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  • The Catcher in the Rye: Mental Health Services and Social Connections for Children

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    The Catcher in the Rye, by J.D. Salinger, was required reading for my tenth grade English class. I remembered it as a story about the struggles of adolescence, the yearning for independence, and the reluctance to let go of youth. My son is now about the same age as I was when I read the book and we are living through his own nudge for independence, which sparked my interest to give the story another read. Before I began, I wondered what my take on the book would be at this point in life having survived adolescence and received training and experience in child development in addition to having a teen in the house. This reading accentuated the unresolved grief, family dysfunction, mental illness, and lack of social connectedness of the main character, Holden Caulfield, and how these difficulties exacerbate the issues experienced during the typical maturational process. As the country still debates gun control laws in the aftermath of Sandy Hook, and as we try to recover from the Boston Marathon bombing, The Catcher in the Rye reminds us about the importance of developing meaningful and genuine connections with our children and the need to address their mental health issues.

    The Catcher in the Rye begins as a flashback story about Holden Caulfield’s experiences leading up to his nervous breakdown prior to Christmas. Holden narrates the story while receiving inpatient psychological treatment on the west coast. The events begin at Pencey Prep in Pennsylvania, where Holden has been expelled due to poor academic performance, and conclude in New York City as Holden attempts to return home. During the course of his journey, Holden attempts to make connections with a number of people however, he fails miserably due to his social ineptitude, lack of appropriate treatment for what may possibly be bipolar disorder, and inability to believe that other people are capable of being genuine. Holden eventually makes it home and connects with his younger sister. By that time he has decompensated to the point that, even though he is no longer experiencing suicidal ideations, he feels disconnected, misunderstood, and alone. Holden decides that he is going to go away, to escape from society and the rejection, the loneliness, and the pain that he feels. However, Holden makes one last trip to see his sister Phoebe before he disappears. Phoebe’s caring, anger, and innocence provide Holden with the connection he is looking for; she is both a peer and dependent to him. Through Phoebe, Holden is able to cling to his childhood and put off making the leap to young adulthood and independence.

    One theme that I was more attuned to during this reading was the unspoken dysfunction of the Caulfield family. Holden frequently compares himself to his younger, deceased brother, whom he describes as brilliant and athletic, as well as his older brother, who has become a successful author. It is suggested that Holden is a challenging child, and somewhat of a disappointment to his parents as he has been unable to live up to their expectations. He has been expelled from at least four preparatory schools due to poor academic performance, he has difficulty socially connecting with others, and he has frequent mood swings. It is possible that Holden’s parents were drained from watching their youngest son battle with leukemia which left them with little strength to effectively deal with Holden’s grief and potential disability. In Holden’s eyes, they appear to have emotionally and physically divested themselves from him. He has little to no emotional family support and what appears to be very little communication with them. Holden is left adrift to navigate this tumultuous time in his life without support, understanding, and treatment. His efforts to reach out and communicate, including failing out of schools and getting into fights, are not understood as cries for help but are seen as personal shortcomings.

    Holden perceives most people as being phony, superficial, and hypercritical. This may in part be due to his social awkwardness, lack of maturity, and feeling of being abandoned by his parents. He is continuously let down by everyone that he reaches out to for help as they either don’t live up to what Holden has built up in his mind, or they try to take advantage of him. Therefore, Holden comes to believe that everyone is phony who doesn’t or is incapable of meeting his preconceived expectations. In addition, Holden clearly experiences moments of mania during the story, which are often followed by feelings of sadness to the point where he does express some suicidal thoughts. It seems that the lack of communication with his parents, the unresolved grief and guilt over the death of his brother, and the inability to effectively and appropriately connect with others result in Holden being unable to interact with others on anything but a superficial level. The exception to this is Phoebe. Her reluctance to let her brother leave provides Holden with the strength to go home and ask for help. However, in the end, Holden continues to suffer from a lack of love and feelings of loneliness. He states, “Don’t ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.” At this point, Holden continues to find it difficult to have genuine, meaningful relationships believing that when you open up to people that they will turn away from you in order to keep the relationship on a superficial level. Holden continues to be plagued by this emotional void and, while there is a hunger for social connectedness, he will continue to experience emptiness and rejection due to his quirkiness.

