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Waking the Tiger, Healing Trauma, by Peter A, Levine

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Many people who have suffered tremendous emotional trauma (for example, the recently bereaved, people in war-torn countries, those who have been tortured or sexually molested) or physical hurt (e.g. severe neglect, debilitating injuries) recover entirely or near completely from their tragedy. However, others do not fare as well and continue to relive the same horrific experiences of morbid fear, anguish, and anxiety for a prolonged period of time. These latter groups of people have been traumatized by their bad experiences.

In their book, “Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma,” Levine and Frederick (1997), said that this is a result of bottled-up somatosensory symptoms emanating after trauma. There are three main ways people respond when faced with a traumatic experience, said Levine and Frederick (1997). They can fight (confront the situation), flee (get away from the situation), or freeze (be totally overwhelmed by the predicament to the point of immobility). Victims who apply a fight or flee solution to a traumatic experience fare better in dealing with trauma than people who freeze in response to shock (Levine & Frederick, 1997). This state of suspended animation and paralysis occurs unconsciously and involuntarily. During this state of freeze, the victim has no way of going through all the typical reactions associated with traumatic events (Levine & Frederick, 1997). Because they are not adequately discharged by the victim, the trapped emotions wreak havoc on the traumatized individual.

The solution to trauma is, therefore, to guide the victim along a path (Experiential Sensation-FELT SENSE) that allows them to perceive and release those trapped emotions (Levine & Frederick, 1997). This approach to healing trauma was garnered by learning how animals recover from traumatic experience (Levine & Frederick 1997). Confronting trauma, said Levine and Frederick (1997), should be mostly on an emotional, limbic brain level, and not solely on the rational, executive brain level.

Levine and Frederick’s trauma theory is also supported in some ways by the polyvagal theory, which suggests that trauma has a somatic experiential component. If, as indicated by the polyvagal theory and by the Levine and Frederick (1997) theory, that trauma has strong emotional roots, one can apply elements of relationship models such as the DIR model in addressing trauma. After determining the victim’s functional emotional development capacity level, a DIR practitioner can begin to appeal, build and strengthen discovered areas of weaknesses, thus allowing the victim to escape the shackling phenomena of a past traumatic event. Calming the traumatized individual is a tool in the DIR toolbox with which to regulate traumatized individuals. A calmed mind creates an opportunity for further regulation of emotions and understanding of deep-rooted feelings, all of which are needed for trauma victims to extricate themselves from the shackles of the past and begin to attain new heights of functional capacity.

Other applicable trauma theories include the NARM model, which, focusing on the mind, suggests that trauma is associated with a maladaptation in the victim’s attachment history. The PTSD model suggests that trauma victims are applying to their current problems solutions which had worked and were appropriate in the past.

In my opinion, while attachment and trauma appear as opposite ends of the same emotional realm, it is apparent that whereas attachment is mostly positive, except, for example, in cases of extreme attachment/dependency, trauma is almost always negative, at least until it resolves. Treatment of trauma requires a dedicated practitioner, who is ready to learn from their victims and understand their challenges in order to develop an appropriate management strategy.

Recognizing the signs and symptoms of trauma, making timely referrals to a trauma specialist, and integrating several of the modalities mentioned would likely give the best result in the management of traumatized children and adults.

Reference

Levine, P. A., & Frederick, A. (1997). Waking the tiger: Healing trauma: The innate capacity to transform overwhelming experiences. Berkeley, CA: North Atlantic Books.

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Source by Anselm Anyoha

Views: 0

October 8, 2019
12 Unique Ways To Ask Your Partner to Marry You Using the Internet

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Asking your partner to marry them should be a memorable experience, but what if you don’t have enough cash to hire a plane and pop the question in the clouds? If you’re feeling the pinch, but still looking for something a pretty special, then turning to the internet and social media may just be the solution. The internet provides a vast scope of opportunity when it comes to asking someone to stay with you forever, but by far the most difficult challenge when using the internet is to make the experience feel romantic. Face to face is by far the most romantic way to propose but with some extra effort and thought it can still be achieved. A romantic experience by definition can mean different things to different people, so weather you’re a pizza fanatic, love New York, brilliant at building WordPress sites, or have great persuasion skills, the internet may just be your key to rocking your partners world.

