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  • I’m Afraid My Husband Has Moved On And That It’s Too Late To Get Him Back: Insights That Might Help

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    I often hear from wives who want to know when it’s too late to get their husband back. Some tell me that, in their minds, it is too late because their husband has seemed to “move on.” I often hear comments like “We’ve been separated for six months. I think my husband has started seeing someone else. I’m starting to think that this is the end and that it’s too late for us. If someone has moved on, does that mean the end of the marriage?”

    Another example is something like: “My husband keeps telling me that we’re over and that it’s too late to do anything to save this marriage. Yesterday, he told me that he was moving on and that I should do the same thing. But I’m not sure how I can do this when it’s never going to be over for me. What can I do?”

    The common denominator in all of these questions and comments is that what the person asking really wants to know is when is it too late to save your marriage. Do you reach that “too late” point when your spouse tells you they have moved on? Do you have to take their word for it?

    Of course, I can’t definitively answer these questions for anyone because the answer depends on the specific people involved and the situation that they are in. But, I can offer you a perspective from my experiences and observations, which I’ll do in the following article.

    Sometimes, Couples Do Reconcile After One Of Them Has “Moved On”: If there’s anything that I know for sure in this situation, it’s that it is possible for things to change. Feelings change. Perceptions change. Situations change also. Just because someone is proclaiming or insisting something today, this doesn’t mean that they can’t do a complete about face tomorrow.

    I have seen divorced couples reconcile. I’ve seen couples who have been remarried to other people (sometimes for decent periods of time) decide to get back together. This doesn’t happen in every case, of course. But it most certainly can happen. Sometimes, there’s a change in circumstances which bring about a change of feelings. Other times, it happens spontaneously. But, much of the time, it’s part of a master plan meant to bring about small, gradual, and yet dramatic changes.

    Why Hanging On Too Tightly Can Sometimes Backfire: Wives in this situation often tell me that they just can not accept that it’s over or that he has moved on. I do understand this as I was in these shoes and I know how frustrating and painful this whole process can be. However, I can also tell you that I hear from husbands in this situation too and it’s my experience and opinion that clinging too tightly or “refusing” to accept what he’s telling you will often make him feel less loving or receptive toward you rather than more so.

    I know that it can be difficult to take step back or to pause when you’re so afraid that the second you do, he really will be gone. But sometimes, you just have to ask yourself if clinging so tightly has been working for you. Take a long look to see if your previous methods have really gained you anything.

    Sometimes, if you are honest and can maintain a little distance, you can see that actually, you’ve only been making things worse. It’s really important to ask yourself if the attempts you’ve been making have been bringing him closer to you or improving things or if they’ve been pushing him further away and deteriorating things. If this is the case, sometimes, you come to realize that trying something new isn’t as risky as it may have first appeared.

    Backing Off Or Taking Pause Is Not The Same As your Moving On: I sometimes have wives tell me things like: “maybe he’s moved on, but I will never be able to. I just can’t give up on our marriage or let go no matter what he says.” Another example is: “his moving on doesn’t mean that I have to.” All of these points are valid, but nothing says that you have to broadcast this to him. Because, when you’re asserting that you are absolutely not going to move on, then sometimes he will come to oppose you even more and think that he needs to ratchet up his efforts to change your mind. This of course, makes him move further away from you.

    So, there are times when you are better off just telling yourself that, although you know full well how you feel, you’re no longer going to keep repeating this to him when he already knows it anyway. There’s nothing wrong with appearing to back off when you know all along that your plan is to gain some ground. And, sometimes you need a pause to gain some perspective and calm.

    Taking time for yourself and taking a break from all of the drama can sometimes actually improve the situation. And sometimes, when you are suddenly silent or absent, your husband suddenly becomes interested again. This is what happened in my case, although it wasn’t by design.

