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  • TOP TEN Pound 4 Pound Best Boxer Ever

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    Before we start our list, I wanted to take some time to comment on 2 fighters that may have strong support in certain communities for being among the best ever, but truly do not have a place on the list.

    NOT RANKED

    Rocky Marciano – Won 49 Lost 0, 43 KO

    Ask any Italian who the greatest boxer ever was, and you will never hear the names Ali, Louis or Sugar. Nope. You will only hear the name Rocky Marciano, the only heavyweight champion to retire undefeated. To his credit, Rocky Marciano did make a habit of beating up his opponents in the ring. Add the fact that his most notable victory was over his childhood idle, Joe Louis, whom he sent back into retirement. But Joe was well past his prime. He also beat Archie Moore, but he also was already in his early forties. So to the entire nation of Italy and her children I say to you, Rocky Marciano could not beat any of the champions in my Top T.E.N.

    Lennox Lewis – 41 wins, 2 losses, 1 draw, 32 KO

    Lewis will most likely go down as one of the most intelligent, calculated champions ever. But that is not what pound for pound is based on. Lennox was able to capitalize on Tyson’s jail term to reign as champion, then got out before the Klitchko brothers could undo the legacy he has manufactured for himself. He stayed an extra 4 years as an amateur to win a gold metal against younger opponents (Riddick Bowe for the medal bout). He then became champion only because Bowe gave up the title. He backed out of Tyson’s way (accepting a huge multi-million dollar payoff from Don King as payment for Tyson taking his ranking) as he was climbing back up to regain the championship that was handed to him. I believe that history will judge him for the fake that he truly is.

    And now, to the top ten best pound for pound boxers:

    10 – Mike Tyson – 50 wins, 5 losses, 2 no contests, 44 KO

    No other fighter has been called “the baddest man on the planet”. Mike Tyson was perhaps the most feared person in boxing history. Up until Buster Douglas embarrassed Iron Mike, Mike Tyson made fighters give up. Going up through the amateur ranks, boxers actually lost on purpose so as to not fight Tyson in tournaments. How ironic that Tyson’s worst defeat was not to a boxer, but to a beauty pageant contestant named Desiree Washington. There is a great chance that had Tyson not suffered a 3-year setback, he would have easily moved up and be universally recognized as one of the best ever.

    9 – (Big) George Foreman – Won 76 lost 5, 68 KO

    Foreman’s biggest enemy opponent has always been himself. He could not accept defeat. After making his name as one of the most dominant fighter ever, his loss to Ali took him out of professional boxing for over a year. He made his first comeback attempt in 1977, knocking out his next 5 opponents (including Frazier, again), only to retire after losing a 12 round decision. A decade later, Foreman made an improbable comeback at the age of 38. Foreman made it again near the top of the boxing rankings, and despite suffering setbacks against Holyfield and Tommy Morrison, Foreman shocked the world when he stunned Michael Moore with a knock out in the 10th round. His next few bouts further proved that even unto his late 40th, Foreman was still a formidable force.

    8 – (Sugar) Ray Leonard – 36 Wins, 3 Loss, 1 Draw, 25 KO

    Leonard has to be on this list if only for the pure psychology he was able to inflict on his opponents. Only Ali could get into his opponents head more. Add to that all the titles his has own, in multiple weight divisions, and you have your number 8 all time. Like most great fighters, he just did not know when to quit, so you will have to ignore the last few fights of his career. Sugar Ray beat them all, from Duran (No Mas, No Mas), to Hagler, then Hearns, Sugar Ray’s stock only dropped because of his own issues. He first retired due to a detached retina, and it can be argued that a serious cocaine habit between 84 and 89 further damaged his career.

    7 – (Marvelous) Marvin Hagler – 62 Wins, 3 Losses, 2 Draws, 52 KO

    Yes, we have the Marvelous one ahead of Leonard, even though Leonard beat Hagler in their one encounter. Hagler was so distraught by that loss that he left before, and even refuses to talk about that fight today. Hagler’s only 2 losses were early on in his career, and he responded to them by beating both fighters. He would have continued to dominate the middleweight division had he not suffered the mentally debilitating loss to Leonard. While Hopkins has been middleweight champion longer, with more title defenses, it can be argued that he never faced opponents the caliber of Duran and Hearns, both of whom Hagler defeated.

    6 – Archie Moore – 181 wins, 24 losses, 9 draws and 1 no contest, 145 KO

    Looking at the record, it is easy to see why the “Old Mongoose” or “Ancient Archie” has made it to the list. Archie’s career spanned over 4 decades, and it the only fighter to have faced by Rocky Marciano and Muhammed Ali. Archie was a better Light Heavyweight than he was a pure Heavyweight. He had his light heavyweight title stripped from him twice because he was too busy fighting at a higher weight class. No other fighter has knocked out as many professional opponents as Archie.

    5 – Roy Jones Jr – 49 wins, 3 losses, 38 KO

    This particular selection is highly debatable, and may end with Roy’s removal from the list completely. While there is no denying his talent, there is question as to if his showmanship and opponent section unfairly propelled him into his status. Winning a championship fight after playing paid basketball the same day was previously unheard of. As was becoming a champion at middleweight all the way up to heavyweight. Before his last two fights, Jones’ only defeat was a bogus call after he was disqualified against Montell Griffin, which he quickly avenged. Jones has at least warranted due considering, and an initial entry to the list.

    4 – Joe (Brown Bomber) Louis – Won 68 Lost 3, 54 KO

    While there seems to be some dispute over whether 5 of his victories by KO were exhibition matches or not, there is a consensus not take seriously 2 of his 3 losses in failed comeback attempts. The last, and most humiliating defeat was an 8th round KO through the ropes by Rocky Marciano. The Brown Bomber was so much in debt, that he tried to come back well past his prime. The fact that so much cultural identify was thrust upon his shoulders, made Joe Louis not only one of the greatest pure fighters, but a true icon for America’s 2nd class citizens. Joe will be best known for his 1st round KO over Germany’s Max Schmeling in 1938. Schmeling beat the favored Louis in 12 years only a few years earlier. Even when Joe won the Heavyweight title by knockout, he refused to be called champion until he settled the score with Schmeling. It is this attitude that made him a national hero despite his color.

