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  • A Christian Love That Goes Beyond Words in Marriage

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    If there is anything that stands at the center of Christianity, it is a deep love expressed to humanity by God himself, which is in turn expressed to others by each of us who have chosen to receive that love. And yet, when it comes to many Christian marriages, this necessary expression of love is often replaced by emotional distancing and painful conflict, which leads many of us to ask, “Where’s the breakdown?”

    CRACKS IN THE MARRIAGE FOUNDATION

    The more I work with Christian couples it becomes apparent that this breakdown is tied to cracks in their marital and spiritual foundations. On the marital front, encouragement is replaced by criticism, validation is replaced by defensiveness, and listening is replaced by the need to express one’s own frustrations. Spiritually, it is often the case that these couples have neglected a pursuit of God in their daily lives, and have defaulted to simply doing things their own way relationally. Yet, they also recognize how relevant that pursuit is to them being able to love one another in the manner they desire.

    A MARITAL DEFINITION OF LOVE

    It is hard to overstate how important love is to a married couple having a strong foundation that lasts a lifetime and facilitates an unbreakable sense of intimacy and connection. Yet, how is the type of love we’re discussing defined? Here’s a definition I will often apply when counseling married couples:

    Love is choosing to be other-centered for the benefit of your spouse, so that what is important to them becomes important to you. It is unselfish and without pride, and aims to offer them the forgiveness and grace which you did not deserve, but were given anyway by God in spite of your sin.

    I realize you may be familiar with other definitions of love, however I believe this definition helps bring married couples to the point of being able to see that their Christian faith is more than a simple tradition. It is a lifestyle of discipleship in which commands such as “love your neighbor as yourself” become formative principles calling each of us to rely on the Lord to empower and guide us as we seek to cherish our significant other.

    RECLAIMING OUR PURSUIT OF THE LORD

    I’m absolutely confident that couples who pursue the Lord in their daily lives, and consistently educate themselves by studying His Word so that they can faithfully follow its instruction and wisdom, will utterly reap the benefits in their marriage. The reason is that we ultimately live out what we believe and what we focus on. Therefore, let us focus on these things so that we can experience a Christian love that goes beyond words in our marriages.

    A MARRIAGE THAT STANDS FIRM

    Let me end by encouraging you to never neglect the freedom that we have to pursue God will all our hearts, and to actually know him and his great love, so that your marriage will stand as a clear reflection of the powerful work the Lord is doing within you.

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    Source by Eric Gomez

    Views: 0

  • Your Lifestyle and Hypertension (Part 1)

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    Hypertension is a chronic (long term) medical condition which is characterized by a persistent increase in the blood pressure in our arteries. This is why it is also called High Blood Pressure (HBP). We may have come across it in many literatures being referred to as a silent killer! Yes. It sure is one. Nobody wants to reach the end of the time of life, at least not at an age when much work is still left undone, words left unsaid, and special people left unloved. This is where it gets a little dicey. More than 50% of those with hypertension do not even know that they have it! More like an insecure king wining and dining with a traitor and a lot of times many more traitors as we shall come to realize in prospect.

    Here are some epidemiological facts to serve as an eye opener for us to understand what is really at stake here

    Hypertension is generally of two types. A primary type and of course a secondary type. The primary type is caused by non-specific factors involving one’s lifestyle or genetic predisposition. These factors include but are not limited to smoking, obesity, high salt intake, sedentary lifestyle, depression and it accounts for over 95% of the total hypertensive individuals. The remaining 5% or thereabout have the secondary type of hypertension which is due to or secondary to known pre-existing causes such as chronic kidney disease, hormonal abnormalities, use of birth control pills, pregnancy, coarctation of the largest artery in the body, the aorta and stenosis of one or both renal arteries.

