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  • Adult Children Come Home to Heal

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    Should you let an adult child come home again? Parents send their nearly grown children out to conquer the world and sometimes they bounce right back home. A parent’s goal is to teach their child to survive the best and the worst that life has to offer. Most young people are able to maintain a level of existence, sobriety and relationships that sustain them until they really know who they are and what they want to do with their lives.

    However, sometimes life throws them a curve and they falter. Circumstances can hurt them, even bring them to their knees. A devastating break-up with a lover, flunking their first semester, an unexpected death of a best friend, or getting fired from his or her first real job can knock your child out of the game and take months to a year to recover.

    Did you keep their childhood bedroom just the same? Perhaps this is the time to open the shades and prepare for a wounded visitor. Make it clear that the invitation is temporary but open your door widely and let them come home again. As irritating as they are to you and your spouse, remember that your little habits will irritate them, too. As they begin to recover their sea legs, they will want the freedom of their own place ASAP. If you want to encourages them to leave quickly after a few weeks recovery, begin to talk endlessly about developing a strong work ethic and new disciplined habits in place of blaming others for their situation or procrastination. Hopefully, they will soon be out seeking new adventures.

    Help them improve their diet and sleep patterns. Try including fish oil and B vitamins daily to help them recharge their nerves and bodies. Less coffee and colas and more vegetables will help them with their mood. If your child seems to be getting worse or rarely leaves the house, antidepressants may be indicated. Get medical help immediately if your child seems despondent or suicidal.

    Being mom or dad again may even heal your empty nest pain. Give them a safe haven for a little while away from the pressures of living fast and competitively. Soon, they will try to fly again, this time a little wiser, a little stronger and a bit more ready. Oh, and don’t redecorate that room just yet. They may be back.

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    Source by Molly Barrow

    Views: 0

  • Use Caution With Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) in Living Wills

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    All people including lawyers need to use caution with Living Wills and the Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) clause. Our relative who was an Emergency Medical Technician (EMT) for 17 years said he would not sign a DNR because he thought if he did that it would allow physicians to cause his death. We respected his decision but could not believe that physicians who mainly preserve life would be anxious to end life. However, it turns out he was correct, a Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) document does give a nursing home or a physician a green light to determine when or if a person can get medical care to preserve life.

    When you are signing paper work to place your loved one in a nursing home they will tell you how humane a Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) clause is, not requiring Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation (CPR) and/or a defibrillator which can break your loves one’s ribs. However, they do not inform you how bad it is for your loved one if they lose their mental or physical faculties unable to communicate their wishes for medical care and uncaring people determine the DNR means that they do not want medical care to extend their lives. Although my wife had a power of attorney requesting medical care for her Father, the Nursing Home staff just ignored us and our attempt to preserve the life of our family member.

    It turns out they had our relative sign a DNR while in a mental fog of an infection. The physician made a misdiagnosis claiming this patient’s daughter (my wife) was mentally ill for trying to honor her Father’s last wishes. She could not adequately communicate with her Father so she had reservations about sanctioning an amputation of his leg without his consent which I thought was prudent. This physician had never even met or talked to my wife and had no psychiatric credentials we are aware of. But when a physician makes a notation in a medical file it has powerful weight with a Court even if the information is false. So the nursing home staff took the physicians view declaring my wife crazy for trying to preserve the life of her Father thus over ruling her rights as a power of attorney and were going to legally expunge the life of her Father who wanted to live.

    Thus, a DNR in some circumstances can be more powerful than a power of attorney. I do not believe we are the only victims of this abuse of a DNR clause that some misguided people use to prematurely extinguish the value of human life. The common practice with the fervent sales pitch to get family members to sign a DNR out of humanity may be valid to a certain extent, but it can also be abused by people who believe they have the right to determine when a person dies.

    Including a clause or adding a hand written notation that the DNR does not give any party the right to deny medical care to your loved one is advisable. A DNR has the ability to convert a physician or nursing home staff into a psychopath and you should have reservations about signing such a document.

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    Source by Dale Adams

    Views: 0

  • Book Review: Breaking Through, Being Healthy In Mind, A 250 Pound Weight Loss Story

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    I recently finished two of this author’s eBooks: Breaking Bad, Overstanding Behavior from an Abusive Father, Breaking Point 1, and Understanding Manifestation, Create a Vision and Hold on Tight, Overstanding Book 1. The author, Jason Criddle, is a product of mixed race and broken home. His father, a black man, severely beat him when he was young, and when Jason was nine-years-of-age his father left him and his white mother to their own devices.

