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Minimalist Cooking – Kick the Marketer Out of the Kitchen

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Minimalist cooking is about simplicity. It is about reducing everything from ingredient lists, shopping trips, anxiety, social fears and more.It is about not letting these tyrannies and the greatest overarching tyrant of all, the marketer, from sucking the lifeblood out of something that should be life affirming, a source of great fulfillment and above all else fun. Remember that it is the marketer who tells you that you have to be the provider of perfection at the dinner table otherwise you are a bad parent, a failure, someone who should be shunned by strangers and disowned by your children. Haven’t got that expensive spice in the rack? Well, you’ll just have to lose a couple of hours driving to the store, guzzling gas, polluting the planet, raising your blood pressure and exhausting yourself to the point where you will enjoy neither the cooking, the eating or the socializing that should all be the highlights of a day. Alright, that was a little over the top but the point is important. We really do need to get out from under the Marketer, he is not our friend.

Banishing the marketer leaves room for all sorts of other stuff, exciting stuff like your own thoughts and decisions. The marketer would have told you that you had to have a rice cooker because that is the only way to cook rice and, more importantly, that your social group would have regarded you as an abject failure if you didn’t have one. Now you can make a decision firmly based in logic. Marketers hate logic. Are you going to be cooking rice more than once a week? If so a rice cooker would be a good purchase, once a year and it would be best to muddle through with a saucepan. It is not complicated. Incidentally, if some in your social group does regard you as an abject failure for sticking with the saucepan it is probably time to subject them to the process described.

Now, try this process with the stuff that currently takes up shelf and cabinet space in your kitchen. Do you really use that pasta strainer often enough to justify the space it takes up? Do you need fifteen saucepans and five frying pans? or a tool for every single kitchen related task that you may or may not do in your lifetime? Throw the excess out. On second thoughts don’t throw it out, give the rice cooker to your friend who does cook rice everyday and take the rest to the local thrift store.

Now, extend this process to your cooking ingredients and you are well on the way to having a minimalist kitchen. Kick out the marketer and the rest will follow. Space will appear in your kitchen as if by magic but perhaps more importantly a space will be created inside your head for you to fill as you please.

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Source by Steve A Wolfe

Views: 0

January 23, 2020
Understanding WineShop At Home: Can You Really Make Money With WineShop At Home?
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WineShop At Home began in 1995 and offers a large variety of wine and wine related products in addition to a business or income opportunity for those that would like to make an income stream marketing their company or products. However, can you really make money with WineShop? To answer this question, we will take a look at their compensation plan. I will also explain the products and give specific explanations of a few of them while also going over the cost it’s going to take to actually join the company itself and start making money all from home, if possible.

The Thing:

You guessed it, wine! Other than wine, they also offered wine related products and gifts. Categories of items offered by WineShop At Home are Wine Related Accessories, Gifts, Specials, Stemware, Personalized Wines, and of course, Wines. I will give a brief explanation of a few of the products offered by the company below.
1. Adagio 2014 Sonoma Country Pinot Gris – You can get a bottle of this wine for $24.00 and flavors in the bottle consist of Mango, Pineapple, Grapefruit, Meyer Lemon, and Bergamot.
2. Wine Country Chefs Apron – This apron is also $24.00 and is listed in the gift category. It comes in black and with the WineShop At Home Logo in addition to the slogan “Bringing The Wine Country To You” printed on the front.
3. Artisan 5 Star “Sparkler Stem” – This is a set of 4 and cost $69.95 and is in the Stemware category. It is designed to develop persistent bubbles and forms a crown at the surface.
The Opportunity:

If you become involved with this company, you will be given the title “Wine Consultant”. Now is time for the big question! Can you really make money with WineShop At Home? In order to answer this, as mentioned before, we must take a look at their compensation plan. For this company, their compensation plan is pretty basic so let’s go ahead and get the ball rolling.
1. Personal Commissions – As a wine consultant you will be able to earn a Base Commission of 20% and will be eligible to earn bonuses up to 35%.
2. Team Commissions – As for most network marketing companies, you can build a team to leverage even more income. You can earn up to 44% commission from your teams generated sales and will be eligible to earn cash bonuses up to $3,500.
To Conclude, Yes, You Can Make Money With WineShop At Home!

The Cost:

Yes, there is a cost! It’s important to remember, if you get involved or affiliated with this company you are opening up your own business! All businesses require some type of start-up fee. However, in the industry of Network Marketing, Affiliated Marketing, Multi-Level Marketing, or whichever name you decide you enjoy more, it is generally much more affordable than starting a traditional company in which can range from $5,000 to $10,000 easily.

If you want to get involved with WineShop At Home, you must purchase one of the three kits offered!
1. Mini Kit – $79.00. This kit includes a Wine Tasting Guide, Wine Tasting Training DVD, WineShop At Home Corkscrew, 3 Posi-Pours, 5 Host Planners, 10 Interest Forms, 5 Host A Wine Tasting Brochures, and a Guest Wine Tasting Tablet.
2. Starter Kit – $149.00. This kit includes a WineShop At Home Logo Messenger Bag, 2 Bottles of Wine Club Select, A Wine Tasting Guide, A Wine Tasting Training DVD, WineShop At Home Corkscrew, 10 Order Boards, 3 Posi-Pours, 10 Interest Forms, 5 Host Planners, 5 Opportunity Brochures, and a Guest Wine Tasting Tablet.
3. Premium Kit – $299.00. This kit includes an Insulated 6-bottle Wine Carrier Bag, A Launch Tasting Sampler, 4 Bottles of Wine Club Elite, Personalized Wine Sampler, WineShop At Home Apron, Wine Tasting Guide, Wine Tasting Training DVD, WineShop At Home Corkscrew, Wine Away, 15 Order Boards, 6 Posi-Pours, 20 Interest Forms, 10 Host Planners, Host Postcard Invitations, 10 Opportunity Brochures, and a Guest Wine Tasting Table.
Final Thoughts:

I’m not a big drinker. Matter of fact, I don’t drink expect maybe once a year. However, I would still consider marketing their products just for fun. I know a ton of people enjoy drinking, alcohol, and more specifically, wine! Therefore, I believe this company has a Massive Market! A massive market is very important to look for before joining any company like this and if it doesn’t have a massive market you will likely become frustrated before making any actual money!