    Fortunately, hypertension is one of those medical conditions which are readily preventable and then proper treatments, preventive techniques and management strategies are well utilized. This means there is virtually one way to know your Hypertensive status. This is in essence but in fact that it is by getting your blood pressure checked frequently. Hypertension if left unchecked, could cause any of the following:

    1. Coronary artery disorder; a diseased of the blood vessels that supplies the heart itself with nutrients and blood

    2. Heart failure

    3. Stroke

    4. Blindness

    5. Chronic Kidney Disease

    6. Peripheral Vascular Disease

    7. Multiorgan Failure

    8. Death

    Why must I examine my lifestyle?

    I would start with those who love salt so much that we even salt our soft drinks, drinking water and bathing water. I would have to bring our minds back to the Ebola virus outbreak in Nigeria some years ago where different sacrilegious ideas came up from nowhere advising people to chew kolanut with salt water and to have their bath with salt water. I hope we know that many people supposedly died of this act than from the disease outbreak itself.

    The normal and most striking attribute of salt in the body system is to pull along with it as much water as it can. Hence, engorging the blood vessels and making them overloaded with fluid. The heart in response to this starts to overwork itself so as to compensate for the unnecessary increase in volume it has to pump per cycle. Before you know what is happening, the heart begins to fail until it eventually gives way to stress.

    Next is smoking. This one is very bad and its medical significance goes beyond hypertension. It is the single most important factor for developing coronary artery disease. Smoking grossly increases the chance of getting down with hypertension in the long run. Its close relative, Alcohol is also a major stakeholder in the world of lifestyle diseases. Hypertension gotten via one of these is not good let alone combining both alcohol and smoking. I can imagine the great wall of Jericho falling flat once more.

    Worthy of mention also is a very common one of which virtually everyone is a culprit. This is exercise. The standard approach about this is that one should have at least 30 minutes of exercise each day for at least 3 days in a week. This is the minimum you are permitted to go. Exercise simply helps your heart to improve in its function and enable it to cope with increased workload barring any case, you might have gotten engaged with much salt or other substance that overloads your blood volume. Also, your heartbeat is increased and blood flows faster. These and many more are the wonderful effects of exercise on your body.

    There is a serious relationship between hypertension and obesity. Obese individuals usually have impaired carbohydrate, protein and lipid metabolisms. As such, they usually have a strong tendency to have Diabetes Mellitus and under-utilized high level of glucose in the blood is just as harmful as salt in the blood. Bad lipids are often times deposited on the walls of their arteries thereby reducing their diameters and restricting the flow of blood in it. This is one of the causes of hypertension in the obese; increased peripheral resistance of the blood vessels.

    Lastly, on this episode of your Health column, it would suffice to say that what we see is what you eat. Much need not be said about this. Eat well, eat smart and eat right!

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    Source by Nelson U Udeme

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  • 70 Romantic Phrases That Make Men Fall Deeper In Love

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    Romantic communication is just one of the proven communication tools you can use to make your man fall madly in love and fulfill your heart’s romantic desires. There is a lot of love-creating power in the romantic words that come out of your mouth. This article will reveals 70 romantic phrases you can start using today to make your man fall madly in

    love. You may not say these things phrased exactly the way I have written them, but if you want your man to be addicted to your love, you must speak to him with words that will melt the walls he has build around his heart.

    Feel free to use any of the romantic phrases that best suit your communication style.

