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  • What Can I Say To Make My Husband Understand The Pain That His Cheating Has Caused?

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    It’s very common from me to hear from wives who are struggling to explain to their husbands just how much his cheating or affair hurt them and caused them pain. But often, their husband doesn’t react in the way that they were hoping for and they are looking for a way to explain their feelings so that he actually understands them.

    I recently heard from a wife who said, in part: “I have repeatedly tried to explain to my husband the depth of and reasons for my pain after his infidelity, but he either doesn’t want to hear it or he’s not understanding what I’m saying. Sometimes, I pour my heart out to him and try to explain how he has hurt me and all I get is blank stare back or empty assurances that he really is trying. This is so frustrating to me because I need him to understand the extent of my pain so that I can have some reassurance that he’ll never cheat again. I want him to understand why I sometimes act in the way that I do because of what a grave mistake he has made. But part of me thinks that he’s unwilling or just incapable of hearing me. How can I explain my pain in a way that he’ll actually understand and be willing to listen?” I’ll address these concerns in the following article.

    Pick The Right Time And Know That, Once You Start Repeating Yourself, Your Words Lose Their Effectiveness: I hear from both wives who are faithful and husbands who are not on my blog and I can tell you that if you are constantly talking about your hurt and pain, eventually, even the most sincere husband will begin to tune you out. One reason for this is that no one wants to constantly be reminded of the pain that they have caused. And husbands will often want to place their focus on moving on while the wife wants to place her focus on understanding and digging a little deeper.

    This doesn’t necessarily mean that the husband doesn’t care about your pain or just doesn’t want to hear it. But, at least sometimes, he hears your words as accusations. He might constantly hear that his selfishness and weakness has hurt you deeply and this just isn’t a message that he wants to hear on a continual basis, day after day. Men will often give comments like “she constantly wants to tell me how much the infidelity has hurt her. I do believe and understand that and I’m sorry for it. But, do I really need or have to listen to what an awful person I am every single day? How many times does she need to explain where I went wrong or how awful I am before she will feel satisfied that she’s said it enough? I tell her I’m deeply sorry. I listen. But it doesn’t seem to be enough and we repeat this process constantly.”

    I’m not telling you this to imply that you can’t regularly discuss and try to work through the infidelity. I’m telling you this because I want you to understand the obstacles that are in your way and the dynamics that are at play here. If you really want your husband to listen and to take your words to heart, then sometimes you have to pick the right time and limit the message so that it has the maximum impact.

    Consider What Your Husband Is Actually Going To Hear Before You Say The Words: I alluded to this in the previous paragraph, but sometimes the message that your husband hears has more to do with your tone and your delivery than the words that you say. So you might say something like “your infidelity has hurt me deeply. It’s made me doubt your integrity and your love and commitment to me. It’s affected my self esteem and my level of trust. And I’m not sure when things are going to get any better.”

    But what he hears is often something more in line with: “your poor decision to cheat on me has ruined my life and will probably ruin our marriage. You are an awful, selfish person with very little impulse control. And your actions have caused me so much pain that I might not ever fully recover. Because of this, I am going to feel pain and resentment every time I look at you or even think of you. And, this is going to be our lot in life from this day on because I don’t anticipate any changes.”

    These examples might seem a little extreme, but they aren’t that far off from the comments that I hear. An unfaithful husband can hear a message that you never intended. And because of this, he is often somewhat resistant to that message. Of course, the wife will often take this to mean he isn’t listening or he just doesn’t care and so she will continue to repeat herself with more feeling. And of course, this just keeps the cycle going. She doesn’t feel heard and he feels beaten down and neither person is getting what they want or need.

    If you think about it, what you probably really want is to feel heard. You want for him to know, understand, (and even feel) your pain because if he does, he’s less likely to cheat again and more likely to show the remorse that so many of us really want and need. So, think about what’s most likely to accomplish this.

    You don’t want to come across as too accusatory or too despondent because unfortunately, these things will contribute to him feeling defensive and to tuning you out. Instead, you want to use “I” phrases so that it sounds as if you’re talking responsibility for your own feelings and you’re not just trying to lay on the blame or make him feel continuously guilty for the rest of his life. And, you want to choose the time when your message is most likely to be heard. You don’t want to try to explain yourself in the middle of a fight or when you’re main goal is to hurt him. I’ve found that the message is often more likely to be heard if you say it when things are going a little more positively and both people are calm.