    For me, reading The Catcher in the Rye in high school highlighted the struggle for independence and Holden’s war on hypocrisy. On this reading, I was able to obtain a better understanding of the tragedy that occurs as a result of Holden’s parents being unable to provide him the emotional support that he needs to overcome his brother’s death and deal with his mental health needs. Holden’s repeated failure to socially connect and develop a meaningful relationship with anyone other than his sister and the lack of treatment for his mental health issues made me think of the recent tragedies in Colorado, Sandy Hook, and Boston. It reinforced the need to take mental health needs and services seriously; just because these conditions are unseen doesn’t mean that they aren’t debilitating. Feeling cared for and connected to others reduces the stress, stigma, and isolation that are associated with these conditions. It made me wonder whether these tragedies could have been avoided if the people involved had received appropriate therapy and treatment. They may have felt connected and accepted, and these tragedies may have been avoided. The message of being accepted and cared for from The Catcher in the Rye continues to be relevant to young people today as we all strive for acceptance.

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    Source by David Pino

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  • Mindset: A Summary

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    Dr. Carol S. Dweck was challenged by her student to write a book on the results of years of their research study. Dr. Carol S. Dweck rose to the occasion and has written this book, “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, and How we can Learn to Fulfill Our Potential” in the hope that it will help the ordinary human being understand that life is what you make it and not what was dealt to you at birth. She has written in simple language giving examples of ordinary real people like herself and her students, artists like Picasso, sportsmen like Michael Jordan, the basketball player and John McEnroe the tennis player, Marina Semyonova the great Russian dance instructor and CEOs of different companies to name a few. In the third paragraph of her introduction she writes, “… you’ll learn how a simple belief about yourself… guides a large part of your life… In fact it permeates every part of your life… ” Thus she draws the reader into the book, making the reader one of her real life examples as the reader finds himself or herself in these examples.

    Dr. Dweck introduces the two types of mindsets, the fixed mindset and the growth mindset in the first section of the book. She writes how she learned from ten year old kids that failure could be turned into a gift if you had the right mindset. By giving them hard puzzles to work on, the kids cultivated their intellectual skills through effort and did not give up. These kids became her role models in her pursuit of whether human qualities are things that can be cultivated or are things curved in stone. Each person has a unique genetic endowment but experience, training, and personal effort take them the rest of the way.

    Dr. Dweck’s twenty years of research has shown that the view you adopt for yourself profoundly affects the way you lead your life. She writes that, if you believe that your qualities and traits are curved in stone and cannot be changed then you have a fixed mindset. And if you believe that cherished qualities and traits can be developed and cultivated then you have a growth mindset.

    Fixed mindset people believe that an individual’s intelligence, quality and traits are a fixed quantity which cannot be increased. If they are doing well in school then they are smarter than the others who are not doing well. If they do well in sports then they have talent dealt them at birth. They spend time to prove that they are better in the qualities dealt to them just to prove they were dealt a healthy dose and that they are not deficient. If something doesn’t work for fixed mindset people they always blame it on something else.

    Growth mindset people work hard to do better always. They do not sit back and see their accomplishments as the final goal. In their minds there is always room for improvement. They have no time to sit and see themselves as the best or better than others. They have no time to sit and think that they have a special talent. They are busy thinking of how they can make it better and what changes they can make if something expected did not go right. To them if something doesn’t go right it’s not failure it is a challenge to find out ways to make it happen.

    In the second section of the book, Dr.Dweck, takes us through her research journey of fixed mindset and a journey of growth mindset through several sets of eyes. Showing how these two mindsets make or break people in their daily lives. In individual sports she gives an example of John McEnroe fixed mindset in tennis. He was a brilliant player who believed on talent not effort and working hard. When he didn’t win he blamed it on something else. Like when he blamed the system for not liking the game any more. He would not take responsibility. Micheal Jordan on the other hand has a growth mindset. If he missed a goal he would go and practice for several hours trying to figure out why he missed it In team sport the author gives an example of Couch John Wooden who was tactically and strategically average but went on to win ten national championships. Coach Wooden a growth mindset, tells us he was good at getting players to fill roles as part of a team. He cared about the feelings of the players. Fixed mindset like Coach Bobby Knight picked players for talent. He was an excellent coach but used the dictator approach to win. The winning were short lived and broke individuals’ characters in the process.

    In corporate companies the author uses General Electric CEO, Jack Welch, as the fixed mindset who managed to humble himself to a growth mindset and as he grew in his mindset the company grew at the same time. Lee Iacocca whose fixed mind set is good to bring the company up to the top in a hurry but then you need to get rid of him before he breaks it. Ford motor company did just that and Lee Iacocca was not happy. Fixed mindsets leaders are more concerned with being heroes and put their ego before the welfare of the company. The author gives example of Enron as a company that broke in the hands fixed mindset high echelon smart people. Enron employed smart people with talent and paid the maximum price of closing the company. Enron is a good example of groupthink where executives get carried away with their brilliance and superiority and make catastrophic decisions.