    1. All I care about is being with you forever.

    2. All the gold and diamond in the world are not enough to buy the love I have for you.

    3. God created you for just for me.

    4. I am addicted to your love.

    5. I am crazy about you.

    6. I cannot live without you.

    7. I cannot stop thinking about you.

    8. I did not mean to hurt your feelings.

    9. I do not want to wake up from this wonderful dream with you.

    10. I feel safe when I am with you.

    11. I get lost in ecstasy when you make love to me.

    12. I have finally discovered true love – you.

    13. I love talking to you.

    14. I love the way you make love to me.

    15. I miss your hugs and kisses when we are apart.

    16. I thank God for the day he brought you into my life.

    17. I want to spend forever with you.

    18. I will give anything to be with you.

    19. I will give you my heart, my body, and my soul.

    20. I will go with you to the ends of the world as long as you keep loving me.

    21. I will rather be broke than trade your love for a million dollars.

    22. I will travel a thousand miles to be with you.

    23. I wish God had brought you to me sooner.

    24. If anything happens to you, I will go crazy.

    25. If I could I would make love to you a thousand times.

    26. If I had to live life over again, I would live it with you.

    27. If loving you is a sin, then let me be guilty.

    28. If our love is blind, then I never want it to see the light of day.

    29. Life without you will be like going to sleep and never having sweet dreams.

    30. Loving you feels like heaven.

    31. Loving you has made life even sweeter.

    32. Loving you has made my life so full of joy and happiness.

    33. My heart cries when we are apart.

    34. You are my love, my heart, and my life.

    35. No man has loved me the way you love me.

    36. Nothing will ever stop me from loving you.

    37. Ooh sweetie, you are so good to me.

    38. Your warm hugs and your tender kisses are more precious than gold.

    39. Talking to you is like sipping the most delicious wine – I want it to last forever.

    40. The times we spend together are like precious gems that money cannot buy.

    41. Time stops when you hold me in your arms.

    42. When I am with you, my troubles seem to melt away.

    43. When I look at you I see a man that I find irresistible.

    44. Words are not enough to express how much I love you.

    45. You are my prince.

    46. You are my soul mate.

    47. You are the most important person in my life.

    48. You are the music that makes my heart sing.

    49. You are the only man I ever want in my life.

    50. You are the other half that makes me feel whole.

    51. You are the perfect man for me.

    52. You are the sweetest man I know.

    53. You bring nothing but love, peace, joy, and happiness to my soul.

    54. You bring so much joy and happiness to my life.

    55. You love me gently.

    56. You make me feel like a woman.

    57. You make me feel so good I want to kiss you from your head to your toe.

    58. You make me want you more each day.

    59. You treat me like a princess and I love you with all my heart.

    60. Your are the kindest man I know.

    61. Your caring words touch the deepest part of me.

    62. Your hugs and kisses melt my heart like chocolate ice cream on a warm summer day.

    63. Your kisses are like warm chocolate on a cold winter night.

    64. Your kisses are so good I feel tingles all over.

    65. Your love is like a solid rock that will never break.

    66. Your love is so good I can’t get away even if I wanted to.

    67. Your love warms my heart like the glow of a candle light in a midsummer night’s dream.

    68. Your loving whispers in a moon-lit night are like soothing wine, they put me in the mood.

    69. Your smile is so comforting it makes my tears go away.

    70. Your gentle touch sends chills up and down my spine.

    Life without endearing words is like being in a garden without flowers. Endearing words create a feeling that transcends our reality and makes life worth living.

    Feel free to to share this article with all your friends.

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    Source by Steve Ubah

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  • Entrepreneurship – Benefits Of Taking An Entrepreneurship Course

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    Are you tired of your regular job? Are you thinking of starting a business of your own? Do you want to enhance your ability to create wealth? Do you want to be your own boss? Do you want to have control over your decisions? Are you a risk taker? Do you have a high expectation of yourself? If the answer to the above questions is yes, then all you need to do is to channel your energy in the right direction.

    While passion is important for any business venture, the know-how is equally important for success. Many entrepreneurs who started out very passionate end up losing steam due to the fact that they do not have the proper entrepreneurial skills to make their business succeed. Entrepreneurship education is therefore key to a business growth and success.

    According to research, entrepreneurship education contributed to the growth of firms especially smaller emerging firms. On average, emerging companies that employed entrepreneurship graduates had greater than five times, the sale and employment growth than those that employed non-entrepreneurship graduates. This means that taking an entrepreneurship course would definitely lead to an increased sale of your product or service.

    In addition, it was observed that larger firms paid entrepreneurship graduates significantly more than they paid non-entrepreneurship graduates. In the United States, entrepreneurship graduates working for large firms earned approximately $23,500 more per year than did other business school graduates. This all goes to show the relative importance of an entrepreneurship education.

