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Tag: Guilt

  • Mind, Body, Spirit Healing–Putting It into Practice

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    Modern Medicine promotes the belief that health and wellness is a crap shoot, genetically driven and at best, pure luck. If the roll of the dice isn’t in your favor or your genetic make-up has been doomed six generations back, or luck runs out, Modern Medicine has a magic pill, chemical bomb or simply cutting out whatever organ is afflicted as a solution.

    Norman Vincent Peale declared, “Change your thoughts, and you change your world.” Caroline Myss, medical intuitive extraordinaire states, “Every choice we make, every thought and feeling we have, is an act of power that has biological, environmental, social, personal and global consequences.” Wayne Dyer states, “We are responsible for everything in our lives, including whether the chemistry in our body works or doesn’t work.” If you believe health and wellness is a crap shoot, genetically driven or pure luck you have set the stage for body malfunction. If you believe as Norman Vincent Peale, Caroline Myss, PhD and Wayne Dyer, PhD, Deepak Chopra, MD believe your choices, thoughts and feelings are an act of power, and that you are responsible, then you are in control of your health.

    To be effective Mind, Body, Spirit healing needs to be practiced on a daily basis–not after your body is being ravaged by a malfunction. Mind, Body, Spirit healing is a process that maintains and supports health and wellness, thereby prevents body malfunction. People who practice Mind, Body Spirit healing avoid having cancer, MS, heart attacks, strokes, and the 101 other afflictions from A to Z, which Modern Medicine has conditioned us to be plagued by from birth to death–for many a premature death.

    The nine most frequent surgeries in America are Tonsillectomies, myringotomies, Cataract removal, Low-back surgery, Gall Bladder removal, Hysterectomies, C-Section, Sleep Apnea, Jaw pain.

    As Dr. Myss stated–“…every thought and feeling we have, is an act of power that has biological,…consequences.” In order to change any biological consequence you need to change your thoughts, which changes your feelings. Your new thoughts/beliefs must be shifted to empower you to control your health.

    To eliminate/avoid the most common reasons for surgery, it is important to know the thoughts/beliefs, which creates body malfunctions and healthy thoughts/beliefs to prevent or heal it.

    Tonsillitis, Quinsy, Sore Throat – cause: Fear, Repressed emotions, Stifled Creativity, A strong belief that you cannot speak up for yourself and ask for your needs, Feeling unable to express yourself. Holding in angry words.

    Remedy: “I release all restrictions and I am free to be me. It is my birth right to have my needs met. I now ask for what I want with love and with ease. My good now flows freely. Divine ideas express through me. I am at peace.”

    Ear Infection – cause: Anger. Not wanting to hear. Too much turmoil. Parents arguing.

    Remedy: Myringotomies are performed for recurrent ear infection, usually in children under five. Since your child is incapable of changing the thoughts/feelings you need to take the responsibility to change the child’s experience and foster the expression of feelings. Listen to and acknowledge your child’s feelings. Avoid talking at your child, talk with your child. There many excellent books on effective parenting. If there is turmoil, fighting and arguing between the parents–seek counseling to resolve your adult issues. I urge adults who have frequent colds/sore throats to use the following thought patterns. “I hear with love. Harmony surrounds me. I listen with love to the pleasant and the good. I am a center of love.”

    Cataracts – cause: Inability to see ahead with joy. Belief in a dark future.

    Remedy: “Life is eternal and filled with joy. I look forward to every moment.”

    Gall Bladder problems-cause: Bitterness. Hard thoughts. Condemning. Pride. Fear.

    Remedy: “I joyously release all hurts from the past. Life is sweet and so am I.

    Uterus/ovary problems – cause: Allowing confusion to reign. Giving power to outside influences. Rejection of the feminine processes.

    Remedy: “I am at home in my body. I am balanced in my creative flow.