Create A Website

Build a website that holds all of the pictures and videos of your relationship together. Use it as a record of all your time together and as a special touch, make a video asking for their hand in marriage.

Get A Video To Go Viral

This could be a tricky one and you will need to be very inventive. You could specifically say in the video that if it finds it’s way back to your partner through social media, then you will ask for their hand in marriage. This might give other people more incentive to share it.

Use Fiverr.com

There are some really good gigs on Fiverr that you can use to ask for someones hand in marriage. Billboards are pretty popular. You could use someone with a billboard in New York or next to a famous landmark.

Status Update

If you’re in ownership of some epic persuasion skills then you could ask your partners favorite celebrity to pose the question via a status update on Facebook or Twitter.

Create an Game

Create an online game or android app that ends with you asking for their hand in marriage. You’re going to need some great programming skills for this, or you can use an app that incorporates a treasure hunt theme that they use it to track down the ring offline.

Create a Picture

Pictures are by far the most shared thing on the internet. You could create one seriously funny marriage proposal picture and get it to go viral.

QR Code

Create a really cool QR code that they can scan. You could set one up in your local pub so they had no idea that it was related to marriage.

Use a Band

Pay a band to record a video and get them to devote a song to your loved one. Right at the end you could get them to tell your partner that you have a question to ask you.

Video Star

More persuasion skills needed here. Get your partners favorite celebrity to upload a video message asking them to marry you.

Surprise Delivery

If your partner orders products online regularly, ask the company to create a special package to send next time as a surprise. If you’re looking for really cheap idea, then why not ask you’re local pizza delivery service. Whilst not the most romantic experience ever, no one is ever about to forget the time the pizza delivery boy delivered a love pizza with a ring in whilst singing your favorite love song.

Facebook Ads

Set up a Facebook page asking your partner to marry u with a unique cover and logo. Then create an advert to be displayed to her/him. You will need to advertise using only friends of friends and then narrow the advert down to your partners age group and sex so that they have every chance of seeing it.

Start Blogging

Create a blog style story and get it published in an online magazine or newspaper. The story will need to be interesting enough to read as an article though. Maybe if you met in interesting circumstances or your partner has done something amazing with their life then you can tell their story over the media waves, popping the question right at the end.

There are many ways that you can ask someone to marry them over the internet. The best part is that the cost can be kept to a minimum; however to make something truly amazing and memorable, you’re going to need a mixture of average tech skills, a bit of cash, and one seriously inventive personality. If you do happen to be a fledging in all these departments, then fear not, put a list together of your most useful friends and revert back to this list. We’re sure that one of you’re friends at the very least will have a skill that matches one of the above ideas: failing that, who doesn’t love pizza?

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Source by Lydia J T

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October 8, 2019
New Book Removes Fear From Sales With Practical, Easy-To-Implement Techniques

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As a small business owner, I found Greg Andersen's Small Business Sales, WTF (Without the Fear) full of practical advice, new ideas, and down-to-earth common sense to help me rethink my sales approaches. Andersen has been in sales for many years in the printing business, but the advice he offers is applicable to anyone in sales, especially small business owners who may be wearing all the hats themselves or unable to focus on sales because they're too busy looking after everything else.

Small Business Sales, WTF is divided into two sections: Pre-Sales Planning, in which Andersen discusses products, going to market with products, creating a sales environment, and then The Sales Process, in which he explores how to find customers, make contact , get the opportunity to sell to the customer, execute the sale, and then follow up with and retain the customer long-term. Andersen walks readers through each step of the sales process, providing practical and personal examples of what has worked for him that readers can easily model or put their own spins on.

