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Tag: Giving

How Do I Get My Wife to Come Back Home – Tips to Help Rebuild Your Marriage

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How do I get my wife to come back home? Any man asking that is staring face first into a divorce. If your wife has moved out that means the state of your marriage is delicate at best. Maybe you told her to go or perhaps you begged her to stay. Regardless, now you’re faced with a future without the woman you really love. You obviously want her back so you two can start the process of rebuilding your broken marriage. It can happen but you have to be determined to put in the effort and understanding that it takes.

Understanding how to get your wife to want to reconcile has a lot to do with recognizing and respecting her feelings at the moment. If things got to the point where it felt necessary for her to leave the family home, that speaks volumes about where you two were at. Obviously you weren’t getting along at all. Perhaps your days and evenings were filled with arguments and conflict. Maybe it reached a point where you two just stopped talking altogether. Before you can expect to move forward with repairing the relationship you have to acknowledge that she needs to not be with you. Her decision to leave has to be respected.

Initiating contact again is something that should be done in a very specific way. You must start with an apology. Regardless of what you did wrong or what you two argued about the most, it’s important for you to acknowledge your part in that. Obviously, the apology that you’ll present will be different if she left because you cheated but essentially at its foundation it’s all about beginning the process of forgiveness and healing. Let her know that you regret your actions and you’ve learned from them. It’s important that she understands that you’re working hard to become a better person.

Dating your wife again may seem like a foreign concept given the fact that you’ve been married for some time, but it has a lot of merit when it comes to getting close to her again. She needs to feel that you value her not only as a wife and mother but as a woman as well. If you show her that spending time alone with her is your priority, she’ll open back up. Make an effort to plan dates with her and be a gentlemen. If she sees hints of that man that she first fell in love with she’ll be more inclined to let her guard down and she’ll consider the idea of giving your marriage another try.

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Source by Gillian Reynolds

Views: 0

February 6, 2020
Why The Wealthy Give to Charities and Others

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It's a strikingly strange world today because there are billionaires popping up at a great rate of knots. They seem to be competing with each other in the profit-making stakes as well as in philanthropy. The interest alone on their wealth would fall far short of any money they give away, however, if one were to size it up. That is not the only reason they do it though, as money weighs on their conscience and that is something they cannot ease.

Money is man's invention and it is highly destructive, as we see by the way the earth is being murdered. It is more important to some than life itself. While most feel they cannot live without it the alternative is another man-made situation. Poverty and starvation being the worst situations to be in. That is where charity is needed the most.

Philanthropists love to give money to charities that support the poor. The question is why? When they take so much wealth from the world and the trickle down effects robs those at the bottom of a descent life one has to question whether their conscience plays a role in the generosity? Not everyone who is 'rich' is evil or robbing others, but it is well-known that most only acquire huge wealth by robbing others along the way.

They are renowned for minimising their tax so the governments are denied that money to assist those at those at the bottom. They take rather than give until the amount of their holdings becomes an embarrassment. Many will also cheat in other ways. This assessment excludes those who achieve by mining, oil holdings, and such. But that takes in other things like damage to the environment.

Money is a weight over their heads when it accumulates and their situations are publicly known. That is when many will turn to philanthropic means to relieve their conscience. If they can be seen to be doing some good, then who is going to question how they made their money in the first place.

Perhaps the greatest perpetrators of this type of behavior are religious organizations, such as the Catholic Church. On the surface it provides huge amounts for the upkeep of orphanages, hospitals, and charitable causes. Underneath, however, the lying and cheating that goes on is incredible.

Its relics and monuments that are displayed as genuine articles are nothing but fakes. The pilgrims that pour into the businesses where they are on display are giving millions to the coffers of the church every day. The Vatican's claim that it holds some of the cross on which Jesus Christ died and the nails that held him to the cross is just one of those untruths.

With memory of reincarnation and knowledge that everyone has returned in the same way there is no heaven or hell and my research shows that Jesus Christ is the invention of Constantine, the one dubbed 666 in Revelation 13: 12-18. Without evidence that such existed the Church has done everything to add credibility to its profitable schemes.

Philanthropy is a way of justifying its deception. While it acts in accordance with what the law allows, and it has its own 'country' to do it in, the chances of it being brought to account for its wrongful claims are virtually zero.

Meanwhile by giving to the under-privileged organizations and businesses alike are able to write off tax, satisfy their conscience, and ultimately fool enough people so that it becomes business as usual. Money is a drug leading the world to a disaster as we face the last days.

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Source by Norma Holt

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February 5, 2020
Emotional Resilience in Children

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Emotional resilience is the ability to cope with stressful life experiences, disappointments, and challenges in an effective and meaningful way that helps to preserve self-esteem, build social aptitude, and prevent frustration, anger, and even depression. Emotional resilience learned early in life assists in recovering from misfortunes and disappointments, thus fostering emotional health.

Teaching your child to be emotionally resilient will help him / her be in control and build confidence to work through challenging situations effectively. Becoming emotionally resilient in childhood will provide a basic foundation for your child's emotional health in adolescence and adulthood.

Emotions shape your child's interactions with others and affect his or her behaviors resulting from those interactions. In order to prevent conflict, or deal with conflict effectively when it arises, your child should learn to understand his or her feelings, be able to identify them, and regulate them. It is important to teach children there is a whole gamut of emotions that can be expressed in various ways. However, knowing how to express them in a meaningful way will help your child in solving social conflicts and maintaining relationships. One way of promoting development of emotional competence is to help your child develop vocabulary that expresses feelings. Parents can also assist their children in recognizing various emotions and teaching them that emotions can be changed by their thinking.

Emotions are driven by behaviors. However, children must learn that emotions should not take control over their actions. It is crucial for children to know that expressing feelings helps in preventing and resolving problems. They need to be taught that bottled-up feelings lead to misunderstandings, anxiety, anger, and depression.

When your child does not express emotions, he or she is more likely to experience angry outbursts that might come from being sad, embarrassed, or frustrated. Perhaps, your child feels guilty about something he or she did, is afraid, or feels helpless and chooses to express those negative feelings of emotional stress with angry outbursts. This inability to deal with stress in a constructive way most of the time stems from the lack of understanding one's own emotions, emotions of others, and lacking the ability to express feelings effectively.