    C-Section-cause: Belief in old wives tales. Belief–childbirth should be painless. Fear. Stopping the process. Rejection of the feminine processes. Unhealed aftereffects of child sexual abuse/rape or adult rape cause the memory of trauma to interfere with the natural birth process. If you are a sexual child abuse or adult rape survivor heal the emotional and physical aftereffects. See http://www.gen-assist.com to find a sexual abuse recovery specialist, traditional therapy is not effective to guide you through sexual abuse recovery.

    Remedy: Change your beliefs about childbirth. Take natural childbirth classes. A mid-wife and/or doula can lead you through a healthy delivery in the majority of instances. “I trust the process of life. I am safe. I am balanced in my creative flow.”

    Jaw Pain-cause: Anger. Resentment. Desire for revenge.

    Remedy: “I am willing to change the patterns in me that created this condition. I love and approve of myself. I am safe.”

    Sleep Apnea: Stubborn refusal to let go of old patterns, overweight or tonsil malfunction.

    Remedy: “I release all that is unlike love and joy in my mind. I move from the past into the new and fresh and vital.” Lose weight and follow remedy for tonsil malfunction.

    Low-Back Pain L-1 to L- 5 – cause: Crying for love and a need to be lonely. Insecurity. Stuck in childhood pain. See no way out. Sexual abuse. Guilt. Self-hatred. Rejection of sexuality. Financial insecurity. Fear of career. Feeling powerless. Insecurity. Difficulty in communicating. Anger. Inability to accept pleasure.

    Remedy: “I am safe in the universe and all Life loves me and supports me. I grow beyond my parents’ limitations and live for myself. It is my turn now. I release the past. I cherish myself and my beautiful sexuality. I am safe. I love who I am. I am grounded in my own power. I am secure on all levels. I deserve to enjoy life. I ask for what I want and I accept with joy and pleasure.”

    Tip: Write these thoughts on a 3X5 card. Read them silently or out loud 3 times upon awakening and before going to sleep. Have a copy with you, if you notice you are running the old tapes in your head, read the new thought pattern. Within 30 – 45 days you will notice you feel better, more energized and have a sense of relief.

    The food we eat or lack of proper nutrition contributes to physical malfunction. I will discuss nutritional needs–titled Holistic Nutrition.

    Article resource: Heal Your Body, Louise Hay.

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    Source by Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD

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  • The Catcher in the Rye: Mental Health Services and Social Connections for Children

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    The Catcher in the Rye, by J.D. Salinger, was required reading for my tenth grade English class. I remembered it as a story about the struggles of adolescence, the yearning for independence, and the reluctance to let go of youth. My son is now about the same age as I was when I read the book and we are living through his own nudge for independence, which sparked my interest to give the story another read. Before I began, I wondered what my take on the book would be at this point in life having survived adolescence and received training and experience in child development in addition to having a teen in the house. This reading accentuated the unresolved grief, family dysfunction, mental illness, and lack of social connectedness of the main character, Holden Caulfield, and how these difficulties exacerbate the issues experienced during the typical maturational process. As the country still debates gun control laws in the aftermath of Sandy Hook, and as we try to recover from the Boston Marathon bombing, The Catcher in the Rye reminds us about the importance of developing meaningful and genuine connections with our children and the need to address their mental health issues.

    The Catcher in the Rye begins as a flashback story about Holden Caulfield’s experiences leading up to his nervous breakdown prior to Christmas. Holden narrates the story while receiving inpatient psychological treatment on the west coast. The events begin at Pencey Prep in Pennsylvania, where Holden has been expelled due to poor academic performance, and conclude in New York City as Holden attempts to return home. During the course of his journey, Holden attempts to make connections with a number of people however, he fails miserably due to his social ineptitude, lack of appropriate treatment for what may possibly be bipolar disorder, and inability to believe that other people are capable of being genuine. Holden eventually makes it home and connects with his younger sister. By that time he has decompensated to the point that, even though he is no longer experiencing suicidal ideations, he feels disconnected, misunderstood, and alone. Holden decides that he is going to go away, to escape from society and the rejection, the loneliness, and the pain that he feels. However, Holden makes one last trip to see his sister Phoebe before he disappears. Phoebe’s caring, anger, and innocence provide Holden with the connection he is looking for; she is both a peer and dependent to him. Through Phoebe, Holden is able to cling to his childhood and put off making the leap to young adulthood and independence.