    In love, these two mindsets can make or break a relationship. In her research, Dr. Dweck, found out that fixed mindsets feel judged and labeled by rejection in a break up. They also chose revenge as a means to get at the person who hurt them. Growth mindsets chose to forgive, learn from it and move on. The author gives Hilary Clinton as an example who forgave her husband and went to canceling in order to save her relationship. Time and effort is needed to cultivate the emotional skills that are needed to keep a relationship.

    Dr. Dweck, ends this third section with the influence that parents’, teachers’ and coaches’ mindsets have on children that are under their care. In her research she found out that children interpret the caregivers words of support and encouragement in a fixed mindset approach. This sets them up for failure. For example, “… You learned that so quickly! You are so smart… ” is interpreted as “… If I don’t learn something quickly, I’m not smart… ” She explains that parents, teachers and coaches should refrain from giving praise that judges their intelligence or talent but praise them for the work that they put in. She goes on to say parents, teachers, and coaches need to give equal time and attention to the children regardless of their initial skills. The children will in turn give all and blossom. The author points out, “… As parents, teachers, and coaches we are entrusted with peoples’ lives. They are our responsibility and our legacy… “

    In the fourth section of the book, Dr. Dweck, embarks on the most gratifying part of her work, watching people change. People are not conscious or aware of their beliefs. Dr Aaron Beck, a psychiatrist, discovered that he could teach them how to work with and change these beliefs. And cognitive therapy, one of the most effective therapies ever developed, was born. Dr Dweck, used workshops to probe the way people of fixed mindsets dealt with information they were receiving. She found that they put a strong evaluation on each piece of information. Something good led to a very strong positive label and something bad led to a very strong negative label. People with growth mindset are also constantly monitoring what’s going on, but their internal monologue is not about judging themselves or others. They are sensitive to positive and negative information, but they are attuned to it’s implications for learning and constructive action. Dr. Dweck also had workshop for students. The workshops require a large staff to deliver the material. So the workshop material was put on interactive computer modules. The teachers guide their classes through the modules, and called it Braintology. These mindset workshops put students in charge of their brain.

    It is interesting to note how a simple characteristic like a mindset affects decision making in a wide spectrum of the population. A student in kindergarten, a CEO in billion dollar company, a surgeon at work in a hospital, a sportsman at practice and on the court, a chef at a high end hotel, selection of dance students and a sport team. College students drop classes or drop out of school due to having a fixed mindset. A growth mindset helps you learn to deal with anger, and deal with stereotypes in racial and gender discrimination. It’s quite fascinating.

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    Source by Nancy Maina

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  • The Writer As A Marketer

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    Should aspiring or professional writers see themselves as marketers? This is a personal question that you alone should answer, not me.

    I am sure you can mention a thousand and one reason people aspire to write. It could be for pleasure, fame, money, education, inform or entertain or whatever.

    So, while one writer may not be interested in making money, but educating the readers, another may want to make all the money on earth. No general rule here.

    I have said it over and over again; a good writer is a wordsmith. It is good to read anything and everything under the sun.

    But, the journey to becoming a good writer comes with practice, practice and more practice. I have said this in my earlier articles.

    Let us look at the writer as a marketer. The business side of writing, if you wish to call it so. Just like me, I am sure you too need extra income. Please, don’t laugh, only smile.

    Yes, you sell yourself, your script, your books, your articles to the entire world as a writer.

    In this modern age, people and nations are looking out for where individuals and nations are searching for specific information, solution, ideas, values, etc.

    So, writers must strive to fill the gap, provide solutions, add values and solve problems using the writing words for their target market or audience.

    I do not know about others, But, I do know as a writer, a journalist that making money comes with real hard work.

    I have abandoned my family for the computers and the internet, researching, reading, browsing and having sleepless nights these days.

    Truth is that my wife and daughter understand. Do they? God knows they do. Ho ho ho ho oh.

    But, am I making money? Good question, but I will answer it, ha ha ha ha ha. Seriously though, writers must begin to look at the business sides of writing, if they have not already done so. I am guilty of this.

    Write, tell the entire world and sell your product over time. Yes there could instance hit where you will make millions in local or foreign currencies selling your books, script, articles, novels, whatever.

    There is no fast rule about this. For some writers, it could take hours, days, weeks, months and years to make a breakthrough.

    The social media is a credible platform for both amateur and professional writers to tell the world about their products, themselves, their passions, knowledge and skills.