    I was impressed with this author’s writing style as well as his forthright openness about his childhood and the insights into his eventual success. Consequently, I just had to read this book too. But the primary reason I looked for this weight loss reading in particular is the personal journey that I’ve experienced with obesity.

    I was a slender youth, an active athlete in high school, and well-muscled – “lean and mean” while in the Marine Corps. However, about fifteen years ago I came to the realization that I’d gained from 3 to 5 lbs. annually for the past twenty-five years. When I was in the Corps I weighed 185 lbs. Since then, the high-water mark for me was 308 lbs. I felt terrible, it hurt to sit with that large belly in the way, and each of my joints ached when I walked. So, I’ve been searching for diets to bring me back to my optimum weight.

    Slim Fast and other supplements didn’t help. Atkins, liquid, and a number of other diets didn’t help. I’ve read a few books that have helped to some degree… books about quinoa, healthy slushies, juicing, paleo-diet, even hypnosis, and self-affirmations, all have helped. But I needed to find something that was all-encompassing, something that would touch all aspects of life. I found it in Breaking Through. Our author has presented us with a change in living, a change in life, and a new method of thinking. It’s not just diet and, in fact, this is not a diet book. It’s about keeping active, eating smart at correct intervals, and thinking positively.

    I’m proud to say that I’ve lost 21 pounds, down to 287, about a pound or two over each of the past three months. That is in fact the best way to lose weight – slowly, but consistently. If you tend to gain weight over the holidays and need to start a healthier lifestyle this, of course, isn’t the answer to everything, but it’s certainly a start and it’s an inspiring read!

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    Source by Christopher E Gregory

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  • Herpes Genitalis Cure

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    You’ll be glad to hear that, despite the so-called medical ‘facts’ you’ve probably heard or read, which say there is no cure for Herpes Genitalis, there is another more positive view.

    There is evidence that it is possible not just to find effective natural treatment for viral infections such as Herpes & even AIDS, but even to experience a complete cure.

    So far medical research has found no way to eradicate Herpes.

    So if you’ve tested positive for the virus you’ve probably been told there are now drugs to treat the symptoms and shorten the length of the acute attack – but that you can never get rid of the Herpes virus altogether.

    That would mean that even when you are over the first attack and you are no longer showing any symptoms the virus is still in your system and later you will probably have a flare up intermittently and need another course of treatment.

    However – it seems there are other much better possibilities than those offered medically.

    I certainly believe there are more effective ways to deal with the virus than you will be offered medically.

    The first time I saw someone successfully use a natural health method to prevent any recurrence of Herpes Genitalis was in someone who took large amounts of Tahitian Noni Juice for natural healing and then continued to take it on a regular basis over many years – and never had a recurrence of the virus after the first proven infection.

    Though she was convinced the Noni juice had saved her from further problems it is of course impossible to say whether the result was due to the Noni juice or to some other factor – such as her absolute belief in this natural treatment, for example, or perhaps some other factor in her diet or in her life – including perhaps her own healing powers that she was not at that time aware of.

    In fact it is always impossible to be certain in human beings what is the cause of a cure when it does occur – whether the person used medical or natural treatment – because there are always so many other factors that could have been involved. Even when someone takes a drug and gets better for example we cannot be certain it was the drug that produced the healing – for the same reasons.

    However – the point is – this girl was cured – by something – which shows that healing is possible.

    Over the years I have studied and used various forms of natural healing – from diets and supplements – to energy healing, laughter therapy and mind training – in an attempt to help patients who were not getting results with medical treatment or who wanted to avoid the side-effects of various medications. And although not everyone was cured there have been many cases where the healing results have been far beyond medical possibility and medical explanation.

    While still running my own medical practice for example I saw some amazing results with natural treatments. One lady was cured completely of pancreatic cancer. Another – who had been suffering severe infected psoriasis all over her body for many years – despite all medical treatments – was completely clear within a month of starting a natural treatment.