    An Example Of What To Say To Express The Pain His Cheating Has Caused: An example would be something like: “if this is a good time, I’d like to briefly explain how much your infidelity has hurt me. I’m not doing this to punish you or to paint you as a horrible person. I love you and don’t think you’re an awful person, but I need to feel as though you care enough to hear me. And I need to know that you truly understand so that you will hesitate to cheat again. Having someone who you love more than anything betray you in this way is something that is more devastating and hurtful than I could have ever imagined. It calls into doubt things about your marriage and yourself that are just devastating. Can you even begin to put yourself in my shoes and imagine that the rolls were reversed? Because I need to know that you understand how much pain I’m in so that we can begin to move forward once and for all. I don’t intend to keep bringing this up, but before I move on, I need to know that you truly understand.”

    Phrasing like this is much more likely to get the response and the understanding that you are after. But you can only play this card so often before your husband begins to tune you out. So once you’ve laid your cards on the table, it’s best to begin to move forward so that your husband can see that you’re sincere about not using your words to continuously punish him.

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    Source by Katie Lersch

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  • Why Monitor Your MLM Reputation?

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    As you build your business your reputation will come under fire at some point. Your MLM marketing plan must include reputation monitoring. By including this key element, you can deal with the trolls and prospects that have decided to say something negative about you. Ignoring these complaints will damage your business and drop your trust. You need absolute trust to make business happen, being transparent isn't enough. Your reputation is at stake. A business that operates with a high and clean reputation will see success.

    The High Stakes of a Bad Reputation

    When you have a bad MLM reputation, you will lose business. That is the reward for dealing shady with prospects. Others like to use slander campaigns and this is an unethical practice and it can hurt if ignored. Your ability to react in a positive fashion is important to calm the waves as it ripples. You can't do this with negative retaliation content. This will look like a slap fight in the eyes of prospects, so there is a different way to handle this. You can debunk the misinformation by providing valuable content that answers the slander or complaints.

    Hopefully in the best cases, all issues will be sent to you directly by email or phone. This is easier to deal with, but there are many people that love to ring the "foul" bell for no reason at all. You will have to deal with these people, gentle but firm. The content that you produce to help build your reputation is just as important as marketing material. Be transparent like water and answer all questions with as much detail as possible. One sentence answers don't work, stuffed answers will show your lack of knowledge. Be careful as you tread through the land mine. It is easy to add credit to the accuser's content. There are professional reputation managers that can help you in this field, but it won't be cheap.

    Managing your Reputation

    You can set up search engine alerts under your MLM business name and wait for stuff to roll in. This is the easiest way to watch for content that is directed towards your business. You can then review the material and make appropriate responses toward the material. You should also respond to positive content as well. You don't have to write a book in return but be thoughtful in your responses and try to respond quickly, so prospects can see your rebuttal towards the statement of the individual.

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    Source by David L. Feinstein

    Views: 0

  • Type 2 Diabetes – Five Healthy Sugar Swaps That Help Fight Diabetes!

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    Eating wisely is one of the most potent ways to fight against the effects of Type 2 diabetes. Both what you eat and how much you eat. Do you know saturated fats and refined sugar make up about a quarter of the average person’s caloric diet?

    Sugar is found in everything, and unfortunately, if we are not careful about the foods we consume, we can wind up adding excessive amounts of refined sugar to our diet. Foods like yogurt and even salad dressing, usually deemed as “health foods,” are often notorious for containing added sugar. However, there are ways you can avoid adding these foods to your diet by making your recipes at home, and by using healthy sugar swaps to sweeten your recipes.

    Let us take a look at five healthy sugar swaps you can use in healthy baking and to sweeten things like your morning cup of coffee or your morning bowl of oatmeal.

    Five Healthy Sugar Swaps…

    1. Raw Honey. Raw honey is an excellent natural sweetener, and unlike processed sugar, it contains added health benefits. Raw honey holds impressive antibacterial and antiviral properties making it a great food to support your immune health. You can use raw honey in place of refined sweeteners in your baking recipes, drizzled over oatmeal, or mixed into your morning tea.