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    Source by Emmanuel Udom

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  • Marital Pathfinder 101

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    The issue of marital discovery and fulfillment has been a major discourse in most singles’ forum taking cognizance of the implications of getting it wrong. When God created man, He took him and set him down in the garden and gave him a mandate (Vision): “… to work the ground and keep the garden in order” Gen 2:15 (message bible). He looked at man and said to Himself it’s not good that man should be alone; let’s make for him a help-mate and a companion. Reason being that man was not living his full potential and so needed a help-mate and a companion to relate some things with; God in His mightiness cause man to fall into a deep sleep, created a help-mate for him and presented her to him; “when man woke up, he came in contact with someone he is attracted to (someone of like mind), went close, identify himself with her, appreciate her, stretch out his hand towards her and they both hold hands, move round the garden and tend it properly according to God’s instructions”. (My opinion).

    Taking cue from where it all began- the Garden of Eden, as a single I strongly believe that marital fulfillment is real and everyone is meant to experience it if we can just know what we want and go through the process or stages towards getting what we desire. It takes grace-unmerited favor for good thing to come easily. Let me buttress on Adams experience as follow:

    Woke up: when man woke up… literally in life, when a man is said to have woke up from his sleep, it means he has gotten to the point of realizing that something is missing in his life and so needs attention and until this is done, optimal satisfaction or fulfillment will not be drive. Speaking from marital point of view, it’s where a man realized that for him to gain much ground in life, he will need a help-mate (vision helper) to give him the much needed support to fulfill purpose. By this, I mean the achieving the intangibles- life vision, life assignment. For the ladies, it’s the point where she needs someone with some sense of purpose. It is the point where a man will need to make clear his life vision, mission and set values that will govern his life activities- setting his priority(s) right as he moves on the journey to marital discovery and fulfillment. When this is done, he goes on an ultimate search through praying, fasting, interaction with people and the environment.

    Attraction:… he came in contact with someone he is attracted to (someone of like mind)… Gen 2:23; Esther 2:17. person-300x202The law of attraction states that every man draws to him what flows out of him. When Adam woke up, he came in contact with someone of like mind- someone that speaks and understands his language, sees what he sees, with similar mandate, etc and so got attracted to her because his instinct communicated it to him. As singles (guys and ladies), the law of attraction should not be ignored in our quest for marital fulfillment. A guy or lady, who knows where he/she is going, will deliberately get attracted to only those going in the same direction with him/her. If for any reason, you are attracting to yourself friends you do not wish to have, it means you have to work on what flows out of you- rebrand yourself inside-out. Try to understand your temperament (strength and weakness) and then the temperament of someone that will complement yours. On the other hand, if you are attracting the right people into your life, then you are on the right path to marital fulfillment because these people see what you see, speak and understand your language- success, spiritual intensity, business success, career fulfillment, etc

    Get close and identify with people:… went close, identify with her… law of contact. For one to get what he/she need in life, he will have to take steps forward without necessarily seeing the stair case to step on. As singles (guys and ladies) I don’t think we need to see a vision, have a dream, go on a trance or have an impartation with the full bottle of anointing oil pour on our head for us to go close to people we are attracted to and have an interaction with them. When the first man woke up from his deep sleep, he came in contact with someone he is attracted to (someone of like mind) and so went close and interacted with her. It is at the point of interaction he discovered that they both have so much in common and so he identify with her immediately. Personally, I strongly believe that all relationship with the opposite sex will not end in marriage (life partner); I believe also that if we set our priority(s) right, at the point of interaction with those we are attracted to, we will be able to identify and discover a relationship that will not work for marriage but can work in the area of career, business contact/partner, best of friends, etc. Let’s increase our sensitivity antenna as the Spirit of Truth will help us. When we do, there will be no reason for regretting knowing or coming in contact with anyone; though, we are not perfect or guru in relationship matter but the chances of regret will be very minimal or near to zero.

    Appreciation:… appreciate her… what you appreciate in the life of someone over a period of time will as a matter of fact become your reality (paraphrase- law of appreciation). In as much as the first man identify with the similarities between him and his friend so to speak, he also notice that there are attributes his friend have which he don’t but needed to excel and so appreciated these attributes. Appreciating someone’s strengths and giving strength to ones weakness has a way of building and strengthen relationship and friendship. As singles, it’s impossible to have strength in all facet of life; and so when we see someone doing things in the area of our weakness, we should endeavor to celebrate them and leverage on their strength to fulfill purpose in life.