The opportunity affiliated with the company is honestly pretty weak. They only offer two different payouts. I was unable to find any referral bonuses, any leadership bonuses, any Match-Up Bonuses, etc. This company started in 1995 and it doesn’t seem they have expanded their compensation plan very much which is a problem. I like companies and feel secure and motivated about companies that constantly expand. This does not seem like a constantly expanding company, at least in terms of their compensation plan. You can definitely make money with WineShop At Home but how much depends solely on two different payout systems.

The cost is nice. I like the fact that they have 3 different ways to begin. The price can be either expensive or inexpensive depending on your budget and what kind of business builder you are. In comparison, a traditional company has a much higher start-up fee regardless of which kit you choose from WineShop At Home. Additionally, in terms of Network Marketing the cost is also quite affordable and you are able to get a good amount of items with each kit.

*Dustin Hale is NOT affiliated with WineShop At Home or their business/income opportunity

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Source by Dustin Hale

Views: 0
January 22, 2020
How To Sell More Affiliate Products As A Blogger

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As a blogger, if you are selling affiliate products in a bid to maximize your passive income potential, there may be several things that you could be doing to improve it even more.

Selling affiliate products allows you to put the links on your blog and receive commission whenever somebody buys that products or other products through clicking the link on your site.

Here are some of the ways you can sell more affiliate products as a blogger.

Make It Personal

It has been statistically proven that people are much more likely to buy (or avoid) something after reading a personal review. With that in mind, rather than just posting some objective comments about the products you are promoting as an affiliate buy them and try it out for yourself.

You can then write about what you liked and didn’t like, and people who follow your blog religiously will really value your thoughts. You could even contact the seller and come to an agreement regarding free trial products for you to review on your blog.

Write About Other Things

If everything you ever write is centered around a product and why other people should buy it, you will struggle to make much money through affiliate marketing.

People want to read something that sounds genuine, so only review and promote the products that you really believe in. Your blog will stand out and sound more real, and you’ll be able to benefit from quality buyers and readers.

Give Things Away

This can vary depending on what your blog is about, but you can give away free guides, tutorials, checklists, newsletters, magazines, or even physical goods sent out in the post. By giving free things away on your blog as well as promoting or reviewing the pricey items for sale, your readers will come to regard your blog as something fun and exciting, rather than just a platform for trying to get commission from them.

Offer Something Extra

If you really want people to buy the item through your blog rather than through the website of another affiliate marketer, you’ll need to offer something extra. People will buy without hesitation if they feel like they’re getting a really good deal. This could be your own personal guide to using the item, or it could be a small extra that you like to use with it and will send out to all buyers separately.

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Source by Jon Allo

Views: 0

January 22, 2020
Importance Of Cash Control

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Cash is a vital component of any profit-generating organization. An organization’s assets generate revenue, which in turn generates cash inflows. These cash inflows are used for several purposes: to pay creditors, compensate employees, reward shareholders, provide asset replacement, and provide for growth.

Cash is unique because it’s the single asset that is readily convertible into any other type of asset. Therefore, it’s also the most widely desired asset. However, cash is also the asset that is most susceptible to fraud and abuse. Therefore, management has to ensure that adequate controls and safeguards are in place to eliminate any unauthorized transactions with cash.

Fortunately, there are ways management can safeguard the cash generated by its organization. Each of the following methods will help an organization prevent losses due to human error or theft:

o Monthly bank reconciliation

o Segregation of duties over cash handling

o Accountability for cash shortages

o Authorized cash disbursement

o Internal audits

Monthly Bank Reconciliation. Monthly bank reconciliation will help ensure that the amount of cash generated by an organization is consistent with bank records. In addition, an independent review of the reconciliation by management will provide an additional safeguard. Independent verification of bank reconciliation acts as a check to make sure the reconciliation was done properly and ensures there is no abuse of the organization’s cash.

Segregation of Duties Over Cash Handling. Every organization must make sure that there is adequate segregation of duties over cash handling. Separating the duties of cash receipts and disbursements prevents an individual from committing and concealing embezzlement.

Accountability for Cash Shortages. Management should hold supervisors accountable for cash shortages. If supervisors know that they’ll be held accountable for a cash shortage, they’ll be motivated to keep a close eye on how cash is used within their departments.

Authorized Cash Disbursement. Management should allow cash to be disbursed only through checks issued by authorized signers, which will provide a method for tracking cash usage. In addition, your organization should require signatures on all checks in order for them to be valid.

Internal Audits. Every organization should arrange to have internal audits conducted on a regular basis. Whether the auditors come from an internal audit staff or an outside auditing firm, auditing an organization’s accounting system can identify how effective and accurate the operation is and whether or not any improvements need to be made.

ESTABLISHING A QUICKBOOKS CONTROL ENVIRONMENT

QuickBooks allows more than one user to access company files. (Conceptually, an unlimited number of users may have access to the company’s data files, but only five users may work with the data at the same time.) When multiple users will have access to the company’s QuickBooks data files, it generally is necessary to create a control environment that protects the data from unauthorized use. For example, some users may not need access to sensitive payroll data, while others may not need access to accounts receivable and sales information.

One of the best ways to prevent errors when posting transactions in QuickBooks is to limit access to specified users. If passwords and access permissions are not assigned, users have unlimited access to all areas in QuickBooks. When setting up QuickBooks, one user should be designated as the QuickBooks Administrator.

The QuickBooks Administrator has unlimited access to all areas of QuickBooks and assigns passwords and access permissions to other users. The name and password for the QuickBooks Administrator can be set up by selecting “Set Up Users” from the “Company” menu. The QuickBooks Administrator must be set up before any other users can be set up. Although QuickBooks does not require the use of passwords, the QuickBooks Administrator should set up and use a password since anyone logging in to the company’s QuickBooks files as the administrator has full access to all areas in QuickBooks. After setting up a name and password, the QuickBooks Administrator should click the “Closing Date” button in the “User List” window and enter the date through which books are closed in the “Accounting” preferences dialog box. The administrator can also password-protect the closing date (requires single-user mode). When this feature is enabled, QuickBooks requires users to enter the password before they can make changes to periods that have been closed.

