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  • Selecting the Character's Emotion

    Selecting the Character's Emotion

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    The last article covered the process used in selecting and portraying the character's objective. Many of the same principles also apply to the selection of the emotions. As with the objective, the ability to choose and convey strong emotions is a valuable tool for the actor. Many performances work mainly because of the powerful emotional portrayals.

    In a dramatic sense, what are emotions and how do they affect the audience? Emotions, together with intentions and obstacles, are the forces that move the characters through the story. They are feelings so powerful that they can change the character's life or destroy it. And by destroy, I mean decimate one's inner powers, beliefs, even one's life. For the actor, such feelings must be larger than life. They must also be readable to stir and lead the audience in the desired story direction.

    Emotions affect the audience in many ways. Most important is the empathy they create causing the audience to care about certain characters and follow their struggles. They likewise, create a for or against polarity for each main character as the audience observes, evaluates, judges, and even takes sides. As part of the behavior, emotions create deeper awareness of the character, often justifying their actions. In addition, emotions can change the audience perspective and the way they feel or think about a given issue. They are instrumental in leading the audience in the desired story direction

    Like the intention, the emotion can intensify the conflict within or between characters. It can likewise, establish sympathetic or antagonistic roles, ones that make the audience root for the hero and boo the villain.

    In choosing the emotion, the guidelines are similar to those used in selecting the objective. First read and study the entire play. Look for clues in the dialogue, the action, the stage directions, and in the resolution of the story. Select choices that result in the story line making sense.

    Like the intent of the character, the emotion is derived from the character's viewpoint, what the character knows and feels up to that point in the story.

    No one lives in a realistic world. We occupy a space of our own creation – bits and pieces of actuality mixed together with our internal perceptions, our hopes, our fears, our memories, and our anticipations. This "reality" we live in – half fact, half fantasy – is as much the product of our emotions as our rationality. Thus, in any given situation, what might be an acceptable intention and emotion for one character might be a contradiction for another character. Knowing the character's goals, flaws, and inclinations in context of the total story will aid in determining these choices.

    Next, we need to answer the question, does the character's emotion assist the intention or does the emotion create an obstacle? Placing the objective, what the character wants, in conflict with what he or she feels will likely shift the focus of the scene to the character with the greater internal struggle.

    Let's use the example where a man is at a dance and sees the women of his dreams sitting alone. His intention might be: To get to know her. But his emotion, fear of being rejected, would be in conflict with his intention. Thus the focus of the scene would be primarily on his internal struggle and the purpose of the scene might be to show the man overcoming his fear.

    But let's say her intention, to marry rich, is assisted by the emotion, ambition. And the scene resolves when the women walks away when she discovers the man is dirt poor. If his initial emotion of fear were replaced by desire and his intention remained to get to know her then the focus of the scene would center more on the relationship and the impending discovery. The purpose of the scene could be to introduce his major obstacle in the story, the women, along with his over all goal: To win her love.

    The initial choices for each character might look like this:

    MAN

    Objective: To get to know her

    Emotion: Fear / Desire

    WOMAN

    Objective: To marry rich

    Emotion: Ambition

    The above choices set up confrontations, the inner doubts of the man, and then, his desire for her is countered by the revelation that he's not rich enough for her. After the woman learns this, her emotion changes to contempt for the man and she walks away. The characters' choices would now change to:

    MAN

    Objective: To win her love

    Emotion: Determination

    WOMAN

    Objective: To marry rich

    Emotion: Contempt (for the man)

    These choices place the focus of the scene on the major conflict that is resolved later in the story when he wins her love. It, likewise, centers on what's important, the relationship.

    As with the intention of the characters, the emotion need not follow the logic of the dialogue and action. Modern plays and movies do not always express the thoughts and emotions of the characters clearly, nakedly, up front. Today, we have to play the duality of people; playing what they appear to want against what they really want. And sometimes the two may have no connection what so ever.

    In modern plays, every character has two behaviors. What is really going on and what they are willing to show to the world? So many emotions, to be played properly, need to be partially masked or repressed.

    Using the man and woman from our earlier example, let's set up a scene later in the story, one that demonstrates the duality of the characters and uses of partially masked or repressed emotions. At a shopping mall, they meet by chance and their dialogue is mainly small talk. The scene ends with each alluding to errands undone. The only hint about what is really going on is found in the following script action lines:

    He rarely looks directly at her.

    They shake hands, each holding on longer than necessary, and then each goes their way.

    In view of the story's final outcome, this is likely a scene where her objective, to marry rich, is weakening, and that she has some attraction for the man. Based on how their first meeting resolved, their selections might be as follows:

    MAN

    Objective: To not upset her / To win her love

    Emotion: Desire / Determination

    WOMAN

    Objective: To show him I don't care / To make him want me

    Emotion: Determination / Curiosity

    This would be a scene where the characters are not open with each other, yet the audience (or camera) is aware of the inner conflicts and what's really happening. The behavior could best be reflected through masked and / or repressed emotions.

    If the man were to play his emotion of desire openly, he would surely upset her. So he has to repress it or use a mask technique and unleash his desire when she is not looking at him. The woman is determined to show the man she doesn't care about him, but now he appears to have no desire for her. From her point of view, something has come to change the relationship and as a result, she alters both her objective and emotion.

    His apparent disinterest makes her curious and her objective in now: To make him want me, like all men do. Her actions might be to get his attention, to entice him. But the problem is, he's not looking at her. How can she obtain what she wants? She uses the lingering handshake.

    You can see where these choices create conflict both within and between the characters. They also create subtle shifts in behavior that move the story forward. Interest in the relationship is likewise increased because the audience is aware of something the characters are not. And as the scene ends, the audience has a pressing question: "What will happen the next time they meet?"