Signs of Emotional Fragility

– Regression of behaviors
– Withdrawal
– Excessive clinginess
– Bedwetting
– Nightmares
– Aggression

One of the most important things a parent can do to foster a child's healthy emotional development is to promote positive family communication. That includes positive reinforcement, which is praising your child for positive behaviors, giving encouragement, and avoidance of negative criticism when expected results are not achieved. Also, providing consistency is extremely important for a child's emotional health, as it aids in avoiding ambiguity and uncertainty. If a child knows what's expected of him or her, they will most likely comply, thus avoiding frustration, anger, and possibly humiliation.

Younger children might be more open and willing to express their feelings. In adolescence, family communication might become more challenging as the teen tries to suppress their feelings in an attempt to resolve them alone. Parenting teenagers requires patience and the ability to be supportive. Frequently, conversation with your teen at home might be extremely difficult. However, your teen may try to open up while riding with you in a car where there is no eye contact, thus the confrontation seems to be less intimidating. Building a sound foundation of emotional resilience in childhood will help your adolescent achieve emotional health. Should getting through to your child become impossible, or he or she becomes withdrawn and exhibits signs of emotional instability, don't be afraid to seek help. You may start by talking to another family member, a friend, or a counselor.

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Source by Monika B. Pis, Ph.D.

Views: 0

February 5, 2020
Caribbean Medical School: Fastest Way to Be a Doctor?

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Caribbean medical schools have long been the butt of jokes but their graduates are the ones having the last laugh. There are thousands of licensed physicians from Caribbean schools practicing all across the country. Over 25% of all doctors in the US are from international schools. Do you know where your primary care physician went to medical school? This is the field where Caribbean graduates are expected to dominate with a large percentage of graduates training in Internal and Family Medicine. They are expected to fill a nationwide shortage that is currently occupied by Physicians Assistants and Nurse Practitioners.

Picture this. A 17 year old high school graduate enrolls in a pre-medical program at a Caribbean university. Schools will automatically accept students to their medical programs as long as they maintain a certain GPA in the pre-program. This means there is no need to take the MCAT so you can save yourself the headaches from preparing for that. The program is completed in 2 years and the student enrolls in the first year of the medical degree program at 19 years old.

Numerous Caribbean schools offer an accelerated curriculum that divide the year into trimesters. Students attend school year round and are able to complete their M.D. in less than 36 months. Not to mention you only spend 18 months studying on the island. The clinical years are spent training alongside American medical student at hospitals in the US. St. George’s medical school has hospital affiliations that match any US school. Our fictional student graduates with his Doctorate in Medicine at the ripe age of 22 (going on 23).

Our new graduate is eligible to practice in any state in the country as long as he attended one of the “Big 4” Caribbean medical schools (St. George’s University, Saba University, Ross University and American University of the Caribbean). Internal Medicine residencies last 3 years so we have a residency trained physician ready for board exams, licenses and employment at a mere 25 years old. Not quite Doogie Howser but it’s impressive to say the least.

This accelerated path also benefits those seeking a new career or chasing their dream of being a doctor. Time is of the essence and wasting summers off in the traditional semester system is not time well spent. Caribbean medical schools are littered with nurses, pharmacists, dentists, chiropractors and many other health care practitioners. Many schools offer several different entrance times during the year giving flexibility for students who want to begin their medical education immediately.

There is risk involved in attending a medical school overseas but there have been thousands who have blazed the trail before you and set the precedent. Caribbean medical schools produce capable physicians and fill an integral need in the health care system of the US.

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Source by Greg Andrew Park

Views: 0

February 5, 2020
Customer Service Tips – How to Handle Irate Customers
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Are you ready to learn how to keep every guest happy? It starts with making sure that your managers are thoroughly trained in every position within your restaurant. They need to know all the jobs, so they can step in if someone calls off sick, or if sales are higher than expected.

The manager needs to be highly trained in excellent customer service. This type of service is called “wow” service because your customers will say “Wow!” about their experience at your restaurant.

One way to easily accomplish that “wow” experience is simply by telling your managers that every time they are in direct contact with any guest, that they are smiling, being friendly and attentive to the guests. If a famous person was coming to your restaurant, how would you treat that person? Every guest should be receive that same VIP treatment.

In case of a dissatisfied, angry, or irate customers, we recommend applying the GLAD technique. This will dramatically decrease customer related matters, and lead to customer recovery.

What is the GLAD Technique?
1. Go to the guest
2. Listen carefully to the guest
3. Apologize to the guest
4. Do what it takes to solve the problem
When approaching the upset customer, always shows genuine concern. It is important to listen to the guest without cutting them off. Make sure that you take the time to fully understand their concerns. Remain calm. Responding to anger in a calm manner may help reduce the person’s anxiety. Don’t be fake, be real.

Always apologize to the guest, even if the customer is wrong. Even when you are certain the person is wrong, go with the mindset that the person is right. Never offer excuses as to why the problem occurred, but offer solutions instead.

Solutions will vary depending on the complaint and the circumstances. Offer a solution and ask if this will meet the customer’s needs. Go above and beyond. Remember, one angry customer leads to other lost customers. Keep in mind that for each customer you lose, you will lose 11 customers within the next few weeks. That number will compound because those 11 people will also repeat what they heard from the first customer. Ultimately you could be losing hundreds of customers because of one dissatisfied customer. If the matter is serious, you could even lose your restaurant’s reputation, and the restaurant could end up being shut down.

Every customer that leaves your restaurant tells family, friends and co-workers about the experience at your restaurant. If the experience was mediocre they won’t say anything, but if it was very good experience at your restaurant they will tell others. If it was a negative experience and they walked out dissatisfied, then the reputation of your restaurant will be impacted. Negative feedback from your customers could mean the end of your business. Don’t underestimate the power of the word-of-mouth effect. Word-of-mouth will work with you or against you depending on the guest’s experience.

Do you really want to lose business because of customer complaints? Teaching effective customer service techniques to your managers and staff should be at the top of your to-do list.

Teach your managers to be proactive in preventing customer related matters. Manager presence in the dining room is a wonderful path to reduce customer complaints. The manager should spend at least 80% of his/her time in the dining room, and only 10% in the manager’s office.

The manager also needs to physically approach each customer’s table to ensure that WOW guest service is in effect. The manager also needs to learn how to detect negative body language and how to express positive body language.