Andersen writes in a humorous but tell-it-like-it-is style to dismiss myths about the sales process and cut through sales jargon to get to what the reader really needs to know. For example, early in the book, he has a list of "Words / Phrases you will not hear in my book." Among the phrases included is "Belly-to-Belly" to which he responds, "Gross. How about face-to-face." Another phrase is "Low Hanging Fruit," which he says does not really exist, and still another is "Hook," which he finds insulting because it assumes customers are suckers or fish. Instead, Andersen prefers to treat his customers like human beings and rather than "close the sale" come to an "agreement" between two parties who trust and respect each other.

For most people, sales can have a bad name. No one likes being sold to, and people who reluctantly take on a sales role are aware of that and often fearful of selling. Andersen teaches readers how to remove the fear of sales by rethinking what sales really is. Most people dread the "cold call," so Andersen talks about instead viewing sales as "demand generation." It's about looking for where there is a demand for your services and then providing the product or service to fulfill that demand. It's also about listening to customers.

Andersen states: "When all is said and done, only a few methods of outreach will really get you in contact with a prospective new customer-the phone, letter writing, a trade show, and email. What really counts is the technique you employ . " He then provides creative examples of how to handle sales through each of these approaches, as well as discussing social media as a sales strategy. His examples are drawn from personal experiences, from his days as a shoe salesman at Nordstrom to his current sales role in the printing industry. Best of all, he even includes copies of letters he has sent to clients. His techniques are simple and straightforward, so anyone, no matter how scared of sales, can implement them.

Of course, there will be difficult clients or people who don't want to hear how you can help them. Andersen provides strategies for getting past the gatekeepers to the decision makers. He reveals his research techniques, which are quite clever and even include looking at prospective customers' job postings to determine who in a company is or will be in a buyer position for his product.

When facing resistance from a potential client, Andersen realizes it's not always about him, his approach, or his product. I loved the following invaluable point he made: "Another way I like to approach these challenging situations is to remind myself that all these excuses mean the customer is probably protecting his current vendor. If he is being loyal to his current vendor, some day he will be loyal to me. Stay positive. " Personally, I know this is true as a business owner. If I have a vendor providing me with a good service at a good price, I feel loyal to that vendor and am not willing to change. Such clients may be resistant to change, but they are the ones you want because they are loyal. Andersen shows how persistence pays off in these situations. Sometimes he makes contact with customers who are not in need of his services right then, but years later, he secures business with them, and even if at first he doesn't get the level of business he wants, they often will give him some business as a trial and then he can work his way in to larger sales with them.

Perhaps what I liked most about Andersen's approaches is that he truly believes in being responsive to clients. I cannot stress enough how frustrated I feel when I send an email to someone who does not reply to me for several days. I am personally always very responsive to my clients and usually reply within hours if not minutes. Andersen points out that even if you don't have an answer to a client's problem or you can't take the time to respond to a question at that moment, a simple response like, "I'm on it," lets clients know you will get back to them and then they can quit worrying about their problem and go on to the next item on their to-do list until you do get back to them. In other words, Andersen is always in favor of reassuring the client that you will do what you say and provide reliable and quality service.

Altogether, Small Business Sales, WTF does take a lot of the fear and stress out of sales. I believe most readers will be pleasantly surprised by this book; they'll read Andersen's stories and examples and say to themselves, "I can do that," and even find ideas of their own popping into their heads as they build off of Andersen's advice. Whether you are a small business owner with absolutely no sales experience, are just starting out in sales, or have been in sales for years, there are plenty of nuggets of advice here that can make your sales process easier, more lucrative, and all around more enjoyable.

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Source by Tyler Tichelaar

Views: 0

October 8, 2019
The Entrepreneurial Success Plan for Coaches

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Many coaches know they have been blessed with a gift to coach but are not confident with the part of being an entrepreneur. Sadly, the number of coaches who don't succeed is probably far greater than the number of coaches who succeed.