    No matter which way you chose to go, it’s my experience that you are almost always better off if you are able to maintain your respect and dignity. You want to portray yourself in the strongest way possible and this often requires you to act “as if” when you just aren’t feeling it or aren’t all that confident. Sometimes, it helps to remember the person your husband loved once upon a time and to show him that person when the opportunity genuinely presents itself.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

    Views: 0

  • How Nootropics Make You A Better Entrepreneur

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    Just imagine a pill you can take to enhance your points of view, increase your memory, and make you more productive. In it sounds like an ultimate life hack, you’re not the only one.

    There are pills that guarantee that out there, yet how they work is a little complicated.

    These pills are known as nootropics or smart drugs.

    So what are nootropics?

    Nootropics are a class of brain power enhancing supplements that are utilized to enhance focus and help to boost memory. Nootropics are regularly used to increase capacity to focus, help people concentrate more and reduce anxiety.

    You will often observe Nootropics called as “smart drugs” as they are connected with increased intelligence, focus and motivation.

    Be they are not at all like brilliant medications which can frequently bring about negative reactions or side effects with long term use. Nootropics are safe to use and pose a low risk of any side effects if used properly.

    Numerous nootropics have similar systems of working by improving communication between neurons in your brain, adjusting neurotransmitter levels or by balancing brain cell health.

    They also improve metabolism of your neurons, support neuroplasticity, or even support the development of new neurons and neurotransmitters.

    How Nootropics work?

    There are various sorts of Nootropic supplements accessible. Also, there are distinctive classifications and “families” of Nootropics, for example, Racetams and Ampakines.

    Each of these particular supplements work in different ways and have different working mechanism. Given this, there is not one answer to the question “How Do Nootropics Work?” rather a wide range of answers.

    There are however some basic ways in which nootropics work and modulate the neutrons in your brain. One of them is listed below

    Together, the neurotransmitters and the receptors make up a “framework.” There are an immense huge number of these neuronal frameworks inside the mind.

    What a Nootropic supplement does, generally, is to explicitly target and increase the proficiency of those frameworks which result in enhanced cognitive abilities.

    How Nootropics will make you a better entrepreneur?

    The initial step for an entrepreneur is to investigate what they are doing battling against. For some (myself included) it is to enhance focus and effectiveness during the working hours was my primary objective.

    Diehard business people working 18-hour days require to last longer during the day and work normally when sleep deprived.

    This is where nootropic role come into play. Below are the benefits of nootropics that will help you to become a better entrepreneur.

    1. Increase concentration

    Before you consider enhancing your memory capacities, you should first increase your concentration. Nootropics can help with that, particularly in case you can’t concentrate on a particular work over a longer period of time. This is a noteworthy issue with entrepreneurs who encounter inconvenience in concentrating for longer hours of work.

    2. Enhances memory

    It is easy to read and comprehend a specific topic but the vast majority discover it somewhat troublesome to recover data from their memory. Nootropics have appeared to have beneficial outcome on a man’s memory.

    It enhances and repairs all parts of your memory capacities, including the working memory and recall. It additionally supports brain cell development and enhances the connections between the neurons. Aside from these advantages, they additionally repair the neuron, which thusly gives a help in comprehension of data information and recalling it.

    3. Improves brain health

    With busy schedule and poor diet, out brain takes a genuine bashing. Nootropics not only enhance your memory and information investigation but also improves the overall health of brain. They increases oxygen stream to the brain and maintains neurons and brain cells which keeps the brainwaves casual and more effective.

    4. Better mood

    The primary reason behind why many individuals can’t concentrate and focus at a specific task is foul mood. A few studies demonstrate that improper eating habits and sleeping habits can affect your mood. Nootropics can boost and stimulate mood enhancing neuroreceptors which makes your mood better and helps you to concentrate more.

    Conclusion

    Being an entrepreneur is not an easy job. You have to think outside the box that will make your business grow. Nootropics can help you to concentrate more and help you make your product awesome. If with a single nootropic you do not see significant results, you can combine different nootropics to see greater results. This is known as nootropic stacks.