The QuickBooks Administrator is the only user who can:

o Set up other users.

o Change other users’ access permissions.

o Set up a company file using the “EasyStep Interview.”

o Change company information (such as company name, address, fiscal year, tax year, tax form, and federal identification number).

o Change company preferences.

o Condense data.

o Import and export data.

o Apply for QuickBooks Merchant Account Services.

Note: Since the QuickBooks Administrator has the ability to password-protect the entire company’s files, has access to all accounting functions, and assigns access to all other users, the company should carefully consider whom to select as administrator. The person selected should have an understanding of the importance of this position on the internal control of the company. Some companies designate the controller or Chief Financial Officer as the QuickBooks Administrator because those individuals normally do not have direct interaction with the software.

The QuickBooks Administrator can set up additional users and specify the areas to which each person has access. To do so, select “Company” from the menu bar and “Set Up Users.” Then click the “Add User” button in the “User List” window. Assign a user name and password for the new user. Even though QuickBooks does not require the use of passwords, each user should be set up with a password that must be used when logging in to the company’s QuickBooks file. (An unlimited number of users can be added, but only five can have access to the company’s data file at the same time.)

After setting up the user name and password, the administrator then specifies whether the user will have access to selected areas of QuickBooks or all areas of QuickBooks. The user should not be given access to all areas of QuickBooks since that permission essentially establishes a second administrator allowing users to access the following:

o Sales and accounts receivable.

o Purchases and accounts payable.

o Checking and credit cards.

o Inventory.

o Time tracking.

o Payroll and employees.

o Sensitive accounting activities such as bank transfers, general journal entries, and online banking.

o Sensitive financial reports.

o Changing or deleting transactions.

o Changing closed transactions.

Note: Even if users need access to most of the preceding areas, they should not be allowed to change closed transactions.

Rather than giving users access to all areas of QuickBooks, the QuickBooks Administrator should give users access to selected areas. In that case, the QuickBooks Administrator specifies whether the user should be given no access, full access, or selective access to each individual area listed in the preceding paragraph. If the user is given selective access in a particular area, the QuickBooks Administrator also must specify whether the user can (a) create transactions only, (b) create and print transactions and forms, or (c) create transactions and create reports.

Sensitive Accounting Activities. Users generally should not be given access to sensitive accounting activities. Such activities include:

o Maintaining the chart of accounts.

o Working in the account register for balance sheet accounts.

o Reconciling accounts.

o Making journal entries.

o Using the “Accountant’s Review.”

o Transferring funds between accounts.

o Using online banking.

o Creating budgets.

o Printing registers.

o Condensing data.

Even if users are given full or selective access to sensitive accounting activities, they cannot create financial reports (with the exception of the “Payroll Report”) or change or delete previously recorded transactions. Those permissions must be assigned separately, as discussed in the following paragraphs. The QuickBooks Administrator generally should be the only user with access to sensitive accounting activities.

Sensitive Financial Reports. Users generally should not be given access to sensitive financial reports (such as the balance sheet, profit and loss reports, budget reports, cash flow reports, income tax reports, and audit trail reports). That access allows users to create all reports and graphs available in QuickBooks. However, even users with access to reports cannot change or delete transactions included in the reports. That permission must be assigned separately, as discussed in the following paragraph. The QuickBooks Administrator generally should be the only user with access to sensitive financial reports.

Changing and Deleting Transactions. Even if QuickBooks users have full access in a particular area, they cannot change or delete transactions in that area unless they are given that permission in the “Changing or Deleting Transactions” window. For example, a user with full access in the sales and accounts receivable area cannot change invoices or sales receipts unless they are given permission to change or delete transactions. However, even if users do not have permission to change or delete transactions, they can change or delete transactions they entered in the current QuickBooks session so that quickly identified data entry errors can be corrected. Users that are given permission to change or delete transactions can alter transactions only in areas in which they have access. For example, users that have access to the inventory area but not to the payroll area cannot alter payroll transactions even if they have permission to change or delete transactions. The QuickBooks Administrator generally should be the only user with permission to change or delete historical transactions.

If a user is given permission to change or delete transactions in areas in which they have access, the “Changing or Deleting Transactions” window also asks whether the user should be able to change or delete transactions recorded before the closing date. The QuickBooks Administrator always should deny users access to such transactions by selecting “No” in response to that question. Even when “No” is selected, users can view prior-period transactions in QuickBooks areas to which they have access. If “Yes” is selected and the administrator sets a password, the user will be required to enter the password.

Viewing Data. QuickBooks allows the QuickBooks Administrator to limit a user’s access to creating sensitive financial reports or creating and printing sensitive reports. Companies can use this feature to allow the Controller, Chief Financial Officer, or another person independent of the accounting function the ability to oversee the accounting operations. Because many companies frequently have small accounting staffs, this increased oversight can mitigate some of the risk to the system of internal control created by having limited segregation of duties.

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Source by Leigh Ann

Views: 0

January 22, 2020
Addiction To Unrequited Love
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The Torchbearer – S/he will love me one day

It sounds silly for one to be addicted to unrequited love, but it can sometimes be the result of growing up in a household where love was either conditional or not consistent. As a child, the “torchbearer,” may have been always trying to win the love, praise or affection from a parent (or someone else influential) who was unavailable, abusive or failed to provide proper nurturing…. or the child could have witnessed one parent in a sort of unrequited love relationship with the other and could have taken that energy on. If it wasn’t an issue of childhood environment, then possibly some sort of other trauma occurred to upset the torchbearer’s self-esteem and their ability to feel safe receiving love. It can also result from a sudden and unexpected separation, betrayal, health, or appearance issue.