If you are a coach that is self-employed it is critical to the life of your business that you are equipped with skills to succeed as a business owner. You can't simply focus on being an amazing coach, you must also be an amazing CEO. That means running your business in a way that it will succeed even during the toughest times. This article is going to share some tips to help you achieve and maintain entrepreneurial success as a coach.

1. Hire a business coach or take business classes:

There are business coaches and business classes that specialize in helping coaches to grow their business. Don't feel like you must "go at it" alone because you don't. And don't wait until your business is in trouble to seek guidance. This is something that should be done frequently so that you can stay "on top of things."

2. Know the specific problem you solve:

It is important that you know the specific problem you solve for your clients. Most of the time problems equal some level of pain, frustration, or dissatisfaction with life. So when you can solve problems for your clients you can help them live a happier and more fulfilled life. And that is priceless. And knowing the specific problem you solve also helps you to market your business better, attract your ideal clients, and stand out in your niche.

3. Don't be afraid to charge for your services:

This is huge because in order to stay in business you must make money. And you absolutely can't charge fees that are so low that you can't keep your business doors open. Now this doesn't mean you have to charge such a high fee that you are out of the reach of your ideal clients, but neither does it mean that you should charge so low that you are struggling financially in your life and in your business.

Having the right money mindset is essential because it will empower you to break through fear, doubt, and other issues around you charging the fee you truly desire. Not the fee that you feel like people will pay you, but the one that is fair to both you and your clients. And there is a way that can be done so you will still feel authentic and in divine alignment.

4. Stay motivated:

This is a key piece to entrepreneurial success that is often overlooked. Why? Because most of the time when we hear the words "entrepreneurial success" we think of things that are happening externally, like working with a business coach, taking business classes, or learning marketing skills. But motivation is the fire under everything else. Because without motivation no real action is being taken.

Keep pushing toward entrepreneurial success and refuse to give up. You will have some good days and you will have some not so good days but keep moving forward. Keep focusing on the reason you decided to become an entrepreneur and let those reasons continue to fuel your success. Believe in what God has purposed you to do and trust divine wisdom, and guidance. And if you ever feel your motivation getting low fuel up by listening to things or reading things that inspire and motivate you.

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Source by Dr.

Views: 0

October 8, 2019
Ready for a High Impact Mindset Reset?
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Your mindset, your thoughts, can buoy you up, inspiring you to take courageous action, or they can drag you down, keeping you up at night with worry and paralyzing you with fear. Even though our brains are wired to dwell on the negative, on past mistakes, how we think in this moment is something we can control.

Changing our minds in the present moment can be hard work! I know from experience that when things aren’t going well, one of the toughest things to do is to turn your mind from impending doom to what is possible and what can be done.

The good news is that the more you practice these mindset boosters, the easier they become. They do, in fact, become habits that kick in when you need them the most.

The even better news is that the more you practice them, the more impact both you and your company will have. Staying on track and not allowing yourself to be pulled down will save you a lot of time and energy. The time and energy you free up can be spent on your company’s financial performance and having impact.

S0 let’s look at ways you can do a mindset reset and the practices that will support you in doing so:

The Future Doesn’t Just Happen – You Shape It Every Day

Have you ever seen or read about people in the direst of circumstances who are transcendent, happy? And others who seem to have everything, and yet feel deprived? The way you choose to think about a situation, the parts of yourself that you call on, even dig deep for, are what determine your present and your future. Your thinking is integral to your character.

When things look negative, question it. There’s always a way to think about a situation that includes a gift, an opportunity. This may seem contrived at first, but think about situations where you’ve suddenly had a shift in perspective and a solution appeared, seemingly out of nowhere. That’s the effect you want to be able to call on.

“Circumstance does not make the person,

it reveals the person to himself or herself.”