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    Source by Ritika Singh

    Views: 0

  • Implementing the Character’s Emotion

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    Now that you’ve made your choices, how do you generate these emotions and make them readable to the audience? And in doing so, does the actor actually feel the emotions or simulate them? These are the questions often asked about portraying the emotion.

    It stands to reason if you want to affect the audience and move them, you, playing a credible character, must feel these emotions. But you must feel them in such a way that they are conveyed to the audience. The degree to which you feel each emotion will depend upon the method used to carry out this feat and your ability to master it.

    Actors involved in what is termed “Method Acting” use the affective memory to generate emotions. Here the actor recalls a specific event in his own life that has produced the required feeling. For example, remembering a fight you had with another student in high school could arouse the emotion of anger. Recalling the death of a close relative might generate the emotion of grief. The actor has to go back, replay the experience leading to the desired emotion, and relive those moments in his mind. Through this method, the required emotion is revived.

    There are some benefits and also some dangers in this type of emotional generation. Usually, emotions derived this way seem real and deeply moving, more so to the actor than the audience. That’s because there is a tendency to internalize these emotions so much that they are not fully evident to the viewer. The method does make producing emotions seemingly easy, but at a price.

    You will find that emotions take time to evolve naturally and resist abrupt changes when deeply seated in ones memories. This is one reason few method actors make it big in comedy. The changes come too quickly and the method actor usually lacks the required emotional agility. Likewise, the method process takes up valuable rehearsal and production time as the crew and cast wait for the actor to call up the right emotion.

    Actors using the method are likely to develop a self-indulgent feel “good” attitude which gravitates towards feelings closest to them and more comfortable for them to generate. The performance then becomes one that portrays the actor’s reality and not that of the character’s. You can see how this may stifle the actor’s imagination and limit the search for emotional truth. The method can likewise put a strain on the actor’s psyche. Using past events, some best left forgotten, can lead to situations where it affects the actor’s mental stability.

    Another danger is that of becoming bored with affected memory when repeated retakes or performances are required. There is also the possibility of being so caught up in past events one does not relate as the character.

    Another way to generate emotions is to rely on our emotional conditioning, the response to the word for each feeling, and the ability of the body to remember the resulting psychical (of the mind) and physical manifestations. This is the most simple way to produce a whole galaxy of emotions with little effort on our part. Through our childhood development, we are conditioned by the meaning of words, especially with regard to feelings. We respond to them without any conscious thought.

    Consider what happens when you are reading a good book or script. You become involved in the story and the characters. You see and feel their imaginary lives. And when you read the action description:

    She looks at his mangled body, then turns away in horror.

    The word itself is the key to what she felt. We don’t have to stop, reflect back on our own life and re-experience some past event. The response is there before we have time to think. The word itself is the signal to release all the information we have on that emotion and to invoke an immediate physical response.

    This response, while different for each person, still has common traits and a behavior that tells others which emotion is being felt. It’s almost a language in itself and a part of our non-verbal communications.

    The answer lies in the fact that in physiological terms, all emotions have similar traits. That is to say, if we were to test the breathing, heart rate, skin temperature, etc., of two people, one feeling rage and the other joy, the “physiological” signs would be similar. Only the face, gestures, and movements would signal which emotion they were actually feeling. But the flush face, the pulse and breathing rate, etc., all signifying the energy behind the emotion, would determine the size of the emotion.

    Through this process we have learned how to reach and find the emotion. But now, we must learn to nurture these feelings, making them big enough for the performance and adapting them to build credible characters.

    As we said before, emotions are feelings large enough to change your life or destroy it. They need to be powerful feelings, but all that you start with is the small sensation that the name of the emotion evokes. How can we make it bigger?