    One theme that I was more attuned to during this reading was the unspoken dysfunction of the Caulfield family. Holden frequently compares himself to his younger, deceased brother, whom he describes as brilliant and athletic, as well as his older brother, who has become a successful author. It is suggested that Holden is a challenging child, and somewhat of a disappointment to his parents as he has been unable to live up to their expectations. He has been expelled from at least four preparatory schools due to poor academic performance, he has difficulty socially connecting with others, and he has frequent mood swings. It is possible that Holden’s parents were drained from watching their youngest son battle with leukemia which left them with little strength to effectively deal with Holden’s grief and potential disability. In Holden’s eyes, they appear to have emotionally and physically divested themselves from him. He has little to no emotional family support and what appears to be very little communication with them. Holden is left adrift to navigate this tumultuous time in his life without support, understanding, and treatment. His efforts to reach out and communicate, including failing out of schools and getting into fights, are not understood as cries for help but are seen as personal shortcomings.

    Holden perceives most people as being phony, superficial, and hypercritical. This may in part be due to his social awkwardness, lack of maturity, and feeling of being abandoned by his parents. He is continuously let down by everyone that he reaches out to for help as they either don’t live up to what Holden has built up in his mind, or they try to take advantage of him. Therefore, Holden comes to believe that everyone is phony who doesn’t or is incapable of meeting his preconceived expectations. In addition, Holden clearly experiences moments of mania during the story, which are often followed by feelings of sadness to the point where he does express some suicidal thoughts. It seems that the lack of communication with his parents, the unresolved grief and guilt over the death of his brother, and the inability to effectively and appropriately connect with others result in Holden being unable to interact with others on anything but a superficial level. The exception to this is Phoebe. Her reluctance to let her brother leave provides Holden with the strength to go home and ask for help. However, in the end, Holden continues to suffer from a lack of love and feelings of loneliness. He states, “Don’t ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.” At this point, Holden continues to find it difficult to have genuine, meaningful relationships believing that when you open up to people that they will turn away from you in order to keep the relationship on a superficial level. Holden continues to be plagued by this emotional void and, while there is a hunger for social connectedness, he will continue to experience emptiness and rejection due to his quirkiness.

    For me, reading The Catcher in the Rye in high school highlighted the struggle for independence and Holden’s war on hypocrisy. On this reading, I was able to obtain a better understanding of the tragedy that occurs as a result of Holden’s parents being unable to provide him the emotional support that he needs to overcome his brother’s death and deal with his mental health needs. Holden’s repeated failure to socially connect and develop a meaningful relationship with anyone other than his sister and the lack of treatment for his mental health issues made me think of the recent tragedies in Colorado, Sandy Hook, and Boston. It reinforced the need to take mental health needs and services seriously; just because these conditions are unseen doesn’t mean that they aren’t debilitating. Feeling cared for and connected to others reduces the stress, stigma, and isolation that are associated with these conditions. It made me wonder whether these tragedies could have been avoided if the people involved had received appropriate therapy and treatment. They may have felt connected and accepted, and these tragedies may have been avoided. The message of being accepted and cared for from The Catcher in the Rye continues to be relevant to young people today as we all strive for acceptance.

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    Source by David Pino

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  • Sex Drive, Sex Addiction And Anger

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    In psychiatry, we do a mental state examination that is quite like a physical examination. In it, one of the questions we ask of every patient is- How is your sexual appetite? In many parts of the world this question can be considered offensive especially when asked by the member of the opposite sex. But in the western world, people can talk freely about it. So in psychiatry, one has to be respectful of the culture one is working in.

    The importance of this question is that sexual drive determines the mental health of a person. In most psychiatric conditions, the drive is reduced. This happens in depression and anxiety conditions including post-traumatic stress disorder. In certain conditions like mania, it increases. In a person who is not manic, but has an unhealthy, elevated sexual drive, it is considered to be a sign of an addiction. An addiction has the quality of being compulsive and it is in excess to the norm. This excess starts damaging the person’s financial, social and personal condition. In such situations, it is a sign of ill health.