~James Allen

People become leaders of successful, impactful companies by becoming the people who can lead those companies first. They walk with integrity. They make smart decisions. They step up and into opportunity with courage. They acknowledge their fears, but don’t indulge them. They learn and grow.

You are becoming the leader of your high impact company right now, in how you show up every day. Treating people with respect. Listening to ideas. Choosing how you use your time and energy. Making decisions with your mind AND your heart.

You can shape your future by consciously developing the mindset of the leader who leads your company in these ways.

Doubling down on mission is one way to ensure that your company moves more in the direction of your impact. New Belgium Brewing became a benefit corporation in 2018, ingraining its commitment to internal and community impact in its legal framework, and is now the fourth-largest craft brewery in the US.

Fear and Getting Through the Storm

We all have fears. Fears about how the company will do financially this year, about that crucial new hire who looks promising but is unproven, or about how your new offering will fare in a busy market. Fears can abound, especially if nurtured and given attention.

“The future you constantly worry about

Is nothing other than a projection of fear and desire from the past.”

~Thich Nhat Hanh

Fears can instead be a tool, an indicator. They can lead you to research, to ask good questions, and to explore options. As long as you don’t allow fears to take over the present, they can actually be valuable.

One way to be vigilant about fears is with mindfulness. Mindfulness, that focus on the present, is more than a business fad. It’s a practice that decreases stress and increases productivity.

The leaders of outdoor apparel maker Patagonia are committed to using their successful company as a vehicle to put mindfulness into action. Patagonia founder Yves Chouinard describes navigating what could be a terrifying Class 4 rapid as a teaching:
- look ahead and prepare
  - be proactive
  - don’t ignore what is coming
  - think through scenarios
  - do what is necessary to get ready to the best of your ability
  - trust that you can handle whatever happens
- go into a drop
  - take calculated risks
  - once you decide, follow through wholeheartedly
- read the river
  - be vigilant
  - be perceptive
  - adjust as needed.
That intuitive process has helped guide his business for the last 50 years. Chouinard believes that if the process isn’t sound, if your intentions don’t come from the right place, the outcome, even if profitable, doesn’t matter.

Practicing wisdom by making decisions from a place of love rather than fear can open the door to creative solutions. When Patagonia’s CEO Casey Sheahan was faced with laying off 150 employees during the financial crisis, shortly after he took over from Chouinard, he was torn up about the decision. His wife asked him, “Are you making this decision from a place of fear, or from a place of love?” When he realized that it was fear driving the layoff decision, he found another way, leading to unheard-of sales levels after a few rocky quarters.

Fear can be a driver of decisions and actions, but they don’t have to be. Elizabeth Gilbert in her book, Big Magic, tells the story of treating her fears like an inevitable passenger on a road trip. Fears can and will be there, but they can Never. Ever. Drive.

Focus on Your Impact

Do you find your Impact Purpose, a clear statement of the impact you want to have, inspiring? Does it fill you with energy? If it doesn’t, at least most of the time, you might be on the wrong track. Your clarity about the impact you want to have, whether it’s social or environmental or both, can serve as the rock on which you build your impactful business.

When you steadily focus on your Impact Purpose, you’ll find your thoughts turning from short-term pain to what you could achieve in your business and community. This thinking about others, and not just yourself, is a way to bring you out of the doldrums or away from unhelpful divergent thinking, and back into focus on your impact.

Reinforce this by having your Impact Purpose statement in front of you, every day. Have it on your desk or screen. In your wallet. On your fridge. Wherever you will be regularly reminded of what you intend, personally and with your company.

Plan your day and week with your Impact Purpose in mind. Include it in your decisions about how time, money, and resources will be spent, and with whom. Thoughts aligned with purpose are a powerful creative force. Fill your attention with something worthwhile.

The greatest achievement was at one time a dream. Stay with your dream. It’ll be part of your becoming.