    So as an individual seeking to start a business venture, taking an entrepreneurship course would benefit you and your business in the following ways:

    • It will enhance your ability to create wealth from your own business
    • It makes you become a champion of innovation.
    • It gives you the ability to create greater opportunities for yourself with advancing technologies
    • It makes you self-sufficient and enterprising
    • It gives you community understanding skills which is good for your business
    • It enhances your business management skills
    • It gives you an orientation to change that can help your business keep up with the ever changing times
    • It gives you a better understanding of the market economy that your business must thrive in
    • The education obtained leads to your ultimate personal growth
    • Your decision making skills are improved
    • It expands your creative thinking

    As a result of these outlined benefits, many experienced leaders, economists and educators believe that fostering a robust entrepreneurial culture will maximize individual and collective economic and social success on a local and global scale.

    TAKE AN ONLINE ENTREPRENEURSHIP COURSE TODAY

    It is interesting to know that you can take this amazing course online. As an entrepreneur, leaving your business to attend a traditional institution of learning might not fit well with your plans. If that is your situation, then be rest assured that you are covered. With the steady growth of online education, a lot of online institution of repute that offer this course are available to choose from. In fact one unique institution stands out – The Swiss E-learning Institute. Apart fro other amazing benefits you are bound to enjoy, this institute also offers entrepreneurship students the opportunity of earning passive incomes just by enrolling and activating this course. Find out more by visiting the link on the resource box below.

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    Source by Kelechi Nwachukwu

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  • Why People Smoke After Sex And Not Before

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    There must be countless scenes in old movies of couples having the celebratory cigarette in bed after sex. In the more subtle days just the smoking scene was enough to imply the unseen steamy activity which had just gone before.

    So why do we see this after sex and not before? The after cigarette implies relaxation, comfort and satisfaction, which is curious because nicotine has nothing to do with these states.

    Imagine the scene with the before romance smoke. Now we have the ashtray mouth, or the smoke enriched hair killing the moment of passion. Maybe the moment of passion would pass, which certainly isn’t a good idea but maybe there is a strongly bio-chemical reason behind it all.

    One cigarette causes a dramatic shut down in your ability to shunt blood to your brain and your genitals for about four hours. This means your nitric oxide levels are about as good as an 80 year old, which translates as a lack of blood and function to your important parts!

    A robust 20 year old may not notice any problem but issues of impotence for men and sexual pleasure for women start to creep in clinically in the mid to late twenties and by the mid-forties studies show that as many as 50% of people either can’t perform or don’t enjoy sex.

    There are a number of issues involved including, alcohol, industrial omega 6 fats, xeno-estrogens from chemicals and soy oils, medications and sleep deprivation, but smoking is virtually guaranteed to create a problem.

    Plus the days of smoking being sexy have long passed and the smell of cigarette smoke would turn off most prospective bed partners.

    So you light a cigarette, and the smoke fills your lungs. Most of the toxins will enter your blood stream and travel through your heart. Those toxins which don’t enter your blood stream just have the sensitive tissue of your lungs to attack.

    From your heart the toxins travel via arteries, to arterioles, and right down to capillaries. The toxins cause these tiny blood pathways to constrict, and it is these small pathways which supply blood to your entire body.

    There is no upside to this restricted circulation, only limited blood flow, nutrient transport and diminished waste removal. So you system starts to look like New York during a garbage strike, instead of a super fast autobahn. And a disturbed system this is certainly not how you want to feel in a tender moment.

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    Source by Ian Newton

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  • The Age of The Information Entrepreneur

    The Age of The Information Entrepreneur

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    This has been changing rapidly, and now, an increasing number of entrepreneurs are starting to use e-books as a method of catapulting themselves into the limelight, using the option to become influencers, and gain a following through sharing of information. The ones who are quite savvy about how they do this, loop the system back and use their e-books as part of a sales funnel, whether it’s apparent or not.

