0