    And early in 2011 I modified my own already successful natural healing techniques after learning about university laboratory studies in which a 100% cancer cure was produced in mice – using only natural healing.

    You can learn about home remedies, experience free natural healing for Herpes Genitalis or learn how to do natural healing for yourself at Jersey Natural Health.com.

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    Source by Dr Anne Curtis

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  • Pat Meseti – Millionaire Mindset

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    Pat Meseti describes himself as a gnome on steroids. If you have heard him speak you would think he is much more than this. I was gifted tickets to an event that Pat recently spoke at and I was hooked.

    The following weekend Pat held a seminar on the Gold Coast and I changed my schedule to be able to attend. Falling ill meant I did not reach the end of the three-day seminar, but as I lay in bed, I read the Millionaire Mindset and it changed my thoughts.

    The main thing to hit me was when Pat explained that you should not take financial advise from people who are poor. Wow! Who doesn't listen to family and friends about money? Are those friends wealthy? No, of course not, but we still listen to them. It is seriously worth thinking about. We must emulate those who have been successful before us.

    The other message that hit home was to keep learning. As a massive fan of Anthony Robbins (also known as Tony Robbins), I understand this and it is great to hear the same amazing information from someone else. It brings home the fact that you are already on the right track.

    You can learn from those who have walked before you or those from another path. I work in real estate, however I feel I can learn a lot from those who work in other professions. I have recently spent time with trainers, speakers as well as a marriage guide, and I learned something new from everyone. It is amazing what you can take away if you are truly willing.

    Looking to some of the world's entrepreneurs will guide the way for those who choose this path, but Pat's words are not just for those in business for themselves. If you choose to work for others, for whatever reason, you can take these teachings to your workplace with you. If you want to be the best at whatever you do, look to those who were great before you. Simple stuff right?

    The last thing that I will share, without ruining the whole book is that we all have a different view on success and wealth. I might think that to earn $ 200,000 a year is success. You might feel that working just enough to be comfortable, but able to get to soccer practice with the kids is success. Whatever you choose is really up to you. Remember to enjoy the ride and celebrate your success, however that looks to you.

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    Source by Brenda Lee Mitchell

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  • The Health Benefits of Indoor Plants

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    When you think of a house plant, you probably think of a green plant that you water occasionally right? But did you know that those pretty green leaves can actually be beneficial to your health? Having indoor house plants can boost your physical, mental and spiritual health.

    Many people thing growing indoor house plants is too much trouble so they turn to the silk variety for green foliage in their homes. But there really is a different in how your home feels when the plants are real. Did you know that living plants can actually improve the air we breathe? Green plants are known for removing carbon dioxide from the air, but they can also filter harmful toxins and pollutants as well. This will make the air in your home healthier for your family, which in turn can help to keep your family healthier as well!

    In addition to helping to purify the air, having house plants in your home can actually help prevent allergies in children. If children are exposed early in life to things that typically cause allergy issues they will begin to develop a tolerance and immunity to the allergen. It works similar to custom allergy shots that people get from their allergist. The allergist does an allergy test then makes a serum of the things that the person is allergic to. The person gets weekly shots of this serum to help them build a tolerance. Exposing your family to house plants can work in the same way, by helping them build a tolerance to the plants in your home. It is important to note that if someone in your family has severe allergies you should talk to their doctor before introducing house plants into their environment.

    In addition to the physical health benefits of house plants, they help with mental health as well. When someone is depressed or lonely, caring for a living thing can help give them a purpose in life. Many people live in places where pets aren’t allowed, so a house plant is a good choice. The person becomes involved in watering, fertilizing and trimming the plant when needed. This is a great therapy for people with mental health issues.

    Being surrounded by living things is good for the soul, so having house plants is good for your spiritual health. Caring for another living thing and being exposed to the beauty can make you feel at peace with the world or at the very least your little corner of the world.

    There are so many advantages to having house plants. However, there is no health benefit in a sick or dead plant. Make sure you water your plants regularly and mix slow release fertilizer in the soil about every three months. If you care for your plants, they will give you years of beauty and the added benefit of clean air, better mental health and calming peace.

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    Source by Piper Cox

    Views: 0

  • Stopping Employee Theft in Your Coffee Business

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    Regardless to how good of an employer you are, and even if you treat your employees well, understand that employee theft is a reality, and you need to control it. While it may only be a very small percentage of your staff that might steal from you, it can have a significant financial impact on your coffee business. If it goes unnoticed, employees will usually become even more brazen in their activities.