At an existential level, the torchbearer may have developed a belief that they are not worthy of love and they may find themselves attracted to love situations that seem to keep them stuck in this dynamic: loving someone, but not able to fully receive love back. Although the person feels unworthy of love on some level, often they know they are worthy on another level, which the torchbearer then may become confused as to why they stay addicted to an unavailable person. The relationship then becomes about fantasy, idealization, avoidance, or a love-hate relationship ensues where the addict both loves and disapproves of the object of their devotion.

According to love addiction expert Susan Peabody, the main categories of love addictions include:
- obsessed love addicts: obsess and can’t let go even if their partners are unavailable or abusive
- codependent love addiction: needy to please partner for sense of self
- narcissistic love addicts: take advantage of their partner and can act disinterested, selfish or abusive and yet still feel addicted to partner and can’t let go
- ambivalent love addicts: this category includes unrequited love addicts (also known as “torch-bearers”), saboteurs, seductive withholders, and romance addicts. The main goal through this kind of love addiction is the avoidance of true deep emotional intimacy and bonding. These addicts crave love and affection, but are afraid to get too close at the same time.
Unrequited love addicts are part of the category of Ambivalent Love Addicts. Susan Peabody was the first to create the term “Ambivalent Love Addiction”. Her book “Addiction to Love: Overcoming Obsession and Dependency in Relationships,” is an amazing book for anyone wishing to learn more about love addiction.

To be an ambivalent love addict, or torchbearer, means that one deeply craves love, intimacy, commitment, and unconditional love. However, at the same time, one has fears of relating deeply to another person. Such love addicts can end up pushing love away or holding it at a distance. Subconsciously, it can feel much safer for these individuals to love someone who isn’t fully there or who doesn’t want a full-on commitment. Picking an individual who is married, committed to another, distant, a player, a saboteur, or a sex addict may act to help the torchbearer avoid a true relationship. Some torchbearers end up addicted to friends or colleagues and hope the relationship will become something more.

With many of the torchbearers that I have read, I find there is usually an excuse to continue chasing the love interest. However, there is also always a counterproductive excuse for never letting the love interest know their real feelings. It is even possible that if the object of infatuation actually returned affection or expressed desire for commitment towards the love addict, the love addict might not crave the interest anymore. One popular excuse that I have heard reads something like: “getting what I wanted or asked for took too long, therefore I no longer trust the love interest anymore, so I no longer want a relationship.” Once the love interest gives up, separation anxiety sets in again. Why does this occur? An illusion has been broken and the person idolized has become more human and less of a challenge to the ego.

The torchbearer runs the risk that even if they obtain the object of their desire they may not achieve the closeness or intimacy they desire unless they change why they were addicted in the first place. Sometimes the addiction simply changes. An addict may transform from a torchbearer into a seductive withholder. They can even start becoming a codependent love addict if the once unrequited love relationship begins to become real.

So, how do you know if you are addicted to unrequited love?

What are the symptoms? The symptoms listed below are not comprehensive, but ones I typically see with clients (usually women):
- Do you obsess over or find yourself only attracted to love interests who are not available in some way or who are married, playing you, who are “just friends,” or have left you?
- Do you fear communication or to let the person know your interest in them, feelings, and other basic questions for fear of rejection or to keep the fantasy going? Or do you find yourself communicating but unable to accept a lack of response or a non-commital response without hoping if you wait long enough you will be wholly wanted?
- Do you suffer in silence while you hold adoration towards someone who doesn’t really know? Some unrequited love addicts pursue their interests opening and ardently, but others can hold torches for people who they will not let themselves get close to nor let themselves be revealed in any real way.
- Do you expect your love interest to be psychic/empathic and to just know and interpret your feelings and needs, even though there has been no grounded communication? Are you living out your relationship psychically or vicariously through “signs” or empathic feelings that the other person may be thinking about you, even if there is no contact?
- Do you find yourself always hoping and waiting for the other person to make an interest in you known?
- Can you never feel “close” in a real way to the person you are holding a torch for?
- Are you always living out the relationship in your head?
- Are you continually asking yourself many questions, wondering about the other person feelings and intentions (or potential future intentions) without ever grounding anything to test to see if any fantasies are real?
- Do you have other addictions, such as to sex, psychics, alcohol etc?
- Do you feel you cannot let go of the love interest even though it is not making you feel loved? Do feel powerless to stop at will.
- Is the preoccupation with this interest having a more negative affect on you spiritually, financially and other ways than positive? In the end, are you losing more than you gain?
- Do you have a history of being hurt or obsessing on lack of love, attention or approval by a parent or someone else influential in your earlier life?
- For those with less intense expressions of this addiction: are you confused why you only seem to attract or are attracted to unavailable people or people who are not 100% wanting a relationship? And with this, do you feel bored with people who are into you or once a relationship starts to develop? Does it seem that all the people who would be right and loving towards you, you cannot “fall in love” with?
If you have an “interest” that you crave but are afraid to reach out to in any real and genuine way for fear of rejection, then you might be addicted to unrequited love. You may also be addicted if there is an underlying knowledge that expressing your wants and needs would not be appropriate. I’ve talked to many clients who are totally engaged with these types of interests, sometimes even sexually. But, usually they know on some level there are certain things they cannot ask/dare put forward cause the relationship is casual though they want something more. Though the “craving” is not always required, this article is mostly written for the hard core unrequited love addict.

Here is an example of one kind of non-communicative unrequited love addict who does have some relationship and interaction with her love interest:

A woman starts to like an attractive man. They meet and there is some flirting — the man seems interested to the woman. Information is exchanged followed by mixed signals that mark the relationship. The woman starts obsessing and fantasizing about having a relationship with the man. However, the man won’t make a clear move and the woman ends up doing most of the contacting to keep interaction ongoing. The woman acts casual because she wants the man to make his interest known first. She is getting some cues of affection and indication of interest, but it’s kept superficial and she is always unsure. This goes on for some time, sometimes months, and she starts thinking “Does this guy really want a relationship or am I just casual or a friend?” Despite feeling a sense of unknowing and distress, the woman will never risk asking to find out. She starts asking advice from other friends who tell her to forget about the man, but she hangs on in hope he will ask for a real date or commitment or show he cares.