    As the word for the emotion is read, the actor feels a response centered somewhere in his body. For instance, the emotion “fear” might be felt in the stomach. For another actor, it might be in the shoulders and neck. “Suspicion” causes a response around the eyes. “Lust” in the hips or groin. “Desire” could be centered in the lips or eyes.

    For each actor, the physical response will vary. But the important thing is that the actor feels these responses and gains awareness of the physical symptoms in various parts of his body.

    How do we increase this energy level? There is a technique taught by Don Richardson, a well know TV director. It entails having the actor do some physical exercise, such as push-ups, until he’s completely out of breath. Then after a few moments, have him go directly into the scene with his intention and emotion located and his energy level at a peak. The result is astounding for the actor has no choice but to emote fully.

    The next step is to start from a totally relaxed state, retaining the selected intention and emotion, and then adding what one felt at the peak when doing the push-ups. The small emotion is now fired up by a burst of adrenaline flowing through the system as the body recalls the effect of the push-ups. The emotion is thus achieved on a large-scale as the body remembers the intense physiological state attained earlier.

    Now the emotion has to be adapted to create your specific character and make him credible. Credible emotions evolve out of the character’s perception of reality, their past experiences (emotional conditioning), and their struggles as they strive toward their goals. Character traits also play an important role in how emotions are adapted. For instance, is the person you are portraying mainly rational, mainly emotional, or a balance of the two, and as a result, would the feelings be out flowing, repressed, or even denied? Is there a great deal of inner conflict where the emotions hinder the character from attaining his objectives? What is the dynamic range of feelings, deep, shallow, explosive, etc? All these questions entail a good deal of research into creating the emotional side of a credible character.

    To assist you in this regard, I’ve compiled discussions on the various root emotions. These will aid you in adapting emotions to your specific character needs as well as improving your emotional range and awareness.

    The third way is indicating the emotions through mechanical acting. In this approach, the actor imitates the physical responses, mimicking the feelings as displayed by others.

    People often look down on mechanical acting. Yet sometimes, it becomes a necessity, either as a training or rehearsal tool exploring possible expressions and gestures, or when the actor’s capabilities cannot fulfill the complex demands of the scene. Demands such as acting style, blocking, stage business, and/or quick precise attitude and emotional changes. In such situations, producing the proper emotional illusion through a mechanical response will, at least, get the actor through these difficult moments. In addition, the director may specify certain emotional responses to attain his vision of the story, responses that may later be embellished by editing, music, and sound effects.

    In certain types of performances, particularly comedy sketches, parities, certain sit-coms, and stand up comedy, experience with mechanical acting is helpful. This is because the focus is centered on dialogue emphasis, precise timing, and clarity of attitudes. Likewise, exaggerated surface emotions have the potential to change unexpectedly while deeply felt realistic emotions lack this agility.

    This is not to say that the actor can not feel these emotions. In fact, he may feel them strongly, but the expression begins as a duplication of some physical response. Life studies, the observing of real people, nurture such emotional beginnings.

    ROOT EMOTIONS

    Root emotions are active feelings that clearly convey what is felt by the characters. They do not include happiness, sadness, sorrow, loneliness, or nervousness as these are not an emotion, but state of being. The state of being is the result of an emotion. Root emotions, on the other hand, are the cause and have the potential to affect change.

    Certain weak and complex emotions should likewise be avoided. Self-pity is weak in that it plays an effect and is often resented by the audience. Disinterest and boredom are likewise poor choices as there is no active force to motivate the character.

    Love is also a poor choice in that it is a complex emotion made up of many other feelings. Playing the feeling of love immobilizes the character rather than inviting action. A better choice would be to play a definitive emotion such as desire, lust, joy, exhilaration, or exaltation. In an unstable relationship, other emotions such as jealousy, suspicion, bewilderment, guilt, or embarrassment, along with certain other emotions, could be used. By using one single root emotion at a time, subtle shadings within the realm of love can be clarified as well as changes in the intensity.