    The foregoing example demonstrates one answer to the character's choices. These are, by no means, the best or only selections. In fact, the type of actor you are is also a consideration. If you were Jack Nicholson, your emotions might be different than if Arnold Schwarzenegger were he playing the same role. Each actor brings to the scene his or her own perspective and emotional latitudes. Furthermore, a scene played as a comedy versus one being played as a drama might result in different sets of emotions for the characters.

    Here are some other factors that should be considered: Who are you in the story? What is the situation, and what is the relationship? For instance, if you were playing a love scene as a character that had little experience with the opposite sex, your emotion might be fear (fear of the unknown) rather than the expected desire or lust.

    Now change the situation to your having a good dinner with your loving spouse. Your emotion would change to maybe contentment or joy. Now change the relationship to your having dinner with an important client. Your emotion might range from apprehension to ambition to greed. Who you are, the relationships, and the situation, all have a bearing on the emotion selected.

    How many emotions can you use in a scene and how long do you play an emotion? As a general rule, work with only one dominant emotion in a scene – until something occurs to change it. These occurrences could be a change in the relationship, the situation, who you are, new information, overcoming obstacles, new obstacles, and succeeding or failing at one's intention. Any one of these events could have enough impact to motivate a change.

    Most scenes have one dominant emotion running through them and while the actor may use subtle shadings of other emotions, that one feeling prevails – until something occurs to change it. If the actor were to change the emotion at each minor occurrence, the audience would question the character's integrity and loyalty to the cause for which he is fighting.

    Too many changes cause the character to lose part of his identity. We become uncertain about who he is, what he's attempted in the past, or what he's after now. Credible characters are made up of consistent behavioral patterns. By that I mean, what has happened before will likely happen again should the same situation occur. There will, of course, be a few surprises, but for the most part, certain emotions will dominate each character's behavior as he or she progresses through the story.

    So when you research and study the entire play, you will likely find certain emotions and emotional patterns repeated to reinforce the identity and commitment of the character. For instance, the repeated pattern of mischief – embarrassment – fear might be the dominant emotions for a small overly rambunctious boy. A young executive struggling with business ethics might have an emotion pattern of ambition – determination – greed – guilt. A woman in jeopardy might follow a curiosity-suspicion – fear – terror progression.

    As you can see, certain emotions and their progressions make up a portion of the character. Also look for surprises where the emotion swings 180 degrees, ie, contentment to fear, desire to contempt, revenge to compassion.

    When working on a play or scene, write down in the margin of the script your choices in objectives and emotions, where the changes occur, and the motivation for making the change. Beginning actors tend to be non-committal while experienced actors, however, take dramatic risks and commit themselves to their choices. By writing them down, you've made a major step to that commitment.

    To aid in selecting the emotion, I've compiled discussions of root emotions , the primary forces in most scenes. These discussions explore the physical sensations, sources, forms, and dynamics of the most common root emotions. They will serve as a guide in stretching the clarity, strength, and polarity of your emotional repertoire.

    This article has covered the basic skills used in the selection of dramatic emotions. Use these skills as tools to nurture and release the character's true feelings, to foster the isolation and control of emotional behaviors, and to achieve the desired strength (story importance), clarity (audience knowing / feeling it) and polarity (protagonist-antagonist orientations ).

    Implementation of your selections is addressed in another article. This article will cover the various methods used to generate credible emotions.

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    Source by Erik Sean McGiven

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  • When You're Back on the Dating Scene

    When You're Back on the Dating Scene

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    With so many relationships breaking down and such a high percentage of marriages ending in divorce it's no wonder that many of us will, at some point, end up back on the dating scene.

    We may be older and wiser, a little battered and bruised, but often, once we're ready to date again, thinking about rejoining the fray, we'll be harboring the fantasy of meeting someone special. Back on the dating scene means being optimistic, hopeful and looking forward to finding love again.

    What do we need to consider when we're back on the dating scene?

    – Our previous relationship experiences may have scarred our view and made us wary of what might go wrong. We may be keen to meet someone new but are nervous of trusting again. Cynicism of others' motives and being uncertain of our own instincts after getting it wrong may be sensible forms of self-protection, but if we treat all new dates with apprehension they will quickly sense our hesitancy and lack of enthusiasm. It's not going to bode well if we're on permanent alert, suspicious of their comments, behavior or intentions.

    Counseling and hypnotherapy can be a useful start to the healing process and a good way to deal with past upsets. Therapy can help us to improve our confidence, self-esteem and remedy unwanted habit patterns, so becoming more assertive in an appropriate adult way. Don't forget that most potential dates will have their own story too, with their concerns, unease and fears. Starting out, second time around, can be a cautious time for both.

    – This can be a good time to do things that boost your confidence. Maybe your wardrobe, make up or grooming regime need a refresh. Small changes can make a massive difference to how you feel about yourself and often cost very little to implement. Pay attention to current affairs, popular TV and local events so that you can easily join in conversations and offer relevant opinions. Think about picking up a hobby or interest, volunteering or joining a course. Exams don't have to be a factor!

    – You may have to deal with children who are not too impressed at the thought of you dating again. They may have been through the damage of the breakup, witnessed the pain of the divorce and are used to you being around, more like your old self and always there for them. The thought of a new 'mum' or 'dad' arriving on the scene may fill them with horror.

    Dependant on their age and awareness of the reasons for the breakup, they may have put your ex on a pedestal, especially if he or she is seen as the victim, all alone and struggling to recover. Giving you 'permission' to starting dating again might seem like a step too far and incredibly disloyal.

    Children's jealousy, resentment and emotional blackmail may need to be navigated with kind but firm determination, especially if they refuse to share you or treat any potential serious new relationship with shock or disdain. Sometimes it's advisable to keep the fact that you're dating private until you're confident that this new relationship is right for you, even if that decision remains in place for months or even years, until the children are older or more settled.