    3 – Julio Cesar Chavez – Won 104 Lost 5, 2 draws, 80 KO

    Julio is a Mexican world champion boxer who won world titles in 3 different divisions. Among the world champions that Chávez defeated in his career are Edwin Rosario, Jose Luis Ramirez, Rocky Lockridge, Meldrick Taylor, Roger Mayweather, Sammy Fuentes, Héctor “Macho” Camacho, Juan Laporte, and Tony López. Chavez went 13 years before not winning a fight, with a draw to Pernell Whitaker, and it was another year later before he suffered his first defeat which was avenged 4 months later. Only in his last 8 years of his 24 year career did Chavez acount for 4 of his 5 losses to 3 different oppenents. He was able to avenge his lose to Willey Wise, but failed in second attempt to Oscar De La Hoya.

    2 – Muhammed (Louisville Lip) Ali – won 56 Lost 5, 37 KO

    In my book, Ali will also go down as one of the greatest human beings of all time. As purely a boxer, only a “what could have been” during his 3 year lay off after refusing to go to Vietnam prevents him from being the best ever. He came back after 3 years to lose his first of three asking Joe Frazier. Both were undefeated at the time. The same happened with Ken Norton. In both cases, Ali came back to whup them in the next 2 fights. Although the two became friends later on, Ali is also credited with knocking Foreman out in the ring, out of boxing, and onto the pulpit. Leon Spinks got Ali during his declining years, but Ali still come back to beat him in 1979. What happened to Ali in the next two fights against Holmes and Berbick is eerily similar to what is happening now with Roy Jones Jr. In neither case, should those 2 fights be included into what was an otherwise spectacular career.

    1 – (Sugar) Ray Robinson 179 wins, 19 losses, 6 draws, 2 no contests, 109 KO

    While many fighters have held that nickname over the years, none have been as sweet as Ray Robinson, whose real name was actually Walker Smith Jr. Robinson won the middleweight title an unprecedented 5 times. Even Muhammed Ali referred to Sugar Ray as the greatest fighter ever (it is rumoured that Robinson actually refused to give Ali an autograph when Ali met him while Ali was still young, and Clay). Unlike Moore, the majority of Robinson’s losses came at the end of his career.

    Honorable Mention

    Floyd Mayweather Jr – 32 Wins, 0 Losses, 21 Knockouts

    Now regarded (arguably) as the best active pound for pound boxer

    Roberto Duran – 103 Wins, 16 Loss, 69 Knockouts

    He will forever by scarred by his 8th round quit job on Sugar Ray Leonard.

    Evander (Real Deal) Holyfield – 38 Wins, 7 Losses, 2 Draw, 25 KO

    Was undisputed cruiserweight and heavyweight champion of the world. He also was the man that destroyed the aura that was Mike Tyson. He will have his place in boxing history, but not as one of the greatest ever.

    (Smokin’) Joe Frazier – 32 wins, 4 losses, 1 draw, 27 KO

    Also one of the most feared fighters ever, but 2 losses to Ali and Foreman will keep him off this list.

    Thomas Hearns – 59 wins 4 Loss 1 Draw, 46 KO

    AKA “the Hit Man” and “the Motor City Cobra”, Hearns won seven world championships in six weight classes during his 22 year pro career. But losses to Leonard (his first ever) and Hagler will keep him off the list.

    Bernard Hopkins – 45 wins, 2 losses, 1 draw, 1 NC, 32 KO

    More so than Hagler, Hopkins had a slow start to his career. When he finally won the belt, he has defended against the best of the 90’s and 2000. He may end up considered in the 10 top yet.

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  • How To Start Marketing Your Business

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    To new business owners, starting a business is often its own reward. They are thrilled to be able to be their own bosses, and to successfully get a business up and running. Often they are happy just to keep the dream alive.

    But every business needs to grow. That doesn’t mean you have to reach out to a larger market – it means working toward increasing your share of the one you are targeting. This will keep your business healthy enough to survive obstacles such as tough economic times.

    In order to keep moving forward, we need to market our businesses constantly. We need to dedicate a certain percentage of our resources to building our brand and reaching our target market. Here are some simple things you can do to help your business grow.

    Have a clear picture of your target market.

    Find out what types of people use the products and services you provide and respond to your business philosophies. If you’re not marketing to the right people, all will be lost.

    Research, research, research.

    Determine how to best reach your target market and what they expect out of your offerings. Study your competition carefully, and make note of what they’re doing right and wrong.

    Choose your marketing channels wisely.

    If your target market rarely reads, there’s no point in advertising in a magazine. Use what you’ve learned about them to find the best possible outlets for your message, and focus your marketing efforts there.

    Give your advertising a chance.

    Studies show that consumers require repeated exposure to a product before they will even consider buying. So don’t be surprised if one ad run doesn’t bring spectacular results. If you’ve done your homework and found a viable way to reach your market, run the ad at least two more times before you evaluate the results.

    Take advantage of free publicity.

    Sending out press releases and finding other ways to attract the media will give you high-quality exposure, and it won’t eat into your budget.

    Keep track of the effectiveness of your marketing efforts.

    If what you’re doing is working, you should be generating more revenue. Use some of that revenue to do more marketing. If it isn’t working, make adjustments and try again.

    Sometimes you’ll have to take a step back with your marketing plans. But that’s not a sign you’ve failed. It’s a sign that you’re a smart marketer. Sometimes the market changes, and it’s up to us to monitor those changes and adjust our marketing plans accordingly. No successful company markets the same way forever. By evolving with our target market, we can make our marketing work better.

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    Source by Jon Allo

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  • At The Edge Of The Detachment – From a Reiki Energy Healing Session

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    When I started learning about energy healing, especially Reiki, I was expecting miracles to happen in the physical level to people who I conduct healing for. I wanted that to happen as I witnessed the suffering of many loved ones and had the eagerness to render assistance.