    When it comes to theft, your employees are likely to fall into one of the following four categories:

    Mr./Ms. honest – these are people who would never think of taking anything if it doesn’t belong to them. If they happen to go home with one of your ballpoint pens, they’ll bring it back the next day, and feel guilty that they took it home, even though it was unintentional.

    Incidental theft – these are people that will take home your pen by accident, and will keep it. And, they may scarf a piece of cheesecake occasionally when you aren’t looking, even though they know they shouldn’t. Because these items have minimal value, they have no great sense of guilt related to their activities.

    Theft because of need and opportunity – this is when you have an employee who is perhaps living on the edge financially, and because they have the need, and because your security may be lax, they’ll take advantage of an opportune situation to take something.

    Compulsive theft – this is the person who is always looking for something to steal, and they have absolutely no conscience about it. They typically rationalize the theft in their own mind. They consider you to be the rich, fat cat, and feel that they are over worked and under paid, so stealing from you is justified.

    Employee theft probably exists to some extent within your operation, whether you are aware of it or not. You can most likely live with incidental theft, provided it doesn’t get out of control. Theft related to need and opportunity is, in reality, your fault. These people would probably not steal from you normally, but a lack of security procedures has created the temptation and means for them to do so. Compulsive theft must be discovered, stopped, and you must eliminate the person(s) responsible.

    Losing product due to theft:

    Your employees may have no desire or need for a sleeve of 12oz. paper cups, Java Jackets, or a roll of toilet paper… but they might like a frozen cake, gallon of chocolate sauce, 6-pack of beer, or a bottle of wine.

    There are some simple things you can do to greatly reduce the chance of being ripped-off. First, don’t allow your employees to store their jackets, backpacks, and purses near where you store products. This makes it incredibly simple for someone to slide something into their bag or jacket pocket when no one is watching. I always had my employees store their personal belongings in the cabinet under the cash register (where someone would always be watching), or in my office, under lock & and key.

    Second, keep the back door of your store locked with a key at all times (you or your supervisor being the only ones having a key). If customers regularly enter through your back door, this may not be an option. If your back door is an emergency fire exit (and it probably is), you’ll need to install an alarmed breaker-bar. The whole point is that you don’t want your employees to be able to flow in and out of the back door without you knowing about it. Carrying product out the back door to their car, a hiding place for later pick-up, or an awaiting friend, is one of the most common ways products will exit your store.

    Once you have made it more difficult to stash things in their personal belongings, or carry them out the back door, employees may resort to hiding items in the trashcan. Of course you will unlock the back door to let them take out the trash. If they have hidden something in the trashcan, a dumpster-diving expedition will certainly be planned for after-hours to recover their treasure.

    Periodic trashcan checks should eliminate this problem, or make it a far less appealing option to anyone considering this method to smuggle things out of your store. Buy a long handle 3-prong garden rake. When employees ask to take out the trash, accompany them, and have them hold the can up on the edge of the dumpster while you rake out the trashcan contents. What you are looking for are things that might have been hidden in the trash, but you can tell your employees that you are merely making sure that small wares aren’t being accidentally thrown away. During the 15-years I owned and managed restaurants, I discovered everything from six-packs of beer, bottles of wine, and packages of steaks hidden in the trash!

    Another situation that will create an ideal opportunity for employees to steal from you is having only one person working in your store. If your baker comes in each morning a hour before you or the next employee, or if one person is left to clean and lock-up the place at the end of the day, opportunities for theft abound. As the old saying goes: when the cat’s away…

    Always try to have at least two people in your store at all times. If there is not justification for having a second employee on the clock, then you will need to be that second person. If this requires you going from a 60-hour workweek to 80-hours, then this may not be a tolerable option. If this is the case, then at least invest a couple of hours more each day for a week or two to do some detective work.

    During those times of day when only one employee is working, park at the far end of the parking lot, or across the street, so that you will reduce the chance of being noticed by your employee. If they are familiar with your vehicle, use your spouse’s or friend’s vehicle for a few days. Watch carefully (with binoculars if necessary). I know this all sounds a little CSI – like, but better to rest-easy, feeling fairly assured that your employee isn’t carrying away your store when you’re not watching. If I had the time, I could tell you countless stories of my experiences in catching employees red handed, loading the trunks of their cars.