    And if they do insist on overseeing your love life it's important to refuse to allow yourself to be bullied by them. Older children are often determined to live their life on their terms, but equally they must allow you to do the same.

    – Ageing, older parents can sometimes start to increase their demands just as you're ready to start back on the dating scene. They may be increasingly fragile and in need of greater levels of support. There may be concerns at leaving them unattended for too long, or that you could be called away at a moments notice. It could make the notion of dating again seem like too much hassle.

    But supportive friends or the services offered by many local care agencies could potentially step into the breach and provide whatever level of support is required to help ease those concerns. And mobile phones make us all easily accessible.

    – Friends too can send mixed messages. Sometimes at the outset, they may display great enthusiasm about getting you back on the dating scene. They may be keen to introduce you to single friends, arrange coffees, support you as you aim to lose a little weight and update your image. But then, if you become more committed to dating reality may sink in for them. The awareness that if you become serious about someone new and how it could significantly change your close, supportive relationship may hit them hard and prompt them to revise their approach.

    Become aware of them starting to discourage you or of them regularly finding fault with your new love interest. Trust your gut and pay attention to any reasonable concerns they may have, but also appreciate that other people's perception of your date will be different to yours, especially if they're coming from a long-established, cozy, familiar relationship scenario.

    Have some fun, take good care of yourself and enjoy getting back on the dating scene!

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    Source by Susan Leigh

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  • 4 Easy Ways to Spice Up Things in the Bedroom

    Are you in a relationship that seems as if it is stalled in the bedroom?  If so, your first thought may be to terminate the relationship.  But, what if your relationship is long-term?  What if you are married?  What if you really do love your partner?  What steps should you take then?

    When it comes to being unhappy in the bedroom, it is important to know that ending a marriage or a relationship should only be used as a last approach.  Instead, you will want to take steps to spice things up.  Doing so may improve more than just your intimacy, but it may do wonders for your relationship in general.

    As nice as it is to hear that you can and should spice things up and in the bedroom, you may be unsure as to how you should proceed.  If that is the case, please continue reading on.  Below, four easy ways that you can spice things up in the bedroom, are covered.

    1 – Engage in Foreplay

    When you do have sex, what happens?  Do you and your partner get right down to business?  If you do, that may be a huge problem.  Unfortunately, many couples do not realize that intimacy is more than just about having sex.  It is also about having a happy and healthy relationship.  If you rely on sex to make your relationship succeed, there is a very good chance that it will actually fail.

    If you and your partner don’t already engage in foreplay, start doing so.  Also, remember that foreplay doesn’t have to start in the bedroom.  Call your lover, send a text message, or a handwritten note expressing your desires to get intimate with them later on.

    2 – Be Spontaneous

    When you want to have sex, what do you do?  If you actually take the time to ask your partner if they want to be intimate with you, you may be doing more harm than good.  Asking first can make being intimate seem more like a chore than something that should bring you pleasure.  The next time that you want to move to the bedroom, don’t ask first.  Just lead your partner there.  In fact, who needs a bedroom?

    Know that being spontaneous is about more than not talking about sex first.  Ways that you can be spontaneous with your partner is to have sex at a different time, date, or place.

    3 – Talk About Your Fantasies

    One of the biggest reasons why couples have problems with sex is because one person isn’t having their desires fulfilled.  If that is the case with you?  Does your partner know what you like or what you want to get out of being intimate?  If not, it is time for you to let them know.

    Be sure to talk to your partner about your sexual fantasies and desires.  What would you like to try in the bedroom?  In addition to expressing your wants, needs, and darkest fantasies, be sure to let your partner do the same.  Remember that both of you should walk away from an intimate encounter pleased.

    4 – Experiment in the Bedroom

    Another one of the easy ways that you can spice up things in the bedroom is by experimenting.  When doing so, you may be pleased with all of your options.  For starters, you can try a new sex position.  This may not only lead to extra pleasure, but fun and excitement.  Sex toys, romantic or pornographic videos, and role playing are other good ideas for experimenting in the bedroom.

    Remember that experimenting in the bedroom is a good way to spice up your intimacy, but be sure to use your best judgment.  It may be a wise decision to first discuss making changes with your partner, as you will not want to make him or her feel uncomfortable.

    So there you have it!  You know have a few ideas on how you can go about spicing up things in the bedroom.  So what are you waiting for?  Get started today.

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  • Facebook Fantasy Stock Exchange

    One of the great things about this website Facebook is the ability to easily keep in contact with everyone you know. There are fun and free applications that make it more than a fancy address book. Facebook is a social website where you post your profile, search for friends, play games, and add information that is important to you. One of the ways you can do this is with a program called Fantasy Stock Exchange. With Fantasy Stock Exchange, you can meet new people who are interested in the stock market and finances just like you are. Using Facebook to join groups and socialize is just one aspect of this website. Add the fact that Smartphones have Facebook applications and you can take your entire social experience with you wherever you go.

    Find applications like Fantasy Stock Exchange by using categories. Categories are how Facebook organizes the applications for you to use. To find an application, choose a category that interests you and browse the applications available. There are many different categories to select from. Applications such as Fantasy Stock Exchange are in the Business and Money categories.

    Many applications, including Fantasy Stock Exchange, can help you expand your group of friends. You can use these applications to find new friends and have fun with current ones. To find applications that interest you through a general search, log into Facebook, click on applications, and then choose browse. Enter what you are looking for in the search box. Fantasy Stock Exchange by HedgeStop.com is a great application that many find fun.