How do customers show their dissatisfaction with their body language?
- When you are in direct eye-to-eye contact, you can witness the anger in the customer’s eyes.
- Seeing untouched food, especially when everybody at the table ate their food, except the one customer who barely touched his or her food.
- The manager asks the customer, “So how was your meal and service tonight?” The customer replies, “It’s okay”. If the customer was fully satisfied with both the service and the meal they may say it was “terrific” or “great,” not just “okay.”
- When you look at a guest and you get an uncomfortable “gut” feeling, act on that feeling.
- You see a customer looking around as though they want someone to help them. You may even see them glaring at a server speaking with other customers.
What is your body language saying?
- Always use direct eye contact when talking to your guests. Never look away while you are talking to your guest. Looking away gives the impression that you are not interested in what the other person has to say.
- Never cross your arms when talking to guests, this could be interpreted as shutting them out or anger.
- Never roll your eyes, as this is very disrespectful and it appears that you are belittling their concerns.
- Constantly listen to the guest even if they are angry. It may help to allow the person to vent their anger. Always acknowledge their feelings.
- Ask the customer what would improve the visit to your restaurant.
What do you do with Moody Customers?

This is your opportunity to turn around the customer’s mood from a bad to good. Make certain that you are on top of things and pay attention to details. If you have any concerns about their experience, you may even offer the table a free appetizer or dessert. It may seem like you are losing money by “giving away” food or “discounting” their meals; however, you will lose more money from each lost customer than you will for that one food item or meal. If you successfully turn things around, then you may create repeat business. Kindness and consideration of their needs will often overcome their anger.

A wise person said, “How you handle positive feedback is important, but it is more important to know how to handle negative feedback.” Make sure you tell the customers that you appreciate the fact that they took the time to tell you about their experience. Don’t make excuses, instead find solutions. Don’t disagree with the customer, even if you know the guest is wrong.

If you don’t learn from your mistakes, you are doomed to repeat them again and again.

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Source by Donna Schim

Views: 0
February 5, 2020
Concierge Medicine + TeleMedicine = Way To Go!

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More and more doctors are considering adding telemedicine and concierge medicine business models to increase revenue streams and improve patient services. Many are finding that educating patients about the benefits of telemedicine as a cost-effective, hassle-free care delivery model is the best approach to increasing adoption rates.

Armed with smartphones, patients can schedule a same day appointment for both minor and major conditions. Doctors find telemedicine provides opportunities to consult with peers and specialists in the cloud to make faster, more accurate decisions – sometimes life saving decisions, such as identifying signs of a stroke or imminent heart attacks during virtual patient encounters.

Why TeleMedicine?

Telemedicine allows patients access to faster appointments, often immediately or on the same day as the first request. Physicians can spend quality one-on-one time with patients and personalize health care without traveling to an office or clinic.

Doctors can now offer problem-focused visits for everything from a follow up for prescription renewals to highly complicated situations where a patient has multiple medical conditions and many providers. Virtual collaboration makes it more convenient to discuss potential drug contraindication with all providers using a secured digital platform.

Patients can reach their trusted physician from anywhere, anytime, even when they are traveling for business or vacation. There is no need to see another doctor if either is out of town. And, non-emergency issues – colds, dermatitis, ear pain, etc – can often be handled with a short virtual visit instead of waiting for an office visit.

Technology empowers physicians to monitor at-risk patients while giving patients more tools to control blood pressure, glucose levels and other health metrics from the comfort of their homes.

Telemedicine plus concierge medicine provide a dual solution. Patients can speak to and see a trusted doctor every time they have a problem. While virtual visits don't allow doctors to actually listen to the heart or lungs or take a throat swab, it is possible to make a well-informed decision about when to request the patient come in for a visit. Concierge medicine ensures patients have access to a trusted group of provider when an in-person visit is the best answer. The combination is convenient, affordable and provides continuity of care necessary to build patient confidence.

In 2016, more than 15 million Americans participated in remote health care services. The American Telemedicine Association says the numbers are growing. Telemedicine encounters is the wave of the future, and the future is now.

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Source by Ash Metha

Views: 0

February 4, 2020
Women Managers Leaving Corporations for Entrepreneurship

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Increasingly, women managers are choosing to “opt out” when corporations fail to meet their professional needs. Opting out–the latest catch phrase within corporate circles–describes the growing trend of leaving corporate positions for alternative career paths.

A significant number of women managers are leaving large companies to start their own businesses. In fact,

women are quitting corporate jobs in favor of entrepreneurship at twice the rate of men, making a significant impact on the traditional and online marketplace, according to Cheskin Research, a California-based strategic market research and consulting company.

Recent research indicates interesting trends for women entrepreneurs. According to the Center for Women’s Business research, the number of women-owned U.S. businesses grew at twice the rate of all firms between 1997 and 2002. And the U.S. Small Business Administration reports that women-owned businesses account for 28 percent of all privately-owned companies. They employ 9.2 million people and contribute $2.38 trillion in revenue to the U.S. economy.

Why Women Managers are Leaving Corporate America?

Women used to be willing to devote their time, energy, and effort to the corporation’s needs–at the expense of meeting their own professional goals. But not anymore. They’re starting their own businesses in an effort to gain more freedom, recognition, money, opportunities and other rewards.

Fifty-one percent of women business owners with prior private-sector experience cite the desire for more flexibility as the major reason for leaving corporate positions, according to a study by Catalyst, a nonprofit research and advisory organization working to advance professional women. Twenty-nine percent said restrictive glass-ceiling issues drove them out the door. Of those women, 44 percent felt their contributions were not recognized or valued.

“As women walk out the door after years of training,” said Catalyst President Sheila Wellington, “what really walks out is the potential that those women would have brought to Corporate America.”

The Catalyst research–co-sponsored by the National Foundation for Women Business Owners, the Committee of 200, and Salomon Smith Barney–also revealed that:

o A third of the women surveyed by said they weren’t taken seriously by their employer or supervisor.

o Fifty-eight percent of them said that nothing would attract them back to the corporate world.

o Twenty-four percent said they could be lured back by more money, and 11 percent by greater flexibility.

Keeping Women in Corporations

Experts say corporate America isn’t doing enough to keep women from walking out the door. Companies need to focus on providing flexibility, as well as continuing challenges and opportunities for personal growth, to retain women whom they view as high-potential or who are already significant contributors, says Catalyst. In addition, companies should identify potential women managers early in their careers, reward women’s bottom-line contributions, and recruit female entrepreneurs to corporate boards and senior line positions.