    Stretch out your hands to get help:… stretch out his hand towards her… the good book says “ask and ye shall receive, seek and ye shall find, knock and the door shall be open unto thee”. At this point, the relationship should be defined. Gen 2:25. As I said, all relationship will not end in marriage; when you interact with people, you will know the areas (Business, career, Spirituality, academics, etc) you will team work to achieve great results in life. When this is defined, the objective of the relationship should be stated and boundaries set. In life, nothing works until someone work it out; relationship doesn’t work out until those involve make it work; it’s a team work affairs and nobody’s commitment should be taken for granted rather it should be appreciated.

    Get bonded:… and they hold hands, move round the garden and tend it properly according to God’s instructions. The book of life says “do two people walk hand in hand if they aren’t going to the same place?” (Message bible). There must be some form of agreement between both parties

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    Source by Emmanuel Chukwuyem Agese

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  • The Healing Synergy of Talk and Touch

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    • Touch allows you to get to the heart of the matter.
    • Talk allows you to understand its meaning.
    • Combining empathic talk with gentle, healing touch is transformational.

    The Rubenfeld Synergy Method (RSM) was developed in the 1970’s by its founder, Ilana Rubenfeld. She began her career as a conductor and gradually began having intense pain in her back and shoulders. This led her on a journey toward personal exploration and self-healing. At that time, she received Alexander Technique sessions which were focused on helping her to re-align her posture and movement. But as she received this gentle touch, her emotions would bubble to the surface and the Alexander Teacher was not trained in how to help her. So she traveled across town in New York City to spend time with a Gestalt Therapist. But in the therapy sessions her emotions were not as easily stirred up. That is what prompted her to begin combining that gentle touch with talk in an effort to integrate the two systems in her body. The result was more than the two separate entities, thus the term “synergy.”

    Rubenfeld Synergists are men and women who arrived at the same realization or “aha” moment in their careers and their lives. They saw Ilana Rubenfeld or another “Synergist” perform the “magic” that occurs during a session. They saw, with their own eyes, the transformation of the client’s experience when receiving this type of listening touch and intentional dialogue. That “aha” moment has brought bodyworkers (massage therapists, chiropractors, Reiki practitioners, nurses, and other practitioners who use touch in their work), psychotherapists (psychologist, social workers, marriage and family therapists, mental health counselors and even psychiatrists who have only used talk when working with clients), housewives, businessmen, attorneys, medical professionals, artists, musicians and others into the healing experience of becoming a certified Rubenfeld Synergist.

    Where can you find a qualified practitioner of this unusual and powerful work? Here are the locations of currently certified synergists and the locations just keep expanding and this work reaches out to hungry clients and curious therapists.

    Certified Synergists In the U.S.

    • Washington
    • Oregon
    • California
    • Arizona
    • Montana
    • Wyoming
    • Colorado
    • New Mexico
    • Minnesota
    • Tennessee
    • Indiana
    • Michigan
    • Ohio
    • Florida
    • Georgia
    • South Carolina
    • North Carolina
    • Virginia
    • West Virginia
    • Washington DC
    • Pennsylvania
    • New York
    • Maryland
    • Delaware
    • New Jersey
    • Connecticut
    • Massachusetts
    • Vermont

    Certified Synergists in Canada

    • British Columbia
    • Alberta
    • Ontario, CA

    Certified Synergists in Europe

    • Wales
    • England
    • Ireland
    • Scotland

    Trainees in Taiwan

    If you are seeking a way to heal your body and your emotional upsets without medication, RSM is a pathway to explore. If you want to help your clients heal from both physical and emotional pain, you can begin to learn this powerful method in just 7 months. Check out the Rubenfeld Synergy Web Site to find a practitioner in your location and check out the Rubenfeld Training Institute Web Site to learn about the upcoming trainings.

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    Source by Erica Goodstone, Ph.D.

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  • Holistic Healing for Digestive Disorders

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    The digestive system is very crucial. It assists the body to absorb required nutrients and eliminate waste products. Any problems affecting it can lead to a lot of discomforts. The National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases estimates that the number of Americans affected by digestive disorders to be 60 to 70 million. Luckily, there are natural, holistic healing remedies that can eliminate these diseases. Digestive disorders include the following.

    Heartburn (acid reflux) is a symptom of Gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD). It occurs when contents from the stomach move back into the esophagus causing irritation.

    Gas is simply the air inside your digestive tract. It enters the gut when you swallow it and when undigested foods in your large intestine are broken down by bacteria to release it. Its symptoms include passing gas, burping, stomach pain and bloating.

    • Gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD) occurs when the contents of your stomach return into the esophagus leading to heartburn. GERD is caused by unexpected relaxation of the lower esophageal sphincter.
    • Diarrhea is characterized by loose, watery stools. It leads to malabsorption and dehydration. Diarrhea can be caused by food allergies and intolerances, infections, problems in the digestive tract and medicine side effects.
    • Inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) is a term used to describe two disorders that lead to inflammation of the gastrointestinal tract. They are ulcerative colitis and Crohn’s disease. They both cause abdominal pain, severe diarrhea, stomach cramps, weight loss, and fatigue.
    • Constipation is characterized by fewer than normal bowel movements (less than three a week) or dry, hard and difficult bowel movements that are painful to pass. Other symptoms of constipation may include bloating and stomach pain.
    • Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) is a condition that occurs in the large intestine (colon). It leads to bloating, abdominal pain, diarrhea, gas, and constipation. It is still not clear what causes IBS.

    Nutritional Response testing is the perfect holistic healing remedy to deal with digestive disorders. This form of treatment is pegged on the concept that the body knows and is able to correct its problems. The technique first analyzes the body to identify the root cause of the disorders after which nutritional support and lifestyle changes are recommended to help the body heal itself. Unlike traditional forms of treatment, it does not attempt to mask the symptoms. Instead, it tackles the underlying cause of the problem.

    Holistic Healing

    The first instinct when we experience pain and physical discomfort is to visit a medical professional to address the disease. This is not wrong, and it’s sometimes the best way to deal with the situation. However, physical pain is usually a manifestation of an underlying greater imbalance. Holistic healing appreciates this fact. Instead of dealing with the physical aspect only, it addresses the mental, emotional and spiritual aspects, too. It is not a quick fix. It is a journey to a more balanced lifestyle.

    The body contains different types of chemicals including neurotransmitters, enzymes, and hormones. Chemical imbalances can lead to many disorders in the body. Some diets can inhibit or stimulate hormone production and neurotransmitters thus leading to chemical imbalances. What appears to work for one individual might not work for another. That is why Nutritional Response Testing is perfect for identifying chemical imbalances. It can be customized to fit each individual’s needs.

    Are you struggling with any disorders? Are you looking for a safe, less invasive and effective treatment to deal with your condition? Nutritional Response testing is one of the best holistic healing remedies. You don’t have to suffer any longer.

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    Source by Dr. Louis Granirer

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  • Jeffrey Archer’s "Old Love" Redefines Love Story

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    The “Old Love” of Jeffrey Archer is a unique amorous tale between two brilliant students of English literature from Oxford. Archer makes an exploration of the theme of love from a completely unusual standpoint. The rendition is fiercely honest while he portrays a chronic sense of envy and rivalry between two sworn arch-rivals in the Oxford University: William Hatchard and Philippa Jameson. Initially, their aggressive competition unsettles their tutor Simon Jakes. In their constant intellectual debates, Philippa confronted the deep, confident voice of William with her high-heeled boldness. The mutual hatred was absolute. Their sharply perceptive and analytical mind refused to be submissive to each other. Indeed, this fierce sense of competition enabled them to outshine everyone else in the field. Given the background of 1930’s she, to him, was “that silly woman” and he “that arrogant man”. Yet strange is the way of destiny that an unusual love story should blossom between the bitterest of academic rivals!

    This rivalry assumed an unpalatable intensity when both excelled as toppers in their final degree exam. The Charles Oldham Shakespeare’s essay writing competition fed fat to this fire of passionate jealousy and became a life and death question for each to defeat the other.There were liberal exchanges of scornful remarks between the two to play each other down. However, things took a dramatic turn when William unwittingly discovered about the death of Philippa’s father (who was a Vicar) from cancer, and also, his secret dream to let his daughter study in Oxford and win the Charles Oldham award. The sight of silent sobbing of his proud and powerful adversary stirred up a sudden feelings of empathy in his guts. He got over his tentative doubts and offered to accompany her to her village for the burial ceremony. They held hand for the first time and discovered the new bond of friendship as they started their journey to her village. They communicated with each other spontaneously while returning to Oxford which bounces Philippa back to her normal competitive spirit. She slowly discovers the growth of her new found intense attraction for William. The latter secretly enjoys this interesting conversion in the Vicar’s daughter.

    The transformation of hatred into love has always been a captivating subject in itself, and Archer makes the situation entertaining with the employment of sparkling wit in their conversation. They make a visit to Stratford and have meals together. But their first date was far from usual: it is a unique blend of warmth and intellectual antagonism! If this instinctive antagonism triggered a strong sense of hatred before, now it drew them closer. In fact, this killer instinct became a delirious source of entertainment for both. Archer makes the reader question if intense hatred could indeed be an expression of hidden attraction?