The man is simply not putting out vibe of wanting a full-on relationship. However, she starts to fantasize that maybe he is just scared, can’t communicate or is insecure. She fantasizes that he will start to be more demonstrative or want something more if she can just hang in or never upset the status quo. She even wonders, “should I say something or make a move”, but something inside is telling her it’s not safe to tell this person how she feels because they are not on the same page, so she withholds keeps holding a torch for this person. She finds out the man has started to pursue someone else and she feels upset and feels betrayed. But, still, she has never had clear indication they are in a “relationship.”

In the worst cases of unrequited love addiction I have seen, the client is addicted to psychics, using spell casters to cast spells to make their love more available, or are even asking for healing sessions on the person they are addicted to hoping healing something in their love interest will change the reality of what is going on.

What Can You Do If This Sounds Like You?

Often, I see two main themes running in these relationships: fear of true communication (or fear of accepting a communication or lack there of), and fear of vulnerability & rejection. Many times I also recommend torchbearers learn how to set boundaries and how to respect others boundaries. If the torchbearer is holding on waiting for a “sign” or demonstration from the love object, afraid of giving up, learning communication would help with getting out of fantasizing a relationship and making it more real. In the least, the torchbearer can get closure, if the love addict’s desires are not reciprocated.

Getting closure isn’t always an easy thing for a love addict. It is often considered to be a harsh rejection. Many frightened unrequited love addicts wish to avoid being hurt at all costs. However, with this cost, these love addicts avoid true intimacy and relationships.

Most unrequited love clients I work with have a shut down throat chakra. They may have been raised or learned through some experience that expressing feelings or needs is a burden on others, a sign of weakness, inferiority or something to be afraid of. Codependent types are afraid to cause any sort of confrontation or rejection for themselves. However, the only way out is through. The crux is that this dynamic is used to avoid another hurt or rejection and this continues the cycle of avoiding true commitment, intimacy and bonding.

Step 1: Communication With Yourself

The first step is for the torchbearers to ask themselves what they truly want from a relationship. What is their vision of how they want to be loved and committed to? This step may be one of the hardest. The unrequited love addict may be so used to avoiding confrontation that asking them to figure out what they want and need seems strange. Torchbearers ask themselves “How do I get someone who doesn’t care to do so? How can I be better? More lovable?” Simply leaving an unrequited love may not solve the problem either. It may just transfer the love addiction from one of pursuing the unrequited love interest to holding a torch and suffering in silence while pining after the loss. They may remain stuck, wondering if maybe this person is still missing them or thinking of them and it gives them hope for reconciliation.

Step 2: Communication With Your Love Interest

If communication is possible to ask for closure, this is the next step. I recommend asking in direct ways and not just looking for “signs.” State what you want out of love and a relationship, and ask the object of your affection if they feel they will ever be able to give it. Risk hearing the truth and risk rejection. This helps break the fantasy and though may be incredibly painful, it is the next step towards risking true intimacy and attracting the right relationship and breaking through all the fears that prevent it from coming. The whole idea of love addiction is the belief that without love one is nothing. If one can risk losing love and still see themselves as whole, then one can start going into relationships with sense of self as a sole identity which another can complement, rather than feeling another will complete them.

Fear of intimacy (getting to know someone deeply), commitment, communication, rejection, boundaries, and confrontation needs to be challenged. Love addicts can also seem like perpetual victims or trauma junkies. So healing the need to be a victim is key too.

Taking on the challenge of learning to set boundaries, risk confrontation and rejection, to communicate ones wants and needs (and listening to another’s – which this might be the real fear) may seem overwhelming. But, it is the only way out. All of this should be targeted, in addition to working on childhood issues, which implanted some of these fears and patterns.

Step 3: Accepting What Is Communicated Back or Any Lack Of A Response

Sometimes, the love addict at this stage may have been totally clear with their love interest what they want and they still feeling or receiving mixed signals. The person of their infatuation may be ambivalent, stringing them along, or afraid to just be honest and give them the closure they need. Sometimes there may be a lack of response — ie: an email is sent to the love object who appears to be avoiding sending a response back. In these cases, aim for setting a boundary for yourself on how long you will wait for what you need and stick to it. Be willing to recognize when you need to either end a relationship or at least bring it down to a more casual and detached level while you pursue other options.

For those who find they are always making clear what they want and are still waiting to receive it or feeling unheard, the lesson may be in knowing when its time to stop voicing your needs and wants realizing they will not be met or cared for. Just affirm to yourself as much as you can that you can and are willing to find someone who can meet your wants and needs.

Step 4: Changing and Challenging One’s Views on Love

I also recommend changing how one views love. There is something self-absorbed in all the withholding and holding on. It is focused on fear and self-protection instead of love or generosity and true interest in another person and their needs and feelings. Many love addicts actually fool themselves into thinking their co-dependence is proof that they are being more loving than anything else. However, love is about extending and exposing oneself in the face of rejection and providing a safe and open place for someone else to extend and expose themselves. Love is not manipulative, wanting to change people or situations or waiting for such situations or people to change.

Love is not about being a martyr either. If you can’t take a risk to know anyone else or have them tell you their wants and needs, or accept or listen when they are not on the same page, how can you expect someone to care and listen concerning your own wants and needs?

Not all unrequited love addicts are afraid to state their wants, needs, and boundaries. But, often what can happen is the torchbearer is always stating needs and boundaries and they are not listening to what is being conveyed back. They keep hoping the love object will change, mature, or outgrow his detached stance.

A Few Self-Help Healing Tools

While one can always benefit from professional therapies, coaching, and alternative healing sessions geared towards transmuting thought patterns, there are a few healing tools that can be used to assist recovery from love addictions (feel free to look for others as I only mention a few here).

