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Why Healing Requires Integrating Our Unconscious Experiences Into The Wholeness Of Our Being
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Nurture The Deepest Part Of Your Core Nature

Healing involves integrating our fragmented parts into the entirety of our being. However, the paradox is: we are not broken but merely disassociated from our wholeness. The term healing denotes restoring what is not functioning as it is intended. When we are caught up in the distorted beliefs about ourselves, it leads to separation or what we consider being broken. In fact, it is merely being separated from the completeness of our true nature. Think in terms of a hologram where the whole is contained in every part. This was an idea espoused by the late theoretical physicist David Bohm who believed the universe is a solid and brilliant hologram. He recognized how each part of our physical reality contained information about the whole. Therefore, our thoughts, emotions, soul and physical body are composed of our soul nature.

How does this idea appeal to you? Are you comfortable knowing whilst you were born whole and pure, through your beliefs, thoughts and experiences it leads to separation? I'm not suggesting it is entirely your fault because we are all bound to experience this. It is said, while our painful experiences are not our fault, healing the pain is our responsibility. Although there's an element of truth to it, we ought to remember there is nothing to heal other than to attend to our unconscious memories in order to return to wholeness. By attending to these aspects, we integrate our known sense of separateness. Release and Renew is a mantra I often repeat in my writing when I discuss healing and emotions. In doing so, we release that which is not conducive to the present moment. Similarly, we renew our commitment to nurture ourselves by connecting with our core emotions. The integration I speak of is an association with our soul nature, which at its essence is pure, whole and knows nothing of separateness or brokenness. It is the egoic mind which disconnects us from our spiritual self to create two identities ie the darkness and the light.

How To Heal Your Fragmented Parts

I am drawn to a passage by the South African author Michael Brown, who writes in The Presence Process : "I dropped my use of the word" heal "because of its connotation that something was wrong and had to be fixed. using the word "integrate," which to me meant there was a part of my experience that was unconscious- a part of my experience that I resisted, controlled, and sedated-which was asking to be incorporated into the whole.Whereas healing felt like I was excluding something from my experience, integration felt like I was embracing everything I experienced . " I believe Brown makes two important points here: we mustn't resist nor control the past, but perceive them as the whole of our life's experience. Second, integration means to embrace or at the very least acknowledge everything that happened to us. Perhaps not right away, but when we are ready to make peace with the past.

What are your thoughts about this? I realize you may have questions related to your personal experiences. Whilst I am not present to answer them, I assure you trying to make sense of them consciously is a healing process rather than an integration process. It is what author Dr. Mario Martinez means when he writes in The MindBody Code: How to Change the Beliefs that Limit Your Health, Longevity, and Success : "The true agents of change are elevated cognitions and exalted emotions. These agents of change provide sustain transformation; in fact, they have triumphed over the greatest infamies and darkest periods in our human journey. " It does little good to dwell on why the past took place as it did. Instead, we ought to turn the tables and consider the following questions as a basis for self-enquiry. Instead of trying to make sense of the past which keeps us trapped replaying painful memories, we identify how the experiences served us.
1. How can I use the past to facilitate my greater growth?
2. In what ways can I use my emotional wounds to bring peace and love to the part of me that is pure and whole?
3. How can I integrate my sense of separateness into the wholeness of my being?
4. Whom do I need to become and let go of to achieve this inner state?
Once we can perceive the pain of the past through the lens of: compassion, forgiveness, peace and love we heal our fragmented parts. It may involve deep exploration into ourselves with or without the guidance of a trained therapist. Considering this, I'd like you to spend the following week journaling your answers to the four questions above. Call it a remote coaching session if you like. Write what comes to mind even if it involves images or symbols. Similarly, pay attention to your dreams via the symbols that appear. Note how you feel within the dream and upon waking. Look for messages in your waking life in the form of people, places and situations that cause you unrest. This is your soul guiding you towards integration. Ultimately, to heal ourselves we must be willing to integrate the pain of the past, so healing happens naturally as nature intended it to.

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Source by Tony Fahkry

Views: 0
November 10, 2022
Stuffed Emotions Don't Die – They Multiply!