    I know that the healing procedure failed on so many occasions to diagnose and heal. However, the side effects of pills to our body system cannot be sidelined as well as the physical and emotional pain after a surgical procedure.

    I saw many people who had mental issues and were taking pills to calm them down so they don’t become dangerous to themselves or others, but it rarely helps to put them on track again.

    I read so many books on the idea that the body can heal itself, and that the mind has the power to create miracles but I never witnessed one. I was hoping that Reiki can be the creator of these miracles that initiate self-healing of the body.

    My journey to learn about energy healing started from the moment I felt that my purpose should be about helping people who are suffering. So, it was a journey in searching for something to help.

    After performing many Reiki sessions on one of my relatives and had no good results, I inquired from my teacher to know more about the expectations from Reiki sessions but his answer was that when you do a session, the energy definitely channels to the body and locate the areas where healing is needed. You may do it to heal an issue whereas it healed another issue or produce result never attached to the expectations.

    Today, after many years of channeling the universal energy, Reiki to myself and many clients, I witnessed so many miracles, most of them on myself.

    It is important to know that Reiki energy goes to the part of the body that need healing, on both physical and mental level. But the client should allow it, subconsciously. In another word, if the receiver of the energy keeps on fighting with their own thought and telling themselves that the Reiki is not helping, then definitely it won’t help. But if they surrender themselves to the energy allowing and realising that it will definitely do the change that it meant to do for that session then the result will be more than the expectations.

    Reiki always surprise me with how effective and powerful it is. Just allow it and witness the results.

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    Source by Zahra’a Sharif

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  • Why Not Have A Happy Marriage While Avoiding The Crash Of A Divorce?

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    It is very important to find both present moment joy and pleasure about happy and successful married life and your future.

    Happiness is of the keys to a successful marriage and is the fuel for a significant life, and without it we can not appear to get the life we want.

    Ways to find happiness and to have a successful marriage is not always a simple solution, and yet you have to be conscious of it.

    You must concentrate on the things that you have in order to find that you both have a happy married life.

    Many folks prefer to dwell on the important things that they do not have and even pine over them.

    When people can not find happiness in their own life they do not know the best ways to grow and discover into happy married life.

    How to possess the keys to a successful marriage means the aspect that you already have actually found happiness in your own life.

    In regular times, individuals understand exactly what they are blessed with.

    Others, who just merely crave exactly whatever they see and want it severely and obsessively, are never pleased for their worldly belongings can not fill the empty void inside of them.

    The best ways to discover happiness in a marriage starts with everybody finding happiness with God.

    When mood swings are in the air and lift you up assisting you to forget concerns, God will help you through your state of mind.

    Happiness is the normal state of grace for mankind.

    Take a look at a little child taking its first steps with a proud smile and you will realize that state of grace I’m speaking of.

    The little child does not want anything in return, it is genuinely pleased.

    For the next few days hang around looking for your pure instants of joy.

    Each instant in your life kept filled with enjoyment will help you to keep happiness and joy in your marriage.

    Please count the moments of joy that you have felt. How to find happiness in a marriage is by your mindset.

    Being truly happy is everything!

    Previously I discussed free available information on saving the marriage today by staying happy in such an often conflicting world.

    True happiness is a mindset of observing the excellence of grace within you constantly flowing your way.

    We need to understand how to keep from sinking far too low while we journey through this world.

    The trick to finding joy in our own lives and of our marital relationship is to get into the habit of searching for advantages, rather of griping all the time about whatever that has failed.

    Pleasure offers us a sensation of power and energy.

    Delight means being excited about now and about the future.

    I always thought that to discover actually JOY in your life that you need to follow these simple fundamental guidelines.

    You need to put your inner divine Self first in your life, something Jesus and so many other masters were here to teach us.

    Jesus has channeled to us through the Course in Miracles that, “My holy brother, I would enter into all relationships, and step between you and your fantasies. Let my relationship to you be real to you, and let me bring reality to your perception of your brothers.”

    Always put others upfront in your life, and have a caring attitude toward the world in general.

    That has always been my mantra, so to speak, for a better more fulfilled happy life and a happy married life.

    You must focus on the things that you have within you and learn to reflect that abundance and joy to the material world, in order to find happiness in your marital relationship, too.

    Be sure to extend your inner bliss.

    Remember, when you have no inner bliss being projected to your life in this world, you can not ever realize how to find happiness in a marriage.

    How to discover happiness in a marriage stems from the element that you already have discovered joy in your own life.

    On the other hand, a once happy married life for some folks turns into to an ugly matter of the divorce.

    (Please also note, I suggest seeking out the web for more helpful material on things like, how coping with divorce may need to be addressed, and if so, learning to redirect the mental power of our errors into positive results.)

    To success in love and life!

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    Source by James Nussbaumer

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  • How Did Don Vierra Become the World Renowned Consultant in Health Information System?

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    For those in Health Informatics, the name “Vieira” might not sound strange. Immanuel Antonius, professionally known as Don Vieira, is a successful and independent consultant who has reached horizons beyond expectations. The 32-year old Technoprenuer has ticked off projects, which most consultants still consider as a dream.While he was brought up in Namibia, his expertise and skills were never limited to the boundaries. If Namibia is his primary home, his work stations or contracted duty stations have become the secondary residence where he used to spend most of his days.

    As far as his academic background is concerned, he holds an Honors’ degree in Computer Science, Advanced diploma in Monitoring and Evaluation, certifications on Health Information Systems (HIS) and A masters’ degree in Biometrics from the University of Paris – Est créteil in France.

    Like people dream of being associated with tech giants such as Facebook or Google, he achieved the milestone of serving for similar giants in the health sector. Some of his notable associations are with World Health Organization (WHO), Centre for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), United Nations (UN), United States Agency for International Development (USAID), Clinton Health Access Initiative (CHAI), IntraHealth International, Global Fund, Population Service International (PSI), Jay Snow Inc. and the list goes on.