    In my experience, sex drive is the indicator of the physical and mental tension a person carries. When the tension increases to the extent that the body and the nervous system start getting tired, the drive reduces. If the tension is reduced, the drive comes back. In my experience, this happens typically in people who suffer with depression. Depression, is suppressed anger. When a depressed person, having low sex drive, starts releasing anger, the nervous system experiences a release and the sex drive or libido is increased as a result.

    Excessive sexual drive is the result of excessive tension or stress being produced in the body. The fact that regular physical exercise produces a healthy sex drive is a clinically known fact. When the tension is increased in the body, as happens in anger and following physical exercise, there is an upsurge in sex hormones. At that stage, the drive can become excessive. Despite having regular sexual partners, such people will feel the need to masturbate frequently to reduce their nervous tension. Such people are usually normal individuals except that they are torn inside with guilt about masturbation. If such people were to do nothing about their ‘sex addiction’, they would end up being depressed. This is because the body has a limit to tolerate tension. When the limit is reached,the nervous system becomes fatigued and features of depression kick in.

    In medical practice, medicines can be prescribed to control the excessive sexual drive. In my work, I have used meditation and imagery exercises to help the patients reduce their anger. The reduction in their sexual drive is a natural spontaneous follow up.

    Many years ago, there was an earthquake in the region of California. In the studies done at that time, scientists were perplexed to learn that immediately after the earthquake, the survivors reported a surge in their sexual drives. The reason for this, as I understand is this. Sex is an activity that is gift from nature to the animal world to continue with the progeny. During times of danger, the survival of the species or individual is threatened. This causes an anger drive that is necessary to undo the effects of the danger. Testosterone is a typical male hormone that increases muscle tension and produces energy in the body. Its secretion is increased at such times too. In order for the progeny to continue, reproductive activity has to take place. So there is a consequent increase in sexual drive.

    On the other hand, what would happen, if the anger tension is considerably reduced in the body? In all kinds of spiritual literature, there is emphasis on celibacy. Some religions enforce it on their followers. This is so because if you meditate regularly, the body’s physical and mental needs reduce considerably. There is also a reduction in anger levels and the body’s tension. The sexual drive reduces as a result. In such cases reduction in sexual drive is a sign of excellent mental health rather than the sign of mental illness. In spiritual literatures, sex is not a weakness because it provides pleasure, but because it is a sign of tension. Spiritual practices, like meditation, reduce this tension. Engaging in sex is a ‘weakness’ from anger/tension perspective in spirituality. It has nothing to do with denial of pleasure.

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    Source by Pradeep Chadha

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  • Why You Need to Express Emotion

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    When I was young I was taught that crying was not good. After all, the message was that if you cry too much, “you’re going to get sick.” Crying, especially in public, definitely was bad news. In short, crying, even when grieving, was considered to be a sign of weakness. If you were going to cry, then do so in private.

    Through the years this and many other natural ways of showing emotion have been stifled by many of the celebrities who always assume a stoic pose when appearing on camera. (I always remember the death of President Kennedy and the way Jackie showed little emotion during the funeral and on TV.)

    Many additional beliefs about expressing emotion were looked down upon for years as western culture had adopted the “rugged individualism” view of dealing with life in all its manifestations. Expressing emotion was out and being strong was definitely in. Keeping emotion within is presently the cultural norm.

    However, psychology and the social sciences have shown time and time again the importance of expressing, in some form, what is happening inside; it can actually save your life. If you have been trained by the authority figures in your life to suppress your feelings or if you are unable to cry (much to do with unconscious beliefs instilled early in life) when one might be expected to do so, consider the following.

    1. We are built to vocalize feelings and tell our stories. This is an inherent and normal human response. Its purpose is to relieve the stress of trauma and massive change that occur in every life. There is a basic human need to externalize the pressure and pain that develops within.