    The emotions of the characters also plays into the psychological experience of the audience. It might be the voyeurism of spying on the character’s intimate moments. It could also be the vicarious experience of identifying with character’s situation or problems. It could also be the visceral feelings we experience as we watch the scene unfold, emotions moving us and giving us a sense of being entertained. Strong emotional choices and well-portrayed feelings, ones that connect with the viewer, can make for interesting and memorable scenes. They can help create anticipation, arouse curiosity, and hook us enough to be intrigue and involved.

    I’ve divided the most frequently used root emotions into five different categories. Each category is further clarified as to the focus of the emotion as well as the general clarifications.

    ROOT EMOTIONS

    DARK EMOTIONS (Active – Directed at or against someone, something.)

    Rage

    Anger

    Hatred

    Contempt

    Jealousy

    Envy

    SURVIVAL ORIENTED (Reactionary – Selfish – Focus usually on the expected or imagined.)

    Terror

    Horror

    Fear

    Dread

    Despair

    Grief

    Suspicion

    Apprehension

    GOAL ORIENTED (To find, to obtain, to provide – Focus usually on wants.)

    Revenge

    Ambition

    Greed

    Hope

    Desire

    Lust

    Determination

    Compassion

    Curiosity

    EGO ORIENTED (Self evaluation & result – Focus usually on masking or repressing the emotion.)

    Guilt

    Shame

    Indignation

    Intimidation

    Embarrassment

    Resentment

    BRIGHT EMOTIONS (Enjoyable – upbeat – Focus usually on the continued enjoyment.)

    Exaltation

    Joy

    Pride

    Exhilaration

    Wonderment

    Bewilderment

    In review, root emotions motivate you to fight for something, to change your (the character’s) life or destroy him (the character’s dramatic soul). To be a strong sympathetic character, always play the fighter’s side of the emotion, thinking you can win rather than loose. The physical look of one particular emotion will vary depending on the story situation, the characters, and the natural casting chemistry within and between actors.

    To further your knowledge on this subject, explore the physical sensations, sources, forms, and dynamics of the most common root emotions. Observe emotions in life as well as performances. What are the defining characteristics? Such research will also serve as a guide in stretching the clarity, strength, and polarity of your emotional repertoire.

    This chapter has covered the basic skills used in building and implementing dramatic emotions. Use these skills as tools to nurture and release the character’s true feelings, and make them readable to the audience. Most important, create emotions that serve the story, its genre and purpose.

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    Source by Erik Sean McGiven

    Views: 0

  • How to Transition to a Bodybuilding Lifestyle

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    Many of us spend time looking in the mirror, wishing for this or that, but the bottom line is that we as humans strive for improvement. Think about how great it feels to accomplish something big and see yourself rewarded for it. Looking at the mirror thinking about how you can improve your physique can be related. Improving your physique is a lot like improving other areas of your life. You’ll feel very accomplished when seeing results, and in turn, motivating yourself to strive to get better. Many of us want the end result, but in order to get that end results, you have to work for it. You won’t get a bachelor’s, or masters, or PhD by wishing you had one. These are all separate goals or achievements in the education process, just like you may have certain steps or goals for your physique accomplishment. The big problem here is transitioning into a healthy lifestyle or a bodybuilding lifestyle. This article will provide you with a step-by-step process on how you can transition from your current lifestyle, into a bodybuilding lifestyle or at least a lifestyle revolved around fitness and improving your physique.

    Step 1: Desire the change

    The first thing you need to do is to WANT the change in lifestyle. If you aren’t committed towards this lifestyle then it will eat you up. You have to want this. Some people are in unfortunate situations where they NEED it. Let’s hope you aren’t at that point because if you need it, but don’t want the change, that can be a serious problem. If you are serious about the lifestyle and desire the change, then you’ll be a lot more motivated. Motivation is key because increased drive can spell more desired results!