    2. Pure Maple Syrup. Pure maple syrup is another excellent sugar alternative as it contains vitamins and minerals and tastes great when used in healthy baking recipes. Try using pure maple syrup in place of refined table sugar when you make treats like muffins, or use to sweeten a bowl of unsweetened yogurt.

    3. Stevia. Stevia is another natural sweetener option that comes with the benefit of having zero carbohydrates. A little goes a long way when it comes to using Stevia in your recipes, and is an ideal option for anyone who wants to stay away from sweeteners containing added sugar.

    4. Bananas. Bananas are another healthy sweetening option as they are naturally sweet, complement many baking recipes and provides fiber to help slow the absorption of carbs.

    5. Blackstrap Molasses. Blackstrap molasses is incredibly sweet, and it also contains some added health benefits. Molasses is rich in iron and can also help support digestive regularity. When it comes to using molasses, you only need a small amount, so start with a teaspoon or so.

    You would be surprised at how all of these natural sweeteners complement your recipes and how easy it is to avoid processed sugar when you add these to your diet. However, keep in mind even though these are natural sweeteners; they are still sources of carbohydrates, minus the stevia. Just be mindful of using these in moderation, and you will be doing your health a tremendous favor by choosing natural sweeteners over the toxic and inflammatory refined sugar options.

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    Source by Beverleigh H Piepers

    Views: 0

  • Best Tips On How To Cure Psoriasis From The Inside

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    Psoriasis is a disease that is difficult to treat because it is still not very well understood. Despite this, there are many treatment therapies that have been developed despite there currently being no “cure” yet. There are also various natural psoriasis treatments that have proven to be very effective for many psoriasis sufferers to keep flare-ups at bay. One of those is to use diet which many believe is one of the best ways on how to cure psoriasis from the inside out.

    How to Cure Psoriasis from the Inside

    Using food is an essential part of not only promoting general health and wellbeing but is also important to prevent various diseases and conditions. This is because various foods contain essential vitamins and minerals that boost the immune system and in addition for psoriasis, have various skin healing properties.

    Using the right foods is important. Especially those that are organic and free of chemicals and antibiotics as well as saturated and trans fats.

    Though many doctors may not believe that a healthy diet alone will cure psoriasis, they do believe that if making certain dietary changes provides some benefits, there is no harm is following a diet for psoriasis. Especially in the current absence of a psoriasis cure which makes it crucial to try various remedies to see whether they will work for you that are both conventional and unconventional.

    Following the theme of using natural remedies that may work to heal your skin from the scourge of psoriasis, here are some of the best tips on how to cure psoriasis from the inside out;

    1. Turmeric

    One of the top recommended remedies on how to cure psoriasis from the inside AND outside is turmeric. This is a spice that is native to India where it has long been used in the ancient traditional healing practice of Ayurveda in addition to its common use in various culinary dishes as it gives curry its yellow color.

    There are many seemingly unbelievable stories from various people that have used turmeric for various diseases and conditions including psoriasis touting this spice’s benefits for healing. So if you are struggling with psoriasis, you may want to give turmeric a try.

    The active ingredient that is believed to be responsible for turmeric’s healing properties is curcumin.

    Curcumin is a very rich source of antioxidants which help to prevent the activity of free radicals in the body. Free radicals represent oxygen molecules that cause harm in the body by damaging healthy cells as a way for them to live and thrive in the body. The damage may increase the risk of developing various diseases and conditions including various cancers, arthritis, diabetes, osteoporosis, Alzheimer’s disease, as well as psoriasis.

    Turmeric helps to reduce inflammation in the body which is why it is believed to be one of the most effective remedies for psoriasis whose development is considered among various other reasons also related to the level of inflammation in the body.

    As mentioned earlier, turmeric can be taken internally as well as applied externally to the psoriasis lesions. Either method or both is said to be effective. For internal benefits, turmeric can be added to any food or drink e.g. to stews, cereals, oatmeal, salads, stir-fries, to smoothies, green juices, etc.