    2. What is the alternative when we bottle the anxiety, anger, fear, guilt or pain that is generated by a major loss? The physical self pays a huge price to perform this task. Stress hormones go into overdrive and every cell in the body is affected. I repeat, every cell in the body is heavily stressed. Energy stores are depleted.

    3. A more vicious result of stuffing feelings is that our unconscious and our memory banks keep them forever alive in full force. Consequently, we are easily thrown into deep pain throughout life when something we see in a movie or on a TV show or read in the paper, cues up the terrible feelings and memories we never dealt with.

    So what can you do? The obvious answer is to find a way to tell your story of pain and disappointment. If you don’t have a best friend who is a good long-term listener, (a resource we all need to develop), then seek out a counselor, clergy person, or support group. You also can express feelings through writing, drawing, painting or sculpting. Reach out to God to unload your burden. You may need several avenues of release.

    Give in to the natural inclination to share the pain of loss. There is nothing weak about doing so. It is not merely highly therapeutic, it will lead to insights into your loss and how to cope with it (verbalizing our feelings often leads to new interpretations and thoughts). When appropriate, request your good listener to give you valuable feedback.

    Make every effort to change the pattern of the way you deal with loss and change and encourage your children to be open with you about their feelings. See the process as wisdom seeking and in making wise choices. Let periodic expression, where you plumb the deepest depths of your feelings, become part of your long-term healing process. We all need the nurturance and feeling of community that sharing feelings naturally brings forth.

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    Source by Lou LaGrand

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  • Divorce Tips: How To Heal From A Divorce In One Therapy Session

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    Healing from a divorce does take time and people going through this process are apt to experience a range of emotions including sadness, guilt, anger, resentment, anxiety, frustration and depression.

    The good news is that therapy can expedite the healing process and help people to view the end of their marriage in a more positive manner.

    Some years ago, I developed a visualization technique based on Ericksonian Psychotherapy and Hypnosis and which seems to help many divorcing individuals to heal from their loss and to restore their overall well-being.

    A description of this technique appears below.

    Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths as you listen to my voice.

    Each time you breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. And every time you inhale you take in relaxation, peace and healing. And each time you exhale you let go of or diminish any pain, sadness or any negative or uncomfortable thought or unpleasant emotion.

    So, your breath becomes a powerful healing tool. You can use your breath to adjust your mood whenever you need to do so.

    And as you use your breathing to heal yourself, you may also discover that your mind can go back in time if you want it to do so.

    And as you go back in time…

    Do you remember when you were a little boy or a little girl?

    You may remember what you looked like back then or you may have seen photos videos of yourself from your childhood.

    You may also recall what the house you grew up in looked like.

    Now, when you were a child, you probably fell down while running or while riding your bicycle. And most likely, you bruised your knee or your elbow. And your arm or your leg probably bled what felt like a lot back then.

    Then your mom, dad or a neighbor came along and gave you a hug and comforted you.

    They washed out the wound and applied an antiseptic to the injury. This probably that stung a bit. When it was placed on your wound, you may have felt like you were going to have to feel a little worse before you could feel a little better.

    And then your caretaker applied a band aid or some gauze and tape that was just the right size to cover and protect your wound.

    This helped you to feel less pain, a bit safer and a bit more secure.

    The wound may have felt worse for the next day and for even a few more days or weeks.

    You probably had to change the band aid every day or so. And you may have to wash the injured spot frequently.

    But in time, the wound began to heal, even though you may have scratched it at times, like most kids do.

    And after the passage of a little some more time, a scab formed, all the bleeding stopped and the old skin was replaced with news softer but tougher new skin.

    After a little more time, the pain subsided almost completely. Though, you still had some good days and bad days with your wound.

    Now, the pain from some wounds may not ever go away one hundred per cent.

    Many of us have physical aches and pains that stay with us, but we push on in spite of them.

    But, luckily, sometimes healing eighty or ninety percent is sufficient for us to carry on to feel generally okay.