    Fantasy Stock Exchange by HedgeStop.com is one of many applications available on Facebook. It has a rating of 3.2 out of 5 stars. This rating is based on the input from 31 unique users. In addition to the rating, you can see that this program is popular by the fact that 8,925 daily active users also enjoy it. When you play Fantasy Stock Exchange, you start with $10 million dollars. If you invite 4 friends, your starting amount changes to $50 million dollars. Here is where having a lot of contacts benefits you. Buy and sell stocks to build your portfolio into a huge profit making machine. Perhaps start your own hedge fund. Become a Wall Street wizard overnight. Compete with all other Fantasy Stock Exchange players to be the number 1 trader on Facebook. This program can be addictive so be sure to keep an eye on the time if you are at work. There are many individuals that enjoy sharing and competing through Fantasy Stock Exchange. Why not give this one a try. It really adds a lot of fun to Facebook.

    The applications Facebook offers are fun. Fantasy Stock Exchange is just one example of how much fun Facebook can be. With websites like Facebook, we are connecting to our friends and relatives in a way never before possible. Overall, Facebook is a great social website. Fantasy Stock Exchange is just one example of how you can customize Facebook and make it into you own unique experience. Using Fantasy Stock Exchange can really add to your Facebook enjoyment. If the Business and Money categories interest you, be sure to browse them for more useful, fun and informative applications. The more you use Facebook, the better it becomes for everyone.

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  • Magic Entertainment

    Magic Entertainment

    The form of entertainment known as stage magic or conjuring and recognisable as performance, is based on traditions and texts of magical rites and dogmas that have been a part of most cultural traditions since ancient times. (References to magic, for example, can be found in the Bible, in Hermeticism, in Zoroastrianism, in the Kabbalistic tradition, in mysticism and in the sources of Freemasonry.)

    Stage magic is performed for an audience in a variety of media and locations: on stage, on television, in the street, and live at parties or events. It is often combined with other forms of entertainment, such as comedy or music and showmanship is often an essential part of magic performances. Performance magic relies on deception, psychological manipulation, sleight of hand and other forms of trickery to give an audience the illusion that a performer can achieve the impossible. Audiences amazed at the stunt performances and escape acts of Harry Houdini, for example, regarded him as a magician.

    Fantasy magicians have held an important place in literature for centuries, offering entertainment to millions of readers. Famous wizards such as Merlin in the Arthurian legends have been written about since the 5th and 6th centuries, while in the 21st century, the young wizard Harry Potter became a global entertainment phenomenon when the book series about him sold about 450 million copies (as at June 2011), making it the best-selling book series in history.

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  • Children’s story book released to help children and young people cope with COVID-19

    Children’s story book released to help children and young people cope with COVID-19

    GENEVA, 9 April 2020 – A new story book that aims to help children understand and come to terms with COVID-19 has been produced by a collaboration of more than 50 organizations working in the humanitarian sector, including the World Health Organization, the United Nations Children’s Fund, the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees, the International Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies and Save the Children.

    With the help of a fantasy creature, Ario, “My Hero is You, How kids can fight COVID-19!” explains how children can protect themselves, their families and friends from coronavirus and how to manage difficult emotions when confronted with a new and rapidly changing reality.

    The book – aimed primarily at children aged 6-11 years old – is a project of the Inter-Agency Standing Committee Reference Group on Mental Health and Psychosocial Support in Emergency Settings, a unique collaboration of United Nations agencies, national and international nongovernmental organizations and international agencies providing mental health and psychosocial support in emergency settings.

    During the early stages of the project, more than 1700 children, parents, caregivers and teachers from around the world shared how they were coping with the COVID-19 pandemic. The input was invaluable to script writer and illustrator Helen Patuck and the project team in making sure that the story and its messages resonated with children from different backgrounds and continents.

    In order to reach as many children as possible, the book will be widely translated, with six language versions released today and more than 30 others in the pipeline. It is being released as both an online product and audio book.

    ————

    Download the book here

    My Hero is You: all language versions

    Quotes from collaborating partners

     World Health Organization

    Dr Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, Director-General (awaiting clearance)

    “Previous humanitarian emergencies have shown us how vital it is to address the fears and anxiety of young people when life as they know it gets turned upside down. We hope that this beautifully-illustrated book, which takes children on a journey across time zones and continents, will help them to understand what they can do to stay positive and keep safe during the coronavirus outbreak.”

    UNICEF

    Henrietta Fore, Executive Director

    “All over the world, children’s lives have been completely upended — the majority of them living in countries with some form of restricted movement or lockdown. This wonderful book helps children understand and navigate this new landscape and learn how they can take small actions to become the heroes in their own stories.”

    UNHCR

    Filippo Grandi, United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees.

    “This is an important resource for children around the world with a strong message of inclusion at its heart – that this pandemic can only be beaten if everyone is included in its prevention and response. Children, including those who are refugees, displaced and stateless, can help too. No-one is protected unless we are all protected”.

    UNESCO

    Audrey Azoulay, Director General

    “Sharing facts and reliable information is vital to respond to COVID-19, and I wish to commend the creativity and passion of all artists, writers and publishers who find compelling ways to translate and craft stories and artwork so they can reach children and families to comfort and guide them through a distressing situation.  UNESCO is proud to support this initiative and we see this as an example of the contribution of the artistic community to the well-being and resilience of all.”

    —–

    For requests relating to translations

    Inter-Agency Standing Committee Reference Group on Mental Health and Psychosocial Support in Emergency Settings, Email: mhpss.refgroup@gmail.com

     

     

     

     

    Children’s story book released to help children and young people cope with COVID-19
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    https://www.who.int/news-room/detail/09-04-2020-children-s-story-book-released-to-help-children-and-young-people-cope-with-covid-19

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  • Why Yahoo Will Stop Allowing Social Media Sign-Ins

    Yahoo Inc. will discontinue allowing consumers to access its bouquet of online services, including the photo sharing website Flickr and Fantasy Sports, by logging in with their Google or Facebook accounts.