Expanding opportunities for women in leadership will require corporate change, as well as accommodations on the part of women themselves. Corporate cultures must support initiatives such as giving women high-visibility assignments, making gender diversity a part of succession planning and holding managers accountable for women’s advancements.

Women managers can hone their leadership ability by seeking out risky, high profile assignments. If they need to strengthen their leadership skills to meet new challenges, they should consider hiring an executive coaching firm. For example, QuadWest Associates of Michigan offers a variety of business coaching and leadership development services to help executives optimize their skills and performance.

By investing in coaching services, women managers can position themselves to expand their boundaries. This can help them excel–whether they remain in a corporate setting or strike out on their own.

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Source by Susan West

Views: 0

February 4, 2020
Created To Bond – Changes That Heal Part II
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Failure To Develop Relationships

Emotional ties have a dramatic effect on our well-being. When one fails to develop relationships or bond with others, it can and often does affect their ability to stave off or recover from a variety of not only physical but also emotional ills. When they learn to attach to and trust others, they begin to develop not only emotionally, but also psychologically. Thus, their ability to bond with others… to become closely knit, often carryover into their home life.

When a child is distressed, he/she may show unusual signs such as increased pulse, increased or labored respiration, helplessness, and hopelessness and may easily become enraged. These signs are often seen when the biological parent remarries and the child tends to believe that he/she must compete with the step-parent for the biological parent’s attention.

When the adoptive or step-parent enters the situation with food, physical contact, compassion and other help, the child learns her parents can meet her needs. The child is then more active and able to respond to stimulation such as playing. When the child is content, she is able to sleep and feel comfortable in her surroundings.

According to Deborah Gray, author of Attaching in Adoption, “attachment is a relationship formed primarily with members of the family and requires more time and interaction to be created. Attachment is what most adoptive parents are referring to when they talk about bonding with their child. Adopted children of all ages may have an attachment to their birth family, even if the relationship was neglectful or abusive. Many adoption experts agree that if a child can form an attachment to birth and foster parents, she will have the skills to attach to her adoptive family as well.”

Signs of Secure Attachment

The parental attachment process can often take weeks or years to fully develop, and in some cases there maybe pervasive attachment disorders for which professional therapy will be required. A strong indicator of whether attachment is taking place is the comfort with which the adoptive or step-parent is able to recognize the child’s needs. It is important to remember that the repetition of parents meeting a child’s needs is the foundation of forming a secure attachment with children of all ages, not just infants.

The attachment bond shapes an infant’s brain

The attachment bond is the term for our first interactive love relationship-the one we had with our primary caregivers, that is, our mothers. The mother-child attachment bond is instrumental in shaping infants brains. This important attachment profoundly influences our self-esteem, our expectations of others, and our ability to attract and maintain successful relationships. So, the success, or failure, of our first love-the attachment bond-has a life-long effect.

Our secure attachment bond shapes our abilities to:
- feel safe
- develop meaningful connections with others
- explore our world
- deal with stress
- balance emotions
- experience comfort and security
- make sense of our lives
- create positive memories and expectations of relationships
Attachment bonds are as unique as we are. Primary caretakers do not have to be perfect. They do not have to always be in agreement with their infants’ emotions, but it helps if they are emotionally available a majority of the time.

We were born with an innate or preprogrammed need to bond with one very significant person-our primary caregiver, usually our mother. Like all infants, you were a small bundle of disjointed emotions-intensely experiencing fear, anger, sadness, and joy, often at the same time. The natural emotional attachment that grew between you and your caregiver was the first interactive relationship of your life, and it depended upon nonverbal communication. Therefore, the bonding you experienced in this relationship determined how you would relate to other people throughout your life. This bonding relationship established the foundation for all verbal and nonverbal communication in your future relationships.

For better or worse, the attachment bond profoundly influences the infant brain. It is a baby’s first love relationship. When the primary caretaker can manage personal stress, calm the infant, communicate through emotion, share joy, and forgive easily, the young child’s nervous system becomes “securely attached.” The strong foundation of a secure attachment bond enables the child to be self-confident, trusting, hopeful, and comfortable in the face of conflict. As an adult, he or she will be flexible, creative, hopeful, and optimistic.

People who fail to establish this type of bonding relationship often experience confusing, frightening, or broken emotional communications during their infancy and often grow into adults who have difficulty understanding their own emotions and the feelings of others. This hampers their ability to establish, build and/or maintain attachments leading to successful relationships.

What is Attachment?

Attachment is the relationship between infants and their primary caregivers-is responsible for:
- shaping the success or failure of future intimate relationships
- the ability to maintain a normal emotional balance
- the ability to enjoy being ourselves and to find satisfaction in being with others
- the ability to successfully rebound from various disappointments, discouragement, and misfortune
Many scientific studies of the brain-and the primary role attachment plays in shaping it-has given us a new basis for understanding why vast numbers of people have great difficulty communicating with the most important individuals in their work and love lives. Once, we could only use guesswork to try and determine why important relationships never evolved, or developed chronic problems, or fell apart. Now, thanks to new insights into brain development, we can understand what it takes to help build and nurture productive and meaningful relationships at home and at work.

What is the attachment bond?

The mother-child bond is the primary force in infant development, according to the attachment bond theory pioneered by English psychiatrist John Bowlby and American psychologist Mary Ainsworth. The theory has gained strength through worldwide scientific studies and the use of brain imaging technology.

The attachment bond theory states that the relationship between infants and primary caretakers is responsible for:
- shaping all of our future relationships
- strengthening or damaging our abilities to focus, be conscious of our feelings, and calm ourselves
- the ability to bounce back from misfortune
Scientific research reveals the infant/adult interactions that result in a successful, secure attachment, where both people are aware of the other’s feelings and emotions is the necessary precursor for successful relationships. These studies also reveal troubled, or insecure attachment, in which the communication of feelings fails thus resulting in an inability to form the bind needed to establish a solid relationship. Researchers found that in order to have successful adult relationships there must exist in us and we must depend on the ability to:
- manage stress
- stay “tuned in” with emotions
- use communicative body language
- be playful in a mutually engaging manner
- be readily forgiving, relinquishing grudges
The same research also found that when an insecure attachment exists some type of abuse may have caused it, but it is just as likely to be caused by isolation or loneliness. These recent discoveries offer a new glimpse into successful love relationships. Taking these observations into account often provides the keys to identifying and repairing a love relationship that is strained or falling apart.