    If you suspect that theft of product might be occurring, but you’ve seen no direct evidence of it, then conducting a daily key item inventory may shed some light on the situation. Write down a list of 15 to 20 products that you think would be most appealing for someone to steal. In your coffee business, this might include items such as coffee, syrups and sauces, smoothie puree, biscotti, cookies, and desserts, sandwich meats & cheeses, and of course beer & wine (if you serve those from your operation). Then take an inventory of these items every day. Your employees don’t need to know what you are doing, and if they ask, simply tell them you are taking an inventory for ordering purposes.

    What you are looking for are anomalies in usage. For example, let’s say that from your daily inventories you assess that you use about half a gallon of chocolate sauce per day. Then, one day you notice you used 1 1/2 gallons of chocolate the previous day. This should send up a red flag! Why did you go through an extra gallon of chocolate? Were you significantly busier yesterday, or did you featuring several drink specials which contained chocolate sauce? A quick review of individual item sales from yesterday’s cash register report should provide you with the answer. If you average one ounce of chocolate per beverage, then using 1 1/2 gallons means you should have sold approximately 192 beverages containing chocolate (128 oz. per gal. x 1.5 = 192). If this was the case, no problem. But, if you discover that you only sold 64 beverages containing chocolate, then 128 oz. (or 1 gallon) is unaccounted for and missing! A good indication that it probably walked out the door. If this happens, keep track of who was working on the day of the shortage. If this happens continually, eventually you will discover that the same person or persons were working every time.

    Theft of money by employees:

    Hopefully, none of your employees will have the desire to steal products from you, but some will be tempted by the lure of cold, hard, cash. Everyone could use an extra $20 a day. Employees who steal money from you will definitely hurt your bottom line, and must be eliminated.

    The first way to reduce cash theft is to have a cash handling policy in place that will discourage theft. If multiple employees are using the cash register, and no one person is responsible, then I can almost guarantee that your cash drawer will keep coming up short on a regular basis. The fact that no one person can be held responsible for the shortages, will make grabbing a bill or two easy and appealing.

    Implement a policy that one, and only one person is responsible for the cash register for the entire shift. They should count the drawer at the beginning of their shift to verify that they are starting with the designated change bank. Then, they should be the only person to ring up sales and make change. Even you, the owner/manger, should keep your hands out of their cash drawer. Finally, at the end of their shift, they should set aside the amount they started with in the change drawer, and total all the remaining cash, checks, and charges, and balance against what was rung up on the register. If they started with the right amount of money in the cash drawer, rang everything up, took all the money, counted back all the change, and they end up short… who’s fault is it? It can only be theirs. By implementing this simple policy, I once took an operation that was coming up $100 a day ($3,000 a month) cash short, and reduced it to $3 a day, in just 30 days! That’s over a $2,900 bottom line improvement, (in case you didn’t do the math)!

    The other common method that a cashier might use to steal money from you is by using a method called, building a bank. This is the process of not ringing up items on the cash register, while still taking money from the customers, and then pocketing that money. Typically, they will obscure the view of the cash register display on the customer’s side with something like a flower, retail merchandise, or by turning the display so that it cannot be easily seen. Then, they will pretend to ring up an item, but will hit the no sale key instead, popping the drawer open so they can take the cash and make change, but in reality, they haven’t rung up anything. The other thing they might do when it is busy is to just not shut the drawer between transactions. They simply convey verbally the cost of items ordered by customers and take the cash, but once again, nothing has been rung up.

    A cash register that prints out the order on a remote receipt printer to the person who will be preparing the item, can eliminate this problem. Quite simply, if the item isn’t rung-up, it won’t print out. If your barista or cook won’t prepare anything without a receipt (and they shouldn’t!), it will force your cashier to ring everything up.

    If you observe that the cash register’s display has been blocked from the customer’s view, or there are an excessive number of no sale indications on your cash register’s detail tape, or notice that your cashier is not shutting the drawer between transactions, beware! While these may not be indisputable proof that your cashier is stealing from you, they should certainly heighten your vigilance to find out if something is going on.

