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  • Created To Bond – Changes That Heal – Part I

    Created To Bond – Changes That Heal – Part I

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    Since God is a relational being and we were created in His image, we too are relational. We were created as relational beings and it does not matter who we are or what we may possess materially, we still need an emotional connection to other human beings. When we are outside of relationship, we lack the very essence that makes us who we are as a person. One of the most pervasive truths is that close connection with others is fundamental to our existence.

    It has been said that no man is an island. Every person on the earth is related to someone else through family, associations, employment, religion and a myriad of other ways. At our very core we are relational beings and must be connected in some ay to others. In order to survive we draw on the resources of others for things that we do not have within ourselves nor can provide for ourselves without the assistance of someone else.

    If we are to prosper and grow, we need to be connected to God and to one another. This connection fuels our transformation and causes us to blossom and bear fruit. Many times we find ourselves in a state of barrenness because we think that we can survive without other people. It is evidenced in some of our verbal expressions such as, “I can do it on my own; I don’t need you; I don’t need nobody.”

    As this attitude of emotional and spiritual isolation continues serious problems arise because with relationships to others we cannot be ourselves. This lack of relationship and bonding brings about alienation and a sense of emptiness that leads to pain, depression and hatred. Often times we remain in this state not understanding that it is the lack of relationship that is causing the pain and we are not willing to renew relationships in order to alleviate that pain.

    This unwillingness leads to our tying to hold ourselves together not knowing that in order to do so we need the support of those whom we refuse to connect with. Therefore, we find that we remain alone and our world becomes increasingly chaotic. Truly, no man is an island for even an island must be in relationship even if it is with what is not like it (the ocean) otherwise it could not be what it is.

    Developing And Renewing Relationships

    We are born in a state of non-conformity. We move from a warm, safe environment to a harsh and cold one. Often the first thing we feel is pain as the doctor or nurse whacks us on the behind. We are now in a position where we have to depend on fallible people to care for us. Yet, as we grow, time and the relationship that develops with others, specially our mother, help us to begin the bonding process. Many people believe that as children, we automatically love our mother. They have not come to the understanding that the emotional bond between a mother and child is one that develops through the love, closeness and care that the mother provides for the child. As time passes, the child internalizes his mother’s care and comfort that gives him a greater sense of security. It fills his memory storehouse with thousands of loving memories from which to draw in times of loneliness and grief. These memories are also an encouragement to him during his passage through hard times in his life because they leave an indelible impression on him as to his worth. This impression is a means for him to have a sense of being emotionally secure in who he is even though he may be alone. It also helps him to connect with others.

    All sorts of emotional, psychological, and neurological processes begin in a child based on the child’s emotional bond with its mother. As the child develops and is nurtured he develops a sense of security and belonging. This is the mechanism that propels the child out into the world to establish other friendships and helps him to bond as he begins to feel as apart of the group.

    In time, this confidence that emerges from being a part of something bigger than themselves leads to a desire to separate from their home and enter into the adult world where emotional attachment can be formed to fuel and support them for the rest of their lives.

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    Source by Franklyn T. Johnson, Ph.D

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  • New Book Offers Daily Lessons for Developing Entrepreneurial Mindset

    New Book Offers Daily Lessons for Developing Entrepreneurial Mindset

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    In The Entrepreneurial Way, Jacob Busani takes readers on a one-month journey through the world of entrepreneurship. Each chapter is to be read on a different day over the course of thirty days, and each day is devoted to a different topic relevant to being an entrepreneur. The book is intended for the busy person who may only have five or ten minutes a day to read, so each chapter is only a few pages long, but it brings a topic to the forefront of the reader’s mind, offers inspirational quotes to support the topic, and then a series of exercise questions so the reader can take action on that day’s topic.

    The book opens with what may be the most important topic of all: Mindset. Busani begins by quoting Henry Ford’s famous saying, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” Busani says Ford was absolutely right in this statement. If we wish to be entrepreneurs, we must take control of our minds. We have to believe we can be entrepreneurs and we have to learn to be our own bosses.

    Numerous other topics follow. For example, Day 2 is about Vision. In it, Busani describes the importance of communicating to customers why you do what you do so you can bring the best experience to your customers. Day 8: No Guarantees discusses the importance of working because you are passionate about what you do and you believe in your business. Busani reminds entrepreneurs that, especially in the beginning, 80 percent of what they do they will not be paid for, but those who will only do what they get paid for never get rich. If you put in the time to build your business, eventually you will reap the rewards. One of the most important topics is Day 10: Focus. Here, Busani dismisses the myth of multitasking because it destroys focus and also results in tasks taking more time. He instead tells us to focus on one task at a time if we want to make progress on our goals and manage our time properly. Other daily topics include Day 13: Commitment, Day 15: Procrastination, and Day 25: Leadership, where Busani recommends, “Always say, ‘I want my people to win more than I want them to win for me.’ That’s valuable. There’s a lot of ROI (return on investment) in seeing your people succeed. Sometimes, it means having them leave the company to seek their own passions.”