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As I work with clients on a daily basis, I am often amazed at how much fear is involved in showing emotion. Granted some people go the other way and completely out of control with their emotions. However, numerous others are entirely out of touch with how they feel. You can tell a person is in this situation because when you ask them the typical therapist question, "And how did that make you feel?" there will be a long pause. Uhhh …. ummmmm … truly the thought of putting emotion to an event is almost impossible for them.

This process can be very frustrating when a person's spouse tends to be very in-tune with their emotions. They know exactly how they feel at all times. When an inquiry into what their partner is feeling brings a blank stare, there can be a complete break-down of communication. My common answer to help the aggravated partner understand what's happening inside their loved one's heart is, "when he / she tells you they don't know how they feel they are telling the truth. They truly don't know how they feel."

Typically, a person who stuffs will respond to any situation requiring emotions in one or two ways. They will give you the one emotion that our culture allows us to show: anger. However, anger is not the real emotion they are feeling. It is just the emotion that we are allowed to express openly. Anger is really about hurt, unmet expectations or other pain. If a stuffer doesn't show you openly expressed anger, they will just push the anger down inside and do what they do so well … stuff it!

The problem is that stuffing doesn't stop the emotion. Stuffed emotions don't get buried. Truly, stuffed emotions multiply. They become stronger and more powerful. Stuffing emotions over the long haul will eventually cause your body to break down. You can only carry so much emotion on the inside. Pretty soon your internal systems will start responding to the heavy load you are forcing them to carry.

If you are a stuffer, please know that this information is coming your way via divine providence. It is time to step back and start finding new ways to identify and process your emotions. Emotions don't have to be scary when you learn better ways to get in touch with them. Emotions are just like the light on the dashboard of the car. They serve the purpose of letting you know that "something under the hood" needs looked at. You can take out the fuse so the light doesn't go on, but that doesn't stop the damage to the inside that could possibly happen if you drive on down the road ignoring the warning signal.

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Source by Trudy Johnson

Views: 0

November 10, 2022
Words Can Help Heal – Sending a Pet Loss Card

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Anyone that has ever owned a pet knows that no matter how small an animal is, they each have their very own personality. Pets appreciate you. They look forward to seeing you daily. They make you feel wanted and needed. They can get you out of a funk. It is no wonder that we get attached to our pets.

Losing a pet is one of the hardest things that a pet owner will ever have to face. When someone loses a husband, a parent, or a child, we automatically think to send a card. We sometimes underestimate the importance of sending a pet loss card to a loved one. It is equally important to show you care by sending a heartfelt message. Simple words can mean so much to someone. It is comforting to a person who has lost a pet to know that their loved ones recognize their loss and respect their feelings of grief. The support of close friends and family during any loss can make the process a little easier to go through.

There are many way to express sympathy in a pet loss card. Here are some tips when writing words of comfort in a pet loss card:

1. Make sure to use your loved one’s pet name. Instead of saying “sorry about your dog”, say “sorry to hear about Max”.

2. If you have a specific story that your loved one ever talked about, mention it. It shows that you cared about the life of the animal and that not only were you listening, you were thoughtful enough to remember it.

3. Depending on your friend’s beliefs, mentioning the pet being in heaven can be comforting.

4. A lot of the time, pet owners feel some sort of guilt for having to euthanize a pet. It is important to let them know what good pet owners they were. Remind your loved one how awesome they were to their pet, and all the special little things they did to make their pet feel loved and special.

5. Offer your time. Mention that you are available any time to get a bite to eat, go out for coffee, or just listen. It helps not to be alone when you’re grieving. Although a lot of things probably aren’t exactly fun right away, doing things to keep your loved one’s mind off of the loss of her pet can help with the healing process.

No matter what you choose to say, make it personal. Remember that this pet played a huge role in your loved one’s life, and that your words mean more than you might know.