    If your coffee business only warrants having one employee working at a time, perhaps because you own a cart, kiosk, or low volume drive-through operation, then how do you go about keeping your employee from building a bank and stealing from you? The best solution I’ve seen is to turn your customers in to watchdogs. Affix a sign to the front of your cash register, in plain sight of the customer, that reads: If you don’t receive a receipt with your order, it’s FREE! This will force your cashier to hand each customer a receipt for their purchase. If they are building a bank, this means they will have to hand the customer a receipt that says – NO SALE; something they probably won’t fell comfortable doing!

    The financial impact of theft of money can be extremely damaging, for example: Let’s say you have a cashier who is skimming off $20 a day by not ringing things up, and then pocketing the money. Not only did you loose the stolen $20, but the $7 of ingredients that were probably used to produce the ordered products; ($20 x 35% ingredient cost = $7.00). So in reality, you lost $27, and it will take an additional $41.54 in sales, to recover this loss; ($41.54 x 65% gross profit = $27). $27 a day lost to theft, X 21 days worked by the employee = $567 lost cash & product per month; $872 extra sales required to offset this loss. (Annual loss, $6,804; $10,468 in additional income required to offset loss.) You must stop theft of money!

    Theft of money management:

    If you have a manger running your operation for you, this can really create an opportunity for cash theft. Just about anyone who has ever run a food service operation (self included), probably felt that they were over-worked and under-paid. Some are tempted to grant themselves an unapproved raise. Your manger has the control key to the cash register, which means they have the ability to back off items that were sold. You would be wise to check your cash register detail tapes on a regular basis. If you see multiple items backed off in groups, or more worrisome yet, all backed off at the very end of the shift, beware!

    A good way to keep this from happening is to establish a policy that no over-rings are to be backed off of sales on the cash register with the management control key. Instead, when the cashier makes an over-ring, they should take the receipt, write over-ring on it, sign it, and put it in the cash drawer. At the end of the shift, the total of all over-rings should be manually backed off of the sales total indicated on the cash register report.

    Many years ago I had a manager that was stealing money from me in another creative way. This manager, who opened the store each day, would reset the cash register by Z-ing it out after the first half hour of business. He would then pocket the proceeds earned during that first half hour. Because additional sales were generated during the second half hour, the cash register hourly sales report would always show sales for the first hour of operation, thus eliminating any suspicion that something might be going on.

    It wasn’t until I was doing a routine audit of cash register Z tapes that I noticed something wasn’t right. When you run a Z report, which resets the cash register at the end of each day, a multi-digit number will usually be printed somewhere on that tape. The next time you Z the register, that number will advance by one digit. I noticed that even though the tapes were sequential in date, every other number was missing. This tipped me off that the register was being Z-ed twice a day! When I confronted my manager with the tapes, his look of panic spoke volumes.

    If you are doubting the honesty of any of your employees or managers, one way you can verify or eliminate your suspicion is by baiting the cash drawer. Slip an extra $20 bill in the drawer sometime during the day when they aren’t watching. If they don’t end up reporting at the end of their shift that they were $20 cash-over, I’ll do it a second time (just to make sure). If they don’t report it a second time, you should have no doubts that they are indeed, dishonest.

    NEVER accuse an employee or manger of stealing unless you catch them red-handed (actually stuffing money into their pockets). Even though the circumstantial evidence may be overwhelming, unless you actually catch them in the act, they are likely to deny your accusations, and will probably file a complaint against you with the department of labor! The brief moment of satisfaction you will gain from letting them know you are aware of what they’ve been doing, will be quickly overwhelmed by the legal predicament you will find yourself in. You will be far better off to not make accusations. Simply terminate their employment. In many states, you do not need to provide a reason as to why you are letting them go. When they ask for an explanation as to why you are firing them, simply say: I don’t need to give you a reason, I’m just letting you go, goodbye!

    Finally, don’t over look technology to help you with security. Surveillance cameras linked to a DVR (digital video recorder) can provide you with peace of mind, or evidence of theft. These systems have become very affordable, and many are easy to install. The value of these cameras go beyond having a video record of operations. The mere fact that employees understand that their activities are being video recorded, will usually discourage them from doing things that they might not think twice about, if no one was watching.