    Apart from his experience in healthcare informatics, language is one of those factors that contributed to his stature elevation. His understanding about seven languages, including English, Spanish, French and Portuguese, has helped him deal with people from different backgrounds.In other words, there has never been any force that stopped him from achieving his goals across the borders.

    With Ten (10) years of experience, he has built and supported several national systems such as the e-Health, Malaria, TB, PMTCT, Nutrition, VMMC and HIV- just to mention a few. He also trained more than 20,000 people including government officials, managers, nurses, doctors and technical people to bring significant changes in their methods of elevating the quality of life for the public.

    Vieira has developed strong professional relationships with several organisations in Kenya, Uganda, Mocambique, South Africa, Namibia, Angola, Germany, India, DRC, Zambia and the United States.Most of them used to admire his determination and skills for giving the best in every area.

    If he is assigned to a work, there is no force that can stop him from transforming a novice into an expert. Below are three of some of the notable milestones that gave a kick start to his career:

    1. A Discrete Choice Experiment for pharmacists- he worked with Dr. Peter Rockers, an assistant professor in the Department of Global Health at the Boston University School of Public Health, to bring visible changes in the health informatics. At the time of experiment, Dr. Peter Rockers was at Harvard Medical School.

    2. Vieira wore the big shoe when he took over the position of HIS Technical Advisor from Jim Sitzer, who went to become the Director in Public Health for the Umatilla County Health Department, Oregon in the US.

    3. During Vieira’s venture as a Technical Advisor for JSI, he developed a web-based master facility (MFL) for Namibia. It consists of a map indicating the location of all public health facilities in the country.The list aims to assist public locate services provided by the nearest health facilities, on the other hand, it also aims to guide the ministry of health in planning and equity in resource allocation and distribution. The MFL was built based on WHO guidelines

    Due to internet connectivity issues in most rural áreas, the Health Extension Workers were forced to use paper registers to collect patients’ information. This led to poor data quality since paper would torn or get lost. With an urge to find an appropriate solution, he created a mobile app that has the capability to store data without internet connectivity.

    Over the past few years, Vieira has won few accolades and gained international recognition for his consultancy expertise.His efforts have also managed to attract new audiences including influential decision makers from government authorities to NGOs. His passion for innovation and Technopreneurshipis what that has always made him different from others.

    For his next project, he promised to create what most government bodies and NGOs have failed to implement- “The Situation Room” that will bring new changes to the health sector.

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    Source by Anusha Saeed

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  • Book Review Of Millionaire Fastlane

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    Book Review of Millionaire Fastlane by M.J. Demarco

    This book is one of the best books on Entrepreneurship in which the author lays out five commandments to be on the Millionaire Fastlane. According to the author, until and unless the business complies with the five commandments, they are not destined to be successful. These commandments are:

    Commandment of Need, Entry, Control, Scale and Time (NECST).

    Commandment of Need:

    Millionaires affect lives of millions of people by adding some values to their lives and hence are millionaires. If the marketplace does not care about your product or service then it is not going to add value to the marketplace and it is a failed venture before it takes off. So, every business should first figure out if there is a need for the service or product your business is going to deliver or not.

    So, we have seen test products being sold for free to test the water. All they are doing is trying to figure out if there is any demand or not.

    People often start business with wrong reasons. They are good at something and very skilled and open a business about it. But if the marketplace does not care about it, it’s going to be a failure because marketplace is a selfish place. It does not care what you want, what you have, how good you are. All it cares about it is what is it for them. If it adds some value to their lives then they will buy it otherwise not. So, it’s a big eye opener for me and could be for so many budding entrepreneurs.

    Commandment of Entry:

    This is the second commandment to successful business. If the barrier to entry is very easy it means millions will be doing the same thing and you will not have the ability to scale your business but rather will have to decrease the price and compete those millions. Usually war of price harms all the parties. For example if creating a website and writing a blog and generate income is your business then there is not enough barrier to entry unless you try to add something extra value to the marketplace which not anyone else has added yet. An example which the author gives few times is when he thought about starting Limo business. He found it failed both the first and second commandments. There was no need for one more limo business and barrier was very low to enter into this business.

    Commandment of Control:

    If you have no control over your business and you have given entire authority to another party, you are doomed to failure.

    Many entrepreneurs start a company and then hire a CEO or CFO to completely take control of operation or finance. They know nothing about what is going on and that is the recipe to failure. Especially when entrepreneurs do not have any basic financial knowledge like what is loan mortgage, how to calculate simple interest but hire an expert to help them make decisions. Since they themselves cannot take a second look at the decisions made by their advisers, chances are that they might screw up and entrepreneur will have to bear the loss.

    One of the examples given in the book about the benefit of controlling the business is given as the following. If you are a doctor working at a private-care facility it’s natural to think that you are on the fastlane because your magnitude (price/unit) is large and that will increase the net profit and hence wealth. But, the control of the private care facility is not held by the doctors but by the owner. So, it’s him who is on the fastlane not the doctor who depends on his intrinsic value to increase the wealth.

    Commandment of Scale:

    The author gives an example of a burger stall outside a supermarket. No matter how much the owner tries, he cannot scale his business and reach out to customers outside of the supermarket. So, this business violates the commandment of scale. But an e-store that sells some product in the internet has unlimited number of customers and hence has the capacity to scale his business to unlimited level. However, if the entrepreneur can create franchise of any burger store then he has the ability to scale and will be on the fastlane.

    The author gives an example of a quote by the billionaire Mark Cuban who said it only one business to be successful. So, it’s important that we undertake projects which can be scaled up. In baseball terms, take swing for home runs not singles. If you do decide to play singles, you have to replicate the effort many more times.

    The Fastlane wealth equation is:

    Wealth = Net Profit + Asset Value

    Net Profit = Units sold * Unit Profit

    The leverage is created by the units sold. If you are selling burgers on the supermarket lot, you are limiting the leverage and hence you are on the speed limit of 15 mph road. Also, you cannot increase the price of the burger so the unit profit cannot be controlled as well.