    Step 2: Seek Support

    No matter how much you think you know, there is always more to be learned. Bodybuilders at all stages of the game still always seek support from other people and it’s this support that can really help their physique grow. Thinking you know everything can lead you down the wrong path. Despite my experience as a bodybuilder, I’m always looking for more information or taking advice from competitors and coaches. Information can be a key to success.

    Step 3: Be consistent

    We want results that will last, not temporary results. Being consistent will help you establish results that will stick with you for the rest of your life. Continuing to pursue bodybuilding or a healthy lifestyle will give you just that, a healthy lifestyle. One of the biggest ways to achieve your best physique possible is by constantly putting in the work day in and day out.

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    Source by Michael Caputo

    Views: 0

  • How To Use Cayenne To Cure Bad Breath

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    Bad breath or halitosis is a common cause for worry and embarrassment for many people especially when the condition becomes chronic, meaning the person suffers from it all the time. It makes them very conscious of their surroundings and it may hinder the social life of the person. Those people may want to begin eating more cayenne pepper, as it has been proven to be a simple solution to many bad breath problems. While it will probably not work as a permanent remedy, cayenne pepper has been noted as a possible substance for treating mild cases of halitosis.

    Bad breath may have its origin associated with oral problems (teeth and gum problems), systemic problems (those arising from the respiratory tract, lungs, stomach and digestive tracts) or from illness such as cold, infections in the throat, tonsillitis, etc. It may also be caused due to drying of the mouth (xerostomia) and due to poor oral hygiene.

    If the condition is caused due to systemic problems, it can be reduced by removing or treating the systemic cause. Bad breath due to problems from the stomach is associated with conditions such as gastritis, reflux, heart burn, ulcers, etc.

    Treating such systemic conditions is done with the help of drugs that are prescribed by a physician. In addition to this, there are some herbal cures and some homemade remedies that help alleviate the problem to certain extent. One such option to cure systemic conditions arising from the stomach is Cayenne Pepper. Cayenne and bad breath are polar opposites. The chemicals in this food attack and can break down many of the internal gastrointestinal chemicals which cause bad breath. Again, while it may not work for all people, this is a fast and easy way to prevent bad breath problems from arising in the first place.

    Cayenne, whose scientific names are Capsicum frutescens or Capsicum annuum, is a hot pepper that is derived from capsicum and has an active ingredient called capsaicin. It is regularly used to treat a variety of conditions such as sinusitis, headaches, asthma, diabetes, pneumonia, arthritis, psoriasis, etc. It is helpful in improvement of blood circulation and the removal of toxins from the body. It is also helpful in treating a variety of gastrointestinal problems and aids in improving the digestion.

    This substance is used to combat bad breath both directly and indirectly. The peppers are used directly when the source for bad breath is a dry mouth and indirectly when the cause is an underlying gastrointestinal problem.

    Capsaicin in the pepper is helpful in combating bad breath by improving the flow of saliva and stimulating stomach secretions. In cases of dry mouth, chewing on some peppers of cayenne improves flow of saliva and thus reduces bad breath.

    Cayenne has been recommended in treatment of gastritis, ulcers and in dyspepsia (difficulties in digestion). It is also used to stimulate hunger by taking it in the capsular form before food. It helps in improvement in peristaltic action in the digestive tracts and in repair of the tissues of the stomach. It also helps the body in stimulating the release of hydrochloric acid that is necessary for digestion.

    Combating these gastrointestinal problems helps in indirectly reducing bad breath as these problems are a cause for halitosis. In addition to helping you get more saliva in your mouth, this substance is also helpful in improving the clearance of waste from the system thus reducing intestinal gases that may cause bad breath.

    Cayenne, though a hot pepper, is a helpful ingredient in reducing gastrointestinal problems and is frequently used by many people suffering such problems and associated problems such as bad breath.