    It used to be the case that the task of writing a book was tantamount to embarking on a long and arduous journey, that required long periods of time, great planning and dedication, an agent, the approval and acceptance of a publishing house, and more. This is no longer the case… Anyone who has wanted to write, can… and you can get your book published and ready to sell in less than 48 hours after it’s written. And no, it doesn’t take a great level of skill or any secret or specialised knowledge… I’ve done it, and have helped others do the same just by following a few simple steps, and using more simple steps have gotten books to #1 ranking spots – for some of them, without even a review to reassure buyers, (though I wouldn’t recommend this). So, if it’s that easy, why isn’t everyone doing it, and why aren’t all entrepreneurs who have published online have booming businesses?

    Well, in the answer lies what’s key… it’s not enough to simply write, what’s important is that you write content that others will find useful, and want to read, and more than that, essential for success is using that content in the right way. Let me expand…

    1) Whatever your entrepreneurial niche, learn what it is that people want to know more about.

    2) Write about this, keep it clear and simple… often short guides will get you further than long, complicated books.

    3) Publishing is easy, get your books on Amazon.

    4) Consider discounts and freebies… remember, it’s about exposure, publicity, and looping people back to you!

    5) Build up a database of everywhere you can promote your books. Take the time to research the social media groups, blogs etc. Ensure that they’re appropriate to your niche.

    6) Take the time to promote your discounts and freebies, and be honest and genuine about what your book delivers, and why people should get it.

    7) In your books, direct people to your website, subscriptions, other books etc.

    8) Always OFFER QUALITY & VALUE, and when you are looping people back to you, it should be to offer more value. Don’t use your books as a hook, only to steer people to an offer that isn’t worth the money or time they part with in exchange for it.

    9) The more quality and value you offer, the more repeat customers you’ll gather.

    10) Include snippets and tasters of your content on social media, blogs, forums etc.

    11) Repeat… remember, if you are choosing to be an influencer through information, you have to keep at it.

    And that’s it, in a nutshell! It is an era when anyone can be an author, so use your knowledge to your advantage!

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    Source by Noleen Mariappen

    Views: 0

  • Conventional, Versus Wellness Approach, To Health

    Conventional, Versus Wellness Approach, To Health

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    What we consider, the conventional approach, to health, in the United States, differs, in many ways, from the way, most of the rest of the world, considers, and approaches, this concept. Many seem to believe, a conventional approach, means, using allopathic medicine, which includes, a primary emphasis on chemically designed, prescriptions, and treatments, while, in most other nations, this approach, includes, both allopathy, as well as alternative remedies, and treatments. Which way, is best for you, depends, on your specific mindset, attitude, overall health, condition, beliefs, etc. With that in mind, this article will attempt to briefly, consider, examine, review, and discuss, the different approaches, and some of the different advantages, and disadvantages.

    1. Conventional approach: The disadvantage of the so – called, conventional approach, is it pays more attention, often, to the symptoms, rather than all the possible causes, etc. It treats ailments, usually, by using a chemical – drug, to reduce and treat the ailment. It is important to recognize, illnesses, and ailments, should be divided into, chronic versus acute ones, and life – threatening, versus, more common illnesses. I strongly believe, there are many acute conditions, which are best treated with drugs, but there are also circumstances, when the side effects, and potential dangers, may make it less logical. Obviously, when the ailment is life – threatening, such as cancers, severe organ issues (such as pneumonia, liver problems, etc), they need immediate, dramatic treatment, while, at other times, it might make more sense, to use, an alternative approach.

    2. Alternative approach: Many use methods, such as Reiki, acupuncture, Ayuverdic, homeopathy, herbal remedies, vitamins and supplements, etc, as an essential part of taking care of their overall health. These often, enhance our immunity, and what we refer to, as resistance. However, one must take care, to do so, in consultation, with a qualified, open – minded, health professional, who is able to use, either approach. Don’t abandon prescribed medications, without thoroughly discussing with your doctor! Know the risks and benefits.

    3. Wellness: An intelligent, seamless, merger of both, conventional, and alternative treatments, is, often, the wisest approach. In most of the rest of the world, non – chemical approaches, are used, before conventional ones, in order to minimize over – use, and dependence, and minimize side – effects, and attempt to enhance our body’s immunity and immune system. This is the essence of a wellness program, where we proceed, and take advantage of any modalities, which might enhance and improve our overall health.