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Source by Lisa Falsetti

Views: 0

November 10, 2022
People Are Not Very Supportive Of My Marital Separation. They Aren’t Happy For Me If Things Improve

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I sometimes hear from people who are getting some hurtful feedback from those who are supposed to be “supporting” them during their marital separation. Sometimes, this so-called support comes from friends or family members. It can even come from the “support group” that you specifically joined in order to feel lifted up during your separation, which can be incredibly disappointing. Someone might say, “I did not really want to burden my family, friends, or coworkers with details about my separation. They know that I am separated, but I just don’t want to hear people’s personal opinions about my husband or my marriage. I am hoping to reconcile and so I don’t want to influence their opinions about my husband or about our relationship. However, I wanted a place to talk things through and to feel supported so I joined a support group for people going through a separation / divorce. The first week felt pretty good, but maybe that is because everyone was on their best behavior. I have to admit that the last few weeks, it really hasn’t gone well. I want to reconcile with my husband. I was looking for people who could identify with what I was going through to keep my spirits up while I was waiting to see what happened with my marriage. However, many of these people are getting ready to divorce and are quite bitter and angry. If I try to relay good news that happened between my husband and myself during the week, I sometimes get sarcastic comments. Someone might say ‘well, just wait. He’s just trying to be nice to you so that you’ll accept the divorce later.’ These type of comments are obviously not what I want to hear. I don’t mind expressing my fears, but I want people to try to talk me down or to help me look on the bright side. I don’t want people to tell me that the worst case scenario is going to happen or that all separations end in divorce. This is why I didn’t tell some friends and family, but now I am getting this with the support group. And yet, I know that I need support, so I am not sure what to do.”

I can really identify with what you are saying. I told some people about my own separation and I really came to regret it. Some of my friends became really angry with my husband and never really got over it – even after we reconciled. By then, I’d long forgiven my husband, and I just wanted to move on. But some people wouldn’t let it go. The thing is, with some people, if you tell them your most personal issues, then you’d better be ready to talk about those same issues every single time that you talk with them because they want to keep bringing it up and picking the scab. That is why you have to be really careful about who you confide in. Some people will project their own experiences and fears onto your experience and obviously, this doesn’t help you. Just because there are people in the support group who may be headed for divorce, this does not mean that you will be. At some point, I just had to tell people who weren’t supportive that I valued their friendship, but that I needed to talk about something else. Then I sought support elsewhere.

If you have not tried counseling, that is probably the very best option for support. They are trained professionals whose only job is to help you. They don’t know you outside of this and therefore are not going to let other things bleed into the reason for your being there. That is really the ideal scenario, but if you are resistant to counseling, then you have to pick your “trusted support person” carefully. If you truly feel that the support group isn’t going to improve, then you want to make sure that if you decide to end this support system, then you have already replaced it with a new and better one. Honestly, my ideal support person was not who I thought that it would be. It was someone from work who I did not know very well and perhaps that helped. She didn’t have all of the history with me that some of my other friends did. And she had separated and reconciled previously so she understood my thought process. Our interactions always left me feeling better, and not worse.

I often journaled my feelings on weekends because I knew that I needed to get them out and didn’t have access to my best support person. I came to decide that I’d rather journal to release my feelings than to have unsupportive people make me feel worse.

It’s important to remember that you can control who you allow to influence you. It’s possible to politely retreat when people aren’t understanding or supportive. It can be really important to surround yourself with positivity because it’s easy to get discouraged. And it’s very important to remember that people’s unsupportive reactions usually have more to do with their situation than with yours. They are projecting their own life and their own problems onto you, which just isn’t fair. If the support group isn’t providing the support that you need and is just making you feel worse, there’s nothing wrong with politely seeking support elsewhere. Because support is very important, but it can be tricky and difficult to find the right, objective person or group of people. At the same time, you don’t want to alienate family and friends, which is why it’s fine to just change the subject and ask to discuss something else.

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Source by Leslie Cane

Views: 0

November 10, 2022
Dealing With Customer Complaints – B.L.A.S.T

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In a restaurant, not so far away, in the not so distant future, a telephone rings, a customer complains… and the battle begins!