    To apply turmeric topically, make a paste with the turmeric and apply to the lesions and cover with a plastic wrap or adhesive and leave for a few hours or overnight and wash off. When used topically, depending on your skin tone, you may notice a yellow caste especially if you are very pale which will dissipate eventually.

    2. Cold-water fish

    Another of the top tips on how to cure psoriasis from the inside out is related to a discovery by researchers that certain deep sea cold-water fish such as salmon, tuna, mackerel and herring when consumed by people with psoriasis, reported a reduction in their various symptoms of psoriasis.

    While it is not very well understood why these oily fish are healing for the body and skin, it is believed that the omega-3 fatty acids that they contain are responsible.

    Omega-3s seem to be able to reduce the amount of certain compounds in the body – leukotrients and prostaglandins – that cause skin inflammation. Salmon has an especially high amount of omega-3s but the other oily fish previously mentioned are also beneficial. It is recommended that you eat 3 to 4 ounces of these oily fish per week.

    If you prefer omega-3 supplements, the recommended daily amount is about 3 grams. Be sure that the omega-3 supplements you use contain EPA (eicosapentaenoic acid) and DHA (docosahexaenoic acid) which are long chain fatty acids that are especially beneficial for various skin conditions including psoriasis.

    Do not overdo the consumption of these oily fish or omega-3 supplements because high doses of fish oils can affect the body’s blood clotting mechanism so check with your doctor to make sure that the regimen you follow is within safe limits.

    3. Beta carotene

    While it is highly recommended to cure psoriasis from the inside by consuming more fruits and vegetables, certain vegetables rank a little higher. These are vegetables and fruits that contain beta-carotene such as tomatoes, carrots, spinach, cantaloupe, beet greens, winter squash, sweet potatoes, etc. Any colorful fruit or vegetable usually obtains its color from beta-carotene.

    Research has shown that those who ate at least seven servings of tomatoes were able to reduce their risk of developing psoriasis by a whopping 60 percent! For carrots, the reduction in risk was still high at 40 percent and the same for fruit consumption at 50 percent.

    Beta-carotene as well as vitamins C and E that these vegetables and fruits contain provide antioxidant activity in the body in addition to helping boost the immune system so that it is better equipped to fight off disease as well as to improve skin. Beta-carotene in particular is converted into vitamin A which along with vitamin E are known as the skin vitamins as they help to maintain the tissues that make up the skin.

    4. Low-calorie diets

    These are beneficial especially if you are overweight. Obesity is a factor in how you will respond to psoriasis treatment and the severity of symptoms of psoriasis that you will develop. It has been noted that people with psoriasis who are obese take longer to respond to treatment and psoriasis lesions return more quickly after treatment is stopped.

    Following a low calorie diet does not mean starving yourself. It means making better choices with food and avoiding high calorie foods such as fast food, various processed foods, fried foods, etc.

    5. Mediterranean diet

    There are many diets that are followed around the world that seem to present no health problems for the people who follow them around the world. The only diet that has been shown to increase the risk of developing various diseases and conditions is the Western diet, so any move away from this diet can be beneficial for your health.

    One of the most recommended diets which is one of the best ways on how to cure psoriasis from the inside out is the Mediterranean diet. This is one of the most complete diets that will provide you with most if not all of the nutrients you need every day. The health benefits of the Mediterranean diet arise because of its focus on fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, fish, chicken and olive oil all of which are foods that are beneficial for the body and can help heal skin.

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    Source by Terry Robbins

    Views: 0

  • In the Know: Health and Wellness Website Legalities

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    When Health Consulting Businesses are Legally Responsible

    One thing the internet is infamous for is being a source of advice for our health and well-being.

    It doesn’t matter where we turn there is someone with a website telling us what to do to lose weight, slow down ageing or treat our illnesses.

    We all do it. We aren’t feeling well so we type our symptoms into “Dr. Google” and voila, thousands of results telling us we have everything from a common cold to 6 months to live. We then take our results in hand to our doctor and tell him what we have.

    Sadly, professionals in the health care industry, doctors, therapists, dieticians and nutritionists all have an everyday fight with misinformation that is provided on the internet.

    If you are a blogger and have some experience with health-related issues, you may want to share this information with the world.

    Or, you may be a professional with some education on certain health-related subjects and want to use that information to boost your business online.