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    Source by Richard Wilkins

    Views: 0

  • When Your Husband Leaves You Without Any Warning

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    I often get correspondence from wives who are now living alone but who never saw this coming. Generally, they will come home from work or from running errands one day and find that their husband has left them. Or, the husband will abruptly pack his bags and announce that the marriage is no longer working for him and he thinks that he might “want out.” However this plays out, often the wife will tell me that she had no real warning and that this was very much an abrupt and unwelcome surprise.

    I often hear things like “I can’t believe he left me. I never really saw this coming. I knew we had issues, but every married couple has issues. I just can’t believe that he would leave me without ever trying to work things out. And, I don’t know where to go from here. I don’t want a divorce. I want him to come back home, but I’m so angry that he didn’t try to approach me first that I don’t even know how to approach him. What should I do?”

    The answer to this question is going to depend upon the circumstances and the people involved. But, it will often help to deal directly with the real situation that is in front of you, rather than trying to deal with the situation that you envision or hope exists. I will discuss this more in the following article.

    Don’t Focus Only On The Fact That You Had No Warning When He Left. Focus On What To Do Now And Where To Go From Here: It’s completely normal to be floored by the fact that one morning you woke up with a husband living at home, but by evening you were alone without any warning. This is an abrupt blow that can be devastating. But, because it can be important to act quickly, you will often have to make a conscious decision not to focus on the way in which this happened.

    Yes, your husband could most certainly have handled this in a different and preferable way, but neither of you can change that now. There’s a real risk in allowing your reaction to how he handled this to interfere with how you act toward him in the present. It can really help to ask yourself what your ultimate goal is in this situation. Some women will just want to handle themselves with dignity and grace while coping and moving on in the best way that they know how.

    Others will decide that their primary goal is to get their husband to come back home as quickly as possible. Often, what will help with one of these goals will also help with the other. No matter what you decide that you ultimately want, it’s my experience that you will often have an easier time getting it if you focus on what is right in front of you rather than the manner in which it happened. Yes, being blindsided is very painful and shocking, but it can hurt rather than help the situation to dwell on this rather than taking action.

    Evaluating What Is Going To Most Improve Your Situation: Once you’ve decided where you want to go from here, it’s important to step back and to try to take the emotion out of it to come up with the strategy that is most likely to get you what you want. It’s so easy to lash out, feel resentful, and to feel sorry for yourself. But these things usually won’t get you any closer to what you want. In fact, allowing your feelings to run your actions will often keep you from getting what you want.

    Debating with your husband, arguing with him, or lashing out will often push him even further away and just make you more upset with your situation. It’s usually better, at least in my experience and observation, to try as best as you can to limit yourself to the actions that strengthen you and allow you to feel in control rather than to surrender to those feelings or actions that are natural (and may relieve some tension) but which will only make the situation worse.

    It’s usually when you can somewhat rise above this and handle yourself with strength and calm that you will often begin to gain some ground. I absolutely know that this can be difficult. Sometimes, you might need to wait to interact with your husband until you can actually be calm. This may not be possible in the very beginning. But it can really help to always keep in mind your ultimate goal so that you don’t lose control of your strategy.

    Interacting With Your Husband During This Difficult Situation: It’s probably fair to say that there will come a time when you will need to communicate with your husband about where your marriage is going from here. Whether it’s fair or not, your husband has sent a clear message by leaving. Now, it’s up to you as to how you are going to reply to that message. But, before you do, define how you ultimately want for this to turn out. If you could put aside the shock, the hurt, and the fear, what is your greatest wish right now? The answer to this question is what you must place your focus upon.

    Because I would argue that no matter what your ultimate goal is, you’ll usually get closer to it by trying to interact with him in a positive way. Even if you are ultimately going to end the marriage, this was an important relationship in your life and it will likely help you going forward if you can keep this as positive as you can. If you want to save the marriage, improving your relationship and communications going forward will go a long way toward helping you to eventually save your marriage.