Insecure attachment affects adult relationships

Insecurity can be a significant problem in all of our lives, and it usually takes root when an infant’s attachment bond fails to provide the child with sufficient structure, recognition, understanding, safety, and mutual accord. These insecurities may lead us to:
- Tune out and turn off-Most often, if our parent is unavailable and self-absorbed, we may-as children-get lost in our own inner world, we become introverted, avoiding any close, emotional connections. This often causes us as adults to become physically and emotionally distant in relationships.
- Remain insecure-If we have parents who are inconsistent or intrusive, it’s more than likely that we will become unrealistically anxious and fearful, never knowing what to expect. Then as adults, we may become willingly available one moment and totally rejecting the next.
- Become disorganized, aggressive and angry-When our early needs for emotional closeness and comfort is neglected, or when a parent’s erratic behavior is a source of disorienting terror, emotional problems are sure to follow. As we grow into adults, we may lack the ability to love easily and may unknowingly be insensitive to the needs of our partner.
- Develop slowly-Problems often occur when we fail to develop as rapidly as we should, both emotionally and intellectually. Such developmental delays often manifest themselves in the form of deficits and often result in subsequent physical and mental health problems, and generally lead to social and learning disabilities.
Lessons Learned From Our Attachment Bond

There are many powerful, life-altering lessons we learn from our attachment bond-our first love relationship continues to teach us as adults. The gut-level knowledge we gained from this bond then guides us in improving our adult relationships and making them secure.

Lesson No. 1-All adult relationships depend on nonverbal forms of communication for their success. These nonverbal communication skills are learned in infancy. Newborn infants cannot talk, reason or plan; yet they are equipped to make sure their needs are met. Infants don’t know what they need, they feel what they need, and communicate accordingly. When an infant communicates with a caretaker who understands and meets their physical and emotional needs an attachment takes place and the strength of that attachment influences other relationships later in life.

Lesson No. 2-Relationships in which the parties are tuned in to each other’s emotions are called attuned relationships, and attuned relationships teach us that:
- nonverbal cues deeply impact our love relationships
- as we play it helps us smooth over the turbulent times we endure in love relationships
- inevitable conflicts can build trusting relationships if we approach them without fear or a need to punish or retaliate
When we can recognize knee-jerk memories, perceive expectations, inappropriate attitudes, unfounded assumptions and improper behaviors as problems resulting from insecure attachment bonds, we can squelch their influence and their effect on our adult relationships. That recognition allows us to readily reconstruct the healthy nonverbal communication skills that ultimately produce an attuned attachment and successful relationship.

Becoming an Adult and Relationship Orientation

As we grow into adulthood, for the most part we bring with us the ideas and communication lessons we have learned from the time of our infancy. Whether these are good or bad depends on our ability to not only view life from our perspective but also have the ability and the willingness to see things from the other person’s point of view as well. When we are able to do that, then we are in a more astute position to deal with situations and circumstances that are adverse to us.

As we move through the adolescent stage of life we find ourselves at odds not only with others but also with ourselves. We want to be an adult with all of its rights and privileges sooner that we can become one, yet at the same time we want to abdicate the responsibility that goes with that station in life. It is a time of being able to make your own decisions and taking authority over your own life, but you are not there yet. You must learn to maintain control of your impulsiveness and your inhibitions. You must be able to objectionably reevaluate your beliefs, see your parents and authority figures realistically, recognize and pursue your God-given talents and goals, and be willing to take ultimate responsibility for yourself. Finally you must be able to accept and appreciate people who are different.

This ability helps us to be able to accept the good and the bad because we are able to address situations in a mature manner. When we are able to do this, we place ourselves into a position of strength, resulting in a proper evaluation of ourselves. Thus we are able to overcome some of the most persistent problems we face daily because now we are not only able to see things in black and white but also in the various shades of gray. As such, we are able to make allowances for our and other peoples mistakes.

We at that point come to realize that everything in life doesn’t have to go our way in order for us to be happy. We gain a new perspective on ourselves, others and God as a result of our changed thinking. We are then able to deal with each other with mercy, in grace, with the understanding that we too make mistakes. When we move into the realm of tolerance and forgiveness, we are able to love others without them having to be perfect.

Yet, in order to accomplish the task and responsibility of growing up we must also be willing to take responsibility and be accountable for those things of which we have been put in charge. Those things include our attitude, tongue, and actions. As we continue to grow in stature and wisdom the maturity level of our life should also increase proportionately.

Differences Between Men And Women

From my experience in dealing with women, (my mother, aunts, seven sisters and many friends and associates) I find that the majority of women are generally oriented towards their existing friendship networks whereas men were more interested in meeting new people and finding people who had similar interests — in other words, men would rather enjoy the adventure of reaching out to new people rather than cementing their existing relationships.

These results contribute to the growing research on social capital, networking and highlight the importance of examining specific interactive applications. The importance of distinguishing between strong and weak ties plays a major role in establishing new relationships. Also, it is necessary to consider the importance of taking into account gender differences in social interaction patterns. Whereas, women increase their bonding social capital as a result of using these sites but men do not. Women, on the other hand, show a decrease in bonding social capital with those whom they meet outside of their normal sphere of influence.

The fear of incorporating emotional intimacy into these association/relationships is mainly due to a fear of rejection and engulfment – a fear of losing the other and/or losing yourself. To overcome this obstacle you must be able to establish an inner bond with yourself. Inner Bonding is a transformational process for healing the fear of intimacy related ideas that have been carried from past experiences.

The mental visualization of these experiences often cause us to digress into a self-contained state of emotional security that hinders our ability to openly tolerate the inconsistencies we see in others. As a result, we ourselves are moved to a protective state and therefore unable to deal with the negative feelings that we will invariably experience. This barrier can block us from resolving issues that in reality are non-issues.

The Immaturity In Adolescence

Struggles with adolescent identity and depression usually set in when an adolescent experiences a loss. The most important loss in their lives is the changing relationship between the adolescent and their parents. Adolescents may also experience strife in their relationships with friends. This may be due to the activities their friends take part in, such as smoking, which causes adolescents to feel as though participating in such activities themselves is likely essential to maintaining these friendships. Teen depression can be extremely intense at times because of physical and hormonal changes but emotional instability is part of adolescence. Their changing mind, body and relationships often present themselves as stressful and that change, they assume, is something to be feared.