Handling customer complaints doesn’t have to always be a battle, with the right tools and responses you can use complaints to your advantage; to help you build your business. B.L.A.S.T is a great tool that is used by companies such as Yum! (Parent company of KFC, Taco Bell, Pizza Hut, A&W, and Long John Silvers). Training their employees in the basics of handling customer complaints. The acronym stands for:

Believe

Listen

Apologize

Satisfy

Thank

How does your company deal with customer complaints? The easiest way to find out is to pick up the phone and play the role of the complaining customer. What happened? If you were an irritated customer, would you return? Using the B.L.A.S.T guidelines, allows you to create a standardized method for dealing with your complainers and turning them into loyal customers.

Believe

This is the cornerstone of handling a customer complaint. Yes, the customer may be lying and be incorrect about their situation. It is important to understand that your customer believes that your establishment has wronged them.

Listen

Stop and listen to your customer’s complaint. I’m not certain whether it’s natural instinct or just plain stubbornness. As soon as a customer starts to complain, we start to think of how we will respond to the accusation before we are done listening, and too often the case, already have the response ready to fight back. Take a second, relax, and listen. On occasion a complaining customer will be rude, angry, and use vulgar language, stay the course and remain calm and level headed.

When the customer is done venting; in a calm, non-judgmental tone, repeat their problem. An example I used in my KFC for a mispacked order:

“What I hear you saying is that, you came in ordered and paid for 10 Pieces of chicken and when you got home, you only received 8, is that correct?”

By repeating the problem at hand, you’ve demonstrated your ability to the customer that you heard and understood their problem.

Listen and clarify. Never defend or justify. The customer doesn’t care if you were shorthanded or if you’re having a bad day, they only care that they get taken care of. No excuses, just solutions.

Apologize

Always apologize even if you did nothing wrong. From your customers’ perspective, they have a legitimate complaint, and they expect an apology. It could be as simple as “I’m sorry we’ve inconvenienced you.” or “I’m sorry I know how frustrating it is to buy dinner for my family, only not to have everything there when I get home” A sincere apology will usually diffuse a lot of frustration that the customer has. There is an exception to this rule though, if a customer calls with a critical complaint, such as food poisoning, don’t apologize, it may be construed as an acceptance of guilt, instead refer to your company’s procedures for such events.

Satisfy

Make it right. Ask the customer “What can I do to make this right for you”? Be the judge of what is fair of course, but allow them the opportunity to feel empowered over the situation. Many times they may ask for the problem be taken care of on their next visit or maybe that you talk to the person who made the mistake and correct them. We used a great system of sending out a personalized postcard apologizing for the mistake, it was a couple of handwritten sentences (yes, many times with spelling mistakes from my team members), but it was personal and always well received. We always gave them the unexpected as well, maybe a free dessert or an extra side dish just to show that we cared about them.

Thank

At the beginning, at the end, in the middle; it doesn’t matter, thank the customer for calling and complaining.

Why? With the simple act of complaining, your customer is telling you “I care about your business and your success”. They are giving you the opportunity to fix the problem and invite them back so they can give you more of their money. Puts a different spin on it doesn’t it? Thank them for giving you that second chance, for letting you know that something in your restaurant didn’t work like it normally does, for giving you the chance to make it right, and for the opportunity not to damage your reputation!

Reputation? I had to throw that one in. You work hard, day in day out, trying the best to make your business the best, and yet one unhappy customer can take it away from you. A happy customer will tell two or three friends about a good experience, but an unhappy customer will tell at least ten friends about their experience and it always multiplies through word of mouth. Case in point, when I moved cross country to my new hometown, I was at a Chamber of Commerce event and being the new person in the group, I introduced myself and what we did. No sooner than five minutes passed did I get a list of 10 restaurants in my area that in their opinion were in “need of my services”. Only one person gave me a good restaurant. I didn’t ask, I was told. To this day I still haven’t been to those restaurants as a customer, why do I want to give them my hard earned money, when they made my new friends unhappy? It may not be a rational thought, but it is human nature.

Will some people take advantage of your kindness? Of course, a rule of thumb I used in my restaurant was:

First time shame on me,

Second time shame on me, but I’m watching you,

Third time… Shame on you and I will make the decision on how I will deal with you as a customer.