    Beware, you should do your research, and consult qualified, trained health professionals, in order to use the best combination. It’s up to you!

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    Source by Richard Brody

    Views: 0

  • Best Video Marketing Tips You Should Know About

    Best Video Marketing Tips You Should Know About

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    If you’re responsible for marketing a business, you need to get involved with making videos for your company. No two ways about it; video marketing is an effective and evolving tool for marketing that nearly every marketing manager can benefit from. Check out the tips in the following article to get started on your video marketing campaign today.

    Don’t be afraid of complex video marketing strategies. It is simple to make a good video with basic equipment. You can show customers your workplace, manufacturing centre or just discuss your expertise.

    Videos can easily be used to explain your products or services to potential customers. Seeing how a product works will help your customers understand how to use your product and why buying from you is preferable to other sellers. So, learning to make videos to explain what you are selling will easily help build your customer base.

    After you have published your video, include your web address in the video description. You will also want to include several keywords that describe your video in the description. This will help users find your information and search engines effectively rank your video. Your web address can also be included in your video.

    When shooting a video it is okay to keep things simple with your equipment. In most cases, it’s not the technical brilliance of the clip that achieves the desired results. Some of the most basic video marketing has been done by large corporations like Dell or Apple.

    Remember how important a catchy title is to the success of your video. More viewers will be interested in your videos if the titles make sense and attract their attention. This is what makes them more interested in the topic you’re discussing. Take some time to brainstorm titles that are creative if you want your video marketing to be successful.

    If you are thinking of using video marketing to increase your sales and website traffic, then look to your competition for some clues. See what is working for them and try to capitalize off of this information. You do not have to copy them, but see what is working for them and try to make it work for you.

    Don’t only rely on videos in your marketing campaign. They are great marketing tools, however, they should not replace your other marketing tactics. Videos should not replace content creation like article writing or blogging. Videos should simply be used to enhance the content in your marketing campaign and to build up your link portfolio.

    The content you use needs to be interesting. Make your video really pack a punch. Popular video hosting sites such as YouTube can expose you to many potential customers, but there is no way to attract them with boring videos. A lot of people want to watch videos that are relevant. Interesting videos ultimately increase traffic.

    Maybe you aren’t going to be the star of your show, but you do need to find a good spokesperson or mascot to help market your videos. Try to find somebody that is natural when speaking and generally makes people around them feel comfortable. People want to watch somebody they feel that they can trust.

    If you have a product that is quite difficult to use, you should create a video that will give step-by-step directions to users. They will appreciate the time you took to explain your products to them. This will make it more likely they will come to you when looking for additional products.

    Keep in mind that some people surf the Internet using large screen televisions for their monitors. YouTube accepts large video files now. So, do not turn your nose up at high-definition content. Someone looking at your content on a fifty-inch plasma will not buy from you if they just see pixels.

    Make sure each video contains a clear call to action. Inform your viewers of where your products and services are located and insist that they act immediately. Make it easy for your visitors to follow through by making your instructions simple and clear. Specific, bold calls to action are smart ways to conclude your videos.

    Perfection is not your goal! You do not need professional equipment to create quality videos. A webcam or a basic camera will be enough. Also, if you have a cell phone with a video camera on it, you can utilize it for your work. So long as you have solid information and remain professional, people are going to watch your videos.

    Try to let your unique personality come through in your videos. Your audience is predominantly interested in seeing exactly what you have to offer. The more viewers feel that they know you, the more likely they are to develop a relationship with your brand and not with your competitors! Many customers appreciate the chance to link a friendly face to a company and its products and services.

    Don’t think in terms of a single video. Think of an entire series of videos, which can become a marketing campaign. If you create a show which appears every week on a specific topic, for example, people will come back to see what’s new, and you’ll grow a loyal viewer base.

    Once you begin with video marketing, you’ll probably find it impossible to stop. It’s effective, easy, cost-effective and really fast to produce! It can also put your business on the Internet map, boosting your customer base right along with the bottom line. Get started soon and realize your potential in video marketing.