    Anyway, the situation takes a quirky turn while returning from Stratford. On their way back to Oxford, Phillipa and William had to spend the night in a car as the petrol gauge showed empty. The former obviously did not miss the chance of expressing her doubt about the cerebral power of a person who couldn’t even read a petrol gauge! The day next William gave her the reason why he let the car run out of petrol: He said with a rare sense of humor: “My father told me if I spent the night with a barmaid then I should simply order an extra pint of beer, but if I spent the night with the vicar’s daughter, I would have to marry her.” He came down on his knees and said,” Will you marry me if I win the Charles Oldham?” Philippa answered that “as there is absolutely no fear of that happening I can safely say, yes… ” When William declared his love for her she told him not to show his face in Somerville again if he failed to win Charles Oldham. The readers wonder if the writer reveals Philippa’s secret wish that she could marry himeven at the cost of losing Charles Oldham! Otherwise why would tears come to Philippa’s eyes when a girl informed her that she had won? It was a moment of crisis for her because between the conflicting emotion of ambition and love in her heart, the latter had won and for once the proud girl confessed, “I do love nothing in the world so well as you; is that not strange?”

    However, when she discovered that William was a joint winner, her puckish spirit returned as she said ” I take thee for pity” to which William replied ” I yield upon great persuasion… ” They were locked in a passionate embrace, and after that, they were never apart for more than a few hours. Strangely, their honeymoon in Athens ended up in a heated argument over the relative significance of Doric and Ionic architecture!

    Later in life, this constant battle of wit prevented their romance from dwindling into boredom and banality. Their serious research works and creative activities, though on different fields, kept them deeply connected. After three years, “with well-received D. Phils”, they moved on, in tandem, to college teaching. But their fierce encounters continued and their sharp wit at each other’s expense would flash across the dinner tables at Oxford. However, those who understood their love felt envious of their unique relationship! They were childless yet their life was not tasteless.

    Returning home after the celebration dinner (being declared the Joint Professor), their heated argument over Proust’s monumental work took such an intimidating turn, that a policeman, nearby, asked Philippa “Is everything all right madam?” “No, it is not”, William declared “this woman has been attacking me for over 30 years, and to date the police have done deplorably little to protect me”. Yet, beneath this apparent antagonism, their bond continued to grow stronger with each passing year. Interestingly, their intense love was inseparable from their zealous intellectual antagonism which lent a peculiar aura to their relationship. When Philippa was made the Dame of the British Empire, William referred to her as an “Old Dame” he had to live with now. It is this bitter-sweet flavor of their love which defines their marriage.

    The most irritable habit of Philippa to William was her determination each morning to complete “The Times” crossword before he arrived at the breakfast table. One fine morning in June, William, studying the clue, filled in the eight boxes left incomplete by Philippa. Philippa’s instantly retorted that there was no such word. To the delight of Philippa the word “Whym Wham” could not be found in the shorter Oxford Dictionary. William assured her that the word could be found in OED on his desk, made for scholars like him. William left the breakfast table with sharp comments on Philippa’s limited command of English language and that she will have to eat a humble pie at Somerville’s Gaudy Feast as she reads the collected works of John Skelton…

    William left with a sigh, kissing his wife on her cheek, wishing he had lost Charles Oldham. Philippa replied that he did indeed because it was highly inappropriate during those days to declare a woman as the sole winner! Having closed the front door, as she entered the kitchen, Dame Philippa suddenly suffered her lone heart attack. She called out to William hoarsely but in vain. The news of her death was conveyed and the story ends with a note of dark humor in the suicidal note of Sir William (who shot himself with his pistol): “Forgive me, but I had to let her know”. There was the volume of the work of John Skelton held open in one of his hand with the word “Whym Wham” underlined neatly, his fingers stiff and cold around it. Such weird ending, subtly hints at the essence of special relationship this couple shared so that they rise above the great marriage vow “TILL DEATH DO US PART.” Archer’s love story excels because death could not part Sir William and Dame Philippa! Even while following his wife to her grave, William felt the need to camouflage the inseparable bond they shared, and the insufferable loneliness he would feel without her… he does it with a wry sense of humor!

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    Source by Mandira Mazumder

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  • The Way To Success For You Now With This Easy Abundance Mindset For Living Your Dreams

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    Is success for you in life possible right now? Your life isn't really about being a competitor against others, to be fought on their terms.