Keep track of who calls to complain, names, phone numbers for follow up, addresses for your postcards. Using a binder and tracking your complaints, you will be able to detect and deter those that would take advantage of your new complaint procedures.

Adding B.L.A.S.T to your expanding toolbox of customer service tools will help you in dealing with customer complaints and turn them around so they can tell their friends what great service you have!

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Source by Albert Barneto

Views: 0

November 10, 2022
Are You Letting Excuses Keep You From Becoming a Top Network Marketer?

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Things that are easy to do are easy not to do. In this article, I am going to talk to you about excuses and how they may be keeping you from becoming a top network marketer.

We all have our moments when we don't feel like doing certain things. We are professionals at making excuses for why we don't do these things, but the thing we must remember is that being a professional at making excuses does not pay the bills.
Two of the biggest excuses people have are the excuses that they do not have enough time or money. These are easy excuses to use because they are often true in our current state but do not have to remain true.

I Don't Have the Time

If you do not currently have the time to build your business, that is because you have not allocated the time to build your business. There are other things that are filling your time that you could choose not to do but instead, you choose to do them. Many times, these things are important things but if you say you want to build a business, but you do not schedule it into your week, you are not showing you believe it is that important.

I Don't Have the Connections

Our capital in our network marketing companies are our connections and oftentimes people think they do not have the right connections. Even if this is true, we all have the same access to everyone and if we are resourceful enough, we will be able to get in contact with that person.

Conclusion

Whatever excuses are holding you back, you must give them up and get into action. Excuses don't help you get what you want so give them up and work consistently toward your goals.

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Source by Jessica Lauren Vine

Views: 0

November 10, 2022
The Five Pillars of Marketing Success

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Does the following give a pretty good picture of your current marketing activity?

You have a website but you’re not really satisfied with it. You go to networking events once in awhile. If someone asks you to give a talk, you’re happy to do it. You post on Facebook and/or LinkedIn semi-regularly. When you find the time, you send an article to those on your relatively small email list. You occasionally set up meetings with colleagues to explore opportunities.

Now there’s nothing wrong with any of those marketing activities. And usually, they will result in landing some new clients.

But this is not the approach that works to get a steady, predictable stream of new clients.

Please don’t tune me out here, thinking, “Well, I really can’t do more than this. I’m already stretched thin. If you give me too much to do I’ll get overwhelmed.”

I agree. It’s not that you need to do more marketing, it’s that you need to shift your marketing paradigm from one of “Randomness” to one that is “Focused.”

Random marketing is just that; it’s all over the place. You do a little bit here and a little bit there on an inconsistent basis. You are trying to keep your face, name, and message in front of your prospective clients but the results are unpredictable.

The Random marketing paradigm is not very effective because it doesn’t gain a lot of momentum. You don’t do enough of one marketing activity to grab the attention of your prospective clients and move them to take action.

The Focused Marketing Paradigm is very different. It’s based on repeatedly communicating very directly to your target market with a very definite end in mind. It gets the attention of your prospective clients and they ultimately take action.

The Focused Marketing Paradigm has Five Pillars

Understand and implement these five pillars and I promise you’ll see a shift in your marketing results.

Pillar One: Focused Goals

A Random goal is saying something like, “I’d like to attract a few more clients to my business.” Not very compelling is it?

A Focused goal is much more specific. “My goal is to land 3 new clients in the high-tech plastics business in the Houston area with an average project size of $30,000 each by the end of the year.”

The more detail, depth, and specificity about the goal, the better. You’ve really thought through what you want to achieve and also have confidence that you could deliver if you did reach your goal. It’s so real to you that you can taste it.

What is the Focused Goal for your marketing?

Pillar Two: Focused Program or Service

Random programs or services are generalized consulting, coaching or training programs. “I offer management consulting and training to corporations.” Kind of vague, right? But this is what I hear all the time.

A Focused Program or Service is more tangible. “I offer the high-tech plastics industry Management Acceleration Programs for emerging leaders in the industry.”