    Either way, you have to be very careful to follow the rules when it comes to providing health and wellness website information and advice to the masses.

    Legal Responsibilities for Providing Health-Related Advice

    So what are the legal issues for health consulting and coaching businesses when providing health-related information on a website?

    There have been more than a few lawsuits in past years that have stemmed from sharing of health and diet advice with others on the internet.

    In a recent lawsuit in North Carolina, a blogger changed his life and had experience with managing his Type 1 diabetes through use of the Paleo diet. He blogged about his efforts and when successful, he took his blogging a step further and began to share his meal plans and exercise regimens.

    Eventually, he began providing one on one sessions to advise his readers in the ways of his experience for a fee.

    In North Carolina, there is a misdemeanor law that makes it unlawful to practice dietetics or nutrition without a license. This blogger was charged with breaking this law and North Carolina Board of Dietetics/Nutrition is now threatening him with prison.

    Research All Governing Bodies’ Rules & Regulations

    When providing health and wellness information online, you must ensure you are following all the rules.

    Each governing body has separate rules on what information you can and cannot advise the public with regarding their health.

    Canada and the United States both have specific federal laws and then each province and state also have their own separate laws.

    If you are going to provide information, then you must look up those laws according to where you live and where you are doing business from. And to take it even a step further, you then you have to consider the audience you are targeting.

    A good guideline to follow if you are providing information on your health-related website is to ask yourself, are you being specific to a particular personal health situation. The blogger in the North Carolina lawsuit was doing OK with providing his personal experiences with the Paleo diet.

    His suggestions for exercise regimens or providing his personal diet plans on his health and nutrition website may even have been OK with the law but as soon as he started consulting one-on-one with individuals and providing advice, he was beyond sharing his personal experience and fell into the realm of providing medical expertise in an area where he was not legally certified to engage in.

    Remember, giving your opinion about a health-related subject or telling about your specific experience is one thing but if you are claiming to be an expert in anything on your health and nutrition website, you could be held accountable by the boards who are responsible for governing the public education on the subject and run into legal issues.

    You must not in any way claim or pose as something you are not if you are going to provide reliable health information.

    If you are handing out health or wellness advice you need to be very clear about what your education and expertise are and also be very careful of the legal issues surrounding any advice you do give.

    This is where working with a professional web development firm could help steer you in the right direction and ensure you are not posting anything that could cause you legal problems while operating your business. Consulting a lawyer who is well versed in these matters would also be very prudent.

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    Source by Susan Friesen

    Views: 0

  • Relationship Between Brother And Sister

    Relationship Between Brother And Sister

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    Sibling rivalry is the result of competitive relationship or animosity between siblings, blood related or not. It is believed that competition between siblings arises because one of the siblings gets more attention from parents.

    A brother-sister relationship is one of the most beautiful relationships of the world. One finds the best friend, second parent, silly fights, partner in crime and protector in this one relation. In short, siblings are friend and guide to each other. The friendship between siblings is similar to that which exists amongst peers. The possibility of friendship among siblings is great.

    Having a sibling is a bliss. Seriously. They maybe irritating, annoying and what not, but, be sure, if there is a problem, they are the ones who would come first in front of you to protect you. That is how the relationship should be. In a sibling relationship, you have fun and talk but not romantically. There is no sexual attraction but talk and love each other.

    There exist siblings who are friends but there also exist siblings who are separated by rivalry, fight and animosity. Since day one, they are each other’s best friend, greatest arch enemy. There are people who share more affectionate relationships with friends than with their own siblings. The possibility of developing friendship among sibling is great. There are many factors which influence this friendship such as having been born in the same family, having been grown up together, having been educated in the same or similar way. Based on their biological nature, siblings share a mutual affection that comes from years of living together.

    Siblings are simply too precious to waste. They are your longest memory bank, your shared history, the person who may know you better than anyone else. They are so deeply part of your identity that they cannot be erased even when they are not present. Many siblings become estranged and stop seeing one another altogether. That is a pity, indeed. If there is anyone who has grown apart with their siblings, please make efforts to change that situation before it is too late. Yes, it may end in failure – some rifts are too deep to heal. But if you can find a way, you will never regret it. Siblings are too precious to be forgotten because they helped to make you who you are.