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    Source by Cameron Nyack

    Views: 0

  • My Husband Keeps Saying That He’s Going to Leave Me – Tips and Advice That May Help

    My Husband Keeps Saying That He’s Going to Leave Me – Tips and Advice That May Help

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    I recently heard from a wife who confided that every time that she and her husband disagreed or hit a rough patch in their marriage, the husband pulled out what the wife called the “leave card.” She told me: “every time things get rough, my husband says he’s going to leave. He’s packed his bags before, but he’s never actually left. Still, this hurts me and I’m getting tired of it. How can I make him see how old these threats are getting? At the same time, I’m afraid that someday soon, he’s actually going to follow through and walk out the door. I’m not sure what to do or how to handle this.”

    This type of correspondence is not all that uncommon. I hear many comments like this. And I can absolutely identify with these wives. This is a very difficult position to be in. It’s hard to move forward and to improve matters with the constant threat of him leaving hanging over your head. You can start to feel like you’re walking on eggshells or have to edit yourself or hold back in some way. So it’s very advisable to consider being proactive and addressing this before things deteriorate any more. I will discuss this more in the following article.

    Asking Him To Stop Constantly Making The Threats To Leave You And The Marriage: Admittedly, I don’t personally know this couple. But, from the little bit that the wife told me, two immediate facts jumped out and seemed most important. First, despite the husband’s repeated threats, he had not left. He was still there, repeating the same old things. This tells us that he’s either not 100% committed to leaving or he’s not yet reached the breaking point or place where it’s feasible or comfortable to move on.

    The second thing that was important was that the husband kept repeating the threats. Now, the wife was very frustrated with this, but one possibility was that the husband was repeating or accelerating his words because nothing was changing or improving and this was the only way that he knew to attempt to get the response that he wanted. Sometimes, people keep repeating the same patterns out of frustration. And, sometimes, they do this because they know no other way.

    But whatever the reason for this negative cycle, I felt that the wife might gain some ground if she approached this subject with both directness and empathy. It was going to be very hard for the two of them to get on the same page when he kept on retreating. So, the next time that he started with the “I’m just going to leave you,” talk, I felt that the wife should have asked him to sit down and talk about this for a minute.

    With a break in the action, the wife might consider telling the husband that they both knew that this was a path that they had been down many times before. And yet, nothing was really changing except that they were both getting frustrated with the same old course of events that never yielded the outcome that either of them really wanted. I suggested that the wife offer to make the husband a deal. She would genuinely listen to why he felt the way that he did and make a very honest effort to address and improve things if he would stop with threats to leave her every time things got tough.

    Understanding The Opportunity That Has Presented Itself And Taking Positive Action To Stop This Cycle: I understood why the wife doubted that she was in so great of a position, but I had to admit to her that there were some advantages that she did have. On an almost daily basis, I hear from wives who were either served divorce papers or who came home to an empty house missing a husband (because he left) with seemingly no warning whatsoever. These women would’ve loved to have had a warning period and a chance to fix things before this action was taken.

    So, while the wife was tired of all this, she had to admit that she still had a chance to make things better and to save the marriage. This was an advantage as was the fact that, despite all of his empty words and posturing, the husband was still there. Clearly, he wasn’t sure that he really wanted to leave, but he was sure that he wanted change that he wasn’t getting, which is why this cycle kept repeating itself.

    Once the wife was able to see this, she was willing to approach things differently. But, before she charged forward wanting to make drastic changes, I told her that it might be a good idea to focus on reconnecting. There was a lot of underlying resentment and anger and I felt that the changes and efforts might not last if they attempted to work things out while both people were still a little lukewarm to one another.

    Do you remember when you were first together and your issues were always little spats that passed over quickly? This is because you were deeply connected and didn’t want to allow for anything to derail that process. Sure, things change and people mature. But often, you’ll find that if you can get to a place where you feel genuine affection and empathy for your spouse, working out the remaining issues becomes so much easier and you’re much less likely to continue to hear the threats that neither one of you are listening to anymore anyway.

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    Source by Leslie Cane

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