    There is absolutely nothing wrong with telling your husband that although you’re devastated that he would leave you without warning, you would like to interact with him in a positive way going forward. Since the two of you were once the most important people in one another’s lives (and may well still be) it just doesn’t make sense to allow for one negative action to turn into something that is even worse. He may not be all that receptive to this at first, but when he sees that you’re not reacting as he anticipated and are working with him rather than against him, you will sometimes be able to slowly rebuild with time. This is often true even if you are not 100% sure how you want to approach him right now.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

    Views: 0

  • Success With Emotional Intelligence

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    Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage your own emotions and the emotions of other people in positive ways. Today we can clearly see that being only “book smart” and having a high intelligence quotient or IQ does not guarantee a successful, happy and fulfilled life. There are many people in all parts of the world who are very brilliant academically but are inept at dealing with people and successful at work or in their personal relationships. Academic intelligence is not enough on its own to be successful in life. IQ can help you get a job and earn a living, but it does not show you how to live a life. When it comes to happiness and success in life, emotional intelligence helps you build stronger relationships, succeed at work, and achieve your career and personal goals.

    Emotionally intelligent people are able to recognize their own emotional state and the emotional states of others and as a result they connect more easily with people. They therefore communicate better, form stronger relationships, achieve greater success at work, and lead a more fulfilling life. John Gottman was right when he said “In the last decade or so, science has discovered a tremendous amount about the role emotions play in our lives. Researchers have found that even more than IQ, your emotional awareness and abilities to handle feelings will determine your success and happiness in all walks of life, including family relationships.”

    Emotional Intelligence consists of five basic components namely self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy and social skills. The first three competencies are intra-personal and concern your ability to know and manage yourself. Empathy and social skills are inter-personal competencies and concern your ability to interact and get along with others. The better your intra-personal skills, the easier it becomes to express your inter-personal skills. Mastering these skills will allow you to live a better, happier and more successful and fulfilled life.

    Self-awareness is the first component of emotional intelligence. It is the ability to know which emotions you are feeling and why. When you understand your emotions, it is easier for you to acknowledge and control your emotions and prevent your feelings from ruling you. You also become more confident as you do not let your emotions get out of control. Being self-aware also enables you to take an honest look at yourself and better know your strengths and weaknesses, and work on these areas to achieve better outcomes for yourself and others.

    Self-Regulation is the ability to control your emotions and impulses and choose the emotions that you want to experience instead of being the victim of whatever emotions arise. When you are able to manage your emotional state, it becomes easier for you to think before you act and this prevents you from making impulsive and careless decisions. This skill also allows you to transform negative exhausting emotions into more positive and productive ones

    The third component of emotional intelligence is motivation. This is about using your emotions to remain positive, optimistic and persistent rather than negative and pessimistic. When you have a high degree of emotional intelligence you tend to be very motivated, productive and efficient in everything they do. You also use your emotions positively to take the right actions to persist and achieve your goals even in the face of considerable adversity or difficulty.

    Empathy is the fourth element of emotional intelligence. It is the ability to truly recognize and understand the feelings and point of view of people around you. Empathetic people usually possess the ability to listen effectively and accurately to others and are normally excellent at managing relationships, improving communication, building trust and relating to others.

    The fifth component of emotional intelligence is social skills. Emotionally intelligent people have good social skills and are excellent at building and maintaining relationships. When you are highly emotionally intelligent, you no longer focus on your own success first and you always have other’s best interests in mind. You always promote an environment where people cooperate with each other instead of compete with one another and you always help others develop and grow.

    Today emotional intelligence is a key to success in life and the good news is that whatever your actual level of emotional intelligence, you can improve it The best way to develop your emotional skills is through practice. You can then become more efficient at recognizing and managing your emotions as well as the emotions of others and lead a happier, more successful and fulfilled life. Always remember the wise words of Daniel Goleman who said, “What really matters for success, character, happiness and life long achievements is a definite set of emotional skills – your EQ – not just purely cognitive abilities that are measured by conventional IQ tests.”

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    Source by Priya Deelchand

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