    I think it’s important to not be paranoid about employee theft. Certainly, you don’t want to be constantly obsessed with the suspicion that everyone is stealing from you. In reality, the majority of your employees are probably honest people. But, you would be wise to establish some simple safeguards, and maintain a watchful eye.

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    Source by Ed Arvidson

    Views: 0

  • How Do I Get My Wife to Come Back Home – Tips to Help Rebuild Your Marriage

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    How do I get my wife to come back home? Any man asking that is staring face first into a divorce. If your wife has moved out that means the state of your marriage is delicate at best. Maybe you told her to go or perhaps you begged her to stay. Regardless, now you’re faced with a future without the woman you really love. You obviously want her back so you two can start the process of rebuilding your broken marriage. It can happen but you have to be determined to put in the effort and understanding that it takes.

    Understanding how to get your wife to want to reconcile has a lot to do with recognizing and respecting her feelings at the moment. If things got to the point where it felt necessary for her to leave the family home, that speaks volumes about where you two were at. Obviously you weren’t getting along at all. Perhaps your days and evenings were filled with arguments and conflict. Maybe it reached a point where you two just stopped talking altogether. Before you can expect to move forward with repairing the relationship you have to acknowledge that she needs to not be with you. Her decision to leave has to be respected.

    Initiating contact again is something that should be done in a very specific way. You must start with an apology. Regardless of what you did wrong or what you two argued about the most, it’s important for you to acknowledge your part in that. Obviously, the apology that you’ll present will be different if she left because you cheated but essentially at its foundation it’s all about beginning the process of forgiveness and healing. Let her know that you regret your actions and you’ve learned from them. It’s important that she understands that you’re working hard to become a better person.

    Dating your wife again may seem like a foreign concept given the fact that you’ve been married for some time, but it has a lot of merit when it comes to getting close to her again. She needs to feel that you value her not only as a wife and mother but as a woman as well. If you show her that spending time alone with her is your priority, she’ll open back up. Make an effort to plan dates with her and be a gentlemen. If she sees hints of that man that she first fell in love with she’ll be more inclined to let her guard down and she’ll consider the idea of giving your marriage another try.

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    Source by Gillian Reynolds

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  • Saving a Long Distance Relationship: How Do You Know When It’s Heading For The Rocks?

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    When you or your significant other are forced to move away for whatever reason, the necessity of saving a long distance relationship is the last thing on your mind. However, the chances are that neither of you has any real idea how to make your long distance relationship work.

    Initially you’re both head over heels in love and, while you’re sad at the idea of being apart, you’re both determined that nothing will stop you from being together. You make all the usual promises to each other and for a while things are great. The problem is that in all probability you never got down to the nitty gritty reality of what it would actually be like to be hundreds or even thousands of miles apart, so you’re not prepared for the loneliness that inevitably comes as part of a long distance relationship package.

    The initial elation and determination to be together no matter what begins to fade slowly and inevitably, and that’s usually when the insecurities start to set in.

    You begin wondering what your partner’s up to. Perhaps they don’t appear to be missing you as much as you’re missing them; maybe they’re not available to talk when you need to. If you’re the one left behind you have the added knowledge that your lover has started a new job and of course you imagine them meeting lots of new people and having a really exciting time. Of course it’s not always the person left behind who has the problems. In your relationship, maybe you’re the one starting the new job and you don’t know anybody. Perhaps you think of your partner back at home surrounded by friends and family and you wonder if they are missing you like you’re missing them, or even if they’re thinking of you at all. But whatever your situation, that feeling of insecurity is horrible and so soul destroying.

    You want to talk to your partner but you’re struggling to communicate because you’re frightened of the potential fall-out; that if your lover knew how you really felt, then your relationship would end. At this point, saving a long distance relationship is still not on your mind because the chances are that you are burying your head firmly in the sand, not realizing that by not talking to each other, your relationship is heading inexorably to the rocks.

    Eventually loneliness gives way to frustration. You’re not getting what you want out of the relationship so you start to become resentful. Very often at this point it becomes all about you – what your lover wants doesn’t seem to matter.

    Slowly frustration begins to turn to anger. Everyone around you seems to be in a relationship in which they’re surgically glued to one another’s side. Your friends and family thinks you’re crazy and give you all kinds of well meaning advice; unfortunately, it’s mostly negative and probably doesn’t involve actually saving a long distance relationship!