    Some statements like that last one may be surprising, but as a former manager of a call center and as an entrepreneur myself for a dozen years, I completely agree with Busani. The more you support your employees, the happier and more prosperous everyone will be. Therefore, I appreciate that throughout these pages, Busani offers practical and honest advice, based on experience, that will definitely benefit anyone who embraces it.

    Embracing and applying the material is made easy for readers because each day is followed by a short exercise. The exercises help readers think through what they have learned from that day’s lesson and move forward into taking action to succeed as an entrepreneur. For example Day 20: Finding the Right Mentor asks you to think about in what ways a mentor might help you. Then it asks you to list five mentors in your field and do some research on each of them to see how they might assist you. Day 26: Residual Income asks you to brainstorm ways you could come up with residual income and then outline a plan for doing so. None of the exercises are overly taxing on the brain, but rather, they set the brain to thinking in an entrepreneurial way, and ultimately, the result will be that such thinking will become habitual.

    Finally, each chapter ends with several wonderful inspirational quotes. Yes, Busani quotes famous people like Thomas Jefferson, who said, “I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have” and Mark Twain: “Keep away from small people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you too can become great.” But my two favorite quotes in the book are actually both by Anonymous: “You can’t have a million-dollar dream with a minimum wage work ethic,” and “No matter how busy you are, or how busy you think you are, the work will always be there tomorrow, but your friends might not be.” Yes, work/life balance is also a topic in The Entrepreneurial Way-and one of the most important for entrepreneurs who tend to be workaholics.

    I encourage you to take the journey of The Entrepreneurial Way. Because reading this book and applying its concepts will only take you five or ten minutes per day, your investment will be minimal, but the return on that investment will likely be beyond measure.

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    Source by Tyler Tichelaar

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  • 5 Major Reasons Why Marriages Break

    5 Major Reasons Why Marriages Break

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    Love: Yes, I mean love. I know you are wondering how love could cause a break up. It is believed that love is the basis of marriage. It is love that brings about marriage. You only marry once you realize that you love somebody else just as yourself. You can not marry somebody you hate. Unless is for some other reasons. When the sweet love you once shared turn into bitter, marriage is set to break. How will one live with a person that she / he resents so much. It is impossible, and that is why, most couples choose to separate and go their on ways. Every human being want to be loved. therefore, where there is no love, couples never stay together for long.

    In-laws: What part does in-laws play in your marriage? Well, there is no marriage without in-laws. When couples get married, they automatically get in-laws. Some of these in-laws are the best and some are the worst. One could wonder whether they ever wanted their son / daughter to marry. They interfere with their children's / brother's / sister's marriage a lot. Who is to blame in this case? In most cases, it is the in-laws from the husband's side that bring all these problems. In such cases the blame goes to the man. He should stand up for his wife at all time even if she is wrong. He should not be the one inciting his people against the wife. Am sorry to say this but some husbands have the audacity to bad mouth their wives to their families. Tell me, won't your in-laws hate you when they hear such bad things coming from your own husband? If you allow your family interfere so much in your marriage, then know that with time, your wife will get tired and call it a quit!

    Infidelity: This is the worst of them all. No one desires to be cheated on by the partner.in fact, if discovered by the other party, there is no forgiveness. When a man discovers that his wife is cheating on him, he can do the worst to the man involved with his wife. Women are lenient. On their part, they can forgive their husbands but will never ever love them again. Some women end up choosing to leave the man and even demand for divorce.

    Comparisons: This is a very painful reason for break ups. when a spouse chooses to constantly compare his / her spouse to another, it really hurt much. Even though the one doing it, could be doing it so unknowingly. In some cases, the spouse who does this comparisons, is aware of it and usually do it purposefully to hurt the spouse. The targeted spouse may in some cases, try to much up to the party being compared to and if the sacrifice is not noticed, this may lead to a break up.

    Physical, emotional and mental abuse: This is one of the major causes for marriage break ups. One couple could be abusive to the other partner. This could be physical / emotional torture. An abusive spouse is worse than a murderer. The reason is: they usually use intimidation and manipulation to keep the abused partner under control at all time. They are sadist! They never want to see their spouses happy! They beat them up, call them all sort of abusive names and even cause the other partner feel useless and unworthy. With such, the marriage will definitely break up especially when the abused get tired of constantly being abused.

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    Source by Leah Simiyu Mbatha

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  • Finding a Suitable Doctor

    Finding a Suitable Doctor

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    It’s an unfortunate fact of life that many people who suffer from painful diseases, such as arthritis, tend to accept that their pain is inevitable, and leave it for as long as possible before seeking medical advice and/or attention.

    This course of action is not to be recommended, as early treatment can certainly help, and of course save the sufferer years of needless pain. It is advisable to take some care when choosing a doctor, however, as not all medical professionals are best qualified to give advice on individual diseases-believe it or not, some of them are still of the opinion that arthritis is a disease that only occurs in the elderly. It is therefore important to find a doctor who has a good knowledge of your disability, and preferably one with a sympathetic ear as well.