You Are the Company You Keep

You may have heard the notion that you are the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with. That speaks to the influence that those around you have on your thinking and therefore on your actions.

Some companies who are committed to having impact take this to a highly conscious level. Design firm LimeRed, led by Emily Lonigro Boylan, only works with individuals or organizations that have social impact. LimeRed only engages with clients whose values they share, who are kind and innovative, and who are also accountable to their stakeholders and communities.

You as a business leader can also take this to another level by incorporating it into decisions about who you include on your team, your suppliers, and your partners. Do you vet who you work with every day through this lens? Do you extend this to your advisors, your pet projects, and your friends?

You’re more likely to have impact when you devote all your energy and resources toward people and companies that also want to have impact in harmony with yours.

Your mindset matters to your own fulfillment and well-being. It matters to your company, as you engage with your community and the larger world. Optimize your opportunity to have impact by doing this mindset reset.

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Source by Ursula Jorch

Views: 0
October 8, 2019
Smart Entrepreneurs Wear Six Hats
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Entrepreneurs are necessarily optimistic. You need to be, it allows you to see the possibilities around you and act on them.

However, the downside is that your emotional attachment can blind you to problems that are otherwise obvious to someone who is not as personally invested in the project.

This is why smart entrepreneurs learn to wear six hats: six "Thinking Hats". Originally defined by psychologist Edward DeBono, the Six Thinking Hats are a structured creativity tool to help you look at a situation from different perspectives, to solve a problem or to foresee and minimize risks before they turn into problems.

When you "wear" a specific color hat, it gives you permission to look at your problem is a specific way:
- White Hat: Analytical – What does the data say? Look at the available data, both quantitative and qualitative. What are past trends? What can you extrapolate? Where is the evidence to support your assumptions? Where do you need more data?
- Red Hat: Emotional – How do you feel about this? Access your intuition, gut reaction, emotion. Talk about your feelings about the situation, where you feel good and not as good. How would others feel about this?
- Black Hat: Pessimist – What could go wrong? Think cautiously, defensively, why it might not work. Poke holes in the idea, look for the weak spots, all with the intention to identify what needs to be addressed in order to overcome any problems.
- Yellow Hat: Optimist – What if all goes right? Think optimistically, positively. Imagine all the opportunities, the benefits, the advantages. Reach for the stars!
- Green Hat: Creative – How can we make this better? Use your creative juices to think "out of the box". Explore weird tangents, unexpected synergies, make it into a "purple cow" (something remarkable that stands out from the crowd).
- Blue Hat: Process – What do we need to do now? Direct the process of creativity so avoid getting stuck. When in "Blue Hat" mode, step back from the problem and consider if you are giving all of the other hats equal time.
Entrepreneurs seem to do quite well with the Yellow, Red and Green Hat approaches to thinking about an idea. There is more resistance to the White Hat (analytical) and definitely a big block around Black Hat thinking. Could this be because the Analytical and Pessimist are associated with external control?

There is nothing to fear from the Black Hat – it can be your best friend. Wearing the Black Hat gets you out of cheerleader mode and forces you to examine your assumptions up close. From personal experience, I know that when a project backfires, the failure can be traced back to an assumption that was not properly tested. Black Hat thinking gives your project real traction by foreseeing the difficulties and encouraging defensive planning. This makes the plan more resilient and improves the probability of success.

As you explore wearing the various Hats, put on the Blue Hat (Process) from time to time to see if you are considering all the perspectives of your project. Note that the purpose of this thinking exercise is not to assign fault or blame. The mindset of every Hat is to make sure the project succeeds.

It is great fun to dream big and to reach for the stars. But if you want to make any progress, you need to keep your feet on the ground. Practice wearing the Six Thinking Hats as you plan and execute your business project. This mindset will give you the traction to power your project towards real and enduring results.

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Source by Davender Gupta

Views: 0
October 7, 2019