    So, either you have to be able to reach millions of people to increase the Units Sold quantity or sell at very high price to extra wealthy clients to increase the unit profit values.

    Commandment of time:

    Time is the scarcest resource we have. Most people spend money frugally and time freely. That according to the author is exactly the wrong way to the road to wealth. Time is limited and money is abundant. Only difference between successful and unsuccessful people is the way they spend their time. The former value each moment of their life and spend it to increase their self-worth. The latter waste it on fulfilling their immediate desires like watching TV series, indulging in games etc. for long period of time etc.

    As per the author, fastlane is not an easy path but sure it should be a fast way to earn wealth.

    As a fastlaner, our goal should be to automate the travel. If you have a business which requires you to dedicate each moment of your life all the time and always have to trade time for money, it’s a job masked as a business. It’s a money tree that never grows.

    It’s normal to work more than 80 hours per week in the starting phase of a business but it’s not normal to work like that for the rest of the life which is a normal for most of the people working normal life. One of the famous quotes from the book which is often used outside as well is about how most of the people define as normal. Normal is to wake up at 6 am, fight traffic, work 8 hours or slave 8 hours Monday to Friday, save 10% and repeat for 50 years. Normal is to believe that stock market will make us rich and fastest car and bigger house will make us happy. The definition of normal is corrupted by the society and we are conditioned to believe that. In short, the author believes, normal is modern day slavery and that’s why only few have the courage and the intelligence to come out of normalcy and drive on a millionaire’s fastlane.

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    Source by Manju Pradhanang

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  • Addiction To Unrequited Love

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    The Torchbearer – S/he will love me one day

    It sounds silly for one to be addicted to unrequited love, but it can sometimes be the result of growing up in a household where love was either conditional or not consistent. As a child, the “torchbearer,” may have been always trying to win the love, praise or affection from a parent (or someone else influential) who was unavailable, abusive or failed to provide proper nurturing…. or the child could have witnessed one parent in a sort of unrequited love relationship with the other and could have taken that energy on. If it wasn’t an issue of childhood environment, then possibly some sort of other trauma occurred to upset the torchbearer’s self-esteem and their ability to feel safe receiving love. It can also result from a sudden and unexpected separation, betrayal, health, or appearance issue.

    At an existential level, the torchbearer may have developed a belief that they are not worthy of love and they may find themselves attracted to love situations that seem to keep them stuck in this dynamic: loving someone, but not able to fully receive love back. Although the person feels unworthy of love on some level, often they know they are worthy on another level, which the torchbearer then may become confused as to why they stay addicted to an unavailable person. The relationship then becomes about fantasy, idealization, avoidance, or a love-hate relationship ensues where the addict both loves and disapproves of the object of their devotion.

    According to love addiction expert Susan Peabody, the main categories of love addictions include:

    • obsessed love addicts: obsess and can’t let go even if their partners are unavailable or abusive
    • codependent love addiction: needy to please partner for sense of self
    • narcissistic love addicts: take advantage of their partner and can act disinterested, selfish or abusive and yet still feel addicted to partner and can’t let go
    • ambivalent love addicts: this category includes unrequited love addicts (also known as “torch-bearers”), saboteurs, seductive withholders, and romance addicts. The main goal through this kind of love addiction is the avoidance of true deep emotional intimacy and bonding. These addicts crave love and affection, but are afraid to get too close at the same time.

    Unrequited love addicts are part of the category of Ambivalent Love Addicts. Susan Peabody was the first to create the term “Ambivalent Love Addiction”. Her book “Addiction to Love: Overcoming Obsession and Dependency in Relationships,” is an amazing book for anyone wishing to learn more about love addiction.

    To be an ambivalent love addict, or torchbearer, means that one deeply craves love, intimacy, commitment, and unconditional love. However, at the same time, one has fears of relating deeply to another person. Such love addicts can end up pushing love away or holding it at a distance. Subconsciously, it can feel much safer for these individuals to love someone who isn’t fully there or who doesn’t want a full-on commitment. Picking an individual who is married, committed to another, distant, a player, a saboteur, or a sex addict may act to help the torchbearer avoid a true relationship. Some torchbearers end up addicted to friends or colleagues and hope the relationship will become something more.

    With many of the torchbearers that I have read, I find there is usually an excuse to continue chasing the love interest. However, there is also always a counterproductive excuse for never letting the love interest know their real feelings. It is even possible that if the object of infatuation actually returned affection or expressed desire for commitment towards the love addict, the love addict might not crave the interest anymore. One popular excuse that I have heard reads something like: “getting what I wanted or asked for took too long, therefore I no longer trust the love interest anymore, so I no longer want a relationship.” Once the love interest gives up, separation anxiety sets in again. Why does this occur? An illusion has been broken and the person idolized has become more human and less of a challenge to the ego.

    The torchbearer runs the risk that even if they obtain the object of their desire they may not achieve the closeness or intimacy they desire unless they change why they were addicted in the first place. Sometimes the addiction simply changes. An addict may transform from a torchbearer into a seductive withholder. They can even start becoming a codependent love addict if the once unrequited love relationship begins to become real.

    So, how do you know if you are addicted to unrequited love?