    As you can see, the mind heals from emotional losses and wounds in much the same way that it heals from physical injuries.

    So, if you or someone you love is struggling with a loss, think about the process of healing described in the metaphor.

    Perhaps it will to help to lessen your pain, allow you to heal and to move forward with your life with a more positive spirit.

    Give it a try. Interestingly, this same technique has been used by people who are dealing with the death of a loved one.

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    Source by Jay P. Granat, Ph.D.

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  • Understanding Love's True Nature

    Understanding Love's True Nature

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    Since the dawn of homo sapiens, we have been investigating, experiencing, and trying to crack the secret code of love. Many of us seem to have forgotten that in the earlier days, free love was a scarcity. From aristocrats to slaves, marriages and relationships were often given as commands and choices of individuals in higher power and authority for political, religious, material and personal gains. Thus, there are the great love tragedies of "Romeo and Juliet" and "Abelard and Heloise", as well as countless others who were heedlessly persecuted for their innocent expression of love. These tragic love stories left many of us wondering, why is it so hard to love and what is like to experience that depth of love?

    Free will love has made much progress in the 21st century through the evolution of humans' love experiences, technological advancement, and cultural changes. In today's more liberal societies, people are given the freedom to choose and express their admirations and desires to the subjects of their affection with little or no consequences. However, in societies where we can freely choose whom we want to love, we have witnessed an increase in divorce rate, a decline in marriage rate, and more people delaying marriage for different reasons.

    Duality of Love

    But regardless whether we follow the "Abelard and Heloise" love model of 'following one to the end of the Hell' to 'you are just one of the 100 people that I am seeing and what is your name again?', We experience the universal conditions of pleasures and pains, the coming together, and the ultimate disintegration of love and relationships, no matter how little or how much we love. No matter how much wealth and power one possesses, one is still subject to others' emotional and physical transgressions.

    So, if we know the ultimate end to any love and relationship, why are we still relentlessly pursuing love, whether it is in the form of a committed monogamous relationship or sleeping with as many people as we can? What is it that we pursue in our teens, 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, and up to the moment of our death? And if we are to look back at our lives, would we regret the times we did not try harder, the people we have hurt, and most painful of all, we easily let go of that person who awakens our soul, only to learn so too late.

    Pleasures and pains are the twin brothers of love. We cannot expect one and not the other. We think we deserve God-like love and it is someone else's responsibility to make us happy. If we want God-like love, then we should put in God-like work. If we are not willing to open our hearts to experience judgements, disappointments, and pains in experiencing love, how can we ask for a love that brings us happiness? If we are not willing to overcome our egos and karmic conditionings, how we can manifest a love that brings us meaning? If we are not willing to heal our souls' deepest wounds, how can we expect to live without pain?

    Love's True Nature

    Perhaps we can think ourselves as individuals who have came together to help each other learn and master the experiences of love and separation in different forms: commitment, marriage, infidelity, rejection, betrayal, and abandonment. So, in facing repetitive failures, disappointments, and hurts, we don't easily give up, and we continue to seek, learn, and understand love's true nature. In doing so, we can look beyond the rise and fall of constant changes in our everyday interactions and relationships.

    We learn to not waste energy on trivial questions like why he / she never responded to my text or never called me back. We don't doubt our values ​​because the person we love chooses someone else and we respect his / her choice and will. We don't live the rest of our lives in disappointment and hurt over people's betrayal. We don't take the easy route of love at the expense of others.

    When we transcend our experiences and learnings, love is no longer an idea of ​​you, me, he, she, or us. To love is to release us from our pains, fears, regrets, shame, guilt, and delusions, so we can transcend beyond our limited perceptions of ourselves and what love is.

    We can overcome our conditioned desires that dictate our thinking, beliefs, and behaviors in relationships. We develop the wisdom and courage to stay true to our hearts and not give in to our fears and pains for short term pleasures and gains.

    In experiencing the beginning and end of all human love relationships and their associated pleasures and pains, we learn unconditional acceptance, forgiveness, and love.

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    Source by Wendy Lin

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