Your experiences in life help you to mature. The maturity is developed when you know you have no one to blame for the past but the circumstances and your immaturity. Oftentimes your immaturity stopped you from having a proper perspective of the facts facts and seeing things as they were. This made you blame others for your sufferings. You may have created and escalated your suffering without realizing the facts and circumstances and taking a easy way out by holding others responsible for it.

You feel you are always on the receiving end of every wrong or perceived wrong due to your immaturity. However, life has a knack of replaying memories and after few years it recreates the same circumstances but this time puts you on the opposite side (giving end), you are left with no choice but to accept the fact that you were so immature then and have grow-up with years. As you mature, life makes you see your ‘old you’ in somebody else now in these replaying of circumstances and you know that the other person still has to wait years ahead to grow and realize these facts.

Maturity slowly leads to wisdom when you know that it is only you who has to stand up and take responsibility for your past – action / inaction, sufferings / failures instead of holding others responsible. It is truly said that you create your own happiness. By blaming others and holding grudges you keep happiness at bay and give way to hatred and self pity. However, with time and wisdom when you accept the responsibility for your sufferings and embrace all your successes without pride -you are truly happy.

Divorce And Its Affects On Maturity

Children of divorced parents often bitterly vow not to repeat the same mistakes. They want to avoid putting themselves and their own children through the pain that comes from the dissolution of a marriage. But, according to University of Utah researcher Nicholas H. Wolfinger, these children’s aspirations face unfavorable odds. “Growing up in a divorced family greatly increases the chances of ending one’s own marriage, a phenomenon called the divorce cycle or the intergenerational transmission of divorce.” Dr. Wolfinger has spent almost a decade studying the marriages of children from divorced homes in America. These children are more likely to marry during their teenage years, cohabitate and marry someone who is also a child of divorced parents. And they are also one-third less likely to marry if they are over age 20.

“Understanding the Divorce Cycle: The Children of Divorce in Their Own Marriages,” by Wolfinger, published by Cambridge University Press, contains important information for those interested in divorce and its repercussions. “Divorce is an important topic because it has so many consequences for well-being,” writes Wolfinger,

“Its transmission between generations adds a whole new dimension by perpetuating the cycle of divorce. The divorce cycle, in short, can be thought of as a cascade. Ending a marriage starts a cycle that threatens to affect increasing numbers of people over time, a sobering thought in an era when half of all new marriages fail.” His research also suggests that if one spouse comes from divorced parents, the couple may be up to twice as likely to divorce. Spouses who are both children of divorced parents are three times more likely to divorce as couples who both hail from intact families.

Besides observing the marital stability of the offspring of divorced couples, Wolfinger’s book provides another perspective on how parental divorce affects offspring marriage timing, mate selection, cohabitating relationships as well as historical trends in the divorce cycle. Wolfinger also explores the divorce reform movement in America and argues in favor of no-fault divorce laws, arguing that a return to an age of tough divorce laws would recreate the social conditions that used to make divorce harder on children.

It is my opinion considering all that has been written on this subject that one reason children from divorced families get divorced more often is because they have a tendency to marry as teenagers. Social history demonstrates that the older you are when you marry, the less likely you are to get divorced. It’s good advice for everyone.”

On the other hand, the more transitions children experience while growing up, the more they will experience as adults. Taking this into consideration, the question that needs to be asked is, “What is the hardest for kids is how many disruptions they experience — the up-and-down cycles.

This is a valid question because many children will have stepparents, and some will see their new families dissolve. This type of disruption occurs any time they lose a parent — except from death. That’s different, and doesn’t have the same negative effects on children… whereas divorce is ambiguous. Children wonder whether the divorce was their fault or who is to blame. And they wonder ‘Is he coming back?’” It is certainly good news that people are less likely to stay in high conflict marriages than they used to. However, “ending a low-conflict marriage may hurt children as much as staying in a high-conflict family,” and the odds of divorce transmission are actually highest if parents dissolve a marriage after little or no conflict. It therefore behooves us to evaluate the effects divorce will have upon our children and their emotional well being should we decide to travel that road.

But before making that decision, we should honestly examine ourselves and the motivating things that are moving us in that direction. This inventory, if prayerfully done will allow us to see the other persons point of view more clearly and thereby make the necessary adjustments, where warranted, to resolve the issues that precipitated situation to begin with. If we are truly willing to continue the relationship, then we must take the necessary steps needed to resolve the issues of what is good or bad by first considering what we could have done to alleviate the problem rather than casting blame. When we allow the power of forgiveness to flow in us we cannot only deal with the past and present, but also the future as bonds are cemented.

Gray, Deborah. Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today’s Parents. Indiana:Perspectives Press Inc., 2002.

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Source by Franklyn T. Johnson, Ph.D

Views: 0
February 3, 2020
Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? A Review of My Millionaire Mentor

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My Millionaire Mentor Review

Who wants to be a millionaire? Everyone! And yes, this opportunity promises to make you one in a matter of months. But hey, don’t we know that if there is something that sounds too good to be true, it is likely to be not true? Whenever we see any opportunity that promises a lot of money very fast, and with minimal efforts, it is natural to feel a little skeptical about it. There are thousands of such scams on the internet which claim to let you into a secret which will make you a millionaire in a matter of months. But eventually, you just end up spending your precious time and your hopes are dashed when time passes by and you make no money at all.

However, My Millionaire Mentor seems to be slightly different from all those false promises that are strewn around the internet. So let’s try and figure out whether this is actually a good opportunity or yet another internet money making scam.

What is My Millionaire Mentor?

My Millionaire Mentor is Ryan Matthew’s personal website where he offers to train fifty internet newbies and teach them a six step secret which will make them earn anything from $1000 to $5000 per day. Wow! That’s a lot of money, right? But what does one have to do in order to earn this kind of money? That is precisely what millionaire Ryan Matthews wants to teach you.

He is going to personally coach the first fifty people who sign up for this program, and he promises to let them in on the secret which has made him earn around $11 million in just two years. He adds that in order to make that whopping amount of money, he had to work for only an hour per day! When you see his San Diego beach house and his neat set of supercars, it seems like a fantasy. And when he promises that you can have all of that, it seems to be an even more unlikely proposition.