If one has ever used “flower essences” before (a form of homeopathy), Australian Bush Flower Essences (www.abfeusa.com for more information) has a “Relationship Essence” which contains the following:
- Boab: helps bring change, helps clears negative core patterns that are rooted in family and which are inherited. Can also help clear negative lines of karma that exist between individuals and past life influence.
- Bluebell: is for those who cut themselves off from their feelings and helps to open the heart and to disolve greed and rigidity. Emotions are present but withheld and there is even fear of expressing positive emotions such as joy and love, etc through operation of fear that there is just not enough and they can’t survive if they let go of all they hold onto.
- Bottlebrush: helps one to resolve mother issues and helps one embrace major life changes. It brushes away the past allowing individuals to move on and go forward.
- Bush Gardenia: helps one to renew passion and interest in relationships. Helps with intimacy, and resolving where there is too much self-interest or lack of awareness in a partnership.
- Dagger Hakea: Is for helping on to release resentments, bitterness and grudges.
- Flannel Flower: is for those who fear emotional or physical intimacy, getting too close and who have a hard time maintaining personal boundaries. Helps one to garner trust to express ones innermost feelings.
- Red Helmet Orchid: Helps for resolving father issues, probelms with confrontation or authority.
- Red Suva Frangipani: Is for the rocky relationship that is challenged and is also for resolving deep sense of loss and sadness when a relationship is in trouble or has ended. Helps to heal that feeling of Wedding Bush: Is for issues with commitment to a relationship, job, goal etc. It can be used for individuals who tend to flit from one relationship to another, or for those who leave relationships when the crush phase or initial attraction has diminished.
A book I highly recommend is Addiction to Love: Overcoming Obsession and Dependency in Relationships by Susan Peabody (co-founder of LAA).

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is another tool that can help with love addictions. EFT can be easy to learn for free from demonstrations on YouTube or free downloads on various sites.

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Source by Mandy Peterson

Views: 0
January 22, 2020
I Quit Wealthy Affiliate! – Are You One of These Quitters?

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There are some people who quit Wealthy Affiliate and that’s just normal because not everyone aren’t going to be comfortable with their learning system. You know that earning some serious money online is a possibility right? It’s not your fault if you’re not having results because the so-called gurus would like you to believe that there’s a magic pill to online success.

In this article I would like to share with you my observations of those people who are quitting Wealthy Affiliate. If you’re looking for some information on why people quit WA then this is going to be an important article that you must read. You really don’t want to be wasting your time and money on something that you’re not prepared for.

One group of people who quit WA is those who are looking to get rich quickly online. This group of people will always exists because let’s face it, almost everybody wants some instant gratification and sadly they’re not willing to work hard for it. If you think that you belong in this group then you better start snapping out of it.

If you were in my place you would get really shocked because there were really some members complaining about the system inside Wealthy Affiliate. Some of them have been inside for only a few days up to a few weeks and yet they had the nerve to call WA a fraud. But that was back when the membership was under $40 per month.

Back when the monthly fee was lower, many people jumped right into WA because they were seeing a lot of positive reviews from other successful members. I hope that you already know that it’s ultimately up to you whether you’re going to be successful online or in any areas of your life. Don’t let anyone take care of your destiny.

Another group of individuals who give up Wealthy Affiliate are those who are in a rush to learn everything all at once. You can spot them because they will complain about the slow pace of the WA action plan which is roughly 2.5 months before you can finish it. They think that it’s WA’s way of making them stay longer but it’s really not.

Now if you’re someone who has some urgent expenses or bills to pay then you shouldn’t dive right into Wealthy Affiliate or into making money online. You’re going to have a real difficult time into learning this business if you’re in some kind of pressure to make some money. If you have the right type of mindset then your success is inevitable.

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Source by Raymond Selda

Views: 0

January 22, 2020
Living Alone with Hemiparesis

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Safety would be the primary concern of course when people with hemiparesis live alone or are alone for extended amounts of time. Of course your first references are your doctor, physical therapist and occupational therapists especially. This being stated, I can offer insights on some important items to consider in practical aspects of living alone after a traumatic brain injury or a stroke that result in a severe muscle weakness along the left or right side of the body and is sometimes exhibited in slight nerve damage as with me. Perhaps instead of living by them selves, it would be better to consider us living independently. At this writing, I will have reached almost thirty years of living with hemiparesis. Most of this time I was living alone and working as an engineer and writer, author.

For us, the detrimental effects of hemiparesis are still prevalent even after initial rehabilitation and limited recovery. The effects can change with extreme variation.

Effects When Tired or Awoken

When the body is tired, effects can be worse and certainly more dangerous when living alone. An example is if awoken in the night, maybe by thirst, a call, or other concern. Even a healthy person could possibly stumble on sleepy legs or with eyes half open, but for those with left or right hemiparesis, the negative effects are magnified. A stumble can turn into a fall and possibly a head injury since one arm has poor strength, does not react quickly and is not likely to stop a fall. If a foot drags slightly during the day with shoes, then it can be so much worse at night even so unsafe that the person will roll over the toes so as to bruise them and fall forward on the weak side. Lessons learned here emphasize the need for uncluttered floors and hallways. A stray shoe on the floor or even newspaper can prove disastrous. Either could throw off the balance suddenly for a waking person especially in the dark.

This brings up a suggestion for low level lighting in the home or apartment. Economical battery operated motion detector lights are available at many stores now or a search online. Even if a cane is not needed during the day; it would be wise to have a cane near the bed, even a quad cane for late night awakenings or an early morning rising. In the morning, there are other issues as tightened up leg muscles that need stretching before safely moving.

Shower and Bathroom Safety

Morning stretching is important, especially as we who are injured age but more importantly, shower safety needs to be addressed. There is much assistive devices available and occupational therapists can communicate effectively the needs here, however I can give you my thoughts. These are that it can be quite scary at times, especially if you have had an accident, falling in the shower, tub or bathroom before. You will need to be able to have something within reach on your good side to grab onto, basically at all times. Please note that if you can’t use the screwed in support rails and use the bars with suction cups, you really need at least two bars together. Redundant support as these are known t slip and when you have water or soap in your eyes and reach out with the bar slipping, it can be devastating. I would recommend having a bar on the entry or exit and on the opposite side. This way if a person with hemiparesis turns around there is always a bar on the good side.