    A few separate business owners can be compared for their success in the corporate world, but this doesn't really show us about their entire lives, does it?

    As you read along and ponder this article keep in mind that the Course in Miracles states, "The body's serial adventures, from the time of birth to dying are the theme of every dream the world has ever had."

    If you'll be happier, wealthier and much healthier at some point in the future, does this imply you are a failure now?

    – Success in life is about the process, not about lists of accomplishments.

    – Your individual success remains in the actions of this moment.

    – This may be a genuine originality to you, but does not it make user-friendly sense?

    If you stop working at the specific goals you are presently working on, but the attempt is honest, and you're willing to learn from your mistakes, isn't this personal success?

    The idea might be annoying for some, yet for some others the idea of ​​success being someplace in the future is simply a method to excuse the actions of the moment.

    They can continue "waiting for their ship to come in," and postpone taking the actions they need to take to fulfill themselves.

    They can keep that future in mind – and always press it a little additional forward.

    If you think like this, you may not like the idea that you can have success in life right now, because it reminds you that it is your duty.

    On the other hand, the concept of success being in this instant now can be a very liberating thought.

    Previously I discussed free material on the web such as e-books and more on manifesting your desires and the right tools for getting you to that point.

    Discover your inspiration in the work of the instant you are in now, do it honestly and with acceptance of the requirement to constantly fix course and delight in the journey, and you are successful right now.

    Exactly what do you want out of life, is it to become wealthy?

    Travel the world? Be much healthier?

    Or, is it all of the above?

    Whatever your finest course remains in life is (and this is only for you to choose), when you to begin honestly in that direction, at that precise moment you are being successful as a human being.

    Success in life is distinct and individual.

    External symptoms of success are great – money, things and chances. This internal procedure of courageously choosing the best path again and taking action is what specifies success in life.

    As I 'd said success in life can be different for few, the same for a few, and unbelievably exciting for many who dive into the process.

    Success in life is about how you go about achieving your dreams, setting goals and objectives, and how you live your life while in this world.

    Does purchase to live life to the fullest as a way to create wealth with the abundance mindset make you a successful individual?

    If you believe like this, you might not like the idea that you can be a success right now, since it advises you that it is a duty you owe to yourself.

    (Please note I suggest that you search the internet for further helpful material when looking for a few things you can do to help you succeed in life, and while you do, keep in mind that success in life is unique and personal.)

    To success and happiness in your life!

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    Source by James Nussbaumer

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  • Entrepreneurship and Its Challenges

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    One of the challenges of being an entrepreneur and the reason many dread to venture into it is, “delayed gratification”. The entrepreneur is like a Lone Ranger who is walking through a lonely part. Initially, he’s never noticed. As he’s grinding and working smart towards his goal, people don’t take note of him. He’s laughed at. He’s jeered at. He’s called a fool. But he perseveres with the knowledge that anything good does not come easy. And then somewhere along the line, his efforts begin to yield results. People now begin to take note of him. Those who thought him foolhardy will now come to him to seek his advice. “How did you do it? They will ask. They wish to be like him. But the question is, how many can pay the price that he has had to pay? The life of an entrepreneur is not easy but it pays to be one.

    In your journey of entrepreneurship, focus is key. You need to stay focused in order to keep your desire for success burning.

    Sadly, though, success doesn’t come easy. And because of this reason, a good number of people lose their focus. They lose their focus as long as they are not getting immediate success.

    There is no doubt that today’s successful people have had to face the same pressure to give up on their goals for this same reason.

    To keep staying focused however, you will need to engage in one very important aspect of entrepreneurship. And by that I mean, you need to engage in self -education through studies.

    Whether you are in Network marketing, Direct sales or you are in conventional business, self-development through studies is important for success.

    An average successful person reads at least, sixty books a year. By studying, you learn the skills that will enable you to succeed. You study the experiences of those who have passed through that lonely part before you in order to avoid certain obvious pitfalls. No doubt, you will still experience failures along the way no matter how much you try. But the wealth of knowledge you have garnered from your years of studying and copying successful people will, as a matter of fact, be your guiding principle. It will give you the inner strength to go on and on even when everything seems not to be working for you.

    Be rest assured that to be an entrepreneur in the modern era doesn’t necessarily have to require huge sums of startup capital. The advent of the internet has made it relatively cost-effective.

    Therefore, become an entrepreneur today.

    Stay focused. Act decisively. Seek opportunities. Seek new ideas. Be humble. Learn from your failures. Study people who are successful. Make the most of your time. Above all, cultivate readership attitude for through reading you learn the secrets of success.

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    Source by Sunny Ngene

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