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    http://www.associationofmarketing.org/articles/view.php?article_id=14472

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  • Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? A Review of My Millionaire Mentor

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    My Millionaire Mentor Review

    Who wants to be a millionaire? Everyone! And yes, this opportunity promises to make you one in a matter of months. But hey, don’t we know that if there is something that sounds too good to be true, it is likely to be not true? Whenever we see any opportunity that promises a lot of money very fast, and with minimal efforts, it is natural to feel a little skeptical about it. There are thousands of such scams on the internet which claim to let you into a secret which will make you a millionaire in a matter of months. But eventually, you just end up spending your precious time and your hopes are dashed when time passes by and you make no money at all.

    However, My Millionaire Mentor seems to be slightly different from all those false promises that are strewn around the internet. So let’s try and figure out whether this is actually a good opportunity or yet another internet money making scam.

    What is My Millionaire Mentor?

    My Millionaire Mentor is Ryan Matthew’s personal website where he offers to train fifty internet newbies and teach them a six step secret which will make them earn anything from $1000 to $5000 per day. Wow! That’s a lot of money, right? But what does one have to do in order to earn this kind of money? That is precisely what millionaire Ryan Matthews wants to teach you.

    He is going to personally coach the first fifty people who sign up for this program, and he promises to let them in on the secret which has made him earn around $11 million in just two years. He adds that in order to make that whopping amount of money, he had to work for only an hour per day! When you see his San Diego beach house and his neat set of supercars, it seems like a fantasy. And when he promises that you can have all of that, it seems to be an even more unlikely proposition.

    Ryan Matthews also adds that this process is completely risk free, and does not involve going to your friends and family to sell a particular product. He makes it very clear in his promotional video that you will not be a salesperson of any kind. Moreover, he guarantees that there is no way that you can lose money by participating in this program. So what is this program all about? Read on to find out more.

    Is My Millionaire Mentor A Good Opportunity?

    In the promotional video for the company, we find people from different walks of life thanking Ryan Matthews for completely transforming their lives. One instantly identifies with those people. All of us have debts and mortgages that we struggle to pay, even though some of us work on two jobs. We spend all our days working hard to pay off our debts, while the best times of our lives just pass us by. Who wouldn’t want to spend more time with their kids rather than working in office on a Saturday night? Moreover, there are so many other financial pressures that we have on our shoulders – like college funds, home loans, health worries – that we hardly find time to follow our dreams and live our lives to the fullest.

    Thus, when an opportunity like My Millionaire Mentor comes to us, it is absolutely alluring. But the thing is, the internet is full of many financial scams which claim to transform your lives, but end up taking money from you. All of us have been disappointed many times through various such programs that claim to make us millionaires but end up taking our own hard earned money.

    So we need to be very careful before getting into any such program which offers easy money. My Millionaire Mentor states it very clearly that it is a scheme which has long term returns. On the plus side, that means that your grandchildren can enjoy the fruits of your labor. However, on the other hand, it means that it will take some time before you can earn some real money for yourself.

    How Does My Millionaire Mentor Work?

    It is clear from the promotional video on the website that the product is basically a free traffic source that you will get unlimited access to if you become a member of this program. The other benefits include special coaching by Ryan Matthews over the phone. He will personally mentor you on how to best use his product and maximize the profits for yourself. Once you become a member of what Matthews calls a secret millionaire club, you will have access to the various tips and tricks that will help you to make money. It is also mentioned in the video that the way in which you will make money is 100% legal, moral and ethical.

    So once you have access to the free traffic source, you will get clients who will pay you $1000 to $5000 a day for sending them traffic over the internet. Internet traffic is basically all the clicks that lead people to different website. According to Ryan Matthews, he has access to clients who are ready to pay that much amount of money for access to your traffic. In effect, you will be an internet traffic broker who will work with millionaire Ryan Matthews to coordinate internet traffic and redirect it to your clients.

    Basically, it is an opportunity where you will be doing affiliate marketing. Affiliate marketing is an actual money making source on the web where you get paid for traffic that you send to your client’s website. And if you have access to a good traffic source which you can turn on or off at will, it is possible that you will make a lot of money online.

    There are six steps to making this work – but that is classified information which you will get access to once you become a part of this program.

    How Can You Make the First $500 Through My Millionaire Mentor?

    In the promotional video, Matthews promises you that once you become one of the private members of the My Millionaire Mentor program, you will earn $500 and much more in the first month. In fact, you can around $5000 a day, without even leaving the comfort of your home. And to top it all, you just need a computer with an internet connection to do this job.

    In order to become a private member, the entry fee is $1000. But in effect, you pay only $49 because you are refunded $500 immediately. You get your money back immediately, and Ryan Matthews guarantees that you don’t have to spend a penny more than $49 to get into this program.

    Matthews also tells that by becoming a private member, you will get to be a part of a highly regarded company that is going to be the next big billion dollar internet empire in times to come. Though it is a speculation, in the internet age, anything is possible.

    The process which Ryan Matthews is going to teach you is actually a very simple process which many people have used on the internet in order to make money. It is called affiliate marketing. Affiliate marketing is basically a process through which you send traffic to the websites of your clients. And for each click that leads a person to your client’s website from your source, you get paid a certain amount as commission. And if you have access to a source from where you can send millions of clicks to your clients, you will seriously earn a lot of money online. So, technically, My Millionaire Mentor is a concept that could actually earn if you serious money if Ryan Matthews actually handed out a free traffic source to you.

    Pros and Cons of My Millionaire Mentor

    It is evident that this is a program which appears to have some sort of risk. But then, that is life. There are certain risks that one has to take, especially if you want to be a millionaire.