But it does not stop there. Bathroom floors are usually smooth surfaces and with one foot having no or minimal grab, then any water on a smooth tile or marble surface is like ice and can easily cause a fall when drying. Rubber backed rugs are most often used but can bunch up under feet. A work around solution for these throw rugs is rubber strips with adhesive on both sides. The local hardware store will have some rug grippers or search the web

Dressing

This is an area again where an occupational therapist assures you are prepared with any assistive devices for reaching around the weak side or fastening in back and collar. However, I can emphasize that so much more time needs to be available, just in case. Even though, there are assistive devices and there is ample training in doing this usually available before even leaving the hospital.

Food Preparation, Cooking Kitchen Safety

One’s ability to prepare meals will vary. I understand it’s good to be independent but in the kitchen it just may be smarter to minimize preparation with knives or stovetop. Even the oven can cause burns and fire easily. Having a cardboard pizza box fall onto a hot broiler iron can start a fire that is not too easy for someone with a disability to put out quickly. Sure there are now small convenient fire extinguishers available but some often need two good hands to operate correctly and then even finding it quickly can be an issue for trauma, brain injury or stroke victims.

Fortunately, there has been an improvement In microwave dinners. This certainly would not be your first option in the past. However, I have been at this for almost thirty years now and I really have seen a great variety come on the market and costs go down. Good, healthy dinners can be cooked in one minute. I still bake chicken and pizze plus a few others but safety really needs to bethe forst priority. Losing balance and reaching out to find as hot frying pan to lean on can happen and I have personal experience, it’s not a quick heal having a burn in the palm of your good hand. Agsin here as in the bathroom, a rug with rubber backing and rug grabbers should be required.

Mind Body Health Needs

Concentration and Focus are the key in most everything that the person with hemiparesis might have to overcome. That is why ongoing brain training is so important.

Human interaction, relationships contribute greatly to complex usage of our brain and even helping to stay young. Well living alone minimizes this benefit ad over time can have an adverse effect. Sure, some will say the upward potential may be limited but start with the objective of not losing ability. Without regular exercise, mind or body can atrophy to borrow a term used to describe not using muscles.

There are free and paid sources on the web. There are now brain improvement magazines at the local supermarket and brain games are popular and effective, most even for one hand use.

Geographic Area Specific Issues

Depending on your locality, power outages can occur during natural events mostly as snow or ice storms, hurricanes, tornadoes. When living on the eastern coast, I lost power even when their was a high windstorm. Natural events as this can have an impact on people living with hemiparesis just as they do for others with a disability, elderly or families in general. However preparedness is the key here and living alone increases importance of having battery lighting, food, water, cell phone, radio, all available and easily attainable in possibly in the dark.

The power loss may be worse in cold weather for this condition as detrimental effects can disable some people with this extreme muscle weakness and possibly nerve damage. This varies of course depending on person or injury but in general arms and legs can start shaking uncontrollably and a serious limitation to mobility. Poor effects are also exhibit in sudden changes of weather. Each person may experience this differently but a check with your physician is best.

To assist in times as these, warm clothing, even a safe generator where it can be installed in a home as a backup are suggestions with heat packs available at sporting good stores or camping supply shop.

Summary

Some of the techniques and tips outlined here may seem obvious to some or simple but they are not always thought of ahead of time before they are used. This is evident in support forums online, knowing individuals and my own thirty years of living with hemiparesis. There are of course more but in general, consideration that movements can be slow at times as can thinking. An important point is if there is a loss of balance or tripping, it will most likely be on the weak side which of course doesn’t react fast nor have enough hand strength usually to hang on to something firmly. This is why safety is the first priority when living alone with this injury.

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Source by Leon Edward

Views: 0

January 21, 2020
The Thirteen Steps to Riches, Napoleon Hill – A Brief Look at Each

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In his book “Think and Grow Rich”, Napoleon Hill talks of the Thirteen Steps to Riches. This information is still as relevant today as it was at the time of publication. This article looks at each of the steps briefly.

Step 1: Desire

You need to have a burning desire to achieve success. If you are tentative and timid, then it is not true desire. Have a definite and specific goal for what you want to achieve, and stick to it. Have a plan for how you are going to achieve that goal.

Step 2: Faith

Have faith that you really can achieve what you desire. If you have truly believe it, then it is more likely to manifest itself.

Step 3: Autosuggestion

Have a mental picture in your mind that you have already achieved what you desire. By replaying this consistently in your mind, you will gain the faith that you need to achieve it.

Step 4: Specialized Knowledge

Knowledge is not power, it is potential power. It becomes power if that knowledge is used, and put into definite plans of action. Take the time to learn what you need in order to become an expert in your field of expertise. Associate with others who are already experts and learn from them.

Step 5: Imagination

Albert Einstein said “Imagination is everything. It is the preview to life’s coming attractions”. This sums it up beautifully. If you can visualise what you want in life, and then focus on it, it should become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Step 6: Organized Planning

Once you know what your goal is, you need to have a definite and practical plan for how you are going to achieve it. Put the pieces in place that will help you achieve your success.

Step 7: Decision

Come up with a firm decision and stick to it. Don’t let others make your decision for you, and don’t delay your decision or procrastinate.

Step 8: Persistence

Lack of persistence keeps many people from great accomplishment. Keep working towards your goal, no matter what obstacles get in your way. Many people give up the minute they reach the slightest obstacle. You have to keep rising above the challenges thrown at you, and keep focusing on your end goal.

Step 9: Power of the Master Mind

Often those that are close to us will send us off course with their opinions and ridicule. Surround yourself with like minded people, who are all working towards a common goal. By doing this you create synergy, which is an unstoppable force.

Step 10: the Mystery of Sex Transmutation

There are a number of different stimulants that increase the intensity of our thought way beyond the realms of ordinary thought. For example love, a burning desire for fame or financial gain, music, fear. The most powerful of these stimulants is that of sex.

Step 11: the Subconscious Mind

The thoughts you have determine what you get in your life. Focus on your plan, and imagine that you have already achieved it.

Step 12: the Brain

It has been said that we only use somewhere between 5 and 10 percent of our brain. The rest of our brain power forms the subconscious mind, which is what we need to tap into in order to achieve the successes we desire.