    When looking for a suitable doctor, remember that some of them who refer to themselves as specialists aren’t necessarily that, as they don’t have all the credentials to use the word. “U.S. News & World Report” estimated that around 30% of “specialists” were in this category. A doctor who has gone through formal specialty training, and has passed the necessary exams is a “diplomat” or a “board certified” specialist. Others who are so-called specialists might have quite a lot of expertise or experience, but have not met the requirements of the specialty board examiners.

    Of course, you must remember that credentials are not everything. Quite often, you’ll find it helpful if you get a good referral from a friend, or even from someone else in the medical profession. It’s also quite often the case that the most sought after doctors are, naturally, the busiest, the result being that they have less time and, dare I say it, energy, to devote to each individual. It follows that the quality of care that you can expect to receive will be somewhat diminished.

    When you do find a doctor with whom you feel you can have a good relationship, and you’re fairly sure that he can help you, there are some things that you can do yourself to make things easier all round.

    Think beforehand about what you want to tell the doctor. It’s usually better to tell him/her orally, as some of them do not take kindly to seeing a long list of written items. Try not to take too long in explaining your symptoms, but make sure that you are specific. You can also ask questions if there are things that are still puzzling you.

    Being able to communicate properly with your doctor is a great help-if you find that you’re not able to do so, it’s probably time to look around for another one.

    Next!

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    Source by Donnie Graham

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  • My Husband Says He’s Going To Leave Me, And Yet He’s Still In Our Home – Why?

    My Husband Says He’s Going To Leave Me, And Yet He’s Still In Our Home – Why?

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    Often, when a husband announces that he is going to leave, a wife expects him to promptly pack his bags and begin the separation. It’s not that this is what the wife wants to happen. But when someone makes an announcement that is this serious, well, the assumption is that no one would want to drag their feet on this, as once the decision has been made, it’s probably easier to just go ahead and move out.

    However, this isn’t what always happens. Some husbands make this announcement and then they don’t really move out right away. Some are still telling their wives that they are leaving even as they continue to park themselves on the couch and make use of the refrigerator. A wife might say: “I truly don’t get it. Three weeks ago, my husband came home and announced that he is going to leave me. He said that our marriage hasn’t been good for a while now and that he thinks that we should take a break and live apart to see what happens. This isn’t what I want. In my heart, I feel like if he leaves, he might never come back and we might end up divorced. He actually told me that he wanted to leave on a Friday night. I expected him to move out that weekend. Why wait? If you’re going to take the initiative to tell your wife that you are going to leave her, I would think that you would want to leave as soon as possible. That isn’t the case, though. It’s three weeks later and he’s still in our house. He’s still complaining. He’s still saying he’s going to leave and yet he is still here. I’m afraid to ask him why he’s still here because I am afraid that he would take that to mean that I wanted him out. My mom says that he is essentially free loading or that he’s too lazy to find a new place, but that doesn’t make sense, as my husband earns more than I do. Why do men say that they want to leave their wives and then stay at home?”

    I can only speculate, because there are a variety of reasons. I will list some of them below so that you can see if any of them might ring true.

    He May Not Want To Actually Leave And Was Just Trying To Get A Reaction: Sometimes, a husband truly is frustrated with the marriage or the situation, but he doesn’t know how to create change. He may have tried to make a change without success or he’s afraid that you will be resistant or defensive. So he puts the “leaving” out there in the hopes that you will try to stop him or that you will then be open to negotiating change.

    He May Be Trying To Move Out At The Right Time Or In The Right Way: Some husbands do take their time in actually moving out. Many aren’t all that excited about moving from their familiar and comfortable home into a smaller apartment. Others will try to leave their wife in a good place before they physically move out. What I mean by that is that some will complete repairs and necessary maintenance before they leave so that their wife doesn’t have to worry about this.

    He May Be Having Second Thoughts: This is the final suggestion that I will make. We all say things or make decisions out of frustration, only to have second thoughts later. Actually moving out of your home and pursuing a marital separation is a huge step. And it would be completely normal for him to reconsider and then to hesitate to admit this. It’s possible that he’s hoping that this will just blow over or that you will ask him not to leave.

    Deciding Where To Go From Here: Since you can’t know which of the above is true (unless he tells you,) then you have to ask yourself what really matters the most. If you want to save your marriage, then I think you have focus on the fact that at least he’s still there – whatever the reason. It’s so much easier to save your marriage when your husband is physically present. When he moves out, it can be difficult to reconnect and to not have repeated misunderstandings since communication is limited and not always face-to-face. Yes, I know that it is frustrating that he’s sending mixed signals and that this is confusing. But I think that it is better to focus on the fact that he is there rather than questioning him and then potentially forcing him out. If you can use this time to improve things so that he doesn’t follow through and leave, then that’s probably the best option.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

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