    What are the symptoms? The symptoms listed below are not comprehensive, but ones I typically see with clients (usually women):

    • Do you obsess over or find yourself only attracted to love interests who are not available in some way or who are married, playing you, who are “just friends,” or have left you?
    • Do you fear communication or to let the person know your interest in them, feelings, and other basic questions for fear of rejection or to keep the fantasy going? Or do you find yourself communicating but unable to accept a lack of response or a non-commital response without hoping if you wait long enough you will be wholly wanted?
    • Do you suffer in silence while you hold adoration towards someone who doesn’t really know? Some unrequited love addicts pursue their interests opening and ardently, but others can hold torches for people who they will not let themselves get close to nor let themselves be revealed in any real way.
    • Do you expect your love interest to be psychic/empathic and to just know and interpret your feelings and needs, even though there has been no grounded communication? Are you living out your relationship psychically or vicariously through “signs” or empathic feelings that the other person may be thinking about you, even if there is no contact?
    • Do you find yourself always hoping and waiting for the other person to make an interest in you known?
    • Can you never feel “close” in a real way to the person you are holding a torch for?
    • Are you always living out the relationship in your head?
    • Are you continually asking yourself many questions, wondering about the other person feelings and intentions (or potential future intentions) without ever grounding anything to test to see if any fantasies are real?
    • Do you have other addictions, such as to sex, psychics, alcohol etc?
    • Do you feel you cannot let go of the love interest even though it is not making you feel loved? Do feel powerless to stop at will.
    • Is the preoccupation with this interest having a more negative affect on you spiritually, financially and other ways than positive? In the end, are you losing more than you gain?
    • Do you have a history of being hurt or obsessing on lack of love, attention or approval by a parent or someone else influential in your earlier life?
    • For those with less intense expressions of this addiction: are you confused why you only seem to attract or are attracted to unavailable people or people who are not 100% wanting a relationship? And with this, do you feel bored with people who are into you or once a relationship starts to develop? Does it seem that all the people who would be right and loving towards you, you cannot “fall in love” with?

    If you have an “interest” that you crave but are afraid to reach out to in any real and genuine way for fear of rejection, then you might be addicted to unrequited love. You may also be addicted if there is an underlying knowledge that expressing your wants and needs would not be appropriate. I’ve talked to many clients who are totally engaged with these types of interests, sometimes even sexually. But, usually they know on some level there are certain things they cannot ask/dare put forward cause the relationship is casual though they want something more. Though the “craving” is not always required, this article is mostly written for the hard core unrequited love addict.

    Here is an example of one kind of non-communicative unrequited love addict who does have some relationship and interaction with her love interest:

    A woman starts to like an attractive man. They meet and there is some flirting — the man seems interested to the woman. Information is exchanged followed by mixed signals that mark the relationship. The woman starts obsessing and fantasizing about having a relationship with the man. However, the man won’t make a clear move and the woman ends up doing most of the contacting to keep interaction ongoing. The woman acts casual because she wants the man to make his interest known first. She is getting some cues of affection and indication of interest, but it’s kept superficial and she is always unsure. This goes on for some time, sometimes months, and she starts thinking “Does this guy really want a relationship or am I just casual or a friend?” Despite feeling a sense of unknowing and distress, the woman will never risk asking to find out. She starts asking advice from other friends who tell her to forget about the man, but she hangs on in hope he will ask for a real date or commitment or show he cares.

    The man is simply not putting out vibe of wanting a full-on relationship. However, she starts to fantasize that maybe he is just scared, can’t communicate or is insecure. She fantasizes that he will start to be more demonstrative or want something more if she can just hang in or never upset the status quo. She even wonders, “should I say something or make a move”, but something inside is telling her it’s not safe to tell this person how she feels because they are not on the same page, so she withholds keeps holding a torch for this person. She finds out the man has started to pursue someone else and she feels upset and feels betrayed. But, still, she has never had clear indication they are in a “relationship.”

    In the worst cases of unrequited love addiction I have seen, the client is addicted to psychics, using spell casters to cast spells to make their love more available, or are even asking for healing sessions on the person they are addicted to hoping healing something in their love interest will change the reality of what is going on.

    What Can You Do If This Sounds Like You?

    Often, I see two main themes running in these relationships: fear of true communication (or fear of accepting a communication or lack there of), and fear of vulnerability & rejection. Many times I also recommend torchbearers learn how to set boundaries and how to respect others boundaries. If the torchbearer is holding on waiting for a “sign” or demonstration from the love object, afraid of giving up, learning communication would help with getting out of fantasizing a relationship and making it more real. In the least, the torchbearer can get closure, if the love addict’s desires are not reciprocated.

    Getting closure isn’t always an easy thing for a love addict. It is often considered to be a harsh rejection. Many frightened unrequited love addicts wish to avoid being hurt at all costs. However, with this cost, these love addicts avoid true intimacy and relationships.

    Most unrequited love clients I work with have a shut down throat chakra. They may have been raised or learned through some experience that expressing feelings or needs is a burden on others, a sign of weakness, inferiority or something to be afraid of. Codependent types are afraid to cause any sort of confrontation or rejection for themselves. However, the only way out is through. The crux is that this dynamic is used to avoid another hurt or rejection and this continues the cycle of avoiding true commitment, intimacy and bonding.

    Step 1: Communication With Yourself

    The first step is for the torchbearers to ask themselves what they truly want from a relationship. What is their vision of how they want to be loved and committed to? This step may be one of the hardest. The unrequited love addict may be so used to avoiding confrontation that asking them to figure out what they want and need seems strange. Torchbearers ask themselves “How do I get someone who doesn’t care to do so? How can I be better? More lovable?” Simply leaving an unrequited love may not solve the problem either. It may just transfer the love addiction from one of pursuing the unrequited love interest to holding a torch and suffering in silence while pining after the loss. They may remain stuck, wondering if maybe this person is still missing them or thinking of them and it gives them hope for reconciliation.

    Step 2: Communication With Your Love Interest

    If communication is possible to ask for closure, this is the next step. I recommend asking in direct ways and not just looking for “signs.” State what you want out of love and a relationship, and ask the object of your affection if they feel they will ever be able to give it. Risk hearing the truth and risk rejection. This helps break the fantasy and though may be incredibly painful, it is the next step towards risking true intimacy and attracting the right relationship and breaking through all the fears that prevent it from coming. The whole idea of love addiction is the belief that without love one is nothing. If one can risk losing love and still see themselves as whole, then one can start going into relationships with sense of self as a sole identity which another can complement, rather than feeling another will complete them.

    Fear of intimacy (getting to know someone deeply), commitment, communication, rejection, boundaries, and confrontation needs to be challenged. Love addicts can also seem like perpetual victims or trauma junkies. So healing the need to be a victim is key too.