    Whether you recognize it or not, you are now both firmly at the point of desperately needing to save your long distance relationship and, if neither of you take action, you begin to lose all sense of actually being in a relationship at all and drift towards the final stage in any long distance relationship break down – detachment.

    One or both of you allow the resentment and frustration to get the better of you and slowly begin to withdraw into yourself. Your communication dwindles to almost non-existent and when you do speak, neither of you have anything to say.

    Maybe at this point saving a long distance relationship seems almost impossible with everything seemingly working against you, but before you get on the phone and end it all, I want to say one final thing: It doesn’t have to be like that!

    Ask yourselves this question: Do you and your partner love each other? If the answer to that question is ‘yes’ then, believe me you can save your long distance relationship.

    If the love is still there underneath all of the crap that has gotten in the way, you really can halt the slide and pull it back together. Distance doesn’t have to be a deal breaker and you don’t have to be in the same room to share that special intimacy.

    It won’t happen overnight, but if you’re both truly prepared to work at it, you won’t only be saving a long distance relationship but making it better than you ever thought possible.

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    Source by Beverley Watts

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  • Emotional Resilience in Children

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    Emotional resilience is the ability to cope with stressful life experiences, disappointments, and challenges in an effective and meaningful way that helps to preserve self-esteem, build social aptitude, and prevent frustration, anger, and even depression. Emotional resilience learned early in life assists in recovering from misfortunes and disappointments, thus fostering emotional health.

    Teaching your child to be emotionally resilient will help him / her be in control and build confidence to work through challenging situations effectively. Becoming emotionally resilient in childhood will provide a basic foundation for your child's emotional health in adolescence and adulthood.

    Emotions shape your child's interactions with others and affect his or her behaviors resulting from those interactions. In order to prevent conflict, or deal with conflict effectively when it arises, your child should learn to understand his or her feelings, be able to identify them, and regulate them. It is important to teach children there is a whole gamut of emotions that can be expressed in various ways. However, knowing how to express them in a meaningful way will help your child in solving social conflicts and maintaining relationships. One way of promoting development of emotional competence is to help your child develop vocabulary that expresses feelings. Parents can also assist their children in recognizing various emotions and teaching them that emotions can be changed by their thinking.

    Emotions are driven by behaviors. However, children must learn that emotions should not take control over their actions. It is crucial for children to know that expressing feelings helps in preventing and resolving problems. They need to be taught that bottled-up feelings lead to misunderstandings, anxiety, anger, and depression.

    When your child does not express emotions, he or she is more likely to experience angry outbursts that might come from being sad, embarrassed, or frustrated. Perhaps, your child feels guilty about something he or she did, is afraid, or feels helpless and chooses to express those negative feelings of emotional stress with angry outbursts. This inability to deal with stress in a constructive way most of the time stems from the lack of understanding one's own emotions, emotions of others, and lacking the ability to express feelings effectively.

    Signs of Emotional Fragility

    – Regression of behaviors
    – Withdrawal
    – Excessive clinginess
    – Bedwetting
    – Nightmares
    – Aggression

    One of the most important things a parent can do to foster a child's healthy emotional development is to promote positive family communication. That includes positive reinforcement, which is praising your child for positive behaviors, giving encouragement, and avoidance of negative criticism when expected results are not achieved. Also, providing consistency is extremely important for a child's emotional health, as it aids in avoiding ambiguity and uncertainty. If a child knows what's expected of him or her, they will most likely comply, thus avoiding frustration, anger, and possibly humiliation.

    Younger children might be more open and willing to express their feelings. In adolescence, family communication might become more challenging as the teen tries to suppress their feelings in an attempt to resolve them alone. Parenting teenagers requires patience and the ability to be supportive. Frequently, conversation with your teen at home might be extremely difficult. However, your teen may try to open up while riding with you in a car where there is no eye contact, thus the confrontation seems to be less intimidating. Building a sound foundation of emotional resilience in childhood will help your adolescent achieve emotional health. Should getting through to your child become impossible, or he or she becomes withdrawn and exhibits signs of emotional instability, don't be afraid to seek help. You may start by talking to another family member, a friend, or a counselor.

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    Source by Monika B. Pis, Ph.D.

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