In my business, I’ve always offered programs: The Marketing Mastery Program, the Marketing Action Group, and the More Clients Club. And each program has very specific parameters, deliverables, and objectives. It sure makes intangible services easier to market and sell.

What is the Focused Program or Service you’re offering?

Pillar Three: Focused Target Market

In the above example, the target was the “high-tech plastics industry.” But it’s more common to hear things like, “I work with large companies who want to increase productivity.” This is too general and it makes it hard for clients to know if you understand them and can help them.

A Focused target market is where you are absolutely clear what kinds of people or companies can most benefit from your expertise. And then you articulate that clearly.

I worked with a financial planning company last year that targeted middle class families in the Buffalo New York area. Guess who they attracted to their practice? When people read about who they worked with on their website, they said, “That’s Us!” and called them.

Who exactly is your Focused Target Market?

Pillar Four: Focused Message and Value Proposition

A Random message or value proposition tends to be too general and can be hard to pin down. It avoids making a promise that is meaningful to the prospective client.

Messages such as, “We offer the best service in the industry,” or “Smart insights into great management,” are meaningless to your prospective clients. The value is not immediately obvious.

A Focused message or value proposition zeros in on exactly what your clients get and what it means to them. I admit that this can be the marketing pillar that is hardest to pin down. Ultimately you have to test a number of different things.

For the re-launch of the More Clients Club, my current value proposition is: “Everything Self-Employed Professionals Need in One Place to Attract More Clients.” And now, of course, I’m bending over backward to deliver on that promise.

And a marketing message or value proposition is much more than a sound bite. Your message must permeate every aspect of your marketing, from your website to the emails you send out. Your prospects need to be constantly reminded of the value you offer.

What is your Focused Message or Value Proposition?

Pillar Five: Focused Marketing Strategy

A Random marketing strategy is much like the collection of marketing activities I outlined at the top of the article. You’re just all over the place, throwing something at the wall, hoping it will stick, with no organized system or plan.

A Focused marketing strategy is more like a putting on a theatrical production. You have the script, the actors, rehearsals, and opening night, all executed on a strict timeline.

Two examples:

For my Marketing Mastery Program, I held a series of introductory teleconferences, invited those interested to apply for the program, interviewed each applicant, and then converted 50% into participants. Over a 6-week period, I filled my business for a full year – four years in a row.

A career coach in one of my programs recently filled her practice in three months with a focused campaign of personalized emails designed to get appointments with her ideal clients. Then she converted a large percentage into paying clients.

That’s the power of a focused marketing strategy.

You need to identify the right marketing strategy for your business, but even more important is the way you organize and implement the strategy.

Developing a focused strategy is the most complex and challenging of the Five Pillars. You can’t just put together something haphazardly and hope you get the equivalent of a professional Shakespearian production.

What is your Focused Marketing Strategy?

If you work to build a focused plan with these five solid pillars, your marketing will work better and faster, attracting more of your ideal clients, usually at a higher rate.

I recommend you work on one pillar at a time. Write them out and fine-tune them until you feel confident and excited about them. Yes, you will need to do some research and study to make sure your plan is viable. But this is certainly better than spinning your wheels with a random strategy that is going nowhere.

Cheers, Robert

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Source by Robert Middleton

Views: 0

November 9, 2022
Why Improving the Look of Your Leveraged Sales Products Matters

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A New Year has come upon us and it's time to relook at some of the leveraged sales products. If it's been at least six months since you've reexamined your products, now is the time to take a fresh look. Are you achieving your sales goals with them? Did they drop off in the last few months? If you feel like something in your product line can be improved, it's time to relook at everything and make improvements. In some cases, the rework is easy and done within in minutes. While others take more time, and may need a specialist to help. Don't give up, there are ways to improve your sales, you just need to look at the data and try something new.

The "Why" in improvement for leveraged sales.

Better looking leveraged sales products could mean a dynamic improvement in sales. It's always preached in book writing groups, that your eBook cover should be improved. If you're selling eBook's, maybe it's time to see if you can get a new cover that may help with your sales. Some folks never change their covers and let them set on the shelves for a long time. While its costly to change them, the sales and shares are worth the investment. The new cover can add a whole new life to the material. It shows your visitors that your serious about helping them by displaying an improved cover.