    A brother-sister relationship is the most endearing relationship ever in which there is a lot of love, care and fun too. Everyone have nice memories in childhood. There is nothing stronger than the relationship between brother and sister. Brother and sister are childhood friends. Their bonding is very much strong and is never lost.

    A sister is for telling stories and making promises that will never be broken. Being sister and brother means being there for each other in the time of need. For a brother, a sister is his soul mate and the best part of him. A true sister is a friend who listens with her heart.

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    Source by Anil Prabhakar

    Views: 0

  • Waking the Tiger, Healing Trauma, by Peter A, Levine

    Waking the Tiger, Healing Trauma, by Peter A, Levine

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    Many people who have suffered tremendous emotional trauma (for example, the recently bereaved, people in war-torn countries, those who have been tortured or sexually molested) or physical hurt (e.g. severe neglect, debilitating injuries) recover entirely or near completely from their tragedy. However, others do not fare as well and continue to relive the same horrific experiences of morbid fear, anguish, and anxiety for a prolonged period of time. These latter groups of people have been traumatized by their bad experiences.

    In their book, “Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma,” Levine and Frederick (1997), said that this is a result of bottled-up somatosensory symptoms emanating after trauma. There are three main ways people respond when faced with a traumatic experience, said Levine and Frederick (1997). They can fight (confront the situation), flee (get away from the situation), or freeze (be totally overwhelmed by the predicament to the point of immobility). Victims who apply a fight or flee solution to a traumatic experience fare better in dealing with trauma than people who freeze in response to shock (Levine & Frederick, 1997). This state of suspended animation and paralysis occurs unconsciously and involuntarily. During this state of freeze, the victim has no way of going through all the typical reactions associated with traumatic events (Levine & Frederick, 1997). Because they are not adequately discharged by the victim, the trapped emotions wreak havoc on the traumatized individual.

    The solution to trauma is, therefore, to guide the victim along a path (Experiential Sensation-FELT SENSE) that allows them to perceive and release those trapped emotions (Levine & Frederick, 1997). This approach to healing trauma was garnered by learning how animals recover from traumatic experience (Levine & Frederick 1997). Confronting trauma, said Levine and Frederick (1997), should be mostly on an emotional, limbic brain level, and not solely on the rational, executive brain level.

    Levine and Frederick’s trauma theory is also supported in some ways by the polyvagal theory, which suggests that trauma has a somatic experiential component. If, as indicated by the polyvagal theory and by the Levine and Frederick (1997) theory, that trauma has strong emotional roots, one can apply elements of relationship models such as the DIR model in addressing trauma. After determining the victim’s functional emotional development capacity level, a DIR practitioner can begin to appeal, build and strengthen discovered areas of weaknesses, thus allowing the victim to escape the shackling phenomena of a past traumatic event. Calming the traumatized individual is a tool in the DIR toolbox with which to regulate traumatized individuals. A calmed mind creates an opportunity for further regulation of emotions and understanding of deep-rooted feelings, all of which are needed for trauma victims to extricate themselves from the shackles of the past and begin to attain new heights of functional capacity.

    Other applicable trauma theories include the NARM model, which, focusing on the mind, suggests that trauma is associated with a maladaptation in the victim’s attachment history. The PTSD model suggests that trauma victims are applying to their current problems solutions which had worked and were appropriate in the past.

    In my opinion, while attachment and trauma appear as opposite ends of the same emotional realm, it is apparent that whereas attachment is mostly positive, except, for example, in cases of extreme attachment/dependency, trauma is almost always negative, at least until it resolves. Treatment of trauma requires a dedicated practitioner, who is ready to learn from their victims and understand their challenges in order to develop an appropriate management strategy.

    Recognizing the signs and symptoms of trauma, making timely referrals to a trauma specialist, and integrating several of the modalities mentioned would likely give the best result in the management of traumatized children and adults.

    Reference

    Levine, P. A., & Frederick, A. (1997). Waking the tiger: Healing trauma: The innate capacity to transform overwhelming experiences. Berkeley, CA: North Atlantic Books.

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    Source by Anselm Anyoha

    Views: 0