Ryan Matthews also adds that this process is completely risk free, and does not involve going to your friends and family to sell a particular product. He makes it very clear in his promotional video that you will not be a salesperson of any kind. Moreover, he guarantees that there is no way that you can lose money by participating in this program. So what is this program all about? Read on to find out more.

Is My Millionaire Mentor A Good Opportunity?

In the promotional video for the company, we find people from different walks of life thanking Ryan Matthews for completely transforming their lives. One instantly identifies with those people. All of us have debts and mortgages that we struggle to pay, even though some of us work on two jobs. We spend all our days working hard to pay off our debts, while the best times of our lives just pass us by. Who wouldn’t want to spend more time with their kids rather than working in office on a Saturday night? Moreover, there are so many other financial pressures that we have on our shoulders – like college funds, home loans, health worries – that we hardly find time to follow our dreams and live our lives to the fullest.

Thus, when an opportunity like My Millionaire Mentor comes to us, it is absolutely alluring. But the thing is, the internet is full of many financial scams which claim to transform your lives, but end up taking money from you. All of us have been disappointed many times through various such programs that claim to make us millionaires but end up taking our own hard earned money.

So we need to be very careful before getting into any such program which offers easy money. My Millionaire Mentor states it very clearly that it is a scheme which has long term returns. On the plus side, that means that your grandchildren can enjoy the fruits of your labor. However, on the other hand, it means that it will take some time before you can earn some real money for yourself.

How Does My Millionaire Mentor Work?

It is clear from the promotional video on the website that the product is basically a free traffic source that you will get unlimited access to if you become a member of this program. The other benefits include special coaching by Ryan Matthews over the phone. He will personally mentor you on how to best use his product and maximize the profits for yourself. Once you become a member of what Matthews calls a secret millionaire club, you will have access to the various tips and tricks that will help you to make money. It is also mentioned in the video that the way in which you will make money is 100% legal, moral and ethical.

So once you have access to the free traffic source, you will get clients who will pay you $1000 to $5000 a day for sending them traffic over the internet. Internet traffic is basically all the clicks that lead people to different website. According to Ryan Matthews, he has access to clients who are ready to pay that much amount of money for access to your traffic. In effect, you will be an internet traffic broker who will work with millionaire Ryan Matthews to coordinate internet traffic and redirect it to your clients.

Basically, it is an opportunity where you will be doing affiliate marketing. Affiliate marketing is an actual money making source on the web where you get paid for traffic that you send to your client’s website. And if you have access to a good traffic source which you can turn on or off at will, it is possible that you will make a lot of money online.

There are six steps to making this work – but that is classified information which you will get access to once you become a part of this program.

How Can You Make the First $500 Through My Millionaire Mentor?

In the promotional video, Matthews promises you that once you become one of the private members of the My Millionaire Mentor program, you will earn $500 and much more in the first month. In fact, you can around $5000 a day, without even leaving the comfort of your home. And to top it all, you just need a computer with an internet connection to do this job.

In order to become a private member, the entry fee is $1000. But in effect, you pay only $49 because you are refunded $500 immediately. You get your money back immediately, and Ryan Matthews guarantees that you don’t have to spend a penny more than $49 to get into this program.

Matthews also tells that by becoming a private member, you will get to be a part of a highly regarded company that is going to be the next big billion dollar internet empire in times to come. Though it is a speculation, in the internet age, anything is possible.

The process which Ryan Matthews is going to teach you is actually a very simple process which many people have used on the internet in order to make money. It is called affiliate marketing. Affiliate marketing is basically a process through which you send traffic to the websites of your clients. And for each click that leads a person to your client’s website from your source, you get paid a certain amount as commission. And if you have access to a source from where you can send millions of clicks to your clients, you will seriously earn a lot of money online. So, technically, My Millionaire Mentor is a concept that could actually earn if you serious money if Ryan Matthews actually handed out a free traffic source to you.

Pros and Cons of My Millionaire Mentor

It is evident that this is a program which appears to have some sort of risk. But then, that is life. There are certain risks that one has to take, especially if you want to be a millionaire.

Technically, Ryan Matthews is asking for just $49 from you for getting access to a private group where you will be coached on the secrets of making money on the internet. This scheme does not have an MLM structure, and you need not sell anything. It is absolutely legal, and all you have to do is broker internet traffic.

Moreover, once you sign up, you get an immediate return of $500, which is a very good proposition. If you really get that money, it is a fantastic deal. Especially since you could go on to make more money in following months.

One of the cons of this entire program is that by watching the promotional video, you get to know very little about the process. There are many things which are not spelled out clearly, which makes it difficult to take the plunge and actually subscribe to the scheme and be a part of the millionaire mentor club.

However, the testimonials from the various people who have tried this out spells out that there are people out there who are making money from this program. And that is exactly what makes you want to go ahead and try it.

Another con of this program is that earning money through affiliate marketing can sometimes be a very slow process. But this is something that Matthews tells you in the promotional video itself. It is a long term investment plan whereby you will take some time to earn money.

But on the other hand, Ryan Matthews is also promising to let you on into a secret six-step process which will make the money making process much faster. So once become a part of the secret millionaire club and get to know the secret process which gives you access to more traffic, you might be able to make serious money online. And the success stories that are shared in the promotional video clearly say that people are making money quite fast. In fact, one woman said that she made more money through My Millionaire Mentor in two months than she had made in two years.

Now, that is something!

The biggest minus of this entire project is previous experience. Whenever we hear about something that promises to give us a lot of money without working hard, it raises our suspicions. Also, there are thousands of scams on the internet which make a fool of people who do not have sufficient knowledge about the topic and subscribe to various programs hoping to make money. In the end, they realize that all of it was a scam.

Conclusion

The good thing about My Millionaire Mentor is that you get to see people for whom this process has worked, and that tends to give you some courage to go ahead and take the plunge. What you need to do is hear Ryan Matthews for yourself. Go to his website and have a look at his promotional video. If you feel that what he is saying is worth giving a try, you can go ahead and become a private member of the millionaire club. It is a conscious decision that you need to take for yourself, now that you already know the pros and cons of the program.