Maybe you need to look at the material in your leveraged sales and improve the copy. The material can be outdated, especially if your eBook's or guides have been in your online store for a year or longer. Other content may need just simple formatting changes and background changes. These cosmetic changes can enhance the beauty of your work and bring about new sales, increased trust and authority. However, a bad design is really difficult to overcome, be careful and do some research before granting final approval.

How the New Look of Your Leveraged Sales will play a major role in your marketing?

Reworking your leveraged sales is important, especially if you're a newbie in the business. People do judge a book by its cover and the first impression is always the lasting one. If your work comes across as lame, or unprofessional. Most people will never ever give you a second chance. So, by applying some effort to your project, you can create an impression that is favorable. Your first effort may be good, but you always want to try to improve upon your craft. In this regard, your prospects will develop a stronger relationship with you. Your leveraged sales will play a master role as you look to connect and build sales on your social media channels.

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Source by David L. Feinstein

Views: 1

July 30, 2022
Top 6 Ways to Get An Angry Customer To Back Down

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1. Apologize. An apology makes the angry customer feel heard and understood. It diffuses and anger and allows you to begin to re-establish trust. Not only that, but pilot studies have found that the mere act of apologizing has reduced lawsuits, settlement, and defense costs. You need to apologize to customers regardless of fault. Certainly, the apology needs to be carefully worded. Here’s an example of a sincere, yet careful apology:

“Please accept my sincere and unreserved apology for any inconvenience this may have caused you.”

2. Kill Them Softly With Diplomacy. This simple phrase has never failed me: “Clearly, we’ve upset you and I want you to know that getting to the bottom of this is just as important to me as it is to you.” When you say this, anger begins to dissipate. You’ve addressed the anger directly and non defensively and you haven’t been pulled into the drama of the attack.

3. Go into Computer Mode. To use Computer Mode you take on the formalities of a computer. You speak generally, without emotion, and you don’t take the bait your angry or difficult customer is throwing you. Your words, tone, and attitude are completely impersonal and neutral – (Think of the automated response system you speak to when you call your wireless phone company or bank.)

This “computer mode” response deflects, diffuses, and disarms angry customers because you don’t add fuel to the fire by giving your difficult customer what they want -an emotional reaction. When you don’t take the bait, the difficult customer is forced to stop dead in their tracks. And that means you regain control (and confidence).

The Computer Mode Approach In Action

Let’s say your customer says:

“You don’t give a d*** about customers. Once you get a customer locked into a contract, the service aspect is over.”

While it may be tempting to fuel the fire with an equally hostile response such as “What’s your problem, creep?”

Don’t take the bait. If you do take the bait, the situation will only escalate and nothing productive or positive will result. A computer mode response might look like this:

“I’m sure there are some people who think we don’t care about servicing customers.”

“People get irritated when they don’t immediately get the help they need.”

“It’s very annoying to experience a delay in service response.”

“Nothing is more distressing than feeling like you’re being passed around when all you want is help.”

And then you stop -like a locked up computer.

No matter how uncomfortable the verbal abuse is or how ridiculous it becomes, continue to respond without emotion. This tactic works because it is neutral, doesn’t take the bait, and because it is unexpected. The difficult customer wants to throw you off, make you lose control, and to get you to respond emotionally. When you fail to do each of these things, you actually regain control.

Go into “computer mode” the next time you’re faced with verbal abuse from an irate or unreasonable customer, and I promise you, you’ll quickly regain control —and you’ll have fun with the process.

4. Give this question a shot: “Have I done something personally to upset you?… I’d like to be a part of the solution.” Of course, you know you haven’t done anything to upset the customer. You ask this question to force the angry customer to think about his behavior. Often, the mere asking of this question is enough to get the ballistic customer to begin to shift from the right brain to the left brain, where he can begin to listen and rationalize.