    Taking on the challenge of learning to set boundaries, risk confrontation and rejection, to communicate ones wants and needs (and listening to another’s – which this might be the real fear) may seem overwhelming. But, it is the only way out. All of this should be targeted, in addition to working on childhood issues, which implanted some of these fears and patterns.

    Step 3: Accepting What Is Communicated Back or Any Lack Of A Response

    Sometimes, the love addict at this stage may have been totally clear with their love interest what they want and they still feeling or receiving mixed signals. The person of their infatuation may be ambivalent, stringing them along, or afraid to just be honest and give them the closure they need. Sometimes there may be a lack of response — ie: an email is sent to the love object who appears to be avoiding sending a response back. In these cases, aim for setting a boundary for yourself on how long you will wait for what you need and stick to it. Be willing to recognize when you need to either end a relationship or at least bring it down to a more casual and detached level while you pursue other options.

    For those who find they are always making clear what they want and are still waiting to receive it or feeling unheard, the lesson may be in knowing when its time to stop voicing your needs and wants realizing they will not be met or cared for. Just affirm to yourself as much as you can that you can and are willing to find someone who can meet your wants and needs.

    Step 4: Changing and Challenging One’s Views on Love

    I also recommend changing how one views love. There is something self-absorbed in all the withholding and holding on. It is focused on fear and self-protection instead of love or generosity and true interest in another person and their needs and feelings. Many love addicts actually fool themselves into thinking their co-dependence is proof that they are being more loving than anything else. However, love is about extending and exposing oneself in the face of rejection and providing a safe and open place for someone else to extend and expose themselves. Love is not manipulative, wanting to change people or situations or waiting for such situations or people to change.

    Love is not about being a martyr either. If you can’t take a risk to know anyone else or have them tell you their wants and needs, or accept or listen when they are not on the same page, how can you expect someone to care and listen concerning your own wants and needs?

    Not all unrequited love addicts are afraid to state their wants, needs, and boundaries. But, often what can happen is the torchbearer is always stating needs and boundaries and they are not listening to what is being conveyed back. They keep hoping the love object will change, mature, or outgrow his detached stance.

    A Few Self-Help Healing Tools

    While one can always benefit from professional therapies, coaching, and alternative healing sessions geared towards transmuting thought patterns, there are a few healing tools that can be used to assist recovery from love addictions (feel free to look for others as I only mention a few here).

    If one has ever used “flower essences” before (a form of homeopathy), Australian Bush Flower Essences (www.abfeusa.com for more information) has a “Relationship Essence” which contains the following:

    • Boab: helps bring change, helps clears negative core patterns that are rooted in family and which are inherited. Can also help clear negative lines of karma that exist between individuals and past life influence.
    • Bluebell: is for those who cut themselves off from their feelings and helps to open the heart and to disolve greed and rigidity. Emotions are present but withheld and there is even fear of expressing positive emotions such as joy and love, etc through operation of fear that there is just not enough and they can’t survive if they let go of all they hold onto.
    • Bottlebrush: helps one to resolve mother issues and helps one embrace major life changes. It brushes away the past allowing individuals to move on and go forward.
    • Bush Gardenia: helps one to renew passion and interest in relationships. Helps with intimacy, and resolving where there is too much self-interest or lack of awareness in a partnership.
    • Dagger Hakea: Is for helping on to release resentments, bitterness and grudges.
    • Flannel Flower: is for those who fear emotional or physical intimacy, getting too close and who have a hard time maintaining personal boundaries. Helps one to garner trust to express ones innermost feelings.
    • Red Helmet Orchid: Helps for resolving father issues, probelms with confrontation or authority.
    • Red Suva Frangipani: Is for the rocky relationship that is challenged and is also for resolving deep sense of loss and sadness when a relationship is in trouble or has ended. Helps to heal that feeling of Wedding Bush: Is for issues with commitment to a relationship, job, goal etc. It can be used for individuals who tend to flit from one relationship to another, or for those who leave relationships when the crush phase or initial attraction has diminished.

    A book I highly recommend is Addiction to Love: Overcoming Obsession and Dependency in Relationships by Susan Peabody (co-founder of LAA).

    Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is another tool that can help with love addictions. EFT can be easy to learn for free from demonstrations on YouTube or free downloads on various sites.

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    Source by Mandy Peterson

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  • The Renegade Network Marketer Review – Is It Worth?

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    From what I’ve I noticed so far, all the big names in network marketing and internet marketing, after years of experience, of failed attempts, frustrations and lessons learned have found the formula for online success. Years of work have been rewarded with many, many millions of dollars, but also with recognition as an experts in the field.

    Thus, people like Jonathan Budd, Ann Sieg and Mike Dillard have created their own systems that put their business on autopilot. Among these, I found one that caught my attention and I tried it myself..It is Ann Sieg’s system, The Renegade Network Marketer.

    First of all, what is the Renegade Network Marketer?

    Well, this system is a big win for the MLM industry, as a result of several years of efforts, failures and tries. Ann Sieg has managed to create something that totally changes your perspective on network marketing.

    The Renegade Network Marketer e-book you undermine all your beliefs about how we should think and recruit new people in a MLM business. Ann Sieg explains in her book all the mistakes that 97% of the network marketers do and introduces a new concept: Atraction Marketing.

    What does this mean? Instead of running after people and trying to convince them to join “your unique business opportunity”, you better attract people to you. Now,you don’t jump on every prospect you find,you go to a well-defined categories of people who are already interested in what you have to offer. Actually you give them what they want!

    Very important, this e-book explains you how to use the huge power of the Internet to build your business and especially how to build yourself an image of an expert in the field. So, it is more important to promote yourself, to appear as someone who offers solutions and then to sell.

    Once you bought the eBook you get life acces to The Renegade System.

    This system is very effective and very useful, especially for beginners in online marketing, because it contains many marketing strategies very well explained: articles, banners, blogging, social networking, email etc.. With these strategies you learn how to to generate traffic to your blog or website and then turn it into sales and money.