    Technically, Ryan Matthews is asking for just $49 from you for getting access to a private group where you will be coached on the secrets of making money on the internet. This scheme does not have an MLM structure, and you need not sell anything. It is absolutely legal, and all you have to do is broker internet traffic.

    Moreover, once you sign up, you get an immediate return of $500, which is a very good proposition. If you really get that money, it is a fantastic deal. Especially since you could go on to make more money in following months.

    One of the cons of this entire program is that by watching the promotional video, you get to know very little about the process. There are many things which are not spelled out clearly, which makes it difficult to take the plunge and actually subscribe to the scheme and be a part of the millionaire mentor club.

    However, the testimonials from the various people who have tried this out spells out that there are people out there who are making money from this program. And that is exactly what makes you want to go ahead and try it.

    Another con of this program is that earning money through affiliate marketing can sometimes be a very slow process. But this is something that Matthews tells you in the promotional video itself. It is a long term investment plan whereby you will take some time to earn money.

    But on the other hand, Ryan Matthews is also promising to let you on into a secret six-step process which will make the money making process much faster. So once become a part of the secret millionaire club and get to know the secret process which gives you access to more traffic, you might be able to make serious money online. And the success stories that are shared in the promotional video clearly say that people are making money quite fast. In fact, one woman said that she made more money through My Millionaire Mentor in two months than she had made in two years.

    Now, that is something!

    The biggest minus of this entire project is previous experience. Whenever we hear about something that promises to give us a lot of money without working hard, it raises our suspicions. Also, there are thousands of scams on the internet which make a fool of people who do not have sufficient knowledge about the topic and subscribe to various programs hoping to make money. In the end, they realize that all of it was a scam.

    Conclusion

    The good thing about My Millionaire Mentor is that you get to see people for whom this process has worked, and that tends to give you some courage to go ahead and take the plunge. What you need to do is hear Ryan Matthews for yourself. Go to his website and have a look at his promotional video. If you feel that what he is saying is worth giving a try, you can go ahead and become a private member of the millionaire club. It is a conscious decision that you need to take for yourself, now that you already know the pros and cons of the program.

    If you think that this is yet another money-making scam on the internet, don’t sign up for it. However, if you think that this program really has the potential to completely turn your life around, go ahead and become one of the protégés of Ryan Matthews. After all, every one of us dreams of having a Lamborghini parked at our garage, and a wonderful, spacious home from where we can see the sunset with our loved ones. There are some dreams that can be fulfilled when you become a millionaire, and if you are a person who nurses such dreams, you might want to try out My Millionaire Mentor to see what’s in store for you.

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    Source by David Morgan

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  • Addiction To Unrequited Love

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    The Torchbearer – S/he will love me one day

    It sounds silly for one to be addicted to unrequited love, but it can sometimes be the result of growing up in a household where love was either conditional or not consistent. As a child, the “torchbearer,” may have been always trying to win the love, praise or affection from a parent (or someone else influential) who was unavailable, abusive or failed to provide proper nurturing…. or the child could have witnessed one parent in a sort of unrequited love relationship with the other and could have taken that energy on. If it wasn’t an issue of childhood environment, then possibly some sort of other trauma occurred to upset the torchbearer’s self-esteem and their ability to feel safe receiving love. It can also result from a sudden and unexpected separation, betrayal, health, or appearance issue.

    At an existential level, the torchbearer may have developed a belief that they are not worthy of love and they may find themselves attracted to love situations that seem to keep them stuck in this dynamic: loving someone, but not able to fully receive love back. Although the person feels unworthy of love on some level, often they know they are worthy on another level, which the torchbearer then may become confused as to why they stay addicted to an unavailable person. The relationship then becomes about fantasy, idealization, avoidance, or a love-hate relationship ensues where the addict both loves and disapproves of the object of their devotion.

    According to love addiction expert Susan Peabody, the main categories of love addictions include:

    • obsessed love addicts: obsess and can’t let go even if their partners are unavailable or abusive
    • codependent love addiction: needy to please partner for sense of self
    • narcissistic love addicts: take advantage of their partner and can act disinterested, selfish or abusive and yet still feel addicted to partner and can’t let go
    • ambivalent love addicts: this category includes unrequited love addicts (also known as “torch-bearers”), saboteurs, seductive withholders, and romance addicts. The main goal through this kind of love addiction is the avoidance of true deep emotional intimacy and bonding. These addicts crave love and affection, but are afraid to get too close at the same time.

    Unrequited love addicts are part of the category of Ambivalent Love Addicts. Susan Peabody was the first to create the term “Ambivalent Love Addiction”. Her book “Addiction to Love: Overcoming Obsession and Dependency in Relationships,” is an amazing book for anyone wishing to learn more about love addiction.

    To be an ambivalent love addict, or torchbearer, means that one deeply craves love, intimacy, commitment, and unconditional love. However, at the same time, one has fears of relating deeply to another person. Such love addicts can end up pushing love away or holding it at a distance. Subconsciously, it can feel much safer for these individuals to love someone who isn’t fully there or who doesn’t want a full-on commitment. Picking an individual who is married, committed to another, distant, a player, a saboteur, or a sex addict may act to help the torchbearer avoid a true relationship. Some torchbearers end up addicted to friends or colleagues and hope the relationship will become something more.

    With many of the torchbearers that I have read, I find there is usually an excuse to continue chasing the love interest. However, there is also always a counterproductive excuse for never letting the love interest know their real feelings. It is even possible that if the object of infatuation actually returned affection or expressed desire for commitment towards the love addict, the love addict might not crave the interest anymore. One popular excuse that I have heard reads something like: “getting what I wanted or asked for took too long, therefore I no longer trust the love interest anymore, so I no longer want a relationship.” Once the love interest gives up, separation anxiety sets in again. Why does this occur? An illusion has been broken and the person idolized has become more human and less of a challenge to the ego.