5. Show empathy – Empathy can be a powerful tool used to disarm an angry customer and show that you genuinely care about the inconvenience the customer has experienced. Expressing empathy is also good for YOU, as it helps you truly begin to see the problem from the customer’s perspective/and this perspective will help keep you from losing your cool when your customer gets hot. By letting customers know that you understand why they are upset, you build a bridge of rapport between you and them.

Here are some phrases that express empathy:

o “That must have been very frustrating for you.”

o “I realize the wait you encountered was an inconvenience.”

o “If I were in your shoes, I’m sure I’d feel just as you do.”

o “It must have been very frustrating for you have waited five days for your order and for that I am sorry.”

6. And finally, here’s a tip that works like magic. …. Show appreciation for the difficult person’s feedback. After your difficult customer has ranted and raved, you can regain control of the conversation by interjecting—not interrupting, but interjecting to thank them for taking the time to give you feedback. You can say something like:

Thanks for being so honest.

Thanks for taking the time to let us know how you feel.

We appreciate customers who let us know when things aren’t right.

Thanks for caring so much.

The reason this tip works so effectively is because the last thing your irate or unreasonable customer expects is for you to respond with kindness and gratitude. It’s a shock factor and many times you’ll find that your customer is stunned silent and this is exactly what you want. When the customer is stunned into silence, you get in the driver’s seat and steer the conversation in the direction you want it to go.

When you do these things you’ll find that being on the receiving end of verbal abuse doesn’t have to be threatening or intimidating. You can come across as confident, composed and strong…and most importantly, you’ll regain control of the conversation.

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Source by Myra Golden

Views: 0

July 29, 2022
Efficient Home Remedies to Cure Eczema

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Are you one of the people who have fallen victim to Eczema? Do you happen to know any person who is suffering from this condition? Eczema is a type of skin disorder that causes the affected person to start getting skin redness, itchiness, flakiness and in some instances some people even start bleeding. This is a condition which mainly affects children but there are also some adults who fall victims as well. Eczema is a very irritating condition which tends to make people very uncomfortable. This is why it is important for one to try and ensure that they handle it as soon as possible.

There are different cures that have been designed to deal with eczema and they come in the form of topical medicines and topical creams. The only problem with these treatments is that they all cost money and some people may not be in a position to afford them. The great news is that there are different types of efficient home remedies to cure Eczema out there. Here are some few examples of the Eczema cure options that exist.

1. Water Treatment

If you are one of those people who may not be comfortable using the topical creams or other forms of medication, you might find water quite useful. Place cold water in a compress then apply it onto the affected skin twice a day. This will help in soothing the itchiness on the infected areas. The water can also be used to make an anti-eczema solution when mixed with almond leaves.

2. Take baths with mild cleansers

You need to maintain high levels of hygiene when fighting Eczema. These can be attained by taking a proper bath up to twice a day to ensure that your skin stays free of any impurities and dirt. This can be done by using mild soaps or cleansers which can be used to clear toxins and dirt from the skin surface.

3. Coconut Oil

This is one of the efficient home remedies to cure Eczema. This is because it has the ability to maintain the suppleness and softness of the skin. You just need to apply it on the affected area of the skin and it will ensure that your skin stays nourished. Avoid the commercial lotions because most of them end up harming your skin.

4. Papaya Seeds

Papaya is a good Eczema cure because it helps in reducing the skin itchiness. It is prepared by mashing the seeds then applying them over the area of the skin that has eczema.

5. Spearmint

The spearmint can help in soothing the swelling and itchiness that is caused by Eczema. You need to make a juice from spearmint leaves then apply it on an infected area.

6. Mudpack

Mudpack is one of the good Eczema treatments that you can use at home. This is because of the soothing effect that it has on the face. It is also considered to be a form of facial spa. You just need to apply it directly over the affected area and you will feel the relief instantly.

7. The Sun as a Vitamin D source

Exposure to the sun can also help in killing the bacteria that cause Eczema. The sun is also a rich source of vitamin D.

The good thing about using home remedies to cure Eczema is the fact that they are readily available and the fact that the ingredients are mostly natural, there are no side effects.

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Source by Veronica Ayuste

Views: 0

July 29, 2022