    And the most interesting part of this system is that it offers you the opportunity to promote further the ebook, but also to join as an affiliate in other auxiliary programs useful for online marketing. So you can have multiple sources of income at the same time.

    The system also includes some very important bonus: the book “7 great lies in Network Marketing” and a free report Virology. 7 major lies in Network Marketing tells all the truth about MLM, things that don’t work and that you bring you only failure and frustration but also the solutions to these problems.

    I personally think that the investment I made, buying this system, it’s well worth because of all these valuable resources that teach you how to build your network marketing business from zero and how to develop yourself as an expert in online marketing.

    But I must say that all these materials, the system and all the trainings in the world will not help you if you don’t act!

    The experience of an internet marketer could be summarized in this scheme:

    EDUCATION- MASSIVE ACTION- PERSEVERANCE = RESULTS

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    Source by Dascalul Radu

    Views: 0

  • Multi Level Marketing System – Become The Hunted Instead Of The Hunter

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    One of the few best multi level marketing system that’s making quite the buzz in the industry today is the idea of becoming the authority. Creating an image of being an expert, and expect people to follow you instead of you looking for them. This idea is known as attraction marketing, or more popularly branded as magnetic sponsoring. Your aim is to become a magnet, thus, you become the hunted and no longer the hunter.

    But how do you do this, and why is it so effective? The beauty of attraction marketing is all about saying the right words, and doing the right thing. It’s pulling people in instead of them running away from you. All it takes is for you to be creative enough and be highly motivated, because if you are and you can, you’ll be able to implement a variety of ways to generate leads even while you’re at sleep. Like how it is described: magnetic sponsoring is the total opposite of the traditional failed market method most marketers are still doing today. You have to stop forcing or pitching your sales on prospects who most of the time may have little or no interest at what you have to say. Rather, target those who actually need you, because that’s who’ll be following you and soon may even be converted as your downline in the future.

    How do you become the hunted? The answer is quite effortless, become an expert. Transform yourself into a brand. How do you do this? By sharing what you know. Your expertise is what will attract other like minded people to you. State the problem, and then solve it for them. In the end, you become their guru, and then from there on you can easily lead them to where you want them to go. And where they are going is where your sales or your target objective is. Whether to recruit, to distribute, or to retail, you can easily do this as long as they need you. As long as you give them what they need, they will come to you. It’s that easy.

    What’s best about this is you’ve probably gone through so many failures about network marketing yourself, so you most certainly have a lot to say. By simply sharing what you’ve gone through, the reviews of the products or software you’ve used is help enough. Those who are interested in what you have mentioned there would soon be piling up asking more and more inquiries about you, about other products, and so on. Then they’ll ask what else you know, what worked, and all that. Can you imagine the possibilities? Of what you can offer them besides the business you’re in? Once you’ve established an image, it’s all but a continuous flow of leads.

    In the end, you become the old you who longs to generate quality leads, but now has possible downline prospects. You owe it to yourself to want to learn more about the other strategies and guide involved in the attraction marketing MLM system, and what other stuff it has in stored for you. It’s all but a few steps more, and then you’ll be on your way to instant unlimited leads in no time.

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    Source by Daegan Smith

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  • Review of Secrets of Self-Made Millionaire Book by Adam Khoo

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    This is the first Adam Khoo book I bought, and it really caught my attention. I have heard of Adam Khoo on numerous occasions and wonder what he is like running a few successful businesses making him a self-made millionaire.

    Adam did not immediately dive in to explain the methods he used to achieve great wealth. Instead, he explained how self-made millionaires think which allows them to see opportunities where others see problems. Once you adopt the habits of a millionaire, a whole new world will begin to open to you and is fundamental to wealth creation.

    The next fundamental aspect I learned from Adam about wealth creation is to set crystal clear financial goals. All of the millionaires, billionaires in the world have at some stage of their life decided that they wanted to be rich. From there, the rich will create high level financial goals for themselves to reach within a certain time frame and a specific whole figure is often used as their target. Lets say you want to increase your monthly income to a higher figure, you need to change your strategy.

    With the goals and target set, you create a plan and execute it accordingly. If your goal is to achieve a targeted portfolio, in your plan you will provide how much you need to save and invest each month along with the rate of returns to reach your target in the allocated time frame. If your goal is to increase your monthly income, in your plan you will provide the methods of increasing your primary income source along with any other income source you need to start anew.

    With the financial plan created, you will find that it is going to be a steep uphill task to achieve the targets set in your plan. Many people give up without achieving their dreams. How do you increase your income at the rate that will allow you to achieve your targets? That’s where Adam teaches us how to massively increase our income in any career along with creating a home based internet business.

    Increasing your income in only one side of the coin. The other side of the coin is to reduce expenses. Many people get into serious debt no matter how much income they earned because they failed to manage their expenses, spending more than they earn. It is even easier to get into debt when salespeople from banks constantly push you to sign up for their credit cards. Adam illustrates the essential money skills you need to have and how to reduce expenses without lowering your current standard of living.

    When you increase your income and reduce your expenses, you will have surplus funds. We have to put this surplus funds to work for us instead of just working hard and saving alone which will not make us wealthy. Using the theory of compounding, you can turn small amounts of money into a huge amount over time with discipline. All rich people use investment vehicles to help them create their wealth and the stock market is one such vehicle. They understand both the risk and returns of the stock market allowing them to achieve returns in the range of 15%-25%.

    Last but not least we need to know how to protect our wealth after spending so much time and effort to build it. Unforeseen circumstances can happen and wipe out our wealth if we are not prepared for it. The rich always engage experts to help them protect their wealth from unscrupulous people.

    I highly recommend Adam Khoo’s Secrets of self-made millionaires if you want to learn how to build extraordinary wealth using multiple sources of income. Many areas of his book have exercises for you to practice what he has taught to accelerate your wealth creation. Get his book now!

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    Source by Raymond Heng

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