    The torchbearer runs the risk that even if they obtain the object of their desire they may not achieve the closeness or intimacy they desire unless they change why they were addicted in the first place. Sometimes the addiction simply changes. An addict may transform from a torchbearer into a seductive withholder. They can even start becoming a codependent love addict if the once unrequited love relationship begins to become real.

    So, how do you know if you are addicted to unrequited love?

    What are the symptoms? The symptoms listed below are not comprehensive, but ones I typically see with clients (usually women):

    • Do you obsess over or find yourself only attracted to love interests who are not available in some way or who are married, playing you, who are “just friends,” or have left you?
    • Do you fear communication or to let the person know your interest in them, feelings, and other basic questions for fear of rejection or to keep the fantasy going? Or do you find yourself communicating but unable to accept a lack of response or a non-commital response without hoping if you wait long enough you will be wholly wanted?
    • Do you suffer in silence while you hold adoration towards someone who doesn’t really know? Some unrequited love addicts pursue their interests opening and ardently, but others can hold torches for people who they will not let themselves get close to nor let themselves be revealed in any real way.
    • Do you expect your love interest to be psychic/empathic and to just know and interpret your feelings and needs, even though there has been no grounded communication? Are you living out your relationship psychically or vicariously through “signs” or empathic feelings that the other person may be thinking about you, even if there is no contact?
    • Do you find yourself always hoping and waiting for the other person to make an interest in you known?
    • Can you never feel “close” in a real way to the person you are holding a torch for?
    • Are you always living out the relationship in your head?
    • Are you continually asking yourself many questions, wondering about the other person feelings and intentions (or potential future intentions) without ever grounding anything to test to see if any fantasies are real?
    • Do you have other addictions, such as to sex, psychics, alcohol etc?
    • Do you feel you cannot let go of the love interest even though it is not making you feel loved? Do feel powerless to stop at will.
    • Is the preoccupation with this interest having a more negative affect on you spiritually, financially and other ways than positive? In the end, are you losing more than you gain?
    • Do you have a history of being hurt or obsessing on lack of love, attention or approval by a parent or someone else influential in your earlier life?
    • For those with less intense expressions of this addiction: are you confused why you only seem to attract or are attracted to unavailable people or people who are not 100% wanting a relationship? And with this, do you feel bored with people who are into you or once a relationship starts to develop? Does it seem that all the people who would be right and loving towards you, you cannot “fall in love” with?

    If you have an “interest” that you crave but are afraid to reach out to in any real and genuine way for fear of rejection, then you might be addicted to unrequited love. You may also be addicted if there is an underlying knowledge that expressing your wants and needs would not be appropriate. I’ve talked to many clients who are totally engaged with these types of interests, sometimes even sexually. But, usually they know on some level there are certain things they cannot ask/dare put forward cause the relationship is casual though they want something more. Though the “craving” is not always required, this article is mostly written for the hard core unrequited love addict.

    Here is an example of one kind of non-communicative unrequited love addict who does have some relationship and interaction with her love interest:

    A woman starts to like an attractive man. They meet and there is some flirting — the man seems interested to the woman. Information is exchanged followed by mixed signals that mark the relationship. The woman starts obsessing and fantasizing about having a relationship with the man. However, the man won’t make a clear move and the woman ends up doing most of the contacting to keep interaction ongoing. The woman acts casual because she wants the man to make his interest known first. She is getting some cues of affection and indication of interest, but it’s kept superficial and she is always unsure. This goes on for some time, sometimes months, and she starts thinking “Does this guy really want a relationship or am I just casual or a friend?” Despite feeling a sense of unknowing and distress, the woman will never risk asking to find out. She starts asking advice from other friends who tell her to forget about the man, but she hangs on in hope he will ask for a real date or commitment or show he cares.

    The man is simply not putting out vibe of wanting a full-on relationship. However, she starts to fantasize that maybe he is just scared, can’t communicate or is insecure. She fantasizes that he will start to be more demonstrative or want something more if she can just hang in or never upset the status quo. She even wonders, “should I say something or make a move”, but something inside is telling her it’s not safe to tell this person how she feels because they are not on the same page, so she withholds keeps holding a torch for this person. She finds out the man has started to pursue someone else and she feels upset and feels betrayed. But, still, she has never had clear indication they are in a “relationship.”

    In the worst cases of unrequited love addiction I have seen, the client is addicted to psychics, using spell casters to cast spells to make their love more available, or are even asking for healing sessions on the person they are addicted to hoping healing something in their love interest will change the reality of what is going on.

    What Can You Do If This Sounds Like You?

    Often, I see two main themes running in these relationships: fear of true communication (or fear of accepting a communication or lack there of), and fear of vulnerability & rejection. Many times I also recommend torchbearers learn how to set boundaries and how to respect others boundaries. If the torchbearer is holding on waiting for a “sign” or demonstration from the love object, afraid of giving up, learning communication would help with getting out of fantasizing a relationship and making it more real. In the least, the torchbearer can get closure, if the love addict’s desires are not reciprocated.

    Getting closure isn’t always an easy thing for a love addict. It is often considered to be a harsh rejection. Many frightened unrequited love addicts wish to avoid being hurt at all costs. However, with this cost, these love addicts avoid true intimacy and relationships.

    Most unrequited love clients I work with have a shut down throat chakra. They may have been raised or learned through some experience that expressing feelings or needs is a burden on others, a sign of weakness, inferiority or something to be afraid of. Codependent types are afraid to cause any sort of confrontation or rejection for themselves. However, the only way out is through. The crux is that this dynamic is used to avoid another hurt or rejection and this continues the cycle of avoiding true commitment, intimacy and bonding.