If you think that this is yet another money-making scam on the internet, don’t sign up for it. However, if you think that this program really has the potential to completely turn your life around, go ahead and become one of the protégés of Ryan Matthews. After all, every one of us dreams of having a Lamborghini parked at our garage, and a wonderful, spacious home from where we can see the sunset with our loved ones. There are some dreams that can be fulfilled when you become a millionaire, and if you are a person who nurses such dreams, you might want to try out My Millionaire Mentor to see what’s in store for you.

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Source by David Morgan

Views: 0

February 3, 2020
Giving a Great "Walk Around" Sales Presentation

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Salespeople should know that a walk around isn’t just a presentation, it is a chance to discover the customer’s needs and turn your product or services features into a benefit for that customer.

Learning good selling techniques takes practice and learning how to give a “walk around” sales presentation is essential to the sales process.

An excellent walk around presentation is not a canned presentation. It has been said, “A good walk around presentation doesn’t work because it’s canned; it got canned because it works.” That’s what a walk around should be – not canned, but planned. Salespeople need to know where they are going all the time. Hopefully they can help guide the customer down the Road to the Sale.

Before we can attempt a presentation we must understand what a “feature” is and what a “benefit” is. A feature is what something is – a benefit is what something does. Let’s use automobile sales as an example. So let’s look at some car sales techniques. A “walk around” occurs when a salesperson pulls a vehicle out of the line of cars in front of the dealership. The salesperson opens the doors, the trunk, and the hood. They turn on the car and get the A/C running in the summertime (or the heater in the winter time). They take the customer and tell them about the vehicle as they walk around it.

The aerodynamic styling of a vehicle is a feature; great gas mileage and a quiet ride are the resulting benefits. A lot of salespeople are good at reciting features, but not at explaining why the customer needs them – and this is for two reasons. One is they don’t know enough about the car and the other is they did a poor job qualifying the customer’s needs. Ask questions of your customer. Ask what they want from their next vehicle and listen to what is said.

How can a salesperson enthusiastically talk about the double steel cargo box if they don’t know what the customer is going to use the vehicle for? They can’t.

In a typical selling situation a salesperson might say something like, “Yes sir, this car has everything you’re looking for: a fuel efficient engine and a hands-free Bluetooth communications system. It also has ABS brakes, limited slip rear axle, and terrain management.” Sounds all well and good, right? Wrong. There is nothing your salesperson has told this customer that 1,500 other salespeople and brochures and Internet research haven’t already told him.

So the customer looks at the salesperson like a deer in the headlights. He doesn’t know what he is what he is supposed to say, except what he is probably thinking, “I can see all of these options, Mr. Salesperson. Tell me something I don’t know.” You see, when the salesperson recites his or her cornucopia of knowledge, it isn’t a question so it doesn’t really move the sale forward. He is just repeating what the customer told him he wanted.

The customer’s only response is, “Yes, Mr. Salesperson, I can see it has everything I asked for. How much is it?” Or worse yet, the customer may say nothing. The worst thing that can enter a walk around presentation is silence. When there is silence, there is pressure and in the selling process, we want no pressure. As I mentioned many times, the only common ground a customer has is the price. When you stop talking, the only thing they can say is how much… or goodbye.

To do an excellent walk around, salespeople need to remember the thing the customer wants to know more than anything, “What will it do for me?” Until you tell customer that answer, then he is probably isn’t listening.

Back to the walk around – how long did it take me to recite the options above, 30 seconds? What do I do now? I am out of things to say. Obviously there are lots of options and I could probably go on for a while, but even if I could memorize them all on every model, the customer will be yawning. Why? Because he wants to know what it will do for him. If salespeople are just going to recite options, they would be better off to hand the customer a brochure and send him on his way. The brochure is better than a salesperson will ever be at features. They break down the passenger compartment to cubic inches for heaven’s sake! When it comes right down to it, does the customer even care that there is 28 inches of legroom? No. But he will be interested to know that, “Because of the transverse mounted engine, Mr. Customer, when you and your family take that trip to Colorado this summer you can really stretch out your legs!” That is how you sell legroom. Note: Without asking good questions, how could you make the above statement? But here’s the good news: you can make that statement even more powerful in two ways – by moving the sale forward and by asking for the order.

There are many ways to move the sale forward, but here are a few. These are simple phrases that keep the customer following you:

“Let me show you this feature on your new Ford Explorer.”

“Let me show you this,”

“Let me show you one more thing,”

“Great, follow me.”

Ask for the order, it is quite simple, for example:

“That’s a feature I’m sure you’d like, isn’t it?” The customer says, “Yeah!” The salesperson says, “Great, follow me,” or “Great, now let me show you one more thing.”

The above question is one which you should already know the answer. Use it with a feature the customer wants, for example, seat belts, air bags, crumple zones, etc. A customer just won’t say no to seat belts.

During the sale you are always closing — in sales terminology that means you are always asking the customer for the order. For example, a very successful salesman in a 20-minute presentation will ask the customer in several different ways, in more than a dozen times if they want to buy the vehicle.

Some of the best closing techniques to use during a sale are called tie downs. Some call them trial closes. A tie down is simply a question at the end of a statement that demands a response. Instead of saying, “Those airbags are a wonderful feature.” In the eyes of a customer, this is just an opinion. But, if I added, “Aren’t they?” to the end of that statement, it forces the customer to respond, hopefully in a positive way.

Or, “On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the highest rating, how would you rate this vehicle so far? What would it take to make that number a 10?”

However, sometimes a customer may say something that implies that they don’t like the vehicle. For example, “Oh, that looks like something else that will break.”

One way to handle these “objections” is to address the issue with the “Feel, Felt, Found” response. For example, you might respond by saying, “I can see why you might feel that. A lot of people have felt the same way, but once you’ve found out the engineering behind, you’ll see how beneficial this can be for you.”

These few tips will build the foundation for a confident walk around presentation.

– Learn your product inside and out, research what’s being said about your product on the internet.

– Get to know your customer’s needs in the initial greeting and qualification.

– Present with confidence and tie the features back to their needs.

– Help make their needs become their wants.

– Remember to refer to competitive brands and create value.

– Take full advantage of your product expertise when doing a walk around presentation and SELL yourself and your product.

And remember, selling is a process of listening to customer needs, finding solutions to their needs, building value you in your product or service, and giving them an opportunity to buy that product or service that serves their needs!

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Source by Vincent Hennigan

Views: 0

February 2, 2020