Step 13: the Sixth Sense

The ability to use the sixth sense is gained when you apply and master all the previous steps. It takes time to develop it, and it is not something that can be switched on and off at will.

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Source by Kathy Munslow

Views: 0

January 17, 2020
Three Little Known Facts About Shabby Chic Style

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Shabby chic is an interior design style that incorporates worn, antique furniture and vintage accessories to create a design that is both elegant and popular. Items are chosen for their worn appearance and are often heavily painted throughout the years, with many layers showing through. Fabrics are usually cotton or linen, also showing wear and tear. Neutral colors, and often soft pastels such as pink, blue, and green are the trademark of this unique style.

History

Although the shabby chic style has become very popular over the last 35 years, its roots actually began in the early 1900’s when in Great Britain, many large, stately country homes and their contents were left to fade and age due to financial difficulties of the home owners. It wasn’t until the 1980’s, however, that this popular style got its name. During this time, many people had a desire to express how much class and taste they had. By incorporating the ‘chic’ interior style into their homes, they were able to boast classically vintage furniture that had a history.

Fact: Not As Old As You Think

Shabby chic furniture is not always old or antique. Many new pieces are distressed (made to look old) to give them a vintage, antique look. By applying white glaze and paint, and then scrubbing and sanding the top layers, especially around the edges, furniture can be transformed from something new and modern to something shabby chic. In addition to transforming new furniture, many people buy used furniture at thrift stores and garage sales to create beautiful shabby chic furnishings for their homes. The style is all about simple elegance and incorporating a variety of pieces to create a look that is unique.

Versatility

One of the best things about decorating your home in the shabby chic style is it does not have to be expensive. It is very easy to mix and match several different pieces to create a fresh look for your home without spending a lot of money. Because it is so versatile, it works well in almost every room of your home, including the kitchen and bathroom. From vintage armoires, to a dining table and chairs, the shabby chic style of decorating adds elegance to your home that is inexpensive and attractive.

The shabby chic style of interior decorating is here to stay for quite some time. Trends show that the style has increased in popularity over the last 35 years, and continues to do so. Whether it is a single piece of furniture, an entire room, or a house-wide theme, the shabby interior design style with its deeply rooted history, will surely make a statement in your home.

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Source by Kevin P Webster

Views: 0

January 17, 2020
Improve Dental Health by Eating the Right Foods
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How are Tooth Cavities Caused?

Eating right can help prevent the two most common dental problems that people typically struggle with: Cavities and gum disease. Tooth decay (that eventually leads to cavities) is caused by accumulation of bacteria in the mouth. This bacteria comes from the food you eat and acts on the sugars contained in food (this is why sugary foods are not good for teeth).

The acid produced slowly eats away at your tooth enamel and then the internal part of the tooth called the dentine. Finally, over a time, the tooth gets ‘eaten away’ by acid and chips off, leaving behind a hole or cavity. Cavities are often hotbeds for bacterial infection and can lead to severe tooth ache.

Moreover, bacteria from the mouth may enter your body through the saliva or the bloodstream leading to other health problems.

What is the Relationship between Food and Dental Health?

A balanced diet gives the body the right amount of nutrients. Nutrients help the body revitalize its immune system and this in turn boosts resistance to dental diseases.

Calcium helps build teeth and the jaw. A person who eats a diet poor in calcium is more likely to develop dental problems. To help the body absorb the calcium, the diet should contain adequate amounts of vitamin D. Lack of vitamin D in the diet can lead to dry mouth, burning sensations and a bitter taste in the mouth.

Iron is also necessary for nourishment of blood vessels in the mouth. Deficiency in iron may lead to ulcerated sores and inflammation of the tongue. Vitamin C also helps in absorption of iron.

Adequate amounts of Vitamin B2, B12 (riboflavin)and B3 (niacin) can prevent bad breath and ulcers. So your diet should ideally contain all these nutrients. eating the right foods can stave off dental problems and reverse tooth decay.

Which Foods are Good for Dental Health?

The following foods are good for improving dental health:
- Milk, yoghurt, cheese, oysters, beans – These contain calcium and phosphates that help re-mineralize teeth and also strengthen gums
- Nuts, bran, red meat, liver – These foods contain high levels of iron
- Pasta, spinach, chicken, fish, almonds – These are concentrated sources of vitamin B2, B12 and B3
- Pears, sweet potatoes, red peppers, Kiwi fruit and oranges are great sources of vitamin C
- Celery stimulates the salivary glands leading to production of saliva. Saliva dilutes concentration of bacteria. Celery also acts as a natural floss and cleans between teeth
- Raisins are excellent sources of oleanolic acid that discourages the growth of oral bacteria
- Onions have a strong antibacterial action due to the sulphurous compounds they produce. They are best when eaten fresh and raw.
Which Foods are bad for Dental Health?

It’s advisable to curb intake of the following foods:

Carbonated Soft Drinks: Soft drinks, canned iced teas and diet colas all contain flavor enhancers. Although diet sodas contain much less sugar than their conventional counterparts, they contain tooth-enamel eroding acids, namely phosphoric acid and citric acid.

Alcohol: Feeling dry-mouthed after last night’s party? That’s the alcohol working to dry up salivary secretions. Ensure that your mouth is protected from excessive dryness by using rehydrating rinses or simply by drinking a lot of water.

Candy bars, lollipops and toffee bars: Any sweet that involves prolonged sucking and chewing is bad for teeth. This is not just related to the sugar content (although that’s bad too). The longer the sugar stays in the mouth, the worse it is for your teeth – the bacteria get to metabolize the sugars for a longer time.

Summary

To put it in a nutshell, take care to avoid acidic and sweet foods. If you want to drink orange or grape juice, suck it through a straw and swallow it straight down the throat. Swishing it around the mouth is more likely to give your teeth an unwanted acid bath.

As a precaution, rinse your mouth with clean water after drinking or eating sugary or acidic foods. This helps get rid of the acid deposit on the teeth and prevents tooth decay.

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Source by Nirupama N Raghavan

Views: 0
January 17, 2020