    Step 1: Communication With Yourself

    The first step is for the torchbearers to ask themselves what they truly want from a relationship. What is their vision of how they want to be loved and committed to? This step may be one of the hardest. The unrequited love addict may be so used to avoiding confrontation that asking them to figure out what they want and need seems strange. Torchbearers ask themselves “How do I get someone who doesn’t care to do so? How can I be better? More lovable?” Simply leaving an unrequited love may not solve the problem either. It may just transfer the love addiction from one of pursuing the unrequited love interest to holding a torch and suffering in silence while pining after the loss. They may remain stuck, wondering if maybe this person is still missing them or thinking of them and it gives them hope for reconciliation.

    Step 2: Communication With Your Love Interest

    If communication is possible to ask for closure, this is the next step. I recommend asking in direct ways and not just looking for “signs.” State what you want out of love and a relationship, and ask the object of your affection if they feel they will ever be able to give it. Risk hearing the truth and risk rejection. This helps break the fantasy and though may be incredibly painful, it is the next step towards risking true intimacy and attracting the right relationship and breaking through all the fears that prevent it from coming. The whole idea of love addiction is the belief that without love one is nothing. If one can risk losing love and still see themselves as whole, then one can start going into relationships with sense of self as a sole identity which another can complement, rather than feeling another will complete them.

    Fear of intimacy (getting to know someone deeply), commitment, communication, rejection, boundaries, and confrontation needs to be challenged. Love addicts can also seem like perpetual victims or trauma junkies. So healing the need to be a victim is key too.

    Taking on the challenge of learning to set boundaries, risk confrontation and rejection, to communicate ones wants and needs (and listening to another’s – which this might be the real fear) may seem overwhelming. But, it is the only way out. All of this should be targeted, in addition to working on childhood issues, which implanted some of these fears and patterns.

    Step 3: Accepting What Is Communicated Back or Any Lack Of A Response

    Sometimes, the love addict at this stage may have been totally clear with their love interest what they want and they still feeling or receiving mixed signals. The person of their infatuation may be ambivalent, stringing them along, or afraid to just be honest and give them the closure they need. Sometimes there may be a lack of response — ie: an email is sent to the love object who appears to be avoiding sending a response back. In these cases, aim for setting a boundary for yourself on how long you will wait for what you need and stick to it. Be willing to recognize when you need to either end a relationship or at least bring it down to a more casual and detached level while you pursue other options.

    For those who find they are always making clear what they want and are still waiting to receive it or feeling unheard, the lesson may be in knowing when its time to stop voicing your needs and wants realizing they will not be met or cared for. Just affirm to yourself as much as you can that you can and are willing to find someone who can meet your wants and needs.

    Step 4: Changing and Challenging One’s Views on Love

    I also recommend changing how one views love. There is something self-absorbed in all the withholding and holding on. It is focused on fear and self-protection instead of love or generosity and true interest in another person and their needs and feelings. Many love addicts actually fool themselves into thinking their co-dependence is proof that they are being more loving than anything else. However, love is about extending and exposing oneself in the face of rejection and providing a safe and open place for someone else to extend and expose themselves. Love is not manipulative, wanting to change people or situations or waiting for such situations or people to change.

    Love is not about being a martyr either. If you can’t take a risk to know anyone else or have them tell you their wants and needs, or accept or listen when they are not on the same page, how can you expect someone to care and listen concerning your own wants and needs?

    Not all unrequited love addicts are afraid to state their wants, needs, and boundaries. But, often what can happen is the torchbearer is always stating needs and boundaries and they are not listening to what is being conveyed back. They keep hoping the love object will change, mature, or outgrow his detached stance.

    A Few Self-Help Healing Tools

    While one can always benefit from professional therapies, coaching, and alternative healing sessions geared towards transmuting thought patterns, there are a few healing tools that can be used to assist recovery from love addictions (feel free to look for others as I only mention a few here).

    If one has ever used “flower essences” before (a form of homeopathy), Australian Bush Flower Essences (www.abfeusa.com for more information) has a “Relationship Essence” which contains the following:

    • Boab: helps bring change, helps clears negative core patterns that are rooted in family and which are inherited. Can also help clear negative lines of karma that exist between individuals and past life influence.
    • Bluebell: is for those who cut themselves off from their feelings and helps to open the heart and to disolve greed and rigidity. Emotions are present but withheld and there is even fear of expressing positive emotions such as joy and love, etc through operation of fear that there is just not enough and they can’t survive if they let go of all they hold onto.
    • Bottlebrush: helps one to resolve mother issues and helps one embrace major life changes. It brushes away the past allowing individuals to move on and go forward.
    • Bush Gardenia: helps one to renew passion and interest in relationships. Helps with intimacy, and resolving where there is too much self-interest or lack of awareness in a partnership.
    • Dagger Hakea: Is for helping on to release resentments, bitterness and grudges.
    • Flannel Flower: is for those who fear emotional or physical intimacy, getting too close and who have a hard time maintaining personal boundaries. Helps one to garner trust to express ones innermost feelings.
    • Red Helmet Orchid: Helps for resolving father issues, probelms with confrontation or authority.
    • Red Suva Frangipani: Is for the rocky relationship that is challenged and is also for resolving deep sense of loss and sadness when a relationship is in trouble or has ended. Helps to heal that feeling of Wedding Bush: Is for issues with commitment to a relationship, job, goal etc. It can be used for individuals who tend to flit from one relationship to another, or for those who leave relationships when the crush phase or initial attraction has diminished.

    A book I highly recommend is Addiction to Love: Overcoming Obsession and Dependency in Relationships by Susan Peabody (co-founder of LAA).

    Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is another tool that can help with love addictions. EFT can be easy to learn for free from demonstrations on YouTube or free downloads on various sites.

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    Source by Mandy Peterson

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